I blissfully sighed as soon as my body made contact with the inviting cushions of my swivel chair.
It was always a treat to come down to my evil lair and unwind after a long adventure, successful or not. While the world above had yet to recognize me as their wrongful Emperor of Darkness (the concept, not my teammate of course), down here I was already a king, complete with loyal servants who would happily tend to my every whim! Speaking of which…
"FridgeBot," I called on my wrist communicator. "Come over here, will ya? Daddy needs a cold one."
After a few seconds, the rectangular bot appeared with a fresh soda already in claw, which I accepted gratefully. I'd developed him after the loss of our magic fridge that had been hauled away to pay for the debt. So far he proved to be a suitable replacement, if not an improvement!
"You. Are. A. Lifesaver." I enunciated with appreciation while cracking open the can. My bots were such bros that I technically didn't even need to program them to strictly obey me. Yeah, that's right, their adoration for me was so genuine that, nine times out of ten, programming them to follow my orders was redundant. Some may call it stupid and foolhardy, I call it a show of trust; to let my boys know that I care about them as much as they care about me.
And sure, I've had my fair share of rebellious androids (looking at you RoboJack), but that's just the way the cookie crumbles when it comes to installing emotion chips. For the most part, though, my homies were loyal.
I wheeled over my workbench, intent on starting up yet another project while I enjoyed my cold beverage. As I did so, I booted up the computer and opened up a fresh personal log file, one of now hundreds recorded on the device. May as well get a head start on my autobiography once I conquer the world, y'know?
Jack Spicer's Digital Diabolical Diary (DDD). Entry log # 113.
Dear DDD, not only has it been a week since I finished coating the JackBots in adamantite casings, but it's also been a week since my relationship with the girls has advanced from simple evil friends to an evil little family of sorts!
Well, soon-to-be evil, anyway. We're still working on their moral alignment. Either way, pretty significant developments regardless! I'm certainly pleased as punch about it!
First and foremost, there's recently been a new addition to the family! A small, furry, confusing addition by the name of Chomusuke, M-Bomb's "familiar" as she puts it. I'll be honest, when that cat first showed up, I was…let's say skeptical at first.
My party and I miserably bust the door to our home wide open, our bodies covered head to toe in frog spit. Even though Spring was still a ways away, the Giant Frogs woke up from their hibernation early this year. Apparently, going out with Megumin on her daily Explosion runs disturbed them from their sleep, and the guild forced us to go clean up "our mess".
Such much for their previous hospitality. Friggin' ingrates.
Still, at least Darkness was able to cut us free thanks to the electroshock gloves I outfitted her with. Believe it or not, she was the only one to be spared from getting vored. The universe works in ironically cruel ways.
"And I thought the inside of a dragon smelled rank…" I said numbly, wincing as the memory of being eaten alive by Dojo was still fresh in my mind along with all the other bad memories. Wiz owed me a discount on potions for unintentionally making me relive all my lowest moments on Earth.
"I hate frogs...I HATE THEM! They're lucky I don't have access to all my godly powers anymore, or I'd smite them all to dust!" Aqua fumed miserably, equal parts mad and distraught over yet another unfortunate incident with the giant monsters. "Ugh, I need a bath...and a hug."
"I just hope you do those things exactly in that order," Megumin grumbled beside me. I didn't feel like carrying her today, so I used a little bit of Drain Touch to give her enough of my energy to be able to move on her own. "By the way, Darkness, how come none of the frogs went after you? I thought you had the Decoy Skill listed as one of your abilities."
"I believe it may have been my armor. Frogs don't have much tolerance for metal, so I believe it was acting as a deterrent instead," The crusader replied glumly, seemingly bummed that she didn't get the treatment the rest of us did. Par for the course with her, really. "Still, I'll just have to remember that for the future, yes?"
"Yeah, would've been nice to know that little tidbit beforehand. But hey, now that we do know, I think we can leave any and all future frog-related quests in the JackBots' care," I declared. "Those mobs are too low-leveled to grind for XP anymore anyway, even if they are ginormous."
"A ginormous pain in the butt, that's for sure," Megumin huffed, shuddering in apparent discomfort before glancing at the rest of us with an impatient look. "Alright, so, how are we gonna draw straws for who gets to take a bath first?"
"Honestly, because I wanna get this gunk off of me as soon as possible, I really don't mind if the two of us just go in together. Think of it like a throwback to the aftermath of our first quest!" Aqua suggested cheerfully to Megumin, but I was so stunned at what she said that I just had to interject.
"Woah-woah-woah, time out for a sec! What did you two do together…?"
"Uh, you know...bathe? Like civilized people?" Aqua asked, quirking an eyebrow obliviously, apparently confused by my bewilderment and acting as though her previous sentiment was entirely normal. "It's not that big a deal, since we're both girls and all. It's just efficient!"
"Indeed, there really is nothing abnormal about it, Jack," Darkness added calmly. "The three of us have taken many baths together before the luxury of owning a mansion made reliance on public bathhouses obsolete. What did you think when we would go together as a group and return all clean?"
"I-I don't know, I'd just assumed you…took turns?" I stammered, physically restraining myself from forming an awkward blush that'd be impossible to brush off. "L-Look, I don't know about you, but I'm a man who takes his privacy seriously, so imagine my discomfort when the men's bathhouse was all I had at the time for options. I'd have to wait till the dead of night when no one was around and sneak in just to clean myself, and even then I kept a towel on the whole time! Then of course the staff got mad when 'somebody' kept leaving soaking wet towels on the floor after hours, which made it harder for me to sneak in later nights and...just…UGH, I'm still pissed about it!"
"Yeesh, you've been holding onto that one for a while now, huh?" Aqua mused with a light chuckle, pointedly ignoring my scowl as she waved her hand dismissively. "You could have just told the staff you were a little shy, y'know! I'm sure they would have given you...I dunno, like a sheet or something."
I crossed my arms stubbornly and glanced away from her and the others. "Criminal masterminds don't gotta tell nobody nothing. Besides, we have our own bathrooms now, so it's a moot point. Anyway, I think I've vented enough to earn the right to take a bath first."
"Oh, not a chance. Dark, restrain him please!" Megumin chirped with basically no hesitation, ignoring my betrayed look as our crusader half restrained, half patted my shoulder while she and Aqua departed.
