Newly Revised

Sorry it took a little longer. Extenuating circumstances kept me away from my comp for a while.

He'd watched Rick until he couldn't see him anymore, holding his poncho and pillow close and hoping they were going to Ani since there really wasn't any other reason to grab those two specific items. Daryl didn't know how she was doing after their failed attempt at escape the day before, and he'd been given the silent treatment by Dwight when he attempted to ask. When Rick asked if Daryl could stay, he was grateful, but he had to know there was no way he would leave the Sanctuary without Ani. It was bad enough that so many people had gone missing from Alexandria, along with the kittens, with no clue as to where they went. The fact that Maggie was dead because of his actions had Daryl blaming himself so much more than he had at just Glenn's death. Knowing all three Rhees had died by his hand, his choices being the direct cause of their deaths, weighed him down even more than failing at protecting Ani from her parents. The truck slowed as they got closer to the factory the Saviors called home and Daryl braced himself for whatever was going to happen next as the men began to unload from their vehicles. Dwight came around and yanked him down out of the truck, causing him to stumble as Negan walked up and all but yanking his poncho and pillow out of his hands. All Daryl could do was stand there scowling at the man, knowing that if he tried to do anything, it was only going to make things worse for both him and Ani.

"You know, I think I'm gonna go have a little fun with little Ani. I just love our little chats," he said with a smirk, Daryl's eyes snapping up to him. "I can tell you, she is just adorable. And the way she moves. Hell, I can see why you're hung up on her."

"Stay the hell away from 'er!" Daryl growled out as he started to pull against Dwight.

"Careful," Negan told him with a smile. "Don't want her to pay for your mistakes, now do you?"

While Daryl kept a slight pull against Dwight's hold, Negan chuckled and walked away before he was forced back to his cell, although he put up some resistance the entire way. The fact that Negan had insinuated that he'd seen more of Ani than he was comfortable with had him wanting to break the hold on him and deck the man in the face. A part of him was scared about what Ani had said to Negan to make him enjoy talking to her and what the man meant by her moves. What if she was being threatened to do something against her will because of him or, worse, her parents? What did he mean by saying he could tell why Daryl was so attached to his wife? What exactly had she been talking to him about and what had she told him about their relationship? Was she cracking under the pressure or was she just being her usual self with the inability to keep her mouth shut when asked a question? His thoughts remained dark until he started falling asleep, for how long he didn't know, before Dwight opened the door to give him food. It was just bread this time, for which Daryl was thankful since his stomach had begun to roil at the thought of the moldy bread and dog food. He knew he needed to get enough food in his system to remain strong and it seemed like the fact that he was working with the dead seemed to, at the very least, give him better food. Dwight stood there watching him eat until he was done before shaking his head and looking at him in disgust as Daryl stared up at him in anger.

"You know he's spendin' an awful lot of time with your girl, right?" Dwight told Daryl. "Whatever you're fightin' for, whatever you think you still have left, it's gone, man. He's taken a liking to her. She already belongs to Negan."

"Ania would never."

"She's crackin' under the pressure. You never know what people will do when they crack."

"She ain't like that," Daryl told him, his thoughts continuing to spiral.

"You keep telling yourself that. Have a good night thinkin' about that. Start your new job tomorrow."

Daryl couldn't help but stare at the door after Dwight left and think about what he had said about Ani and whether or not it was true. If Ani was close to breaking, if what Dwight had said was the truth, and she did end up breaking, what would that mean for them? Would she expect him to kneel and leave him if he refused to give in? Would she actually bend her knee to Negan when she'd sworn she'd never lose herself and who she was and didn't want him to either? He wanted to believe that she was strong enough to handle whatever was happening until they could get to each other. She'd been able to go through everything they had in Atlanta and afterwards, so shouldn't the situation they were in now be easier? The darker part of his mind told Daryl that she had been with him and the group after Atlanta; alone she wouldn't fair so well. She might be able to hold out knowing they were in the same building, but he also knew that she wasn't the best at controlling her emotions under pressure. Daryl didn't want to believe for a single second that she would even consider the possibility of living under Negan's rule and did his best to push the dread down. He didn't know when he'd passed out from exhaustion, unable to sleep peacefully as dark thoughts continued to torment his mind.

When the music began again in the morning, he practically growled in frustration while clapping his hands over his ears, just wanting to stop hearing this damn song. The door opened only for Dwight to pull him out of the cell again, leading him down and out to the courtyard and handed him off to a rather rough looking woman with a military grade automatic in her hands. She had him and another person working the fence, replacing walkers that had decayed to the point of decomposition with fresh ones. It was a daunting task that had him on constant alert until gunfire rang out. He paused in what he was doing and watched on in concern as Carl of all people came out of the back of a truck with a gun in his hand demanding Negan. The boy got a few good blows in before Dwight had him pinned with the rifle pressed to his chest while Daryl did everything in his power not to go over and kill the man for even touching Carl. He didn't even blink as Negan spoke to him until the walker he was supposed to be helping place damn near grabbed a hold of him. Daryl had to duck out of the way and push another walker back before he was relatively safe from harm again, moving back to the gate as Negan made an implied threat about his predicament. It wasn't until Carl finally grabbed his hand and the man gave out any orders that Daryl finally had to take his eyes off the boy.

