Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
Apologies in advance for the length of this chapter. I knew this would be a long one.
BGM: News (Pokemon Colosseum)
"Good evening, everyone. This is Lisa Lavender reporting live. Our top story tonight is in fact a recap of all that has happened in the Super RWBY Sisters universe. Now, let's start with-"
End BGM
Suddenly the power went off. "Huh? What happened? Who cut out the lights?"
"Pardon me, but I'm going to take control of this establishment!"
"What? Who are you! Hey! HEY! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
SLAM!
"Enjoy a nice refreshing cocktail while I take over!"
The lights came back on, revealing Hades on the screen. "Hello wonderful people! I'm here to give you the recap of all that has happened so far in the SRS universe. Cue the music!"
BGM: NFL Theme
Super RWBY Sisters Presents:
An SRS Recap!
Hosted by Hades, the Charming God of the Underworld
"Now, our top stories for tonight: Super RWBY PSA is off to an early strong start! Super RWBY Chibi has been put to rest and everyone held a funeral for it! …Now that I got those out of the way, let's get to the main topic of the day, which is recapping everything that went on in the main story and the surprisingly popular side story known as Gaiden! Get yourselves comfortable, because this is gonna be a long recap! Hopefully it won't be as long as that MCU Chibi skit, if ya know what I mean!"
Super RWBY Sisters
"Our story begins with after Cinder ditches Watts and Hazel after being instructed by Salem, she makes a deal with Bowser and it's been downhill for everyone ever since! Hahahaha! Alright, so as we know, RWBY discovers the Mushroom Kingdom exists because Ozzy boy somehow knows Peach! How does he know? Well, apparently, you can thank Subspace Emissary for somehow merging the Mushroom Kingdom and Remnant together! Don't ask me how I know, folks. It's a doozy! Anywho, our lovable quartet does some fancy shenanigans and meets up with Toadsworth. They set off and what is Weiss's first comment?"
End BGM
"Okay, is anyone going to question the floating blocks?"
BGM: Scamper Shores (Bowser's Fury)
"And thus begins a running gag that runs itself into the ground faster than what Illumination did with the Minions! Poor girl didn't know how to handle it! Anywho, the gals go about the Mushroom Kingdom, destroying enemies and Grimm in their wake, meet up with the Koopa Bros who hasn't made another appearance since Paper RWBY, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. As they go about, Bowser finally gets off his tail and orders Kamek and General Guy to destroy them all, but that didn't go so well for any of Bowser's minions! Seriously, Bowser… you could've called me up and I would have easily sent them back to World 1-1! Pffft… amateur!"
With a chuckle, Hades continued. "In the middle of their journey, they discover an underwater castle where they would come across the supposed big bad of the Mushroom Kingdom, Dry Bowser! Or as he was known back in his time, Emperor Bowser! How does he revive? Simple, some idiot in the Koopa Troop accidentally hits a ? Block and does nothing to retrieve it, and thus… the Emperor returns! Now you might be wondering why was there a 1-Up Mushroom casually chilling above the Emperor? Why, it's very simple! There was a war that went on for too long that Jade Toadstool had to step in to stop this… oh, how did she put it?"
"I am sick and tired of this bullshit. Five years, Marcus. FIVE. LONG. DAMN. YEARS. I am at my wit's end here! I have had it! I can't continue on like this! Either you end this dick measuring contest with Bowser or so help me, I'll end this war MYSELF!"
"Here's what she should have done! She should've stormed into Bowser's Kingdom, pulled him by the horn and drag him to the Mushroom Kingdom, then grabbed her husband by the ear and give them a scolding of a lifetime. That would have easily put an end to the war! But alas, that's not how it happened. After Marcus kicks the bucket, Empress Jade is in power for like five minutes and everything ends up peachy after that! However… she didn't take his death very well. Mind we get a replay?"
"Your highness, aren't you gonna mourn first?"
"I'LL MOURN WHEN THIS WAR IS OVER, DAMMIT!"
"Now I realize that people deal with grief in their own way, but I don't think stuffing a ? Block with a 1-Up Mushroom just to taunt your dead adversary is the way to go, folks. Sure, she had the right idea to summon a Kingfin into the land, but you never know when a group of teenagers might stroll on in, destroy the bodyguard just to save a Toad, and a group of incompetent soldiers accidentally releases the 1-Up Mushroom and revives the guy! …Oops."
*The Price is Right Losing Horn sound effect*
"Wah wah waaaaah…" Hades chuckled. "Give it up for Empress Toadstool folks, she single handedly destroyed the Mushroom Kingdom a millennium later! Oh, wait, I think Dark Samus beat him to the punch first. Buuuut I'm getting ahead of myself here! Anywho, RWBY ends up in DK's domain, Blondie unknowingly starts a rivalry with K. Rool, and then they eventually make it to Bowser's Castle, has their way with Bowser, rescues the bros and the princess… and then beats Bowser up a second time because he underestimated Team RWBY! Then they head back where a Warp Pipe gives them easy access to travel between Beacon and the Mushroom Kingdom… and then Cinder reveals who she truly is to Bowser while giving him access to Roman and Neo, then she never bothers to show up again until way later!"
He let out a chuckle. "So that's the story of Super RWBY Sisters, but wait! What's this? It appears as if Pitty Pat is scared out of his mind because Bayonetta showed up at the Smash Mansion! Not that I blame him, Bayonetta was the sole reason why no one bothered to play Smash 4 anymore. Should've been me in the roster! I would've been less broken than Bayo! Anywho, Pitty Pat and Pretty Palutena goes back to Skyworld when good ol' Medusa makes a comeback… but hold on folks! It turns out that in their adveture, they met up with Lucario, who spoke highly of them. This caught Palutena's attention… and that's when the next adventure happens."
RWBY Uprising
"Now for those who have played Kid Icarus: Uprising, you know how the story goes. However, this is RWBY so there are interesting elements in this. For starters, the beginning of what happens when Ruby meets up with Pitty Pat for the first time. They fall in love! Which is pretty ironic considering the author is a massive Pitidi fan. He has them together in his KIngdom Hearts universe and his Touhouverse! Guess he wanted to try something different. Anywho, their relationship slowly blossoms into a sickening sensation… well, sickening for Viridi that is. How's your stomach holding up, Cherry Blossom? Oh, I think we have footage of her eating the Poison Ivy sandwich. Can we get a close up on that?"
"Ooooh… do I have to…" Viridi groaned. "Oooh, a bet's a bet, I guess… butter it up…" She gulped and then ate it all up. "Ooooh… ooooooh! AAAAAAAAGH!" Viridi fell off her chair and put her arms over her stomach.
"Mistress Viridi! Are you okay?!" Phosphora asked.
"MY INSIDES! IT'S SO INCREDIBLY ITCHY! AAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"There you have it folks! Proof that she had indeed eaten that sandwich! I heard she put some tomato on that sandwich. Heheheh."
In the audience, Viridi's eye twitched. "You mean to tell me he had a secret camera in there the whole time?! Ooooh, I'm gonna KILL HIM."
"Let's see, any other interesting highlights in this one aside from yours truly making the story a lot better? JNPR shows up to help out, they all get into Smash… Oh right, Team Dark RWBY. …Who were they again? Seriously, Emo Pit is more interesting than them. Dark Yang gets herself drowned in the Rewind Spring. Oh! But interesting fun fact, you're gonna love this one! This was not how Dark Yang was gonna go out originally! She was actually going to come out as a baby, the group sends Dark RWB their way, they wonder what to do with it… and then Viridi gets the bright idea to send Baby Dark Yang into a Piranha Plant infested field and then she gets eaten up by Petey Piranha! Pffft, in my opinion, that makes her death more fascinating than drowning and being erased from existence. Ah well, I suppose that was saved for Dark Weiss? Heheh… unfortunately for my viewing pleasure, the author's friends deemed it too dark and talked him into rewriting the scene. Bunch of killjoys…"
He cleared his throat. "So, another interesting tidbit was that instead of Palutena getting gutted by the Chaos Kin, Ruby takes the blow instead and it results in Pitty Pat delivering this little line!"
"You… YOU BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!"
"My my, I didn't know Pitty Pat had a mouth on him! Heh, well, I guess that's what happens when he hangs around Viridi and Yang for so long, it tends to slip out. Mind if we step into the MCU for a bit? I'm sure Captain America has something to say."
"Language!"
"There we go. Enjoy wrecking your motorbike into Hydra!" Hades chuckled. "Anywho, there was another interesting scenario, but with Pyrrhon. You remember him, don't you? Heh, well, after we sent him away, he had an encounter with the Cosmic Queen herself where she proceeds to curbstomp him without even trying. Also, he says something about a power deep within Rosalina that she doesn't want to unleash. Surely, nothing bad will happen if she goes full ham on someone, right?" He let out a smirk. "Well, why don't we ask Ridley and Dark Samus? …Of course, I'm getting ahead of myself again! Anywho, I die in a dramatic fashion. On to the next story!"
A Red vs Blue Halloween
"Apparently, the Red vs Blue gang couldn't handle Yang's puns as they could somehow sense it across the universe. So they proceed to go ahead, build a teleporter and they end up in a Halloween festival where everything goes awry and-… wait, hold that thought folks." He put his hand on his ear piece. "Uh-huh… ooooh, I see. Got ya. Breaking news, folks! A Red vs Blue Halloween has been retconned out of the main universe! Apparently, the Blood Gulch dunderheads made it to the universe when it wasn't Halloween after all! Welp, that makes my job easier. On to the next one!"
Super RWBY World
"So! After RWBY finds the Blood Gulch buffoons and Yang properly beats them up for it, the Mario Bros and Peach invites them to Yoshi's Island, and not only do Blood Gulch and JNPR go with them, but so does the monkey and his Hydrophobic friend! And then they meet up with a pun loving huntress by the name of Nyx Shadow."
"This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!"
"Best thing about doing a recap, you get to pull any clip from any movie or show if you feel like it!" Hades chuckled. "But right you are, Gunray! We got two pun loving nitwits in the adventure. I'm sure Simmons and Church won't suffer any aneurysms! But what's this? Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser, Roman and Neo? Imagine my shock! So off they go to save Peach. Defeat the Koopalings, watch the Koopa Bros humiliate themselves, destroy castles… watch the buffoons humiliate themselves trying to destroy a single castle until they get Caboose involved, it's a grand ol' time! But wait! We just got word that Nyx has a sad past! Whatever happened to her?"
He let out a laugh. "Well, she was living a grand life in Gusty Gulch until Wario and Waluigi enters the picture and scams them out of their house. Why? Simple, her father played a game of poker with Waluigi. Rookie mistake! It's not like Waluigi would pull anything shady and win, right? …Ooops!"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn sound*
"Wah wah waaaaaah! They were already infested with Boos but now they lost to the Wario Bros? Surely, this won't turn Nyx into a bitter woman and lose control of herself. Nah, she'll take it all out on the Boos! …Oh, wait, that was her paper self who's a tad racist toward all Boos. But we'll get to that later! Anywho, she relays all this to Sarge and boy, are we glad that Wario didn't show up in Super RWBY 64! …Alas, I'm getting ahead of myself. I tend to do that. Anywho, they make it to Bowser's Castle, but Bowser isn't going down without a fight. He goes Giga Bowser on them and it's by sheer dumb luck that they live because he was exhausted. So Peach gets saved, only for Roman and Neo to kidnap them… but apparently Neo gets cold feet because she wants nothing to do with the special worlds! That's totally not tubular of you, Neo. Look how well Roman handled it!"
"Uh oh… AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Took it on like a champ! …And then gets humiliated when Peach has enough and knocks some sense into Roman and Neo and they all lived happily ever after! …But wait, it seems as if Bowser is calling backup at the end!"
"Hello?"
"King Bob-omb!"
"Bowser? What do you want? I'm in the middle of a war right now."
"Yeah yeah, but hey, I need a favor."
"Oh?"
"Not only that, but apparently Ozzy boy has a conversation with Qrow. Apparently he's been keeping an eye on the Emperor and Team Dark RWB. Or should I say Team Dark RWBM? That's right, I forgot to mention I brought in the Meta in Uprising! Alas… he got beaten up pretty good by Pyrrha. Apparently she looks just like a certain someone he knows. Anywho, on to the next one!"
Super RWBY 64
"So what happens when Bowser decides to place Peach under castle arrest while also holding Mario and friends hostage? You get this lovely story! Team CFVY, Yoshi, Doc, Penny, Pitty Pat, and even the small rat known as Pikachu goes to investigate, but not only that… word gets to Sarasaland that Peach is under castle arrest! Daisy isn't interested at first as she's in the middle of a spar with Chun-Li for some reason… but she gets involved the moment she hears good ol' Green Stache has been kidnapped. Now for those who don't know, the entire Koopa Troop is absolutely terrified of this woman. Why? Well, I think I know why… Mario Party 3! Can we get a replay of that?"
"BWAHAHAHA! Hold everything! The King of Awesome has arrived!" Bowser stormed into the area. "Ooooh! Another princess? I can easily kidnap you!" He put his hands on Daisy's shoulder.
"OI! HANDS OFF, DOUCHEBAG!" Daisy yelled, turning around and giving him a good smack on the cheek, which sent him flying into the sky.
