The clamor of Splatsville and volume of midday shoppers pushing and shoving their way through its stuffy streets had slowly begun to reach its peak as Tres, Quattro, and Sheldon shuffled their way through to the other shops down the lane.
Sheldon led from the front, marching on with swagger in his step as the other two trudged on behind him, still recovering from the brief but painful thrashing they just received at the hands of Gigantiana moments prior.
"I think some feeling is coming back to my arm," Quattro muttered, rolling his shoulders. He continued to flex and stretch out his arm, working out the feeling of soreness that ran along the length of his extremity. "This is starting to become an annoying trend," he grumbled, shooting a look over to Sheldon. "Sheldon, where did you even find this chick anyway?"
"Oh, Gigantiana? Well, she came to me," Sheldon replied without missing a beat. Quattro and Tres exchanged a look with one another.
"...Care to elaborate?" Tres inquired.
"Eh, there's really not much to talk about," Sheldon tapped on his chin. "You see, switching from accepting cash to licenses pretty much made it a guarantee that the locals will buy from Ammo Knights, even those who staunchly adhere to native customs. After a while, however, I figured out that I needed something more. Pushing the envelope as they say. I needed to hire on a new employee. Preferably a friendly local to help me solidify Ammo Knight's place in Splatsville amid the competition.
So I put out a job listing on social media and lo and behold Gigantiana was the first one to show up... Okay, so she was the only one that showed up but that's beside the point. Imagine my surprise when I turned around from my seat after seeing the sun get blotted out only to find Gigantiana standing over me with a resume in her hand and a gleaming smile on her face.
Anywho, the interview went great. We chatted for a spell and got to know each other a little better. She had a great resume and in spite of a lack of experience possessed a passion towards weaponsmithing that I couldn't help but admire. She expressed a desire to undertake an apprenticeship with me and, well, how could I refuse? I took her on as my trainee shortly after and ever since she's been an absolute joy to work with.
And it would seem that my customers feel the same way I do, because potential buyers have been flooding in from all four corners of the Splatlands just to see her! Sales have gone up exponentially than when I was working by my lonesome, and so has her customer service rating. Her people skills must be second to none if she can keep drawing in customers like this."
"Er, yeah. That's definitely it," Quattro grinned sheepishly. The obvious ample and supple nature of Gigantiana's popularity was not lost on him, nor the gaggle of hormonally charged boys and girls lining up to see her. "After all, she's got great big..." he held up both his hands in a suggestive cupping gesture for greater emphasis. "...Levels of patience."
"Truly, Gigantiana has a very notable and impressive... ability to listen and expertly cater to the customers wants and needs," Tres snickered, hiding a smirk behind his hands.
"You could certainly say that again!" Sheldon beamed with pride. "She's gonna go far in the business, I can feel it in my shell."
"I'm sure you're feeling something if Gigantiana is hovering next to you at work all the time," Quattro deadpanned. "Anywho, what's next on our slapdash itinerary?"
"Naut Couture, down by the intersection," said Tres. The team kept up their pace as they continued marching towards the local hat shop.
The team entered Naut Couture, a humble but popular hole in the wall hat shop that oozes with a chill vibe and rustic decor. Their presence was brought to the proprietors' attention by the sound of a jingly jangly bell overhead. Gnarly Eddy, Splatsville's very own totally bodacious nautilus, and his hip and happening boss, Nails the sea snail, greeted their fellow invertebrates and potential customers with all the enthusiasm that they were known for.
"Hey, hey, hey! Everybody make way, the Shellman is in the house!" Nails bellowed loudly for a snail his size as he hopped up from his stool in a jolt of palpable excitement.
"Sup, Shellman," Eddy greeted amicably with a slow wave of his tendril. "Welcome to Naut Couture fellas. Where our motto is: Don't kid-"
"-Getcha self a lid!" Nails finished reciting their motto excitably, hopping up and down, his miniscule hat twirling along the tip of his shell as he did. "What can we do ya for, Shellman?"
Tres and Quattro both turned to give Sheldon a weird look, the latter spoke up, "Shellman?"
"Eh heh, it's the, er, nickname they gave me," Sheldon chuckled in response, his cheeks dusted with a rosy pink. "Eddy, Nails!" he greeted back, equally as jovial as they exchanged pleasantries between one another. "I'm here with some close associates of mine on a little jaunt throughout the city. I'm sure you've seen them around before." He gestured over to the inklings, who flashed them a friendly wave in return. "We're actually here to ask you some questions."