Dwight pulled him from behind the fence and to various places of the market and production areas to get items for Negan's snack, apparently. He was being treated like a damn slave now, forced to carry a tray of various fruits, vegetables, meats, and cheeses up to where Negan kept his wives. Carl was standing off to the side as he entered the room and did his best to make sure the boy was as fine as he could be behind enemy lines. His mind was racing with why Carl was here to begin with and if the boy had even thought to bring any back up and hadn't been stupid enough to come half-cocked, guns blazing, in a suicide mission to kill Negan. Even if he had managed to kill the man, one of the other soldiers would just take his place and things could go from ugly to down right horrific real quick. Daryl was already on edge with Ani being in that damn red room; now he had to worry about Carl making it out of the Sanctuary unharmed, too. The worst part was that, in the back of his mind, he knew Ani would do just about anything to keep Carl safe, even bend the knee, and Daryl hoped she would be kept in the dark to the fact. Negan smirked in glee as he finished kissing Sherry and walked over to Daryl, grabbing a toothpick and a piece of cheese while looking particularly smug.

"Carl, will you grab this tray for me?" he asked as Carl set a beer down and walked over to Daryl and took the tray from him.

"Why you got him here?" Daryl growled out to Negan after a quick once over the boy to make sure he wasn't hurt.

"Whoa!" Negan shouted with a scowl. "What we talk about when you're not here...is none of your business," he told him seriously before looking back at Sherry with a smile. "Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye he has. You go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop. Dwighty-boy, why don't you fire up that furnace? Time for a little Deja vu. Come on, kid."

Daryl bit his cheek as he watched the man tap Dwight's arm, removing his hold on Daryl's shirt and walked out of the room between them. Carl followed behind, still carrying the tray, moving between the two himself while Daryl followed him with his eyes. He turned back to Sherry, who just stood resolute, staring at the door with a look of regret even though she refused to look at him or Dwight. Daryl tried to stop Dwight from grabbing him again, trying to get some sort of cue from Sherry that Negan wasn't going to harm Carl, only for her to turn and walk off. Dwight yanked him from the room and dragged him down a corridor, running into Tom and Ellie who were wearing twin expressions of joy. Daryl's grimace was firmly set in place as they walked up to the pair who looked much rougher than they had in Alexandria. Unlike the sharply dressed man he had seen at first, Tom was now wearing blue jeans, a loose shirt, and a denim jacket while Ellie had traded her leggings and dress for skinny jeans and a tight-fitted t-shirt underneath a plaid button up. They looked completely different from how they had back then, almost as if they'd simply dropped the act of being up-town folks to being what they really were- trailer park trash with a sick and twisted mentality. Daryl was trying to fight against Dwight's hold as the pair gave him a once over before Ellie smiled victoriously and told her husband to tell him the good news.

"We heard we get to finally get Titania back today," Tom told him with a smile. "I finally get to correct that little mistake of yours." He leaned in close to Daryl's ear and whispered, "And I'm not just talking about the baby. That abomination will be the first to go. After that, well, it'll be slow. If she thought we were hard on her then, she has no clue as to what we can really do now. I'll start by taking off her skin, inch by slow, agonizing, painful inch. She should've never been born. Now she's going to suffer for even daring to stay alive after killing my daughter."

Daryl managed to get out of Dwight's hold long enough to try to grab Tom and punch him again, but the feel of his own crossbow right against his head stopped him in his tracks. It was pretty obvious that Dwight either didn't hear or didn't care about what had been said about Ani and the baby as the couple smiled while walking away. The fact that they were so callous as to threaten to torture her to death and remove the baby damn near had Daryl not caring if he died or not. All he wanted to do was to kill the bastard that threatened his family for the umpteenth time since he'd first even seen him. He found it ridiculous that people like that would be able to get away with all their lies, yet he wouldn't put it past Negan to be accepting of people like that. The man had beat Glenn with a dang baseball bat until his head was nothing more than a blood splatter left just because Daryl had defended his wife and child. A man who could do that would do more than just believe the lies of abusive assholes and give them what they want. He and Ani were fighting against the lies her family had woven and it was getting to be difficult to escape their web, especially when Dwight started threatening him once again.

"I won't hesitate. I told you, she belongs to Negan. He's taken a shine to her. And he'll do what he wants with her."

"They can't have her!"

"Well, that's not up to you, now is it?" Dwight said, grabbing hold of his shirt again. "Move."

They ended up back at the market, except that the market area had been relatively cleaned out of the tables and goods and, instead, everyone was standing around. A man was dragged in by two other Saviors before he was tied to a chair while Dwight lit the furnace. Daryl was given a mop and told not to move or what was about to happen to the man would happen to Ani before Dwight went back over to the furnace and carefully put something in it. Daryl couldn't quite tell what because his attention was drawn to Sherry coming in with the doctor and Tom and Ellie sauntering to the area right across from him. He scowled constantly as they smirked back at him until banging rang out from above and grabbed the attention of everyone on the floor, Daryl freezing in place as his eyes caught sight of the color amber. Negan was leading both Carl and Ani down the flight of stairs, everyone parting to make way for the trio as they moved closer to the furnace. Daryl tensed as Tom and Ellie both walked up to Negan with smiles on their faces and false words of gratitude dripping from their tongue until the man gave a sinister smile.

"I said you could see her. Wait your turn," he told them, turning back to a stony-faced Ani before looking right at Daryl and smiling. "See, both of you, safe and sound."

"Yeah," was all she said, though her eyes turned to Daryl.

She was wearing his poncho and her skinny jeans and boots with a pair of fingerless, leather riding gloves gracing her hands. His eyes tried to question hers only for her to shake her head and look down before looking over to Carl. She refused to look him in the eye after that, just looking up at him through her lashes as Negan talked away and the fear that had been building in him threatened to break through. If it weren't for the fact that she had visibly stepped away from Negan when her parents walked up to him, he might have thought she was cracking. The look on her face was one that he'd only seen when she was so anxious or distraught that she shut her emotions off so she didn't have to deal with them. She kept looking between him and Carl, the only emotion showing in her eyes being concern for the boy even though he was standing right next to her no worse for the wear. Whatever was about to happen, it was happening because Carl had decided to show up, and from the look on her face, it wasn't going to be good for her.

