Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
BGM: News (Pokemon Colosseum)
"Breaking news, everyone! Lisa Lavender is out sick today, so I'm gonna be your charming host for this segment! Hello everyone, Deadpool here and I'm gonna be kickstarting today's recap!"
"Hey! You're in my seat!"
Deadpool turned to see Hades approaching him. "Oh hi, Hades! Just… uh… keeping your seat warm! Mind if I co-host?"
"Sure, you can co-host…" Hades punched Deadpool away. "But I'm gonna be hogging the spotlight!"
"Oooof… noted!"
Hades turned to the camera. "Hit it!"
End BGM
BGM: NFL Theme
Super RWBY Sisters Presents:
Another SRS Recap!
Hosted by Hades, the Charming God of the Underworld!
Guest Starring: Deadpool!
"Our top stories tonight: Super RWBY If is off to a strong start hosted by my charming variant, Narrator Hades! Super RWBY PSA is trying to remind us that it exists! And some of Nanny Boy's reviewers that breathe down his neck still continue to refuse to touch grass!"
"Kinda hard to touch grass when America is under lockdown with a massive winter storm." Deadpool pointed out.
"Bah, they can tear through the snow and touch the frozen grass. A little frostbite wouldn't hurt 'em!"
"Fair enough!"
"Now then! Let's resume where we left off!"
End BGM
"But before we go into detail of that expired blueberry's oh-so-boring plan… allow me to clear something up for you real quick, dear readers!" Hades smirked. "On our first recap, I've been teasing Nanny Boy's impeccable predictions over the Smash Roster! For those in the know, you know!"
"But for those who don't…" Deadpool chuckled. "Hoo boy, strap yourselves in because we're gonna hop in a time machine and go to the past!"
In the audience, Nan's eyes widened. "Wait, you're not seriously…"
Ibuki snickered. "Looks like it!"
"Indeed, my red friend! But I feel unqualified for this segment… so I'll turn this over to my good friend, Sabrinaverse Hades. Oooooh Sabrinaverse Hades~!"
Meanwhile, in the Sabrinaverse
BGM: Scamper Shores (Bowser's Fury)
"Hello all! Nice to see you lovelies again! Now for you veterans, you'll probably know what's going on! For you newcomers who only started reading SRS, you're gonna be in for a treat! Allow me to take you back to the humble month of July Fourteenth… Twenty Fourteen. It was a beautiful month… the Sabrinaverse saga began with Sabrina's first ever story of her meandering about in video game and anime worlds, for she was a gamer and anime otaku! Yes… Mushroom Kingdom, Mega Man's world that got the Tarzan treatment… and one fateful day on July Twentieth was when Sabrina, her brother Sora, Latias, Goofy and one angry duck in desperate need of anger management… they arrived in this little world called… Smash Mansion."
Hades grinned. "You see… Smash Mansion was the Sabrinaverse's answer to Olympus Coliseum, and wouldn't you know it… Cloud was oh-so conveniently there being manipulated by Ganny Poo. Buuut like always, Cloud received some humble pie! Let's review this little scene for a second here!"
"The thing is, I tried to exploit the power of darkness, but it backfired." Cloud said.
"You'll find it." Latias said with a smile.
"We're searching too." Sabrina said.
"For your light? …Don't lose sight of it."
"How about a rematch sometime? Fair and square, no dark powers involved!"
"Think I'll pass."
Sabrina smiled. "Oh, he'll probably change his mind."
"You might be wondering… what's the big deal about this?" Hades grinned. "Remember when I said it was the year 2014? Recall the year when Cloud was put into Smash Four."
"Never thought I'd see the day…"
Cloud Storms Into Battle!
(November 16, 2015)
"And thus began Nanny Boy's descent into madness with his predictions! But that's not all folks! Later on in Kingdom Hearts II, in the same year no less… Sabrina gets a bit grumpy that Duck Hunt got into Smash Bros! Presumably because of the salt she experienced when Duck Hunt taunted her… hahahaha! Anywho, just when you thought she couldn't get any saltier… this is said… presumably in October 2014!"
"I'd rather have Bayonetta in here than that mutt…"
"Hmmm! You'd rather have Bayo, you say? Weeeeeell…"
"Oh, another angel? Must've missed one! Let's dance, boy."
Bayonetta Gets Wicked!
(December 15, 2015)
"That's right, folks! You can blame Sabrina and Nanny boy for all your problems with Bayo in Smash Four! You're welcome! And just when you thought he was done predicting in this universe… he does it again in the SRSverse! Ooooh, and by the way! Before I forget… remember when I said that Sabrina and Co went into the Smash Mansion? They all became Smashers! Who was in that group? Sora! And just who was the last addition to the roster in Smash Ultimate~?"
Back in the SRSverse
*Audience Gasp!*
Nan's eyes widened. "Aaaah shoooot! I completely forgot about that!"
"Wait wait wait a moment! He predicted Sora in 2014 as well?" Hades wondered.
"Yes, indeed! And as I recall, in his Touhouverse rewrite, he had Sora mention "I'll think about it" when Master Hand talks about it!"
Hades smirked. "Must've been fate! You can't escape it!"
"So how many points are we at now?" Deadpool asked.
"Um… Infinity!"
"What? No! I swear we were ten for ten the last time we did this!" Nan said.
"Good point! Infinity Plus Ten!"
Nan facepalmed. "Neeever mind…"
"Anywho! Thank you, Sabrinaverse Hades! Say hello to Touhouverse Hades for me!"
"Will do!"
"Isn't he charming, folks? And yes, we typically communicate with each other on a regular basis!"
"And they said me and Ibuki communicating would be headache inducing. HA!"
"Now then, let's get on to our main topic! Galaxy 2!"
End BGM
BGM: Bowser's Lava Lair (Super Mario Galaxy 2)
Super RWBY Galaxy 2: Galactic Conquest Prime
"Now I could just be a nice god and resume where we left off when Rosalina nuked them… but that wouldn't be very fun, would it? Let's go back to the beginning!"
"Oh boy!"
"Oh joy…" Nan rolled his eyes.
"There there." Ibuki patted his shoulder.
"Sooooo, Peach decides to have another attempt at a Star Festival with Rosalina making it rain Star Bits. How well does that go? Well, you know what they say. Every time Peach throws a party, the monkey's paw immediately goes into overdrive… because Bowser arrives and is looking like he dipped himself in blueberry jam! He immediately destroys everything, but Sammy comes to the rescue! Oooonly for the expired blueberry to show up and take her powers and rub it in her face when Rundas, Gandrayda and Ghor show up to ruin her day!'
"And then she and Ridley goes and declares war on the heroes! …Because that always goes well for the villains!"
"I dunno, I'd say it's going pretty well for Salem!" Hades grinned. "Anywho, everyone gathers an army of large proportions and… whoa, wait a moment, that's too many characters! A bloated cast! Call the National Guard, we got a crisis over here! …Well, according to this one Guest reviewer anyway. You know who you are, mister "I need to touch grass"."
"Oooh, the comments are gonna be wonderful when I get those notifications…" Nan mumbled.
"And I'm just gonna sit back and laugh at the salt! Salty reviewers gives me power to continue to make fun of them!" Hades grinned. "Anywho! So they go to war, Ibuki arrives fashionably late with Roman and Emerald… Nora bites it when she grills the greenhorns and, uh oh… things were smooth sailing until the cactus gets herself induced by Phazon! Oh no! Viridi got hit with Phazon! …Anyway."
"HEY!"
"And then when things couldn't get worse, Raven and Akechi show up and makes Yang grouchier than usual! Uh oh… abandonment issues! Family Drama! Oh noooooo! Anyway!"
"Hey, at least Ruby likes Raven!"
"Yes, indeed! Yoshi gets his tail whooped by Ridley, Pyrrha then shows off her new weapon after Data Xehanort destroyed her weapons, Junior gets scared away by Ridley and… oh no. What's this? It appears Dark Samus just casually waltzes in on the Observatory! …She does that a lot. You'd think they'd have better security in the Observatory that someone hostile storms in! Hmm! You'd think the space goddess would've learned after Bowser and Egghead stormed in."
"And just like that, Dark Samus reveals that the past galaxies that everyone's been to have been dipped with that Phazon juice!" Deadpool said. "Thus, begins Rosie's descent into maddening despair!"