Wii Sports "HOME RUN!" Sound Effect
"Who says you need a baseball bat for a home run? All you need is a good slapping arm!" Hades grinned. "Now, I may be a god, but I think it's best I don't mess with Daisy. Chances are, she'll find a way to send me into deep space without even trying! Hell hath no fury like a Daisy scorned… and don't mess with Luigi when she's around. She'll easily break you! So, while the group starts to save everyone, two new players enter the fray. Iris Icaria and Xena Ayami! Iris is an island drop out after a Grimm attack goes awry and Xena… hoo boy, Xena. Her backstory is pretty saddening, folks. Well, saddening for everyone, I love the chaos that goes on in there. What went on in her past? Simple, King Bob-omb waged war, threw an explosive into Xena's village, it kills her parents but she's alive… and thus begins her descent into insanity because Yagami is born! …Or Dark Xena, as she hasn't been renamed yet. She would have made an excellent agent of chaos. She almost got away with killing King Bob-omb, but Pitty Pat and friends put a stop to that. Booooriiiing!"
He let out a chuckle. "Of course, Iris's introduction is basically her trying to kill Pikachu because she was hungry. I wonder how Sammy-kins would have taken that? Who knows! Anyway, everyone gets freed, Roman is on the receiving end of Daisy's wrath, Team Dark RWBM makes a comeback but they end up getting knocked out, Luigi and Daisy have a romance and… Daisy has her way with Bowser at the end. What happens next? Peach shoves cake in his face! Truly, a humiliating end for Bowser in that scheme! Oh, and apparently a Power Star ends up sending the Blood Gulch Idiots back home!"
Hades smirked. "Now before I delve into JNPR's Mansion, let's take a little detour into the Paper Universe! I think I'll let my paper self handle this one. Paper Hades, you're on the scene!"
Paper RWBY
"Thank you, my brilliant star studded fabulous Main Universe God of Death! Our story begins with Paper Ruby and friends heading off to Peach's Castle when suddenly, the whole place gets abducted by Bowser himself and it gets sent to space! I can see where the main universe got its inspiration! Anywho, the team gathers up a group of misfits and sets out to defeat Bowser for the umpteenth time!"
"Hold that thought there, you fabulous papery devil you!" Hades spoke up. "I want to give a brief mention here. It was around this time that Fire Emblem got a lot more prominent in these stories starting with Paper RWBY. Why? Because it was at this time the author finally got into Fire Emblem with Fire Emblem Heroes and now has a few Fire Emblem games under his belt. He decided that Fire Emblem needed more love in his stories! That said, he couldn't bring himself to complete Three Houses after finishing the Black Eagles route and the Silver Snow route. Can't say I blame him, the first part of Three Houses drags on for so long, it makes the original Diamond and Pearl games blush. Seriously, you could probably get to the Elite Four and fight Cynthia by the time it takes dear ol' daddy Jeralt to take a permanent dirt nap! By the time you merge with Sothis, I'm pretty sure players would have been long gone after destroying a max leveled Blissey with a Critical Hit!"
"Heyo!" Paper Hades laughed. "Anywho, during their adventure into rescuing the Star Spirits, there was this one little snag in their adventures. Nyx comes back for a little adventure and what happens? She gets a little uppity with the Boos… and what happens after that?"
Pause BGM
BGM: Scent of Silence (Kingdom Hearts: Re:Chain of Memories)
"Good! That's what you Boos need. To be eaten by someone." Nyx said.
"Excuse me?" Bow spoke up. "I didn't invite you here to bad mouth me."
"And I didn't invite your kind into my home to torment me and my family!"
"Hooo! Let's fast forward a bit."
"Ever since I was a baby, I was constantly tortured by your kind. You kept scaring the hell out of me for what, sport? You also kept scaring my parents! And you know what? I had to go into constant therapy because of my fear with you guys… and soon, my fear fell into full blown hatred for you guys. You Boos are all the same, you only care about yourselves and never really put any thought into what you do!"
"I'm with Nyx on this one." Luigi agreed.
"In fact, you DESERVE being eaten by Tubba Blubba. You're nothing but constant nuisances that ruin everyone's fun! You're annoying, you're arrogant, and you're downright ugly! In fact, if I were to live in a world without you guys, I will gladly take it! You guys deserve to go extinct!"
"…I'm not THAT hateful of Boos." Luigi sweatdropped.
"Goodness me! That's definitely a far cry from the Nyx in this universe!" Hades said. "Definitely not Rated E for Everyone, folks! Our Nyx doesn't mind Boos at all, in fact, she grew up with them… If I don't see Nyx talking some sense into her paper self in Paper Jam, I'm gonna be disappointed… and highly amused!"
"Are we sure Nyx isn't related to Cardin in this universe?" Paper Hades wondered.
"Beats me!"
End BGM
"Anywho, aside from that little snag, Paper RWBY and Fire Emblem march straight into Peach's Castle, knocks out Bowser for the umpteenth time and that's the end of that story! I'll see you when you get to Thousand Year Door! Take it away, you handsome devil!"
Resume BGM
"Thank you, Paper Me!" Hades grinned. "Now, let's go into JNPR's Mansion!"
JNPR's Mansion
"Our story begins with Luigi winning a contest he's never entered, so Mario and RWBY go into the Boo Woods to figure out what caused him to win a contest… and then they're never heard from again! At the same time, Celica from Fire Emblem Gaiden or Echoes, depending on your preference, shows up and she and her friends, along with JNPR, Luigi, and Robin and Tharja's kids go out to see what caused their disappearance. But hold that thought folks, it appears that… oh my, someone actually had the guts to kidnap Daisy! But who would be sinister enough to kidnap such a gal? Why, King Boo of course! Why would he kidnap her, you ask? Simple, Daisy beat the snot out of him in Super RWBY 64 and he got a bit vengeful!"
"Oh BROTHER, this guy STINKS!"
"My thoughts exactly, random fish! So, as everyone goes into the mansion, they are greeted by Professor E. Gadd and his granddaughter, Jade Gadd! Jade's an interesting one here, folks. Her parents were ghost hunting enthusiasts but they bit off more they could chew because of King Boo himself! He petrified them, Jade got antsy and decided to go after them, but E. Gadd shows up at the last second and saves his granddaughter! How does that pay off? I'll tell you in a moment! Anywho, JNPR and Co go on a Ghostbusting heist until they eventually reach King Boo himself and uh… well, just watch this bit."
End BGM
"King Boo, I know what you did to my parents! Once I'm done with you, I'm going to save them."
"HA! You really think you can save them?"
"Yes, I've been separated from them for far too long. It's time for me to reunite with them!"
"Well, if you want a reunion with them so badly… here you go!" King Boo said, his crown glowing as two statues appeared before them.
"Mom! Dad!" Jade exclaimed. "Don't worry, I'm going to save you from your petrified state."
"Three. Two. One!" Hades counted as King Boo's crown glowed brightly and shot the two statues with lightning, and then they started to crack before they exploded. "Kaboom!"
"NO!"
"You can tell at that very second that Jade's heart breaks in two. Heh, more like shatters, am I right? Hahaha! Anywho, Jade has her final battle with King Boo-… wait a minute, isn't this JNPR's Mansion or is it Jade's Mansion? Bah, whatever! King Boo is sucked into the painting, Mario and RWBY are saved, and so are Daisy and… oh, the Toad Brigade was there too? Well, in any case, Jade has closure with her parents, Ren and Nora say a few words with Jade aaaaand that's the end of the story where Jade is invited to become a huntress at Beacon Academy! So… you got Jade, Iris, Nyx and Xena… huh, wonder what will happen with these four? Boy, do I have exciting news for you!"
Team JINX Special
"Nothin' to see here folks. Just team CFVY and those four individuals doing a test to see if they are worthy to become Smashers, and those individuals becoming Team JINX! Though some interesting stuff happens like: Nyx being aware that Wario and Waluigi are there, we go into some more backstory with Jade when she was at the SDC and Jacques goes into… well, Jacques mode, Xena nearly loses herself because Mega Man accidentally blew something up… it's nothing too special! Oh, and the Blood Gulch Knuckleheads come back again, this time with a man named Washington. Oh, and E. Gadd gets tricked. Next!"
Super RWBY Sunshine
"Now before we get into the meat of this story, I want to mention Team JINX for a moment. Turns out their first assignment was to find a thief that's made a name for himself in the Vale sewers. The moment they do find him, they straddle him up and find out his name is Anthony Halyard, a gentleman's thief, if you will. Turns out he was like this because Jacky boy wanted his head on a silver platter. Well, you can guess how that went! They didn't turn him in to Jacques! Instead he makes his getaway after a brief conversation with Ozzy Boy. Now that that's out of the way, let's get into the main course with RWBY Sunshine!"
BGM: Delfino Plaza (Super Mario Sunshine)
"So, after their first vacation on an island went horribly wrong, they try it again! Peach gets tickets to win an all expense paid trip to Delfino and they invite the majority of the cast there, including the Blood Gulch nincompoops. However, mid-flight, they are greeted by an alien invader by the name of… Umber Lightwave and his companion, Nebby the Lunala! How in the world did this happen? Well, apparently the boy's life got sucked down the drain because of his champion duties… and it's all because of Team Rainbow Rocket. Hey boys, do you have a spare seat available? I could easily join Team Rainbow Rocket, sure I don't have any Pokemon, but I can teach you a thing or two about world domination! …No? Eh, suit yourself! So anyway, Umber decides to go on vacation and heads off to Delfino… and he doesn't even bother to tell his friends about it, so they go after him!"
Hades let out a chuckle. "Anywho, they land at Delfino, encounter a robot by the name of FLUDD and they get their first Shine Sprite. However! It is immediately stolen by a good ol' Shiny enthusiast by the name of… Mona Violeta, supposed leader of Team MAJC even though the A in MAJC is the brains of the operations and acts like the leader. Who is this "A", you speak of? Go on, take a wild guess. If you thought Anthony Halyard, you are correct! The boy crafted a team in that short amount of time! Anywho, RWB and Mario are arrested, along with Mona… it's broadcast around the entire world, and it gets the attention of Sakura and Elise, their retainers, Pitty Pat, Taiyang, Qrow and of course… the man of the hour! Say it with me now folks! The one! The only!"
"OBJECTION!"
"Phoenix Wright! It was a kangaroo trial at best, honestly. They were arrested for a crime they didn't commit and it turns out, Team Dark RWBM and Bowser Jr, disguised as Shadow Mario, strike! Oh, and apparently the Inklings are involved too, because DJ Octavio wanted some time in the sun. Unfortunately for the Piantas, they are so stupid, they make Caboose look like a genius. Then again, if I had a palm tree stuck in my head, I'd be making stupid decisions too! …But I'd be adding flair to my stupid decisions!"
He let out a chuckle. "But I digress. The crew goes and collects Shine Sprites, Dark Ruby makes Ruby's life miserable but Uncle Qrow comes to the rescue, Pyrrha and Meta have another spat… this time Washington joins the Meta because it turns out he hates it here and is regretful that he had to do it, but hold on! Carolina comes into the fray and puts a stop to it! …And then Washington and Meta leave while Dark Blake and Dark Weiss get humiliated, Umber tries to stay out of things and is a spoil sport most of the time, much to Lillie and Guzma's dismay, we get a cameo of stuffed toys courtesy of Sans and Monokuma, Chibi Robo shows up, Peach avoids capture by replacing herself with an actual inflatable blow up doll of herself that Daisy gave her for Christmas… it was a wild ride, especially when Luigi went giant and had a giant battle with Mecha Bowser! I wonder what it'd be like if Luigi fought King Kong and Godzilla? It'd make that movie more interesting!"
End BGM
He let out a laugh, hearing a few boos from the audience. "Anyway, Sunshine ends when Octavio is defeated and then Master Hand shows up to not only give out invites to the Inklings, but also one for Daisy! Poor Bowser had a stroke when he found out about that! Hehehe. Oh, and Maya brings Summer Rose to the land of the living just so the Rose-Xiao Long family can have some closure and MAJC heads off to Vacuo for some unfinished business! And now… we head back to the paper universe. Take it away, you good looking stud muffin!"
Paper RWBY: The Thousand Year Door
"Thank you, you rockstar!" Paper Hades chuckled. "Anywho, Peach goes to Rogueport on vacation and invites Mario and Co to come with her. But as we all know, Peach and vacations do not go well together, because… gasp! Peach has been kidnapped! Dun dun duuuuun!"
"Imagine my shock!"
"Yes indeed! Mario and friends go out to retrieve the Crystal Stars and figure out what these X-Naut boneheads want! However, there is a twist with these boss battles. The author, with the help of one of his friends decided to let the viewers decide who gets to make a star cameo in the boss fight! For Hooktail, you had people like Celica going up against a Kricketune. Celica had a good lead but seemingly out of nowhere, Kricketune's ratings go up faster than people's trust in EA! I might have had some of my minions create accounts just to boost Kricketune's chances up so Celica wouldn't get the chance!"
In the audience, the author facepalmed. "That explains… SO much!" He mumbled.
"So Hooktail had a humiliating end. Susie from Kirby: Planet Robobot makes a surprise appearance in the Boggly Woods, Incineroar beats the living heck out of Macho Grubba, Tharja hexes the heck out of the Freak in a Sheet, Shantae and Shovel Knight were neck and neck for Keelhaul Key but Shantae struck out and took care of Crump, good ol' Detective Pikachu shows up and takes care of the Smorgs, Lightning from Final Fantasy appears out of nowhere and helps out the heroes in a surprise boss battle with none other than Gilgamesh himself! And for the Palace of Shadow? Why, Specter Knight shows up! It surprised the heck out of the author, he was expecting one of the Belmonts or Alucard to take the spotlight! That's what you get for underestimating the power of the Shovel Knight community, dear boy!"
