Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
While Seryu Is Recovering From Surgery
Training Gym - Two Hours Til Death
"Final question: You have a dinner date for seven. What time do you arrive?"
"Seven. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later than 4:30."
Chiaki snickered. "That's… convoluted."
"…You're ready."
"Really?"
"No. Everything you just said was insane… and, we are out of time. Congratulations, you're a failure."
"Oh-" Scout got up, taking the small desk with him, which was enough to make Chiaki giggle. He sat down and moved away, then got back up. "I failed, did I?"
"Yes."
"Did I?"
"Yes."
"Did I?"
"Scout, where is this going?"
"Where it's going is, I don't need you! I can put this date on myself!"
"…Yourself?"
"That's right, fancy pants, myself!"
Chiaki would see Spy trying hard not to laugh in Scout's face. "Dude, he's making fun of you…"
"So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways and-" Spy tapped his death watch. "Okay, crap, I gotta go." He downed his drink and walked off. "Screw you though!"
Scout would then press the briefcase alarm while Chiaki shook her head with a giggle. "Oooh, this is going to end up poorly… I love it." She said.
Medic's Lab - One Hour 'Til Death
"Y'all ready?"
"Ready!"
Engi grabbed a bad loaf of bread and sniffed it. He let out a groan and put it into the teleporter, ending up where Medic was. "Wait… are those maggots coming out of the bread?" Chiaki wondered. "…It's moving."
Suddenly, the bread turned around and roared, latching onto Medic as the latter started screaming. "Ah hell!" Engi grimaced as he went to Medic.
"…It turned into a little bread monster. Pffft, nice." Chiaki giggled as she then watched Pauling drive into the base.
Red Base - Forty Minutes 'Til Death
"Okay, you're ready… alright… hoo!" Pauling readied her shotgun, pumping it and opened the door… to shove the shotgun into Scout's chest.
"Miss Pauling… what an unexpected surprise!"
"PFFFFT! That's what you're wearing?!" Chiaki laughed. "Oh my gosh… you are a dork…"
"They took the briefcase… don't worry, we can fix this." Pauling moved past Scout. "We'll get it back… and the Administrator will never have to know."
"You look… you look… uh…"
"Drunk!" Demoman suddenly blurted out.
"Round… soft! No, round!"
"Blurry!"
"Beautiful?" Chiaki threw out.
"…Ravishing!"
"Uh-huh, you too."
"Okay, that works too." Chiaki snickered, hearing Spy letting out an impressed "Hmm!"
"…Hold on, that's the briefcase right there… Scout, you-… are you having a prom?"
"Pffft!" Chiaki giggled.
"Y-yeah… uh… yeah, well, the thing is…"
"Guys!" Engi opened the door to the trio that was watching behind the camera. "Hey fellas, listen! It's just bread that gets tumors!"
"Not even tumors! It's some sort of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. Here, watch this." He shook the jar, which was enough to piss off the little bread monster. "Oh look, it hates me so much!" He chuckled, while Soldier laughed as Engi walked over and wrapped his arms around Medic and Soldier's shoulders.
"So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any bread."
"Question!"
"What's your question, Soldier?"
"I teleported bread."
"…Oh no." Chiaki already had a smile forming.
"…What?"
"You told me to."
"How much…"
"I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days!"
"WHERE?!" Medic threw the jar down and grabbed Soldier by the collar. "Where have you been sending it?!"
The video paused while Chiaki laughed uncontrollably to the point where tears ran down her cheeks. It only took a few minutes for her to compose herself. "Oh… goodness, I didn't think that'd get me so good…"
"Scout… I get one day off a year… and you just wasted it on THIS. Goodbye."
"Wait wait wait! Ah… why don't we discuss this over dinner?" He opened the door… to reveal a gigantic bread monster.
"What the hell is that?!"
"Soldier's experiment." Chiaki giggled.
A few minutes of chaos later…
"Wait, nah. We can't. I'm gonna be dead."
"Wait, what?"
"Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!"
"I didn't say zhat! I just said we're not filled with tumors!"
"Oh thank god… so yeah, Miss Pauling, I guess it's a date!"
"Actually, this was my only day off this year…"
"Oh."
"Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs!"
"This'll go well…" Chiaki giggled.
"Tomorrow, I'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses."