"We'll be quick about it, promise! Well, quick relatively speaking, anyway…"
"Darkness, what gives!?" I cried, struggling in vain to break free from the woman's gorilla strength. Even when oiled up in frog slime, I couldn't slip out, and she restrained me in such a way that I couldn't reach for my wrist com. "After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me? If I weren't kinda proud of you for using underhanded tactics, I'd be hurt right now."
"Oh, come now, Jack! No need to be so dramatic," Darkness replied, partially amused with my antics and keeping me still for the most part, without ever losing her grip on me. "It won't take them that long to wash up, you know. You'll have your turn soon enough, I promise!"
But I'm the leader! I should get the first call on anything and everything! That's how this works, damnit!
Wait, hang on…I think I still have enough mana left in me to use one more basic spell. And if I twist my left hand enough, I can just barely touch Dark's side. Hmm...
How's about a sneaky ice attack for ya, you smug double-crosser you~?
"Freeze!"
With a sharp, suggestive gasp that I made a conscious effort to ignore, Dark's grip on me went slack enough for me to break out of. Wasting no time, I activated the HeliBot and zoomed down the corridors to the main bathroom at a breakneck pace, only slowing down when I passed by a befuddled Aqua and Megumin. There was always time for an evil taunt or two.
"Don't mess with Jack Spicer! MuaHaHaHaHa!"
"Oh, you dick!" Megumin shouted after me, not that I cared in the slightest as I continued down the hall, ultimately coming to a halt outside the bathroom, allowing myself to be more than a little smug over things. That right there is why you don't mess with Jacky boy.
"Sorry, ladies, but a villain's hygiene comes first and foremost," I said smooth as silk once the two fuming girls finally rounded the corner. "Don't worry, I'll save some hot water for you after I'm done. Consider it a token of appreciation for playing dirty and using Darkness as a pawn for your own gain."
"Oh, as if! You're not getting away with this, Spicer!" Aqua shrieked, chucking her staff towards me with righteous fury!
Only for it to clatter a few feet away from me harmlessly.
Was this really the same person who used the exact tactic on Vanir and won? I don't even know anymore.
After a beat of awkward silence, Aqua proceeded to haul ass towards me with a very angry look on her face. I may or may not have let out a less-than-manly scream at the scary image and slammed the door shut right before the crazy goddess could lunge at me.
I locked the door a microsecond before a loud thud was heard followed by Aqua throwing another one of her childish crying fits again. I'd feel guilty…if she and Megumin hadn't started it. Time for my Saturday bubble bath!
After an hour or so, we'd all washed up and things had settled down for the most part, save for Megumin and Aqua glaring daggers at me with unprecedented venom. Luckily, I got the chance to escape for a moment when I heard a knock from the front door, moving down the main hall and swinging it open expectantly.
Standing before me was what I could only assume was the fantasy-equivalent to a mailman. Or courier. Or whatever the hell you'd call someone who works for a medieval postal service. Anyway, he was holding some kind of package under one arm and squinting at a clipboard in the other.
"Ah, hello sir. Is this the residence of one...Megumin?" He queried with a muted tone, clearly not too interested over the subject at hand. Without even waiting for a response, he proceeded to shove the parcel into my hands, turning around and heading back towards the gate with almost no pause. "Well, let's hope so. Have a good day, sir."
Annoyed at his attitude, I discreetly summoned a bot to give the rude mailman a little scare and have him running for the hills. While I was satisfied with the reaction, I did stare down at the mysterious package in my hands, wondering if Megumin had used some of our emergency funds to order something. I went back indoors, making a mental note to up security in the front yard.
Strolling back down the main hall, I emerged into the living room and approached Megumin, (who was still sulking away on the couch), offering her the package.
"Yo, M-Bomb. This is for you, apparently."
Megumin snapped out of her mood to stare down at the box on her lap in confusion. "The label says it's from my village? I usually only get letters from my family there. What could this be?"
"Hell if I know. Think it'll be anything cool?" I replied with a simple shrug, before noticing the roof of the box and the multiple holes poked into it, raising my eyebrows in bewilderment. "Uh...are those holes in all the mail you receive from home?"
"No, not really…" Megumin drawled, trying to peek through one of the many tiny holes. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost say she had a strange idea of what it could be. "Anyone got scissors or a dagger?"
"Try robots with sawblade fingers," I answered like a suave badass before calling JB-CUPC4K3 into the room. He was one of the many bots that opted to try out the new white look of their adamantite bodies, to give it a feel so to speak. It may have made my boys a little less uniform, but it did kinda match my skin, and there were still splashes of black and red to keep things consistent, so it was alright.
"Cupcake, if you would?"
"Right away, sir!" He replied heartily, before extending one of his fingers and carefully cutting the restraints of the package, before slowly opening it and peeking inside. "So, what do we have here – RAHGH!"
Managing to let out a screech not unlike a certain robot from Borderlands, CUPC4K3 suddenly zoomed away from the open box and hid behind a confused Darkness for cover. A bit silly given he and his brothers now had the same armor as her. Either way, that reaction of his did not invoke any good feelings in me, and I found myself taking a hesitant peek inside.
"…oh goddamnit."
Inside of the box was a small black kitten with bright yellow eyes, a red cross imprinted on its forehead, and what looked to be little bat wings on its back. Apparently, it was the cargo of this mystery package, not that it seemed particularly bothered by the fact. If anything, the little monster looked up at me is if it were already bored.
Megumin craned her neck to peer inside with me, and when she did, she seemed to smile warmly at the little beast within. "Chomusuke!"
"Gesundheit," I said without missing a beat.
"Huh?" Megumin asked, which was when I had to remind myself she didn't know German. She didn't seem to care much, however, as she went right back to the cat and scooped it out of the box, offering it a hug as she did so. "Aw, I missed you! What the heck are you doing here?"
"Ah, it appears there's a note as well," Darkness pointed out, reaching into the box and pulling out a piece of paper that was dotted with cat fur. I was so not looking forward to this. "Here, Megumin, you should read it. It'd be improper for me to read someone else's mail."
"Thanks, Darkness! Alright, let's see what we got here…" Megumin muttered, taking the note and reading it aloud. " 'Dearest Megumin, by the time you read this, we will not have made it. Cat food is terribly expensive this time of year and your darling little sister looked like she was going to eat Chomusuke. So we've sent her over to you for the time being. Hope you are well, please write back. Love, Mom and Dad'."