~x~

Ani sat in her room thinking about the dream she'd had last night, a horrific vision of the past brought into the present partially due to circumstances. Her parents had been standing over Daryl's bloody body, all the lines and scars on hers now placed on his as he bled out. Negan had been overshadowing it all with a grim but smiling expression while Laura and Regina had her on her knees with her arms held back and out, cutting off her attempt to help. She'd watched as Tom and Ellie carved and carved at him until he was practically indistinguishable from who he once had been, taking off his ears and scalping him before placing his scalp on her head and tying his ears around her neck. She'd bolted out of bed, scaring Regina who had been sleeping in a chair, and over to the sink, throwing up until all she could do was dry heave.

"Damn," Regina said as she walked over with a glass of cold water she poured from the fridge. "Haven't seen someone move that fast since TV went down."

"Nightmare."

"Yeah, they can happen when you're pregnant."

"Ya got kids?"

"Hell no! I don't want 'em, either. Too much work, too much noise, and I'm too damn old."

"Ya don' look that old," Ani said taking the water with a small thanks and heading back to sit on her bed.

"Well, you're just a sweet talker, aren't you?"

"Nah, I'm serious. Ya look like ya might only be in ya thirties like Daryl. Maybe a little olda."

Regina straight up laughed at that, "Hunny, I'm forty-five. I'm too fucking old to bother having kids."

"Damn, neva would a guessed that. Ya don' look it," Ani said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Got the time?"

"Early."

"Gee, can ya be more specific?"

Sighing heavily, Regina looked at the clock on the wall and said, "You really can't tell for yourself?"

"Uh...Pregnancy brain?" Ani offered, both shoulders going up in a prolonged shrug as she read that it was half past six. "Ya call this early?"

"You don't?"

"Hell nah! Ta hunt, ya got ta be up 'fore the light scares the crittas inta hidin'. Dusk and dawn are the prime huntin' times. Generally, the best game ya can get is active at night. So ya go huntin' at night, in the early morn 'fore the sun comes up and the late night afta the sun goes down. If ya really wantin' ta get somethin', stayin' out ova night is the best. So nah, I call this late."

"A simple no would have sufficed."

"And?"

"You like to talk, don't you?"

"When ya keep askin' me questions like that, ya got ta know I'm goin' ta talk. I don' normally do a ton a talkin' without bein' talked ta. But ya ask me questions, I'm goin' ta explain myself and say what's on my mind. Same happens if I'm tryin' ta defend myself or my family or see injustice against those who can' stand up for 'emselves."

"That poncho looks ridiculous."

"Yeah," Ani laughed, "it is pretty ugly, ain' it? But it's Daryl's. Ya think Negan will let me see 'im? Or talk ta him?"

"Sure, if you get on board already and stop beating around the bush."

"I can', Regina. I won'."

"You keep telling yourself that, but you wanna know what I think?" the woman said, leaning against the trunk at the foot of the bed and attempting to stare Ani down. "I think you're weak. I think you're scared. I think you're just putting up a front. Otherwise why am I sleeping in a damn chair instead of my bed? It's because there's not a damn thing that you can do except talk big and make assumptions. Sure, you might have the brains, might have the fancy degrees, but you ain't shit."

Ani couldn't help but laugh at her, wiping a tear from her eye as she calmed down, "Last person who told me I was weak ended up dead at my hands. First person who thought I was weak is dead at my hands too."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Chrystal Abigail Parker."

"Tom and Ellie's kid?"

"My sista. Well, maybe the third. Numba one and two prolly would be our parents."

"Yeah, I've seen your scars. You don't gotta keep going on about them."

Ani didn't answer, just nodded and laid back down. A knock on the door woke her from her dozing state before Laura entered the room with a tray of food. The smell of oatmeal had Ani tearing up, remembering every time Denny would come over first thing in the morning with a few cups of the stuff for her house. When it was placed in front of her, her stomach soured before she handed just the oatmeal back to Laura.

"I can' eat that."

"You need it. It's good for the baby."

"I can', Laura. Mornin' Denny died, she brought me oatmeal. I see that shite, I see her with a bolt through the eye."

"Yeah, that would sour any food," Laura said, handing the bowl to Regina who happily ate it up. "Still, got you some fruit, some more squirrel, that glass of milk you've been talking about."

"Don't you ever get sick of squirrel? You've had it damn near every meal," Regina pointed out.

"'M sure I will at some point. Right now, I think it's Little D that wants it more'n me. Like, honestly, I'm sick a eatin' it how ya make it 'ere. It's always made the same way. Like, ya could make it inta frittas, fry it, stew it, yet somehow it's always this," she said, holding up the charred squirrel. "Damn, I miss Daryl's cookin'."

"Daryl cooks?" Laura asked, perplexion staining her face.

"Ya'd be surprised," Ani told her with a wistful look on her face. "He'd cook dinna a couple times a week, I'd cook a few, then Merle or Phia would cook once a week. The otha meal we ate with the rest a our group and a few othas that became close. He'd clean, too, though neitha a us are the most clean a people. We end up cluttarin' up one place, clean it only ta clutta up anotha," she laughed, both the other women unable to help the small smiles on their faces as she recalled her home life with her husband; there wasn't anything like that outside of Negan and his wives at the Sanctuary. "He was always lettin' me fall asleep on 'im and then carryin' me ta bed. Lettin' me be clingy when I need ta. Always carin' for me and takin' care a me. He'd wash my hair, too. Damn near every time we showa'd, he wanted ta be the one ta wash my hair. Started when I got my scar 'cause I couldn' really see where I was washin' at first and didn' want ta get soap on it or nothin' like that. So 'e helped me and it jus' stuck. I think yestaday was the first time I've washed my own hair since I got my scar, ta be honest."

