Frye could feel a migraine coming on.
Her emotionally taxing tea time long since concluded, she found herself hunched over the chabudai, face buried in the palm of her hands as she struggled to process everything that had transpired. Between the blood chilling surprise encounter with Shiver, her sudden announcement of quitting both Deep Cut and the NSS and newfound ambition as an amateur novelist, it was enough to make Frye's head spin.
It wounded her deeply to admit it, but in the hour since she stepped into the home Frye was forced to come to terms with the fact that Shiver, her witty, strong-willed and reliable friend, had gone completely insane. Over the hills and into new lands of pizza-on-pineapples crazy.
The shame of performing this taboo suckling, upon her dearest rival no less, had shaken Shiver to the core by virtue of her Octarian nature. Her fragile psyche hung by a thread that could snap at any moment, it was only through a severe case of self delusion that she was able to function in her delicate state of mind. Though, it would appear her dubious mental stability came at the cost of a weakened grip on reality and unnerving disposition.
Groaning, Frye lifted her head up from her hands and glanced worrily over at Shiver, who was busying herself cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. Beside her sat Big Man, who found himself quite engrossed reading through one of Shiver's many journals as he brought up a fin to adjust his prescription strength reading glasses. Frowning, she gave Big Man a sharp nudge at his side, snapping him out of his focus.
"Big Man!" She whispered loudly. "Come on, put that thing down and lend me a fin here. We're here to help Shiver, remember?"
"Ay, ay, (I haven't forgotten,)" replied Big Man, raising up the journal. "Ay, ay. (That being said, Quiver: The Clown Girl is not that bad of a read.) Ay, ay, ay. (The plot's there, but the characters are all over the place. Pacing is a little iffy too.) Ay, ay, ay. (So far it's kept my interest, but Shiver really has lost her marbles if she thinks this is going to be a bestseller.)"
"...That's all well and good, but this helps us, how, exactly?" Frye raised a brow.
"Ay, ay, ay. (Well, I generally believe strong constructive criticism is a cornerstone of the writing process.) Ay, ay, ay, (Also, I thought we could gain some insight into Shiver's predicament by interpreting some of her writing,)" said Big Man as he licked his fin and turned a page. "Ay, ay, ay. (You'd be surprised at what people unwittingly reveal about themselves when they put pen to paper.)"
Frye blinked. It certainly wouldn't have been something she'd be able to come up with on her own, but Big Man's idea was worth checking out, even if it did sound like an excuse for him to keep reading that novel.
"Did you learn anything?" she asked.
"Ay, ay? (Apart from Shiver's gratuitous use of purple prose and tired cliches?)" Big Man quipped. "Ay, ay, ay. (Here, let me read a few passages from the book and let you decide for yourself) Ay. (Ahem.)"
"It had only been a few weeks since Cirque De Squid had taken Quiver in, this wicked wretch of an Octoling who by all rights shouldn't even have been given a second chance after what she had done. She was guilty of committing a crime so heinous, so unspeakably horrendous that even uttering it in hushed, fearful whispers would incite spiraling madness in many and twisting lament in more. It was terrible, horrible, abominable, dreadful, atrocious, abhorrent, unfathomably-"
"Sheesh, can I get some more adjectives here?" Frye snorted.
"Ay, ay, ay, (Yeah, this goes on for a while. Purple prose and whatnot. It's like she's being paid by the word,)" quipped Big Man.
"Hmm, call me crazy but it sounds like she's projecting her trauma onto this character," she deduced, bringing a hand to her chin. "It must have something to do with the suckling. Was there anything you read earlier that could clue us in as to what it is?"
"Ay, ay, ay, (Unfortunately, this story is framed in media res and doesn't elaborate on what exactly it is that Quiver did that is supposed to kick off the main plot,)" said Big Man. "Ay, ay... (Anywho, I should probably get to the good part...)"
