"PHEW! Alright, and with that, all bots are rebuilt and accounted for!"

Another all-nighter spent repairing my pride and joys.

While it was tense/awkward using Drain Touch on one of my official new friends while she and the others crashed down in my lair, it did make getting Sigma Squad and B0B's BuilderBot crew back online much easier. What a shock, not having to sneak upstairs and tiptoe into your main power source's room every five minutes saves time on repairs, I know. Only thing that sucks about our current sleeping setup was that I couldn't have my music blaring while I work. Apparently, that was simply "too much" for an otherwise heavy sleeper like Aqua.

Oh well, once we trade in Keele's crap for some money, we can probably afford some new beds for their rooms again anyway. No biggie.

"Great, you must be really proud of all your hard work," Aqua grumbled nearby, having not gotten nearly as much sleep as she probably should've last night, especially with my Drain Touch influencing her. "Now can we please sell Keele's stuff and go get something to eat? I'm starving, and I don't have the energy to use your stupid junk food processor."

With Megumin and Darkness nodding in mutual agreement, I relented. "Yeah, I guess I could go for some food that isn't chocolate for once anyway. Alright, lemme go grab the booty and we'll be on our way."

Grabbing the loot sack on our way up, we did exactly that. A few minutes later and we were already in the thicket of town, making surprisingly good time given how sluggish everyone was after the whole lack of sleep thing. Still, I wasn't gonna complain! Soon enough, we'd be just fine, and everything would be back to normal...and evil as always, no less.

"Jack…" Megumin started before biting back a yawn. "I gotta ask: how are you this bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? You were up all night last night; you can't possibly be this ready to take on the day?"

"Honestly? I don't know why I got a pep in my step!" I chirped without turning to look back or stopping said pep-step. "I think fixing my babies is just the sure-fire way to put me in a good-bad mood! Either that or it's the insomnia and caffeine coursing through my veins. That could be it too."

"I'm unfortunately going to have to suppose it's the latter," Darkness replied after a short yawn, stretching as she did so. "Well, where were you thinking of trading in our acquired goods, Jack?"

Now that was enough to stop the pep in my step.

I slowly glanced back at the girls. Then down at the bag of goodies in my hand. Then all around the general area while doing my best to not look like I didn't have a conclusive answer to Darkness' question.

"Jack…"

"Ah. Right. Figured I was forgetting something." I admitted with a slight chuckle, before clearing my throat and tapping my chin. "W-well, uh, we have a few options to choose from, the basic shops and such. Worst comes to worst, I'm sure the guild hall has some kind of bank or equivalent system."

"Y'know, for someone with a super high intelligence stat, you sure are clueless sometimes," Aqua commented with a smirk and crossed arms.

"Am not!" I rebutted, stomping my foot for added emphasis. "It's this town's fault, what with its confusing layout! It makes me feel like a lab rat trying to navigate a maze. Except there's no cheese to find at the end…"

"Yeah, well there's cheese this time: a decent lot of eris to keep us from starving!" Aqua huffed, not looking particularly amused with my antics. Apparently, she was a bit more testy when she was tired (more so than usual anyway). "Look, there's probably a pawn shop or something around here somewhere. Once we find it, we're golden. So let's move those feet already!"

On that note, we looked around town for a bit until we scouted a thrift store we could cash in at. And cash in we did, baby! Keele's shit turned in quite a pretty penny! A little over 1,240,000 eris to be exact. Maybe the goddess this money was named after decided to throw me a bone after all the crap she indirectly put me through? I don't know, luck is a fickle thing, more so than magic. With science, at least things are measured and consistent.

After storing our eris in my HeliBot's emergency extendo arm safe, the girls and I headed to the nearest cafe and proceeded to chow down. Admittedly, it was a little indulgent, but it wasn't gonna put too much of a strain on us given our payout. While we ate, we started to devise a better plan.

"Okay, I know what I've said before about avoiding super hard quests way out of our league," I started. "But the sooner the government steals enough of our reward money to pay for the damages, the sooner we can have disposable income again. We do a couple expert-level quests, we're done in a week, tops. Besides, if we can take out two Devil King Generals and make it out alive each time, I think we can handle pretty much anything at this point. So fuck it, right?"

"Given our track record, I can't say I'm terribly confident in our odds." Darkness replied with furrowed eyebrows, her cheeks flushing slightly as she turned away. "I will always be happy to take the blows you cannot, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a touch nervous about the prospect."

"But why?" I asked earnestly. "You can tank two of Megumin's Explosions like they're nothing. You're basically invincible."

"J-just because I can doesn't mean I want to, Jack!" Darkness insisted, or rather blatantly lied to our faces given the fierce shade of red on her flushed face. "Furthermore, I cannot protect all three of you from everything at once, and I can't say I have immense faith in any of our combat abilities either..."

Well, shoot. When the masochist's right, she's right. But still…

"Alright, look, let old Jack tell you all something," I began, leaning back in my seat while my finger twirled my fork on the surface of the table. "You've probably already pieced this together by now, but back home I used to get myself into all kinds of scrapes, most of which were way above my skill ceiling. I've had to lick my wounds so many times, I'd often think to myself, 'why bother anymore?'. But if you wanna be Numero Uno in life, you gotta learn to pick yourself up and get back out there. Some days I win, a lot of other days I don't. But unless I try, I won't get anything done…"

"Huh. You know, that actually bordered on inspirational, Jack," Megumin remarked with a bright smile, before nodding slightly as she leaned forward. "I'm definitely game for some harder quests. I think we can handle it if we work together."

I smirked proudly at our team's demolition expert. I knew I could count on her to understand where I was coming from with that. One can't take over the world if one doesn't go out into said world. That's just common sense.

