The Devil in Paris, Chapter 12

The Return of Better

…..

Don't own, let's go.

….

A new friend returns, bringing her own set of hilarious problems. But there are problems far less hilarious barely a stone's throw away…

…..

"And you say you're a demon?"

"That's what Earth-descended humanity calls us." He fumbled with his key-card.

"You don't look like a demon," mused Rena Rouge.

"What's a demon supposed to look like?"

"Uhm. Good point." Red Wasp-Chloe-sniggered.

"Anyway, our proper name is shadonai. Here we go." He got his key card out and inserted it into the lock.

"Why do you keep saying, 'Earth-descended'?" asked Ladybug. She, Red Wasp, Rena Rouge, and Cat Noir, who was bringing up the rear, were accompanying Damien back to his apartment, where he'd promised to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, at least about himself. Too many things had happened, too many red flags had sprung up, and he felt they needed to know the truth, in spite of the danger.

"Because this isn't the world humanity evolved upon. But that's a different story for another time." He opened the door and made as though to turn on the lights.

"Damien!" A slim form leaped at him out of the darkness, slamming into him with the force of three football tackles, bearing a surprised shadonai to the ground.

Red Wasp-Chloe Bourgeois-flicked on the lights-to behold Damien writhing underneath an unclad female form. A female form that was extremely busy smothering him with kiss after passionate kiss. A form they all knew... "Kagami! Why are you naked?!" Ladybug and Rena Rouge moved through the door to see.

Hearing the commotion, Cat Noir moved up to the doorway, which was still open. "I heard a shout, what's wrong?"

"Don't look!" Both Red Wasp and Ladybug simultaneously turned and, in perfect unison, socked him in the jaw, sending him flying back into the hallway.

"Oh, Cat! I'm so sorry!" said Ladybug.

"I'm not," chortled Red Wasp.

Ladybug rushed to Cat Noir's supine butt-in-the-air form. "Yep," she heard him mutter, "Stars, moons, birds, monkeys, and old Popeye cartoons, all swirling around my head. Just like they say."

She rushed to his side, knelt down by him. "I'm so sorry. It was a reflex. Are-are you alright?"

He tried to get up. "Aside from a whale of a headache, I'm fine. But, uh, do hallways normally spin around and around like this?

"I always wanted you to hit on me but somehow I had something else in mind."

She smiled and whapped him lightly on the shoulder. Typical male. He'd be alright. "Lech," she said.

"Hormones," he said. "Can't help it. Don't really want to."

She helped him get up and move over to the wall. "Look, just sit here and lean against this wall. And uh, stay here. Don't go back into Damien's room until I give you the all-clear, okay?

Back in the apartment: "Kagami?!" exclaimed Rena Rouge. "What are you doing?!"

"Heh," chuckled Red Wasp. "I know what she's doing. You go, girl!" She fist-pumped, obviously enjoying the show. "Woo hoo!"

"This-mmph!-isn't-mmph!-isn't Kagami. Look, little help here?" He lifted the naked girl off him. "This is Better."

"She's better than Kagami? H-how would you know that?" There was apprehension in Rena Rouge's voice.

"No, that's her name. Her name-mmph!" Undeterred by their now-vertical state, the still-naked girl had once again leaped upon him, wrapped her legs around him, and continued her kissing spree. "*-is Better."

"C'mon, Wasp, we need to separate them."

"Why?"

"Be careful!" He turned to Better. "Better, don't-mmmph!-y'know, do anything to, to 'em. Or anybody." He turned to the others. Ladybug had joined them, after making sure Cat Noir wouldn't see anything embarrassing, though the girl currently smothering Damien with kisses didn't seem the least bit embarrassed. Ladybug gasped and put her hands to her face. "Kagami?! What. Are. You. Doing to that poor demon?" Rena Rouge was trying to pull Better off Damien without any success whatsoever; Red Wasp was no help at all ("Ha ha! What isn't she doing would be a much shorter list!").

