Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
Three Days After the Phazon War
"Hmhmhmhm~" Ruby hummed as she walked around Toad Town with a hum… and then suddenly a dark portal opened up underneath her. "…What the-" It pulled her in. "AAAAAAAH!"
Mario wandered around Mushroom Hills, collecting some coins, hitting a ? Block… and then a dark portal opened up underneath him. "Huh?" He wondered as he was dragged in. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Marnie walked out of her apartment, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she went to collect the mail. She would look up to see her next door neighbor, who happened to be Crocomire, pick up the newspaper. "Morning Crocomire…" Marnie let out a yawn as Crocomire let out a roar as she turned around and opened the door… and saw a portal in front of her. "Huh?" Suddenly, she was grabbed and pulled in. "AAAH!"
Sonia hummed as she made some tea… only for a portal to suck her in from below. "Yaaaagh!"
"WAAAAAAAH!" Daisy yelped as she was dragged from underneath her own castle.
In Hyrule, Zelda, Terrako and Impa were outside in the courtyard, watching Link train… and then portals from underneath all four appeared underneath them and were dragged under with Zelda screaming on the way down.
In Atlas, Esdeath and Ironwood were having morning drills… and portals would drag them and the Winter Ops underneath, leaving the Ace Ops by themselves.
In the Observatory…
"…We're missing one." Hades said as he opened up a portal and then Amelia Gadd was pulled in. "There we go. Everyone who was involved in the Blorb crisis has been accounted for!"
"Personally, Ibuki would've just sent everyone a text…" Ibuki rubbed her head.
"Nah, that would've taken too long." Hades smirked.
"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!" Donald yelled angrily.
"Yeah, why the hell did you drag us out to the Observatory?!" Yang demanded.
"Ibuki suggested a movie theater but Hades thought otherwise." She rolled her eyes.
"Rosie wouldn't mind!" Hades chuckled. "Besides, not like she's using it at the moment."
"So what, you thought it would be best to kidnap us!" Bowser snarled. "That's MY schtick, pal!"
"Now I know how Peach feels…" Toon Link mumbled. "...No offense."
"None taken." Peach giggled.
"Explain yourself. Why did you feel the need to drag us here?" Ganondorf demanded, his arms folded.
"Well, the Phazon War is still fresh on everyone's mind so we thought it'd be best for the ones who were involved in the Blorbs incident to get their minds off things." Hades said.
"By kidnapping us?" Mythra and Aoi both deadpanned.
"Well… yes, but actually no." Hades chuckled. "I'm sure all of you are familiar with a good friend that you all met in that incident."
"You know how little that narrows it down!" Roy grumbled.
"Okay. His name starts with Dam and ends with "idiot"." Hades said.
"Damn Idiot?" Ironwood asked.
"Damidiot…" Captain Goomba mumbled. "Doesn't ring any bells."
"Could you be any more specific?" Sora asked.
"Another hint! Dam plus Ian."
"Dam plus ian…" Marnie said aloud. "That would-" She let out a gasp, freezing on the spot.
"Oh shit." Sonia said, readying her rapier while pulling Marnie into a comforting side hug. "That idiot's back from the dead?"
"…Who?" Cinder tilted her head.
"He's the guy who cut off Marnie's eyes and arm." Piers said.
Cinder turned her head to look at Marnie. "And… who cut off her arm and eyes again?"
"Damian."
"…Who?" Cinder repeated.
"Don't worry, he's still dead!" Hades said. "That said, he's died so many times trying to revive his conquest in this world that Ibuki and I filmed it all and put it as a montage!"
"Wait, that idiot tried to come back… again?" Sora raised an eyebrow.
"And you didn't even tell us?" Junior asked.
"Everyone was so focused on the war, we didn't think it was time yet." Ibuki said. "That and… Chiaki-chan came back and Ibuki wanted to hang out with her." She chuckled.
"You put up a montage?" Kyoko raised an eyebrow in amusement before the amusement left her eyes. "Wait, this wouldn't be a death montage, would it?"
"Got it in one, sherlock!" Hades said.