"I'm game too! Aside from the fact that I singlehandedly took care of Vanir, I think we can handle some harder fights," Aqua chimed in with equal enthusiasm, and just a touch of mischief. "Of course, I wouldn't say no to the eventual pretty penny either."

Just like that, it was three against one. We all turned expectantly at the one party member who was unexpectedly hesitant about diving headfirst into dangerous quests that would undoubtedly tickle her fancy…a-among other things…

Get your mind out of the gutter, evil teen genius. She's your friend now, so you have even less of an excuse to hopelessly pine after her. Although, that doesn't mean I can't still mess around with her for shits and giggles!

"I'd ask what your vote is this time around, Dark, but I'm afraid it'd be irrelevant either way. Majority rules once again. Welcome to democracy~"

"Yes, yes. I can see the tide turning, Jack," The crusader huffed in some form of embarrassment or another. In a semi-surprising show of focus, she shook her head clear and said something that wasn't perverted. "With that matter settled, what should we do regarding the here and now? We're going to require groceries, and some proper furniture would be nice as well."

"Food and beds are a definite must, got that," I agreed right before launching a loose piece of muffin into the air to try and catch in my mouth (all I got were crumbs in the eye). "If we ration the rest out, we can probably stretch our bank account to last us a solid month. That's assuming a certain someone doesn't spend it all on fancy liquor. Someone who's name rhymes with 'Blaqua'."

"Hey! I have some self-control, thank you!" The water goddess retorted with a pouty face, one that did not do her any favors in the trust department to be honest. "I get it, alright? We'll need to take it easy for a while, I understand. I'll cut back on the spending...Kazuma can probably cover my share anyway."

For a split-second, I got confused on who this Kazuma guy was before remembering it was that punk, Satou's, first name. God, just thinking about that smug prick and what he did to corrode my bad name pisses me off! We probably would've made it out fine with Vanir's mask, Dark's family name, and proof of my horrendous luck alone. What he did was pointless mudslinging in the grand scheme of things, and I will never forgive him for that! Never, ever, EVER!

"He might as well buy you a whole damn bar while he's at it…" I grumbled hatefully, bristling at the thought of my new friends hanging out with that schmuck.

"You know, you really don't have to be so terse when it comes to Satou. He's treated us fairly well, all things considered," Darkness remarked, apparently having picked up on my irritation as she spared me an almost confused look. "A bit of gratitude wouldn't kill you, no?"

"Easy for you to say," I bit back, pointedly ignoring the semi-aroused whimper my response triggered within her. "You're good guys, having nice things said about you is what fuels you. Having nice things said about a bad guy, meanwhile? That can destroy most villains' evil careers. At least before the Mobile Fortress showed up, I was mixed in the eyes of the community. But who knows what other lies Satou said about me. What if he said I help old people cross the street? I hate old people! Except Granny of course…"

The girls all paused and looked at each other, that same, familiar expression of concern flashing on their faces before they turned back, making me shift in my seat even while still miffed. I didn't like that look. It felt like pity, and worse yet, it usually meant one of those talks was coming. I thought we were done with them already.

"But…why do you like having bad things said about you, Jack?" Megumin asked out of the blue. What was she, my non-existent shrink? "Doesn't it make you feel sad when people have a low opinion of you?"

"Not unless I were a goody-two-shoes hero," I humored her with an obvious eye roll. "When people talk shit and call me a big jerk, that means I'm doing a bad job. Which, for bad guys like me, is considered a good job. I know the inverse meaning on those terms can get a little confusing – it's even tripped me up a couple times – but it's Evil 101 you guys. C'mon, keep up."

"Ah. Right. Evil 101…" Darkness repeated with a quirked eyebrow, this weird mixed expression lingering on her face, as well as on the other girls. It looked like a strange cross between confusion and amusement, like the kind of face you'd make listening to a baby babble nonsensically. "Uh, Jack? Have you ever considered...oh, I don't know, 'tempering' your evil, I suppose? A healthy balance?"

I blinked at her before responding hesitantly. "Err, well, I mean…I do take breaks from the whole world-conquering game every now and then. Even evil geniuses can only chug on for so long without a vacation. And since there are likely still reps from the capital lingering around…eh, I might as well take some time off from evil for now."

"Alright, it's a start. So, the main plan for the moment is to start taking on the tougher jobs." Aqua stated, nodding in appreciation since it wasn't a half bad plan to work off of, at least given our past work. "So, we should probably grab the essentials, and after that maybe look for some more barebones gear? At the very least, a few emergency health potions wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah, that could work," I agreed as we finished paying for the food. Without leaving behind a tip of course. "Anybody know of a decent magic shop to hit up for some mana potions? Never hurts to have a few of those."

"Ah...well, there is one, Jack. One we kinda know…" Megumin replied, scratching her cheek with an awkward chuckle. "I know you probably aren't really keen on the idea, but Wiz is probably the best choice."

"I said decent magic shop, Megumin," I corrected without glancing back, a little venom entering my tone at the mention of that two-timing immortal. "Hers doesn't count."

"Oh, come now, Jack! You can't be mad at her too!" Darkness chided lightly, seemingly a bit exasperated at this point. "I understand you might be a bit cross given the differential of our punishments, but Wiz had less to give! Regardless of that fact, you can't really say that it's entirely her fault, can you?"

"It's not about who got the lighter slap on the wrist!" I argued, whipping around to face the crusader properly. "Wiz ratted me out by telling Sena I was the one who gave the order to teleport the core when it was her stupid idea to begin with! I bet she realized how much trouble she would be in if she took the fall and decided to drag me down with her. Bottom line: she stabbed me in the back, even after we spared her in that graveyard. She's no better than Wuya or Chase Young."

