Newly Revised
"Ya could stay," Ani suggested as they walked through the gates. "Look afta ya momma. Ya don' got ta come with us. Ya could stay 'ere and keep an eye on 'er."
"No," Sophia said, shaking her head before taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. "She's safe here, and we've got our own to look after. Right?"
"Damn straight, kid," Daryl said, the three of them heading towards the Hilltop.
"I told Ezekiel 'bout Richard, so 'e should be keepin' a closa eye on 'im," Ani told them. "Givin' the man a heads up might keep 'er safe. Hopefully 'e don' pull anythin' else."
"If he does, I'm gonna kill 'im," Daryl told her.
"I'll help ya hide the body," she replied, only for him to give her a look like she was out of her mind. "What? Even if ya don' hide the body, ya still need ta get rid a it."
Sophia giggled while Daryl scoffed and pulled her under his arm, happy that she was at least still making jokes even though she still had aggravation set firmly in her eyes. Even if she was trying to accept the fact that she couldn't fight as up front as she'd like to anymore, she was still a fighter and hated the idea of stepping down. If she had it her way, she wouldn't stop fighting right up until she was popping their kid out and even after that she was still going to be holding the baby in one arm and a gun or dagger in her other. Daryl knew he was going to have a fight on his hands to keep her from doing too much when she got further along considering how hard he'd had to fight just to get the promise she'd stay back. Pressing a kiss into her hair, they both listened in as Sophia told them some of the things she'd heard from the kids in the Kingdom. Even though the girl had wanted to tell the Kingdomers about the Saviors, she'd done a good job keeping tight lipped so that they could continue living in their pseudo-ignorance. Apparently, even though the King had never told the citizens about his deal with the Saviors, they still knew that something was going down. Every week at the same time, the King and his personal guard would load up items from the King's Royal Garden and leave only to come back without the stuff. He never explained it and no one ever questioned it, trusting his judgment to keep them safe, but it was still a mystery the young folk were trying to figure out. They'd even pestered Benjamin and Henry, the kids Ezekiel was keeping as wards, into telling them something, but no one would ever say anything. Whatever reason he had for not telling the citizens of the Kingdom what he was doing on those trips, they trusted him implicitly with their safety. That trust, Ani told them, was going to backfire if and when the Saviors breached their gates if the King didn't act first.
Bobby and Catty took down a woodchuck together about halfway to the Hilltop and the trio decided it was a good time to take a break for lunch. Daryl left most of the woodchuck for the kittens, giving them both a few scratches behind the ears and under the chin for a job well done before he came back over to the fire Ani had made with the rest. They ate it and some fruit Ani had been given while talking about what they wanted to do after the war. Sophia had a lot of plans that involved making sure her mom was alright in the Kingdom, Maggie and Beth were safe at the Hilltop, and living in Alexandria to help with the baby. Ani was smiling as she listened to the girl, even as her eyes began to droop, making the break take even longer after she fell asleep leaning against Daryl for a couple hours. Ani had apologized profusely for falling asleep until Daryl told her to shut up, giving her a kiss before pulling her onward. She was getting tired easier now and had been taking naps a lot even before the Sanctuary and had been on the move for the most part ever since they escaped. Letting her get a couple hours of rest in while they were heading back to their people was nothing in the grand scheme of things. She'd need to catch up on her sleep eventually if she wanted to be able to help with the war anyway as much as she did to get to the Hilltop.
It took a couple more hours before they were walking through the gates of the Hilltop, all three hunters freezing a bit when they saw Maggie. Sasha walked up and tentatively laid a hand on Ani's shoulder, moving on to give her a loose hug when she didn't pull away this time. Abraham wasn't so gentle, earning him a chastise from both Daryl and Merle, who'd stayed at the Hilltop, telling him to be careful as he gave Ani a bear hug that had her laugh at the same time as tears had sprung to life. It had been easy to forget at the Sanctuary that she had a real family and wasn't actually alone. Being separated from everyone and everything with only the baby connecting her to Daryl had been physically and emotionally trying, but she was trying to handle it better. While she'd known in her mind that there had been people waiting for her, the saying 'out of sight, out of mind' was unfortunately too true for her when it came to anything that wasn't an immediate concern. At the Sanctuary, it had been her focus to keep herself and Daryl safe and find a way out without either of them getting hurt any more than they already had. Right up until she'd seen Carl and then Sophia, she hadn't really thought about anyone else back home, not even Bobby or Catty. She hadn't meant to forget, she'd simply had other things on her mind that had made her momentarily forget, particularly about family when faced with Tom and Ellie. Being back with her family, her real family, after having the couple days to calm down and relax, talk to Daryl about what happened, get his side of the story and tell him hers, she was feeling a lot better. She could accept and recall how much family she had and what it meant to her for them to be there and care about and protect her.