"Ooooh, I sense a storm approaching!" Hades grinned. "...Wait a moment, aren't we forgetting something?"
"Uh… the battle of Beacon and Chrom is responsible for Cinder being the full Fall Maiden? Which, by the way… DAMMIT CHROM!"
Pause BGM
"No, not that… I feel like we're forgetting… oh! Before we continue… may we direct your attention to this!"
BGM: Taking it Easy (Kirby: Squeak Squad)
MAJC: The Great Cave Offensive
"Remember these guys? Sure, you do!" Hades grinned. "The last time we've seen these guys, they were huddling in a cave after Syrup chews them out! But wait, Zoey makes a phone call to Atlas which gets Syrup's attention and hijacks some Atlas ships! How'd she do it? Nobody knows, not even the Ironwood family knew how she did it!"
"And because of Syrup's sneakiness… she managed to get a Chaos Emerald for some reason!" Deadpool said.
"But anywho, MAJC makes their grand escape, find their way into Dreamland and goes inside the Great Cave Offensive where they meet the Squeaks who were scavenging for treasure! …That's odd. I thought this was MAJC: The Great Cave Offensive, not MAJC: Squeak Squad!"
Deadpool laughed. "Good one!"
"So the two gentlemen race to see who gets the most treasure… Jen finds the Four Seasons treasure and becomes an unofficial Fifth Maiden, the Gun Maiden… filled with seasonal magic! At least SOMEONE is finally living up to the name MAJC. Seriously, false advertising much?" Hades smirked. "Oh yeah, and they also run into a Super Mario 2 enemy! I wonder what happened to him…"
"Do we have a video on what happened to Phanto?" Deadpool asked.
"Actually, we do! Let's see what happened to it! Hit the play button!"
The scene cut to Phanto flying through the emptiness of space, heading directly for the Observatory… only it got pulled by the gravitational pull of a black hole nearby and sucked it in.
"Well, what do you know! Phanto can get destroyed by black holes! You heard it here, folks! Now you too can haul a Subcon Key to outer space and trick the mask into following you into a black hole! Hope you have an extra 1-Up with you!"
"What if they don't?"
"Well… it was nice knowing them."
"Ouch…"
"Aaanyway, Galacta Knight shows up to save MAJC… only to get possessed by the spirit of Wham Bam Jewel! By some miraculous power, MAJC and the Squeaks defeat Galacta Knight and the former flies away on the Hydra, destroy Ironwood's ship and steal a Chaos Emerald… and run over an intergalactic speed bump that is Ridley! But what about Syrup? Oh, she got thrown in jail when Team Chaotix, Naegi and Phoenix Wright busted her butt in jail! Oh, and Wario was being Wario too. Hahahaha!"
"As far as we know, she's still sitting in Atlas's holding cells!" Deadpool said.
"She still is!" Hades grinned. "So MAJC returns home safe and sound with their names cleared and Anthony returns all the treasure to Anna, including the Chaos Emerald! …I wonder if we'll ever see that Chaos Emerald again. Maybe some day! Oh, and Morpho Knight pays Galacta Knight a visit. …Now back to Galaxy 2!"
End BGM
Resume Bowser's Lava Lair BGM
Back in Galactic Conquest Prime…
"So let's see here… ah yes, Yang with family drama, Rosie having the worst experience of her life… well, possibly second worst if that one explosion she had several centuries ago was anything to go by. And… oh! It looks like Hiyoko said "Screw it! I'm coming back to space!" and brings Mikan along! …Who turned into a badass over night."
Deadpool raised an eyebrow. "Are we sure this is the same Mikan who pissed herself every time someone talked to her?"
"This is what we call "Character development", if a wimp like Luigi can be brave, then so can a timid nurse!"
"Good point!"
"So the heroes continue to gather Power Stars, folks are getting hit with Phazon, Dimentio shows up to ruin Ruby's day at one point, which is just pleasant to my ears, hahahaha! Hat Kid shows up with her group, Gloria has a wonderful time with the Conductor… and, oh! Look at this! Wild Glide Galaxy got hit with a Nergigante! Oh, look, Seryu's there too."
"Oh look, you're here too! Hahahaha!"
"And Seryu attempts to be evil but fails dramatically! And just when things were looking bad… oh! What's this? Off in the horizon? Could it be? Ruby actually getting powered up by the power of furries?" Hades grinned. "By golly, Ruby got herself powered up with Zinogre!" Hades said.
"Boy, I'm sure that made that Ruby simp bust a nut!" Deadpool said. "Seriously… maybe he can stop breathing down Nan's neck!"
"He's got to touch grass first! But I doubt he's ever heard of the concept." Hades smirked. "Wait… hmm… the guy who's currently breathing down Nanny Boy's neck over a so-called bloated cast, another guy breathing down his neck for Ruby in general… I wonder if these two are related? They could be twins! I wonder if they can take a joke that we're making fun of them?"
Hades grinned. "If they do, great! If they don't… I'll enjoy the salt!" He laughed. "Anyway, Ruby's Zinogre form is top notch and Seryu runs away with her tail between her legs! …Oh, wait, she doesn't have a tail. I wonder if it got snipped off… anyway! More chaos brews throughout the adventure, Hiyoko and Mikan arrive, Blake breaks down over the possibility of her being an X-Parasite, not to mention she has a lovely reunion with Serris again! Drama brews in Bowser's Army as Gloria and Marnie have a lover's quarrel! Girls, girls… I know you two are dancing around your feelings but I don't think punching each other is the way to go! …Oh, wait, it does! Hahahaha!"
"Turns out Marnie was there because Dark Samus forced her into fighting Rollodillo! …Poor girl."
"Yes, tragic… truly tragic. Anyway. Rosie is having a breakdown, Dimentio takes advantage of this, more family drama with Dark Samus listening in, SERIOUSLY, do they have better security? Anyone could just waltz in at this point! Anyway, Kokoro gets the daylights scared out of her and she becomes lethargic! I say she wasn't lethargic enough… I would've put in a few Silver Lynels in that group of ReDeads, Gibdos and Dead Hand! Maybe even a few Ornes too for good measure~! But alas, they don't last long… however, the Phazon that gets put into Haunty Halls Galaxy gives Dimentio an idea. An evil, rotten… glorious idea!"
"What is that, you might ask? Dip Ruby into Phazon and kickstart this world's version of Chaos Ruby!"
"And hoo boy, does Chaos Ruby feel it! I wonder how she's doing these days…" Hades mused. "Anywho, Ruby's dipped in the Phazon and just when you think Dimentio has the ace up his sleeve… Ruby immediately turns on him! Because she hasn't been through the wringer unlike her paper self! …Funny how she says that considering she's the universe's favorite chew toy!"
Hades laughed. "Anyway, Ryuji scolds the man and they proceed to whoop his butt into submission, they go and rescue more Stars with the help of the Koopa Troop… where at one point, Dark Samus brainwashes Piers, putting Marnie into a state of depression but she bounces back due to Nora's shenanigans! And while this is going on, Remnant and all the other worlds are evacuating because the Phazon is spreading everywhere at a rapid pace! Not even Wild Zelda could hold it back! But, all is not lost for Hyrule because the Lord of the Mountain dispels the evil blueberry juice… and he even holds his own against Dark Samus and pummels her into the dust just like that!"
"Ooooh, that'll hurt!" Deadpool chuckled.
"Oh Dark Samus… please understand that you're nothing more than a broken record and that you will have your just desserts DIRECTLY to you!" Hades grinned. "...Goodness, may that wonderful man rest in peace. Anyway, back in space, Rosie's temper is flaring at an all time high, Ruby is one with Phazon, Sammy's upset but then she finds out about an area known as Aperture Science where SPBRR, the Strike Team and Futaba go out to investigate!"
"Is that a bloated cast for that area?" Deadpool wondered.
"Oh, absolutely not! We just gotta make them put on some weight to make it a true bloated cast!" Hades grinned. "But, according to that one reviewer, I'm sure he thinks it was a bloated cast to Aperture Science! But anywho, Sammy reunites with her best friend Chell… heh, right… "Best" friend. They're definitely an item, Nanny Boy is just too cowardly to show it!"
"...Excuse me?!"
