Newly Revised

The next day found Daryl and Ani standing in Aaron's garage, the door wide open as Daryl began looking through all the parts, sorting them into piles for what he needed for the bike as Ani watched on. She'd slept rather peacefully in Daryl's arms and had managed to take a shower instead of a bath in the morning. She was feeling pretty damn good even though she was still rather self-conscious about her newest scar. The others had been on her body so long that it didn't matter if people stared when they saw the scars, even if she still felt bad about the state of her skin. But the healing wound on her head would take a long time to fade from the nasty pink it would be when the scab fell off to become skin color. It could take up to three months for it to no longer be the puckered nastiness it was every time she changed the bandage and up to a year for the redness to fade, and that was if nothing happened to make it worse. She had admitted to Daryl the night before that she was feeling very insecure with her head how it was and the scar and the loss of hair; all of it made her feel, for lack of a better term, gross. He'd kissed her senseless until he had to pull away or else he'd take it too far, and Daryl wasn't ready for that, no matter how much she pouted about it, until she was healed up a little more. As it was, watching Daryl work with his arms bare and an intent look on his face wasn't helping any with what he'd started last night.

"Think ya can fix up the four wheela, too?" Ani asked him.

"What? Don't wanna ride with me no more?" Daryl asked a little petulantly.

"D, I'm always goin' ta be ya ride and die. Always," she told him, going around the table he was working at and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Was jus' thinkin' that lata on, might be nice ta have somethin' the twins can ride on, too."

"Ania, they can run pretty damn fast, 'bout as fast as a person on a ten speed can go," Daryl informed her, turning around, wrapping his arms over hers and leaning back against the table with her between his legs.

"Well, it can haul stuff too," she pointed out.

"S'pose. Not workin' on it first, though."

"Didn' ask ya ta. Not ready ta not be ridin' with ya anyway," Ani said as she leaned up on her tip toes to give him a soft and sweet kiss before she pulled back and looked up at him, all the love and wonder she felt towards him shining through her eyes.

"Am I interrupting?" Deanna's voice sounded from outside of the garage, making Ani stiffen in Daryl's arms and Daryl turn to give the woman a scowl. "I was coming to say I'm sorry. I had just gone over the tapes and was coming to talk to you when everything happened the other day."

"If ya were sorry, ya would a killed 'em 'stead a sendin' 'em away," Ani told her. "Or at least held 'em 'til I was good 'nough ta pass a judgment and tell everyone the truth 'stead a lettin' Pete spread a bunch a lies 'bout me."

"I understand that they were some very bad people, but we do not kill inside these walls," Deanna tried to emphasize. "I am sorry for what Pete has been saying and I am trying to quell the rumors-"

"But ya can', 'cause people don' like different and I'm as different as they come. I already told ya that, so ya can' do shite 'bout the rumors 'cause they're already out there. And I'm tellin' ya now, Deanna, there will come a time when ya will have ta kill within these walls. Someone will try ta take this place or they'll come in and try rapin' the women and killin' all the men. One day, could be days, weeks, or months from now, ya'll be forced ta. This place, ta keep it safe, ya goin' ta have ta make the tough calls like that. Ya goin' ta find out the hard way, ya kill or ya be killed in this world."

"That's not how it works here," Deanna insisted. "Look, I know I promised you would be safe here only for you to be attacked not two days later, but I need you to listen to me. We are not killing people here."

"What happens when someone walks up ta ya gate and starts firin'? Or what happens when someone climbs them supports right up the walls and starts killin' the people ya tryin' ta protect? The people who don' know a damn thing 'bout how ta protect 'emselves? What are ya goin' ta do then, Deanna? What are ya doin' now ta protect 'em?"

"What would you have me do? Arm people within the gate? Hand out weapons to children to learn how to fight? We are trying to build something here-"

"That can' be kept if ya keep thinkin' the world works like it used ta," Ani cut her off in a passive tone. "This? This is more the Wild West than 20-, what is it now? 2011? 2012? Eitha way, this is the world a bandits, wolves, and thieves. The good people, the people tryin' ta build things like this, they have ta be like the people from the Wild West, armed and ready ta fight 24/7/365 for what they want ta keep. Deanna, I'm tellin' ya for ya own good, here and now. Anyone hurts my family, I'm goin' ta kill 'em. They even try it, they're dead. Anyone hurts the people a Alexandria, I'm goin' ta kill 'em. We're stayin', which means the 'community' ya want ta build falls unda that same protection a bein' family. I ain' goin' ta suffa abusa's ta stay. And the ones already here? They ain' goin' ta want ta leave if they make 'emselves known and ya try ta exile 'em. So nah, Deanna. Ya can' be buildin' somethin' like this and expectin' ta keep ya hands from bein' bloodied."