"Ah, no!"
"Oh, you can help me yank the molars out of a box of heads!"
"No to that."
"Well, on Friday… I have to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button and… oh. You're already going to be at that one."
"Aaaah…" Chiaki sighed happily. "That was a good one." She giggled. "Teleporting bread turns bread into monsters. That's good… to… know…" The gears in her head started to turn. "Hmm… would it be possible…?" She wondered. "I mean, it happens in the TF2-verse, who's to say it can't happen here?"
Chiaki folded her arms. "Hmm… I'm gonna run this by Ibuki."
Meanwhile…
Ganondorf was knocked back a few feet from Wario. "Wahahaha! I'mma gonna win!" Wario mocked as an Assist Trophy appeared on the battlefield. Unfortunately, it landed behind Ganondorf.
"Hmph!" Ganondorf grabbed a hold of the Assist Trophy. "I summon you!" He said as Ibuki popped out of the trophy.
"Alright, rock and roll!" Ibuki strummed her guitar as Ganondorf felt himself powered up.
"Hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHA! Perfect!" Ganondorf smirked.
"…Aw crap, she powered up a villain!" Ibuki grimaced as Ganondorf ran ahead and tackled Wario. The latter shielded, but due to the power boost, it completely shattered his shield.
"D'oh! Oooogh…" Wario groaned as Ganondorf smirked, turning around and went for a reverse Warlock Punch. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled, flying out of bounds.
"Game! Ganondorf… wins!"
Ganondorf let out a hearty laugh, walking out with a proud smirk. "That was a wonderful match."
"Only because she unwittingly let you win…" Ibuki mumbled as Ganondorf patted her on the back and walked off, then Wario walked out rubbing his head. "Hey uh, Wario-chan… no hard feelings?"
Wario let out a grumble as he walked away.
"…She'll take that as a yes." She said.
"Hey Ibuki!"
"Hmm? Oh hey Chiaki-chan! What's up?" Ibuki asked.
"Oh, just the usual with me. Watching Team Fortress 2 animations. How about you?"
"Ibuki powered up Ganondorf."
"Oh…" Chiaki grimaced.
"Yeeeeeah, Ibuki's not thrilled… hmm? What's with that look in your eyes?"
"So, do the words "Expiration Date" ring a bell?"
"Expiration Date? With both words being capitalized, that could mean one thing. You finally watched it!"
"Mhm!"
"Alright! So what's going on in that brain of yours?"
"So, you know how when you teleport bread, it grows tumors or… whatever Medic said… beauty mark that metasta… whatever?"
"Uh-huh…"
"And it turns into a monster?"
"Yeeeeah?"
"Do you think we could replicate that?"
"Whoa whoa whoa, time out, girlfriend! You're suggesting we recreate a bread monster by teleporting it?"
"I'm curious! If it works in the world of TF2, it could possibly work here, right?"
Ibuki rubbed her chin in thought. "…And just like that, Ibuki's day just got packed~!" She grinned.
"What are you guys going on about?" Nora asked as she walked by.
"We're gonna teleport bread just to see if it can turn into a monster!" Chiaki smiled.
"…Teleporting bread… just to see if it can turn into some kind of monster?" Nora asked. "That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. I want in!"
"We're just gonna need a lot of bread." Ibuki said.
"To the bakery!" Chiaki exclaimed as the three of them took off.
At Toad Town's bakery…
"My goodness, this is a lot of bread you're ordering!" Foccacia said.
"Yuuuup! We're doing something for science!" Ibuki smiled.
Foccacia sweatdropped. "I see… well, have fun then." She said as they paid for it as they took off.
"Who was that?" Kokoro wondered as she came downstairs with a yawn.
"Bread scientists…"
"Huh?" Kokoro tilted her head.
As the trio walked away with several loaves of bread in bags, they walked by the red and blue base. "Hellooooo!" Caboose waved. "What ya doing?"
"Turning bread into monsters!" Nora told him.
"Monster bread! Oh boy!" Caboose exclaimed as he hopped down. "I'm coming with ya!"
"Caboose, where are you going?" Tucker asked.
"Going to make monster bread!"
"…Monster bread…? Okay, this I gotta see." Tucker hopped off.
"Monster bread? You gotta be kidding me… I gotta look into this." Epsilon said as he walked off.