"You're too easy! I should know… I hang out with Yoshi." Hades smirked. "Anyway, they fight GLaDOS, run into Cave Johnson where he reveals his shenanigans have caused the planet to stop turning… Rosie handles it as well as you'd expect. Dark Samus is a suicidal glutton for punishment when she takes Rosie's book, they fight Wheatley, he's thrown to space and… Samus and Chell escape Aperture Science from getting themselves blown up! …It's a shame, really. I'm sure that one guest reviewer would make a lovely test subject for GLaDOS. …Oh right, she's been spared from that chaotic explosion. Oh, and Dark Samus recruits Doom Guy!"
"Yes indeed! That doesn't go well for her since Ibuki snaps him out of it after he tears CFVY apart!"
"Oooh yes, that's quite the L for our villain! Aaaand Ridley gets his wings stripped off! Anyone up for some draconic buffalo wings? I hear the hot sauce is to die for!" Hades grinned. "Oh, and I show up to help save the day along with a good buddy of mine… Thanatos! But not my Thanatos, Zagreus's Thanatos! Boy, I wonder what's going on in that Underworld! I hear video games are all the rage down there!"
"Nah, that's just Zagreus helping Chiaki get out of there! Surprise, Chiaki's alive!"
"Yeah, but Theseus's manhood isn't! Oh wait… he was never a man to begin with." Hades smirked.
"Heyo!"
"And oh look, Junko's here too!" Hades said.
"I'm not going to let some big breasted bimbo take this opportunity away from me!"
"Look who's talking."
"Ladies and gentleman, we got a CATFIGHT!" Deadpool yelled. "And not the hair pulling and the sissy slap fight. I'm talking the good kind of cat fight!"
"However, Chiaki almost dies in that fight but Cerberus saves the day and dunks Junko in the River Lethe, and those two escape the Underworld!"
"...I wonder, does Chiaki actually have a big chest? I gotta know for science!"
"Ibuki can confirm for ya, Wade-chan. Chiaki-chan's chest is actually that big!"
"That answers that question!"
"Her chest is probably smaller than Uzaki-chan's though. Seriously… those things could poke an eye out!" Hades rubbed his head. "Anyway, Chiaki finds out that yes, we are actually real and she has a fangasm attack! And then she builds herself an X-Wing with the help of a Meloetta and Mew and they fly off to the Comet Observatory! …Or at least they would have gotten there earlier but someone had that itch to play Breath of the Wild."
"Back to the Observatory, more people are joining the cast, the Koopalings are getting rescued, Rosalina fights the Nergigante that was at Wild Glide… aaaaaand things go south really quickly!" Deadpool said.
"Indeed! While Zinnia and Rayquaza are fighting the Nergigante, Ridley impales Rosalina and tears apart her story book while Dark Samus comes in completely armorless! Why is she armorless? Well, she had a run in with Yen Sid after trying to invade Radiant Garden. Didn't work out so well for her… although she did get a few hostages! Belladonnas, Willow, Tatsumi's friends, Cardin's family and an old man. And just when you think it couldn't get any worse… Ridley kills a Luma in front of Rosie!"
"Oh no!" Deadpool exclaimed.
"Oh yes! Rosie's despairing! …But first, a look at the weather. Pandora, if you'd be so kind!"
"Thanks Hades. Today's forecast is a balmy four hundred point eighty one degrees below zero in the depths of space with a hundred percent chance of a supernova! If you are currently in Fleet Glide Galaxy or somewhere nearby… no amount of sunscreen will protect you. If you are at ground zero, you might as well be one of the lucky ones. And if you're one of the few who are playing video games in space, you might want to put that console down and go toward the light! Like PRONTO! Anyway, that's it for now. Back to you, Hades!"
"I can't believe we didn't do that weather joke in the first recap…" Hades rubbed his head. "Anyway, while Rosalina is blowing things up, Chiaki notices the light and flies into it!"
"No, Chiaki! Don't go into the light, you beautiful soul!" Deadpool exclaimed. "...Oh, wait, going into the light is a good thing in this scenario! Because soon after, a team bands together to save the hostages, only to be met with the Heartless from hell!"
"It's not my Heartless, I didn't create it! …Though now I wish I did. It'd be fun to sic it on Pitty Pat. Anywho, not only does Chiaki show up to save Hiyoko, but fire butt shows up as well to deal additional damage… until Caboose deals the final blow! Aaaand a Grimm Metroid Prime is too strong to die from Ruby's silver eyes so they bolt! Although thus begins Dark Samus's descent into failure! …Oh wait, she began her descent since the beginning of the story. Hahaha!"
"Meanwhile, reunions!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Hiyoko, Mikan and Ibuki reunite with Chiaki in a group hug! …But trouble seems to be stirring in Mikan's heart…"
"Ah, I'm sure it's just heartburn!" Hades waved it off. "Anyway, after Rosalina gets a pep talk from her mother and meets Chiaki, not to mention Taiyang reuniting with his grandfather. Oh, right, forgot to mention the family drama came to an end when Ridley almost kills Raven in front of Yang. Shin Yang to the rescue! Oh yeah, and Kokoro gets back to her old self at one point too."
"And before you know it, all the Koopa Troop is saved except for Bowser! …So the Koopa Troop goes in and saves Bowser!" Deadpool said.
"Yes, and Chiaki plays Overwatch with her friends… and none of them are the wiser!" Hades grinned. "Aaand then they save Bowser, Hop decides to pull a Luis, and Bowser is fully brought up to speed! …You know what this calls for?"
"A vacation?"
"A vacation to an intergalactic theme park made by Mickey Mouse who decided to build theme parks to get his mind off things when Aqua was trapped in the World of Darkness. Some friend! But no matter, the theme park is quickly overtaken by Bowser because Marnie unwittingly gave him an idea!"
"Yeah, but my boy Spider-Man makes a cameo and Wall-E and Eve join the party! …I'm sure that one reviewer's seething right now."
"Eh, let him seethe!" Hades chuckled. "Anywho, at one point, Chiaki is confronted by the expired blueberry and sics Star Wolf on her, but it turns out it was a ruse by Star Wolf as they, Star Fox and Chiaki manage to blow up Dark Samus's ship together! And apparently, she hasn't noticed Ruby's phazonic condition yet. Talk about tunnel vision… hahaha!"
"And because of that, Wolf Boy hatches a plan and boy, does it catch Dark Samus off guard!"
"Indeed, with all the casual visits at the Observatory, you'd think she would have noticed Ruby's condition…"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn Sound*
"Tsk tsk tsk. You call yourself a villain? Go back to villain school 101! …Oh wait. You won't go back." Hades grinned. "Oh, by the way, did we forget to mention Mario got kidnapped by Dimentio? Because Dimentio kidnapped the plumber, only he shows that he's not a gentle bruiser. Just ask Seryu! But anyway, Dimentio put a halt on Mario's rampage and manipulates him. Turns out, he's insecure! Who knew! It certainly made a reviewer groan over this, that's for sure. Love the enthusiasm, buddy boy!"
"Yup, and because of that, Mario was pummeled by his friends to get the possession knocked out of him. And to think this was going on when everyone else was driving on a Rainbow Road marathon and Samus kept trying in vain to say they haven't shrunk." Deadpool shook his head.
"Once that was done, Mario reveals that he worries that people would leave him, but they cheer him up anyway and give 'em a grand ol' hug. And after that, the downfall of Dark Samus begins right after Umber shows The Perfect Run who's boss! And his fear of that one Phazon Chimera too! He had enough, that's for sure!"
"And once he took care of that, Dreadnought Galaxy makes a return… and they blow it up right after! No fair, I loved that galaxy…" Deadpool mumbled.
"But before they blow it up… Samus and Dark Blueberry have their duel after Ridley and Mother Brain betray her! And what happens after Samus defeats her? Good ol' Cindy Loo Who proceeds to mock her after she had a change of heart when Bowsette talks some sense into her! Well, actually, Yukari smacks her around first… but then Cinder mocks her!"
"Just one other thing… do you believe in destiny?"
"Yes…"
"Good."
"Hey, hey, I've seen this one! I've seen this one! This is a classic!"
"Good thing Pyrrha dodged a bullet on this one! …Or in this case, an arrow." Hades grinned.
End BGM
"And then they head off to K2L to fight Ridley! …And if you've seen Avengers Endgame, you know where this goes!" Deadpool grinned.
"Unfortunately, Earth didn't blow up in Endgame. But not to worry! I got my fill when K2L blew up instead! Heyo!"
"Booooooo!"