"Is it about hats? Because we know a lot about hats." Eddy drawled. He gestured over the large wall of, you guessed it, hats, helmets and other assorted headgear that is their speciality. "That reminds me, we got a 'buy one get the other one half off' sale on all Annaki brand hats going on today if you're interested in looking extra fresh today. We've been selling berets and more like hotcakes all morning so get 'em while ya can."
"Nice sales pitch but our line of inquiry is less hat related and more about the rumor mill," Quattro replied coolly.
"Ah, you wanna know what people have been talking about behind the scenes?" Nails rocked his body to shift his sunglasses, revealing a single black dot of an eye and a raised brow. "Since you're tight with the Shellman we'll be glad to tell you what we know, so lay it on us, chummer. We pick up on lots of interesting gossip that fly around Splatsville. Hashtag, in-the-know! Hashtag, well-informed!"
"Well, that music to my ears," Tres hummed, folding his arms. "I'll get right down to it then. Have you two heard anything about this suckling thing? That one idol from Deep Cut, Shiver, was involved in it. It's been all over social media lately. If you know anything, anything at all, we'd greatly appreciate it."
"A suckling?" replied Eddy, looking in deep thought. "Huh, I think I heard from a guy who heard it from his best friend who heard it from his sister's cousin twice removed who read somewhere that it was some kind of new snack food. And now I've got the munchies just talking about it."
"Wow! What a coincidence. I thought it was food too!" Sheldon guffawed.
"My man! Slap me some skin!" Eddy raised his tendril and the two shared a high five. A loud thwack echoed across the air as their extremities collided with one another in an excellent display of camaraderie.
"Oookay," Tres looked perplexed before turning over to nails. "What about you, Nails? Heard anything through the grapevine?"
"Hmm..." Nails looked deep in thought for a moment, racking his brain for anything worth telling. "This morning a couple of Octo gals might've said something about it in Octarian during their hat shopping. Now, my linguistic skills are a bit rusty but I did manage to pick up on words like 'dishonor' and 'partner' and 'pineapples.' Or maybe it was 'pumpkins?' I'unno." He shrugged as well as a sea snail with no arms could. "S'all I could recall. Sorry, mate."
"It's alright," Tres mumbled, slouching his shoulders. "Our expectations weren't exactly high to begin with. But every little bit helps." Reaching over to Quattro, he pulled him close and turned the both of them around where they began discussing their recent findings amongst themselves. "It's slim pickings again, but it's better than nothing. What are your thoughts?"
"Hmm, dishonor, partner, pineapples or maybe pumpkins..." Quattro mused, bringing a hand to his chin. "Sounds like total gibberish. With our luck it could mean everything or nothing. Even in context we don't nearly have enough information to deduce the true nature of the suckling, let alone a way to reverse it, if at all. I think it's time we moved on to another shop."
"I was thinking the same thing," Tres nodded as he gestured for Sheldon to follow. "Come on, Sheldon. We're gonna hit up another shop-"
"WAIT!" Eddy suddenly shouts as though he had been struck with a great revelation. His outburst startled everyone, causing a few patrons nearby to instinctively morph into their swim form out of fright and for Sheldon to hastily retreat into his shell. There was a brief pause that left everyone on edge. Tres was the first to snap out of his stupor and react to Eddy.
"What? What!?" he yelled back, grabbing Eddy by his shoulders. "Come on, out with it!"
"...You guys wanna buy some hats?" said Eddy nonchalantly.
Tres adjusted the new pair of Annaki brand welding goggles he had just purchased from Naut Couture; he'd needed one for some time now. His old welding mask was too bulky for precise work in tight spaces. Beside him, Quattro wore a colorful wide brimmed sombrero adorned with wooden beads dangling around the rim, he had bought it with the express purpose of beating the Splatland heat, while Sheldon had a classy fuzzy maroon fez sitting atop his shell.
"Well, that was a bust," Tres sighed, dragging his heels with each step.
"At least we didn't leave empty handed. Nails did give us something, even if it was just crumbs of the whole pie," Quattro casually remarked, relishing in the coolness of the shade his oversized hat provided. "And we managed to get a pick of some fresh swag."
"...I suppose we did make some progress. Not a whole lot but I guess I shouldn't be complaining about it," Tres murmured but kept his spirits up. "Anywho, we should head over to the next shop down the line: Man-O-Wardrobe. Jel La Fleur, the jellyfish who runs the place, has been known to cater to high class clientele on the side, and we all know how gossipy snooty upper crust rich folks can be. Maybe we'll have better luck with him."