"Damn. Didn't think love like that existed," Laura told her.

Regina simply shrugged a shoulder and said, "Sounds too good to be true. Definitely won't last."

"Why ya think that?" Ani asked, thoroughly confused.

"'Casue it won't. Things like that, they don't make it. When shit hits the fan, your man will go running for the hills."

"He didn'. When it hit the fan, he didn'. He chased me down when I ran. And then 'e waited for me ta get out a my head, hurt 'imself doin' it. Is that what happened ta ya? Did ya have a guy that ran away?"

Regina gave her a hard look before turning to Laura, "Watch Shrimpy for a few while I go take a leak and have a smoke."

"Oi! I ain' a shrimp! I'm only one inch shorta than average!" Ani cried out as the woman headed to the door.

"Whatever."

Ani looked over to Laura who just shrugged her shoulders as the woman slammed the door as she left, "She doesn't talk much about herself. You wanna wash up after you eat?"

"Didn' I take a showa yestaday? Why do I need washin' up taday?"

"You talk about bugs running in close quarters, but you don't want to clean up?"

"Cleanin' too often can be jus' as bad as not cleanin'. And it's the damn apocalypse! Why showa all the time?"

"Even with Daryl?"

"A couple times a week," Ani admitted. "And that's 'cause there are otha, funna things ta do than jus' showa," she said with a smirk.

"Jeez, and here I thought Negan was active with all his wives."

"Ick. I could neva be with more'n one person."

A knock on the door stopped Laura from responding as she went over and open it, "What do you want?"

"Came to deliver this," the man, one of Tom and Ellie's friends, said, handing over an envelope. "For the kid, from her mom."

"What is it?"

"I don't know, I was just asked to give it over. Didn't want Tom to know, though, if that helps."

"Alright." Laura closed the door on the man and turned to Ani, who was looking at the envelope with a raised eyebrow, "You want it?"

Ani scowled as she looked at the thing before sighing deeply and holding out her hand, shocked at the weight of it when Laura handed it over. Opening the envelope, several pictures of people she'd never seen before resided in it, each one looking more similar to Ani than any of the Parkers. She could recognize her mother's elegant handwriting anywhere because she'd always been envious of it as her own handwriting had been compared to chicken-scratch and doctor script. She carefully flipped through the pictures, several generations of the people amidst green fields and a cottage. Ani recognized her mother as one of the younger generation and one of only a few with the dark chocolate hair she'd passed to Chrystal; the rest were varying shades of red like hers. There was a final picture, one that was taken on Polaroid, a man she recognized from family portraits as her Uncle Nicholas being front and center. She'd only ever seen pictures of him when he was younger since he'd been overseas her entire life and she'd never been allowed to talk to him. He wasn't looking at the camera, though, but rather at a little bundle in his hands in a hospital room, and a sense of dread ran through her as Ani ripped the letter open. She read it three times before she put it down, her face morphing from shock, to sadness, to anger before going blank as it fell from her hands.

"TMP,

Those pictures are from the family I left in Ireland, the family I hated. They were always helping everyone in the village, always giving handouts, neglecting their own family and letting us live in a hovel with rags on our backs and cracks in the wall. Sure, like you, I had food and a roof over my head, but being that poor was not what I wanted in life. I had dreams, and when I found Thomas during his military days, I latched onto him fiercely. I did not love him, but he had more than enough money for me to live the lifestyle I deserved. He was infatuated with me, my youth, my looks, and it was easy enough for me to fake affection towards him when I had feigned happiness my whole life, much like you feign your emotions. I followed him back to the States and married him within six months, bearing him a child, your sister, a year and a half later. When she was four, that's when I met Nicholas, Thomas's brother, for the first time.

Nicholas was an amazing man and had many accomplishments under his belt for being ten years younger than Thomas, still twelve years older than myself, but everything I ever wanted in a man. He was making his own fortune with his own business, had an even brighter military career than Thomas, and had looks to die for. He had been overseas on deployment when I met Thomas and he had been unable to make our wedding. I had seen pictures of him, of course, as you have, but I had never met the man. It is because of him that people have always been infatuated with you. Your looks you get from him, minus the red hues in your hair. Your caring nature we tried to cut from you. Your wish to make things better for everyone. Everything that could be considered 'good' about you, you should be thankful to have inherited from him. He was the man that took my breath away from the minute I saw his picture and then when I was finally able to meet him, he was perfect. He was odd, quiet, but thoughtful, kind, and always trying to make me feel better after Thomas and I fought, which we did a lot. Again, I had no love for him, and his infatuation wore off after the birth of your sister. Nicholas, though, he was so thoughtful and considerate of me in a way Thomas simply couldn't be. And I fell in love with him quickly.

His hair had an almost golden sheen to it in the sun while it took on a darker hue in certain lights, just like yours, though you admittedly got the color of your hair from me. Looking into his eyes was like staring at the open green fields of Ireland itself, as deep and bright a green as yours where mine are dull and pale. But looking at you as you grew, he shown through you more and more. The man was everything I had ever wanted, even though he was my husband's brother, and still I loved him nonetheless. It did not matter that I was married, because he loved me. He didn't care that I had been with child or the minor changes that first pregnancy caused my body. It didn't even matter that he saw me with his brother during various functions we were all at. In fact, the first time he grabbed me, we were at one such function, and managed to find time to get away and spend just the two of us. That was the first night I slept with him, and, to this day, I do not regret the love affair I started with him. The only thing I regret is that we got caught. We spent almost two years continuing our affair and then the worst thing happened and we were forced to stop. I got pregnant with you.