"Ha. Love that salt. The Miracle Cure goes off to do away with the Phazon, Ruby's Phazon is now a part of her magic after Yukari cures her, and Remnant is back to normal! Oh, and Chiaki and the rest of her class reunites, Hajime asks her out, and Mikan and Chiaki make up! And Tai reveals that he's dating Rosalina! …Apparently Summer didn't get the memo even though she told Rosie to keep an eye on Ruby when she leaves!"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn Sound Effect*
"So anyway, Raven goes back to her neck of the woods, only to discover that Maleficent made a mess of things and turns Vernal into a Heartless! Not only that, but she brings Pete, Gaston and Facilier along! …I can understand Facilier but Gaston? Dude won't last five seconds against this cast… I look forward to the upcoming carnage!" He chuckled. "Anyway, she's consoled and so is Sora because apparently Tron got wiped out because Watts got his grubby hands on some data!"
"And then surpriiiiiise, it's Christmas time! Apparently, Kohga's a scrooge. Who knew?"
"He was haunted by the ghosts of Christmas Present! The ghosts being JINXY, of course." Hades grinned. "Oh, and we get a death montage for Damian. He deserves it. Xena and Yagami meet Umber's mother who promptly embarrasses him, Bowser conscripts him in the army right after… something that happens way too often! ATMC finds a camping spot in Dimble Wood while Mario seeks out advice from Byleth, and Cinder tells Salem to shove it! Meanwhile, Aqua chews out Eraqus while Ruby's family meets Zhang's wife, oh, and Seryu and Umber have their first meeting! How well does that go? Well, they encounter a killer rabbit after Umber talks some sense into Seryu and she leaves him unsure of what to do! She starts to spiral into more depression!"
"And then… we get to the soccer tournament!" Deadpool said.
"Hold up! Before that happens, Junko finds some old friends of hers and gets conscripted into Caboose's long list of friends! Truly, the start of a turning point for Junko! Oh, and at one point, Whitley reunites with Aria! …Didn't go so well for the former, that's for sure!"
"Yeah, and meanwhile, Celeste's a vampire now! Bleh bleh bleh!"
Hades grinned. "Yes, indeed! Now then… let's see what happens next!"
Super RWBY Strikers Charged
"Ah yes, the Strikers Charged tournament! Truly, a more exciting time than Mario Strikers: Battle League! Everyone can just sit back and just relax, have a wonderful time as the carnage commences! …However, Bowser is a poor sport and ruins it all for everyone, but luckily MAJC and JINXY band together to put a stop to him! Luckily, they have a runback later on but I'm getting too ahead of myself here."
"Indeed… for there's trouble brewing in space again!"
BGM: Lavender Town (Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee)
SPBRR Dread
"Resuming the Metroid Arc, Ridley, now Samus's maid…" Hades chuckled. "That'll definitely make a Ridley simp breathe down Nanny Boy's neck in the future…" He laughed. "Anywho, they receive word that the X-Parasite and the SA-X are back into play, but could it be a ruse? Who knows, but Samus is eager to get to the bottom of this. And with some convincing from Blake, they set off to Planet ZDR where Penny, SAPR, Pichu and Newt stowaway! …However, Weiss isn't having any of it when she heard the X-Parasites might be back, so she gets a team of her own consisting of herself, Ruby, Yang, Aqua and Chell and forms team WARCY!"
"Not only that… but we have a second story to go along with this one!"
JNPR: Project Freelancer
"That's right! The Reds and Blues, Hiyoko, JNPR and JINXY head off with Washington and Carolina to finish the job with the Director! However, everything is thrown topsy turvy when an EMP blows up, Sister nearly succeeds in sexy time with Doc trapped in Xena's body, luckily that wears off, Carolina and Nora beat the living hell out of a friend pretending to be CT, Epsilon gets a new body, Tex makes Hiyoko nearly piss herself, Sarge realizes they're fake and Hiyoko learns that her screaming at the Reds and Blues was a bad idea!"
"Aaaand Jade asks Futaba out on a date at one point!" Deadpool said.
"Yes, and they refused to kiss each other because Futaba keeps getting cold feet. Truly a wonderful time!" Hades grinned. "Anyway, Sarge gets cheered up, Tex and Carolina have a hell of a cat fight, Chiaki and Hajime show up and blow up a UNSC base, and they go off to find the Director… only to save Carolina who refuses to let go of her grudge against Tex. And then Carolina finally confronts the Director… only to finally let go much to Epsilon's dismay and, surprisingly, Hiyoko talks some sense into the Director, where he gets a second chance! And then he and Carolina get closure from Alison and call out the Chairman, who then sics Felix and Locus on them… and they take their sweet time getting there." Hades grinned. "Slowpokes!"
"Oh yeah, and Laxus gets knocked out of his crystal prison courtesy of Nora! Yeah, Fairy Tail's in here!"
"About time, honestly." Hades chuckled. "Anywho, back to ZDR."
Back on ZDR…
"Soooo, while the Reds and Blues are having a party, Raven Beak dismantled everyone and even took Rosie's cosmic powers! So now we got a depowered Rosalina to worry about… luckily Palutena and Ibuki pull through and give her upgrades for the time being, and Samus proceeds to beat the living hell out of some of the EMMI that tried to kill them. They even manage to save Kraid who got kidnapped by Raven Beak in the Phazon War! One EMMI in particular hunts them down throughout the planet but eventually gets beaten. However… things take a particularly sinister turn when they arrive at a peculiar place after Quiet Robe bites the dust… For you see, the place is actually crawling with X-Parasites!"
"Dun dun duuuuuun! Blake has a PTSD attack and to make matters worse, the X-Parasites are set loose and overwhelm SPBRR. It looks like the end for Blake…but then WARCY swoops in and saves Blake! Unfortunately, the rescue mission takes longer because they learn about Rosalina's powers being stolen. How does Weiss take this?"
"...Son of a BITCH!"
"Language!"
"Thank you Captain America!" Deadpool chuckled.
"Indeed! So they go around, get more of Samus's powers, Yang mentions that she fought Akuma at one point, Ruby's Phazon powers go awry and makes a Ruby simp rename Nanny Boy's name to Mud-"
"Hey!"
"-and soon enough, they fight Raven Beak… well, actually, the SA-X tries to fight them but it doesn't exactly go so well in her favor. And then they fight Raven Beak… and while this is going on, Viridi nukes the hell out of Mountain Glenn! And while she's doing that, Rosalina is getting her butt handed to her by Raven Beak! However, Samus puts a stop to this and goes full on Metroid on his butt! How does he fare?"
"Anna… Anna onsto plotono mista atta hera kestiki Mathroid…" (I… I only wanted to create the most powerful Metroid…)
"Atta denutroika." (You succeeded.)
"KO!"
"See kids? This is what happens when you decide to gloat in front of a powerful Bounty Hunter. You get God of War'd!" Hades smirked. "Buuuuut, an X-Parasite manages to revive Raven Beak, but it only ends up destroyed anyway! And then they flee from an exploding ZDR… only to hear that the Galactic Federation invades Popstar! That never goes well for invaders… but anyway, once Samus learns what happens, she has enough and decides to take matters into her own hands!"
"But first! Laxus meets with his descendant and Seryu sets off to Mushroom City to settle the score with Jacques! She almost gets away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling bullet proof window!"
"It's not Bob-omb and Bullet Bill proof though~!" Hades grinned. "Oh yeah, and at one point, Willow managed to trick Jacques into giving him Seryu's file. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here!"
SPBRR: Promised Day
"Behold! The final chapter of the Metroid Arc! How does this play out? Well… apparently Mukuro makes a mess of things way before SPBRR, WARCY, the Strike Team and Samus's fellow bounty hunters show up to make a mess of things of their own. They storm into the base and proceed to wreak havoc into everything! Weiss and Mukuro pull a Yang, Samus destroys her old ship, Penny has cybernetic blood on her hands, Bradley makes his only appearance in this series… like… really… I'm surprised he didn't show up long before. Oh wait, he does make one appearance when he finds Cave and Chell, but that's about it. And what happens? Pretty much cripples Samus by severing her spinal cord! So wait, Ridley doesn't do it yet a homonculus powered human is the one that does the deed? RIDLEY doesn't do this?! A HUMAN?! …Boy, Ridley's probably upset that he didn't do it! I'm sure that Ridley simp isn't too thrilled that Ridley didn't cripple Samus either! Goodness me, Nanny Boy, you sure like to make a lot of enemies!"