~x~
"How's trainin' goin'?" Ani asked a few mornings later as she walked up to a wooded area just outside of the walls of the Hilltop.
"It's goin' pretty well," Abraham told her. "They're pickin' up the new technique quick."
"That's good."
"Daryl know you're out here?"
"Does 'e got ta be up my ass all the time?"
"Seems like he doesn't want you out of his sight."
"Would ya want Sash ta be if she was expectin'?"
Abraham couldn't help but chuckle as the man in question came around a building, only to stop on the corner and lean against it while watching Ani as she helped a couple of the people Maggie was training. Sasha was near by helping others with gun training; they'd been trading off on who was doing what for the last week even before Daryl, Ani, and Sophia came back. Sasha had mentioned to Abraham the first day they'd been back how Daryl didn't let Ani out of his sight and even when she was, she would always go looking for him after a short amount of time. They might not be attached at the hip like Merle had been afraid of, but they were keeping a close eye on each other. In all honesty, Ani was keeping a close eye on everyone from their group with a particular interest in Maggie, even though she was unable to bring her eyes to look at anything other than Maggie's feet. Daryl wasn't interacting wasn't looking at her at all and, in all honesty, he hadn't been talking much at all since he'd returned. Ani was off, too, but not as bad as that first day they'd come back with Jesus, Merle, and Sophia and Abraham couldn't really blame her for that after hearing what she'd been made to do. While Ani's question about Abraham not letting Sasha out of his sight if she was was pregnant was a fair point to make, Daryl was always watching over her. It seemed at times that he'd decide she'd had enough and would pull her away no matter how much she protested. Merle had quickly became upset with his brother's actions, telling Abraham that if Daryl kept it up the two of them were going to have words. Sasha had suggested that maybe Ani was like Maggie, needing someone to tell her to take a rest like Enid had been doing for the other pregnant woman.
Beth had taken to sparring with Sophia almost constantly, the two of them having several bruises from the other as they practiced for hours on end. Ani and Merle both had gone out several times a day to tell them to knock it off only for the girls to take a break for about half an hour to two and start back up. Ani had to give it to the pair of girls, their forms and strength were growing by the day. When Beth wasn't sparring with Sophia, she was drawing what Daryl, Ani, Sophia, and Jesus had said about the Sanctuary in secret, Sophia helping her as much as she dared. While she didn't mind helping Beth make a more detailed map, she wasn't sure what Beth was planning, especially when she'd sworn the girl to secrecy. Whatever it was that Beth had planned, it was something she was trying to keep from everyone else. And if Beth wasn't sparring with Sophia or pouring over the map she was drawing, she was on the target field, practicing her aim with both the rifle and the bow. She'd become a damn good shot as she started hitting the bullseye almost every time with both projectile weapons. Merle helped correct her poise and Beth felt she was finally ready to do what she needed to for Maggie, for Glenn, and for her. Beth wasn't planning on sitting around to wait for Rick and Maggie to decide when they were ready to fight. When the time came, she was taking her chances and taking the fight to Negan herself, no matter what the cost.
Merle was standing watch as the group practiced, smiling softly as he saw Ani moving through the ranks to correct positions and postures while Maggie showed the motions of what needed to be done. He'd been pleasantly surprised when he'd offered Maggie his help in showing knife work and Maggie turned him down, stating that Ani had already shown them the basics, and that's all they had time to teach for now. However, he was absolutely miffed at Daryl for how he was treating Ani every single time she so much as yawned or worked up a sweat. While what Sasha had said about the pregnant ladies needing reminders that they were, in fact, pregnant, how Enid got Maggie to take a break was completely different from what Daryl was doing. The man would literally drag Ani back to the hayloft, which finally changed to a room last night thanks to Ani waking up with a sore hip. She'd taken to hiding her yawns to the best of her ability just so she didn't get pulled away in the middle of trying to help someone. It was ridiculous that the small woman felt like she had to pretend to be fine just so that she could help with doing what needed done, even if there were plenty of hands on deck to do it for her. She needed to do something, though, and every time he made her sit for the rest of the day, she would sulk and only pick at her food instead of actually eating no matter what the others said about her needing to eat. Merle rolled his eyes when Daryl moved to head over to where she was in the afternoon after she made the mistake of openly yawning. It was about time to put a stop to Daryl's overprotective bullshit now before Ani's emotions and hormones got the best of her and she did it herself.