"Isn't he that snobby jellyfish?" Quattro frowned. "His clothing may be fresh but that guy won't let anyone try them on before they buy it, and they're pricey to boot. I don't know how he stays in business with that uppity attitude of his."
"From my time spent conversing with him I've learned he's quite the dilettante and is considered a pillar of the community by his peers. People have a great deal of respect for him, it would seem," Sheldon commented.
"I'm sorry, he's a what now?" Tres looked bemused.
"Dilettante," Quattro rolled his eyes. "It means he spends lots of money supporting the arts, even if he himself has a very superficial appreciation for it."
"So he's a wannabe art snob too, got it," Tres chortled.
"He may be a hip and happening jellyfish with a strong fashion sense and all the latest swag on sale but I wouldn't trust him to speak on the intricate complexities of early Inkling cubist art," Quattro continued.
"Hey, If we're being completely honest I'd trust him more on that topic than the two of you guys," Sheldon zinged, earning him a brief look of incredulity from Quattro and a roar of laughter from Tres and Little Buddy.
"Regardless of our woeful lack of knowledge in the arts," Tres sputtered between breaths, "his shop should just be just around the bend..."
Man-O-Wardrobe's aesthetic was a far cry from Naut Couture. While the latter was rustic and warm, bringing to mind the image of humble mom and pop shops that were frequent in the inner city, the former was more avant-garde and cool, looking more like a fashion runway than an actual store.
Bizarre shapes both geometric and organic slapped together into some semi-coherent architecture formed the overall interior of the store. Bright lamps behind smoked glass illuminated everything in a dazzling blue light that accentuated the clothing on display. There was certainly a dizzying, otherworldly appeal to Man-O-Wardrobe, and the shoppers browsing the new fashion line were equally as alien looking with their strange garbs and diverse anatomy.
Tres, Quattro and Sheldon stuck out like a sore thumb as they walked on over to question Jel La Fleur, a fashionable jellyfish wearing black robes, matching colored cap and a pair of small nose resting reading glasses (how do those stay on?) who maintained an unflappable air of professionalism around him as he oversaw his establishment. As they would quickly learn, he was someone who could multitask.
"Don't touch that," Jel La Fleur repeated for the fifth time as he casually slapped away Quattro's hand with his long tendril, his attention firmly on Tres and Sheldon.
"But I just wanna- Gah!" Quattro attempted to protest, reaching over to the t-shirt on sale only to receive another slap from the jellyfish. He reeled his hand back, rubbing at it to soothe the red welt forming on the back.
"Don't touch that," he repeats, never once raising his voice or even expressing the barest hint of annoyance. Judging by his cool as a cucumber demeanor he was used to this type of thing. And evidently so were his regulars. "Anywho, what may I, Jel La Fleur, do for you and your quality capped carapace, Shellman?"
Quattro and Tres both shot Sheldon the same weird look from the before, their expression silently expressing 'again?'
Bashfully, Sheldon shrugged off the looks his peers were sending his way and greeted Jel La Fleur. "Hey, Jel. Apologies, we're not actually here to buy anything, just got a few questions we'd hope you could answer for us."
"Come now, Shellman. Apologies aren't necessary. Your company, however brief, is patronage enough," Jel La Fleur looked pleased as he idly stretched out his tendril again to slap at Quattro, who wanted to try out a faux leather jacket. "Don't touch that."
"Oh, come on!" Quattro exclaimed.
"Now that I got that out of the way, what was it that you wanted to ask?" Jel La Fleur queried.
"I'm actually the one with the question," Tres piped up. "Have you heard anything about this suckling thing from your customers? Maybe a passing comment here and there. It's all people have been talking about ever since Shiver lost it on set yesterday."
"Ah, yes. The idol's meltdown. Quite the sensation if I do say so myself," Jel La Fleur hummed, looking rather thoughtful. "I recall having a customer tearfully lament to me earlier in the day about how her favorite idol 'betrayed the community' or some such by this suckling you mentioned."
"Was she an Octoling?" Tres raised a brow, his interests piqued.
"Unless Inklings have suddenly lost the mark between their eyes and evolved outward facing suckers on their tentacles recently that I am unaware of, yes, she was indeed an Octoling- Don't touch that."
"Your back is turned, how did you even see me!?" Quattro shouted.
"Ahem," Jel La Fleur cleared his voice. "Continuing from where I left off, the girl in question was going on and on about how Shiver did something so heinous and vile it made her want to do some stress shopping."