"Zip it…"
"You make it too easy!" Hades grinned. "Anywho, Bradley's defeated and the Galactic Federation is no more! …Well, for like five minutes until Mustang revives it as a Neo Galactic Federation. Talk about anti-climactic… I wanted to see galactic chaos! Oh well, I'll just turn on Star Wars after this." He smiled. "Anyway, Samus gets braces for her legs, Ridley taunts her only he gets some of his life absorbed by her Metroid powers, Mukuro reunites with Junko aaaaand… oh my… the Mushroom City jail gets blown up! Who could've done such a thing? Was it Jacques who did it? …It was definitely Jacques' fault, wasn't it?"
End BGM
"Yup, because Seryu blows it up!" Deadpool said. "She's on the war path now! I wouldn't want to get in her way, that's for sure."
"Indeed, especially considering she shoots him down!"
"What do you get when you cross a mentally ill Faunus in a society THAT ABANDONS HER AND TREATS HER LIKE TRASH! I'll tell you what you get… YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!"
"Hey, wait a minute, did Seryu peek into the recap and spotted that Joker reference I made when Damian died for good?" Hades asked suspiciously. "Because if she did… she's got good taste~! Anyway, Seryu laughs that she finally killed him for good, but then starts crying uncontrollably when she realizes Umber was right. She felt empty and flees the scene."
"Truly sad… soooo, anything happening in between?"
"Not that I'm aware of… let's go!"
RWBY: A Ubiquitous End
"Funny how RWBY is in the title and the main four are practically non-existent in it!" Hades grinned. "Anywho, everyone's on the look out for Seryu. Sheele, the Winter Ops, Kyoko… okay, not everyone, but even then, Seryu's spiraling further and further down the rabbit hole until she climbs a tree and pulls out a signal that Sheele instantly recognizes!"
"And it's a happy reunion for the both of them… or at least, that's what we thought would happen…"
"I can't go back. After all I've done… I've nearly killed the Schnee boy who became a hip hop sensation, I almost killed his sister in the arctic, I've sided with Adam… these voices in my head won't shut up… I've done all these terrible things…. I'm tired, Sheele. I've lost all hope. I… I've got nothing else to lose."
"MAAAAX! Help me… I'm… FEELING!"
"Literally me because I thought I'd watch an evil Seryu die in this fic but that backstory… gah, that backstory!" Deadpool groaned. "IT'S SO BEAUTIFULLY SAD!" He cried as anime tears burst out of his eyes.
"Indeed… this one shot was definitely an emotional gut punch. A despicable character in one show, a character who you want to root for in this one. Truly… Nanny boy doesn't hold back on emotional scenes. So when Seryu and Sheele fight, the former accidentally cuts off her other arm and she is brought to prison for questioning by Kyoko. She is then put on trial…"
"We find the defendant, Seryu Ubiquitous… guilty."
"Very well… Seryu Ubiquitous, after everything you've done, I see no reason to let you live. Henceforth, my sentence is the death penalty. The electric chair will be your demise… is what I would say."
"Huh…?"
"Egad! She's having a second chance! Our precious dog is getting a second chance! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH!" Deadpool cheered.
Audience: HALLELUJAH!
"I don't do "hallelujah's"." Hades said. "But, I can't help but be happy for the girl! Our girl gets treatment, the voices in her head disappear and all is right with the world! Well… until we get to the next story. And not only that, but Dark Ruby is getting quite active with her sudden new Grimm Powers."
"You have to have some serious balls in order to convince her to get back on top!" Deadpool said. "Ain't that right, Dimentio? …Oh… she just gave you an impromptu vasectomy. I'm amazed he survived that!"
"I think he got more than just a vasectomy, I don't think he has his equipment anymore!" Hades grinned cheekily.
Deadpool laughed. "Nice one!"
"So anyway, Sheele and Seryu find Sea5ons and Seryu makes amends with Kokoro! So anyway, on to the next story!"
RWBY: Fell Star Strikers
"RWBY: Fell Star Strikers? More like Fire Emblem: Fell Star Strikers because Ruby and Yang are more in a supporting role in this story! Not to mention Blake and Weiss aren't in this one!" Hades mocked. "How can it be called RWBY if half the squad isn't there? Nanny Boy, you're slipping~!"
"Haven't heard that one before…"
"Hahahaha! Anywho, Ruby gets a sense of dread and talks with Byleth about it while Sheele and Seryu are also there while Yang is visiting just to see Claude. Really, I think this story should've been RSSY: Fell Star Strikers… or SRYS: Fell Star Strikers."
"...What's SRYS?" Nan wondered.
"Serious!"
"...You don't get Y in serious!"
"You don't get two F's in Lakefront either!"
"Touche…"
"Anyway, the Phantom Thieves arrive and they proceed to go into the Holy Tomb… and then trouble starts brewing because Edelgard, uh, I mean, the Flame Emperor attacks everyone! But Byleth and Bereto put a stop to her and discover that the Flame Emperor is actually… gasp! Edelgard!"
"IS THIS SOME KIND OF TWISTED JOKE?!"
"Oh yeah, Dimitri starts going insane, Thales arrives and kidnaps Sothis and knocks down Byleth. Yup! Byleth goes through the wringer in this story! Seryu and Umber reunite with a hug, the Fire Emblem cast arrives… uh oh… too much Fire Emblem in this story. The cast just got bloated again! Quick, someone make sure that particular Guest Reviewer isn't seething from too many characters!"
"Too late!" Deadpool said.
"Eh, he'll get over it!" Hades chuckled. "Anyway, one team goes to Those Who Slither's HQ, Byleth and Edelgard fight, but the latter catches on to her powers and easily knocks her down and they blow everyone out the door after capturing Byleth. Weird… they had Mega Man with them too. Anyway, the second half defends Garreg Mach but Thales easily breaks through, knocks down Alm and Celica and knocks down Rhea! With their tails between their legs, the A team heads back to Garreg Mach where Edelgard goes after them to try and talk to everyone. Dimitri isn't having any of it, but Seryu attempts to calm him down with words… and when that didn't work, Chrom calms him down with his fists!"
"Yeah, and Edelgard talks some sense into him when she reveals her Maiden Powers!" Deadpool said. "Surpriiiiise, she's the new Summer Maiden!"
"After it was revealed that the Flame Emperor wasn't responsible, Dimitri buries the hatchet and they all storm off to Those Who Slither… and good timing too, turns out Thales was busy mentally torturing Byleth. But thanks to Team Fire Emblem, Rhea is knocked down, the three houses and Ruby go in to save Byleth and it's revealed that Sothis was in control this entire time and Edelgard was in on it!"
"However, they didn't foresee Nemesis being awakened so they have to wing it! Nora and Hilda buy them time until his friends die, then Byleth and Nemesis engage in battle! …And Nemesis almost kills her, but her friends join her and put a stop to him. Oh look, the Chaos Emerald that Anthony gave Anna shows back up and Byleth powers up, killing Nemesis for good!"
"Yes, but Byleth collapses. Luckily, she wakes up and next thing she knows, Sothis and Rhea make amends and Ruby straight up adopts her in the family. What do they do? They proceed to go to Delfino to celebrate and Dorothea proposes to Byleth! Then Byleth bonds with Summer, she then goes to Ozpin after coming back from Delfino to get some cheering up, he then tasks Edelgard to go find the Sword of Destruction and their home turns into a five star hotel when Rosalina's home merges with the home! …Oh, and Raven reunites with Vernal's Nobody named Maia, who becomes part of the family too!"
"And now… for everyone's favorite story because we all know what happens in it!" Deadpool grinned.
"Yes! Give it up for… the Paper Universe!"
"Yeah, the Paper Unive-... wait, what?"
"Hey, Paper Hades. How's it going over there?"
"Oh, absolutely wonderful! We got rid of that pesky Sticker Star and Chaos Ruby is spiraling out of control again! Oh, and she burns Flipside to the ground after she learns more of the prophecy at the end. Typical chaos on my end! I love it!"
"You just love it because Sticker Star's not an issue anymore!"
"Suck it, Kersti! No one likes you!"
"Indeed! Now then… on to the main event!"