"Oh, shut it!"
Hades laughed. "Oh, that's wonderful. Hey, were there anything else going on in that story?"
"Oh, right, of course. Peach's Feebas evolves into Milotic, JNPR takes on the story of the Waffle Kingdom, Tifa joins the group after knocking the heck out of Yang, JINX discovers something off and teams up with Junior to try to put a stop to the mess and… wouldn't you know it, Bowser is the one who takes down the Shadow Queen for good! Because it's a cruddy finale without Bowser, that's what!"
"Yes, indeed! And then… seemingly out of nowhere, the series takes a sabbatical for a time. Now how exactly did that happen?"
End BGM
"It's simple." Paper Hades chuckled. "The final chapter was a two parter, and instead of the author taking a break after the first chapter like he normally does, he pressed on and kept going at it until the last chapter was finished and was published! …Doofus worked himself so hard, he burnt himself out from RWBY!"
"Yeeeeup! And in that time, he decided to take a break from RWBY and decided to go onto a project he's been planning for a while. Have you ever heard of Zelda's Journey? It's quite the ride, if I say so myself! I thoroughly enjoyed the chaos that went on there! Hahahaha!"
"What happened during the time he spent on that story?"
"Well, nothing really… except for-"
Joker Steals The Show!
The Hero Draws Near!
Banjo-Kazooie Are Raring to Go!
"Guh huh!"
Terry Faces the Fury!
"Hey, come on!"
Hades grinned. "He had a lot of work to do when he got back to it, but a special shout out goes to this reveal. Cue the music!"
BGM: Megalovania (Super Smash Bros Ultimate) (Start at 0:07)
Now Entering: Sans
Super Smash Bros Ultimate x Undertale
"Boy, you had to be there for his reaction!" Hades chuckled. "The author was shocked to see him there, but he flashbacked to all the times he got hounded on by people demanding Sans to be in his stories. He immediately got upset after that because he figured people were gonna hound him again by ten fold! Heh, not that I blame him for getting upset, but I did enjoy his salt! That was when he finally decided to see what all the fuss was about with Undertale and watched a playthrough of it! He was still upset and wanted to get it over with… and that's when that frown got turned upside down when he met Papyrus. Heh! Don't deny it, my boy! You wanted to be annoyed, but Papyrus's shenanigans turned that frown upside down! Admit it! You started to love it when Papyrus was being a goofball!"
"…What is this, the Nan roast hour?" The author rolled his eyes. "But… yes. Freakin' opportunist…"
"My boy, it's always the Nan roast hour as far as your group of friends on Discord is concerned! I'm sure your pal Yoshi can attest to that, along with his Dedede that you can never seem to win against in Smash Ultimate! Maybe I should hop in one day on the server and join in on the roast!" Hades chuckled. "Now then, after Zelda's Journey was over, we go back to RWBY: DK 64! I'll take it from here, my good paper friend!"
"Will do!"
End BGM
BGM: Super Bell Hill (Super Mario 3D World)
RWBY: DK 64
"First off, I just wanna say… the title is a bit odd. I think it would've worked better as like, I dunno… RWBY: Banana Slamma or RWBY: K. Rool's Revenge or something like that. Oh well! Anywho, remember whe I said Yang unwittingly started a rivalry with K. Rool? It came to bite her in the butt! Turns out, when K Rool was added to the roster, Yang would constantly tease him… harshly! It got so bad that K. Rool decided to recruit Gruntilda into his scheme! Meanwhile, Ruby is seen giving Shantae a pep talk and encourages her to keep trying to get into Smash. Boy! I sure hope that works! It's not like the author predicted the future or anythi-"
Super Smash Bros Ultimate x Shantae
"My my! First he unwittingly predicts Cloud and Bayonetta in his Kingdom Heartsverse, then Daisy was in the B Roster in Smash in the SRSverse until Daisy was confirmed for Smash Ultimate… three for three! But hold on a second, this is getting juicy! During this time, the author decides to bring in the Three Houses cast into the storyverse! Hope nothing comes out of this~!"
Byleth joins Smash House!
Byleth Recruits… Byleth?!
"…Well, would you look at that. The author didn't have to do anything after that. He predicted the future yet again! Four for four! Anyway, RWBY heads to DK Isle along with DK and his friends. Not only that, but Shantae, her friends and Tifa join the party as well… and then they are all kidnapped! Ruby is the first one to escape thanks to DK and they go on an adventure to stop K. Rool from blowing it all up, all the while they meet up with Banjo and Kazooie. So that's one down. Meanwhile, at the same time, Kamek unwittingly brings in the Phantom Thieves where they drop in on a Rathalos, who was in the middle of fighting Ken, Terry, and everyone's favorite Scottish gal, Gloria. The Thieves get their time in the sun with a chapter dedicated to them, JNPR are recruiting people to be Assist Trophies, Mewtwo is making Xena's life a living hell… and Waluigi is still not in Smash!"
With a laugh, he continued. "Anyhow, back on DK Isle, they save Yang but it turns out K. Rool did away with her aura and made her a living punching bag. She also gets herself a little Tepig. Aww. Anyway, surely this won't be too much for Yang to handle. She's been through tougher things! …Oh, wait, she got her pride destroyed at Gangplank Galleon and nearly gets her head shot off by K. Rool if it wasn't for the timely arrival of Raven Branwen! Then Qrow shows up as Yang desperately tries to master the Hadoken. So, pretty much everyone is trying to stop K. Rool and Grunty… and yet, someone's missing. What happened with the ice queen? Let's take a look!"
Pause BGM
"Alright, ice queen! We're being nice to ya and giving you a meal." The Kremling opened up the cell door. "Get it while it's ho- hey, where'd you go?!" He yelled, unaware of Weiss clinging to the ceiling.
BGM: Main Theme (Mission Impossible)
"Hey, we got an escap-" Weiss landed on top of him. "OOOF!"
"Time to bust my way out of here."
"That's right, folks! Weiss goes all Mission Impossible in Crystal Cavern! She has some help with Funky Kong by giving her a longsword that goes by Eiskönigin. With this, she was able to take out the mini boss ad the boss of that area! Of course, she exhausted herself but wouldn't you know it, Mumbo saves her and gives her a defense boost, which was enough to get her back on her feet and storm her way into Gruntilda's lair and saved her team from having an exploding piano fall on them and they all take down Grunty for good."
End BGM
"That just leaves K. Rool… so what does he do after they storm into his base and fight? Simple! He shoots Yang into DK Isle and blows it up while trapping everyone else and sending Ruby into a depression! But hang on, Yang is back in action and has a final confrontation with K. Rool with one heck of a good soundtrack! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YOUNG BLOOD! Heh, what can I say, it's catchy! Anywho, K. Rool's defeated, Yang is slipping deeper into insanity, Gloria's friends come to pay Gloria a visit aaaand that's the end of that one. A story dedicated to K. Rool ever since he was confirmed to join Smash Bros… and of course, due to K. Rool blowing up the island by enhancing the Blast O Matic with the Smash Ball, portals started popping up everywhere! Luminary and his friends are sucked in, Gensokyo becomes Popstar's moon, the Future Foundation and Class of 77-B show up, Cuphead and Mugman arrive into Master Hand's office, and the good ol' Persona 4 cast show up, along with Sojiro and Sae."
Hades grinned mischeviously. "But that's not all! It turns out that massive explosion caught Sora and friends' attention and Grimm started showing up in his world! Hmm, Sora showing up in this universe? I wonder what could possibly happe-"
Sora is Finally Here!
"Five for five~! You're making this too easy, Nanny Boy!" Hades smirked. "Plus, I believe you flirted with the idea to have Sora be in Smash in your Touhou remakes, so I'm counting that! Anywho, on to the next story!"
Resume Super Bell Hill BGM
RWBY: Superstar Saga plus Bowser's Minions
"Fascinating how he does Superstar Saga in this universe yet outright ignores it in his Touhouverse." Hades teased. "Oh well, what can you do? Anyhow, Peach's voice is stolen by Cackletta and Fawful, so it's up to the Koopa Troop to stop them, along with your typical individuals, but joining them are Byleth, Sothis, Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Hilda and the Galar Quad, not to mention the first appearance of a handful of Akame ga Kill characters fittingly tilted: ATMC… and it gets wilder from there folks, trust me! Anyway, seems Yang might have a crush on Claude… then their ship gets blown up after a brief moment with Fawful. …Wait a moment, who's that I see on the ship? Gasp! It's Xena! Team JINX is accompanying them! As I recall, she doesn't do well with explosions and I believe Mewtwo unwittingly made her condition worse. Buuuuut, I'm sure she's fiiiiiine. Not like she'll go crazy!"
"No! NO! STAY AWAY! NO! NOOOOOOO!"
"Heh… heheheh… hahahahaha! All you pathetic worms… will fall to me! I'll kill all of you!"
"It's just you and me~"
"Get away! I didn't do anything wrong! No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"…Someone pass the popcorn! I'm invested in this!" Hades said. "While Xena has gone crazy, everyone is slowly but surely reuniting after somehow not dying from the explosion and, wouldn't you guess it, we get character development from Neo, of all people! Who knew the silent types could get that? But that's not all, we get a little side story with Bowser's minions and this new guy on the block called Captain Slime! He hails from Erdrea… and yes, Luminary and his friends are in this story! What's the first thing they do? Tame Dark Xena of course! …Booooooriiiiiiiing. Then they step in and help fight Mom Piranha. Boooooriiiiiing! But apparently, not only did Luminary, his friends, and several dump truck loads of Erdrean monsters show up, but Calasmos makes his appearance by corrupting any monster that comes by with his influence! I'm not sure how influence gets sucked into a portal but hey, I'd probably find a way to do the same."
With a shrug, Hades continued. "So, remember when I said Neo, of all people, gets character development? Because here we see her trying to get good ol' Roman Torchwick to get him to remember her after he gets hit on the head with amnesia, but he doesn't and shoves her off the beanstar, Byleth swoops in to save her and thus results in Neo getting depression because she has no friends… so what happens? The weirdest friendship I have ever seen blossoms when Luigi and Marnie comforts her, and thus they form a friendship! Geez, throw in a fourth member and you'd have yourself another Huntsman team. What'd you call it… L-M-N? M-N-L? N-L-M? Who knows! Not sure what'd you'd get with three people… anyhow, their friendship blossoms even further when they fight together and Jade of Erdrea gives Marnie some claws for her to fight, and to everyone's surprise, including mine, she's surprisingly great with it!"
Hades let out a chuckle. "So great that it bled into Touhou Odyssey where Marnie picks up the claws while fighting the Koopa Bros and she feels nostalgic over it. What are the odds? Anyway, once Mario is done feeling sick and they pick up Xena along the way, they go find the missing Beanstar Pieces where we see ATMC in action. All the while Bowser's Minions are getting the Koopalings out of their funk and trying to stop Fawful… only they get thrown in the cell and so do RWBY and company, resulting them to team up. Group A goes to fight Bowletta, which, by the way, I have saved on my phone and will continue to torment Bowser over this. Team B decides to go and stop production of Fawful's mechanics while also fighting a Behemoth for some reason… how did they get that in there? Oh well."
With another chuckle, he continued. "After they get rid of Cackletta's soul, they head back to Beanbean Castle, Yang and Erik have a moment and sharing stories on their siblings while Erik's sister shows up right in Wario's vault and goes on to steal it all under his nose. But that's another time. Everyone heads back home, Ozzy Boy has a conversation with those who traversed through this world including Kyoko and Asahina… while at the same time, Dante and Vergil show up in the Mushroom Fields! Dante, hmmm? Why, if I didn't know any better, that would be a clear sign of-"
Super Smash Bros Ultimate x Devil May Cry
"SIX FOR SIX! You just can't win, Nanny Boy!" Hades grinned. "Besides, not only that, but you laughed yourself sick over Dante's Mii Costume in Kazuya's reveal trailer that you got yourself a headache over it! I'm supposing that was you relishing in the salt over the Devil May Cry fans. Heh… what are the chances! And thus ends Superstar Saga… but wait! What's this? Weiss gets herself kidnapped by the Wario Bros! Oh no! Why did they kidnap her? Weeeeell…."
Operation: Winter Moonlight
"Turns out Jacky Boy saw the newscast over Weiss getting falsely arrested in Delfino and he didn't like that one bit. So RWY, Nyx, Team MAJC with two new members known as Chloe and Zoey… seriously, how is it not Team MAJCCZ? And also Futaba joins the party! Fun fact, the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Greninja and Snake were going to show up in this fic too but Flashy Boy, Nanny Boy's friend, thought that was overkill for this kind of story, so they settled for Futaba with her as mission control. It all goes well, Weiss and Jacky Boy have a spat, he slaps her and says she made a mockery of the SDC, the Mushroom Kingdom is a dump and other horrid things he said. Also, Dark Weiss is there. Why is Dark Weiss there? I forgot to mention that Team Dark RWBM broke up and they went their separate ways after Meta left… and Dark Blake had a nice relaxing lava bath while Dark Weiss was taken to Atlas! Oh, but that's not all, apparently Weiss had enough of being the damsel in distress and well… I'll just let Zoey say it."
"Well, Miss Oracle… from what we can infer, the hostage has extracted herself."
"COME AGAIN?!"