"Did this gal explain what was so heinous and vile about the suckling that made her wanna spend so much?" Tres asked.
"She didn't elaborate as she was so distraught about it. She did, however, clear out my entire stock of Enperry brand blouses as a way of coping with her distress. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."
"I didn't expect you to," Tres deadpanned. "Is there anything else?"
"Unfortunately, no. Everything else has been par the course since your arrival, news and all. Unless you are the type to indulge in tasteless and gauche gossip," Jel La Fleur offered.
Tres sighed heavily. "No, I think we're good. Thanks anyway."
"Anytime. Any friend of the Shellman is a friend of mine- Don't touch that."
"I was just looking at it!" Quattro yelled in exasperation.
"But you were thinking about touching it," Jel La Fleur rebuked coolly.
"So, it's another investigative dead end for us," said Sheldon. "Time to move on then. Thanks for the help, Jel."
"Of course," Jel La Fleur tipped his cap with a graceful flourish. "Jel La Fleur is always there to help a friend or potential customer in need. That is the Man-O-Wardrobe creed... So long as you follow the rules of the store." The comment wasn't directed at Quattro specifically, but it sure felt like it. Quattro could only shoot the jellyfish an irritated look in return.
"Better head on over to the next shop then," said Tres as she turned on his heel to leave with the gang. "Catch you on the flip side, Jel La Fleur."
"See ya later!" Sheldon bid farewell as he trailed behind Tres and a quietly fuming Quattro.
"Don't be strangers now," Jel La Fleur waved them off.
The next shop down the list on their little escapade was Crush-Station, runned by the humble Mr. Coco, an absolutely yoked coconut crab dressed in a logo printed white tank top, cargo shorts, black ball cap and five different pairs of shoes.
Crush-Station, for a store that primarily sold shoes, had this air of old sophistication to it. Between the old fashioned furnishings, traditional decor and bright technicolor neon signs the store felt like an odd cross between a cushy downtown tea parlor and smoke filled game lounge, minus the noise of either. In the quiet serenity of the shop, the gang strode up to Mr. Coco, who couldn't have been any happier to see Sheldon.
"Well, look who it is. If it isn't my brother from another crustacean, the Shellman! Come on, bring it in!" Mr. Coco cheered, reaching over with his prodigious chitinous claws and pulled the teeny tiny Sheldon into a tight hug. Sheldon squeaked like a chew toy as he was brought into Mr. Coco's embrace, and could only give the crab a strained smile and weak pat on the back in return as he had his fragile soul crushed out of intense friendliness.
"Gack! I-it's good to see you too, Coco. I see you haven't shirk on your workout regiment," Sheldon wheezed before being gently let down wherein he began greedily sucking in air as if the atmosphere would dissipate in the very next moment. Tres, Quattro and Little Buddy all chuckled at the scene, their hands and fins brought up to the mouths to stifle the sound.
"Now you know how we felt," Quattro couldn't help but quip.
"Well, now that I've gotten that out of the way, what can Mr. Coco do for you guys? Interested in some fresh new pumped up kicks?" asked Mr. Coco, gesturing to his wide selection of quality merchandise. "We got the newest summer selection in stock."
"Can they help us outrun guns?" Quattro queried, finding the offer intriguing.
"The Rockenbergs do," replied Mr. Coco, presenting a pair of stylish moto boots. They shined with an audible ding sound.
"Oooh. How much?"
"Quattro," Tres harrumphed, raising his brow.
"Relax, rookie. I was about to get to that soon," Quattro flashed the group a cheeky grin.
"What he means to say is that we're here to ask questions as much as we are here to support your business," Sheldon explained, having recovered from his harrowing experience. "I've known you to be quite an observant fellow, Coco. We were wondering if you picked up on anything from your customers recently about current events."
"I'm surprised, Shellman. Didn't take you to be the type for gossip," replied Mr. Coco.
"I'm really not," Sheldon chuckled sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head. "Look, it's not like we want to go around bugging people about this, but there's a reason for it. Just trust me on this, Coco. I wouldn't be asking if it weren't for something bigger than me."
"Well, if that's the case I wouldn't be afraid to share a little about what I've heard through the grapevine," Mr. Coco nodded along, finding no issue with their request. "So, what do y'all wanna know about?"
"Mr. Coco, have you heard anything about this suckling thing?" Quattro asked. "It's kinda been all over the news. Well, sorta. That idol from Deep Cut, Shiver, lost her marbles on stream and it's apparently to blame. We've tried looking into it but information about the suckling has been quite lean."
