A/N: As always, I don't own the Potterverse.
boketto - (n.) the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking [japanese]
"Everyone thinks that being a Seer would be the greatest. Being able to see the future would be awesome, they say. Knowing how an event will play out before it even occurs could be so lucrative for you, they think. They only focus on the good parts of being a Seer. Not a single one of them thinks about the consequences.
They don't consider that, among the events you'll see happening, the deaths of everyone you know and love will be among them. They don't consider that you'll know with perfect clarity exactly how you yourself will die, who may be responsible for it, and know that no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to change it. That even if you somehow manage to arrange for the person or method of your death to no longer be an option, time itself will correct for your actions.
They don't realize that being bombarded with knowledge of what will eventually happen makes it very difficult to focus on what is currently happening. There's a reason all Seers are considered to be a bit batty; they don't have the choice to not be. The best Seers, able to force their focus into the real world most of the time, necessarily go a bit mad from trying to do so, and often cause themselves physical, internal damage as a result. You may have thought Seers live shorter lifespans on average because everyone is demanding too much of them; the truth is most of those Seers have demanded too much from themselves instead, and that demand is to try and stop their so-called gift. It's not a gift, you foolish wizards; it's a bloody fucking curse. One we suffer from every day of our often short and miserable lives.
You wondered why I am usually wandering the castle aimlessly, gazing into nothingness and talking about things that most people not only haven't heard of, but are quite certain can't be real? I do it to maintain my own sanity, and that statement alone would probably draw snorts of derision from most of the people I consider anything close to friends, much less those who didn't even take the time to get to know me and just chose dislike immediately.
I led a very lonely existence until you came into my life, and it is only because of you that I try so hard to appear normal. I know, you would be happy with me living life however I chose, but because I am associated with you now, people are looking closer at me than they ever have before, and 'crazy' is not a good look for a friend of the Chosen One. If the public at large discovered that I was a Seer, that magnifying glass would get closer and closer. Being your girlfriend on top of that? I'd probably be dragged in front of Ministry goons the next day under all kinds of trumped up charges just so they could keep me away from you. I can't let that happen, Harry. I just can't. I need you at least as much as you need me, and I know how much you truly need me."
"So for now, we stay a secret. Wouldn't be the first secret I've had to keep from Dumbledore and his merry band, probably won't be the last. Hermione can be trusted, and she'll help distract Ron from the truth. It's not like any of your housemates will ever clue in to this anyway, and the Gryffindor gossips already know what happens when something I don't like gets around, so we should be able to stay quiet until we get out of this place. Our day will come soon, my love, but somehow I think you already know that."
"And it is until then I wait."