"Like yours?" Deanna inquired, having learned through the interviews that Ani had the title of 'Lady Death' in their group long before she had needed it. "I've heard all about what you've done. How much blood is on your hands?"

"If ya lucky, ya'll neva have as much blood on ya hands as I do, nor for the reasons why. My hands will neva be clean."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I've done what I've had ta, whateva I've had ta, ta savive, my whole life, Deanna. Ya think this is the first time they marked me up and took somethin' from me?!" Ani told her, motioning towards her airing stitches and finally moving away from Daryl as the anger exploded inside her. "Here, take a good damn look!" she said, throwing her vest off and her shirt over her head, exposing her skin.

Deanna gasped as she took in the marred flesh of the woman in front of her, the long, thin lines crisscrossed her entire stomach and back, up and across her upper chest. She could even see ones that reached down into the comfort bra she was wearing. Thicker, even longer scarred lines of flesh covered her back, what looked like letters at the base of her spine as Ani turned to show the full extent of what she suffered just from the knives and whips and belts. Several more thin lines littered her upper arms and shoulders, two thick scars running along her clavicle, one on top and one below, while the bruises she'd received from the beating almost made the scars stand out worse. Daryl came to her and picked her shirt up as she began breathing heavily as the memories set in. He could tell they were by how badly her fists were shaking at her sides and there were tears running down her face. Helping her back into her shirt while blocking Deanna's view, he only then noticed how Aaron was staring at the patchwork of flesh himself.

"Get a good enough look?" Daryl growled at both of them.

"I-I'm sorry," Aaron said guiltily, making Ani jump in Daryl's arms. "I was just coming to see if you wanted something to drink."

"It's okay," Ani whispered as Daryl held onto her.

"You're family did all that?" Deanna asked weakly.

"Some people, they don' deserve ta be called family," Ani croaked out. "People like them, they ain' eva goin' ta change, Deanna. Abusas don' change."

"Are you sure of that?" she asked, thinking about her suspicions of Pete.

"There's a reason they call it abuse," Ani deadpanned. "When a person is treated with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly, it's abuse. Abusa's don' stop."

"What if one did?"

"One wrong move, they'll start back up again."

"And what do you suggest we do? I refuse to kill."

"Ya don' have ta, Deanna. But someone will. And if I find who ya talkin' 'bout, ya best pray that someone ain' me, 'cause I won' fuckin' hesitate ta make sure they can' hurt someone again. Whetha that means beatin' 'em black and blue and showin' 'em they ain' shite or it's goin' ta be one a us dyin' 'cause they lose 'emselves ta the anga. And I ain' goin' down without a fight."

"Even if there were children involved?" Deanna asked, wondering just how far this woman would go to protect others.

Ani blanched at that thought, turning her face back into Daryl's chest, "If I see kids gettin' hurt, I hold nah responsibilities for my actions. I won' sit back and watch a child go through what I did. But I won' kill their parents in front a 'em if I don' got ta."

"You have strong morals, even when they conflict."

"They don' conflict. Jus', well, nah child should have ta watch their parent die," Ani said, looking back at her. "I may be a monsta, but not ta children. Neva ta children."

"You call yourself a monster," Deanna said. "Why?"

"Ya asked how much blood I have on my hands? I've had ta kill since I was twelve, once or twice a year 'til I was seventeen and tried ta kill my daddy 'cause they drugged me in an attempt ta sell me off, yet again. If I hadn' a missed, we wouldn' be havin' this convasation and I certainly wouldn' be missin' a chunk a my hair! I got ova ninety deaths on my hands, Deanna, ninety, and I rememba every single one."

"Including your sisters?"

"Nah," Ani admitted after a moment, holding onto Daryl as the shaking got bad. "Not countin' 'er. Won' count 'er. Want ta forget she eva existed, at least the best I can. Can neva truly forget with all my scars. But I can try."

"And if you had killed your parents? Would you count them?"

"Nah, I wouldn'. And nah one could blame me. Afta what they did when I was growin' up, afta everythin' they've done ta me, I refuse ta acknowledge their existence 'less I'm faced with 'em. They've been dead ta me for years and years. Ain' goin' ta count what I don' want ta care 'bout."

"It doesn't bother you at all?"

"I neva said it didn' or doesn' botha me. But I do my damnedest ta forget it and move on with my life. 'Cause what the fuck else can I do?! I killed my fuckin' sista 'cause she tried ta kill me! I didn' do it 'cause I wanted ta, I don' want ta kill my parents. But I will ta keep myself safe, nah matta the cost. I'll do whateva it takes ta keep my family safe. 'Cause that's what's got ta be done."