See, Jerry knew about our relations; he'd caught us a few times and had given us his blessing and even Thomas had his suspicions but turned the other cheek until I found out about the pregnancy. Your grandparents are the only reason you still breathe as they refused to have such a stain as an abortion in their family. A bastard child was sinful enough, a bastard from the own family nonetheless, but a baby killer when they were devout Catholics would never be tolerated. Thomas and I would never be allowed to divorce, either, and continuing the love affair was out of the question once it was out in the opening. They made a deal with your real father and sent him to Europe with enough money that he would never have to work another day in his life so that he could sell his business and retire at the age of thirty eight. Even to him, you were nothing more than paycheck. Living in Europe also allowed your grandparents and Thomas to make the excuse that I had been raped by Nicholas, resulting in your conception, making them look even better in the eyes of the community. After all, what person doesn't feel sorry for a rape victim nor admiration towards the family keeping the result?

Thomas and I were sent away from the estate to live in Bay City, in the house you grew up in, to escape the 'horrible treatment the rape baby was getting at home.' Nicholas and I were each given a single picture of the other with you in our arms and then he was gone, merely two weeks after your birth, and I hate that you are the reason I had to say goodbye to him. Had I never fallen pregnant, had Caroline never found out that I was and had I been able to quietly abort you like I should have, you would have never even lived to breathe your first breath. Nicholas and I would still have our affair. If you had never been conceived, your grandparents would have continued turning the other cheek. Yet I was forced to ensure you were born and give up the man I still love to this day. You are the bane of my existence and a stain to my memory for ever being born.

Even so, I can recall the day you were born as if it was yesterday when I can't even recall much of your sister's. You put me through three days of pain before you finally came into this world, pulled out of me by the doctors after they cut me open. They said you wouldn't make it to term because your heartbeat was erratic and could not be stabilized. I was induced two weeks early because they couldn't find out the cause, not until after you were born why. You were blue from your umbilical cord being wrapped around your neck and having such low iron levels that they immediately took you from me and put you in an incubator. You stayed in there for an entire week with an IV stuck to your tiny foot to get your iron levels up and keep you warm enough to survive before they took you out, and even then, you were in the NICU for another two weeks. You barely weighed in at five pounds and while Thomas was hopeful that you would die, I remember praying to anything that would listen not to take my child from me. You were all I had of Nicholas left, and in those moments, I thought I could love you. But you took him from me and were a reminder to Thomas that his own brother betrayed him. Your life has never meant anything to us more than a reminder of tragedy and betrayal, and you should be thankful that we allowed you to live past infancy. We could have easily made it look like you had died of SIDS. We could have, and you should be thankful that we didn't.

I think it was because you were an oddly quiet child. You didn't cry, even when you fell down or were left alone for hours on end. You weren't fussy and slept very little. From the moment you got home, the only time you made any sound was if you were hungry or had a dirty diaper, and even then, it was more sounds of discomfort than cries. It made it easy to forget you were there. But then your sister became interested in you and why you didn't cry. That first mark on your back, where your sister cut you on your birthday, she was just trying to see you cry, see you scream and kick a fuss like all the other normal babies she'd seen. And yet you barely even whimpered, and that just made her try harder to make you cry. The unnatural way you would just stare, even as a baby, was unnerving and made your step-father hate you even more. Because that was the same as Nicholas had been, though your grandparents simply sent him to a boarding school whereas your grandparents refused to let us send our shame away. I never expected you to be a spitting image of him, right down to the spot on your left palm, let alone a genius who was capable of achieving so much so young, just like Nicholas. I never expected you to be just like him.

If there is one thing I regret in this life, it is ever giving birth to you. You ruined my life. You ruined my love. You ruined my body, my image, my lifestyle. You were a mistake from the start, a shame Thomas and I wanted to forget ever happened and did not want, but knew we would be disowned if we ever got rid of. We even considered giving you up for adoption, but your grandfather forbade it, telling us to live with my mistake as recompense for making it. And yet, I've seen it in you. You're more like Thomas and I than you'll ever admit. The same darkness within your step-father and I resides in you, the same desire to cause pain to those who cause you pain. You're no better than us, and you'll be even worse as a mother now that you're pregnant.

Ha! It makes me laugh thinking about you being a mother when you don't even know how to feel emotion. You certainly have no experience with how to love a child, let alone what it truly means to love anything. Your hick lover will learn of your incapabilities soon enough, and when he does, you and your bastard child will be all alone, just like we told you you would be. You won't have a choice but to do to your child what we did to you to make them strong enough to survive this world. And yet, still, I have to ask how you have been able to survive, how you have been able to thrive even with your dysfunctions, both before and after the outbreak. I have been asking myself that ever since you ran away and somehow made it in a world we taught you to fear and despise. I've been thinking about how you survived everything we did to you and still somehow want to make the world a better place. I've thought of so many answers to those questions that I'm settling on the fact that how your step-father and I treated you as we did as the answer. Had you been properly loved by family as Chrystal was, had you been properly cared for, you wouldn't have learned your lessons. You would never have been able to see so far ahead. Never have been able to learn how to survive. To defend yourself so well. To take care of your own injuries. To fend for yourself. You should be thankful for what you've been through, what we've done, because now you'll even survive me. In fact, you've won the game and outlasted all the Parkers; the estate burned down years ago and Thomas is the last now that you've killed our child. And Negan surely knows by now that we've lied and will make us a part of the landscape here. The fact that you were able to kill your sister you also owe to us. We are the reason you have lasted through this epidemic. We are the reason you can fight. We are the ones who gave you everything, everything, you needed to survive.