"Yup! Weiss took matters into her own hands and fled the coop! Not that Jacky Boy paid any attention, he was too busy stiffing the Wario Bros and everyone knows that if you stiff the Wario Bros, they'll rob you blind! They take all of the Schnee fortune after blowing the whole place up because of Wario being a gas bag, and Anthony has a one on one duel with Jacky Boy which ends up with the latter goig to jail for a long time. Word on the street is that the inmates are calling him Karen down there, and he has a Faunus roommate that likes to beat him up! They'll get along juuuuust fine." He chuckled. "Oh, and Nyx sees the Wario Bros but does nothing about it for a few fics. Thus, they lived happily ever after… oh, and apparently the SDC blowing up attracted the attention of the Belladonnas, Ironwood and his cronies, the White Fang, Adam Taurus, Ilia and of course, Winter, Klein and Mama Willow Schnee herself."
With a grin, Hades let out a chuckle. "Wasn't there a certain individual that Nanny Boy wanted? I think he predicted her in an author's note. Who was it again?"
Min Min Arms Herself!
"I'm counting this one, my dear boy! That's seven for seven now! Why do I bring this up?"
RWBY: Partners in Time
"Because Min Min makes her debut by obliterating good ol' Little Mac at the start of the story, that's what! Thus we see in this story that E. Gadd builds a time machine and Peach ends up in the past… where she gets kidnapped by alien invaders, then one alien goes forward in time and makes a mess of things, which results in a time portal popping up and RWBY and friends go investigate! However… Dialga wakes up from his nap and he's not happy whatsoever! To make things even crazier, past versions of The White Wings, Minerva, Sonic, and Samus show up! Oh, and Ironwood, Sienna, the Belladonnas and the Schnees show up as well, and of course, Sun has a surprise sister… give it up for Akame Ga Kill's busty blonde, Leone! But that's not all… joining this adventure, Dante, Aerith and even Min Min show up to help out the alien crisis!"
Hades grinned. "This is an exciting one, folks! Blake has a good talking to with Sienna while reconciling with her parents, Dialga nearly blows up E. Gadd if it wasn't for Arceus intervening… oh, and Snake torments the heck out of Ilia. At one point, she and Blake reconcile before she heads off to watch Snake manhandle Adam like a chump! All because he has a sword. Oh… now how did Sothis put it?"
"I see, too many swordsman, are there? And you, you wield the sword as well! What will you do?"
"Says he learned a thing or two with half the roster having swords. I can't imagine why!" Hades grinned. "Oh, and later on, Marnie shows up with a Togekiss that belongs to Mario because this Togekiss was tortured by a man that goes by the Iron Masked Marauder… and this is when things get interesting for the punk! She first saves Bowser and crew after being kidnapped by Princess Shroob, and what does Bowser do?"
"Hey, since you saved me, I hereby dub you an honorary member of the Koopa Troop!"
"Oh, cool… WAIT, WHAT?!"
""Honorary member", he says. Heh, well, we'll see how honorary this turns out later on! Anyway, the rest of the crew are saved, they have an encounter with Princess Shroob, Jaune suddenly gets balls of steel and proceeds to kick butt with an axe that Dyntos made for him, a few of the gang gives Jaune advice on how to date the amazon… and all the while Dark Weiss walks out of a flaming building while dragging Whitley out of the looney bin! But how did it end up in flames? Why, Dark Weiss went out of her way to bust a young lady out of that prison… who goes by none other than Seryu Ubiquitous! However, as she's still in the flames, Dark Weiss encounters Esdeath… and it's at this point where the author wasn't sure where her allegiance lied at the time, so he has it up in the air for the time being while Dark Weiss, Esdeath and an unconscious Whitley escape to the Mushroom Kingdom… and then the devil dog emerges from the flames and wonders what to do next."
Hades smirked. "Oh, before I continue on… I must make a mention to another story happening at the same time as this one."
JINX Star Allies
"So, while E. Gadd is doing a presentation on time travel, Ozzy Boy sends Team JINX to Dreamland so Xena could have some peace and quiet so her dark personality won't cause such a fuss. Joining her are Team CFVY, Penny and some of Luminary's friends… when, surprise surprise, something happens in Dreamland! It's up to Kirby, JINX and the gang to figure out what causes this mess… and along the way, they get the possession knocked out of many of Kirby's friends and adversaries… and at one point, Umber joins them because one Jamba Heart made its way to the Mushroom Kingdom and struck Umber! Not only that, but several Jamba hearts made its way to Gensokyo and made everyone go nuts… so what does good ol' Reimu do? She thinks Dreamland is responsible for the incident and goes in guns blazing… only to get her butt kicked by everyone. Heh, Heroine of Gensokyo, everyone! Turns out that if they leave their world, they get their power drained just by a smidge just so everyone in the universe stands a chance against them. They make friends with Reimu shortly after and knock Umber out of his possession."
Hades chuckled. "And of course, they drive Jambastion out of Dreamland and chase them throughout the cosmos, while also giving some much needed fanservice for Dyna Blade and Jade… gasp, could it be? Her grandmother was on a planet this entire time? Turns out she visited Dreamland and came across a Warp Star that took her to a planet… and left her there to rot. Until JINX and co steps in to a suffocatingly heartfelt reunion with Amelia Gadd. Soon after, they put a stop to Hyness while also recruiting Galacta Knight after he played "Pin the sword-like tail on Penny Polendina", and then they take on another eldritch abomination in the Kirby universe… okay, seriously, are we SURE Kirby is Rated E for Everyone? I'm curious to see what the eldritch abomiation is for Forgotten Land. May I remind you that there was blood in Kirby's Dreamland 3!"
Hades smirked. "But what's this? This Eldritch Abomination exploded and knocked everyone out, which made them easy pickings for some Shroob invaders, which of course, made Yukari get Marisa Kirisame involved! But hold on, this eldritch abomination exploded. Isn't there someone who gets anxiety over explosions? Oh, I'm sure it's not too ba-"
"Hmhmhmhmhm… HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, it feels GOOD to drop this facade!"
"Xena? What are you doing?!" Umber asked.
"Xena? Ohohoho, no… she's gone. It's Dark Xena now!"
"Hello chaos incarnate, it's so good to see you again!" Hades grinned. "However, it was short lived when Team JIN, Kirby, Reimu and Marisa knock her down a few pegs… with the sickening power of friendship, to boot! Laaaaaame. Anywho, they wonder what caused the Shroobs to invade and they figure out they come from the Mushroom Kingdom… so off they go and that wraps up that story! Now back to your regularly scheduled program of Partners in Time."
Meanwhile, back in Partners in Time…
"When we last Esdeath and Dark Weiss, they are soon attacked by Shroob UFOs but Esdeath immediately takes them down while Dark Weiss takes control of the ship, however, the lady never played a single flight simulator so Dark Weiss flies around like a maniac. How did Esdeath put it?"
"It's like watching a toddler learning how to drive a Ferrari in a mine field…"
"There you have it folks, Dark Weiss is a toddler and she drives right in a mine field consisting of Lancers! Too bad Esdeath saves her and they're on their way to the Mushroom Kingdom, it would've been highly amusing to see her gored faster than Sephiroth impaling Aerith. Oh well. Anyway, RWBY and Co, along with new allies such as Ironbutt, Sienna and Winter, hatch a plan to figure out how to stop the alien invasion. Of course, that's interrupted when good ol' Celebi gets kidnapped by Popple, a handful of people go to stop him, Bowser and Roman send him away and then we come face to face with the Iron Masked Marauder… who is easily defeated because he can't take a punch to save his life, not to mention he loses his Pokemon to the ice queen, the amazon and Bowser boy himself! The Masked Man gets kidnapped by Giratina and then… SURPRISE, Dark Weiss comes back and we have ourselves a cat fight between Weiss and her dark self. But wait, Dark Weiss has an ace up her sleeve. Mama Schnee! That's right, she came in and kidnapped her mother during Celebi's kidnapping. Surely, someone at the castle would have noticed she disappeared… but no one did. Guess they figured out she went into the wine cellar again."
He let out a chuckle. "Anywho, Dark Weiss threatens to kill her if Weiss doesn't step down but then suddenly, Dark Weiss is frozen over by Esdeath! Turns out she was just pretending to side with her. She saves Willow and is about to kill Dark Weiss, but suddenly… a Behemoth brainwashed by the Shroobs comes in and has himself a snack. Said snack being Dark Weiss! Let's see, Dark Yang dies by being erased by existence, Dark Blake takes a lava bath and Dark Weiss gets eaten alive. I've a pretty good feeling we have the winner for the most gruesome death in team Dark RWBY! I can't wait to see how Dark Ruby dies in the most horrible way possible. Hmhmhmhmhm, I imagine it'll be oh SO satisfying. I would tell you how Nanny boy plans on killing her, but that's a spoiler for another time. Anyway, this is still part of the time where Nanny boy still couldn't figure out what to do with Esdeath. Is she good or is she evil? There are rumors that she wants to overthrow Ironwood, so perhaps she's actually evil who has a soft spot for the Schnees. Only time will tell! …Because she leaves after that without saying a word. She heads off to Toad Town to what I assume she goes to get herself a meatball sub while kicking alien butt…"
Hades shrugged. "Anywho! The heroes storm into Princess Shroob's lair, kick some alien tail and then… imagine my shock, Princess Shroob kidnaps Peach and takes her back to the present! …Well, that's a way to subvert expectations. Then again, I don't think a small platform would be enough to hold everyone and Elder Princess Shroob so Plan B was taking the fight to present day! Anyway, the heroes kill off Princess Shroob and… what's this? The Cobalt Star is acting strange? Yeeeeup, it's a prison hosting Elder Princess Shroob herself! She calls out the heroes for destroying their kind because their planet was dying. Hey, lady… you ever thought of, oh, I don't know, coming in peace instead of being a stereotypical alien that shoots first, explains way later after the humans are brought to extinction? Goodness gracious, I love chaos as much as the next villain, but come on, there's no way to be a stereotypical alien! Oi… oh look, Esdeath is back and… oh, would you look at that, Calasmos decides to throw his influence into Elder Princess Shroob."
He let out a laugh. "For those who don't know who Calasmos looks like, you can go on the SRS TV Tropes page and find Calasmos there. For those who do know who he looks like… doesn't he look like a sentient evil blueberry controlling a mech? Come on, Square, you can do better than that! Why not have Tetsuya Nomura design him? …Oh, wait, he'd give Calasmos all the belts and zippers and make him a Final Fantasy villain… or perhaps a new Kingdom Hearts villain. Boom, figured out your next villain after the Master of Masters and his friends that refuse to take off their costumes after a costume party. I'll be expecting my royalties in the mail!"
With a chuckle, Hades continued. "With that out of the way, Elder Princess Shroob knocked around everyone and… wait, what's this? Oh, the Star Allies have come to save the day? Well, this is gonna go swimmingly. Oh… wait, they didn't stand a chance. Not even Kirby can strike her down! …Wait, Kirby couldn't do it? I'm gonna go pull an Aladdin real quick: Kirby, Kirby, if he can't do it… GREAT!" He let out a chuckle. "Anywho, it seems our heroes are in a pickle… until Sonic pulls out the Chaos Emeralds and his group of friends goes and destroys the Elder Shroob for good, and then Dedede gives them a scolding for reassembling the Cobalt Star! Oh, I failed to mention that during this time, the Phantom Thieves are busy dealing with fanboys giving them a bad rap, Sae moves into the Mushroom Kingdom and Sojiro is nonchalantly giving coffee away while the world is ending. So! After all this has happened… what happens next?"
"I ALWAYS come back!"
"No no, not William Afton… but Dark Ruby makes a return and beats the hell out of Ruby while scaring the heck out of Byleth, who happens to be Ruby's therapist… and everyone's only therapist, seriously, does Remnant not have therapists at all? No wonder everyone is in such a bad mood in the canon show. Imagine Ironwood taking the time to see a therapist, then a good chunk of volume 8 wouldn't have happened! Come to think of it, I think blondie would need a therapist after her arm got cut off… why are there no therapists in the show! Half of the problems the characters have wouldn't have happened if there was a proper therapist! Do I need to send Byleth there and fix everyone? Good gravy! And you call me the villain here? I think RoosterTeeth is worse than I am! …Wait a minute, Byleth fixes RWBY? Get on that, Fanfiction writers. There's a goldmine for ya!"
He cleared his throat. "Anyway, Ruby is nearly killed by Dark Ruby but everyone's favorite Scottish girl comes in with a new player on the field. Give it up for Galar's top MMA fighter, Bea! In the red corner, we have Dark Ruby! In the blue corner, we have Bea! Fighters ready, and begi-… oooh, Bea already knocked her out, aaaand Machamp sends her flying! TKO! Anywho, I'm getting ahead of myself… before this happened, Sienna and the White Fang writes a peace treaty with Princess Peach and Adam boy doesn't take it so well. Luckily Master Hand sends him packing into the forest. Hope that brings nothing horrible to the table! Anyway, where was I? Oh right, Ruby gets herself nearly killed, but she snuggles up with a Kubfu and what happens? She decides to run away to Galar to get herself stronger, surely that's not gonna give anyone a heart attack!"
"RUBY! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"Ah, the sweet sound of despair! However, before we get into the next story… I want to touch up on a few things. Ironwood and Bowser pull a Tom and Jerry routine, and Ironwood crosses the line into his canon self… or at least, he would have if it wasn't retconned out. I smell AU material here. Anywho, Ironwood gets his head straightened out when surprise, some Blood Gulch idiots knock him out. Ol' Tucker boy flirts with Esdeath and it nearly kills him… then again, I'm surprised his flirting antics never kills him, and thus begins Ironwood's descent into happiness when it's suggested he takes a vacation. …What's this? Ironwood takes a vacation? Hey, canon Ironbutt! Get yourself an Esdeath… or someone equivalent to Esdeath. Surely there's still time! …Oh, wait, poor you got duped. Never mind!"