"Is that how you truly feel? That you have to kill your parents to keep us safe?" Deanna asked, realizing just how seriously Ani took the entire situation.

"Yeah, I truly do."

"And if someone else was getting hurt? What would you do then?"

"Talk ta the ones that are bein' hurt. Make sure the suspicions are founded. Then, I don' know. I'd definitely teach 'em a lesson, if I didn' jus' kill 'em."

"I hope, for their sake, you don't catch them," Deanna said after careful consideration before walking away

Daryl and Ani shared a look, Ani's face going dark, "How much ya wanna bet she's talkin' 'bout Pete?"

~x~

"Ani?" Beth asked as she came into the garage where the woman was handing Daryl tools as he worked. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?" she asked, Ani looking at the teen's pleading face and nodded her head.

"Sure, sweetie," Ani told her, handing Daryl the socket wrench in her hand before leaning down and kissing his temple. "I'll be back."

"You better," he warned. "Ain't back in an hour, I'm comin' after you."

Chuckling, she simply told him that was fine before holding her hand out to Beth and leading the young girl away. There was a beautiful pond and gazebo in the center of town that was regularly left empty that would make a perfect place for a heart to heart sit down. Ani wasn't sure what was bothering Beth, but the attraction she'd had to Noah had started to burn out and it was noticeable to the whole group, even as Noah started talking to another girl. They were still good friends, but whatever flirting had taken place at first had now become pretty much just friendly and well-natured over the course of the last week. Ani wasn't sure if it was because there were more options or if they were just always meant to fizzle out and be friends. She had her suspicions about what had happened that had made Beth so hesitant about having any kind of romantic connections, since she was the one that had started pulling away. Noah seemed to be there for the younger teen, though, and although Ani wouldn't admit it, she had been waiting for the girl to come to her. She knew what kind of people Gorman and Dawn had been and there had to have been a lasting mark from what Gorman had tried. She just hoped that she could do something help her without panicking herself at opening yet another box she'd been letting collect dust on the back shelf of her mind.

"What's wrong, girly?" Ani asked, cringing and making the same face Beth was making at her saying that. "Yeah, sorry, nope. Ain' pure blooded Dixon and that jus' sounded weird as fuck comin' from my mouth."

"That's for damn sure," Beth said with a laugh. "Can I ask you somethin' and that you keep it a secret? Especially from Maggie? She'll just worry more than she already is."

"I can' promise that. Ya know I can'."

"Even if," Beth drew out, almost as if she was thinking. "If I was askin' somethin' based on you bein' a psychologist? Not a friend or a leader?"

"Oh, damn, serious matta, eh?"

"Yeah, I don't...I don't want the others to know," she replied with a slight break in her voice. "I really, really, don't want anyone ta know. Please? I know it's not fair and I know you don't like keeping secrets, but-"

"Ya need someone more'n a friend right now, right?" Ani asked with a nod of her head. "I'll give ya the docta/patient confidentiality deal. Not a word a what we talk about gets out between the two a us."

"Thanks, Ani. How's your head, by the way?"

"Nuh-uh, nah subject changes, sweetie. Ya tell me what ya asked me out 'ere for."

"Not even gonna ease into it?"

"Nope. Tear the band-aid off, as it were."

"Are you gonna start talkin' normal any time soon?" Beth asked, Ani's speech still holding the stronger Irish accent it took when she was stressed.

"Been trying ta, honestly. Think I might a hit my head a liddle harda than I thought. Might take longa ta talk completely normal. Got most a it back."

"True," Beth said before getting quiet and looking at the water, fidgeting and waving her knees back and forth. "When...when you were twelve? What...what really happened?"

Ani was taken aback, not at all expecting a question like that to come from the youngest adult in their group, "Where's this comin' from, Beth? What happened ta ya?"

"Nothin'," Beth said quickly. "Well...It...it wasn't nothin'. Back at Grady...There...there was a man...Gorman? He, uh...he was rapin' this girl and he...he, uh...he..."

"He wanted ta do it ta ya," Ani guessed.

"He found me in Dawn's office," Beth said, tears pouring down her cheeks as she remembered it all. "I fought him off, but...but...he...when he caught me in there, he had me trapped between him and her desk. And he just leaned in and...and...just smelledme. I couldn't do nothin' and then he turned me 'round and practically pinned me to him. He...he...he stuck his hand up my shirt and he...I fought him off, but he still..."

"Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay," Ani said, bringing the girl to her shoulder where she began sobbing openly, tears pricking Ani's own eyes. "Ya fought 'im off. Yeah, he copped a feel, and it's goin' ta take a long time ta feel clean again afta that. I know. What happened when I was twelve? Only reason I was able ta get the ledda opena was 'cause 'e was distracted by puttin' 'is hand down my pants. Daryl...Daryl don' know that. Don' even think Merle knows that, least I hope 'e don'. Bastard knows 'nough 'bout me past ta make me uncomfortable 'bout what 'e tells Daryl. But the point is, we savived with our dignity intact. We savived, sweetie. And nah madda how long it takes, ya goin' ta feel clean again. And ya goin' ta find someone who loves ya for everythin' they have."

"How? How do you get clean after somethin' like that?"

"Time. Ya heal. Ya accept it happened. Ya move on. Ya won' eva be able ta forget it, not really. But ya learn ta stick it in a box in the back a the mind and ya do ya damnedest neva ta let it open up again. It ain' ya fault it happened, and that's the biggest thing ya got ta rememba. It ain' ya fault. And that's somethin' I know I struggled with when it happened ta me."

"I don't think I like men," Beth admitted quietly. "I mean, the ones from our group, it ain't so bad, you know? But bein' around other guys, it makes my skin crawl. It feels like I'm always bein' watched, always waitin' to be pounced on."

"That's normal, love. It really is. Ya suffa'd a traumatic experience. Somethin' like that don' go away with the blink a an eye. It's goin' ta take some time ta feel betta. Ta feel safe 'round people who remind ya a ya experience. But look at ya! Ya haven' given up! Ya been keepin' out there minglin' and canoodlin'. Ya damn strong, kid, damn fuckin' strong."

"I don't feel strong. I feel weak," Beth admitted, looking down even as she kept her head on Ani's shoulder.

"Sweetie, I mean this with all the love in my heart," Ani said before moving so she could look at Beth in the eye. "Ya've always felt weaka than ya are. Always are goin' ta 'til ya don'. 'Cause ya don' know ya own strength. I'm plannin' on trainin' Rose in MMA, well, least if she wants me ta. Don' know if she's goin' ta want me ta or if I really want ta take the time ta if she doesn' stop givin' me a hard time. But if ya want, I can train ya, too."

"You said I wasn't ready for it."

"Ya know how I built my self-esteem up?" Ani asked the young woman who shook her head in reply. "I took self-defense classes and learned MMA, lata focusin' more on Judo and Muay Thai ova Brazilian Jiujitsu, though, that's also a part a MMA fightin'. I think, like me, Muay Thai would be perfect for ya. It's good for smalla people since ya can attack the vital points easya. So, if ya feelin' weak, let's train ya up. If ya don' think ya strong, let's make ya strong. Ya fought off Gorman and Jeffries with minimal trainin', Beth. Ya ain' as weak as ya think."

Beth nodded her head, "I think I'd like that. Learnin' to fight like you do. I don't ever want to feel weak like that again."

"Train with me, and ya'll neva have ta again."

~x~

"Let me walk you back, Tiny," Abraham said, seeing Ani walking alone after Beth had gone to find her sister. "Headin' back to Daryl, right?"

"Yeah."

"You doin' alright?"

"Think ya can do me a fava?"

"Depends, is this a favor as a leader or a favor as a friend?"

"Wouldn' call it a fava if I was askin' as a leada. It'd jus' be an orda," she admitted with a chuckle, earning a smile back from Red. "I jus', can ya and Merle talk ta the men? Jus' chit chat, get a general feel a things. Maybe bring up if any a them know a any problems in the community?"

"What's goin' on?"

"Somethin' Deanna said. We were talkin' 'bout abuse and she said somethin' that makes me think we've got an abusa in Alexandria. Ya know I can' be havin' that, but I need ta know more 'bout the town, 'bout the situation. I need ta know how far these people are willin' ta go ta keep their people safe. Will they abandon them when the goin' gets tough? Or will they prove jus' how tough they are 'emselves and defend each otha? I don' wanna take ova if I don' have ta, but if the town's willin' ta protect an abusa, I don' see how I can get 'round it."

"Are you sure you want to wait?"

"I'm sure I ain' 'bout ta let someone go through what I did, what Carol did, Phia. I ain' lettin' it happen unda my watch. Whetha or not I kill the son a bitch who's doin' it, I ain' goin' ta fuckin' let it happen." They walked in silence for a few, Ani noticing the looks she was receiving while Abraham walked steadily beside her. "I wanted ta thank ya."

"For what?"

"For helpin' with my daddy. For gettin' 'im off me. Didn' know I'd gotten so far away from Daryl and I was terrified."

"You don't gotta thank me for that. If they hadn't've caught you with your back turned, you wouldn't have needed my help," Abraham told her; he'd seen red and had been ready to kill the man himself if Daryl hadn't have been trying to kill the bastard. "I'll keep an eye out for the asshole you're lookin' for, ask around. If there's a shit stain within fifty miles of here, I'll root 'em out."

