AN: AN: Some responses to your comments.
I don't think men in general really pay attention to whether a guy might have a ring on their finger. Besides, many wear other rings, not just wedding rings. So I'm just assuming Chris didn't notice.
Also I am not sure all of you realize that Gigi is not a child anymore - she's not the innocent teenager I've written about in my other stories. She's over 30 years old, so she knows what she's doing and considering her and Rory have not been that close, I don't think Rory sees it as some major betrayal. She's more mad at Tucker, I think. And since they're all grown up, I don't think it's Chris' business really to know about it. And as I wrote Gigi being away traveling somewhere, I don't think it will really become something permanent anyways. So, sure, it might cause awkwardness once they do meet in person but I don't think they do that that often anyways so it's milder than many of you seem to think of it.
I think while we might want Logan to set Tucker straight, I don't think Rory would appreciate it at this point. This would be another man controlling her life, which is not what she wants. I want her to want to overcome this for herself, by knowing she has Logan in her corner.
By the evening of the following day, Logan and Eléa had settled back into their lives in Freeport, leaving Corinne and Rory in Boston for a few more days, after which the plan was for them to return together.
Rory and Logan had spent the weekend together, seeing the science museum, a show at local stand-up club, as well as having brunch with Paris, one of Rory's oldest friends. Logan hadn't known what he was getting himself into when he'd eagerly set foot inside Sonsie that Sunday, but had gotten Rory's cautioning pep-talk perfectly by the time he'd emerged.
Logan had faced a lot of intimidating people in his life, but somehow - this woman, Paris, was something else. It hadn't been terribly comfortable to realize that he'd known Paris's ex-husband Doyle either. It had been an interesting angle to hear about the guy through the eyes of his ex-wife, and with a healthy amount of criticism even if for completely different things that Logan himself would have complained about the guy from his past memories.
Logan hadn't seen Tucker; Rory having covered the drop-off, while he'd taken his daughter shopping. It was for the better, even if in the bottom of his stomach he just felt like punching the guy. But there was nothing good that would've accomplished, and at his age - he knew it.
After a day of enjoying being back in the house, home-cooked meals and a refreshing swim later, Logan was enjoying the evening by himself, being in the constant state of socializing, considering they'd stayed with Rory's father, and his kids. He'd even made them sit down for dinner all together, and it had been a mere few hours since the three had scattered all into different directions.
One of them had emerged from the game room, however, and presented him with an opportunity of another sort.
Logan watched his youngest son make his way from the kitchen to the living room couch, opposite to where he was currently sitting, enjoying his drink, and contemplated whether this was going to be the time. They were alone, but was Theo in the right mind set and willing to hear him out? He didn't want it to just come off as convenient, but he couldn't really keep it a secret much longer than he had, in fact, taken his first wedding ring off his finger.
He'd considered taking Theo on an outing, just the two of them, but all the activities he'd managed to think up just hadn't seemed serious enough. He didn't want to take him out on the boat and force him to stay there, without escape, with him, not wanting to ambush him to talk about things that were no doubt a little painful. He'd also considered just taking this into his office, but it was the office set-up - the desk - that created a power-dynamic he wasn't eager to establish with his children. The latter had been his father's style, and the best he could think of doing was doing the opposite.
"Hey! Can we go outside for a bit and talk?" Logan asked, wanting to just get this done. It was necessary, and even if the beginning felt a little forced, he knew that it was better to push this a little.
He'd managed to say it just as Theo was in the process of taking a seat, hence the boy let out a mild groan.
"If we must," Theo replied and rose back up.
Logan did what he knew - and opted for a move not too different from his father's - and poured a second glass of scotch to bring along. He just didn't know many alternatives that said 'you're a man now, and I'd like to treat you like one'.
Logan slid the terrace door open and flipped the switch of the fireplace down by the water, lighting it. On second thought it looked a little too romantic, causing Logan to regret the move for a second. But it beat sitting in the pitch darkness.
The drink in Logan's hand certainly added a cool factor to him, and Theo accepted it gladly once seated by the fire.
"So, what's this about?" Theo beat Logan to the gist, clearly not appreciating the 'talk' part of the evening much.
"You know, I've always admired you for your ability to just get to the point like that," Logan said.
"I just don't see the point in circling around things," Theo said and took a sip. This clearly wasn't his first scotch.