"Hold up, what the fuck was that first part?" I cursed out loud, completely caught off guard from how casual and dismissive Megumin was about it. "Are your folks…dead?"
"Hmm? Oh, sorry! Totally slipped my mind!" Megumin replied with a chuckle, waving her free hand dismissively while she held the cat in the other. "That's just how all Crimson Demons start their letters. Real drastic, y'know? Gives it pizzazz!"
"…that's like the writing equivalent of going into a public space and screaming 'fire' for no reason."
"Pssh, you guys are just boring is all," Megumin snorted, prompting me to throw my hands up in frustration and disbelief. Crimson Demons were so goddamn weird, they made me look normal, and I want to take over the world! "Regardless, now my familiar's here! I believe introductions are in order!"
Predictably, Aqua was the first to get excited over the "cute" kitty and skipped over to pet it. What we both didn't expect, however, was for the damn thing to immediately lash out and scratch her hand, hissing while its hair stood up on its ends like a true black cat.
"Gah! What the hell, Megumin?! Get your cat under control!" She shrieked, lurching backwards while clutching her hand, shooting the little fluff ball a venomous glare. "Little mongrel. Doesn't have any manners!"
"Might I try to pet her!?" Darkness asked excitedly, probably hoping to get the same unwelcome treatment as Aqua. Funnily enough, when the unsubtle horndog stuck her hand out expectedly, the cat seemed unbothered by her. In fact, she even nuzzled her head up against her hand and purred comfortably.
"Hah, that's some irony for ya," I chuckled in amusement as Darkness drew back her hand with a disappointed whine, before noticing that the cat was now staring up at me. I held my hands up in surrender. "Ah...no..?"
"What's the matter? Don't tell me you're scared she's gonna scratch you too," Megumin said to me. "I don't know what her deal is with Aqua, but Chomusuke is pretty friendly with most people!"
"Listen, M-Bomb, cats and I don't exactly mix. Remember when I told you about Katnappé, one of those two-bit villains I used to compete with? Yeah, well, she and her genetically altered super kittens did not do it for me or the bots, especially after they got done ripping them apart. Besides, I'm more of a dog person anyway."
"Lame! C'mon, I promise she's not super-powered or anything! She's just a kitty!" Megumin whined, extending the feline in my direction with a pleading look on her face. "Just give it a shot, man! Please? For my sake?"
Eyeing the jet black cat with caution, I stole a glance over at Aqua and JB-CUPC4K3, both of whom were silently shaking their heads "no" at me. Darkness just shrugged.
I sighed, closed my eyes, and turned my head away as I extended a shaky hand at the small demon in front of me…
Slowly, the cat leaned up to meet my hand and nuzzled into it like she did with Darkness, letting out an accompanying purr. In turn, I let out a deep sigh of relief and even took a minute to scratch behind the thing's ears, drawing out another happy mewl.
Hmm…Maybe not all cats were terrible...even if dogs were still leagues better.
"Hang on! So that means I'm the only one she doesn't like!?" Aqua cried indignantly, glaring at the fluffball while my scratching hand was on autopilot. "What the hell!? I'm, like, super likable! Rotten little creature…I sense a malevolent aura wafting off of that thing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was a demonic entity in disguise."
"Well, I think she's pretty cool," I admitted, smug that the cat liked me more than an actual goddess (even if couldn't fathom why). "Maybe you're just not an animal person, Aqua. I mean, a goddess can't be perfect at everything, right?"
"But I am perfect, darn it!" She insisted with a stomp before crying into Darkness' chest, who patted her head in an awkward attempt to soothe her. It always seemed like it was a neck-in-neck tie on who sobs the most between the two of us.
Tuning Aqua out, I stopped scratching Megumin's cute pet for a moment to squat down and talk to it in a baby voice. "Hey little fella, you wanna be our evil team mascot? You could help boost our marketability when we make TV shows and movies about our rise to power~"
Chomusuke meowed idly, not really responding to the question so much as just...existing. She did reach her paw out and lightly bopped me on the nose though. So I'll take that as a yes!
"See? I had a feeling you'd come around to her. Call it a Crimson Demon's intuition!" Megumin proclaimed proudly with a puffed up chest. After taking a second to bask in her own glory, she shot a quizzical look my way. "Also, 'evil team mascot'? Really dude?"
"What? All the best evil teams have a mascot. And now we have one," I argued calmly. "Besides, you have no room to judge if you start letters off with crap like, 'Dear so-and-so, everyone you know and love is dead. Anyway, how's the family?'."
"That's not evil, it's badass!" Megumin retorted, crossing her arms before reaching out and stealing her cat back from me. "Honestly, I expected you to have at least a little flair for the theatrics, Jack. How could you let me down like this?"
Oh. It's like that, is it?
Snapping my fingers, JB-CUPC4K3 converted his chest into a boombox which played my custom evil theme music. At the same time, another JackBot sneaked in from the back and started filling the living room up with smoke with his built-in smoke machine. Slowly, gradually, dramatically, I laughed my trademark evil laugh before speaking to the wide-eyed kid with gusto.
"Ah, Megumin. Sweet, young, naïve Megumin. I've absorbed the knowledge of nearly every fictional villain in my homeworld; I know all the tricks of the trade! Which taunts to break out, what hand gestures to make, the perfect length for evil monologues, I have it all down pat! You still have much to learn, my young evil apprentice. Much to learn indeed…"
By this point, both Darkness and Aqua were looking at me with matching expressions of utter bewilderment. But somehow, I had the strangest feeling that they also recognized this was just simply me being me. Call it a hunch I guess, but a reassuring one all the same.
Megumin, on the other hand, took my challenge for what it was and leapt to her feet with a dramatic pose, even getting her cat to join alongside her.
"I AM MEGUMIN! The Crimson Demon's #1 rated genius and wielder of the most powerful spell known to man! Your complacency has led you astray, thinking that I was your apprentice when, in reality, my criminal mastermind simply hypnotized you into believing that! My people are our own masters; not even the most likeminded of outsiders can tame the beasts sealed within each and every one of us!"
"AHA! Got you! You thought your criminal mastermind was hypnotizing mine? Well, what if that's what I wanted you to think? What if my mind was so powerful and evil that it hypnotized yours into believing you hypnotized mine into believing that you were my apprentice when that's really what you were all along this whole time? Amateur villain mistake. Don't worry, it happens to the worst of us~"
"...they're insane." Aqua mused half-heartedly, earning a slight nod of agreement from Darkness. Soon enough, however, she shrugged and cleared her throat. "Oh well, if you can't beat 'em! Ahem…YOU DARE BICKER IN THE PRESENCE OF THE DIVINE GODDESS OF WATER?!"