"Oh, that? I thought it was like a snack food or something," replied Mr. Coco, looking quite bemused at the thought. "Sounded like one."
"What are the odds, so did I!" Sheldon guffawed.
"Ha! That's my brother from another crustacean for you!" Mr. Coco gave Sheldon a powerful pat on the back as he bellowed jovially alongside his friend.
"That's two for two on snack foods," Tres quipped as Little Buddy chuckled beside him. "There's certainly a commonality to all this," he commented dryly.
"Forgetting the snack food thing for a moment," Quattro groaned in exasperation, "is there anything more substantial that you could tell us about the suckling that doesn't allude it to cheap foodstuffs?"
"Er, I think I heard some Octoling boy talk about it with his buddies when they were trying out shoes," said Mr. Coco.
"Okay, that's better. Did you hear what they were saying about the suckling?" Quattro raised a brow.
"Only about how they didn't expect Shiver to be 'that kind of girl' and that they hoped whoever she did it to is recovering from the traumatic experience," Mr. Coco explained.
Tres involuntarily cringed at the mention. He didn't think what Shiver did to him was that bad, in fact, everyone outside of Marina and 8 thought it was purely innocent even at the worst of circumstances. Sure it felt funny, but since when has having tentacle suckers clinging to your skin not felt anything but ticklish? Apparently every other Octoling and their grandma thought otherwise, treating it as though Shiver had maliciously violated his rights as a person.
Perhaps that is something worth thinking about? Maybe that's the cornerstone of all this.
"Everything after was in Octarian so I couldn't understand. I haven't heard much about it since. Hope that helps," Mr. Coco concluded.
"More than you think it would," Quattro flashed a half-hearted smile.
"Glad to have helped!" He cheered, tapping his claws together in a clickety clackety clap. "Now, about those boots. Will you be paying in cash or card?"
Hotlantis was the last shop to stop by on their less-than-stellar investigative journey across the city.
Splatsville's very own mega popular general store wasn't hard to miss; the place was as subtle as a cinder block to the face. Characterized by loud fluorescent colors, a moe atmosphere that clicked with the younger generation and racks upon racks of wacky off-the-wall merchandise (sometimes quite literally in that regard), it was the hippest and hottest place for all your needs, whatever they may be.
However, the most notable aspect of Hotlantis that people come for, apart from buying inordinately priced goods of dubious nature (seriously, why are these things so friggin' expensive?), was the fact that Harmony, lead singer of the famed chiptune band, Chirpy Chirps, headed the register... for some reason.
As Tres, Quattro, Sheldon and Little buddy enter Hotlantis, their gaze is immediately drawn to all the various knick knacks, baubles and oddities that line the shelves of the store. From things as mundane as a plain wooden crate to collectible figurines of a beloved cartoon mascot and random office supplies, their overall stock of products really emphasized the 'general' in 'general store.' There were walls full of pins, inflatable toys hanging from the ceiling, several gacha machines and even a tabletop arcade in the center.
An overbearing pine scent wafting off the multitude of air fresheners on the display table made it feel as if they got an evergreen branch shoved way up their sinuses. Squid Squad's Metalopod was softly playing overhead through a series of old scratchy sounding speakers that were daisy-chained together along the ceiling, the cables of which had bright LED lights haphazardly interwoven together for that extra bit of flair.
"Is that... Is that who I think it is?" Quattro whispered bemusingly to the gang, pointing over the anthropomorphic anemone girl with the glazed over look in her half-lidded eyes staring blankly into space. She wore a colorful ensemble consisting of a ballcap, t-shirt, shorts and puffy chromatic high tops. A small black fish with a single white stripe lazily orbited her head, swimming along some unseen current by the protection of her stinging pastel colored hairs.
"If you mean Harmony, then yes. Yes it is," Sheldon replied nonchalantly.
"What- Why are you acting so casually about this? That's Harmony! You know? The super big chiptune artist!" Quattro reiterated, his tone laced with bafflement.
"And she's worked at Hotlantis for a while now. I don't know what the big deal is. I see her almost every week when I shop for parts and other miscellaneous junk around here," replied Tres, equally as nonchalant as Little Buddy nodded along in his knapsack. "What's got your undies in a bunch, gyuppie?"
"I-What- Are you both pulling my leg? Why is the lead singer of Chirpy Chirps here of all places?!" Quattro exclaimed exasperatedly. "Shouldn't she be back out in Inkopolis with the rest of her bandmates working on the next album instead of hanging around in this glorified gift shop half way across the globe?!"