"The Blues are making monster bread?" Sarge asked. "…Unacceptable! We gotta make ours larger than their's!"
"Sir, if I may… making a bread monster is highly unlikely and-"
"Zip it, Simmons! We're going to see what we can do!" Sarge said.
"This is gonna be a trainwreck and I'm all for it." Grif responded.
"Woo! Party!" Donut exclaimed.
"Esto va a terminar mal..." (This is going to end poorly…)
Once at the Smash Mansion…
"What the peck are you guys doing?" Hat Kid asked once she saw them put the bags down.
"An experiment!" Chiaki said.
"With bread?" Hat Kid raised an eyebrow.
"Going to make bread monsters!" Ibuki said.
"…That's dumb. I want in!" Hat Kid grinned. "…Hang on, I'll grab Conductor!" She took off.
"What are you guys doing?" Ruby asked as she walked up with Pit.
"Making bread monsters!" Caboose said.
"…That's ridiculous." Pit said.
"We want in!" Ruby added with Pit nodding. "…Actually, hang on a second." She called up a few people. "Hey, we're gonna do something ridiculous. You guys want in? Great!"
"Who'd you call up?" Chiaki asked.
"The Mario Bros… and Peach and Daisy. I would call up Rosie but she's on a date with dad soooo… yeah, don't wanna disturb 'em." Ruby got another idea and texted someone. "I just realized she'd probably want in on this too."
That's stupid, lass! I'll be right over.
"Gloria's coming!" Ruby smiled.
I'll bring Marn over too.
"Aaand Marnie."
"Oh, this is going to be so fun!" Ibuki smiled.
"Yup!" Chiaki smiled.
"Ahahahaha… I see you fellas are having a fun time!" A voice said as they turned to see Dimentio. "Making monsters out of bread? That sounds ridiculous, yet intriguing. Got room for one more?" He asked, and was met with weapons aiming at him. "What do you know, I predicted this would happen. But let me assure you, I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm off the clock for today."
"So you want in too?" Chiaki asked, her arms folded as she aimed a Battle Rifle at him.
"Yes. How about we have a temporary truce for now? I'm legitimately curious to see where we can go with this "bread turning into a monster by teleporting" experiment." Dimentio said.
"Mmm… okay, but we're keeping an eye on you…" Nora glared.
"Sounds goo-"
BANG!
"Ooof!" Dimentio held on to his shoulder. "Ruby!"
"Whoops, finger slipped." Ruby glared.
"Ahahahaha… I figured you would have done that." He said as he heard footsteps where he saw the Mario gang, Gloria and Marnie walking. "Ah, hello there! Glad you could join-" He was pelted by fire, turnips, electricity, crystals, Falinks and blaster shots. He was left a smoldering mess a few seconds later. "…I take it you're not the trusting types."
"Can you blame us!" Daisy glared.
"Okay! Why is that peckneck here?" Hat Kid asked as she and Conductor walked up.
"Long story." Ibuki shook her head.
"Aye, this seems like a temporary truce… that said, if the peckneck tries anything funny, I'm gonna strap a bomb on his wee head and then have Gloria press the detonator!" Conductor growled.
"I dunnae about that… how about together?" Gloria smirked.
"Aye, that'll do!"
"Soooo, how are we doing this?" Marnie asked.
"Just leave it to me." Chiaki smiled, going into an Engineer outfit.
Later…
BGM: Argue For and Against (Touhou 10.5: Scarlet Weather Rhapsody)
"Alright, so I set up a few teleporters. One is located near Toad Town, another is in Castle Dedede, one's in Skyworld, one's in Galar, one is near the Hope Sisters' home and another is in the Red and Blue base." Chiaki said. "This might work, it might not… but curiosity's got the better of me here."
"Better to be curious than not to be." Dimentio said.
"For science!" Ibuki exclaimed.
"Okay, so what kind of bread did you guys get?" Mario asked.
"We got white, grain, rye, whole wheat, lemon and chocolate marble cake." Nora responded.
"Lemon?" Peach sweatdropped.
"What? It's really good!" Daisy pointed out.
"Yes… but… I've heard recently that a certain someone made combustible lemons…"
Daisy paled. "…Oh shit, he did it?"
"Yes."
"Okay! Let's not give him ideas for Combustible Lemon Cake!"