When I noticed my team blinking in confusion at that last name, I elaborated. "Oh, right, you don't know who Chase Young is. He's my ex-evil hero and…former crush I ranted about in the dungeon. Y'know, the guy who tried to feed me to a dinosaur? Yeah, he's another of those douchebag immortals I've dealt with."

"Oh, yeah...well, that's not entirely fair, Jack. You don't know that Wiz acted with any malice!" Megumin retorted after a moment, crossing her arms and sparing me a less-than-withering glare. "C'mon, she was probably just scared about what would happen to her if she took the full blame! Are you really gonna shame her for that?"

"If it means throwing Jack to the wolves instead? Then yes! Yes, I will shame her greatly!" I cried in frustration before turning to Aqua, who'd been unusually silent. "Aqua, back me up here! You never even liked Wiz to begin with. Please remind these two again on why liches suck? I know you wanna~"

Aqua shifted in her seat a little, an unexpected uncertainty crossing her face as she laced her hands together. "Listen, godly beings and undead...we don't get along. I have my reservations, and under most circumstances I'd stick to them...but in this case, I can't. Undead or no, Wiz didn't throw you under the bus, Jack. I mean, she still took partial blame, right? It's not like she painted you as an all-out villain in the one case you didn't want to be viewed as such."

I gawked at Aqua and the others in utter dismay. Once again, none of them had my back…even though I was making perfect sense here!

After a moment or two of irritated sputters and grumbles from my end, I eventually threw my hands up and gave in to peer pressure. "You know what? Fine! We'll go to Wiz's stupid shop already! But only because I don't feel like looking for a better magic store right now. There, happy? Are you satisfied? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

"Jack, I don't think either of them are gonna get that reference," Aqua remarked with a small, knowing smile, before nodding in my direction. "But yeah, we're happy enough with that. Right, girls?"

Darkness and Megumin nodded, seemingly unfazed by my sour mood, which was slowly fading away as I stared incredulously at the water goddess before me.

"Huh. Y'know, it's funny, but I did not peg you as a Ridley Scott fan. I saw you more as a closet weeb if I'm gonna be blunt."

"Hey, I can dabble, thank you! Credit where credit's due, humanity's made some pretty damn good entertainment worldwide," Aqua replied with a smirk and casual shrug. "Anime is neat and all, but America made its fair share of worthwhile films too! I mean, have you ever seen Alien?"

"Seen it? It's only one of my all-time favorites! Next to Terminator and Star Wars!" I suddenly geeked out, never knowing this side of Aqua before. "Oh, we are SO coming back to this later, girlfriend! In case the CameraBots weren't already a dead giveaway, I'm kind of a movie buff."

"You know, I never really considered that before! Kinda obvious in hindsight, really," Aqua admitted, clearly just as surprised and elated as I was over a newfound movie buddy. I wonder if the other gods watched human entertainment too. "Still, we're definitely gonna have to swap favorites in the near future!"

As I was nodding ecstatically, I was suddenly reminded of the fact that we still had company with us, and when I glanced back over to them…yup, they looked so incredibly lost. Should've excepted as much.

"Ah, don't worry guys. One of these I'll download some flicks from home and we can all have ourselves a movie night. Just be prepared for me and Aqua to make witty commentary throughout the feature presentation."

"Well, I suppose I should just be happy you two found something you both enjoy talking about," Darkness replied with a quiet chuckle, shaking her head in apparent amusement. "Truthfully, these 'movies' do sound intriguing. I wouldn't mind seeing just what they amount to."

"There's a movie for everyone, trust me," I reassured with confidence. "Romance? They're there. Unadulterated violence? Better believe it. Explosions? Watch literally any film directed by Michael Bay. They've got a little something for everybody, baby."

Darkness...well, for some reason after I said that, she went beet red and proceeded to make a series of sputters and nervous chuckles while hastily averting her gaze. Odd, even for her.

Bewildered at the strange reaction, given explosions were more Megumin's thing anyhow, I noticed the diminutive mage did look a bit interested at the prospect.

"Wait, does that mean you have Explosion magic in your world too?" Megumin asked, her eyes glowing red whenever something excited (or angered) her. "How powerful is it? It couldn't possibly hold a candle to my spell! Pardon the accidental wordplay..."

"Pardoned," I excused as we all walked out of the café and took the scenic route to…that shop. "As for whether Earth has Explosion magic, eeeehhhh…not that I'm aware of. Magic in general isn't nearly as mainstream as it is around here; it's more 'hush-hush, under wraps' back where I come from. That's why most countries developed devices like nukes and bombs to achieve explosions similar to yours. Where'd you think I came up with the nickname M-Bomb, M-Bomb?"

"Huh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense given how magic isn't as commonplace for your people. Gotta make use of the next best thing," Megumin mused after a moment, before a bright smile grew on her face as she let out a particularly smug chuckle. "Well, guess that just means my stellar magic is all the more impressive to view, yes?"

I rolled my eyes at the smug little kid next to me. "You magically gifted have bigger egos than me, I swear…y'know, actually, there's a quote from my world that I like to live by whenever I feel like my bots just aren't enough to cut it sometimes: 'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic'. As an aspiring mad scientist who loves tinkering with machines…it's a quote I keep close to heart."

"Yeah, I can definitely see the value in that, considering it's not exactly wrong," Aqua replied with a small tilt of her head, an easy smile resting on her face. "As an actual goddess, it rings particularly true. You wouldn't believe how much that kinda stuff mingles in the god realm, magic and technology alike. We don't discuss it much among each other, since that's how it's always been for us, but it's kinda neat when compared to a culture like yours."

"Hot damn, that almost sounded intelligent," I teased sassily in an effort to mask just how impressed I was with her words. "Who are you and what have you done with Aqua?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny, Spicer. Get it all out of your system now, dork," The goddess grumbled with an eyeroll, before coming to a stop in front of our destination. "Alright, looks like we're here! No picking fights, ya hear?"