"I'unno," Sheldon shrugged. "Why don't we ask her what's up?" And then he did just that. He strode up to the counter with his friends in tow and casually greeted Harmony. "Hiya, Harmony! What's-" he paused mid-sentence and quickly pulled out a small pocket book from one of his many vest pockets; it was a detailed guide to urban slang, the travel edition to be precise. "-good... in... the... hood?" he read with squinted eyes, enunciating slowly to ensure he got the point across.
Harmony replied to the greeting, though it was a delayed response as she was finally coming down from her bizarre trance. "Oh... Hey, Shu-Shu," she drawled, wiping away the spit trailing down the corner of her mouth. "Nothing much... Business is slow."
The fish swimming beside her bellowed excitedly in greeting as well, "Wassup, fellas!"
"Hey, Barry," Sheldon waved at the jovial fish.
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on," Quattro interrupted, getting between the two. "I can get your connections with the other shopkeepers and everything, but how are you so chummy with Harmony, Sheldon? Not just on a first name basis, but cutesy nicknames too. What's the story here?"
"Oh, we've known each other since high school, she's a close friend of mine," Sheldon replied as he put away his pocket book and pulled out his wallet. He flipped out a series of old photographs during his halcyon days as a spunky (if dangerously nerdy) teenage horseshoe crab, many of which depicted him standing alongside other people, including Harmony.
"This one here is us winning first place in the regional mathlete competition." He pointed to one of the photographs. He was wearing suspenders, a white dress shirt and red bow tie. Next to him stood Harmony with a blank expression on her face, she was dressed in a pair of distressed denim shorts and wrinkly black t-shirt with the collar so stretched out it was hanging loosely off one of her shoulders. They were holding up a big golden trophy in triumph.
"This is us in the junior archeologists club." He pointed to another photo. This time Sheldon was wearing a pith helmet and a classical explorers uniform. Harmony stood beside him blank-faced as ever, wearing the same thing as in the previous picture albeit with a matching pith helmet. They had just uncovered an ancient rectangular tablet adorned with knobs and arrows widely believed to be used as a means of entertainment by a long extinct civilization.
"And this is us on prom night." Sheldon pointed at the bottommost picture in his wallet. In it he wore a snappy white tuxedo with a clean pressed black bow tie. Standing next to him by the punch bowl was, surprise, surprise, Harmony, still dressed in the same pair of denim shorts and wrinkly black t-shirt as all the other photographs, only this time she had several glow sticks hanging around her neck and shutter shades over her eyes.
"That was a fun night," Harmony commented dryly. "Shu-Shu can be a real party animal."
"Heh, I didn't know you two used to be an item," Tres remarked, earning a hearty laugh from Sheldon.
"Oh, no. We weren't a couple," Sheldon explained, blushing red as a tomato. "See, I couldn't get a date for the prom and neither did Harmony so we just kinda hung out together by the punch bowl for the rest of the night. Talked about our dreams for the future and had a good time amongst ourselves."
"Wow, that's... kinda cute," Quattro quipped. "In the years I've known you, Sheldon, how am I just hearing about all this now?"
"Well, that's because you never ask," Sheldon replied as a matter o'factly. Quattro raised a hand to protest but quickly realized that it was indeed true. He had never inquired about Sheldon's personal life at all in the time they've worked together, and as luck would have it the topic had never come up in conversation at all up until this point. Not once has the thought even crossed his mind.
"Alright, you got me there," Quattro conceded.
"Soooo... You guys gonna buy something or are you just gonna stand there all day?" Harmony piped up, snapping the others back to attention.
"About that. We're actually here to ask you some questions, provided you'd be willing?" said Tres, laying an elbow down on the counter.
"If you're friends with Sheldon, then I guess I could..." She mutters noncommittally.
"Good!" Quattro clapped his hands together. "First question: what's a celebrity artist like you doing working in a place like this?"
"Uh... I don't understand the question," Harmony answered.
"Do you..." Quattro's eyes darted left and right awkwardly. "Do you work here?"
"...I do?" She answered half-heartedly, looking down on the counter and tapping a few keys on the register, causing the cash tray to open and shut itself repeatedly with a grating ding sound each time. All the while she stared at the machine with a strange sense of serendipity twinkling in her eyes. "Since I'm in charge of the register I'm pretty sure I do. Yeah... Yeah, I do work here."
"Employee of the month, baby!" Barry cheered.
"Er..." Quattro took an unconscious step back, coughing in his hands. "Maybe we should change the subject."