"Let's put these bad boys in." Ruby said as they put the bread in the teleporters as they had teleported away, then Dimentio warped away.
Chiaki brought out a walkie talkie. "Any luck?" She called out to them.
Toad Town
"The white bread is here, but it's not doing anything. Actually, it's a little toasty." Dimentio said.
Castle Dedede
"The grain's not doing anything. Though I believe it expired." Meta Knight said.
Skyworld
"Uh… would the rye bread containing wings count as "monstrous"?" Palutena wondered.
Red and Blue base
"It turned… red and blue. Would that count for something?" Washington asked.
Hope Sister's Home
"You guys sent us Lemon Cake, right?" Junko asked, as Mukuro poked some lemons.
Sonia's lab
"So uh… did you guys know that chocolate marble cake can melt?" Sonia asked as her Yamper walked over to investigate the chocolatey mess. "Honey, get away from that!"
Back at the Smash Mansion…
"Okay so…" Nora wrote down on a white board.
White Bread - Toast
Grain - Expired
Rye - Winged Bread
Whole Grain - Left side - Red. Right side - Blue
Lemon Cake - Actual lemons
Chocolate Marble Cake - Melted
"None of this is giving us the monster we were hoping for. Sure, we invented winged bread and red and blue bread but I'm guessing this is a failure." Nora said.
"Speak for yourself. This toast is really good!" Dimentio said, having applied butter and jam as he had given some to Ruby, Hat Kid, Mario, and Marnie.
"We gathered all the lemons just in case that Cave guy doesn't try anything." Mukuro said.
"Hmm…" Gloria wondered. "Chiaki, where did you get this idea anyway? Maybe we can figure out the source."
"Oh! Sure." Chiaki took off running, and then came back with her laptop. "Alright, let me just get to the time here…"
End BGM
"Yeah, uh, listen… we've been running some experiments on the teleporter and… y'all oughta take a look at this." Engi said, teleporting some bread after he pressed a button.
"Wow… you can teleport bread, that is big news…" Scout said unenthusiastically as Medic took it. "Uh, is the Demo back with the beer yet because I-" Medic broke the bread in half. "AUGH! What the hell is that?!"
"Tumors!"
"Ew!" Ruby, Nora, Sonia, Gloria, Marnie and Hat Kid said in unison while Junko took one look at the piece of toast that she was given as she tossed it behind her.
"…I think I'm gonna lay off bread for a while." Luigi groaned.
"Ditto." Daisy agreed.
"Y'all know what this means right?"
"Argh!" Soldier slammed Scout onto the table. "We cannot teleport bread anymore!"
"Fast forward a bit." Sonia requested. "I can't stand to look at it anymore."
"Sure." Chiaki nodded as she fast forwarded.
"This… is a bucket."
"Dear god…"
"There's more."
"No!"
"Fast forward!" Nora requested.
"You? You're terrible with girls!"
"What? No… no! No, Spy, lo-look at this! And this, and this here… Spy, look at all of this! No, I am great with girls."
"We both got buckets of chicken. You wanna do it?"
"Eh, okay."
Note to self, pick up chicks with this line. Tucker thought.
Mukuro already loaded up her gun. "I've every reason to kill this man now."
"Whooooa! Down girl!" Junko said. "…Even though I wanna kick this guy's ass too."
"Oh look, I found a reason to kick him in the arse." Gloria said.
"I was thinking of punching him down there." Marnie mumbled while Ruby made a mental note to have Yang kick his butt later.
Chiaki fast forwarded again.
"Seduce me."
"…You?"
"Seduce me…"
"What? Spy, I ain't gonna-"
"SEDUCE ME!"
"Right… right…" Scout looked at his options while Sonia, Ibuki and Nora snickered.
"Wait, did he just seriously pick up the bucket of chicken? That won't work!" Peach said.
"It'd work for me." Daisy smiled, causing Peach to sweatdrop.
"Not helping, Daisy…"
"Hey there… good looking… I got a bucket of chicken-"
Spy slapped him. "I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps!"
"Oh screw you buddy. Fried chicken is the way to go!" Daisy grumbled. "Asshole…"
Spy grabbed a mannequin. "I'm a woman… I like my men dangerous, mysterious! You want to be my lover? Earn it. Seduce me!" He had the mannequin slap Scout again.