BGM: Overworld (Super Mario 3D Land)
Super RWBY 3D Land
"So! Peach has gone missing and everyone assumes Bowser did it! Daisy suggests going the long way to make Bowser dread their arrival and so a huge team goes to put a stop to Bowser! …Uh oh… a team that could potentially be bloated? Someone call the Army! We got too many characters here as far as that guest reviewer is concerned! But not to worry… it's not like the cast doubles or triples in length or anything!"
Hades smirked devilishly. "Oh dear, I might have jinxed it~"
"Hahahaha, oh you!"
"Indeed! The group heads off to the eight worlds. Cloud gets humiliated, Ghirahim taunts Ruby, shenanigans happen, everyone's favorite cute armadillo, Oran, shows up, all of that fun stuff… but apparently, Grimm creatures are popping up everywhere. What could this mean, I wonder? It's probably nothing, but they're getting more and more dangerous! At one point, Luigi and Chiaki get suspicious and they leave the group for a while to check things out. Carmen shows up, Dark Ruby is breathing down Ruby's neck as everyone forms a circle around her, Dimentio continues to be Dimentio, Edelgard arrives in Vacuo and takes the Sword of Destruct and bisects Tyrian in half, the group fights Kazuya with daddy issues and Akuma shows up… ya know, standard stuff for these heroes!"
"Luigi and Chiaki arrive in a Grimm world and they face Grimm Ruby head on, and they get ambushed hard after Chiaki alerts her robot companion, BB-8, and sends him off to warn everyone. They are then sent off where Grimm Peach tortures the two of them… yeesh…" Deadpool shuddered.
"Yeah, what is this… Kingdom Hearts: A New Age of Darkness? Pffft, I thought that was obsolete!" Hades chuckled. "Anyway, they find out that Bowser was innocent and Grimm Ruby reunites with Ruby, messes around with Byleth, and kidnaps Ruby! Oh no! Ruby is out of the picture for a while! Surely, the Ruby Simp will understand! …Oh, no, wait, he's currently screaming at Nanny Boy for daring to put his beloved waifu out of the picture for a while. Seriously. Touch some grass for once. And I don't mean artificial grass!"
"Dark Pit gets captured too! And then it's revealed that Between Worlds Zelda kidnapped Peach just to get away from the snowstorm! And then Medusa shows up and causes the infamous Red Sky incident! And oh no, the cast is doubling! Tripling even! Even the Ashen Wolves and Shez are here now! Quick, get that guest reviewer to the ER because I'm imagining he's having a heart attack over the size of this cast!"
"Not to worry, it's not like Edelgard and Hubert will show up-... oh… they showed up. Wah wah!" Hades grinned. "So anyway, Team B is off to help Team A and most of Team B wants to save Chiaki from death… don't worry, Ibuki took care of that! And then… everyone goes through the wringer! Summer! Byleth! Shez's state of mind when Byleth easily defeats her! Umber's sanity over his nightmare! Grimm Samus when Samus beats the living hell out of her! …Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here."
"Yes, you are! Because they save Ruby when Dark Ruby is busy torturing her! …Apparently, she has a conversation with Chaos Ruby to bide her time and it seems like Ruby's getting through to her… uuuuntil she dies in her arms and Chaos Ruby goes into a mental breakdown! Hooray, more trauma for the poor girl!"
"Ruby's back alive, Umber gets himself a Keyblade… buuuut some Grimm Liquid gets in Ruby's eyes and makes her hallucinate, forcing her to get healed up as Summer goes with her! …I wonder how the Ruby simp took it since Ruby was out for the remainder of the adventure?"
"Let's see here…" Deadpool pulled out a list.
Being a Ruby Simp Starter Pack
Ruby Body Pillow
Pom Poms
Cheerleader outfit
Yelling and Breathing Down Anyone's Neck for Taking Her Out of the Story
Continue to be a broken record
"I'm afraid it's no good, Doc. There's no cure for this kind of simp-atry! I'm afraid touching grass won't work for this one!"
"I suppose all is lost for this one…" Hades mused. "Aaanywho! Ruby is off for some self care, Marnie has a chat with Umber over her own mental health, Shez chews out Byleth, not to mention Bereto's having some resentment for his sister, they tear down Grimm WBY, Grimm Bowser gets his ass walloped by an angry Scottish Groudon… and then the main event, the whole cast clobbers the hell out of Dark Ruby! But just when she turns things around and tries to slaughter WBY… they appear! Ruby and Summer come to save the day!"
End BGM
"Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUMBLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!"
"We got ourselves a CATFIGHT!" Deadpool exclaimed. "And it's a glorious one! Two Rubys! Two Summers! One Hound! Who reigns supreme! …Well, we already know the answer to that one."
"In a tough as hell fight, Grimm Ruby destroys her weapons and her arm! It looks like the end… but Summer manages to save her daughter as they both use their silver eyes to destroy the darkness… and bring her back to Dark Ruby. Just when you think she has Summer on the ropes, Ruby swoops in with her Phazon AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND…!"
"I… won't die… I… won't… die… I WON'T DIE! RUUUUUUUUBYYYYYY!"
"She becomes one with Phazon! Good riddance!" Hades smirked. "Cue the music!"
BGM: Naboo Parade Finale (Star Wars)
"We're finally free of that menace! Wahoo!" Deadpool brought out a party popper and pulled the string. "Woo! Freedooooom!"
"And she's resting comfortably in the Underworld! Truly, she's burning for the rest of her afterlife! Hahahaha! And Pandora comes back, the red sky is vanquished, spring has arrived, Chelsea's best assassin mama joins the cast, Ruby talks some sense into Chaos Ruby, Tatsumi gets his descendant's Zodiac Keys, Ruby gets a new arm despite her hip being a little shattered, Shez and Dark Pit are in Bowser's army, Byleth and Bereto make up, Weiss's Manaphy egg hatches, everything's right with the world!"
"Wesa free!"
"Freedom indeed! They even throw a party for Ruby after everything she's been through in Sarasaland! …Also Chelsea and Cardin finally kiss, Kokoro becomes Chelsea's official sister, JINXY and MAJC have their Strikers runback, aaaaand… oh boy, it seems Shantae is inviting Ruby for a vacation! Girl needs one… what could possibly go wrong?"
End BGM
BGM: Lake Lapcat
RWBY and the Seven Sirens
"Oh wait… Cuphead's Devil could come for her soul after he catches wind that she's crippled! But not to worry, Summer and the family come to save her, and so does JINXY, Umber, and even Sheele and Seryu! Apparently, Ruby's in trouble with her family… what for? Apparently, she got nightmares from her Zinogre form after she strangled Yang! However… during the vacation, Ruby slowly but surely makes up with everyone, Seryu helps Ruby rebuild her destroyed weapons… the Devil tries and tries again to take Ruby's soul, but Cuphead and Co aren't having it!"
"Not only that, but Hat Kid's friend Mustache Girl fights her alongside Empress! …And they take a vacation for a good chunk of the story until they show up again." Deadpool rubbed his head. "Yeah, I don't get it either."
"Nanny boy… care to explain?"
"Uh… I dunno!"
"Good enough!" Hades grinned. "Anyway, we also get a mermaid catfish fight between the Giga Mermaid and Mugman's supposed girlfriend… seriously, Mugsy, you could do so much better than Cala Maria. And you do! You score a better girlfriend! But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. For you see… The Devil manages to take Ruby's soul, but Oran bats him away… so he steals Oran and Kala's souls instead!"
Deadpool gasped. "How DARE you steal best armadillo boy's soul! And his monkey mama's soul too!"
"Yes indeed! Ruby goes to confront the Devil, goes into a new Rose Zinogre form and if the Boss Title didn't tell you how screwed he was, well… he was screwed! And then the Empress Siren shows up, and thanks to her backstory, we can sympathize with her, but she still needs to get taken down! However, Ruby's medicine wears off and she can't participate in the final battle, so everyone manages to take her down in her stead!"
"And get this! While this was going on in the island, Dimentio pushes it too far and Chiaki actually steals his chaos powers! Now he's a bump on a log while Chiaki is now the Ultimate Gamer of Chaos! Or… something along those lines."
Hades grinned. "Indeed. And reading those reviews right after that? I enjoyed the salt~!" He smirked. "Luckily, this was solved when Chiaki spent a whole year training with her chaos powers, giving her a whole new look to boot!"