"And you dare to dare our daring? How DARE you!" I challenged menacingly, secretly overflowing with joy as my corruption seemed to be taking affect. "I square up against god-like beings for breakfast! You think I'm scared of Neptune's understudy?"
With an offended gasp, a fresh torrent of babble formulated in Aqua's mind, and just as likely in Megumin's and my own. For the next fifteen minutes, we basically just said nonsense to each other, bragging about nothing and everything before eventually devolving into hapless giggling. Even Darkness, who hardly gave in to our ridiculousness, couldn't help but laugh over the absurdity of it all.
So yeah, who knew a cat of all things could help bring us just a little closer together? Ashly gave me such a negative impression on felines as a whole, but Chomusuke showed me that they're not as annoying as I once thought. Guess this means I won't be making any BloodhoundBots anytime soon, unfortunately…
Oh well, there's always the prototype for a KnightBot! I am in a medieval fantasy world after all, so it's only natural.
Anyway, believe it or not, there was another incident that took place a few days after Chomusuke's arrival which ended up becoming another "family bonding" moment of sorts. Though the events leading up to it were a little awkward…
It still felt wrong to use Aqua for my recharges, and not the fun kind of wrong I live for either.
As I stood there, using Drain Touch to get another energy boost from my sleeping goddess friend in the middle of the night, I couldn't really think of better alternate solution. I burn through mana potions like crazy and I'm still a few Levels short from being able to switch to the BattleSmith class (which I hear gives an added bar to your magic meter). Really, the strategy I was using here was the most cost effective and productive.
Aqua sleeps like the dead and has a near endless supply of magic in her system already, so coming up to her room every now and again to "refuel" worked out in the long run. My lair probably wouldn't be half as functional as it stood now if I had to sleep every single night to recharge. Shit, why did Sandbox Mode have to be so magically goddamn taxing…?
But it's fine, though, totally fine! I'm sure I'll figure out a less weird method sooner I level up and get a mana upgrade, the better. I can't keep using Aqua as a battery forever. Who knows what would even happen if someone saw me like this?
"Jack?"
The shrill, girly shriek I let out was embarrassing as always, but I was more overtaken with panic as I turned and met Megumin's gaze. She stood in the open doorway with a horrified expression on her face, one probably all too similar to my own.
It was here that I realized I might've gotten lazy with my recent slip-ins and just left the door to Aqua's bedroom open for convenience sake. I wanted to blame my luck on this but…yeah, I got ballsy and now was paying the price.
"What…what are you doing?" She suddenly demanded, an honestly stern look crossing the kid's face, one that was only enhanced by the menacing glow of her crimson eyes.
"…This is a dream," I persuaded with wavy hands and a ghostly tone. "You're dreaming. Go back to bed and forget about it in the morning…"
For about half a second, I thought she was gonna buy it...but then her eyes hardened and she silently pointed for me to exit the room. With a quiet huff, I resigned myself to my fate and stepped out. After doing so, Megumin carefully shut Aqua's door, turned to me, and let loose.
"What the hell did I just see?!"
Jesus Christ, this girl's fury gives Wuya's, Chase's, and mine a run for its money!
"A-alright, n-n-now l-l-l-look!" I stutter-stammered due to the sharp spike in my anxiety. "Let me just get this out in the open: nothing perverted was going on in there, I swear. Pleasedon'thitme!"
An old nervous tick of mine suddenly flared, the one where I automatically shield my face from someone I severely pissed off. Though she was one of my closest friends, Megumin's angry glow-y eyes triggered the reaction regardless. Thankfully (somewhat), no punches came my way, only her hands removing my arms from my face as she sighed tiredly.
"I'm not going to hit you, Jack...yet, anyway," She huffed, drawing back her hands and crossing her arms and continuing to glare at me. "Just...explain to me what I just saw and why I shouldn't give you a beatdown you're not gonna forget anytime soon."
Sweat formed on my brow. Talk about no pressure, right?
Well, in any case, before I could even begin to think of what to say first, I was distracted by the thundering sound of footsteps coming down the main hall. Before I knew it, Darkness – still in her pajamas like the rest of us – came sliding into the hallway we were standing in with her gloves on and sword in hand, ready for action. An admittedly funny sight to behold considering her current "battle attire". Just try not to stare, Jack…
"Jack, Megumin! I heard a commotion! What's wrong!?" She explained as she came to a halt in front of us, before noticing our respective expressions and quirking an eyebrow, slowly lowering her sword. "Ah...I'm not interrupting anything important, am I? I just...heard the yelling, and figured…"
"Uh…yes and no?" Megumin answered in an unsure tone, her intimidation factor taking a hit in the process. Unfortunately, it came back soon enough when she resumed her glare towards me and poked my chest hard. "I was up to get some water when I passed by Aqua's room and caught Jack doing something suspicious to her while she was asleep. Now I want him to spill before I can decide what to do with him."
"Something suspicious...?" Darkness questioned, turning to me with a somehow half-mortified, half-elated expression. Honestly, I thought she was getting better at hiding it. "Jack, you couldn't possibly be doing anything inappropriate, r-right?"
"NO! Get your mind outta the gutter, woman! It's not like that!" I squawked pathetically, ears burning from frustration and embarrassment. "It was all purely business and clinical in nature! I was just, uh…y'know…r-refueling, so to speak…?"
"Aside from the number of euphemisms to be made there, that really doesn't sound any better." Megumin assured me in deadpan, shaking her head in what I imagined to be intense exasperation as she continued. "What the hell do you mean 'refueling'? Are you sucking her life force or something?!"
"You make me sound like a vampire! I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!"
"Oh my Me, do you guys have any idea what time it is? And why are you shouting outside of my room!?"
Off those muffled shouts, Aqua's doors swung open, revealing the positively fuming goddess on the other side. Normally, the sight wouldn't give me much pause, but in that current moment, given the subject? I nearly shrieked a second time.
"Believe it or not, I need beauty sleep too you know! I'm already feeling drained as is, so again, I ask: why the yelling outside my room?" Aqua enunciated, causing me to flinch when she just so happened to use the word "drained" like that. Very poor and ironically cruel choice of words.