He let out a grin. "Speaking of Esdeath! The lady gets her backstory and I believe it was in the middle of writing the backstory that Nanny boy figured out that Esdeath should be a good guy! …I think. He claims he doesn't remember when he decided it was time to turn Esdeath into a good guy. Should we call him Neville? …Nah, that's an insult to Neville."
"Hey!"
"You make it too easy, Nanny Boy!" Hades teased. "Anywho, Esdeath's backstory is revealed and she is the only one who can get away with calling him Irondaddy. Esdeath introduces Winter to the Winter Ops and then we get to see Willow changing her life around and building a new home in Toad Town, while, well, would you look at that. Adam Taurus forms a new group called the Crimson Fang… and look, the devil dog joins the gang! Now then… onto the next story!"
End BGM
RWBY: Isle of Armor
"So, while Ruby ran off, she decided to do Pokemon battles… by attacking them with her scythe. This catches Gloria's attention and tells her that's not how to fight giant Dynamaxed Pokemon. She somehow survived attacking a giant Zeraora, but her scroll was a massive casualty! So with some advice from Gloria and making some new friends, she roughs it in the wild area… and it snows on her overnight! Apparently, Dark Ruby scared her so much that she didn't think things through and ran off to train up… because she didn't think about Dark Ruby coming after her. People do the weirdest things when they're scared. So how's everyone holding up when Rose Petals disappeared? Let's see, Yang realizes how much of a bad sister she is, Pitty Pat, Weiss and Blake are tirelessly searching, Ghira somehow becomes chieftain of a group of Lynels… it's just another day in paradise! However, after a Pokemon battle with Piers, Yang contacts MAJC after he asks her if she truly did contact everyone, then WBY, Sun, Neptune, Pit, Claude and MAJC, or as I like to call 'em, MAJCCZ, set off to Galar… and they find Ruby after trial and error. Surely, their reunion will be sweet! …Oh wait."
"Ruby…"
"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! Every time I get like this, you're nowhere to be seen! You're off like, practicing your Hadoken, teasing K. Rool, or like… going off somewhere to vent your frustrations! You've NEVER been there for me while I'm despairing! What kind of sister doesn't be there for her baby sister when she's in pain?! You're off doing who knows what while you leave me high and dry!"
"Ruby, you're in pain. I'mma pretend I don't exist and throw a hot as hell therapist at you while I go off and tease the heck out of crocodile butt! Have fun!" Hades snarked. "And the "Sister of the year" award goes to… Yang! Anyway, while the sisters are butting heads, allow me to draw your attention away for just a second because things are getting pretty hairy with JINX!"
Healing of the Soul
"So, Xena's getting all mopey. Her Quagsire isn't doing much to help out with her problem. Her teammates decide to let her get some fresh air and take her to the Smash Mansion where Akira and Yu are having a riveting game of… Chess. Don't pull a hamstring, you two! Anyway, Iris wishes they could go inside the mind and take care of Dark Xena herself, and that's when Joker has inspiration and sets up a team with some of the Phantom Thieves, the Investigation Team, JINX, Umber, who wants to help out, Mewtwo and a mopey Byleth who's throwing a pity party because she's blaming herself for nearly killing Ruby. Turns out Dark Ruby is more than just a bully than Byleth had thought, so she tags along because she's Xena's therapist. They all go out to Bob-omb Battlefield and then they head into Mementos to confront Dark Xena!"
"LET'S GO!"
"And thus, begins the battle… however Dark Xena manages to overpower everyone and put them in chains while she has a one on one duel with Xena. …Wait a minute, she overpowered and chained up Mewtwo? The so-called most powerful Pokemon? Guess he's not as powerful as he claims! So anyway, the two Xenas have a catfight and then… Dark Xena deals the finishing blow. However! There's a twist…"
"Why… why do you keep pushing me out…"
"Yeeeeup, turns out Dark Xena wasn't so evil after all. She was just in so much pain, she decided to lash out! And we can thank Mewtwo for unwittingly making it worse! Though Ozzy boy is also responsible since he thought Xena needed no more therapy, resulting in them not merging as one. However, just like in Persona 4, Xena finally accepts Dark Xena and they become one, where they can change personalities on a whim… and the two dunderheads becomes the most powerful young lady of Team JINX. Oh, and there's a little ship tease between them and Umber. My my, Umber with two girlfriends in one body? Scandalous! Anyway, Team JINX then heads off to go on vacation, where they end up in a pipe cannon and shoots them out of this world! Where do they end up? I'm not spoiling a thing! Now back to Galar!"
Back in Galar…
"So, the group decides to head over to Isle of Armor and Ruby's relationship with her team is at an all time low, especially with Weiss who is absolutely frustrated with her and reminds her that she should've been team later. Ouch! They arrive at the Isle of Armor and what do you know, we have our villains for this story. Avery and Klara! …Who are villains for like three chapters before they become best buds with the heroes. Well, that's a new record! Technically, they're not really villainous… just your standard Pokemon rival! Anyway, they meet up with Mustard and his wife, Galarian Daisy- I mean Honey. They do a few trials but then we get to the juicy tidbit. Ruby finally swallows her pride and asks for help from her team! Surely, suuuurely things are patched up!"
"Pffft, well, of course you need help! I mean, you did give us heart attacks for a week and causing me to not sleep for a week, so of course you need help. A lot of it. I'm sure a lot more therapy with Byleth will help."
"…Can we pull the clip of the crowd facepalming from Naked Gun real quick?"
*Naked Gun 33 1/3 Facepalm Sound Effect*
"Thank you! And the second award for Sister of the Year goes to Yang! After that, we get a sister throwdown… in the rain! And while this is happening, Gloria has her second fight with Klara in a cave! For what, mushrooms? And no, it's not a fist fight… even though that would have been slightly more entertaining, it was a Pokemon battle. Oh, and Ruby and Yang reconcile after Ruby wins the sister throwdown and begs her to help out. Speaking of help, remember Byleth in the side story? We see her chatting with Ozzy boy and comforts her, saying it's not her fault… and then we are introduced to the biggest bitch of all of Danganronpa… Hiyoko Saiyonji! What does she say when meeting with Byleth and Ozzy Boy?"
"C'mon, are we just gonna stand around and wait for an exposition dump while this dark bitch is probably hunting Ruby down as we speak? Let's move!"
"That's right, she's not as quite the hag she used to be, says she reserves her inner bitch for those who deserve it. Good on you! Now then, along with these two, the Toad Brigade and Ozzy Boy joins the gals along with Qrow and Tai, they meet up with Ruby and co at the island, Byleth apologizes and while all this is going on, the Reds and Blues are finding every single Diglett on the island, heck… even an upgraded Penny shows up and reunites with Ruby! Anyway, Yang realizes how low she's gone and decides to take the path of redemption by apologizing to K. Rool once Ruby felt she was ready to leave Galar. K. Rool surprisingly forgives Yang so easily because apparently, K. Rool did what he did because he couldn't take her teasing anymore so he did all of that nonsense to teach her a lesson. So! While RWBY, the DK Crew, Shantae and friends, Tifa, Banjo and even a Piranha Plant party with K. Rool… guess who decides to show up at Bowser's crib again? That's right, Cindy Lou Hoo has rejoined the story and they go off to a comet."
Hades smirked. "Well, would you look at that. After being referenced in the story for who knows how long, Rosalina finally makes her debut… and she had quite the bit of fighting knowledge under her belt as she easily wipes the floor Bowser and Cinder… but wait, we have a new villain! Everyone, please give a warm introduction to the man of 300 IQ, Dr. Ivo Robotnik, AKA Eggman! …Wait a minute, Bowser working with a fellow villain? Suuuuurely that won't bite Bowser in the tail like the last time he teamed up with someone. Subspace Emissary anyone? Anywho, Eggboy and Metal Sonic ambush Rosalina and knock her out, then they steal the Grand Stars and leave… all the while Yang and K. Rool get themselves drunk at the party!"
Hades smiled. "Now, before I go into the Star Festival, let me take a little detour and say that a few days before the Star Festival, Whitley finds himself a cute little Faunus girlfriend named Ling, who he immediately hits it off while dear ol' Jacky Boy haunts him and say that all Faunus are scum. Oh, and the devil dog shoots him but he escapes with Ling… then she leaves without giving chase. Sheesh, way to make yourself known there, Devil Dog! Anywho, on to the Star Festival!"
Super RWBY Galaxy
BGM: Good Egg Galaxy (Super Mario Galaxy)
"Now, a good majority of those who were at Isle of Armor are part of the main cast in this one, but Ozzy Boy doesn't go, Sonic makes a return, and so does Ilia and her cute girlfriend, Mercedes… and wouldn't you know it, Travis Touchdown makes his debut! …And he wasn't even predicted by Nanny Boy, not even that blockhead you call Steve. Ah well! Gloria also goes solo on this one and leaves her friends behind, how rude! Bowser and Eggman hijack Peach's Castle into space… gee, I wonder where they got that idea! So, they all head off into space… unwillingly I might add, and while they are trying to figure out how space works… mind if I direct your attention to everyone's favorite dorky metal head?"
"AW YEAH! IT'S IBUKI'S TIME TO SHINE NOW!"
"Simmer down there, bucket brain!" Hades teased. "Now, while they're in space, Ibuki tries to find Sonia Nevermind. How does she do it? Why, she goes to hell to see if she's in there, but she ends up meeting up with the man who rips and tears until it is done, Doom Guy! …Doom Guy, eh? Are we missing something here?"
Super Smash Bros Ultimate x DOOM
"EIGHT FOR EIGHT, MY BOY! You just can't escape this! Face it, you're doomed. So anyway, Ibuki, being Ibuki, makes Doom Guy go absolutely insane because he can't handle her fabulous display of nonsense! By the time they take down the Icon of Sin, Doom Guy attempts to silence her. Hey, rule number one with Ibuki, you can't silence her. Believe me, I've tried with duct taping her mouth and wrapping her body around in chains but to my surprise, she McGyver'd her way out of it. I'm not sure she managed to pull that off…"
"Ibuki refuses to share her secret!"
"Obviously." Hades mumbled. "Anyway, Ibuki says her goodbyes to the Doom Slayer and we don't see him again until way later. Ibuki, however, traverses her way to the Comet Observatory where everyone else meets Rosie for the very first time. Ibuki comes in for a landing and then Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Cream drop in to say hello as well. Then shenanigans happen! But wait! Dark Ruby is also in space with a boatload of Grimm and we have Washington and Meta back into play, and they all team up again! Meanwhile, Eggboy created a robot to counter RWBY by calling it R3-B7, who has studied RWBY through the Smash Mansion… my, aren't we a stalker today! Oh, and they also have to recollect the Chaos Emeralds because they flew off into outer space after their fight with Princess Shroob. Oh, I'm sure Weiss took that well!"
"You mean to tell me… that you had the most powerful jewels from your world… and you just let them FLY AWAY?!"
"At the speed of light too! I may break the sound barrier, but I don't run at the speed of light. It's not my style."
"ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!"
"I guess we'll just have to find them again!"
"With what, a magnifying glass?" Hades snarked. "Anywho, they go around and search for the Power Stars and the Chaos Emeralds, reunite with Team JINX who were having a vacation at Beach Bowl Galaxy and they eventually find a Chaos Emerald, but those pesky Emeralds tend to light up when they interact and that catches the attention of everyone so Dark Ruby and her team plus R3-B7 goes to fight them! Who arrives first? Dark Ruby of course! Meta decides to take Pyrrha away and Washington follows, leaving Carolina and JNR to go after them. At this time, everyone on the Observatory bands together to put a stop to Dark Ruby once and for all, and to which I can safely say…"
"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"
"Pretty much that! So, while Dark Ruby sends her Grimm army to keep everyone at bay and she has a one on one duel with Ruby, Pyrrha witnesses Meta impaling Jauney boy, Washington has a heel-face turn and Pyrrha… goes absolutely insane and drop kicks Meta into a black hole. Wow, he was in the story for five minutes and he goes out like that? Sheesh! Anywho, Ruby and Dark Ruby have their battle, R3-B7 arrives fashionably late and targets the both of them, the two of them team up and tear the robot to shreds and then Hiyoko jumps in and together with Ruby, they put a stop to her… but not before Hiyoko gives her a very satsifying humiliating wedgie! Ruby, I know this isn't you, but you should have taken a picture of it and sent it to everyone. A humiliation conga doesn't hurt anyone… except for Dark Ruby."
He chuckled. "Anyway, Dark Ruby has had enough and takes down Ruby's team and is ready to kill them, until Silver Eyes Ex Machina happens and not only that, but Summer makes a return and slices through Dark Ruby like butter, then Dark Ruby is blown away from the Sonic Power Cannon from the Blue Typhoon! See Sega? THIS is how you do fanservice! But why is Summer back? Apparently after Ruby ran away, Summer couldn't stand seeing her daughter suffer anymore so she comes back and wants to put an end to it… after Maya "accidentally" throws a chair in her face. Seriously, Summer forgetting she's a ghost and keeps getting hurt is a pretty hilarious running gag! Anyway, R3-B7 leaves after having an encounter with Penny… and then we do more shenanigans and get some folks from Gensokyo involved. That's right, Reimu and Marisa make a return and gladly help out the heroes! …Well, it was more Yukari dumping them on the Observatory but close enough!"