"And then… we have ourselves our first wedding in the SRS after Ruby's hip is replaced by an elephant hip by Medic and Tai proposes to Rosalina! Byleth and Dorothea? You may kiss the bride! …After Byleth's chest gets free from the tuxedo."
"So they go on their honeymoon and Coco suggests Velvet go on a vacation to get her mind off things! Over a Deviljho. And it's not even considered a god, what the heck? Oh well!"
Velvet's Illumina Vacation
"Nothing really goes on here, just Velvet enjoying herself and relinquishing her love to Coco while Loid is busy saving Anya and Bond from the Atlesian labs. Should've saved the rest of them… wouldn't want to make Esdeath angry! …Oh wait. She did. And I'm here for the carnage!"
"She doesn't really do anything in her anger, though."
"Eh… close enough! But wait… there seems to be something sinister floating around. Someone is trying to break the bond between humans and Pokemon! The horror!"
End BGM
RWBY: The Hisuian Legend
"So what do you get when the doorbell rings and God is standing on the other side? You get sent to an adventure and you're thrown into a Pop Culture Tunnel!"
"And I make my first appearance!" Deadpool grinned. "Cable and I were going around different universes to make sure Apocalypse doesn't try anything funny!"
"Indeed! So while RWBY and the entire family, some of the Galarians, Cynthia, Steven, N, Coco and Velvet go to Hisui… wait, this is a large cast! Oh no! Call the Air Force! We're having another bloated cast! We're about to have some Guest reviewer complain about the large group! Hahahaha… oh, it never gets old to make fun of this guy."
"And speaking of large groups, how about that group in the New World!"
"Ah yes, that group! I'm sure our Guest Reviewer was probably screaming in frustration!" Hades grinned. "We'll get to them soon! For now, we set our sights on Hisui where everyone goes and figures out who's responsible for the destruction of humanity and Pokemon. The answer's obvious, though. It's Ghetsis! Yes, our boy Ghetsis is back and he's got himself a Darkrai after tearing his hair out in jail! And it looks like Byleth got a healthy dose of nightmares!"
"And a mention of the multiverse!" Deadpool added.
"Ooooh yes, we'll get to that!" Hades smiled. "So anyway, everyone goes around to try and stop Ghetsis from destroying the balance, they even meet Umber's ancestor at one point! I'm surprised they didn't meet Gloria and Victor or Marnie's ancestors… but then things quickly go south when Kleavor gets captured, Summer gets a healthy dose of Spiritomb possession and even Lilligant gets captured! But not to worry, Melli gets his just desserts for being such an asshole!"
"Yup! And then they go to the arctic where they soon find out that Ghetsis beat them to the punch and turned Avalugg into a machine! However, Nora's Tinkatuff evolves and clobbers the machinery with ease!"
"Score one for the super tough pink… gremlin… thing. She's not much of a puffball…" Hades rubbed his head. "But then, Oran gets captured by Team Plasma and then Colress arrives with Lucario, Incineroar and Greninja… only for all of them to get kicked out because Kamado got too paranoid all because of… a Star Rift."
"But what's this? Apparently Ruby's having health problems. It looks like she can barely stand! Apparently this is what happens when you give her an elephant hip! She bellows like an elephant and almost dies!"
"But how did this happen? Let's take a look at the other story."
JINXY and the Forgotten Land
"So Umber gets himself caught in a pickle. He heads off to Dreamland to hang out with Dedede and he disappears after that, worrying his girlfriends! So JINXY, Mewtwo, the TF2 Mercs, Dante, Vergil, the Phantom Thieves, the Thunder Legion go to Dreamland, walking in on a double date with four Ultimates… and they get swallowed up by a Star Rift!"
"Uh oh… looks like we have too big of a cast again! The guest reviewer's ultimate kryptonite! Oh no! The absolute horror! …Anyway." Hades smirked. "Xena and Yagami get separated, but they reunite way too fast, and they end up at Waddle Dee Town, unaware of Team LAFF and Logue following them! Then Reimu, Kasen, Bandana Dee, Penny, SAPR and the Star Allies join the cast!"
"Uh oh… the cast doubled! It's not like they split up to give everyone even footing or anything. Oh no, according to that one reviewer, it's too much for him to handle such a large group!"
"Ah, let him seethe. He can't do anything!" Hades chuckled. "So anywho, they go around the different areas with a fellow named Elfilin, Chiaki's suspicious of him and soon enough, they find out that he's just a small personality compared to a larger guy! He's innocent! Chiaki feels terrible… and this one guest reviewer absolutely comes out of nowhere and breathes down Nanny Boy's neck because… "It would've been better if they didn't know right away"."
Hades laughed. "Oh, how dare people ask Meta Knight questions! How dare they get suspicious! How dare Meta Knight give them a proper answer! What, you thought it would be more realistic if they didn't ask a thing or Meta Knight kept his mouth shut? How dare!"
"How dare indeed!" Deadpool chimed in.
Hades shook his head. "Y'all make this too easy. Anyway, they fight Esdeath, they eventually find Umber after the first time they fought, it was a clone… they fight Umber and Dedede, then Umber quickly betrays him and proceeds to reveal his summons that Namine gave him! The TMNT arrive! …Oh, and so do Jack Skellington and Dr. Strange. Elfilin is captured and Chiaki gets depressed!"
"Luckily, her fellow Ultimates cheer her up… but that can't be said for Lunartics since they chew him out for what he did. But they make up right after. Huh… so much for being in the dog house."
"As for what happens next, well, Fecto pulls a fast one on them after Sillydillo and the Nameless were defeated and reveals that the twins were under his control this entire time!"
"Umber, Umber, Umber… no good deed goes unpunished. You'll thank me later!"
"And booooy, does Umber get pissed. He's not going to take this lightly as they storm through the Redgar Forbidden Lands, get Ridley and Heatran on their side, free the girls, and proceed to fight Leongar alongside a possessed Mipha and Revali! Then Umber sics Bowser on Fecto… who captures Elfilin again, infuriating Chiaki and proceeds to wipe the floor with Fecto Forgo… and then we get a hell of a fight between Shadow and Elfilis!"
"Indeed! And then Elfilis tries to bring all the worlds together to wipe them out! But Kirby has other ideas and Reverse Isekai's him into oblivion! Buuuuut they find out Leon's still out there so they go and save him."
"And I come back and join the party!" Deadpool added.
"Indeed! And then Esdeath and Umber fight their phantom selves, the twins go through the wringer and then eventually destroy their phantom selves, and Dr. Strange tries to bargain with Fecto after knocking Leon out. However, Morpho Knight shows up and declares vengeance on those who cheated him after he kills Ridley …Which, honestly, that's a petty way of looking at it. Seriously…"
"So true, but Kyoko knocks some sense into him and he concedes as they go and destroy Chaos Elfilis in a beautiful fight between Super Shadow and Chaos Elfilis! Palkia deals the final blow though but it's still pretty!"
"And then Galacta Knight leaves us after apologizing to Penny. And then they head back home, Dedede snatches Umber in a custody battle… and Medic and Strange reveals that Ruby is running out of time to Mikan, who pretty much hits the roof and they storm on over to Hisui!"
"And while they go to Hisui, Kyoko sends everyone out to find the majority of the V3 cast. Everyone's here at this point!" Deadpool said.
"Indeed… so let's go back to Hisui!"
Back in Hisui…
"So let's see… ah, I see the Ruby Simp is breathing down Nanny Boy's neck again because how dare his waifu is on her death bed! Take your anger out on Medic, not the author!" Hades rolled his eyes. "Anywho, they find Cogita and she takes care of Ruby while everyone else goes to get the Lake Pokemon, while also discovering that Diamond and Pearl clans buried the hatchet and became Team Platinum! And then Mikan, Strange and Medic arrive and tells them why they're there. Summer pretty much blows a gasket and nearly kills Medic but concedes as Strange puts a hold on Ruby's death as she's perked back up and proceeds to go to the final battle! …Only for Dialga to make a mess of things because heaven forbid we do anything fun in time traveling, am I right? Pffft…"
"Luckily, they were able to tame Dialga and N tries to reason with Giratina after Cynthia pummels her ancestor to the ground! However… Ghetsis shoots him! And he takes Giratina to Arceus's domain! It's the final battle!"