"-Though the good folks of the circus had welcomed her into their flock of mischievous misfits and malformed freaks, Quiver still feels an outcast among them. An anomaly among anomalies. She could feel the stares of her peers against her back like sharpened daggers digging deep into her supple flesh, even if they tolerated her it didn't make their looks any less biting.
And so she kept to herself for the time being in the tent, hiding her scornworthy face behind the comfort and safety of a festive looking jester mask, half crying, half laughing and adorned with all manner of glittery sequins and baubles, trinkets and accessories, as she practiced her routine.
Her hearts pounded vigorously within her chest at the thought of performing in front of a crowd. It wasn't the stage fright that was getting to her, however, but rather the idea that she would be stepping back into the outside world, the very same world that had shunned her and abhorred her existence-"
"Wait, that's it!" Frye exclaimed, slamming a blue finger on the page.
"Ay, ay, ay, (I see it. This excerpt could benefit from less flowery language and more direct writing,)" replied Big Man, earning him a look from Frye.
"Wha-? No, I'm saying I know how we could help Shiver," she explained.
"Ay? (How?)" Big Man raised an inquisitive brow.
"We take her out for a day on the town, duh," Frye stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "There's still plenty of time. We take Shiver along with us, hit up our usual haunts, grab some dinner at that one bratwurst, falafel and kimchi joint you like so much, and show her that Splatsville still loves her and that her problems are all in her head. And then she'll get better, rejoin Deep Cut and we can get back to working on Seven Day Forecast."
"Ay, ay, (And the Alterna Investigation,)" Big Man added.
"That too," Frye nodded. "It's the perfect plan. So perfect that only I could come up with it."
"Ay, ay, ay, (I dunno, Frye. I don't think it's gonna be that simple,)" Big Man rubbed at the back of hs head. "Ay, ay, ay. (I mean, Shiver had a panic attack just from seeing a banana bunch. Had we brought plantains instead I think she would've passed out from shock.) Ay, ay, ay. (She made it pretty clear she's not going anywhere if she can help it. I don't think she'll take the idea of going outside all that well.)"
"Relax, I got this," Frye said with a smug grin and a waggle of her brow. She tapped a confident thumb to her chest. "People don't call me 'Sweet Talking Frye' for nothing. I've got a way with words."
"Ay, ay? (Really? I thought they called you 'Flip Flopping Frye'?)" Big Man teased, much to Frye's chagrin.
"S-shut up!" she snapped, flushing a bright pulsing yellow as she turned away in embarrassment. "I was seven when I made those dance videos!" she grumbled as she clambered back onto her feet. "Just get prepared to go out. I'll go talk to Shiver."
"Ay, ay, (If you say so,)" Big Man rolled his eyes.
Without so much as another word she wandered over to the kitchen to give Shiver the good news, leaving Big Man to his own devices as he buried his face back into the journals.
Mere moments after, the cringeworthy sound of a plate shattering upon the hardwood floor followed by Shiver's cacophonous hysterical screaming caused him to jump from his seat in fright, nearly giving up the ghost. He lost his grip on the book, it slipped from out of his fins, popping into the air where it hovered for just a second as he flailed his fins around wildly attempting to catch it.
By some minor miracle he had managed to catch the journal right on the very corner before it could clatter against the others and send them scattering along the floor. He let out a sigh of relief and set the book down just as Frye hobbled on back, looking quite frazzled about things. She sat back down beside him, letting out a long winded sigh as she did.
"...Um, yeah. So, as it turns out, Shiver wasn't very receptive to the idea of, and I quote, 'throwing myself into the gaping teeth filled maw of a cold uncaring world that would want nothing more than to eat me alive for my crimes.' Then she started spiraling again and I had to calm her down before she could summon Master Mega and wreak havoc on the household," Frye glumly explained.
"Ay, ay, ay, (Well, you can't say that you didn't try,)" Big Man assured her with a pat on the back. He then proceeded to take off his reading glasses and placed them back into the hidden compartment in his headdress. "Ay, ay- Ay? (What matters most is that we're still here for Shiver in spite of all these, admittedly, terrifying setbacks, and that- Wait, what are you doing with your flute?)"