Kyoko rolled her eyes. "That's no different than the executions that me and my classmates were forced to watch for the sake of making us fall into despair." She said as she got up. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I've got better things to do." She said as she hopped off the Observatory and walked away. "That said, I do hope everyone else gets some schadenfreude out of this."
"Spoil sport." Hades said.
"Eeeeh, she's not wrong… but hey, it's Damian. We all need to laugh at this idiot." Ibuki chuckled.
"Mmm… she has a point…" Aoi folded her arms. "Do I stay or do I go…"
"We have doughnuts." Hades spoke up, pointing to a table filled to the brim with boxes filled with doughnuts, and another table had hot chocolate.
"Staying~!" Aoi chirped happily.
Marnie took a deep breath, exhaling deeply. "Alright… this should be highly cathartic."
"And now… we begin the montage!" Hades said, pressing the play button.
Ibuki Mioda and Hades, the Charming God of the Underworld Presents:
Damian's Death Montage in No Particular Order!
#1
Damian crawled out of the ground. "Those fools thought they could get rid of me! Well, too bad! I'm going to-" An alarm started to blare. "Hmm?" He wondered as he would spot a sign. "Haru's… Testing grounds?" He wondered as he would see a lot of sticky bombs scattered across the ground. "What the devil are all the-"
BOOOOOOOOOM!
BGM: Going Somewhere - Mario Party 2 (Mario Party Superstars)
"Uh… Haru? I think you just actually blew someone up." Makoto said.
"Eh, it's fiiiiine. I'm sure it was no big deal."
#2
Damian crawled out of the ground again. "Now where am I?" He wondered, seeing someone in front of him as he would proceed to rip off the head.
"Fire at will!"
"Hmm?" He wondered, only to get shot in the head by a sniper shot.
"Oooooh!" One of the Atlesian soldiers grimaced as another one hissed.
"That'll hurt…"
#3
Damian would crawl out of the ground… or at least, he tried but his head got stuck in the ground. "Mmmph! Rrrgh! Why can't I-" He would hear the sound of a mower as he turned his head to see a Toad mowing his lawn, whistling and wasn't paying attention to where he was going. "Halt! I order you to halt! Stop that machine at once! STOP THAT-"
The lawnmower ran him over as the Toad kept whistling until he felt something splatter all over him. "Huh?" He looked down, seeing red all over him. "Ew! Did I mow over a watermelon or something?"
#4
Damian crawled out of some sand in Dry Dry Desert… only problem was, he crawled out of quicksand, which would quickly pull him back in. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
#5
Damian popped out of the side of the road. "Finally. Now to officially begin my conquest and-" He walked onto the road… only to get ran over by a semi truck.
"Ugh! These speed bumps get worse every time!" The truck driver complained.
#6
Damian walked out of the forest, finding a lake. "Hmm, I suppose I can begin my conquest here." He said as he heard a roar as Rayquaza came out of the lake and glared at him. "Out of that lake, you dull creature! This is my lake now and you will bow down-"
Rayquaza didn't let him finish as he incinerated him with a Hyper Beam.
#7
"Hmm…" Rotty ate Damian's brain as her fellow zombies all killed the poor bastard. "Ugh… this is the worst brain I've ever tasted!" She complained as she tossed it behind her.
#8
Damian crawled out of the ground. "Now then, my conquest will begin! I, Damian, the demon lord, will soon destroy this world for the Dark-"
He heard the sound of a chainsaw revving up as he turned to see Doom Guy revving his chainsaw up with malicious intent. "Hmph! You think you can kill me with that measly gardening tool? Do your worst!" He demanded… and then Doom Guy switched to his Crucible and started to cut him to pieces… and then finished him off with the chainsaw.
#9
Damian walked through a mountain that was filled with Chain Chomps. "Attention miserable creatures!" He said as the Chain Chomps woke up from their nap. "You are now property of the Dark One. You will serve under him and he will feed you we-"
The Chain Chomps all ganged up on him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Didn't help that they were also hungry.
#10
Damian ran toward the exit of the Underworld. "Freedom at last!" He exclaimed as Hades would notice his escape.
"Aaaand to that universe you go!" He said, snapping his fingers with a smirk as Damian would leave the Underworld and then crawled out of the ground, finding him in some kind of forest.
Pause BGM
"Where am I…?" He wondered.