Chiaki fast forwarded again.
"Hey Miss Pauling, oh, I am so sorry!"
"God, Scout, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in the briefcase that- oh oh! Give me your watch!"
"Yeah exactly! See, that is where it all starts! No, actually, wait…"
"Aaaargh!" Soldier was thrown in. "HAHAHAHA! I TELEPORTED BREEEEEEEAAAAD!"
"Too far!" Chiaki exclaimed, backing up a little.
"Guys!" Engi opened the door to the trio that was watching behind the camera. "Hey fellas, listen! It's just bread that gets tumors!"
"Not even tumors! It's some sort of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. Here, watch this." He shook the jar, which was enough to piss off the little bread monster. "Oh look, it hates me so much!" He chuckled, while Soldier laughed as Engi walked over and wrapped his arms around Medic and Soldier's shoulders.
"So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any bread."
"Question!"
"What's your question, Soldier?"
"I teleported bread."
"…What?"
"You told me to."
"How much…"
"I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days!"
"WHERE?!" Medic threw the jar down and grabbed Soldier by the collar. "Where have you been sending it?!"
Everyone heard Chiaki giggling again. "You okay?" Hat Kid asked.
"Y-yeah… I'm good!" She giggled.
"Scout… I get one day off a year… and you just wasted it on THIS. Goodbye."
"Wait wait wait! Ah… why don't we discuss this over dinner?" He opened the door… to reveal a gigantic bread monster.
"What the hell is that?!"
"Whoa!" Nora exclaimed. "…Now that's a monster I wanna wrestle!"
"Hmm! Interesting…" Dimentio mused. "So, I suppose if we go to this universe… we steal their bread and we get the results."
"Question is… how do we get there?" Gloria asked.
"Hmm… I know someone who could help." Sarge said.
"You looking for someone?" A voice asked as they saw Crazy Hand floating above them. "What can I help ya with?"
One explanation later…
"So… you want to see if it's possible to actually make a bread monster and potentially cause chaos?" Crazy asked.
"Yeah." Chiaki nodded.
"You asked the right hand for the job! Alright, I'm going to send a few of you there! Away you go!" He said, snapping his fingers.
Meanwhile…
"Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"
As the Red Team quickly stopped what they were doing and chased after the bonehead responsible for snagging the intelligence, Chiaki peeked out of a vent. "Okay, coast is clear." She whispered as she climbed out, and was joined by Donut, Gloria, Marnie, Luigi, Dimentio, Mukuro, Hat Kid, Conductor and Ruby.
"Okay, so… where do we find the bread?" Donut asked.
Ruby closed her eyes, sniffing the air. "…This way!" She said as she walked off.
"How in the world…?" Donut wondered.
"Oh, apparently my senses have increased after I went into my Zinogre form for the first time." Ruby explained.
"Wow!" Luigi smiled. "That's useful."
Another point against Grimm Ruby… ahahaha. Dimentio thought, turning his head and spotted something. Oh?
"It's in here." Ruby said, coming across a door.
"…I've a feelin' someone's in there." Marnie said.
"Hmm… oh, a vent!" Hat Kid pointed up.
"Awesome!" Donut fist pumped as they climbed inside and crawled through.
BGM: Three Days to Live (Team Fortress 2)
As for Dimentio, he found himself in the intelligence room. "Hello…" He whispered as he heard footsteps behind him. He quickly turned himself invisible as Heavy walked in with a whistle, putting the intelligence on the desk and walked away.
"Our intelligence has returned to our base."
Dimentio reappeared. "Fascinating…" He mused as he walked over and then looked both ways before opening up the briefcase. "Let's see…"
End BGM
With the others…
The vent on the ceiling opened up as one by one, everyone dropped down as they saw the loaves of bread in front of them. "Perfect!" Chiaki smiled.
"We're absolutely crazy…" Ruby whispered.
"Yeah, well, sometimes you have to get wild with experiments." Gloria whispered while Mukuro instinctively went to the door and was on lookout.
"How much bread do we need?" Luigi asked.
"And are we going to teleport bread for three days?" Donut asked.
"What? No, I'm not that crazy… but let's just snag a few." Chiaki said, pulling out a few slices of bread… when suddenly the alarms blared.