Frye had pulled out her flute during the conversation, a look of stalwart determination overtaking her glumness. Reaching into her hat once more she pulled out a small glass bottle with a cork stopper on top, the contents of which looked to be a small collection of short wooden blow darts soaking in some sort of brackish fluid. They clinked gently against the glass as she uncorked the bottle, pulled out a dart and slipped it into the mouthpiece of her flute.
"Ay? (Frye?)" Big Man said worriedly, slowly raising his brow to emphasize his concern to Frye's disproportionate methods. "Ay, ay? (What are you doing?)"
"Giving Shiver some tough love," Frye responded as she readied her flute. "If she won't go out willingly, then it's our job to persuade her, one way or the other." She held up the dart in her hand. "These darts are soaked in just enough eel toxins to knock out the average Inkling, and then some. The tiniest prick should be enough to put Shiver to sleep and we can drag her into Splatsville for a night on the town."
"Ay, ay, (Frye, that's kidnapping,)" Big Man deadpanned, a glaring look of disapproval upon his visage.
"I personally prefer the term, affectionate assisted relocation. Besides, she could use the nap anyhow," Frye shot back with a mischievous smile on her face. "Now, on the count of three, be ready to catch her."
"Ay, ay- (Frye, I strongly believe you should reconsider thi-)" Big Man spoke hurriedly, only to be rudely cut off by Frye's subsequent exclamation.
"Three!" She bellowed, sucked in a lungful of air and blew hard into her flute, now a multifunctional blowgun.
The dart soared through the air with a soft fwip sound, aimed directly at Shiver's exposed neck. It looked as though the dart would find purchase soon enough, were it not for Shiver suddenly crouching down at the last second to pick up the pieces of the plate she broke earlier. The dart arced overhead, bounced against the cabinets, then off the nearby window and shelves before finally hitting its mark... Right between Big Man's eyes.
"A-ay, ay, (O-oh, would you look at that,)" Big Man chuckled nervously, going cross eyed looking at the dart sticking out of his face.
"Ooooh," Frye winced, sucking in a sharp breath. "That was a freak accident if I ever saw one. Uh... How're you holding up, Big Man?"
"Ay? Ay, ay, (Me? Oh, I'm gonna be just fine,)" Big Man replied with a mild slur to his voice as he yanked away the dart from his face and tossed it aside. "Ay, ay, ay. (We of the Manta clan have mastered the complex and deadly field of toxicology, to the point it has become an art form for us.) Ay, ay, aaaaaaaaaaay. (As a result, I am highly resistant to all forms of toxins and poisoooooooooons.)"
Like a marionette with its strings cut he suddenly lost control of his limbs and flopped down onto the table shortly after, conscious and twitchy but he could still be heard quietly chuckling to himself nonsensically as if he had just heard the funniest joke in his life and couldn't stop laughing. It would appear that the eel toxin had the same effect as nitrous oxide on him, causing his entire body to relax and unwind as a wave of euphoria washed over him like the waves on the beach.
"Aaaaaaaaay. (Aaaaaaaaay.)" Big Man slurred, a puddle of drool slowly forming by his head.
"Ooookay," Frye mumbled as she scooted away. "I'll, er, let you work through that while I go try again." Big Man mumbled some incoherent gibberish and weakly raised a fin to acknowledge her.
Leaving the table she quickly loaded another toxin laced dart into her flute and hid it behind her back as she wandered towards the kitchen once again. There, she spotted Shiver absentmindedly sweeping at the floors with an empty look in her eyes and that same creepy smile on her face, cleaning up any remaining shards of porcelain that remained. Cautiously, Frye approached her, making sure to speak as neutrally as possible to avoid setting her off again.
"Need some help?" Frye offered, slowly inching closer to Shiver.
"Oh! No, no, it's fine. Really, I can handle this," Shiver quickly replied, exhaustion laced in her voice. "Frye, you're my very special guest, you needn't worry yourself with my mess. It was my clumsiness that caused this. I'm so clumsy, just so, so clumsy. Heh heh..."