Hades grinned. "Oh, and we get a pretty good fight scene with Penny and R3-B7. The latter doesn't want to fight because Penny hits her with a "What is your purpose" but Eggboy reprograms her with Frenzy and proceeds to beat the heck out of Penny, a few of her friends arrive as R3-B7 malfunctions and tells them to take Penny away while she flees back to her HQ… and then we see Rosalina beat the living heck out of Cinder while JINX toys with Mercury and Emerald. How does Cinder handle it? Well, she takes her frustrations out on Peach and Junior, but Bowser puts a stop to it and says some words that stings Bowser to the core… and then, we go back to more intergalactic shenanigans until Eggman gets himself beat up and oh, would you look at that, Bowser's intergalacic conquest is about to blow up the entire universe! It's as if using seven Grand Stars to make a galaxy was a terrible idea… if only someone would have warned them! …Oh wait. Rosie did! At the end of Isle of Armor!"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn Sound Effect*
"Wah wah! So Eggboy leaves and joins the heroes, R3-B7 who is looking worse for wear pleads with Penny to kill her but she refuses to and desperately tries to save her, but Eggboy shoves a Cyan Wisp into her and lasers struck R3-B7 that kills her. I believe a review said it best: "Damn"." He chuckled. "Anywho, they go fight Bowser and lo and behold… the universe implodes in on itself and that's the end of SRS!"
"Do you hear the baby stars? These newborns will grow up to become galaxies someday. When stars die, they turn to stardust and scatter across the cosmos. Eventually, the stardust reforms to create a new star… and so the cycle of life continues. But the cycle never repeats itself in quite the same way. So… you'll see."
"Never mind! Everyone lives! …And it definitely rocks a certain bandit to the core." Hades smirked. "The weak die, the strong live… those are the rules. HA! Well, she died but was put back together! I'm sure that won't make Raven have an existential crisis! Oh, and yours truly comes back into the fold! I'm back, baby! But… someone returns to Cloud's life. A certain… darkness that refuses to stay dead! Give it up for Sephiroth! …Wait a moment, didn't I bring Sephiroth back from the dead in an early Chibi skit? Surely, by now, Nanny boy would have learned by now not to mess with fa-"
Sephiroth Descends Into Battle!
"…Oh Nanny Boy~ Are you sure you're not just a reincarnation of Sakurai?" Hades grinned. "Your predictions are spot on! Hey, there's a rumor that Mario Kart 9 will bring another twist to the table… or is Mario Kart: Crossroads? Go on, tell us! Tell us who's in the next Mario Kart!"
"Mario."
"Oh please, give us a wilder answer that no one will see coming!"
"Fine, Samus!"
"You heard it, folks! If Samus makes it to Mario Kart 9 or Crossroads, you can definitely make your suspicions known that he secretly works for Nintendo! Anywho, Rosalina decides to stay in Remnant, become fast friends with Ibuki, Summer gets a bit awkward heading back to her home in Patch, Gloria is worried sick about her mother, but reunites with her, Rosie puts two Remnant Gods in their place and all's well that ends well for this story!"
"Nnngh… that bitch… that horrid… red… BITCH!"
"OH FOR UNDERWORLD'S SAKE! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!" Hades roared. "You are literally too angry to die, it's annoying as can be. Plot armor won't be there to save you forever… you might as well have final boss privileges! Oi… anyway, how's the weather over there in the paper universe, paper me?"
"Oh, it's absolutely dreadful for everyone! Allow me!"
Super Paper RWBY
"So, in my neck of the woods, Peach is once again kidnapped and RWBY, JNPR, the Galar Quad and… surprisingly, Steve from Minecraft goes to Bowser's Castle when… surprise, it's not Bowser who kidnaps her but someone named Count Bleck! He sends everyone around the world while someone named Tippi shows up and sends Mario, RWBY and Gloria to Flipside. They collect some Pure Hearts, reunite with some friends, Luigi sacrifices himself while saving Neo, Marnie and Hoopa… oh, did I forget to mention that because Bowser and Peach were forced to marry to create the Chaos Heart and summoned a void to destroy all worlds, it gets Arceus involved? So much so that it gets the Legendaries, Mythicals and even the Ultra Beasts!"
"Well! Isn't that something!" Hades grinned. "Continue!"
"So anyway, they reunite with Luigi and JNPR but they're under Mr. L and the Phantom Four. Then Ruby manages to talk to a flower that gives her a Pure Heart and… then our world gets destroyed because of events that happened in your world. Oh! Speaking of your universe, your Dry Bowser crosses over to our dimension and seeks someone who will help him out with his scheme. Speaking of schemes, a world they go into gets absolutely wrecked by the void… and when they go back in, it's nothing more than a white void… and this is where Ruby's descent into insanity starts! Because you can thank Dimentio for sending her to the Underwhere along with everyone else."
"Ruby goes insane, eh? Ooooh, I can't wait to hear about this!"
"Indeed! Everyone gets out of the Underwhere, they go back in, me and my Underworld pals decide to mess with them, Akechi makes his debut and Ruby has herself a little tantrum where she sees the void in the Overthere… and she confides to Summer that she's losing the will to fight, and wouldn't you know it, Dimentio overhears the conversation! So what happens? He kidnaps her and goes on and on about how her mentality is like a firmly built dam but it's cracking and weakening… then pulls an Ice Age on her and mentions someone will shove an acorn on the crack to destroy it and irreparable damage will follow!"
"Did the clown have to drag in Ice Age for this?"
"Apparently so, because soon they get to Castle Bleck where… one by one, everyone is picked off, leaving only Ruby, Mario and Akechi. Before I continue, there was a brief backstory on how Blumiere became Count Bleck and shows off how he recruits everyone, and then we get this juicy little tidbit from Dimentio!"
End BGM
"A hero will fall into despair and will succumb to the temptations of the Chaos Heart. That is what was written in the Light Prognosticus."
"Oh my! How interesting!" Hades grinned. "Why, I can imagine the fanbase collectively going:"
"NO, GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I was wondering when we'd ever reference that show!" Paper Hades said. "It's about time, if I say so myself. Anywho, Mario, Akechi and a very depressed Ruby fights Bleck and Nastasia, but then Mario gets himself brainwashed and is about to clobber Ruby… when everyone shows back up and knocks him to his senses, then Dimentio makes his move and then… here comes the ultimate gut shot! Dimentio manipulates Ruby some more and then… it happens."
"RUBY NO! DON'T DO THIS! Rememer keep moving forward?! You have to remember that!"
"…Keep moving forward… KEEP MOVING FORWARD?! What is the DAMN POINT of it all if everyone is dead?! You've seen the Sammer Kingdom… but you just keep saying "Let's just keep moving forward!" How can one move forward if everyone is dead?! How can anyone move forward if their family or loved ones are dead… HOW CAN SOMEONE MOVE FORWARD IF THEIR WORLD HAS BEEN DESTROYED?! I am so… so sick of this phrase! I am so SICK OF IT ALL! I… I WANT THIS TO END!"
"And thus… the dam has been completely destroyed! Irreparable damage is soon to follow! Ahahahaha!"
"Sheriff, this is no time to panic."
"THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!"
"That pretty much sums up the fanbase, wouldn't you agree?" Paper Hades grinned.
"Pretty much!" Hades nodded.
"Then they fight Phantom Dimentio and Chaos Ruby, where they almost lose but Count Bleck and Tippi come back swinging with the Pure Hearts and knocks them both out! Unfortunately, despite their winnings, Dimentio has the last laugh and mentions they can never undo Chaos Ruby's fate… and then he dies, Bleck and Tippi get married and restore order, Dry Bowser comes in and revives Dimentio and… Chaos Ruby leaves Beacon because Ozzy Boy thought it was a good idea. Oh, and then my version of Dark Ruby gets destroyed."
"Oh? How'd it go?"
"Chaos Ruby ripped her to shreds. It wasn't really that satsifying… I mean, it is for me, but it's not satisfying for everyone else. Heh… well, I'm leaving it to you now, my good man… we're kinda going through a… rough spot."
"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad!"
"Sticker Star."
"Oooooh… well, hang in there! Now it's back to me? Well… let's kick it off with this next story!"
RWBY: The Crown Tundra
"First off, I want to mention that Weiss did something stupid back in space. She twisted her ankle and she attempted to walk it off, where it repeatedly got injured until she was forced to sit in a wheelchair. Her friends came over for a sleepover to cheer her up… and then they go into Bowser's Castle where she was willing to throw down while stuck in the wheelchair. Impressive! Turns out Bowser was in a sad mood because Cinder's words haunted him over a terrible father he was. Luckily, they cheered him up and then Bowser turns the tables on Cinder and locks up her Maiden powers. Mwahahaha! Oh… and Pitty Pat gives Ruby a nendoroid and Amiibo version of herself after beating up Cardin and friends."
He let out a chuckle. "Now that I got out of the way, Arceus and Regigigas come to Weiss's house and they ask them to head to Galar in search of a Legendary Pokemon and two creations that Regigigas had lost. Not only do the Schnees go, but so do the Belladonna's, Whitley's girlfriend, MAJCCZ, Sun, Neptune and Gloria while Ruby works on her silver eyes with her mother's help. So they head to the Crown Tundra, Gloria nearly beats up an old man that looks like someone she knows, Blake meets an Absol… and they do some scavenger hunts while the Absol stalks Blake, and then they meet up with the Legendary Pokemon… Calyrex! You might be wondering why this Absol is stalking Blake…"
"My nose never lies, Adam. All Schnees smell the same, it makes no difference."
"Yup! Adam and the devil dog make their move! Calyrex is back at full power, he heals up Weiss's foot, Blake and Weiss walk around the Tundra and then disaster strikes! Adam and the devil dog attacks, but their focus is mainly on Weiss because of the SDC brand that Jacky Boy gave them, in fact, they nearly kill Weiss! And they would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling Rathalos that Weiss raised! Both of them get disarmed and they flee while Weiss is unconscious. While this is happening, Weiss sent a distress text to Ruby's family and Rosalina and they go to Galar, along with JNPR who took a vacation in Hyrule and got themselves some new powers thanks to the Hylian Champions!"
Hades let out a chuckle. "So what happened after that? While Weiss is down and out, everyone else goes to uncover Regigigas's children… and that's when I step in and mess around for a bit. Whitley gets his semblance, Penny arrives along with a newly revived R3-B7, now named SAPR, I take my leave after I have a fight with Summer and Rosie… and wouldn't you know it, Gloria gets completely upset when she finds out Regieleki could have easily taken care of Galar's energy crisis! I should've stayed for that… that was glorious! Then we have an invasion of Ultra Beasts, and then there's a Galarian Star Tournament where Weiss and Blake team up after Weiss resolves with Blake over the Crimson Fang issue and… I never thought I'd say this, but Ruby is the final boss of this story! I didn't think I'd ever see the day! She and Gloria give Weiss and Blake a lot of trouble, but in the end, they win and we are finally introduced to the Winter Ops, but Esdeath isn't there… where could she have gone?"
Hades smirked. "Why, she has a fight with Sephiroth, of course! He roughs her up pretty well, leaves and just as Esdeath is about to leave… she's quickly ambushed by the devil dog and nearly kills her! And no one realizes it until the next day where Ruby admits she's trying to be more serious to Weiss, then she and Blake storm into the prison and demands information about Jacky boy… and then they go off to the Monster Community with Neo to work on their magic. The Winter Ops learn about Esdeath's condition, and the blondie is now a mother to a cute little Cosmog."
With a continuing smirk, Hades continued. "So, what happens after this? Weiss and Blake head to the Monster Community where no humans are allowed except for those who work with Bowser, and it seems Marnie is living there… and has conflicted feelings about the whole ordeal. She likes helping Bowser but is not sure what everyone else would think, and is struggling to confess her loyalty to him. So after some magic training… a few days happen with shenanigans like Bowser's sister comes back along with her wife, Roy Koopa pulls a canon Yang, Pyra and Mythra join the roster, Blake gets over her fear of dogs with a dalmatian, Bowsette wonders if she's a good mother because her anxiety was through the roof… and suddenly, Roman and Neo go missing! Gasp! Who could have done such an event?"
He let out a chuckle. "First, let me tell you that Cardin and co have a Come to Arceus meeting with a Magnamalo, Dry Bowser returns to our realm with Dimentio and he magically makes himself 3D, then Medusa shows up and they head over to Salem's Castle where they fix up Dark Ruby, now fittingly named Grimm Ruby. This girl is literally too angry to die! Then after that… they start to lay low because Fawful makes a grand return and ambushes not only Sephiroth, but he also ambushes Ganondorf after his date with Urbosa! All the while Esdeath wakes up from her coma and goes off to comfort Weiss while Marnie is writing her feelings out in a journal… and thus begins the next story because Fawful silenced all the villains, except for yours truly, of course!"