After all this time, I am finally content with what happened. And I owe that to you. You have shown me why he had to leave and where I went wrong as a wife and where I went right as a mother. It is simple fact that you cannot be kind and nurturing to those who are different, only heavy handed. We trained you like a beast and that is what you've become now, and you owe that to us. There really is nothing that you have in this life that wasn't given to you by Thomas and I. You are nothing without us. We made you who you are and you should have been grateful and let us use you as we wanted until you came of age, or died, whichever came first. We all hated what you reminded us of, the shame of my transgression, the stain on the Parker family's reputation, and we made sure you knew your place, and if it wasn't for that, well, I've already said it. You owe us everything.

The sad thing I've realized since Alexandria is that, it is also by our hand that we lost our Chrystal. If we had given her free reign, she would have known enough to survive this world as you did. She might not have lost to you. She should have never been only taught how to use a knife. We should have taught her to fight, to let you be her punching bag as well as her carving block. We should have let her do as she wanted to you at all times, rather than when we felt like she deserved it. We should have let her give you as many pills as she wanted to, instead of limiting them so that you would survive. In fact, you owe us for your ability to keep your senses even when we drugged you! My true daughter is dead, and my shame lives on. In the end, I realize two things: you have only survived because of us and every day you live is a reminder of that. Never forget that you still belong to us, that you've been branded as ours. Let that brand serve as a reminder of everything we've done for you. Continue to survive.

Sincerely,

Your mother,

Eilleen Ciara Parker

Anger, rage, and despair consumed her all at once because everything, every last horror she lived through, everything, it all made sense now. She had been abused not because of anything she had done, not even because of a cycle of abuse thanks to the Parkers' disciplinarian parenting; she was an affair child. All the pain roared to life inside her, all the times she had been hurt because of things she had no control over and wasn't even alive or conscious to take part in. And they had roped Chrystal into behaving the same way simply by not correcting her behavior and had even encouraged it and apparently subdued it! Everything, all of it, it had never been her fault; it wasn't that they couldn't love her, it was that they refused all because she wasn't Thomas's daughter. It wasn't her fault she had been the product of a sordid affair between his wife and brother. It wasn't her fault that she had even been born in the first place; she'd wished she'd never been born even after she'd managed to escape. It wasn't that they couldn't be nice or treat her fairly, it was simply that they had never wanted to. The worst part was that she'd had to outlive the entire family line according to her mother, only for her mother to try to take credit in the fact that she had survived. She couldn't believe that Ellie tried to say that, because of their treatment of her, their obvious disdain, that was the reason she was still alive. Ani sat and stared at the pictures on the bed, especially the one in the hospital where her unc-father was holding her, unable to reconcile the look of joy and wonder on his face with the thought that he'd left her for money like her mother had said.

"You okay?" Laura asked.

"M'fine."

"Ani?" she repeated before Negan's knock sounded.

"Well, look what we've got here," he said while entering the room, turning around to look at someone behind him. "Come on, kid, get in here."

"Ani!" Carl said as he entered only for her to blankly look over at him.

"What's gotten into her?" Negan asked Laura, noticing right away how quiet she had become and the blank look in her eye; he had figured she'd be happy to see the kid.

"I don't know. Someone brought those in, though, one of Ellie's friends," Laura told him.

"You let one of those assholes' friends in here?!" he demanded.

"No, it was Tony. He's not exactly a bad guy just for hanging with them, and all it was was an envelope. I don't know why she's like that."

"Hey, kid. You seen her like this before?" Negan asked Carl, Ani turning her eyes straight towards the wall.

"When she's really upset, sometimes...sometimes she just...I don't know...shuts down."

"M'fine."

"Even I can tell that is one giant load of shit that came out of your mouth," Negan said as he walked over, picking up the discarded letter before he read it. "Wow! So, she knows what's comin'. Good. For. Her. But, shit, that is one long-winded way of sayin' she didn't deal with her shit."

"Why's 'e 'ere?" Ani asked, a small gesture of the head towards Carl.

"Would you believe this kid? He actually snuck onto one of my trucks and gunned down two of my men!"

"Stupid."

"Yeah, I'll agree. Yet it brings me to why I'm here. And this," he said, holding the letter up, "this just cements it. Put these on," he told her as he tossed a pair of biking gloves to her. "Between the two of you, I've been pretty damn nice. Fifteen men from you, two from him. I mean, Daryl's payin' the price for his, but you? You've been sittin' pretty at the end of the world in my domain. Might've been able to 'til it was all over, but then Carl has to come by."

"What do I have-" Carl began, only for Negan to cut him off.

"Two men! Two men would still be alive. I've made you give me a little somethin' for that, but it ain't enough," Negan said menacingly. "Not nearly enough. So, our soon-to-be little orphan Ani! You're gonna pay for all of it. Everything he's done, everything you've done. You're gonna give me and my men a little entertainment. Oh, don't look at me like that," Negan said as he chuckled and Ani scowled. "You're an MMA fighter! Tom's just a thug and Ellie, well, she's a coward. Shouldn't be a problem for you. Just do me a solid," he told her. "Make it slow. Or else I can't guarantee Carl will make it home in one piece. Might just make Daryl turn into a part of the landscape. I'm not sure what I'll do! I want to be entertained! I want to see what you can do! So put those gloves on and follow me."