"Right..." Frye grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck with her free hand. She still wasn't used to Shiver acting so irrational and unhinged. Well, more so than her usual eccentric self, at least. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know how great of a host you've been and that even though you've decided to cast aside all remnants of your former life to become a mad hermit novelist living in quiet solitude, me and Big Man will always stick by you no matter what."
"Aw, I'm touched by your words. I'm glad you've found it within yourself to accept my life choices, Frye," Shiver's smile actually felt genuine for a moment before it returned to that eerie plastic appearance.
"Yup! Totally accepted it, one hundred percent!" Frye lied through her teeth, swallowing the lump in her throat soon after. "Anywho, Big Man and I have been reading through your novel and you should be glad to know that- Look out! Plantains!" She suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the space behind Shiver.
"Where?!" Shiver immediately spun on her heels in a frenzied panic, fearfully brandishing the broomstick at the nonexistent threat as if it were a spear.
Seeing her opportunity, Frye quickly raised the flute to her lips, took aim, and blew hard. The dart struck dead on at point blank range. Shiver let out a yelp of pain as the dart pricked the back of her neck. She shakily reached behind and removed it, her eyes wide and brimming with shock as she rapidly turned her gaze between the dart and Frye who stared back at her with guilt written all over her face.
"F-Frye, how could yo-..." Shiver trailed off wearily. Her vision blurred and the world around her became a streaky mess of dull colors and white noise as her consciousness slipped away. The alluring darkness of sleep clawing at the edge of her vision took over and her body gave way soon after. She fell forward into Frye's waiting arms, the broom falling over to the side with a noisy wooden clatter.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Frye cringed, gently cradling her friend's limp form as she looped her arm over her shoulders.. "If it were me that was going cuckoo in the coconut I'd know you would've done the same. Maybe, I dunno. But you were creeping us out something real bad so I had no choice but to give you the sleeper special. You looked like you needed it anyhow. It's a miracle you haven't collapsed yet. All the eel toxin did was give you that push in the right direction..."
She continued speaking her mind to no one in particular as she made her way over to Big Man with Shiver in tow, it was more a way to assuage her guilt than anything. Sure, she was determined about kidnapping Shiver, that didn't make actually doing the deed any easier. But she was a firm believer that desperate times called for desperate measures. And if breaching the sacred bond of trust by doping your best friend with near dangerous levels eel toxin in their home in broad daylight was what it was going to take to mend the issue, she'd gladly do it as many times as she needed to.
By the time she made it back to the living room, Big Man had managed to work out some of the toxins out of his systems and was able to move again. Though judging by his dilated pupil and dopey grin plastered on his face he was still feeling pretty groovy.
"Alright. Shiver's asleep. Now all we gotta do is drag her to Splatsville for a day of fun and excitement," said Frye, making sure Shiver was in a comfortable position even as she was being dragged around like a lifeless mannequin. "She'll thank us for this, and one day we're all gonna look back on this moment and laugh. Are you ready to do this, Big Man?"
Big Man remained oblivious to Frye's words. All he did was stare at his fins with avid curiosity. He was entranced by them, like a newborn seeing the world for the very first time. "Ay, ay. (I just realized something mind blowing.) Ay, ay. (Fin means end.) Ay, ay. (My fins are at the end of my body.)" He turned to face Frye as an expression of enlightenment steadily grew across his face. He looked as though he had just cracked the code of the universe. "Ay, ay. (Life is beautiful.)"
Frye knitted her brow at the curious sight. It looks like it'll take a bit more time for the eel toxin to wear off for Big Man. She let out a deep sigh and carefully set Shiver down beside the chabudai, patting her on the head as she pulled out her phone. "I better call us a cab." She mumbled. "I should probably post an update for the others as well..."
- TheE3lDeal: "Got an idea. Gonna take Shiver out."
...
- TheE3lDeal: "I mean Im gonna take her out to the city so we can have some fun."