RWBY: Bowser's Inside Story
"I'm guessing "Plus Bowser Jr's Journey" was too wordy." Hades teased. "Anyhow, we have ourselves a blorb pandemic! And instead of Bowser being thrown out of the castle, he stays because the blorb crisis hit his kingdom too. Joining on this adventure is Wild Zelda, Impa, Terrako, Toon and Young Link because Link got hit with the blorbs, Winter Ops and Esdeath are here as well, and so is Amelia Gadd because the good ol' professor got hit with the blorbs as well! While this is happening, Junior goes off to find the cure of his own with the help of the Koopalings, Bowsette, the Goomba Squad and… oh, would you look at this, Marnie! I wonder what kind of event will happen to this young lady? Oh, but then Bowser eats a Mushroom that causes him to suck in everyone, including Team MAJC, Leone, some mechanic named Souda and he winds up KO'd after eating everyone up… oh, and Umber joins Junior's squad. Not only that, but Sonia Nevermind makes her grand appearance! Where was she? Apparently, she was hanging out with Freddy Kreuger and Michael Meyers in the Dead by Daylight universe. Who woulda thunk! Kyoko Kirigiri and Asahina follow after Bowser and… Sora, Donald and Goofy finally make it to our universe! Took them long enough, they should've just asked for directions. Hahaha!"
With a clear of his throat, Hades contiued. "So, Sora and co head off to figure out how to cure the blorbs as Terry Bogard goes along with them, some people wake up in Bowser's gut and eventually wakes him up as he finds Roman and Neo… and then Fawful and Midbus show up, they trap Bowser's friends in his wand and is about to finish him off, but Kyoko and Asahina come in to save the day! And then… pffft… hahahaha! Who would've thought someone like Kyoko would be someone that Bowser has a genuine respect for that isn't some rival! She's not 100% in the Koopa Troop either, this is hilarious, honestly!"
He wiped a tear from his eye. "Anyway, while Bowser's squad is growing, Junior and his squad had rapidly declined to just Iggy, Morton, Marnie, Umber, Sonia, the Goomba Squad, Kamek and General Guy… but then Iggy gets ambushed so he's out of the picture for a while… and thus, we are introduced to everyone's favorite punching bag: Damian! …Wait, you mean to tell me that this guy is a Loss Leader, one of Calasmos's top dogs, and his name is… Damian. I don't think that's fitting for a monster, especially for something like Dragon Quest. Oh well! He's still a punching bag… and he targets Marnie because he thinks she's easy pickings but she learned magic from Hyrule and beat him up. He leaves… for now, but don't worry, his slip into insanity is just beginning! So, after all this, Bowser and Co reach Plack Beach and stuns the heck out of Kyoko by pulling an island to the main land… of course, he had some help from the inside but he doesn't know… oh, and Sora and Co show up and teams up with Bowser! Are we sure they're all not Bowser's minions?"
Hade laughed. "Anyhow, they go ahead and fight a statue, save Wario and Waluigi, and then they have a little water break. Meanwhile, Roy and Bowsette fight, one of the Best Fitness Friends show up and nearly kills Bowsette if it wasn't for… James Ironwood making a return, and he's sporting one fine looking beard! Then Bowser gets his flame back, they storm into the forest and meets up with Pyra and Mythra! Heheheh… better watch out, Sora…" He smirked. "Then they go further along, discover they need a Banzai Bill and they proceed to compost a Wiggler's face, shoot the Banzai Bill and… the castle dodges it and crushes Bowser, but not for long as the Mario Bros and Ruby powers him up and then he fights his castle with Sora on his shoulder. So what are Junior's crew doing? Collecting Ever Ice and everyone's favorite punching bag returns and re-fights Marnie out of revenge… and kicks her into lava! He would've gotten away with it… but earlier on, Kamek gave her a permanent immunity to lava, so she wraps herself in a lava plume and takes down the punching bag while he fights Sonia and Umber. He leaves and they head off while Bowser and co reach Bowser's Castle… and Bowser throws a cannonball just to flex on Midbus!"
"That… was awesome…"
"Hey, it even impressed Kyoko! So, Bowser and Co go inside the castle and beat the living tar of out of Midbus and celebrate with snacks! …Bowser, you're looking a little chubby there! Oh, he got morbidly obese! They fell right into a trap! RWBY and Co find Peach but to absolutely no one's surprise, she gets kidnapped and Bowser falls into a room filled with explosives and takes Kyoko and Aoi with him, and then they explode. So, during all this, Junior's Squad reunites with Bowsette and Ironwood, they mix together some ingredients and… what do you know, it was a trap and Morton gets possessed! Not only that, but our favorite punching bag returns… and gets his butt whooped and Sonia asserts dominance on him! So… how does our punching bag feel about this? Weeeeell…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"Marnie gets her eyes cut off and then sacrifices herself to save Junior! That's loyalty to the Koopa Troop if I've ever seen one. "Honorary", huh?" Hades smirked. "So, with everyone regrouping at the beach and Marnie becoming part cyborg… it's at this point where I'm pretty sure everyone who loves Marnie have only one thing to say to Damian."
"AVENGERS! …Assemble."
"Bah, say "Assemble" with more gusto, Cap! Anyway! Marnie finally confesses her loyalty to the Koopa Troop and is officially part of it! …So while they go reunite with Iggy, Bowser and Co wake up in the mines and Kyoko scolds Bowser after Asahina is healed up, then tells him about the time Junko made their lives miserable, and Bowser Boy suggests that if he were there, he'd wipe the floor with Junko! Heh… well, I believe there's a Chibi that explores that."
"This melee's winner is… Bowser!"
"I can't believe you forgot to include the part at the end of the skit. Fixed it for you! So anyway, they get out of the tunnel, reunite with everyone and Sora says he figured out Bowser was a bad guy all along. And then Kyoko reveals everyone was inside Bowser all along… and how does he take it?"
"WHY WERE YOU HAVING A HOEDOWN IN MY BODY?!"
"Hey, RWBY, JNPR and Pitty Pat had a hoedown in my body too! This isn't their first rodeo! Pffft, amateur… he took it better than I thought! Anyway, after some taunting from Fawful, Bowser rallies everyone up and motivates them, then they head off while recruiting more villains. Meanwhile, Junior's Squad reunites with Ludwig and they run into RWBY and Co where they all comfort Marnie over her predicament. Then we see Bowser and Co make their way through, sneeze their way through the area, get crushed by a tower and Junior's Squad meets up with his father's party and then Bowser grows up and pummels the tower, then we see Junior and Bowser reunite aaaand a sickeningly sweet reunion of Marnie, Neo and Roman. Then we see Bowser and Co go into the tower while Junior's Squad heads off somewhere else. RWBY and Co get the first star cure and then Bowser and co leave for Bowser's Castle… and then they beat the living snot out of our favorite punching bag!"
"ENOUGH! I am a Loss Leader, you dull creatures. A Demon! And I will not be bullied by-" Bowser grabbed him by the leg and started slamming him into a few times before throwing him harshly on the ground.
"Puny demon."
"Told you he's a punching bag! So, while Captain Slime goes and tells a story over how his friendship with Damian fell apart, we turn our attention to Summer and Qrow who make their way over to Raven's camp and… well, Summer forgets she's a ghost and gets impaled. Then they have a nice talk before Summer tells her how she really feels with Raven going off the deep end… yeah, it's not like she's going through an existential crisis or anything, nope, just make her feel horrible! After that, Summer and Qrow leave… and then Raven gets an unexpected visitor. Akechi! He and Raven have a little chat… and then we see Ganondorf breaking out of his prison and Ibuki makes a cameo! Bowser and Junior split up after the latter group takes on a possessed Bookwyrm, Bowser has a problem with a jacked up Morton… and our punching bag gets a tank-"
"SONIA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
"Oh, and Ibuki reunites with Sonia. Meanwhile, Bowser gets ran over by a train but Ruby and the Bros revive him and he chases down a train that Mythra, Pyra and Sora staged a train robbery… and then Bowser throws the train down the canyon with Sora still in it, which is enough to terrify the Blades but Sora turns out alright… and then the Blades smother him in their breasts while acting like big sisters to him. Heheheh, lucky guy! Anywho, Junior's squad have a battle with tanks which results in two King Bills colliding after Ibuki has her way with the punching bag. Once the King Bills explode, the punching bag is humiliated further and pulls a Kylo Ren! So what does he do after throwing a Kylo Ren temper tantrum? He goes after RWBY's group to "compensate for his failure for the dark one" or something like that. What a baby! Oh yeah, Bowser gets thrown in his safe for like five minutes before Kyoko busts him out and he sends the Elite Trio packing! They do have the second Star Cure though!"
Hades let out a chuckle. "So, remember Esdeath and Sephiroth having a fight? They totally respect each other now, and we get a tease for Weiss vs Sephiroth! We also get a fight with a Behemoth, then they head back to Toad Town where they soon find the last Star Cure, but wait… before that happens, Ren gets kidnapped by Sockops, Nora pulls a Thor Ragnarok on them, they become a couple aaaand would you look at that, the punching bag shows up! …Who gets humiliated when Weiss dons the Fierce Deity Mask and wipes the floor with him, and she gets a permanent Diety power! …So wait, does this mean Weiss is technically a goddess now…? Demi-Goddess? Who knows… at least the punching bag got humiliated and now he's on his way back to Bowser's Castle! Okay, so this is where I would stop to re-evaluate my life and think things over, but nope, not the punching bag! He's livid! Once you cross the line into Kylo Ren territory, there's no going back!"
With another chuckle, he continued. "So, while he's going to get himself destroyed, the heroes gather all three Star Cures to create the Miracle Cure, and the first thing he does is wake up Wonder Boy, and entrusts the Miracle Cure to him! And thus, with a mighty Skyward Strike, he destroys the barriers and the resulting explosion sends the cure throughout the entirety of Remnant! …Say, wasn't there a Toad that decided to give a blorbed Beowolf a pink mustache? How'd that go well for him?"
"IT WAS A JOKE, I SWEAR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Raaaaaar!"
"I wonder if he's a fast runner? After all, Blue Toad in 3D World is a fast little bugger. Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine… or perhaps he's getting comfortable in the Underworld. I'll never tell!" Hades smirked. "Anywho, they storm Peach's Castle, they have a Thriller and YMCA dance competition, then Bowser crashes the party and takes over, more villains are saved including Cindy Girl, Bowser makes a cold cut, Dark Bowser enters his system and the Ice Goddess fails to kill him!"
"Glad to know I'm not what you're searching for. That said, I think it's time for you to leave."
"I concur."
"Wait no! Ugh, I meant from this world!"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn Sound Effect*
"Swing and a miss! Toad Town was destroyed because of you, Weiss! You could've killed him right there! Ah well, Bowser and Co chase after Fawful after Peach is kidnapped for the umpteenth time… seriously, everyone's playing hot potato with this chick, I swear! Bowser gets crushed, he reawakens and thus… Bowser's Fury becomes canon and yours truly video tapes the whole thing and sends it to Ruby and co! Truly riveting, if I say so myself! Oh, and Roy gets his head out of his butt after Junior smacks some sense into him, the BFFs turn into one ugly sonofagun but Sonia shoots it down and… oh look, it's everyone's favorite punching bag with his last stand! How does it go well for him? Well… Marnie and Piers caves in his skull after having enough of his shenanigans, the latter following Nora's advice."
"He was morbid to you. Be morbid back! Eye for an eye!"
"*sniff* They grow up so fast!" Hades faked a sniffle. "So! How does our punching bag go out? He goes out in style! He tries to do a murder-suicide yet he couldn't even accomplish the murder part! This is WHY I gave you all those "Worst villain trophies" in the Awards Ceremony, thank you very much! Ya know, I wonder if the fanbase all collectively went:"
"You get what you FUCKING deserve!"
BANG!
"I swear, if one of you didn't pull a Joker… you're welcome!" Hades smirked. "So, Junior's Squad celebrates while Fawful gets shish kebab'd by Sephiroth, then Bowser has a fight with himself and, oh my, it turns into a Heartless and wrecks house with everyone! However, a certain detective isn't willing to kick the bucket!"
"I've looked Death in the eyes on numerous occasions. And every time, I've survived that encounter. Put simply, I won't die easily."
Dark Bowser let out a chuckle and then swiftly swiped at Kyoko and smirked, claw marks appearing on Kyoko's right cheek as blood trickled down her wound. "Do you fear me?"
"I don't fear you."
"Hoowee, that's a badass right there! And oh look, Peach FINALLY does something after all this time! Bowser destroys his mirror and whoops, looks like his fury mode did a number on his castle because it's coming down! Not to worry, it gets easily repaired. So, after all that is done, everyone relaxes, the Class of 77-B are given permission to hang out in Toad Town… and, uh oh… someone's about to explode! Nyx's rivalry with Wario is a brewin'! She's gonna kill him for… for… ruining her TV show! PFFFT! HAHAHAHA! No, she's gonna kill him for ruining her childhood. Got you good, didn't I!"
He let out a laugh. "Anyway, before we go into the next story, allow me to share with you that Ruby and Yang learn more about Raven and… well, Yang takes it better than we thought she would! Uh oh, looks like Raven overheard the entire rant, and so did Akechi! Ouch… that's gotta sting. Eh, she'll get over it. Also, it looks like Cinder is crashing at Marnie's house for some pie! …And the start of a redemption?" He grinned mischieviously. "I'll just sprinkle some salt on that slice of pie! Mwahahaha! Next story!"
Wario Land: JINX It!
"So, apparently this all started because in the previous story, Wario discovers Bowser's vault and he and Waluigi steal it from under his nose! Bowser finds out, destroys Ozzy Boy's window and requests a mission… to which Nyx is all to eager to accept. She even drags Sarge, MAJCCZ and Umber for the ride! …Well, technically, Xena drags Umber along for the ride. So much for a well deserved nap! So, they go to WarioWare Inc and end up in the Shake Dimension where Nyx and the Wario Bros are forced to team up… because Captain Syrup is an opportunist don't you know! So while they're stuck in the Shake Dimension, Erik's sister, Mia, keeps robbing Wario blind. This catches Erik's attention and goes into Diamond City and… oh, look at that, Bowser storms in the city because he wants his cash back! Can't say I blame him."