"Thanks," Ani said, spotting Daryl coming out Aaron's garage, wiping his hands on his rag and looking around. "Gotta go."

"Yeah, wouldn't want your 'Daddy D' to be worryin' about you," Abraham teased with a smirk.

"Gods, ya jus' 'bout as bad as fuckin' Merle, Shortcake!"

"At least I ain't a Shrimp."

"Ratha be a shrimp than turn inta a lobsta."

"Hey, I happen to have a glorious tan."

"If by glorious tan ya mean 'burnt crispiness,' then, yeah, s'pose so."

"You know, I have been in a dessert and not been nearly as burned as you'd think."

"Do I get bonus points for actin' like I care?"

"Ooo, you're gonna get it one of these days."

"Ha! Love ta see ya try, Red. Love ta see ya try," she said, walking away from him as he chuckled and walked along, quickly moving to Daryl as he caught sight of her. "All done for the day or jus' takin' a break?"

"Been an hour," he told her.

"And 'ere I am," she smiled up at him as he grabbed her and moved her back to their house.

~x~

"Hey, Sasha," Ani said, sitting next to the woman who was sitting on her own on the porch.

"Hey," was her response. "How are you?"

"I'm gettin' betta every day."

"Still doing that thing with your talking, I see."

"Yeah. Been, what, five, six days? And I still can' get it right. Been able ta start talkin' like normal for the most part, but some words are easya than othas."

"You'll get there."

"So will ya," Ani told her. "I know ya still havin' problems dealin' with Bob and Tyreese."

Sasha scoffed, "You know what the worst part about it all? I got drunk at Deanna's party because I couldn't handle it. The people, the noise, the nonsense that they were talking about. Wanting to know my favorite meal like it's something important!" Her emotions kept revving up as she spoke, "And I got drunk. I slept with Abraham. How could I do that? After Bob? After Tyreese? How could I just..."

"Hunny, ya listen ta me. Ya and Abe, might a been a mistake it happened how it happened, but the man's been lookin' afta ya since ya lost Tyreese. Ya got ta know that. Hell, 'e was flirtin' with ya when ya helped me get Bobby and Catty down at the barn."

"Yeah, I know."

"Pretty sure he'd be gunnin' for ya given some time anyway. I think Bob would be okay with ya movin' on, ya know? I think 'e opened ya heart up, and I think Abe could help it heal if ya let 'im and let it. Ain' gotta be right now, ain' gotta jump inta nothin'. Jus', think 'bout it and know I'm 'ere if ya need anyone ta talk ta."

"I know, Ani. I'm just...I'm trying."

"I know. Ya lost right now. Nothin' wrong with bein' lost. Jus' know, ya got people willin' ta help ya find ya way back."

"Thanks, Ani."

"I'm the one who should be sayin' that. Ya got that bitch off'n me," Ani said before she chuckled. "Ya damn near choked the bitch out!"

"She was hurting you," Sasha said in exasperation, as if she couldn't understand why it meant so much to Ani. "None of us were going to sit back and watch that happen. And your head. There was so much blood. Abe and Merle went back to clean it and ended up digging up some dirt while they were there. Daryl gave you a transfusion."

"Yeah, I heard 'bout that. But ya don' get it, Sash. Nah one, nah one , has eva stood up for me. Not directly. My papa, he dealt with 'em when they were on 'is propaty, but not when it was happenin'. What ya did, what Abe and Daryl did. I've neva once had that happen 'fore. And then, for the first time, I actually was taken ta a docta, even if 'e was an asshole, ta be patched up. That's neva happened 'fore, eitha. These things might not seem like a big deal ta ya, but ta me, they mean everythin'. The fact that ya stood up for me, that is literally everythin' ta me. Everythin' I eva wanted as a kid. Everythin' I eva wanted my family ta do for me. Ya came to my aide even though ya didn' have ta. I don' think I'll eva be able ta convey how much that means ta me, not really. And I'll neva be able ta make up for it. What ya did for me, it really means the world ta me."

"Ani, all of us would have done that. All of us that were there, we all stood between them and kept them from following Daryl and Merle with you. Glenn was ready to kill them both, which is honestly saying something. He's always been more level headed than any of us. We all fought Deanna on that decision, just letting them walk. No one wanted them to."

"I know. Tara told me when she came ta check on me yestaday," Ani said. "That reminds me, I need ta find that Denise lady. Gotta give 'er a propa thank ya. Should a done 'fore now."

"Yeah, that was pretty thoughtful, saving your hair like that. What are you going to do?"

"'Bout my hair?" Ani asked, looking at the woman who nodded. "Only thing I can do now, 'specially since that scar ain' goin' ta be growin' hair. Might as well leave it how it is. Ain' eva goin' ta be the same now," she said sadly.