"She's not Kagami. Mmmph! Her name is Better."

"Better than Kagami's?" Ladybug joined Rena Rouge in trying to remove Better from her iron-clad grip on Damien.

"No, that's her-mmmmmph*" Another three kisses. She didn't seem to have a "stop" gene. Or was unwilling to use it, one of the two. "*-name. And be careful. She's a-mmph!-a-mmph!-a-mmph!-a reality-bender."

"A-oof!-what now?" Ladybug and Rena Rouge were trying, unsuccessfully, to pull Better off Damien. Chloe was no help whatsoever, incapacitated, as she was, with laughter.

"Go ahead! Let her have him! It'll do wonders for them both!"

He glared at her. "May you be the first victim of retroactive birth control." To the others: "She can-mmmmmph*" Two more extremely enthusiastic kisses. "She can make things-mmmph!-make things-mmmph!-happen." He turned to the girl in his arms. "Look, Better, hold off, okay? Just leave off for a moment. I have to explain some things to them."

"Oh, pooh," she said, pouting. He noticed that Better could really pout when she wanted to. And apparently, right then, she really wanted to.

"Ah, yeah," he looked around. "Look, let's go into the bedroom."

"Oh, yes! Yes!" she said, clasping her hands in front of her.

"To get you dressed, Better. You can't run around naked!"

Another pout. "Why not?"

"Yeah," asked Chloe, eating an apple she'd found in Damien's kitchen. "Why not?" she asked, completely oblivious to Ladybug and Rena Rouge's glares. ("You're always eating," Ladybug had once complained.

Chloe had just pointed to a number of her magickal wasps that were hovering nearby. "Hey, don't forget I'm eating for ten thousand!")

"Because…because you just can't, that's all."

"Oh, pooh. But okay."

"We'd best go with them," said Ladybug. "From that look in her eyes, first time she gets near a bed, she's gonna jump him again."

"Yeah," laughed Chloe, "Wouldn't wanna miss that show." She noticed the glares of the others. "What?"

Ladybug held up a finger. "This is our friend, Chloe. Not a private porn show."

Now Chloe pouted. "Spoilsport. But okay. No porn show. But, uh, what about Cat Noir, out there in the hall?"

"Oh, gosh, I hadn't thought of that." She thought for a minute. "I'll check on him. At least he listens to me. Well, sometimes. Well, once in a while, he does. Er, well, actually, he's been known to. Once, at least. I think. At least, that's what that guy said. Rena Rouge, you and Chloe go with them into the bedroom." She turned to Red Wasp. "And no funny business, understand?"

"Understood." And she saluted.

But nobody saw that she had the fingers of her other hand crossed, behind her back.

In the hallway: "What," asked a groggy Cat Noir, who was holding his chin, working it back and forth. Yes, it was still attached to his head, albeit painfully. "-was that all about? You don't usually hit me. Chloe, I can understand, but you? I mean, except for that one time I can't clearly remember. Maybe that other time. And, uh…no, you told me that one didn't happen in real life…"

She'd knelt beside him, as he wasn't able to get up just yet. "Ah, Er, Uhm, Girl stuff."

"Girl stuff," he repeated. He gingerly felt his jaw, only to quit when the pain increased. "Ow." Then, "I will never understand girls."

"Join the club. Look, just stay here, okay?"

"Why?"

"Just…just because, okay? Trust me on this. I'll let you know when it's safe."

"'Safe'? There's danger?"

"Not as such. Just trust me on this, okay? Stay out here and, and, and, be the lookout. Don't let anybody come in, okay?"

"That's a lot of 'okays' but okay. You know I trust you, Bug-a-boo."

"Don't call me that," she said with a smile. In truth, she was getting used to the term of endearment, and wasn't as offended by it as she once had been. Not from him, at least. "I'll let you know when it's okay to come in."