"I told you-" A voice spoke up as Damian would turn to the source of the voice. "You'd die for that."
It turns out it was Thor… who shoved Stormbreaker into Thanos's chest. "AAAAAAAAAAH!" Thanos yelled in agony.
"Duuuuude, he looks hot." Nora said, munching on a doughnut.
Note to self, grow a beard. Ren thought.
"Maybe I should help him." Damian mused.
"You… you should have…" Thanos smirked. "You should have gone for the HEAD." He said as he snapped his fingers.
"NO!"
Damian folded his arms. "Snapped his fingers and then what?"
"What did you do… WHAT'D YOU DO?!" Thor demanded, but Thanos would soon disappear in a portal via the Space Stone, dropping Stormbreaker.
"Tactical retreat. Fitting." He said as he would look down and saw himself start to disintegrate. "Rrrgh… what?! Why do I not feel so good! Aaaargh!" He growled as he disappeared.
"Where'd he go? …Thor?"
Five years later…
Due to Hulk's snap of the fingers, Damian returned. "Wah! What?! Where am I? Am I back?!" He asked as he looked around to get his bearings straight as he saw portals opening up. "Hmm?"
"AVENGERS!"
Damian would walk out of a portal in curiosity, watching Captain America catch Mjolnir. "…Assemble."
"RAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Damian would watch everyone charge at Thanos and his army. "Hmm, that purple guy could use some assistance. I will join the slaughter!" He said as he would jump in as soon as the two armies clashed, then he would go around and start slaughtering left and right… until he met Thor.
"Your head will be perfect for the Dark One, Mr. Electric!"
"…That's a new one." Thor said as the two would swing their weapons, both of them clashing… until Thor would strike him with lightning bolts to stun Damian, then he disarmed him and then with a swing of Stormbreaker, he bisected Damian and cut his head off for good measure.
"Now, where was I? Oh right!"
Resume BGM
#11
"I need your horseless carriage, you imbecile!" Damian pulled a Koopa out of his car. "You should be lucky your head is still attached to your neck." He said as he would try to move the car but it didn't work out. "Huh?" He wondered as he tried to get it to start. He would start to hear a train whistle as he turned his head to see a train coming by.
"What is that?" He wondered as his eyes started to widen, quickly trying to get the car to move but it wouldn't work out. He let out a whimper as he put his seatbelt on… right as the train barreled through and made the car explode.
"Yeah, hijack the car that stalled on the tracks. WONDERFUL idea!" The Koopa rolled his eyes.
#12
Damian emerged in a snowy area. "Please be a safe area, please be a safe area…" He hoped… only to get ran over by a sleigh.
"Oooh, did I hit someone's grandmother again?" Santa wondered.
#13
Damian walked into a cave. "I'm sure this'll be fine."
"Teddi?"
Damian looked down at a Teddiursa curiously looking at him. "Don't look at me like that, you idiot!" He said, slapping it down as the Teddiursa started crying… and then he heard a roar as he looked up to see a mama Ursaring running toward him.
"A worthy opponent! Do your worst!"
Unfortunately for him, the mama bear was unsurprisingly stronger than he thought, not to mention she sliced him to bits.
#14
Damian wandered around a forest as he spotted a baby Rathalos curiously flying over. "Buzz off." He said, smacking him into a tree as the Rathalos started to cry… and then he heard roaring as he turned to see an angry Rathalos and Rathian charging at him. "Oh shi-" They burned him alive. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
#15
With a snap of a fingers from Hades, Damian would wind up on an island. "Hmm… where am I?" He wondered as he wandered around, only to feel the ground vibrating underneath him. A few trees crashed on the ground as he would see the culprit.
A T-Rex… or at least, that's what it looked like, given it's unnatural raptor-like shape and white color. It was none other than the Indominus Rex herself. "Well, you look feisty." He said as she roared at him. "A challenge, is it! Very well… I accept your duel!" He said as he lunged at the Indominus with a loud war cry as she would lunge at him.
Predictably, the Indominus had herself a meal.
#16
"Heard you wanted vengeance!" Snatcher spoke up, popping up next to Damian. "Here's a contract that will make you kill all of your enemies instantly."