"Apologies, Aqua! Megumin and Jack were just discussing how Jack was in your room doing...something less than moral…" Darkness replied, trailing off for a moment as she turned to me, apparently putting together the pieces faster than I expected. "Spicer…were you using Drain Touch on her...?"
My heart skipped a beat. I hesitantly stole a glance at Aqua, who was slower to catch on before putting two and two together herself and staring down with an irate glare worthy of an angry god. "Jack…is this true? Were you using an undead's ability on me while I slept? Is that why I haven't felt fully refreshed in months?"
"Ah...well...maybe a lil' bit...?" I murmured weakly under the intense glares of all three of my teammates, my face likely flushed a shade of red brighter than my hair. This was an utter nightmare, but there was no obvious way out either. I may just have to suffer through it and take my lumps as usual.
"Alright, look, before you girls beat me to a pulp, can we at least just…walk together while I explain?" I sighed in defeat. "I'm getting restless right now and I feel like I talk better if I move my body…please?"
Aqua scowled at me, but silently gestured down one of the longer halls in the mansion. Nodding, I started to walk, fiddling with my hands as the girls followed alongside me while I tried to find my words. It took a few seconds (the three of them glaring at me like bulls ready to charge did not help), but eventually I managed.
"Um…okay, so, let me just preface this by saying building an underground lair ain't cheap. Be it money for purchasing resources or magic points to spawn said resources, it's a Herculean task. Before, it'd take me weeks just to build six JackBot units, even with Sandbox Mode as my cheat Skill. My mana reserves still aren't big enough to keep up with my extensive workload. So, when Wiz taught me Drain Touch for the first time, I-I figured I could…y'know, b-borrow some of Aqua's near limitless supply of magic to 'recharge' while I pull all-nighters down in the lab…"
"You do realize in order to borrow something, permission is required, yes Jack?" Aqua seethed from my left, her glare holding strong even if it seemed slightly less murderous than before. "You could have just told me, you know. I'm not sure I would have let you use me as a battery, for Me's sake, but at least we could have talked about it! Mana potions do exist after all."
"I know they exist! The problem is that I spend and burn through them like crazy because I'm up late a lot!" I confessed in frustration before realizing how I raised my voice at three people still giving me varying levels of stink eyes. Glancing down the floor, I cleared my throat.
"A-anyway, I only drained you back then because that was before we were friends. Or, rather, that was before I was brave enough to see us as such. At the time, I figured that when you'd abandon me, I would've already had a base and robo-buddies built to keep me from feeling lonely. But then the thing with the Destroyer happened, one thing led to another, and now we're officially like a family type unit. But at that point, I was already in too deep with the Drain Touch situation and I didn't know what to do! I-I swear I've been looking into alternatives since then, but we're on a tighter budget now, a-and grinding for levels is really hard, and…and…I...!"
"Alright, alright! Settle down for a sec! Jeez, even when I'm pissed at you, I hate it when you get all weepy…" Aqua huffed, motioning for the group to stop and give me a second. Darkness even offering me her handkerchief as I tried to dry my tears. As if I wasn't embarrassed enough…
"Now look," She started with a tired sigh. "I'm not gonna act like I'm alright that you've been doing this. Honestly, I'm peeved you didn't just talk to us about this once we became friends. But I know now that you weren't trying to hurt me either. So, how about we work something out properly and with less stealing my energy like a specter of the night, okay?"
I nodded miserably as I finished drying my eyes with Dark's handkerchief, which I sadly might've ruined with my mascara running. It didn't seem like she was all that bothered by it, but I still felt guilty anyway. I handed it back to the crusader and addressed Aqua once more.
"Okay, yeah, this conversation's been long overdue. I think a part of me wanted to get caught so we could hash this out. Honestly, the only reason I didn't bring this up to you sooner was because…fuck, I know this sounds stupid, but I was afraid it would be like one of those moments in anime where the girl makes a mountain out of a molehill and assaults the guy like a deranged maniac."
"I'm...not so sure about that, but I think I can speak for all when I say none of us are going to assault you," Megumin replied with a confused look, not that I could blame her. She still had no idea what anime was, and I can imagine similar situations in Crimson Demon culture were handled more magically. "Look, man, as long as you stop using Drain Touch on Aqua – or anyone else – without permission, I won't give you any heat."
"She's right, we would never dare to get physical with you like that. We'd be no better than…them," Darkness muttered spitefully, and it didn't take a genius to know she was referring to the Monks. Even so, she pulled herself out of her little moment of righteous contempt and addressed me again, this time with a small blush. "T-though, if you really were that in need of a 'r-refuel', I would've been more than happy to lend you my boundless stamina you know. J-just say the word and I'll leave my door unlocked for you to siphon all my…my…uuu!"
"...yeah, Dark's convinced me this is a habit I need to drop like a hot potato," I mused, quelling what blush tried to rise on my face over the noises our crusader was making and turning back to the others. "Seriously, though, I'm really sorry it got this out of hand. I know I messed up here, and I'm willing to do what it takes to make this up to you guys...ugh, being responsible feels gross."
"Daaaw, is the 'big strong bad guy' secretly a tsundere?" Aqua suddenly teased, poking my side until I swatted her hand away. She giggled deviously, "Oh, calm down you! I think I've earned the right to mess with you a little after that stunt you pulled. As for what to do next…eh, let's figure that one out in the morning. Aqua is getting sleepy now…"
"Yeah, yeah. We should all probably get some rest," I agreed, admittedly relieved that things seemed to be winding down so simply. That really could have gone a lot worse. "Thank you guys, really. I know I'm still new to the whole friends thing, but I recognize you could've given me a lot more heat over this."
Megumin playfully punched my shoulder and smirked at me. "Yeah, well, while you can be a pain in the ass sometimes, we kinda know you inside and out at this point. So long as you keep stupid stuff like this down to a minimum, we won't bust your balls over it…much."
"I must concur with Megumin, you certainly mean well where it matters," Darkness chimed in with a light chuckle, lightly patting my opposite shoulder as she passed. "Growing pains are natural with these things, Jack. Just try to tell us next time, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get the point already," I grumbled half-heartedly, straightening my Frankenstein's Monster tee before starting for my own bedroom myself. "I may be a super evil genius, but I treat my companions well. I'll try to be more upfront with you guys about weird stuff next time. Just be patient with me, alright?"