"Even more 'okays.' But…alright. I'll wait right here. That is, as long as my charge holds out. You need to watch that, too." Chloe was not familiar with their civilian ID's, and it was universally held that that particular condition was one to be preserved.

"Oh, gosh, I forgot all about that." She grabbed the sides of her head. "But you're right. I'll be careful. If you have to transform back, well, do it." She headed back into the apartment.

In Damien's bedroom: a still-naked Better was resisting being clothed, preferring instead to make another flying leap for Damien. "But I like it this way. The sensations…."

"It'll be good this way, too. The feel of fabric on your skin…" said Damien, emerging from the closet with a set of girl's clothes.

"Ooooh. You have girl's clothes in your bedroom closet?" Chloe laughed all the harder. "You naughty boy you!"

He gave her a sour look. "They're my sister's. For when she stays here. Don't have an orgasm, Chloe."

"Too late!"

He turned to Better. "Here, Better. Put these on."

"But I-"

"For me? Please?"

She caressed his face. "Anything for you, my love." She began to don the clothes. They didn't really fit but her reality-warping powers form-shaped them to her body.

How did she get so infatuated with me? Me, of all people? I don't understand.

At that exact moment, the red phone rang. "Oh, grief. Uhm, I have to go answer that."

"Is that that possessed phone of yours?" asked a suddenly-pale Rena Rouge, nervously.

"'Fraid so. Just stay here, stay out of sight, stay quiet, and let me handle this. And don't say anything." At the door, he turned. "And Better? Keep on dressing, okay?"

"I will, my darling." Her words positively dripped love.

What did I do?

The red phone: "Okay, big bro. What are you doing?"

"Me? Nothing!"

"Don't make me come up outta this phone, Damien Tennian BenDarian. Now back up and try again, only this time, lead with the truth."

Busted. He never could lie to her. "Well, I told you about Better, didn't I?"

"You don't mean-*"

"Yes. She's back."

"GET HER OUT OF THERE!"

"I can't, Deanna! She has no place to go!"

"EXCEPT INTO YOUR PANTS!"

"No, she won't. Look, she needs us. And we need to find out how she escaped the Darkness."

There was a brief pause. Then, "O-kay. We do need to know that, and I admit you're the best person for that job. But I'm still coming up there next leave! Count on it! Until then, I'm sending you a male chastity belt! Wear it!" And there was a click! as the connection closed.

Damien turned, sensing strong emotions, even while he wondered just how a male chastity belt would work, finally deciding he didn't really want to know. Better stood just outside the bedroom door, a downcast look on her face. "We couldn't stop her," said Ladybug.

"You don't want me here," said Better.

He moved up to her. "That's not true. I do want you here. I care about you, Better. But I do need-we all need-to find out how you escaped from the Darkness."

"That's what that awful place is called?"

It was against his better judgment, but she seemed so disheartened that he couldn't resist taking her in his arms. "Yes, it is. And it's the worst place you could imagine. You know; you've been there." He held her closely. "Look. You can sense my emotions the same way I can yours. You know I care about you. I care about you a lot."

Her arms were already around him. "That person on your communications device sure didn't."

"My sister's a little overprotective. Okay, a lot overprotective. Okay, mega-overprotective. Maybe mega-super-overprotective. But let me handle her, okay?"

"Your sister?"

"Yes." Then he noticed that she was attired in an exact duplicate of Kagami's usual outfit: buttoned white jacket, red plaid skirt with black stockings, complete with Kagami's hairstyle. At his inquiring gaze, she replied, "I sensed you liked this look. So…you…do like it, don't you?" Her voice reflected uncertainty.

"I like you, Better. It doesn't matter what you wear or what you look like." She smiled up at him in pure love. Little pink Valentine hearts formed in mid-air around her head and shoulders and began to float up towards the ceiling, popping like soap bubbles halfway up.

Good Lord, thought Ladybug. There she goes again.