"Deal." Damian eagerly signed the contract. "Hnnngh!" He grunted, suddenly clutching his chest as he fell flat on his face and died instantly.
"Wait, this wasn't a "kill your enemies" contract. This was "give yourself a heart attack" contract. Whoops~!" He shrugged. "Anyway, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"
#17
Damian walked over a nest, not seeing where he was going.
Crack!
Damian looked down to see that he stepped on a Wyvern egg, and then he heard a snarl as he turned to see a Nargacuga growling angrily at him. "Oh come o-" The Panther Wyvern would quickly maul him and tear him into pieces. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Ibuki would turn her head while the montage was going on, seeing everyone giggling, laughing or nodding their heads in approval while the occasional "What an idiot" was said. Captain Slime simply shook his head with a "How the mighty had fallen" mumbled under his breath. She would turn her head to see Marnie who was giggling at Damian's misfortune, which was enough to warm the metal head's heart. Knew this would brighten her day! She thought.
Pause BGM
#18
Sonia walked around with a hum, and then noticed the ground starting to bulge. "Hmm?" She wondered as Damian burst out and he would see Sonia.
"YOU!"
"Damian?" Sonia blinked in surprise as Damian readied his sword.
"I still remember that humiliation you gave me at one of our encounters!" He growled. "Your mindgames will not work on me THIS time!"
"Alright… let's see how much you've learned." Sonia readied her rapier, pointing it at Damian with a confident smirk.
Damian lunged at Sonia, who swiftly jumped back as she would soon disappear into a forest. Damian chased after her and then imapled a tree that she hid behind. However, Sonia had climbed up another tree in front of it to distract him. Sonia pulled out a Magnum and started to shoot him from above.
Damian turned around and snarled, throwing down Kafrizzles from above but Sonia would be quick on her feet and then landed on the ground, disappearing into the darkness. Damian growled, finding himself surrounded in the darkness. "Show yourself!" He demanded as Sonia would flank him and stabbed him in the side of the gut and then jumped back into the darkness.
"Fool!" Damian chased after her and swung his sword, but he hit only a tree. Sonia appeared behind him and slashed him again, then disappeared as Damian continued to counter but he would hit nothing where Sonia would stab him at every opportunity in the shadows.
At one point, Sonia rushed at him as Damian turned to her and swung his weapon down, but Sonia jumped to the side and delivered a strong uppercut to his chin, making him backflip as he landed on his back as Sonia disappeared into the darkness.
Soon, paranoia would take over Damian as he would quickly try to get out of there, but since he was deep in the forest, he was going around in circles. It didn't help that Sonia would add in some creepy laughter that echoed through the forest, fueling his paranoia. "COME OUT AND FACE ME LIKE A HUMAN!"
"Face you like a decent person? After what you did to Marnie? Please… you're not worth the trouble!" She would said as Damian would throw a Kacrackle Slash to cut down a few trees, but he would miss Sonia. Her giggles echoed throughout the forest as Damian would look absolutely afraid at this point. He's bleeding all over, he feels woozy… and he's fighting a losing battle. He had to get out of there… but he was lost.
Sonia silently landed behind him as she readied her rapier, smirking. Before Damian could turn around, Sonia would impale him through the gut and kicked him down, pressing him down with one foot as she pulled out her rocket launcher, aiming it point blank at him. "Strike first. Strike Hard." She said, pulling the trigger.
"Oh, that's right! I forgot I fought him again." Sonia pounded her fist into her palm.
"That was beautiful." Aoi giggled, munching on a doughnut.
"Mhm! Though I will say, that wasn't my true Mori. The Mori I used in the Fog was much more elegant. He was not worthy to receive it."
Resume BGM
#19
Damian emerged from the ground. "Finally! Now it's time for-… wait, where am I? This isn't the Mushroom Kingdom." He said.
Ten seconds to detonation.
Damian turned his head to see Mother Brain about to explode as he looked up to see all the ships flying away as he would look back down at the ground. "…Oh, son of a-"
K2L exploded, and took Damian with him.