"INTRUDER ALERT! A CLOWN IS IN THE BASE!"
"A clown is in the base?!" Soldier yelled as he quickly took off running.
"Protect the briefcase!"
"We need to protect the briefcase!"
"…Dimentio?" Mukuro guessed.
"Dimentio." Everyone said as Chiaki went right to collecting more bread.
With Dimentio…
"Goodness gracious, these files… a gravel war that never ends? Robots made by someone named Gray Mann? Australia underwater? A Yeti park that turned into a Mercenary park? Nothing seems to be useful here… except for maybe this australium thing…"
"You! Stop right there!" A voice said as Dimentio looked up to reveal most of the mercenaries.
"Oh, did I set off the alarm? How silly of me." Dimentio said.
"We got you surrounded, at least from this side!" Soldier exclaimed. "Now drop the briefcase and put your hands up in the air so we can destroy you better!"
"Oh, is that a fact? Ciao~!" Dimentio disappeared.
"SPY!" All of them yelled.
With the others…
"Okay, that should be plenty." Chiaki said as she got up. "Let's get out of here."
"Right. …By the way, how many mercenaries are there again?" Mukuro asked.
"Nine, why?"
"Because I saw eight of them running ahead."
"How observant!" A voice said as Spy emerged from his Cloak and Dagger.
BGM: Right Behind You (Team Fortress 2)
"Oh crap!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Uh oh…" Chiaki whispered.
"I am not sure how you managed to get into our base nor what you are doing with our bread. That said…" He pulled out his Diamondback. "You will put that bread down."
Mukuro aimed her gun at Spy. "Yeah, about that…"
Spy shifted his eyes as he turned around to sweep kick Mukuro to trip her up. She caught herself and sprang back up. She pulled out her dagger as he pulled out his, the two of them engaging in a knife fight.
"Uh… should we leave or…?" Ruby asked.
"We should, yet I'm curious to see where this goes." Marnie responded as Mukuro grabbed Spy and put him in an armlock. However, Spy smirked and disguised himself as Mukuro. Mukuro blinked in surprise before the two of them quickly engaged in another knife fight, soon resulting in the two tackling each other.
"…Oh goodness, it's gonna turn into one of these." Chiaki sighed as the two of them sprang back up, both of them looking at the group.
End BGM
"So, which one of us is the real deal? Is it me, or is it-" Mukuro aimed her gun at the other Mukuro and pulled the trigger, which in turn caused the disguise to disappear and Spy fell to the ground.
"Nobody's got time for that bullshit." Mukuro said.
"Oh my peck! You killed him!" The Conductor exclaimed.
"Oh, he's fine. He'll respawn." Chiaki waved it off as Dimentio reappeared.
"So! Shall we get out of here then?" Dimentio asked as they climbed back into the vent with the help of Donut giving them a boost as Crazy Hand would teleport them back one at a time, but as they did so, Demoman came charging in.
"HALT!" He yelled, glaring at Donut, Gloria, Marnie and the Conductor. "Make one move and all of ye is a goner!"
Marnie's eyes widened. "…Oh no, he's Scottish." She said. One more and we'll have a team…
"Ey, put yer fockin' weapon down if ye know what's good for ye, lad!" Gloria blurted out.
"Yeah! And we'll strangle ye until yer eye pops out!" Conductor exclaimed.
"…Dear lord…" Demoman said in awe.
Back at the Smash Mansion…
"Alright, we got the bread!" Chiaki said happily.
"And intel… sad intel, but intel nonetheless." Dimentio said.
"Of course you would look into it." Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Um… guys?" Grif asked. "Where's Donut?"
"Yeah, and where's the Galarian lovebirds?" Pit asked.
"And the other bird… is he a bird?" Simmons asked.
"He's an owl." Hat Kid responded.
"…Riiiight."
"Dear lord, they've been kidnapped!" Sarge exclaimed. "What kind of sick, diabolical things are they doing to them?!"
On the other side…
BGM: Soldier of Dance (Team Fortress 2)
"Wooooo!" Demoman exclaimed as he was doing a dance off with his fellow scotsmen. Even Donut joined in on the fun as he breakdanced while Gloria did the splits before getting back up and spun aroud while laughing while the Conductor did a mixture of the robot and moonwalking.