"I guess that's where I come in," Tres snorted before turning to face Harmony. "Harmony, you've rubbed elbows with the best of them, so I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Do you know anything about this suckling thing that's been circulating the rumor mill?"
"Oh, that? Yeah I know all about it," Harmony responded without missing a beat, causing everyone to perk up immediately.
"Wha- Really?" Tres looked gobsmacked as Little Buddy gasped dramatically beside him. "Well, don't keep us in the dark. What's it all about?"
"Apparently it's the newest snack on the market. All the squiddos are clamoring for it. We got a fresh box this morning. It should be in the candy aisle," she hummed, eyes already glued to her sea cucumber phone as she lazily gestured to some corner of the store out of her periphery.
The gang exchanged confused looks with each other before shuffling on over to the candy aisle. Between the fish shaped gummies, sour sprays and saltwater taffy was a box full of brand new 'suckling' lollipop candies. It came in a wide selection of fruity flavors and promised a different surprise candy filling in the center of each one.
"Uh... This wasn't exactly what we had in mind," Tres muttered disappointedly, twirling one of the lollipops between his fingers.
"Well, that's all the sucklings I got in stock, unless you want to check out the rest of the store to see if there's anything like a suckling there," Harmony suggested in a mumbly tone of voice. "We probably do have a suckling in stock. I don't know what it looks like but it's probably there, somewhere, like waaaaay in the back or something."
"Harmony, I highly doubt what we're looking for is an actual physical obje- Urk! Wha- A hundred thousand for a super snail replica?!" Quattro exclaimed, outraged at the absurd pricing model of the goods on sale. "And it's not even a good replica at that, I can see the paint chipping off that flimsy plastic body! What morons would actually pay for this garbage?!"
"Well, you Inklings and Octolings seem to buy every little thing I have on display each and every day without question, so you tell me," Harmony zinged back unenthusiastically, eyes still glued to her phone.
"...I don't have to stand for this!" Quattro angrily retorted, his expression one of raging indignation. "Come on, guys. I think it's time we take our leave." He began stomping away towards the exit to punctuate his displeasure... only to find himself helplessly drawn to the allure of assorted paraphernalia upon the shelves. Most of them were paperweights at best and outright garbage at worst, as in actual garbage. But a part of him had to have it.
He tried his best to ignore them, but the sparkles, the shine, the scent of cheap craft glue and earthy balsa wood. It called to him like a siren's song, melodious and seductive. Oh, how it was like sweet poison being whispered into his ear. The animal portion of his Inkling brain betrayed his cool rationale, fighting for control of his body, deviously nudging him along to give into the temptation.
And then he saw it. There was a vintage action figure on the shelf, a dusty old collectible from a television show that aired during his youth. He'd always wanted the toy but couldn't afford it way back when.
Now, however, It was as if the stars had aligned in his favor...
"...M-maybe one thing wouldn't be so bad," Quattro swallowed thickly. Beside him, Tres, Sheldon and Little Buddy could only look on at him in pity. It was never easy fighting your animal urges and they hold no ill will towards him for giving into his impulses.
"Hmm, they all say that," Harmony mumbled.
Tres tossed a piece of cooked shrimp into the air as Little Buddy leapt up and snapped it up whole, landing with a wet plop on the floor where he began chewing with vivid delight.
The gang had elected to take a brief lunch break at the battle tower to rest up after their investigation had turned up little evidence as to what the suckling might be. They gathered by the common area in the locker room after picking up some food at the cantina by the training room.
Tres idly picked at his garlic shrimp scampi with his fork, occasionally flicking one of the shrimps over to Little Buddy to sate his ravenous hunger. He would slurp up some pasta at odd intervals, but it was clear in between feeding Little Buddy and himself that his mind was elsewhere. His thoughts kept shifting over to his crummy phone by the plate and to Shiver herself. There hadn't been any updates from Frye since the last post, it had been hours. He couldn't stop worrying about her, and their lack of progress didn't help his anxiety.
The sudden sound of a locker slamming shut snapped him out of his funk. He turned to see Sheldon and Quattro walking over to the table, having put away their newly acquired clothes. They immediately seated themselves beside him and began chowing down; a lobster po' boy for Quattro and fish tacos for Sheldon. As they all ate, Quattro brought up Tres's visible apprehension.
"You keep looking at your phone," Quattro muttered with his mouth full.
"Have I?" Tres frowned at the comment, setting his fork down. "Frye hasn't updated her progress yet."