Hades grinned. "So while those two go on a wild goose chase and JINX and Co wreak havoc in the Shake Dimension, not to mention a massive ship tease between the Xenas and Umber… seriously, get a room, you three! Might I suggest a love hotel? Hint hint~! Anyway, while all of this is going on, Weiss and Sephiroth finally have their long awaited duel… and it ends up in a tie and Weiss gains Sephiroth's respect. Wow! You don't see that very often! Oh, and Cardin apologizes to Velvet and we see Whitley's continuous journey to give dear ol' daddy Schnee a stroke! Back in the Shake Dimension, their shenanigans gets the attention of the Shake King and he immediately sends Nyx to sleep with the fishes! …Or at least he would have if Wario and Waluigi didn't save her. Speaking of which, Emerald comes into contact with Esdeath and the latter shows her kindness, something that Cinder failed to deliver. Seriously, it brings Emerald to tears. Who woulda thought!"
He let out a chuckle. "So, Nyx is out for a while and Anthony stays behind while everyone else goes to collect more treasure, derail a train, Yang gets her hair dyed and straightened out, Nyx wakes back up and Anthony confides to her that he knows what she's going through since he's been down a similar path and pleads with her not to take the path of revenge. She has a change of heart faster than what the Phantom Thieves are capable of doing, Nyx apologizes to everyone for her behavior and they set off for a jungle… meanwhile, Blake and Samus have a heart to heart and Samus invites Blake to go on an intergalactic mission with her the next time a bounty is available. Let's hope she keeps her sanity in check… mwahahaha! Anywho, JINX and Co fight a flower monster while at the same time, Ganondorf visits Hyrule Castle and discovers his origins from Demise… and how his death brings about Calamity Ganon! Ganon does the ultimate move and tells Ghirahim to his face that he is no longer interested and will work on letting go of his hatred and malice. Pfft, well, I'm sure you and Emperor Bowser will revive Demise a different way!"
Hades smirked. "So anyway, JINX and friends storm into Shake King's lair and… well, Shake King goes out in the most humiliating way possible! I still give him a hard time over this. Heheheh, we're never gonna let him hear the end of this! After that, Nyx has her well deserved duel with Wario and Waluigi, but she's not alone. Bowser storms into WarioWare Inc and together with Nyx, they pummel the duo to the ground and retakes the deed to Nyx's home! Erik reunites with his sister, the Schnees get their money back, MAJCCZ pummels Syrup, which the scorned woman doesn't take too kindly and frames them, forcing them to hide in Vacuo… and then we get some backstory on Bowser's wife, Sora's friends join the party, Kazuya Mishima and Akuma show up, and then Blake and Samus go off on a space adventure and brings along Rosalina, ROB and Pikachu along… and it's a hell of a ride!"
BGM: Title Theme (Metroid Dread)
SPBRR: Fusion
"All you need to know about this story is that Blake loses her mind and gets a few scars, physical AND mental, Samus constantly gets pissed off at the Space Pirates, Rosie tries to keep it together and gets injured a lot, Pikachu is being Pikachu, ROB gets constantly possessed by one of Samus's old friends and Ridley gets scared out of his tail because there's more than one Samus wandering around the station! It is truly a delight to see these six go through hell. I thoroughly enjoyed the popcorn, watching SA-X get smarter, a Metroid hungers for cat food… and we get to see Shou Tucker get humiliated and torn apart by his own Metroid daughter! Oh, Rosie also gets a dog."
Hades let out a chuckle. "And while this is happening in space, Weiss attempts to go to war against the X-Parasites, the devil dog thinks Adam is insane for getting a Glavenus, Hazel has a change of heart, Ruby gets another pooch, Mario and Peach have a casual date, Lunartics starts a relationship and it does NOT end with the three in a love hotel, seriously, it was chapter 69 for a reason! Missed an opportunity there, Nanny Boy, I don't care if Gaiden is Rated T for Teen! Oh, also, Whitley forms a boy band… kinda, it's more like a girl band and Whitley and Cardin are there. Whitley, Ling, Chelsea, Cardin and the new Faunus on the block: Kokoro!"
He let out another chuckle. "And then SPBRR finally makes it home very battered and brings home the Strike Force… and one small child. Heheh. Oh, but hold a moment, Samus gets a dream of her old friend Chell from K2L! I wonder why? Heheheheh… oh yeah, Blake goes into therapy, which leads to…"
Not Like You
"Blake runs away, finds herself a Nargacuga and has a lover's spat with her ex-boyfriend. Aqua comes in and dominates the two and, unfortunately, Blake is on the road to recovery. Shoot, I wanted to see more of Blake losing her mind. Hmm, maybe we'll see more of that in Dread, perhaps~? I'm just being hopeful. …Oh right, Futaba finally hacked her way through Remnant's network after Watts put a stop to her, but gets help from someone named SonicFan70. Who is this guy? Tails? Team Chaotix? Rouge? The answer will be revealed… after a concert from Sea5ons! Oh, the devil dog comes back and gives Weiss a heart attack but Yang, Whitley and Pit chew her out and the devil dog leaves after a change of heart apparently… oh, and Dimentio finds the devil dog and heads off to Adam's camp where they strike a deal, much to the Devil Dog's dismay!"
Hades smirked. "And now, ladies and gentleman… give it up for the reveal of SonicFan70! It's none other than… DR. IVO ROBOTNIK! Hmm, I wonder where the 70 came from?"
"Hahahaha… YOU FOOL! I have seventy ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!"
"Truly a mystery!" Hades smirked. "Thus, it brings us toooo…"
End BGM
The Burning of Rome
"So, the Phantom Thieves and the Investigation Team do some digging, recruit Yang and we FINALLY see Junior and the Malachite girls for the first time. Took them long enough! Anyway, they get some dirt on Roman, they go into Mementos, Yang roughs up Junior again… and, okay, fun fact here: We were this close to actually seeing Yang get herself a persona here. It was gonna be dragon like and she was going to kick some tail with her new Persona… alas, Nanny boy's friends thought it'd be too overkill for the sunny dragon, so they compromised and that's how we got Yang's Shin form! I have to say, love the new look! Anyway, they steal Roman's heart and beat the living snot out of him… and then they wait a few days until Roman's confession takes place. During this wait, RWBY and friends fight the Data versions of Organization XIII! …Well, technically, Weiss fights the actual Xion, but whatever! And yours truly fights Xehanort! …It does not go so well for me. Stupid universal reset nerfing me to the ground… at least Pyrrha's fight with Xehanort was a spectacle for everyone else!"
With a grumble, Hades continued. "Anywho, Eggboy makes his broadcast and tells the whole world about Salem while Futaba's feeling pretty guilty over this, Cindy gets ousted and we have ourselves a fight between Ruby and Cinder, the former kicks her butt and kicks Cinder out of the school grounds, Sea5ons and Ruby calm the world down, Summer and Qrow confront Ozzy boy and then rallies the whole school to train them up, then Cinder gets herself caught up with an angry Charizard who despises humans after having a rough childhood. Can't say I blame him! Oh, and she's bunking in Bowser's Castle! A few days later, Edelgard becomes the Summer Maiden, Mercury winds up in Emperor Bowser's crew against his will… and Bowser gets corrupted by Phazon. Which leads us toooooo…"
Super RWBY Galaxy 2: Galactic Conquest Prime
"…To where we are now! I believe this is part two of the Metroid arc, we all know what happened in this story but to summarize it up: Local space pirates make the cosmic queen royally pissed off and she blows up! Not only that, but Whitley gets himself a yandere going after him, Tron ends up getting de-rezzed and all the worlds end up getting hit with Phazon, including my Underworld. Rrrrgh… but wait, what's this I hear?"
WARNING! CHALLENGER APPROACHING!
"Nanny boy, please tell me you have Ibuki distracted because even I want her to be surprised!"
"Don't worry! She's playing Smash Ultimate with noise cancelling headphones!"
"WOOHOO! Take that, Ness player!"
"Good! Because we are going to dive right into it by being introduced to an old friend! Minions, make sure you distract Metal Head because she deserves to be surprised in the next Galaxy 2 chapter! …Oops, spoiler alert! Anyway, in this corner… we have the lady who got bored being an analyst and decided to go on a date with despair, give it up foooooor… Junko Enoshima!"
"Booooooo!"
"And in this corner… we have the Ultimate Gaming Queen who left this life too soon… give it up for… Chiaki Nanami!"
"I'm not going to let some big breasted bimbo take this opportunity away from me!"
"Look who's talking."
"Oho! You suddenly grew a pair!"
"You and I? We have a score to settle."
"Bitch, I wholeheartedly agree! How would you feel if you died a third time? I'm sure nobody will miss you!"
"It's time I make a comeback."
"Ladies and gentleman, good boys and girls of all ages, it's time for the ultimate cat fight!" Hades grinned.
BGM: NFL Theme
"LLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUUUMBLLLLLEEEEE!"
"And here we see the two gals going at it! Chiaki delivers a mighty swing with Soul Calibur, but ooooh, she loses Soul Calibur, but she still has the Hylian Shield! Oh, nope, she gets rid of that and starts to play Punch-Out! She delivers some nasty blows to Junko while she thinks she's a genderbent Mike Tyson! Or would this be considered Ronda Rousey? Oooh, Junko nicks Chiaki with her sword and bats her away with the Snake Stone! Chiaki recovers and becomes the Super Fighting Robot, Mega Girl! Or would that be Mega Woman? Anywho, Junko easily deflects her weapons but some Search Snakes sneak up on her and explode! What's this? It looks like Chiaki called in air support! The Galaga ship drops an airstrike filled with Purple Pikmin! Ooooh, that's gotta leave a mark! Junko does not take this lightly and eats a Pikmin out of defiance! But more air support comes in as Spyro the Dragon himself makes his grand debut in SRS by torching Junko!"
"Oh so you summoned an overrated dragon. I'm so scared!"
"I think he's more underrated but c'est la vie! Spyro blows her up and Chiaki comes in with the almighty Master Sword! She delivers several good swings and a Skyward Strike but Junko counters it all. Ooooh, but Chiaki brings out the RYNO 5! Nice recovery! Oooh, but what's this? She stops firing! Oh my, turns out that sword is covered in poison and Chiaki gets herself poisoned! What's a girl to do? Gasp! She tags in Scorpion and he beats the living hell out of her while she recovers! Ooooh, it looks like she's going plasma on her and she tags out Scorpion for the god who loves to consult the Elder Gods himself! Wait a minute folks, what's this? Ooooh, she has a Smash Ball! She crushes it! She uses her Final Smash and destroys Junko with Tetris Blocks! How's that for delicious poetic justice? Thus, Chiaki wins and- oh my goodness! Junko ambushes her with a sword through the gut! Ooooh, the humanity of it all! This could spell trouble for Chiaki and humanity as we know it… but wait, Cerberus comes in and stops Junko from brutally murdering Chiaki for the third time and not only heals up Chiaki, but he drops Junko in the River Lethe! We have a winner folks!"
End BGM
Chiaki Nanami wins!
Friendship! …Friendship… again?
"Wonder how everyone'll take that. But anywho, Chiaki is alive and well and she's hurrying to the Comet Observatory… well, until she got sidetracked with Breath of the Wild. Gotta catch up on those games, after all. However, a beacon of light courtesy of a supernova catches her attention and she's off! That concludes this recap! However, there are several questions remain! Will Chiaki make it to her friends in time? Is that Christmas Gaiden considered canon in the first place? Will Edelgard confide to her friends that she's the Summer Maiden? Will Marnie confess her feelings to the Scottish girl? Will we see a rematch between Bowser and Junko? Will yours truly sneak into Chiaki's Switch, put in Doki Doki Literature Club and hear her despair over Sayori, then watch her freak out over Monika? And are Dark Samus and Ridley still alive?"
Hades smirked. "Well, actually… we have footage of that! Roll the clip!"
Rosalina threw the bomb onto the ground, lighting the fuse as she made two black holes to hold Ridley and Dark Samus in place, and then she kicked the bomb toward the two, unaware of Dark Samus quickly making a dark portal for herself and dropping in, and then making another for Ridley as she tried to pull him out… right as the bomb let out a supernova-like explosion.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Dark Samus cried as she was thrown into the ship along with a severely wrecked and badly burned Ridley. Dark Samus herself was fading fast and was translucent, showing her skeleton. "Hah… hah… PHAZON! NOW! GET ALL THE CYBERNETICS ONTO RIDLEY!"
"You want him to become Meta Ridley again for the time being?"
"DID I STUTTER?!"
"No ma'am!" A Space Pirate saluted as several Space Pirates picked up the smoldering Ridley and took off to repair him while Dark Samus absorbed a lot of Phazon to get her back to normal. She then punched the wall in frustration, gritting her teeth angrily.
"DAMN THAT BITCH!" She screamed.
"There you have it, folks! Their final boss protection is still in effect! Until then, this concludes the recap! This is Hades signing off!"
He would then walk off and brought Lisa Lavender back in. "Here ya go!" He said and walked off.
"Oh… uh… thank you?"
*eye twitching*
Ibuki: *takes off her noise cancelling headphones* So... remind Ibuki why you had Hades do the recap?
I had Palutena do this, but he threw her into a closet, locked it up and put in a few Ornes as bodyguards.
Ibuki: She wondered what the thumping was about...
Oh, and a major shout out to Log for coming up with this Gaiden idea!