"Uhm," began Rena Rouge, "Maybe we should give them some privacy…?"

"Why?" interjected Chloe, sounding honestly puzzled. She already had her cell out, ready to record the juicy stuff. But underneath the glare of the others, she rolled her eyes. "Oh, all right. Have it your way." She put the phone away.

"But we'll sure miss a good show!"

…..

Better moved in. Or rather, remained in. "Ooooh," she moaned, on Damien's bed. "Such a nice bed. So soft…"

"Uh, Better? We won't be sleeping together." At her expression, he hurried to amend that. "At least not yet. I mean, this is all kinda sudden for me."

She embraced him in a decidedly amorous hug. "Then let me make it un-sudden for you. The sensations…the wonderful sensations…!

"I want to enjoy them with you. You, and only you."

"All in due time," he said. He sighed an internal sigh. There was no way she could know of his private pain, why he was so reticent when it came to discussing it. "And we have all the time there is." But inwardly he wondered. If Deanna, or, as he occasionally called her, 'Short Cord"-arrived, it'd be World War Three, Four, and maybe Five.

And he didn't want to see Better hurt. In any way. He did care for her, just not in the way she wanted him to.

No one could know why. Not even his sister.

"We're gonna have to do something about your appearance."

"What's wrong with my appearance?"

"Nothing. It's just you look too much like a friend of ours. If you two met out there, somewhere, there could be, er, confusion…"

"I can do something about that." She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

Her hair began to stir, as though it had a life of its own. Then it began to stretch down towards her shoulders, lengthening down towards her shoulders, and draping down around them. "How's that?"

"That's, uh…" He started to say "better" but refrained. "That's remarkable. You still look a lot like her but that's fine. At least we'll be able to tell you apart."

Again her arms went around him, and she laid her head on his chest. "But wouldn't you rather I look like her?"

He pushed her back just far enough to tilt her head up, to where he could look her in the eyes. "Better. I like you, not your appearance. Now to find you some clothes that don't look like hers."

"Easily done," she said, and her apparel turned a pure, almost blinding, white. The skirt became trousers, the blouse a tunic, all of it matching. She pirouetted in place. "How's this?"

"Good, good. But we'll still get you some regular clothes. It won't hurt anything, and might help. This is Paris, after all, and fashion is the national religion." He checked the time, not needing anything so primitive as a watch or cell phone, even though he had both. "We're to meet with Marinette and Ayla downtown in a few minutes. They know way more about women's fashions than I ever will."

"But…I have no-what is it called? Money! Won't that pose a complication? I understand it's a needed commodity, here in this world."

He produced several cards from his wallet. "Not to worry. I got this."

….

The Avenue des Champs-Elysees: Damien was hoping he could afford this. His little job at the school really didn't pay all that well, but it needed to be done.

Marinette and Ayla, in their civilian forms, met them outside of one of the more upscale establishments. They both put up their hands over their eyes; Better's blinding-white garment was, well, blinding. But once indoors…

"Okay," said Ayla, "Everyday apparel. Let's see…right over there." She led Better over by one department.

"Damien?" Marinette sounded concerned. "Uh, this won't be more than you can afford, will it? 'Cos if so, I'm sure the two of us could chip in…"

"No, I believe I can manage. I'm more worried about…you know." It was no secret to him about Marinette's and Ayla's "extracurricular activities." Compared to his own secrets, theirs were as bland as milk. He'd promised to explain as much as he could to them, but Marinette, at least, was savvy enough to determine that his secrets must make theirs look like a surprise birthday party by comparison.

And somehow, perhaps because of that, she knew he could be trusted with their secrets. While he'd not said anything, she could sense his secrets were several orders of magnitude greater than theirs. Change the subject. "So…how did you meet this, uh, Better, did you say her name was?"

"That's part of the whole story I've promised to tell you. For now, just suffice it to say that she, like me, is not from around here. Way not from around here."