"UGH! Yes MOM," I groaned obnoxiously. "I won't throw down on the lich that almost got me executed for her idea…even though she totally knew what she did…"

Aqua cast me a passive glare over that one, but I shrugged it off and entered the shop with the others, taking a deep breath as I did so. I could handle Wiz, traitorous as she may be.

Little did I realize that by stepping foot inside the shop, I would come face-to-face with something, or rather someone, that drained all the color out of me…literally, for real. Just like in the cartoons when a character gets scared. I, uh...hope it grows back...?

"Ah, welcome valued customer! Though, it appears you've spilled your colors all over the floor, my young friend," Vanir said with a horribly evil tone, a laugh waiting just on the edge of his voice. "Would you kindly...retract them? Moi just finished sweeping, you know, terribly rude of you to make a mess so soon."

I hyperventilated, barely aware that all the colors from my clothes and body inexplicably absorbed themselves back into me as I pressed a button on my wrist communicator. Four JackBots swiftly crashed through the windows of the shop, chest plasma rifles out and sawblades whirring in anticipation.

"And now the glass! Spicer! You're making a mess!" The demon huffed while throwing up his arms in annoyance with a huff. "Will you stop that? And send your silly toys away, moi is not here for a fight, blithering fool."

"What are YOU doing here!?" I bravely demanded behind my wall of equally as tense and battle-ready friends. "We killed you! We have your mask above our fireplace! I TAPED IT BACK TOGETHER FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

"You did what!? Why, that's practically desecrating my corpse!" Vanir replied with a bewildered series of motions, glancing at the girls for apparent help before groaning and planting his hands on his hips. "Well, since you've apparently forgotten, moi can't die in the conventional sense. My real body resides in Hell, and this body you see before you is merely an avatar made from the minerals of this world. Thus, moi 'lives' on, so to speak."

Though stricken with intense fear at the moment, I did notice something slightly different about the masked psycho, aside from the admittedly silly pink apron he was wearing over his suit. Not only did his new mask have the black and white sides switched, but there was also a Roman numeral II engraved on the forehead, which I guess made this Vanir…Vanir "2.0".

"Oh…I knew that," I lied.

"Moi doesn't doubt you for a second," Vanir the Second said back with a grin.

"W-well, anyway, you switched off my bots without their consent, and that's practically sexual harassment! So consider your 'desecrated corpse' payback, ya sicko!"

"Yes, yes, a thousand apologies about your 'bots' or whatever those flimsy things are supposed to be," He replied with a disinterested wave of the hand. "Though, in my humble defense, you did order them to attack moi after he warned you of his strength."

Feeling the strangest sense of calm gradually wash over me, I snarked back. "Oh, SO SORRY for having a sense of self-preservation. I should've realized you had such a calming aura to you…like my dentist."

"Oh, your sarcasm! It wounds moi so!" Vanir scoffed with a dramatic gesture, before returning to his prior glare as he stared me down. "Now, if you're quite finished being yourself, this is a place of business, thank you. Moi recommends you either purchase something or kindly show yourselves to the door. We're not running a library here."

"I-I apologize immensely on Vanir's behalf, everyone!" a familiar and unappreciated voice rang out as I saw Wiz rushing out of the backrooms, dusting herself off as she spoke. "My friend can get a little…J-Jack! Lady Aqua, Megumin, Darkness! It's you!"

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Little Miss Backstabber herself," I insulted. There was just too much going on all at once, I had to get some of it out. "Say, did you know your 'friend' tried to kill me and my friends? You undead really know how to pick 'em, huh?"

"W-what?" Wiz sputtered in confusion, which only irritated me more (and inadvertently gave Vanir something negative to snack on). How could she not know what I was referring to!? "Jack, I'm sorry about the matter of the teleportation spell, but it was never my intention to betray you, I swear! W-when the guards came to my shop with the prosecutor, I panicked!"

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night," I stated bluntly, taking small joy in watching her face contort miserably before my attention turned back to the creep show in the mask. "Hey, not that I'm complaining or anything but…how come you're not hunting me down right now?"

Vanir, suddenly looking a bit crisper than before, sized me up with the slightest increase of seriousness as he replied. "Simple. Moi has had some time to reflect on our last encounter and, after the pitiful attempt you made personally to take moi out, moi has ascertained that you are currently a non-threat. If you truly are the dangerous being moi originally suspected, then moi shall take the required precautions. Otherwise, you and moi are...ugh, 'square', as you humans say."

"…you diviners are all whack…"

"Very insightful, as expected," Vanir scoffed, before tilting his head to the girls in front of me in question. "You three have been troublingly quiet throughout this endeavor. What's the matter? Devil got your tongue~?"

"No, but your stench was so nauseating, I didn't want to open my mouth at the risk of throwing up," Aqua retorted hotly, sticking close to me like glue. "And just for the record, you try any funny business with Jack again, and I'll finish what I started back at Keele's. Got it?"

"Moi is never going to live that one down, is he?" Vanir sighed with a grimace and another wave of his hand. "Yes, yes, moi hears you, obnoxious blue thing. Temper, temper."

With Darkness and Megumin visibly less tense as well, I made the executive decision to relax a little myself. Live and let live with the sore loser, that's what I got to say.

After ordering the bots to go into standby mode outside the shop, I looked over to Wiz in an unamused trance. "You still sell regular, non-defective mana potions, don't you? They're the only decent things to come out of this shop and I need a resupply."

"Y-yes, yes we still carry regular mana potions!" Wiz answered quickly, her voice strained slightly. It took me a second to realize that that actually might have been crying. That...didn't exactly supply me with the evil warm fuzzies I was expecting. "J-just a moment, there are some in the back! I'll go retrieve them!"