Getting in his way, Merle said, "Hey now, where ya goin' with your britches on fire?"
"She needs a break," was all Daryl said, trying to move around his brother.
"Why don't you let her be the judge a that?"
"She don't know when she needs to stop."
"Oh, I think she does."
"Naw, she don't!" Daryl yelled, trying and failing once again to get around Merle.
"Let her help, brother. That's all she's got to keep 'er mind off shit and you know it. You know damn well as much as I do that you that she's havin' a hard time comin' to terms with having to sit out eventually. She's blamin' herself for what happened to Glenn, too, just as much as you are," Merle told him, putting his hand on Daryl's shoulder. "It ain't your fault or hers what happened. That Negan bastard...He's the one you put the blame on. Get that shit out of your head before it kills ya."
"Man, you don't know shit!" he growled out, slapping Merle's hand off.
"Oh? Then enlighten me," Merle goaded. "Just why can't she decide on 'er own when she's had enough, huh? Why you on 'er ass all the time for tryin' to help?"
"It ain't that she's helpin'," Daryl scowled. "She don't need to be pushin' herself when the rest of you are here and can do it for her!"
"She wants to do it herself, man," Merle told him. "Let her."
"Don't tell me what to do! That's my wife, my baby!" Daryl growled out.
"Boy, you think I don't know that?" Merle told him, trying to remain calm since one of them had to keep their heads in this conversation. "But if you keep pullin' her away, how you think that's gonna make her feel? How long's it gonna take for her to start pullin' away from you? All you've done the last few days is pull her away and make 'er rest any time she so much as stretches. You need to lay off. Let 'er do what she does best. Hell, you've already got me, Abraham, and Sasha on Ani-watch when we head back towards Alexandria! What do you think is gonna happen?!"
"Man, you don't even know!" Daryl yelled, tensed and ready to fight Merle if he needed to to get Ani the rest she needed.
While the first couple of nights they had escaped they both had gotten good sleep, since they'd stayed behind in the Kingdom, Ani had started waking up often at night. She was having nightmares damn near every night and if it wasn't nightmares, it was heartburn and/or nausea. Every single one of the nightmares consisted either of her parents beating her until she miscarried, taking the baby from her, or killing him in some torturously agonizing and slow way that had her running for the grass. On top of that, her hip and back were starting to bring her discomfort, too, which was causing it hard for her to get comfortable enough to get to sleep to begin with. Even when they'd moved from the hayloft into the spare room in Barrington, she got no relief from the discomfort or the nightmares. No one else knew that she wasn't sleeping well because she hid the fatigue behind the excuse of being pregnant. Any time anyone asked if she needed a break or wanted some rest, she waved it off and said she was fine, just getting used to the new bump. Well, no one else except Dr. Carson, who was adamant that it was all normal for women to have nightmares during pregnancy, much to Daryl's discontent. Ani had chuckled at the old wives' tales Carson had told them about some of her symptoms, saying that nausea was a sign of a boy while heartburn was supposed to mean a full head of hair. Nightmares, however, was just a symptom of pregnancy that, unfortunately, had to do with the fact that she wasn't sleeping well. Her brain wasn't getting enough REM sleep due to the physical, hormonal, and emotional state she was in thanks to the pregnancy coupled with the trauma of whatever they had gone through at the Sanctuary. Merle getting in Daryl's way of making Ani get some rest when she could had him ready to physically remove the obstacle in order to get to his wife and make sure she took a break.
"What? You gonna throw a punch just 'cause I ain't lettin' you stop 'er? You gonna come at me for tryin' to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours?" Merle taunted. "You know damn well you can't control her like that."