"Alright, I'll hold you to that. I may as well; if I didn't, Ayla definitely would."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I only hope we all don't regret it."

"We'll take that risk. Meanwhile, why don't you look around? You might find something for yourself."

He visibly relaxed: a safe subject. "I might do just that. There's a…shirt I need to replace."

"It get torn? I can sew."

"It got disintegrated." Before she could say anything else, he ducked down one of the men's aisles, leaving her standing there, shaking her head. This was shaping up to be some explanation.

He turned down one aisle, then another, checking behind him to make sure he wasn't being followed. He'd told Better not to use her reality-bending powers; just go along with Marinette and Ayla, watch them, and learn from them. After all, she was going to be living in the human world; it behooved her to have some good, positive role models.

Such was his preoccupation with what might be transpiring a few aisles over that he practically ran into the absolute last person he wanted to run into: Kagami Tsurugi.

…..

Far out in space, the strangely colored blip darted one way, then another. This was very frustrating; there had been a definite signal here, somewhere relatively close by. So where could it have gone?

The ruling intelligence was aware, in a dim sort of way, that its senses were not up to par, but it had nothing else to go by. So, lacking anything else, it continued to search…and search…and search.

Once, simply in an effort to get its bearings, it stopped on a small, moonless planetoid, and found itself a seat upon which to sit and ponder this latest, most distressing turn of events. The seat it found for itself had an inscription upon it: "Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon July 1969, A.D. We came in peace for all mankind."

But when the entity arose to continue its searching, it said none of those things, having been melted into slag as though from enormous heat.

….

Earth: Damien's head jerked up. He'd sensed something, but couldn't tell what or where it came from. Then, instantly remembering Kagami, in front of him, he brought himself back to the here-and-now. "I'm sorry, Kagami, I…thought I heard something. And I'm sorry for almost running you over, too."

"That's…quite alright." She smiled a tiny smile. "You left a little space between us." She glanced down the way he'd come…from the women's section, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Oh, that?" He recovered. "My, uh, cousin is visiting, and Marinette and Ayla were kind enough to offer to show her around. After all, no trip to Paris is complete without a grand tour of one of its major industries! And I know zip about fashion. Me, I just grab the first thing off the rack, and if it doesn't try to eat me, I figure I'm good."

She actually giggled, and his jaw almost dropped. She couldn't tell he was dead serious. "Your cousin? From America?" There was something a little odd about her speech and mannerisms, or so it seemed to him. After all, this was the infamous "Ice Queen"; she didn't usually engage people, even people she knew, in casual conversation.

"No, no." He didn't like to think about what might happen if Better actually met Kagami…but he had to prepare for the worst, just in case. He glanced around, nervously, fearful that the others were closing in. "Actually, she's from Osaka, Japan." Just in case you two ever meet. Kagami's eyebrow lifted somewhat. "My, uh, family got around."

"Evidently. You must introduce me to her sometime. Perhaps we have some mutual acquaintances. Well, uhm…" She seemed at a loss for words. What was up with that? Kagami? At a loss for words? Had the world ended while he wasn't watching? "Uhm, I have my own shopping to do. It, uh, was...good...seeing you." It took all his iron self-control to keep his surprise from showing in his face. She moved off down the aisle, and he couldn't help a quick glance at her retreating back. Something about that whole encounter just seemed off, somehow.

Well, it was a big store. Grab something reasonably dead and as non-carnivorous as possible off the shirt rack, get back with the others and get out of here.

Meanwhile, Marinette and Ayla had become immersed in the "shopping zone." "Oh, look at this, Marinette! Now, this would look cute on you."

"It's two sizes too small. I couldn't breathe in that thing."

"I'm sure they have larger sizes-*" At that exact moment, Damien rejoined them, carrying a shopping bag stuffed with shirts.

"Did you two get Better set up with anything? For that matter, where is she?"