Ani took one last look at her family from Ireland before standing up, her shirt before putting the poncho on and pulling on the gloves, following Negan out of the room automatically. He lead them through the factory and down to the upper levels of the factory floor where Ani could see Daryl standing next to someone tied to a chair. Her parents were in the room, too, standing just off to the side of him, her father had the same predatory look she had gotten used to seeing growing up while her mother looked on in disgust. Moving her eyes back over to Daryl, she saw his eyes on her in question, but she only slightly looked over to Carl, knowing they both needed to keep the boy alive by any means necessary. Negan banged Lucille on the metal piping as they walked along the upper bank, Ani watching as Daryl did what everyone else did. The only reason she knew he wasn't actually kneeling to the man was because everyone else was facing Negan; Daryl was astutely facing the opposite direction. He wasn't even bothering to look up at them anymore now that he was on his knees, although Ani didn't know if it was in shame or simply an extension of the figurative 'fuck you' Daryl was giving Negan. A small swell of pride for her husband expanded in her heart before the disgust and discomfort she was feeling returned at what was wanted from her. She was honestly fine killing her parents, but the fact that Negan wanted her to kill them slowly in a fight had her stomach rolling.

"Hold that for me," Negan told Carl, handing over his bat. "You know the deal. What's about to happen is gonna be hard to watch. I don't wanna do it. I wish I could just ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can't! Why?"

"The rules keep us alive," the entire assembly, minus Daryl, said in unison as Negan led Ani and Carl down to the factory floor.

"That. Is. Right!" he said as he stopped on a platform halfway down. "We survive. We provide security to others. We bring civilization back to this world. We...are the Saviors." When he said that, he could hear Ani's scoff behind him, looking back at her momentarily before addressing his audience once again, "But we can't do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work! I know it's not easy. But there's always work. There is always a cost. Here, if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner," Negan bellowed before pausing and chuckling. "... then it is the iron for you." After another short pause, he told them, "On your feet."

As he walked through the crowded floor, Tom and Ellie moved towards him, prompting him to scoff and tell them, ""I said you could see her. Wait your turn," Negan turned around to a stony-faced Ani before looking right at Daryl and smiling. "See, both of you, safe and sound."

"Yeah," Ani said as she stared at him and assessed how he was doing; the man obvious in stages of healing from the beating, but otherwise seemed no worse for wear.

"D..." Negan said as he walked behind the man in the chair, Ani and Carl standing roughly five feet from Daryl as he did so, hers and Daryl's eyes locking on each other. "Mark...I'm sorry. But it is what it is," he drawled silently after receiving something metal from Dwight.

Ani stood stiff as Carl grabbed her hand as they watched what happened, Ani's face scrunching up but refusing to turn away as Negan pressed the red-hot iron Dwight had given him onto the man's face, holding it there even as the man screamed. She wasn't even sure what the man had done to deserve such a harsh punishment, but the smell of burning flesh had her swallowing repeatedly as she tried not to vomit. She and Daryl shared a look before he looked at Carl and then away, his face just as grim as the boy's was when Ani and him glanced at each other. Ani had to turn her face away, retching in the process, when Negan finally pulled the iron away from the now unconscious man's face and skin pulled away with it. And Negan, for how much he'd said he didn't want to do it, for all that show about the rules, he just chuckled and took obvious pleasure when it was all said and done.

"Ah, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" he asked no one in particular. "Jesus. He pissed himself," Negan told him before telling Daryl to clean it up and turned to an older gentleman in a white lab coat. "Doc, I'm all done here. Do your thing. Well, the pussy passed out," he told the assembly. "But it's settled—we're squared. It's cool. Let Mark's face be a daily reminder to him and to everyone else that the rules matter. I hope that we all learned something today because I don't ever...want to have to do that again. Now, me and Mark? We're square. But! There are another couple of shit stains that we need to get cleaned up! Ani!" he commanded, snapping his fingers and pointing to the spot next to him. "Front and center."

Ani walked over to him with one last glance to her husband and Carl as Daryl stood still and watched her carefully. Her hands were in a fist in an attempt to keep how badly they were shaking concealed and she was doing her best not to puke at the thought of everything. Even though she knew what was coming next, she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about it until she looked up and saw the look in her 'father's' eyes become almost manic. He was so sure he was being given her back, being rewarded for the false loyalty he'd given Negan, rather than being offered up to Ani as an outlet and Negan and his men for entertainment. All the anger she felt from that letter, all the anger that she'd pushed down, the darkness her mother had written about that she knew was there, the fear and anguish from being locked in that damn basement room. She let it all fester and boil as her face turned darker and darker until she was primed and ready for the task at hand. Ani didn't have to like that she would have to take her time to admit that she was giving them what they deserved.

"Tom, Ellie, come over here," he said, motioning to two of the other soldiers by where they were standing who grabbed them by the arm, both protesting at the rough treatment. "Well, aren't you pathetic pieces of human excrement?! The things you put this girl through and yet you have the audacity to lie to me," Negan chuckled as he put his hand on his chest. "Did you know? She knows martial arts! I thought that shit was only in movies or sports! And yet Ani, here, claims to be able to kill. And I've just been dying to see this little thing in action."

Tom must have realized what the situation was as he began to plead with Negan, "What is this? I thought you said we would be getting her back, not having to fight her! I'm not fighting my daughter!"

"Really now?" Negan told him. "See, I saw your little video tape back in Alexandria. I saw the look on both your faces when you saw her the first time. I saw it when I told you she'd be getting what she deserves today. Hell, the letter your own wife wrote her laid it all out," Negan told him quietly as he walked up and stared the man down, Tom quickly looking back at Ellie who simply stood resolute. "Do not take me for a fool."