As the lich pulled herself away into the backroom, I was left at the mercy of my team giving me some major stink/evil eyes.

"Look, I'm stressed, okay!?" I defended hastily, gesturing at the smirking Vanir. "This one-shot joke villain comes back from the dead and nearly gives me a heart attack! Cut me some slack!"

"Be better, Jack. Be better," Darkness replied simply while crossing her arms, leveling a glare at me that actually made me feel just the tiniest bit guilty. "I expect an apology when she gets back."

Not wanting to sabotage my first and only friendship with these girls, I hung my head and faintly nodded. It was unbecoming of this world's future supreme Devil King to have to comply with the good guys (even if said good guys were technically my friends). But, then again, I've also done substantially more embarrassing things back in my Shen Gong Wu hunting days. So I could live with it.

Still, I have got to turn these ladies over to the dark side soon. Not to be picky or anything, but my friends could be serious party-poopers sometimes.

Eventually, Wiz returned from the back room, carrying a small box of potions and placing them on the counter, her head bowed the whole time. Grumbling quietly to myself, I approached the counter and tried my best to come up with something reminiscent of an apology.

"…'m sorry…" I mumbled nearly unintelligibly, refusing to look Wiz in the eye.

"W-what?" Wiz sniffled in response, raising her head enough for me to confirm she was indeed crying. I shifted in discomfort as I worked my jaw and repeated myself with more certainty.

"I'm…ssssoooorrrryyyy…" I said again, though through clenched teeth. Not only was it hard to apologize to someone who I personally felt didn't deserve it, but I was also internally confused on why seeing Wiz cry didn't make me feel bad in the way that I like.

I wanted to say it had something to do with her naturally cute face. That was my working theory at least.

"O-oh...you don't need to apologize for anything, Jack," Wiz responded after a few seconds, likely having to piece together just what I was trying to force out. At least that was over with, now I could move on without a second thought! "I-I apologize for what you and your friends had to go through. It was never my intention to see any of you all in trouble…"

"Yeah…" I breathed out, not fully realizing I was holding in my breath to begin with. I lazily jabbed my thumb over at Vanir behind me and said, "Just keep your friend on a tight leash and we'll be even as far as I'm concerned. Deal?"

"That certainly sounds fair, yes," Wiz replied, better composing herself and quickly drying her eyes, slapping on a halfhearted smile. "So, I retrieved the potions you requested. Will one box suffice, or do you need more?"

"Just the one," I stated robotically (I know, ha-ha) while retrieving some eris from my HeliBot's personal safe. "We're on a budget right now."

"Understood. I hope they serve you well regardless!" Wiz replied easily, seemingly already falling back into routine as she took the offered eris and forked over the small box of potions, which Darkness stepped forward and retrieved. "Well, I wish you and your friends the best of luck with whatever you have planned next!"

I nodded numbly, mostly thankful that my business here was just about done. Turning around, I made my way towards the exit with my team halfway out the door themselves. But before I stepped out of the shop, I glanced behind at Vanir the Second then down at the shattered glass from the window my bots busted through. I smirked evilly.

"Have fun cleaning my mess there, 2.0. I think you're more cut out to be a janitor than a supervillain anyway~"

Vanir didn't respond verbally, but I swore I saw the slightest glint of red flash in his eyes as he held my gaze, prompting me to determine that a swift, tactical retreat was probably for the best. He did still have a laser face, even if he was a lame villain monetization wise.

Once we stepped back outside, I stored a few of the mana potions from the box for personal use and ordered the patient JackBots to take the rest off of Dark's hands. As I watched them carry the goods away without any problems, I blew an exasperated raspberry.

"I'm glad that's over."

"Oh, COME ON, man! It wasn't that bad!" Megumin scoffed, lightly punching my arm and rolling her eyes in apparent exasperation. "Probably would have gone better if you acted a little nicer...or if your attempt at apologizing didn't sound like it was tortured out of you."

"Oh, excuse me, I don't believe we've met before. Allow me to introduce myself," I back-sassed with a phony smile as I pretended we were strangers for a moment. "I'm Jack Spicer, Evil Teen Genius. And you are…?"

"Dial back the sass there, self-proclaimed genius," Aqua retorted from my other side. "We should probably swing by the guild hall before we do anything else, see if any good quests have popped up while we were gone."

"Well, seeing as how winter isn't going to die down anytime soon, I imagine there's still plenty of untaken winter-monster kill quests," I mused in an a-musing way before leveling a quick glance over at Darkness. "By the way, if you 'forget' to mention any more shoguns this time around, I'm going to be a little annoyed. You don't want to see me cry again, now do you?"

"Jack, I learned my lesson last time," Darkness huffed while crossing her arms, clueing me in that she was once more enacting serious knight mode. "Though you may hold some reservations about my habits, I would never purposefully put another in harm's way! Such actions would be beyond dishonorable."

"Oh yeah, and we all know you'd absolutely HATE the thought of being dishonored, o' pure and innocent crusader," I mumbled just loud enough while doing my best to hold back a cheeky grin. I may have confusing feelings regarding the masochist and her "habits" but, lowkey, I find her more fun when she's just being herself. Unless she gets a little too crazy, then it's considerably less fun. Small doses are fine though.

"Different levels, Jack. Different levels of embarrassment," The crusader retorted, shifting as her face flushed a familiar shade of red. "It's not a straight path for me. I can't properly put it to words, I'm afraid, but certain...well, things affect me while others do not."

I gave her a look as we all made our way to the guild in no big hurry. "So getting minced by the Headless Horseman's stepson turns you on while something like calling you by your real name turns you off? Okay, now I know messing with me."