#20
Damian emerged on a platform. "Now where the devil am I this time?" He wondered as he looked around, unaware that nearby, Umber activated his Z-Ring and did his dance as Veron flew up in the air and used Sinister Arrow Raid on the Phaze Chimera… with two arrows flying out of range as they would strike Damian in the chest and pushed him off the platform.
"RRGH!" He grunted as he would fall into the planet's goop. "AAAAH Blub blub blub…"
"He was there? Huh, didn't even notice." Umber shrugged with a chuckle.
#21
Damian wandered into Bowser's Castle. "Perhaps I can get my revenge on the Koopa King." He smirked as he walked in, only for a small Thwomp to come crashing down on him.
"OOMPH!"
"ARGH!" Damian grunted as the Thwomp rose up from the ground. He slowly got back up, groaning in pain as his pride was also shattered. He took a few steps…
…Aaaand a bigger Thwomp came crashing down. "OOOOMPH!"
#22
"AAAAAAAAAAAH! LET GO OF ME, YOU IDIOT!" Damian yelled as Bewear was hugging him… until his spine shattered as he fell limp.
"Wear…?" Bewear wondered, dropping him to the ground and poking him with a stick. He shrugged it off shortly after and walked off.
#23
"You know what, to the past with you!" Hades snapped his fingers.
"Wait, what?" Damian wondered as he ended up in the past, winding up in Good Egg Galaxy. "Mmph, okay, where or when am I now?" He wondered as suddenly, space started to distort around him. "What the- aaaagh! Why do I feel like I'm being ripped apart!" He complained as the whole universe imploded on itself and took him with it.
Pause BGM
#24
Damian would emerge in front of a cabinet. "Hmm… ah, I wonder if I can find some use in this cabinet." He said as he opened it up. "…Wait, why are there so many swear jars? And furniture? Is this some kind of dimension?" He wondered, unaware of a dark skinned woman slamming a chair into his head. "ARGH!" He growled as he fell over.
BGM: Hard in Da Paint [Clean Version] (Waka Flocka Flame)
"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!" She yelled, rolling up her sleeves and started to beat him up.
"OW! AAAAGH! OW! OOOOW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
WASTED
End BGM
Resume Going Somewhere BGM
#25
"Foolish mortal! You may be a worthy adversary, but this is where it ends for you!"
"You're starting to bore me." Cloud said as he raised his hand up in the air and summoned the Knights of the Round, who would proceed to slash him to pieces as he screaming in agony until there was nothing left. "Good riddance."
#26
Damian walked outside of a forest. "Okay, this better be somewhere I can be free from all the death." He said.
"PIKACHU, USE THUNDERBOLT!"
"Huh? Thunderbolt?" He wondered as he was unwittingly hit by a Thunderbolt. "AAAAAARGH!" He yelled as he was launched high into the air… and disintegrated on the spot.
Interestingly enough, he wasn't the only one flying through the air.
"I knew we wouldn't get more than one cameo…" Jessie groaned.
"At least it was a Thunderbolt this time." James pointed out.
"Speak for yerselves, at least we're lookin' better than that guy!" Meowth said, referring to what had remained of Damian.
"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAIN!"
"WOOOOOBBUFFET!"
Ding!
End BGM
End Montage
"That was ultimately pathetic for him." Sephiroth said.
"Tell me about it." Link agreed.
"Well, at least we were entertained." Ruby giggled.
"Indeed. That was rather hilarious." Weiss said as everyone agreed.
"I happen to find my death montage very inappropriate!" A voice said as they would all turn to see Damian with his arms folded in disgust.
Umber, Junior, Piers, Team Yell and Sonia would quickly guard and surround Marnie with glares in their eyes as everyone got ready to fight him. "For that, you will pay for such insolen-"
"BOOM!"
Hades would clap his hands onto Damian, squishing him like a bug. "Stupid flies on the wall." He said, shaking the blood off of his hands. "So! Who's up for a round of golf?"
This was all Yoshi's idea. *chuckles* We all went full hog on this because it's always Pick on Damian day.
Ibuki: Mhm! Oh, by the way, duck.
Huh? WHOA! *ducks, a chainsaw comes barreling through and slices up Damian nearby*
Ibuki: You're welcome~!
*turns head* Thanks Flash!
Flash: FROM DOWNTOWNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Third one today!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the montage!