"Well, I think it looks badass. You said you're half Irish, right? Could probably be a real Viking woman now. Just need a few more braids and a couple dreads in that mane of yours and you'd look the part."

"Maybe I'll have ya help me with it," Ani laughed, though she knew she'd probably only add a few more braids and feathers to it herself.

"We both know that ain't happening," Sasha laughed, knowing Ani probably wasn't going to let anyone touch her hair again for a while, except Daryl. "Come on, I'll take you to Denise."

"Let me go tell D."

"So, back to being attached at the hip, huh?"

"What?"

"You're acting like you did at the prison before he left and you became Ms Drill Sergeant."

"Oh, well, can ya blame us?" Ani asked, hoping they weren't really that bad and trying to defend why she wanted to be with him all the time right now, let alone tell him where she was. "Separated for a week, not knowin' if the otha was alive, then almost dyin' in Atlanta only ta get inta a fight ova my recovary and almost break. Finally fix things and I get attacked. I jus'...I'm not ready ta be alone," Ani said, tears in her eyes as she looked down. "I'm terrified, Sash. I'm so scared they're goin' ta come back and it won' be me they hurt this time. They'll go straight afta Daryl for what 'e did, how 'e took me away. They're gonin' ta hurt 'im, Sash. They're not goin' ta take 'im takin' me from 'em lyin' down. I'm terrified a what they're goin' ta do."

"You've got all of us, Ani. We aren't going to let anything happen to you. Or Daryl," Sasha tried to assure her. "Why don't you go find Daryl and I'll take you to Denise? Should have that looked at anyway, though it looks like it's healing pretty well."

"Thanks, Sash. If we go ova ta Aaron's, Daryl's workin' on the bike with Merle. Is it bad that I'm okay with havin' a 'guard' with me when I'm walkin'?"

"After what happened a few days ago, I don't blame you for wanting to be a little extra protection for now. Honestly, I think most of us have agreed to keep an eye out for you, even if we didn't mean to."

Ani laughed at that as they walked up to Aaron's house, Merle leaning against the table Ani usually sat on chatting away about one of the women he was flirting up. Apparently, Francine from the construction crew was one hearty woman with quite the finger, even if it was just to flip the bird. Ani was just happy he had his own room to mess up with the woman, or the woman's own house, instead of something she and Daryl shared with him. Even if there were a few drawbacks to living in the community, at least there was one thing she could look forward to. And if Daryl thought he was going to get away with turning her on and then leaving her hanging the night before, he had another thing coming. Even if her head was still a little itchy and tender, Ani had every intention of making sure he didn't stop half way when she got him on the bed later. She was still pissed that he had stopped with the excuse that he head still needed to heal and he didn't want to hurt her or have a stitch pop or something because he was horny. While it was rather endearing about how protective he was being, enough was enough already and, contrary to popular belief, she wasn't a fragile doll! Sure, she was a little nervous being by herself yet and she was definitely terrified of her parents coming back on top of being self-conscious, but her body felt fine. She didn't need him to keep being careful with her after he decided he was going to get her all hot and bothered only to leave her hanging.

"Hey, little miss Ani," Merle said with a jovial smile on his face. "If you're lookin' for Phia, good luck. She's stuck all over that Mikey kid. Gonna have to scare him away just to get her head back on right."

"Aw, is Pops jealous a Phia's first outed crush?"

"Ain't jealous. She's just gonna go soft if she keeps hangin' with that bean pole. And what you mean 'outed?'"

"She'll be alright," Ani said, smiling softly as Daryl stood up and accepted her into his arms as hers folded around him. "Bet ya a pound a meat it ain' goin' ta go anywhere anyway. Ya see how she looks at Enid when she and Carl are tagetha? Bet ya anotha pound they'll end up tagetha in the end," she told him before turning to look at Daryl. "Goin' ta find that Denise lady. Got ta tell 'er thanks."

"Alright," he said, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead and making her sigh. "Be quick, though. Aaron's invited us for dinner."

"Again?"

"Yeah. You good with that?"

"Should be makin' 'em dinna with how many times they've hosted us," she said as she stepped out of Daryl's arms and back over to Sasha.

"Hey," Daryl said, still having a hold of one of her hands, making her turn to look at him. "Love you."

Sasha and Merle shared a look and a chuckle as Ani smiled softly at him before responding, "Love ya too, D."

~x~

"Sorry for the mess. I normally don't get visitors in the, uh, living area," Denise said, Ani watching as nerves set it.

"Didn' mean ta give ya a panic attack. Can go down ta the infirmary if ya like?"