"L-like I said, I can't explain it myself! If I had a say in the matter, I'd make it infinitely less confusing!" Darkness shot back, clearly embarrassed(?) at this point, which just stoked the fire of her argument further. She was practically a walking paradox, getting turned on over being embarrassed about getting turned on over being embarrassed!

Casting a glance over at my other two companions, I half-joked, "Now do you see why I'll never understand my own species? Humans are way more complicated than robots, and I install emotion chips into mine for badness' sake! I'm part of the problem!"

"Normally, this would be where I tell you that your experiences aren't universal and that you're just a weirdo, but in this case…" Aqua replied, tilting her hand back and forth while sparing the crusader an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Lalatina. You're an oddity to us all!"

The three of us got a wicked chuckle out of seeing Lala blow up on us for calling her by her real name, somehow not looking quite as scary as she normally would when genuinely upset. Once again, I will never get over how my kind managed to assert itself as the dominant species. Oh well, better not dwell on it too much; some things are better left to not think about.

I should know, especially after that incident over the "chicken or the egg" question. I will never unsee what the Rio Reverso showed me…

After another minute or so of idle chit-chat, we arrived outside the guild hall. While I didn't plan on sharing it with the girls, I actually felt the slightest bit apprehensive about coming back given our hasty departure previously. Not that I needed the approval of the do-gooders within, but it'd be nice to not be loathed everywhere I go. There's a difference between being viewed as a rising evil star and having people wish death upon you. Obviously, I'm not too peachy keen on the latter.

Even so, we had to go in at some point, might as well rip the band-aid off now. After a heart-pounding minute of climbing up the stairs, we opened the doors to the hall, and as soon as we stepped inside, every adventurer and waitress stopped what they were doing to look at us…

Usually, I'd come up with something snappy or snarky; the perfect entrance for a stellar villain such as myself. However, in an effort to appease the girls, who I'm sure would get real upset over such a notion, I held my tongue and instead glanced at Darkness. If there was anyone I trusted not to screw up our first impression, it'd be her.

However, before my crusader friend could even get a sentence started, the guild hall suddenly erupted with a grand hoopla! It kinda startled me a little to be honest. Whatever it was about, I sure hope it wasn't the result of that green prick spreading rumors about me being an "upstanding moral citizen". Otherwise, all this cheering would just be going to waste in my mind. I mean, what's the point if it isn't about you being their tyrannical overlord?

Anyway, Luna along with some other members of the staff approached us like they had something important to say.

"Well, it's good to see you four back so soon!" The lead receptionist greeted pleasantly, a small smile resting easily on her face. "Since justice has been dispensed and everything is nice and sorted now, I figured I should inform you that the guild has elected to make a...special offer, regarding your current financial situation."

"You mean you guys are paying for our debt yourselves!? Hot dog!" I whooped. This calls for a premature celebration!

"Ah, no. Not even close. I'm afraid the guild isn't half that generous," Luna replied, her tone bordering on amused as she shook her head slightly. "Rather, the adventurers have come together and agreed to chip in and pay for your meals for the foreseeable future."

Rats…well, can't blame an evil genius for trying. At least we won't have to worry about starving. I can only subsist on junk food for so long.

"Oh…well, uh, that's cool regardless!" I said nervously.

"Indeed! It's an exceedingly generous offer regardless!" Darkness chimed in, both playing diplomat and being genuinely grateful, which helped. "If I may ask, how did they reach such an agreement?"

"Heh, w-well…I suppose you could say we all felt just a little bit guilty for playing bystanders after the royal prosecutor mentioned substantial jail time for 'associating' with alleged terrorists," Luna answered sheepishly. She even did that poking thing with her index fingers like Aqua does whenever she screws up. "Consider this an apology from us all, Lady Lalatina."

Dark promptly floundered there, her mouth dropping open in surprise and her face flushing slightly, seemingly dumbfounded for a moment. Honestly, I never considered that Sena and her goons might have told the others just who Darkness really was during their investigation. Clearly, neither did she.

"Oof. I guess the cat's out of the bag now," Megumin commented as she started patting the noble on the back, who was currently standing stiff as a board and nervously eyeing all the other adventurers. "Sorry, Darkness. Like I said, we promise not to treat you any differently."

"Oh, don't worry! I can assure you that a majority of your comrades will treat you exactly the same as before." Luna chimed in once more. "When the truth was revealed, they insisted that it didn't matter where you came from, that you'd always be a, and I'm quoting here, 'kickass crusader'. Apparently, you made a good impression."

And just like that, Dark went from embarrassed for real to…I guess even more embarrassed for real. This woman was a living enigma, I swear.

"Y'know, I'm technically a noble where I'm from," I added with my finger up. "Granted, it's more of a business tycoon than a royal bloodline, but still, that's gotta mean special privileges regardless, right?"

"Those semantics are up for you to discuss with them I'm afraid. I'm just the messenger," Luna replied simply, offering my party and I one final smile and wave. "Well, I'll leave you all to it! Glad to have you back!"

Once Luna and the other staff members dispersed, the guild hall went back to its usual noisy self, the adventurers going back to talking amongst themselves like nothing ever happened. Talk about a short attention span.

"Say, if everyone here is going to pay for our meals, wouldn't it go without saying that they would also pay for our drinks as well?" Aqua asked us suddenly, a sly smile stretching out across her face. "TO THE BAR, GANG!"

"Naturally, you drunkard," I huffed with a knowing smile, having expected no less from the goddess. After a while, you adjust to the quirks of your friends, I guess. Plus, while I learned my lesson and wasn't planning on indulging myself, she wasn't wrong by any means. "Lead the way, since you'd know it better than the rest of us."