"I make no promises~!" Aqua replied, chuckling as she stumbled down the hall in what likely would have been a skip if she wasn't already drained. "Night, everyone! See you in the morning!"
And with that, we all bid each other a goodnight (with me being the exception as I prefer to say "badnight" instead). While that talk might've been uncomfortable, I think it was ultimately for the better. Sometimes you just gotta rip the band-aid off in one fell swoop instead of agonizingly peeling it away.
With that in mind, I climbed into my bed and actually managed to fall into an easy sleep this time. Take that insomnia and night terrors! You're no match for Jack Spicer when he's got his evil posse looking out for him!
After breakfast the following morning, the girls and I held a proper discussion over my Drain Touch escapades and what to do about them. Believe it or not, we actually managed to come to a semi-reasonable compromise! So long as I agreed to at least TRY to get some better sleep in the future, Aqua would get in touch with Eris somehow (goddess voodoo I guess) and persuade her to allow her to modify the MP cost for my Sandbox Mode.
I don't know what she did to convince that luck goddess, but it seemed to work as now it's significantly less strenuous to spawn materials and tools for my machines! I still have to stock up mana potions frequently but I can definitely work with this!
Onto bigger and better things, highlight of the week; after a long, long, LONG download period, likely given the distance, I was finally able to download a few movies from back home! It was a tough choice, choosing what films to download given just how long the process took, but I feel like I chose correctly. After all, who doesn't like a story from a galaxy far, far away?
My posse and I glumly ate dinner together in silence at the otherwise boisterous Adventurer's Guild.
We'd just returned empty-handed from a quest to rid a nearby dirty lake of alligator monsters. Since killing the monsters was optional, Aqua suggested that she could purify the lake and drive off the Brutal Alligators since their kind apparently thrives in polluted waters. However, the moment she mentioned how the process would eat up half the day, I said to hell with that and ordered Megumin to blow the lake sky-high. I figured that was fastest and easiest solution from the start anyway.
Unfortunately, we were both a little too trigger happy because some of the gators miraculously survived the blast and started raining down from above like something out of a living nightmare.
Even though the bots cleaned up the mess and Dark got an extra fix by getting chomped on a few times (much to her unsubtle delight), we were reprimanded by the Guild for destroying the lake and denied our reward for the job. Under normal circumstances, I'd raise one helluva fuss, but it was pretty clear that by that point that the girls were out of energy, and frankly, so was I.
"So, um…h-how would you rate today's Explosion, Jack?" Megumin asked hesitantly, making her sound more like Yunyun than anyone else. Guess she must've felt partially responsible for today's failure if she was resorting to the dreaded small talk.
"Solid eight out of ten. The gators did kinda contribute to the badass factor, even if it did make me nearly wet myself, hehe," I replied with a small chuckle, not used to the raincloud that seemed to be hovering over my team. We needed a pick-me-up, fast. And I may just have the perfect idea in mind!
"Hey guys, remember those movies I told you about once? You know, that form of entertainment where I come from?"
Being the first to perk up, Darkness spoke. "Oh, you mean those things you and Aqua managed to find common ground to bond over? Why yes indeed! What about them, Jack?"
"Well, recently, with a little bit of tinkering, I managed to download a few of my favorites from back home so we could all watch them here!" I explained, all three girls lighting up at the prospect. "So, if you guys were up to it...why not crack one open tonight, see what you all think?"
"YES! FINALLY!" Aqua suddenly cheered ecstatically, wrapping me into an unprecedented hug. "I've been starved of mindless media for so long since coming down here! Best movie buddy ever!"
"Hey, HEY! What I picked isn't 'mindless', thank you!" I defended awkwardly, caught off guard with the hug and tried desperately to regain control of the subject. "For your information, I elected to start off with something fun; you ever see Phantom Menace?
I must've been getting better at reading people (either that or my blue-haired partner was more of an open book than I gave her credit for) because I quickly noticed how the light in Aqua's eyes faded the moment I popped the question.
Oh god…don't tell me she's one of those people who thinks the Prequels are an affront to Star Wars? We've been getting along so well over movies! I thought for sure she'd be able to pick up on the nuance Episodes I – III had to offer!
Then again…this was still Aqua at the end of the day. Maybe I just had too high of expectations set for her.
"The Prequels? Really?" She huffed, rolling her eyes at the offended gasp that immediately escaped me. "Look, they're not horrible or anything, but...aren't there those long, boring political scenes and the shoddy writing?"
"Okay, first of all, those political scenes only last like a few minutes at most and aren't even that plentiful to begin with," I started, feeling like I was back home getting into a debate with an online troll in a chatroom. "Second of all, say what you will about the dialogue, but you can't deny those movies helped expand the lore and world building of the series going forward. Plus, there's Battle Droids. I rest my case."
"Mhm, I guess…" Aqua muttered, crossing her arms and leaning back in her seat with a pouty expression, before snapping her fingers and brightening up slightly. "Actually, you know what? This is good, we can settle this: Darkness and Megumin have no idea what Star Wars is, so they're the perfect judges to see how it holds up!"
"Star Wars?" Megumin parroted inquisitively, an excitable glint in her crimson-red eyes as she spoke. "With a title as grandiose as that, I can't help but envision a great, cosmic war amongst celestial horrors among the stars up in the night sky! Color me intrigued…"
Aqua and I looked at each other in mutual amusement, our previous spat all but forgotten over poor, young Megumin's ignorance. She had a lot to learn about Star Wars as a whole, but that was to be expected given the fact that movies alone were a foreign concept in this world.
"I must concur with Megumin. These 'Star Wars' sound like such an extraordinary concept," Darkness added with an interested smile painted on her face. "Given the level of human advancement you've shared with us from your world so far, I can only imagine how your people's perception of the heavens differs from ours."
"Yeah, well, you guys are definitely in for a treat regardless," I assured them, though I imagined a bit of explanation was required given their current thoughts on the subject. "Just...go into it with an open mind, alright? Suspend your disbelief for the feature presentation."
With enthusiastic nods and thumbs up from each of them, I beamed in anticipation. Not only was I about to show my first ever friends something near and dear to me, but I was also about to be that guy who introduces Star Wars to people who've never seen it before! That's, like, two milestones for the price of one right there!
Plus, this was a great opportunity to flex my Wookieepedia knowledge on them. Bonus!