"Oh, you didn't...I'm not..." Denis stopped her stuttering and denial when Ani just gave her a look. "Okay, yeah, I'm really nervous. Kind of funny to be a psychologist who has panic attacks."

"Not at all," Ani said, walking over and helping her pick up the piles of books. "It ain' like I really want ta go downstairs anyway. That asshole makes me nervous. Ya got a lot a books."

"Yeah, I really like to...Oh! You don't have to-" Denise started as she noticed Ani beginning to organize her books based on author and title in alphabetical order.

"I like it," Ani told her, giving a soft smile. "Used ta have a library at home. Well, not home. What became my home, my apartment. I'd rearrange it regularly based on different systems. This is the most basic. Put ya books in piles based by autha, then ya go by book name, or the first book in the series if it's a series. Sometimes I'd do it based on genre, othas importance, othas times I'd jus' throw 'em on the shelf and let the place fall inta utta chaos 'fore I was able ta get it picked back up. Executive dysfunction can do that ta ya."

"I can imagine. Um, well, these are mostly medical books. I went to med school, but then the panic attacks and the fear and the stress. I ended up in psychology to understand why."

"A fellow knowa a the mind. I'm a forensic psychologist. Got inta psychology ta undastand my own mind, autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, reasons for aggression and what empathy was. Ended up takin' an internship at the Atlanta PD and fell in love with the criminal and law aspect a psychology that takes place there."

"I'm just a normal psychologist," Denise told her. "Nothing special at all."

"I think ya are. Ya special 'nough ta see a girl ya know nothin' 'bout get upset 'bout losin' 'er hair, a all things. And 'stead a lookin' at 'er like she's a freak, or crazy, or stupid, ya washed 'er hair, made two bracelets out a it, and gave it back ta 'er in a way that makes it easya ta cope with what she lost. Ya the epiphany a special, Denise. Ya really don' know what these bracelets mean ta me."

Denise looked at her then, really contemplating the girl who was making quick work of setting up her library before she asked, "Why did you freak out so bad? I mean, Pete normally doesn't want me down in the clinic, so when he called me down, I figured it was for something bad, not a gash on the head. And how do you not have head trauma?"

"Ya know ya can get a concussion without gettin' maja head trauma, right?" Ani said with a bit of a laugh. "Think the gash made it look way worse than it really was. Eil-she neva did have the strength he and their otha daughta had. Jus' got lucky there was a jagged piece a metal there ta tear inta me. Or maybe she knew it was there. Who knows? Jus' know they left anotha permanent mark on me, one I can' cova up this time and is goin' ta leave a good centimeta wide and three inch long scar on me skull. The hair ain' eva goin' ta grow back."

"You don't look much like Thomas or Eileen. His build, her eyes, but that's it."

"Guess I got a lot a regressive genes. A lot a her side a the family. Neva met 'em, don' know what they look like eitha."

"What if you were adopted?"

Ani openly laughed at that, "Yeah, I thought that, too. There's nah way I was adopted, though. 'Sides, my grandparents wouldn't allow such a shame as an adoption. It jus' wouldn' happen."

"You know, I never really did like them. Thomas was always making fun of me and Olivia for our weight. Olivia suffers from PCOS and I've just always been on the bigger side. My brother and I both were, though, bigger for him meant beefy. But he was always hounding us about it."

"Bet Eileen had a few not so nice words ta say 'bout ya, too. Ya, Aaron, and Eric."

Denise looked at her, taken aback, before asking, "How'd you know?"

"Hun, ya been checkin' out my ass the whole time I been 'ere. Ya 'bout as bad as Tara 'bout it, ta be honest," Ani chuckled. "'Sides, I saw ya checkin' Tara and Rosita out, too. If it was jus' me, well, I mean, I do have a damn fine ass if I may say so myself. But ya regularly check out the women and ignore the fine as hell men in our group. Not really hard ta figya out."

"Wow, you are really observant."

"Yep."

Denise nervously handed her the next book for the shelf Ani was working on before asking, "Eileen, she would throw a lot of insults my way. She broke into Aaron's house once and wrecked the place, but no one could do anything about it because Tom told us she was suffering from a mental break from being out there too long. I couldn't tell the difference, so Deanna's hands were tied. I started watching them a little closer after that, but-"

"Ya couldn' get anythin' on 'em. Yeah, ya wouldn'. No offense since ya a psychologist, but those people, they're great at wearin' their masks. Don' feel bad for not knowin' their true colas. Twenny three or four years and this is the first time they've eva showed it ta the public, and it's 'cause learnin' 'bout Chrystal's death made 'em snap," Ani said with a shrug. "Figya'd I'd be the one ta see them first, but they saw me and took me by saprise since I didn' even know they were here. But I didn' freeze," Ani reminded herself, Denise taking note of how the woman's eyes weren't focused on what she was doing, but looking into space. "I didn' get the chance ta attack 'cause they got smart with the endin' a the world and got me head 'fore they really started, but I didn' freeze. I tried ta defend meself."