"I just wanted to…," Logan began, having gone over this a hundred times in his mind by now. But what he actually said, was much like his son, beating to the point. "I wanted to give you this," he said, and took the wedding ring out of his pocket, and handed it to him.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Theo asked, not daring to take this whole thing seriously, in part as a defense mechanism.
"It's my wedding ring to your mother. I've worn this for a long time… and while I have the utmost respect for her, I think it was just time for me to move past it. Not just because of Rory, like you may assume but more for myself. I hope you can someday understand that," Logan began to explain things.
Theo remained silent, but didn't leave. It was half the victory, Logan figured.
"Now, I want you to know that I'm deeply sorry you never got to know her. Maybe some part of you even blames yourself for that. If my opinion counts for anything - I hope you don't. It wasn't your fault. For years I blamed myself too for various things but I know it wasn't my fault either. And sure, things could've been better in my former marriages. I could've gotten to know your mother better in those short years that we were together to be able to tell you something other people haven't told you about her already, I could've been around more, I could've thought about how my actions affected you guys more. You're more than free to think I was being an idiot and selfish. I probably was. Maybe someday you'll realize how sometimes in life behaving like that can be a self-preservation tool…not that it's an excuse, just an explanation at best. It was just my way of dealing," Logan added and sighed.
"But I do think that you should have this ring as a symbol of how much your mother loved you, even before you were born. She always sang to you and talked to you, so I think it'd be right for you to have it. Whether you'll just keep it in your sock drawer or find some purpose for it… doesn't matter," Logan said, pouring out his thoughts. He hated how this last part sounded a little mushy, but he'd wanted to add something deeper there.
"I know it wasn't my fault, you know," Theo said, turning the ring between his fingers. He didn't really know what to do with it, but he wasn't feeling like objecting to the gesture either. Maybe he was just too young to grasp the symbolism, but he knew better than to just reject it.
"Good," Logan exhaled.
"Aunt Honor got me her medical records a few years ago," Theo gave the rational explanations.
Logan shook his head, thinking out loud - "Of course, she did. Not sure I appreciate that but, if getting the facts worked for you, then great."
For a moment the two sat in silence, sipping quietly their drinks. So, it was done - the ring was off, and Logan had given it to the one person in his opinion should have it. He even had Liam's approval on the fact as he was the child who'd actually held memories of his mother, unlike Theo. The ring, the stories, occasional home videos and photos were really all Theo had.
"Honestly, I've never really understood why you kept wearing the ring after she passed," Theo shared.
"I'm not sure I really understood it myself," Logan replied.
"You're weird, you know that?" Theo chuckled.
"I guess I am," Logan admitted. "Maybe part of me thought you'd take it badly if I no longer didn't," he added.
"Maybe when I was younger," Theo shrugged.
"I wasn't completely wrong then," Logan reflected.
"So, you and Rory, you're going to get married?" Theo asked a moment later.
"Whoa, whoa… where did you get that?" Logan reacted.
"Well, it sort of makes sense. You are taking it off now. You're clearly serious about her. I don't think you'd be hanging around her in front of us otherwise," Theo explained.
"We've only been together a short time. But I am serious. I just don't really know where it's gonna go yet," Logan replied. "I wouldn't have guessed you were so fine with it, frankly… from the reaction you and Eléa gave that time.," Logan added, referring to the time his kids had pretty much blamed him for abandoning them for the night. It hadn't been his brightest moment going AWOL just like that, but it had been just a lapse of judgment, not thinking it'd be a big deal since he'd only been next door at the time.
"It's your life.," Theo chimed, shrugging his shoulders.
A few silent sips later, it was Theo who broke the silence to Logan's surprise.
"Do you think it'll be a problem… with Corinne I mean? It's almost like we could be in the same family if you do end up marrying Rory someday," Theo discussed.
Logan knew he needed to tread very carefully now.
"It's not like you'll actually be related," Logan replied, innocently.
"No, that's not what I meant," Theo said.
"Okay, what then?" Logan asked, playing intentionally a little oblivious.
That wasn't taken too well by Theo, causing him to sigh uncomfortably and rub his neck.
"I mean, do you think she hates me? Will she hate me?" Theo asked.
"I'm the wrong person to ask that," Logan shrugged.
"Rory hasn't talked to you about what happened?" Theo replied with some surprise in his tone.
"Not to any great extent. Just that she was taking the rejection pretty hard… that's all I know," Logan said, holding up his hands
"Well, that was pretty much the gist of it," Theo admitted, reluctantly.
"So, what happened? If you don't mind me asking," Logan tiptoed closer to the gist, hoping to truly understand what the problem had been.