"A very tame final battle compared to what SRS is used to, but hey, if it means Ghetsis losing his cool over to Rosa and Nate showing up, then I'm content. Anti-climactic for one individual, but a fitting send off for Ghetsis in my humble chaotic opinion! Oh, and thanks to Raven and Maia's shenanigans, Oran pulls a fast one on Ghetsis too!" Hades grinned. "So suck on that, Ghetsis! Arceus calls you a peasant and you're back to a shell of your former self!"
"Indeed! Then after that, Ruby gets treated and her hips are back to normal! …And an added two hundred and twenty years to her life too, so bonus!"
"Yup, but… Summer's time is almost done. And as much as I want to joke about it, even I don't want to ruin the beautiful moment of Ruby and Summer parting after Tai and Rosalina's wedding. Even I have standards, thank you very much!"
Deadpool saluted. "It's been an honor, Summer! Farewell, you beautiful soul!" He sniffled. "No, I'm not crying… you're crying!"
"After that, Aoi Asahina finds Ryoma, Chiaki continues to lose her mind over Remnant's versions of game consoles and video games, not to mention the requirement to truly complete Crash 4… aaaand Ruby gets sucked into another universe to deal with another universe's problems!"
"And then Ghirahim makes his move with Wizzro and puts Young Link in the hospital!" Deadpool said.
ATMC: Skyward Sword
"I mean, this story just barely started so we don't have to recap it all yet." Hades said. "Although, that one guest reviewer continues to breathe down Nanny Boy's neck for a large cast in this story!"
CFVY: Rise of the Mammalians
"This story barely started too, and yet that same Guest reviewer refuses to leave Nan alone and constantly reminds him "7.8 out of 10. Too many characters for me to firmly grasp for my wee brain!"." Deadpool snarked.
"So technically, we're done… buuuuut let's recap What If while we're at it! Narrator Hades, if you please!"
Meanwhile, in the Multiverse
"I was wondering when it'd be my cue! Thanks, you handsome rogue! Anywho, let's get on to the recap for each of the universes we covered so far!
What If Summer Never Died?
"A relatively safe start to this What If universe, if I'm being honest. Buuuut Weiss's team gets an unfortunate name! WYBP! Whip it good!" Hades laughed. "Oh, and since Ruby's on the sidelines, I believe that Ruby simp got on Nanny Boy's case over Ruby doing nothing. For shame… there's some nice grass to touch over here."
Someone Else Found Esdeath?
Salem finds Esdeath and it's hell on earth for everyone! Esdeath turns on her master and sends her to outer space! She even becomes the Winter Maiden… only Akame puts a stop to her and she becomes the Winter Maiden instead! Aww, I was hoping Esdeath would've made everyone extinct… ooooh well!"
Dark Ruby Was Killed Differently?
"Oh hi, Dark Ruby. I hope you like being the butt monkey now! Everyone's out to kill ya now! Hope you enjoy being the punching bag!"
Ridley Killed Samus?
"Oh no! Ridley killed Samus! That bites him in the butt because Chell takes over and becomes an even better Bounty Hunter! …So you mean to tell me if Samus actually killed Ridley all those years later, half of her problems would've been eliminated?"
*The Price is Right Losing Horn Sound Effect*
"Tsk tsk! I'm starting to wonder if Samus is secretly a masochist…"
Someone Else Found Ruby?
Ganondorf gets a hold of Ruby and brings despair for everyone! Even that Ruby Simp is like "I will not let an evil Ruby happen on my watch!" Buddy. Bud. You have no power here! Sit your ass down and smell the grass! Anywho, Ruby becomes Sapphire Onyx and proceeds to make everyone's lives a living hell? Who will stop her? …Well, we'll get back to that one later."
Ruby and Pit Met Differently?
"A lot of people find this cute, I find this boring… nothing interesting happens here except for circumstances! Although Dark Ruby doesn't exist and Ruby's a lot happier in this one so I guess this checks out!"
Junko Won?
"It's a good thing Chiaki won the fight in the main universe because Junko brings despair to a whole new level! She even makes Ruby and Chiaki despair to the point where when they're brought back to sanity, Chiaki's too traumatized to even speak anymore! Ruby's the Spring Maiden in this universe, Summer comes back alive, Komaru and Toko bring Mukuro over and she becomes the Fall Maiden after executing Junko."
Hades smirked. "There's just one question though. Does Summer and Rosalina become an item in this universe? Considering she casually said "other mom" to Ruby, I can imagine those two got together and got hitched. Although, use your imagination on this one!"
Friends With an X-Parasite?
"What happens when the SA-X infects Blake? …She becomes a split personality and becomes a sister, that's what! Although it does get to the point where Blake becomes an eldritch abomination and absorbs everything on sight to her heart's content. But hey, it's chaos. I'm all for it!"
Ibuki in the Fog?
"Oh hey Sonia, mind if Ibuki gains control for a while? Thank you! Ibuki becomes the Ultimate Despair here, reunites with Chiaki and they both get out! Happy days!"
Ruby Became a Reaper?
"Castlevania Death comes to Ruby and helps her out… and unlike Sapphire Onyx, she becomes Reaper Rose who becomes too engrossed in her job that she doesn't have time for anyone else. She's still rather friendly to everyone though, that should be a good thing! And hey, Dark Ruby, Damian and the Devil get humiliated here, so that's even better!"
Fought in Reach?
"Just a tale of what happens when RWBY is placed on Reach. What happens here? Well, if you know the story of Reach, you can pretty much tell how it goes. Ruby goes out in a blaze of glory though! Is the Ruby simp satisfied that his beloved waifu goes out swinging? Probably not, she still dies and he's probably wanting to smack Nanny Boy upside the head!"
Weiss Taken to Menagerie?
"So what happens when Willow takes Weiss away from Jacques? Weiss has a better life, Adam actually has a personality and Jacques spirals into madness! He dies the same way Clayton did! Truly a fitting end to the man… though personally, I liked Seryu's execution better."
Ruby Fought Sapphire?
"Oh shoot, are we at the last one already? Anyway, I bring Ruby into Sapphire's universe, she handles it as well as you'd expect because she's the universe's chew toy and explodes, she fights Sapphire while Weiss and Co fight Ganondorf, only for Hilda to swipe the Fierce Deity Mask! Sorry Weiss, your Fierce Deity powers are in another universe! Sapphire is defeated rather easily because she never honed her powers compared to Ruby, Sapphire leaves, Ruby actually gets closure from her mother from another universe… and she's brought back to her universe while another Zelda timeline appears!"
He let out a chuckle. "That's all from me. See you then!"
Back in the Main Universe
"Thank you, you handsome rogue! Now then, let's wrap this up, shall we? Will Ghirahim continue his smart conquest? Will Ikura and Ribbon ever get along? Will Dimentio become Maleficent's punching bag? Will Nanny Boy get a break from those Guest reviewers breathing down his neck? And will Gaiden ever surpass A New Age of Darknesses' word count? Friendly reminder that New Age of Darkness has one million, one hundred and seventy three thousand and eighty three words while Gaiden is sitting pretty seven hundred and sixty one thousand, hundred and six words!"
"And… crunching these numbers, according to this calculator, we have three hundred and fifty five thousand and nine hundred and seventy seven more words to go! Although when this chapter loads up, it's gonna be lower… not sure where it's gonna end up though!" Deadpool said.
"One thing's for sure though, it's gonna surpass Chibi's chapter count real soon!"
"Yes, indeed!" Deadpool agreed.
"Anyway, this is Hades, the God of the Underworld-"
"And this is Deadpool!"
"And this is us… signing out! Until next time!"
Hades and Deadpool walked away while Ibuki strapped a pillow behind Nan's neck.
"...Ibuki, what are you doing?"
"Protecting your neck from those mouth breathers!"
"But the front of my neck is still exposed!"
"Ooooh, right… Ibuki'll go get another one!" She ran off.
He sighed, chuckling. "Knucklehead…"
Oh, look at that, that explains it. It's make fun of Nan day... and... the day after that, the day after that... DARN IT, HADES!
Deadpool: What can I say? He's a charmer!
Ibuki: Hey, Ibuki found another pillow for ya!
Anyway, hope the people who were poked fun at have a sense of humor... otherwise, it's gonna get awkward real quick... *straps the pillow to my chin*
Ibuki: Perfect! You look so... so...!
Stupid.
Deadpool: Well, of course he looks stupid. The sides of his neck are exposed!
Ibuki: Ooooh, she'll go see if she can find a scarf!
You couldn't have done that earlier?!