"Hey," Denise said, walking over and putting her arm on Ani's shoulder, making the girl jump and turn her head, knowing she wasn't in any danger right now. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Even if they were abusive, they were your parents."

Tears fell from Ani's eyes as Denise spoke, barely managing to get above a whisper as she responded, "I get the abuse. I get the cycle a violence. But why? Why couldn' they love me? Why do they hate me so much they've always wanted ta kill me?"

"I don't know," Denise said with a sigh, watching as the woman shook her head and dried her eyes before resuming her work on the shelves. "I think some people just don't have the capacity to love."

"That's for damn sure," Ani said before putting the last book in place. "There. All done. That wasn' so bad now, was it?"

"This would have taken me a week," Denise said. "You've been here for an hour."

"I'm really good at organizin' and bein' quick. And 'sides, this was the only thing I could do ta say thanks for the bracelets. I mean it. They really mean the world ta me and Daryl."

"It really was nothing big," Denise insisted.

"Maybe not ta ya. Also, sorry for the drama. Guess I still got that little girl that wondas why still takin' up a bit a space in my head."

"No worries. And I wouldn't call it drama, more like, being real about your trauma. Sometimes we psychologists forget that we're people, too. We're as emotional as the next person."

Ani laughed at that, asking Denise to check her stitches while she was there since she still didn't want to deal with Pete, even if she was watching him from afar now. When given the a-okay, Ani thanked the woman again before heading back out of the house and towards Aaron's. Sophia was heading that way too, looking for Merle; Carl was with Enid and the boys again and Sophia wasn't interested in sticking around playing video games or reading comic books. It seemed to be getting under the girl's skin how much time he was spending with the others and how little he was spending with her. Ani couldn't say she blamed her, though, since she'd already behaved similar once before. When they were at the prison and Ani had taken up more responsibilities, Sophia had been rather upset about that. She had suffered through a lot and lost a lot since the turn; the last thing the little girl wanted was to lose anything else. Her issues with abandonment had gotten worse after what had happened at the prison and what Sophia had learned her mother thought of her. It wasn't surprising at all that she was having difficulties loosening the reigns with the people she felt closest to. That was part of the reason the girl had taken the room right next to hers and Daryl's room and across from Merle's. She wanted to be close to them in case anything happened so that she could run to them if she needed them and Ani was all too happy to be the one she ran to.

"So, why ya avoidin' Carl?"

"Well, he wants to spend time with Enid and I don't really want to spend time with her and Ron and Mikey all the time. I kinda wish we could do something together again. It's not fair. We get here and he gets new friends and forgets about me."

"Why don' ya jus' talk ta him like ya did with me at the prison? See if ya can' find some time for the two a ya ta do somethin', even if it's jus' ta sit and talk. I mean, he is ya best friend. Kind a hard ta feel like ya losin' that."

"Do you think he'll listen?" Sophia asked, worried she'd lose her friend if she voiced her jealousy.

"Hun, I think 'e'll undastand that ya miss 'im and jus' want a couple hours a the two a ya hangin' out every few days. Ain' like ya tryin' ta take 'im from 'is new friends. Ya jus' want some time ta be the two a ya. Maybe do some trackin' out in the woods or somethin'. I know exactly how that feels. When ya momma was constantly followin' Daryl out, I felt the same way ya feelin' now 'bout wantin' more time with 'im."

"Were you jealous of my mom?! Eww!" Sophia said with a face, making Ani laugh.

"I was afraid a 'er gettin' in between D and I. If I weren' in the picta, I'm sure there could be somethin' 'tween 'em. I mean, they got a lot in common. That's why I don' want ta get in the way a their friendship. I ain' the only one that's got ta undastand Daryl, and I wouldn' want ta be. I don' got ta like 'is best friend for 'er ta be his best friend. I jus' needed reassurance that 'e was mine and needed ta stop thinkin' I wasn' good enough for 'im. Jus' like ya need ta stop thinkin' Carl won' undastand. If anyone will, it's Carl. If ya want, I can help ya talk ta him."

"No, I think I should be the one to talk to him, like you said. I don't want to rely on you all the time," Sophia said, hugging Ani and thanking her for talking as the garage came into view and Ani heard the rev of the engine of a motorbike, smiling and breaking out into a sprint.

"Ya fixed it?!" she asked, coming around the corner and peering in, seeing Daryl sitting on the bike.

"Just about," he told her, looking at the excitement on her face. "Gotta fix up a few more things on the frame."

"Told ya ya were smart as hell."

"Shut it."