"I just didn't feel it," Theo confessed quietly.
"That happens sometimes," Logan said, trying to identify with the situation. But it was more easily said than done, as he had the capacity of compartmentalizing so well, he could totally isolate the physical from the emotional.
"Yeah," Theo snorted, sounding disappointed.
"Can I ask?" Logan began, tentatively.
Theo shrugged.
"I saw you two together a couple of times. It looked like you two were hitting it off. Why did you lead her on if you didn't want things to progress?" Logan asked.
Theo looked uncomfortable, and ran his palm over his face.
"I mean - you don't have to answer me, but I'm just sure it's something Corinne must be wondering about. Maybe you should explain it to her," Logan suggested. He really didn't need to know, not unless he was ready to share.
"I do like her. It' just not…," Theo shared.
"Not romantic?" Logan finished his sentence, picking the term 'romantic' over 'sexual', assuming it'd be seen as even more gross by his son coming from him.
"I guess. She's funny and interesting. I just don't know how to just do just that without causing her to hope for more," Theo replied, actually sounding like he was looking for some fatherly advice.
"I don't have a magic answer for you, I'm afraid," Logan sighed. "But I guess if all else fails - I guess just being honest about it might be the way to go?" he suggested.
"I don't think she'd understand," Theo replied.
"You'd be surprised how understanding people are these days about...," Logan began, but bit his lip. There were so many things wrong with his statement in his opinion, and he really had promised himself not to push his son into coming out sooner than he was ready to, having read a little about it by now.
"What? You think I'm gay or something?" Theo replied, raising his eyebrows.
"Well - are you? It's okay if you are and if you aren't… and you don't even have to tell me," Logan fretted.
"I'm not," Theo replied.
"Oh," Logan reacted, feeling puzzled.
"I'm not sure what I am… I…," Theo stuttered.
"Well, there's no hurry, is there?" Logan said on automatic, not really understanding what were the alternatives his son was even referring to.
"I'm not sure. Maybe it's just that I haven't met the right person… or I don't know, maybe there's just something wrong with me. Some hormonal imbalance or something. But I just don't feel anything. My best guess, right now, is that I might be asexual. Being gay, straight or bi or whatever else would be a relief… at least then I'd be normal," Theo confessed.
Logan remained quiet, trying to wrap his brain around it. He couldn't imagine life without sexual attraction, sex and all that combined into love. Could one even love if one didn't have those other types of attractions? Logan honestly didn't know.
"You and Liam, you're just…," Theo replied, breaking down a little just then. The boy was fighting tears, and Logan, having never been faced with a crying teenage boy before, was at a loss as to how to react.
"It doesn't matter what we are. We just are - we can't help it either. And you are the way you are. I don't want you thinking you're somehow abnormal because of this… and if it's a specialist you want to see, then that's something we'll see to. I'm grateful that you told me, and you shouldn't feel any pressure at putting a label on yourself… you are who you are," Logan did his best to assure him that he wasn't going to be disappointed in him.
Logan could almost imagine what being the youngest boy in their family must've been like, seeing him and Liam going after woman after woman, not that he himself intended to keep that trend up now that he was with Rory.
"I'm sorry if I've somehow made this harder on you," Logan said, and placed his arm over his shoulder. He hadn't done that since the one time he'd made it to his soccer game when he was 5 or 6. That day the nanny had gone home early with a stomach bug, and Logan, looking very out of place, had been called to pick him up. It hadn't been a comfortable moment for him, forced to face what every father did while he was in the office. He'd struggled to comfort him after he'd gotten that scraped knee that day too. It had been the first of many wake-up calls for him, and he had truly needed many.
"So, you see, why I'm not too thrilled about going to school in this small town," Theo added, shedding light to another layer that must've been bothering him.
Logan wanted to say he'd have his brother there, but he wasn't. Liam was starting Yale.
"Yeah," Logan sighed, understandingly. Discrimination for whatever reason was frowned upon, naturally, and being gay, bi or straight was widely accepted. In some schools, it might've even been considered kind of trendy, some of the kids doing it for the sake of experimentation rather than need as he saw it. But small towns were uncomfortable that way, and he had just forced his son to move here and have to define himself for a whole new bunch of teenagers, who were mean to begin with.
"I'll happily homeschool myself; you know?" Theo added, sounding like he was joking.
"Yeah, sure you can," Logan confirmed, chuckling lightly. But he knew there was some serious thinking to be done.