"I'm sure she will soon," Quattro assured before taking another bite out of his sandwich. "I wouldn't hold my breath, though. She and Big Man got her hands full with their best friend on the fast track to Loopyville, population: Shiver. Besides, we need to focus on our own investigation."
"How is it going by the way?" Tres inquired, turning over to Sheldon.
"Well, if I'm reading our notes correctly..." Sheldon paused to snack on a fry. "A lot of it is unintelligible nonsense. At least, from an outsider's point of view. Everything here only seems to reinforce what we already know about the suckling, that it's a really, really bad thing between Octolings."
"So, we're pretty much back at square one," Tres sighed heavily.
"Feels like we never left if you ask me..." Quattro grumbled sullenly. "So much for those loose lips."
"Guys, I think it's time we shift gears," Tres suggested. "We're clearly going nowhere, so that means it's time for us to go to plan B. We gotta talk to the other Octarians directly."
"Uuuugh, I was afraid you were gonna say that," Quattro groaned, plopping his forehead onto the table. "I got a bad feeling about this. You know how violently Gigantiana reacted to us talking about it, and she was being civil about it because we knew Sheldon. I shudder to imagine what Splatlander-"
"Splatlandian," Tres hastily corrected.
"-Octarians would do compared to her."
"We don't have any other options. It's either potentially get our butts painfully kicked repeatedly a thousand times over by mobs of fiercely hostile Octarians for even the slightest chance of receiving a clue about the suckling or going back to the safety and comfort of Pearl's luxurious mansion empty handed- You know, now that I say it aloud I can see where you're coming from," Tres blinked.
"But you're still gonna go through with plan B anyway?" Quattro raised his brow.
"I..." Tres paused, feeling his chest tighten as images of Shiver's smiling visage flashed through his mind. He made a promise to Shiver and he's not a squid who'd go back on his word. "What kind of agents would we be if we backed down?"
Quattro merely stared at Tres for a few seconds before letting out a long winded sigh. "...Ah, what the heck. We're gonna rotate after this anyway, so we might as well finish strong." He shrugged, his apprehension fading and being replaced with a measure of heroic resolve. "Besides, someone's gotta be there to pull you out when you ultimately find yourself in the frying pan, rookie. You're a glutton for punishment, you know that?"
"Heh, glad I can count on you to have my back," Tres chuckled.
"Aw... See, that's the kind of camaraderie that makes the New Squidbeak Splatoon great," Sheldon added as he gobbled down one of his tacos. "I'm glad I tagged along."
"Oh, don't act like you didn't contribute anything. You've actually been a big help so far, Sheldon," said Quattro. "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant, Shellman." Everyone had a good laugh at the mention. They came down shortly after, finishing up their meals before setting off for the second half of their investigation: the half that will likely involve physical violence.
As they walked, Quattro couldn't help but speak his mind, "Eh, still can't believe we got the short end of the stick. I bet Kuki and 8 are having an exciting adventure down in Alterna even as we speak..."
Alterna Depths
That same moment...
Kuki braced herself against an overturned desk as a pair of heavy splatling turrets at the end of the hallway kept her pinned down, sending a seemingly unending salvo of lethal ink down her way. She looked down at herself, grimacing at the ink blots staining her skin and outfit. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she could feel the adrenaline rush through her veins, making her hearts hammer wildly within her chest.
The situation wasn't looking good, and if she didn't act fast she and 8 might as well kiss their butts goodbye.
"Kuki!" 8 shouted from the cubicle opposite from her, clutching desperately at the gaping wound on his left shoulder as sprays of ink washed over his position. Usually so calm and composed, his expression was one of complete and utter terror as his cover was slowly being chipped away into nothingness by the onslaught of ink. "Just apologize to O.R.C.A.! Tell him you didn't mean to call him a soulless calculator!"
"Never!" Kuki screamed defiantly, gripping onto her hero charger so tightly her knuckles turned white. "I will never apologize to that soulless calculator!" She looked up over the desk and shouted, "You hear me, O.R.C.A.! Do your worst!"
"Launching seeker bombs," O.R.C.A.'s synthesized voice coldly uttered as several vents opened up along the length of the hallway with a bone chilling hiss noise. A small fleet of boat shaped bombs then proceeded to sail forth from out of them, leaving behind a trail of purple ink in their wake as they swiftly converged on Kuki and 8's position.
"Oh, crabcakes..." Kuki deadpanned just a series of explosions violently rocked the underground.
A/N: Happy Sizzle Season everyone. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.