"Huh?"

"What?" Such had been their own interest they hadn't noticed Better wasn't with them any more. "Uh…," began Ayla, "I…think I saw her going over that way." She pointed back the way Damien had just come from.

"Oh, grief."

A couple of minutes earlier: Kagami, completely unused to actually going to a store to buy clothes, was half-heartedly searching through the garments when she heard a voice behind her. "Sooooo…You're Kagami," it purred, in a tone that made Kagami's spine tingle. She turned, to behold…

…herself. "It's interesting to see you from the outside," said the apparition. "For a change."

The trio charged around a corner, to see Better, still in her white pantsuit, in the middle of the aisle, holding something in her two hands. "Oh, Damien! Look what I found! Right here in the store!" She proudly and innocently displayed…

…a toad.

"Oh, no," groaned Damien. "Better, tell me you didn't…tell me that's not…"

Better stroked the toad's forehead ridges. "Doesn't she make a lovely toad? And she's low maintenance! All she needs is a few flies every now and then! Very useful."

"Better, give her here," said Damien sternly. He took the toad from Better's hands. "Here, Marinette. Hold onto her, don't let her get away and hop off somewhere. I've got to have a talk with Better."

"You can tell that's a girl toad? Damn, but you've got good eyes," remarked Ayla. Damien didn't respond, but just dragged Better over into a nearby changing booth.

"Wait," said Marinette, examining the toad, looking deep into its eyes. "Ayla…I think this is…but no, it couldn't be…that's impossible…"

"Couldn't be what, Marinette?"

"Ayla, I think this is…I think this is…!" And just then, Ayla recognized something inherent in the creature's eyes. Something familiar. "But it must be…!"

"Kagami?!" they both chorused.

The poor toad slapped its forepaws over its eyes.

In the changing room, Damien turned to Better. "Better, change her back."

"But she takes up far less space like this! And now you'll never have to worry about mistaking the two of us!"

He put his fists on his hips. "Better…!"

She put her hands to her face. "You love her more than you do me," she sobbed.

Something in him melted. "I do not, but she is a friend, and she doesn't deserve this! Better! She's done nothing to you! Now, come on, Better," he said, putting an arm around her. He used his ultimate weapon: "Please?"

She leaned against him, her arms going around him. "Oh, all right…But only for you, my dearest!"

"Ooof!" Outside, Marinette's hands, which had been full of toad, were suddenly full of Kagami. Overbalanced by the sudden increased load, both of them crashed to the floor. Kagami recovered first, rising to her feet with a hand to her head. "Wh-what happened?"

"You fell," said Ayla.

"You fainted," said Marinette. They looked at each other.

"You fainted," said Ayla.

"You fell," said Marinette. Then, realizing the differences in their statements, "You fainted and fell."

Kagami eyed them suspiciously. "Impossible. I don't faint. Or fall."

Ayla spoke up merrily. "You got stuck in a toad-away zone. Ow!" Marinette had elbowed her in the ribs.

"What's the last thing you remember? And how do you feel?" Marinette asked, truly concerned. After all, getting toadified could have some unforeseen side effects. "Do we need to call an ambulance? Or your mother?"

"God, no, to both. Our family has always avoided hospitals. And, to be perfectly honest, I've-but never mind." But both Marinette and Ayla could hear what she didn't say: I've always preferred to avoid my mother, whenever possible.

Marinette saw, out of the corner of her eye, Ayla motioning with her head at the changing room where Damien and Better were, then dipping her head towards Kagami and the front entrance. The meaning was clear: Better get Froggy Weather, here, out of the store before they come out of the changing room.

Good idea. "Well," began Marinette, "at least let me walk you to your car. It's out front, isn't it?"

"Y-yes, Marinette, but you don't have to. I feel strong enough to make it myself."

"Well, just for my own peace of mind, at least let me help you there. What did you say was the last thing you remember?"

To be continued…