Sadly, my elation over introducing my friends to something I enjoy was dampened when my eyes fell upon a certain green clad adventurer and his partner tuning into our conversation, sitting at a table not too far away. Normally, I'd be a bit short with them, brush them off and so forth...but, in the spirit of sharing nerd culture with a fellow nerd, I considered making a one-time exception.
"Lemme guess, you overheard us name-dropping Star Wars and that got the geek boner rising, didn't it?" I asked smugly, holding in a snort when I saw Yunyun go beat red and heard Darkness fail to lecture me on being inappropriate while sputtering up a storm. "And here I thought you were above such Western masterpieces when you shot down my idea for tripping up the Destroyer like an AT-AT."
"I never said that. I just didn't think a sci-fi movie was a valid frame of reference for fighting a real life murder mecha," Satou remarked, cracking a small smile as he leaned back in his seat. "And for your information, I like Star Wars as much as the next guy. Personal favorite is Empire, take that as you will."
"It's Sith for me then Empire because both episodes end with the bad guys winning," I explained without missing a beat, smirking myself once we found ourselves in an easy conversation over mutual interests. "Also, funny how your favorite is Empire when that's the very film I got my first idea from. To quote Sheev Palpatine, 'Ironic…'."
"...wait, his first name is Sheev? Seriously?" Satou balked, making me realize he probably wasn't a hardcore, ultra-lore aware fan like myself. "The guy who killed all the Jedi in an elaborate war, pulled all the strings from behind the shadows...and his name is Sheev. That's a special kind of funny."
"Tell me about it. But his is far from the weirdest out there. You know that random guy who tried to sell Obi-Wan drugs at the beginning of Episode II? His name is literally Sleazebaggano."
I had a big stupid grin on my face as I watched Satou's mildly bewildered expression morph into the pure embodiment of disbelief. "I'm tellin' ya, man, Star Wars character names make Crimson Demon names sound average."
"Excuse me, you got somethin' to say about my people's names?" Megumin interjected, socking me in the arm and glaring at me with what I hoped was mock anger. She then pointed at Satou and mimicked the punching motion. "And that goes double for you if you ever say as much about Yunyun!"
It was then that her self-proclaimed rival abruptly gasped and slowly put her hands over her chest. "M-Megumin…! You really do care…"
"Do not let it go to your head. I'm only defending you for the honor of our clan!" Megumin swiftly replied, prompting a disappointed "aw" in response from the other girl. I shot her a discreet look, already fully aware that she secretly had her back.
Satou cleared his throat and said, "Anyway, if what you're saying is true and you actually managed to procure some movies from Earth…well, uh, heh, fuck – this is kind of awkward isn't it? Uh…think maybe you could invite me into your little movie night?"
"I can arrange that…for a small fee of course~"
For half a second, an irritated look crossed Satou's face. But, just as quickly as it appeared, he rolled his eyes and nodded at me with his arms crossed.
"Alright, alright, fine. All about that 'evil hustle', I see. How much were you thinking?"
I hummed in deep thought as I glanced up at the ceiling and scratched my chin. "Well, seeing as how the Guild denied us our rightful reward for clearing the lake of alligators…I'm thinking 300,000 eris."
This time, the irritation remained as Satou grit his teeth and looked at me with a much less patient expression. After a few seconds, he sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"That's a lot of coin for a single movie, Goggles, I'm gonna be honest with you..."
"Yeah, well, look at it from my side," I explained, both to simmer down Green Bean as well as Dark (who I could feel shooting me an unamused look from behind). "We're still up to our eyeballs in debt, we've been running into some bad luck with these recent quests, and…well, this was kind of supposed to be like a family event, y'know? Besides, I'm willing to let you join at all, aren't I? I'm not forcing you to do anything, Green Bean. The question is: how badly do you wanna see Star Wars again?"
"...you can be a terribly persuasive guy sometimes, anyone ever tell you that?"
"I do have my moments!"
Grumbling, Satou retrieved a small pouch from his belt and plopped it down onto my table, raising his eyebrows as he did so. "This does cover Yunyun too, right?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, sure, whatever," I mumbled half-heartedly as I stashed away the booty. Turning to face the girls, my enthusiasm returned as I said, "If you wanna save room for popcorn, I'd suggest you'd stop eating and start heading out! It's movie night, bitches!"
About a half an hour later, the six of us had gathered in the lab with our respective snacks (Megumin was allowed a strict supply), and sat down to watch the beginning of one of the greatest film sagas of all time. To be completely honest? It was one of the best nights I ever had!
We dragged the replacement couch we bought after our old one got repossessed down so the girls and I could get the best seats in the house. When I gave our guests the option between my computer chair and the ratty mattress I kept in storage, Green Bean unsurprisingly let Yunyun have the chair while he put up with the mattress.
Thankfully, I was able to put an end to his grumbling when I passed him my magic 3D snack printer, which he was naturally left amazed by.
As a final precaution before properly kicking off our movie night, I activated the "Belzerg" subtitle program so everyone could follow along given how the majority didn't speak English. Confident that it would do the trick, I set it everything up before joining the others on the couch and kicking back.
Given how awkward it was for the program to provide subtitles to the opening text crawl, I volunteered to read it aloud for everybody in a deep, theatrical narrator voice which netted me a couple chuckles. Of course, seeing as how this was a Star Wars movie, nearly all the bots crowded behind us to watch, cheering for the Battle Droids when they made their first on-screen appearance.
Also, as an important aside, robot violence in media has always been something of an awkward subject for me and my boys. But don't worry, I've long since reassured them that I would always be on Team Automaton in spirit. Besides, most of the JackBots have come to accept that it was no different than humans watching horror movies of their kind getting butchered and slaughtered. So it's like whatever, y'know?
Back to the recap: one of the few downsides of watching with newbies from an alternate world was that, at points, they got a bit confused. Every now and then I'd have to pause the movie, do some explaining (be it a scientific concept or a scene and its significance in the broad story), and resume once everyone was on the same foot. While somewhat annoying, I admit that I did take great pride in wowing them with my Star Wars trivia. Even Satou seemed somewhat impressed as I taught him some Expanded Universe facts he didn't know about.
Unsurprisingly, Megumin was glued to nearly all the action scenes, most notably the ones that had explosions in them. Though she remained adamant that hers were still superior even if she had yet to blow up a Droid Control ship herself. I didn't doubt her for a second.