"Correct as always, Doctor Science," Aqua sang in response, though I wasn't quite sure if she meant that as a lighthearted joke or jab at my character. Guess it didn't matter much either way. "Follow your expert bubbly connoisseur, if you'd please~"

And so, Aqua walked us on down towards the bar in question, a pep in her step I admittedly hadn't been expecting to see for a while. So far, things were going great reintegrating with the guild! Seems like my luck might actually be turning around for a change!

"Yo, Jack!"

Scratch that. That sounded like Tomato Boy.

Reluctantly, I looked over in the direction of his voice, and sure enough, Dust was just a table away from us. Along with his party…and Yunyun…and if there's Yunyun, there's…Green Bean? Oh god, kill me now.

Luckily, the girls were more than happy to take the lead, waving to Dust and his company and making their way over to the table they were settled around. I loosely followed, electing to stay quiet unless directly addressed again. If the incident at Wiz's shop was any indication, peace was the name of the game for the moment. As such, I planned to behave...for the most part, anyhow.

"Well, it's good to see you guys alive and in one piece," Dust's sorta partner in crime, Keith, said smoothly while sipping a cup of ale. "Heard about the royal pardon, and how you even went out of your way to kill another demon general just to prove your point. Pretty. Fucking. Badass, if you ask me."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that...especially considering how well we kicked that sorry demon's ass!" Megumin replied ecstatically, clearly banking on stretching the truth a little given her pride as a Crimson Demon. "Though, really, Aqua got the final blow in. Most of the credit goes to her!"

"It's true, that stinky demon was a total pushover against me!" The water demigod cheered, popping off a Nature's Beauty with an admittedly elegant pose in the process. "But then again, I am an amazingly stunning archpriest, so it was only to be expected~"

"Now, now. It's best to tempt our experience with wisdom, you two. It was certainly a fight that could have gone better," Darkness replied in her semi-typical, composed fashion, though she did crack a smile near the end. "Of course, taking out two Demon Generals is a feat to celebrate regardless."

I was pretty much content nodding quietly in the background, one of the rare times in my life where I didn't want to draw attention to myself. But, of course, because the universe hated me, it suddenly became Opposite Day as Dust outed me with a…relaxed smile? Strange, Tomato Boy's never looked at me like that before. Wonder what's gotten into him?

"Well, I gotta give credit where it's due. You guys really surprised us. Spicer in particular," He admitted, and I had to fight the urge to bristle at the statement. Just where was he going with this? "I mean, outside of even the Demon General stuff, we probably wouldn't have been able to deal with the Destroyer without you backing us up! What I'm trying to say here is...despite how things started between us, I appreciate what you did. A lotta people do."

I blinked stupidly. "Wait, you mean you don't have it out for me anymore? In fact now that I think about it…why did you ever have it out for me anyway?"

Dust awkwardly scratched his cheek before providing a definitive answer to my query. "Eh, to make a long story short, you and your 'goddess' partner kinda messed up a big investment for me involving tomatoes that were out of season. Remember that flood you guys conjured to wash away the Dullahan a while back? Yeah, well, let's just say that was a full crate of vegetables and millions of eris gone down the drain for me. But, to be fair, I might have held onto it a bit longer than was necessary."

Shaking his head out of reminiscing, Dust turned back to me before shrugging curtly. "But yeah, as of now, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones; fresh start and all that. So...we cool?"

"Wait – that's why you were crying about tomatoes back then!?" I shouted incredulously, temporarily forgetting that I was trying not to make a scene this time. Still, I couldn't help it, the reveal was so absurd I had to express my shock accordingly. "Dude, I just thought you were having a stroke or something! Holy crap, I-I think I might be having a stroke right now. Wow, just...WOW."

"...wait, strokes make you cry…?" Dust muttered to himself, eyebrows furrowed and chin cupped while his party members collectively facepalmed at his musings. He shook his head clear and went back to addressing me. "Anyway, as I was saying...are we cool now or what, man?"

I was able to pull myself out of my little moment of utter bewilderment to process the blonde's peace offering. My conclusion?

…

Eh, fuck it, why not?

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure, we cool. I still get to call you Tomato Boy though, right? You have to admit, the name does suit you, what with the red jacket and those red contact lenses."

Dust's eyebrows shot up, and for half a second I thought I'd managed to piss him off all over again...until he leaned in and whispered frantically to me, despite the fact that we were still like six feet apart. "You knew they were contacts!? Oh gods, does anyone else know!?"

"Know what?" I asked back, confused as hell. "Dude, I have to wear contacts because my eyes are fucked, so I kinda have a sixth sense for these sorts of things. Besides, the only people who have natural red eyes besides Crimson Demons are albinos like me, and comparing the two of us? Yeah, you don't have what I have. Now what's the big deal?"

"W-well...I dunno, it's a secret, man!" Dust sputter-whispered my way, deepening my confusion further. This clearly had the guy worked up, so it seemed pretty important. "Honestly, I never really gave your eyes a second thought. Probably should have thought the whole contacts thing through, now that I'm dwelling on it…"

"Eh, red's a badass color anyway, so I think it works," I stated casually with a smirk and a thumbs up. "If there's one boon to having a genetic disorder, it's that it makes me look rad as hell! Now if only the kids at school saw it that way instead of making fun of me...man, why do kids gotta be more evil than me?"

"Hell if I know, man. Kids are vicious like that," Dust replied with a casual shrug, and I was struck in that moment that somehow, he wasn't being utterly irritating at the moment. Was I in the process of making...another friend? And not someone who would just say they're my friend only to use me like a tool? Well, crazier things have happened before, so who's to say, really?

After giving my possible new friend an understanding nod over kids being the worst creatures ever, my gaze accidentally happened to cross Satou's, and we suddenly found ourselves in the middle of an evil glaring contest (which I always win in by the way).