Marnie, meanwhile, leaned on the wall and chuckled. "Not much of a dancer, frauleine?" Medic asked.
"Not really." Marnie said. "I mean, I'll dance occasionally but dance offs aren't my style."
"Understandable!" Medic nodded, examining an empty Pokeball that had rolled away from Gloria. "Hmm…" He mused, opening it up. "Fascinating…"
A ring portal opened up as Luigi looked inside with Hoopa. "…Yeah, that's diabolical alright." Hoopa said sarcastically.
"Hmm? Hey! Why don't ye join us, lads!" Demoman exclaimed.
"…Dear Arceus, he's Scottish." Hoopa said.
Luigi sweatdropped. "Welp… that would explain why those two are having a fun time." He said.
"That's our cue. See ya!" Gloria waved as they all walked in, the ring portal closing.
End BGM
"Aye… they are good lads."
"Hmm…" Medic looked at the Pokeball and then looked at Demoman's weapon. "Aha!" He exclaimed as he grabbed his grenade launcher and took off running to his lab… and came back out with Pokeball Grenades. "Try zhis out!"
"Okay…?" Demoman fired a grenade, as the Pokeball landed on the ground. It then opened up and let out a powerful explosion where the blast radius was about two feet wide. "Ach! Beautiful, lad!"
Other side…
"Ibuki could've joined the dance off…" Ibuki mumbled.
"Alright, let's see what'll happen if we just dump this bread on one of the teleporters." Chiaki said as she dumped the bag into a teleporter.
Castle Dedede…
"Hmm?" Dedede wondered as the bag teleported in. A few Waddle Dees walked over to it curiously and opened it up… to reveal a medium sized bread monster lunging out. "WHAT IN SAM HILL?!" He yelled as the bread monster lunged at the king. "AAAACK!" He yelped as everyone teleported over there and saw what was going on.
"Welp, there's our monster!" Nora said, her eyes sparkling as she ran ahead. "I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!"
"Soooo, you satisified?" Ibuki asked with a grin.
"Oh, absolutely!" Chiaki smiled.
"A LITTLE HELP HERE!" Dedede yelled, running away while Nora rode it like a bucking bronco.
"Wahooooo!"
"Mind if I have a turn next?" Dimentio asked.
"Soooo… now what? Do we sic Doom Guy on this thing or…?" Daisy asked.
"I got a better idea." Chiaki smiled.
Thirty seconds later, outside of Castle Dedede…
A Waddle Dee chased a butterfly across the field, happily chasing it.
"POYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!"
The Waddle Dee jumped, turning around to see the castle shaking.
"Poyo poyo~! Poyo poyo poyo~! Poyo~! Poyo Poyo~!"
The Waddle Dee sweatdropped, taking a U turn and walking the other way.
Inside…
The Bread Monster, now completely dead from Kirby singing, lay in the throne room while Nora emerged from the bread. "That was fun!" Nora smiled.
"No, it wasn't…" Dedede groaned.
"Thanks Kirby!" Chiaki smiled.
"Poyo!" Kirby smiled happily, jumping up and happily nuzzling against her.
"Wonder what it'd be like if Ibuki were to amplify that…" Ibuki wondered.
"I think Popstar would no longer exist…" Pit said.
"Probably."
"WHAT! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO GO DEAF!" Epsilon yelled.
"Yes! Apparently so!" Tucker said.
"Soooo uh… considering that's puss or whatever coming out of the bread…" Daisy rubbed her chin. "What do we do now?"
"This is where I make my leave. Ciao!" Dimentio disappeared.
"…Winged bread with toast, anyone?" Chiaki asked.
"Yeah, I'm game." Hat Kid nodded as they walked out.
"So what am I gonna do with this bread monster in the throne room?! Guys? Guys!" Dedede called out to them.
But no one listened to him, much to his dismay.
I think I've watched Expiration Date way too many times... especially when new videos of people reacting to them pop up on my feed.
Ibuki: Worth it~!
Anyway, this idea was brought up by Underworld Lord/Wizard Magics on Discord. It was so silly, I thought "Why not!"
Ibuki: Mhm! Oh, and the other thing!
Oh right. I have a new poll on my profile. I meant to put that up after the last chapter of Promised Day, but I forgot about it... and then Jacques died, so, eh... better late than never to get the other one public, right?