Likewise, Darkness found herself transfixed to the screen. While no doubt projecting herself onto the butt of most jokes, Jar Jar, she was also quite attentive during the political scenes. I'd catch her sitting straight up and nodding along to "Queen Amidala" as she tried in vain to convince the Galactic Senate to help stop an illegal trade blockade. Figures a noblewoman like her could relate to political drama, even if it was done with literal aliens.
Naturally, my boys all got riled up during the climactic battle between the droids and the Gungans, cheering on their metal brethren as expected. Likewise, my fist pump when Darth Maul killed Qui-Gon did not go unnoticed, with Yunyun and Satou sparing me particularly mortified looks. Gotta root for the evil home team, y'know?
"He becomes a Force ghost later...sorta. Don't be a buncha babies," I remembered saying to them as I leaned back and took a self-satisfying sip of my cola.
"You worry me sometimes, Goggles…" Satou muttered, before tilting his head in consideration and correcting himself. "Actually, scratch that. You worry me often."
"Good. That means a villainous job well done on my end~"
Alas, the moment came where Darth Maul was cut in half by Obi-Wan and Anakin destroyed the Droid Control ship, signaling the defeat of the Trade Federation. Lame. But, knowing how the Prequel Trilogy ends, the "happy ending" here didn't really bother me all too much. If anything, I was smirking in amusement when Megumin, Darkness, and Yunyun collectively clapped when the Great Municipal Band in the final festival scene transitioned to the Star Wars end credits and their theme. That alone made the good guys winning slightly less painful for me to deal with.
Of course, since they'd both already seen the complete saga, Kazuma and Aqua both glanced at me with knowing eyes, actually getting a laugh out of me in the process. They knew me too well, I'll give 'em that.
"Well, now that the culture shock has had ample time to wear off, I must ask: what are you girls' gut reactions?" I asked expectedly while allowing the credits to play by on low volume. I already had a rough idea on what each of them thought about it, but I wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth regardless. "Didja like it?"
"That was freaking AWESOME!" Megumin shouted, perched upon the couch with a broad smile, visibly pumped up beyond belief. "I mean, those battles! The Podracing! The lightsaber fight! So COOL!"
"I have to agree, that was truly something else, Jack," Darkness supplied calmly but with an impressed smile all the same. "Even putting aside how the experience was like watching an elaborate play through a magic mirror, the story, characters, and worlds were unlike anything I've ever seen or read! I was also quite intrigued with the world-building affected by the Senate's red tape. Father and I have dealt with many corrupt nobles in it for themselves, so I truly felt for the queen of Naboo and her plight."
"The music was absolutely phenomenal, I've never heard anything like it before!" Yunyun gushed, having loosened up more than usual while watching the movie. "And the story, no less! There was so much depth in the surrounding world, so much left to explore!"
I took a smug glance over at Aqua. "Well, I believe our judges have spoken: The Phantom Menace is a hit, politics and all! You can get to work on that carefully crafted apology now."
"Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, I still have one card left to play!" Aqua replied, before turning to Kazuma and batting her eyelashes. "Sooo, Kaz. What were your thoughts on the movie?"
"While some of the performances were a little stiff at times and the dialogue could use a touch up here or there, I still think it was just as good as I remembered!" Satou answered without missing a beat, getting a sharp "HAH!" out of me when Aqua turned white at his response. "It's not perfect, but it is only one piece of an overarching narrative with its own self-contained story. So yeah, I liked it! Never imagined myself watching Star Wars in a fantasy environment though. Little surreal, but I'm sure as hell not complaining!"
I turned back to the still gaping Aqua with a shit-eating grin. "As I was saying, I'd like to have that well-worded apology letter on my desk by tomorrow morning if you'd please~"
Aqua huffed and crossed her arms, leaning back into her side of the couch while pouting. "Fine, fine. I'll give you this one; I had fun watching too. Even though I still think the Original Trilogy is better."
"Maybe so, but the Prequels have considerably more droids in them. So they're the best in our book!" chimed in one of the JackBots from the crowd, resulting in various beeps and boops of mutual agreement amongst my boys. As always, they made a valid point.
"Alright, fair is fair. There are plenty of droids in the Prequels. You win this round," Aqua relinquished, a small smile growing on her face as she leaned forward. "But can we at least talk about the little pet peeves people have about these movies? Like the whole thing between Padmé and Anakin?"
"Hmmm…I would, but that might be getting too deep into spoiler territory with these two here," I said, jabbing a thumb over at Darkness and Megumin before actually turning to address them. "And judging by your glowing reviews, I trust you're down for knocking out the rest of the saga? Yunyun's welcome to join in if she wants…oh, and Green Bean too I guess."
"Glad to be included as always…" Satou deadpanned, though his smile returned a few seconds later. "But yeah, it seems like we're all down to binge. Care to do the honors, Goggles?"
With a snap of my fingers, one of the bots excitedly hovered over to the computer I had hooked up to the widescreen and started clicking away, setting up Episodes II – VI for us to binge the whole night through.
A brief moment of realization dawned on me as I suddenly remembered how my original plans for a movie night marathon went bust shortly before I died and got reincarnated to this world. So, in a way, it was like things had finally come full circle, except now I had three stupidly awesome girls to add to my evil robot family…and Satou and Yunyun were there, which I didn't totally mind even if we didn't exactly consider each other friends.
…I wonder how Dust and his gang would feel about joining in on movie nights…
And that about wraps up the important stuff from this week! Working on downloading a few more movies for the future, get together or not. Already up to 20%, so that's good! Should only be another week or so till that's finished up.
Sadly, it seems no matter what adjustments or magical augmentations I make to my multidimensional network router, there's just no getting around that pesky time flow difference. Downloading anything from my old computer or online takes longer than dial-up internet, so it's just something I've come to begrudgingly accept. Not only that, but it's a one-way street too; can't send messages to YesBot or any of the other Earth-homeboys; only steal files and junk. I'll find a way to get in contact with them someday, just you wait…
For a nice closing while I round this log off, I am finally making some headway on the specialized bots. Half a dozen models should be ready in the near future, and a few more for when I finally get some payback on Princess Twerp for banning me from her crummy old city and making me pay a debt that'd make the U.S. blush! I'm confident my boys will be enough to scare the apple juice piss out of the kid, they always do.
Well, that's all I got for now. Jack Spicer, Evil Teen Genius and future Neo Devil King, signing off!