"Spicer…" He practically growled in greeting, making me cross my arms in response. Oh, two can play at that fucking game, you obnoxious NEET.

"Green Bean."

"Don't fucking call me that," He hissed, fists curled up and a vein bulging on his forehead. It was enough to make his partner beside him squeak in mild fear. "I'm not playing games with you anymore."

"Would you rather I call you throw up?" I challenged smugly, pleased to see my taunts were enough to get under his skin. They usually had little effect on my enemies. "Because that's what else the color green reminds me of."

Suddenly, Satou was on his feet, and for a single, dangerous second, my hand sank to my emergency call for the bots as we stared each other down. I could tell this was different from before, our previous spats having been brief and, for the most part, petty. This, though...this was different. I was bad at reading people, yet I could see the fire in his eyes, loud and clear. Satou was well and truly pissed.

"HA-HA! Well, this has been a delight!" Aqua crowed, stepping in front of me and pushing me away from the table as we suddenly began walking away. "Maybe we'll catch up later, yeah? Great, see you soon, BYE!"

And just like that, it was over. The girls promptly whisked me away from the table and over to the bar in a flash, and my own anger simmered away easily as I took a few breaths. That almost went south fast, and if the girls hadn't stepped in...

No, Spicer, it's already over now. There's no reason to dwell on the hypotheticals.

"Thanks for the save," I whispered graciously to Aqua. "I don't know what Level he's at but I'm fairly sure it's higher than mine, so that could've gotten ugly."

"It wouldn't have been a risk if you could learn not to instigate," Aqua shot back with a surprising amount of defensiveness, prompting me to turn and look at her in surprise. "Why do you have to go and pick fights with Kazuma? I know you two have your disagreements but seriously, this is getting out of hand! Even I'm not this petty with Eris or my fellow gods...unless it's Wolbach. The stupid hussy…"

"First of all, he started it," I argued in a calm tone. Aqua did kinda look out for me back there so I did owe her that much. "Second of all, he just has this smarmy 'I'm better than you' attitude with me and I don't like it. I work my butt off day and night to accomplish my goals while he's out there charming princesses and destroying my street cred. THIRD of all…I don't know, the guy just weirds me out a little. I mean, you have heard the rumors about him and ladies' unmentionables, haven't you?"

"Yes, Jack, we're aware of the rumors. Hell, I was there to see it for myself before I met you," Megumin chimed in, looking just as unamused as the goddess of our party and crossing her arms. "Look, I didn't trust him back then either; thought he was a total creep. But things have changed, and you have to admit that he did save our butts from execution! The guy deserves a bit of leeway, doesn't he?"

I was about to retort, but that's when I felt the strangest twinge down in my greedy black heart when Megumin asked me that question. That…that wasn't guilt, now was it? Why should I be feeling guilty? Screw Satou, the man almost single-handedly tanked my reputation as an evil-doer! Ain't no way he's getting any leeway from Jack Spicer! Nope, nada!

…strange, I thought that would make the dull ache go away by now. Huh…

After a while of being stared down by the only three people I could confidently call my friends, I rubbed the back of my neck and muttered, "I, uh...I-I'm gonna go look at the board for some quests now. You three can stay here and order something to drink. I'll just have Neroid Swish, I hear it's the only non-alcoholic beverage on the menu. Thanks…"

I slipped away in a hurry, the girls for once seemingly content to let me retreat. As I made my way over to the mission board, I tried my best to stifle the bizarre feeling in my chest.

Bad guys don't feel guilty for putting worse guys in their place...right?

Wow, first a chapter with no Jack POV now a chapter with no line breaks (not counting this one)? I must be out of my gourd for sure.

Yes, well, it seems as though there'll be new horizons for Jack and his posse. What awaits for them in the future? If you guys happen to have any suggestions for potential plot threads and arcs, by all means, leave them down. I'm open to suggestions! These next few chapters I do have planned are gonna be mostly following up on the aftermath of the "Running From the Law" arc, that is Jack and the gang doing what they can to clear their debt so they can move on with their plans for world domination (oh wait, that's just Jack, lol). In fact, there's two concepts I'd like to do soon but haven't quite figured what to do with them or how:

1.) Mitsurugi Kyouya (aka "What's-His-Name"). For those who need a refresher, last time we saw him he swore vengeance on Jack for not only having his family business meddle with his parents life but for also melting down his blessed sword. I would like to bring him back and possibly have him try to follow up on that promise but currently drawing a blank.

2.) Lalatina's noble affairs. Obviously, given the shakeup over at the capital, there's a good chance that caused a ripple effect with Darkness' family. Perhaps Alderp was one of the unlucky ones to get hospitalized during his stay at the capital and wants the Dustiness family to pay in some way given how Princess Iris has pardoned Jack and his team for the slip up involving the core. IDK. Either way, shit's 'bout to go down in the noble world and Jack has to come up with a hairbrained scheme to keep his Dark out of it so they can keep hanging out.

If there's an idea I think will be cool, even if I have to tweak it a tad, I will certainly credit the user. These are just two immediate ones that came to mind, though. Feel free to throw stuff at the wall and I'll see what sticks.

Also, I should probably read the Dust spinoff light novels on top of the main series ones. That background arc with him and Jack involving tomatoes was something he actually did in like the first volume I read and I just sorta rolled with it. According to the wiki, he wears red contacts to hide his blue eyes because blue eyes + blonde hair = nobility. I'm pretty sure his team isn't aware of his background but I'd have to read his series just to be sure. Either way, I'll still just be operating under the assumption that they don't and stick to it. This is fanfiction, after all, and people have suggested I start diverging more from the canon script. So here we are.

Anyway, I've been a Swood Guy at some point or another, and I will see you all in the next chapter. Swood on my guys!