With a motion of his hand, Tom was let go while Ani took off Daryl's poncho and tossed it to Carl, revealing that she was in nothing but her black comfort bra underneath it. Daryl didn't know why she was willing to take it off when she was just wearing that until she rolled her shoulders and got into a fighting stance. Her feet were shoulder width apart and firmly planted while her elbows were tucked in. Her chin was also tucked with her fists up at eye level. Her left side was facing front allowing for her more powerful right side to remain dominant and she was standing squared off with Tom. Tom barely had any time to try to protest when Negan had moved out of the way due to Ani's fist connected with his cheek. No one had expected her to move so fast if the expressions of shock on the faces behind Tom were anything to go on; she hadn't even bothered throwing her full weight into the punch. Negan had told her to make it slow or Carl and Daryl would suffer, so she made sure to keep a lock on her strength and how much force she put behind her blows. The man didn't go down, only stumble a couple steps away before looking up at her in shock and disbelief as Ellie fought against the hold of her captor while shouting obscenities at her, both dropping the pretense of loving parents.

"You little bitch! You turn everything on its head! Everything good we had was taken because you were even born!" roared Tom as he realized he wasn't going to get out of this situation easily while Negan moved to stand next to Carl.

With a roar, Tom charged at her, only for Ani to catch him off guard by not moving, using his shock to perform a left jab to the side of his face, followed by a right elbow to the chest and a knee to the gut, using his own momentum against him before she stepped back. He went down to his knees, Ani knowing she could easily end it now, but Negan had said slow, so she had to make it last. Tom was bleeding from both his nose and his lip when he worked his way back to standing. Spitting blood out on the floor, he turned towards Ani who had immediately returned to her fighting stance as soon as he was standing, ready with her next attack. He couldn't defend or block as she quickly connected her foot with his chest in a front kick before stepping up and performing two jabs to his face, still controlling her strength so that he would take damage without passing out. When he swung at her, she easily blocked it and brought him into a clinch hold, bringing her right knew hard up into his chest and causing him to gasp from breath. He managed to push her off of him, his height giving him the advantage to do so, but was unable to land any blows as she continued to dodge or block them only to return a jab or a knee.

Tom's face was a bloody mess as Negan stood watching, surprise etched on his face before he leaned over and asked Carl, "I thought she was stronger than this."

"She is," he defended as Ani attacked again. "She's controlling it."

"Controlling what?"

"How hard she's hitting him."

"She can do that?"

"She has to. She's actually hurt people before without meaning to. She's killed without meaning to. You have no idea how strong she is," Carl replied haughtily.

"Huh," Negan smiled. "Well, we'll see."

Ani didn't even know how long she had been beating her father, but Tom was completely unrecognizable by the time she finally lost her senses. Several areas of his face were swollen, black and blue, and bleeding while one arm was hanging limp from a connected chop kick that had broken his clavicle. There were obvious bloody patches on his shirt from where her control had started waning and the anger and rage festered through. The knife he'd managed to get a hold of and take a swipe at her with at one point had long been forgotten on the floor from when she'd hit it out of his hand. All she had was a small scratch on her bicep from where the blade had made minor contact when she went to block the blow and what were probably bloody knuckles under the leather. With a final roundhouse kick that connected to his right shoulder, the man fell to the floor, though he was obviously still breathing. She roared as she straddled him and started landing blow after blow to his face, refusing to stop even as blood started splattering across her face. Daryl stood watching, blank-faced, as his wife wailed on her father long after his face had started caving in and Carl was horrified at what he was seeing as the man started twitching on the floor. Negan was absolutely shocked and had to close his eyes when she roared a second time even louder than the first as Tom's skull deteriorated. It had been damn near deafening, filling the entire factory as she landed blow after blow, one fist after the other, until there was no point in continuing and she stood up.

Ani was breathing hard when she heard the sound of feet coming fast from behind her, turning around to have to quickly dodge a knife again. She took two steps back when Ellie went to slash her again, the person who had been holding onto her bleeding from his shoulder. It was obvious that she had Tom's knife and had taken the knife from the Savior and was now trying to attack herself. A few of the other Saviors went to move to stop her, but a small gesture from Negan had them backing off as Ani danced and dodged around Ellie's attacks. It only took a few minutes, however, for her to get sick of playing with Ellie and decide she was done with Negan's show. She made quick work to dodge around her mother's next attack, grabbing her head in the process and twisting it sharply until she heard the snap and let go. Ellie crumpled to the floor as Ani froze in her place, breathing hard now that the two were dead, Negan clapping his hands as he walked up to her. The Saviors had been silent during the whole thing, not expecting someone as small as Ani to have the same tenacity as Negan had himself but not needing a bat to bash a skull in. It was shocking to some of the fighters, frightening to all of the workers, and plain brutality to Carl and Daryl. Negan had barely put a hand on her shoulder to congratulate her on her victory when she turned and puked all over his shoes, making him freeze in place before closing his eyes and sighing in disgust.

"Not the reaction I expected. Well, don't stand there. Get your ass over here and clean this up," Negan told Daryl as he noticed the tears staining Ani's cheeks, before looking between the two bodies, "Damn! That was fun to watch. Who else thinks that?" Turning to Ani, he leaned over and whispered in her ear as she watched Daryl come closer with a guarded look, "You did good; real good Ani. They deserved what they got, you deserved to dish it out. So stop the cryin'."

"They didn' deserve that. Not like that. Ya goin' ta die for makin' me kill 'em for show, Negan," she said just as quietly so that the others couldn't quite hear her, still staring at Daryl as he cleaned up her sick. "Mark my words," she told him, taking her eyes away from Daryl and staring straight into Negan's, "Ya goin' ta die."

"Maybe," Negan agreed, seeing that she really could kill him if she wanted to. "Regina, take Ani to the showers. Get her cleaned up in some new clothes, then take her to Carson for her hands," he told her as Ani was pulled numbly from the room, Negan walked over to Carl. "Some crazy shit, huh? You probably think I'm some kind of lunatic," he told him before putting a hand on his shoulder and steering him out of the room. "Come on, kid. Let's go figure out what to do with you."