"Are you guys done?" Sasha's voice cut in, both men staring at each other for a moment before looking over to Sasha who was helping steady a pale-faced Ani who was shaking her head as she scrunched her nose. "She got sick."
"I told you," Daryl said as he shoved past Merle, checking his shoulder with his own, and went straight to Ani, picking her up bridal style even though she told him to put her down. "She needs a damn break."
"Daryl! I can fuckin' walk! I ain' an invalid!" Ani whined as he carried her to the house.
"Shut it."
"What the hell was that all 'bout, then?"
"Don't worry 'bout it. You need sleep."
"D, don' do this whole, 'I'm the fatha so I got ta be macho man, neanderthal, heathen, carryin' my woman 'round like she's a damn trophy,'" she teased, struggling a little to get him to put her down.
"Wouldn't have to be if you'd just back off a little. Don't gotta be right there when they're trainin'," Daryl complained. "You ain't sleepin' and you're gonna wear yourself out constantly movin' 'round like that all the damn time!"
"I get it, I get it," she sighed as he put her down inside their room.
"No, ya don't!" he yelled, turning around and slamming the door shut. "How many times I gotta tell ya?! Take it fuckin' easy! But naw! You say you get it then turn 'round and go right back out into that damn field helpin' 'em train! You can give a pointer or two and sit the fuck down! But naw! You gotta be all up in everyone's business instead a mindin' your own and our damn baby's!"
"Daryl!" Ani shouted, spinning towards him, completely shocked by his attitude as her own anger started to rise. "What the hell's up with the attitude?!"
"I told you! The doctor told you! Take it fuckin' easy!"
"I am takin' it easy!"
"Sure as hell don't seem like it! Always runnin' 'round like a chicken with its head cut off, correctin' everyone's forms, helpin' in the gardens, talkin' to the people Carson wants you to! Unless I tell you to rest, you don't! And you fight me every damn step of the way!"
"Wantin' ta walk by myself, wantin' ta finish up that one last thing I'm tryin' ta do, is not fightin', Daryl. Best ya could call it is strugglin' even though it's really only delayin'. I've been restin'! Every time ya tell me ta, I lay down and ya know it 'cause ya stay with me ta help me get ta sleep!"
"Ain't good enough!"
"Nothin's goin' ta be fuckin' good enough ta ya!" she yelled in frustration. "Answa me this, if I weren' 'ere, if it was jus' ya and Maggie, would ya be up 'er ass 'bout takin' it easy like ya are me?"
"Maggie ain't carryin' my kid!"
"Nah! She's not! But that don' mean ya get ta try ta guilt trip me for doin' the small part a what I can do while I can do it!"
"You don't gotta do it!"
"Neitha does Maggie!"
"She's not as far along!"
"And I ain' doin' anythin' stress inducin'!" Ani fought back. "I ain' doin' any heavy liftin'! I ain' sparrin'! I ain' doin' any quick or jerky movements! I'm helpin' people fix how they're holdin' the knife or shiftin' their weight! I'm jus' showin' 'em where ta plant the herbs they want ta use for the garden, not actually doin' any real work! I'm bein' a damn psychologist for those who need the help! I'm not liftin' a damn thing more'n what Catty weighs, and even then, someone's always takin' everythin' but 'er out a my hands! What the fuck am I doin' that's got ya panties in a twist?!" Ani asked, frustration and hurt clear in her voice.
"You never stop!" Daryl roared back. "'Less I pull you away, you don't stop! You just keep goin' and goin', pushin' through even though you know damn well you need a break! Even Carson told you to take it fuckin' easy and you ain't!"
"I've been takin' it easy!" she cried, not understanding at all what he was wanting from her. "I haven' even been doin' anythin' otha than walkin' as far as exercisin' goes! I really don' undastand what the fuck ya want from me! D..."
"I want you to stop tryin' to help anyone and everyone and focus on you and the damn baby!"
"D...I am focusin' on me and the baby. I stopped doin' any fightin', stopped any sparrin', I haven' lifted anythin' heavia than Catty since we got 'ere, I've been takin' naps every time ya pull me away! I really, really, don' undastand what ya want from me!" she cried, going to the bed and sitting on it. "What do ya want? 'Cause..." she shook her head and looked around before shrugging her shoulders and looking him in the eyes, tears streaming down her face. "I am takin' it easy. I promise ya. If I ain', then ya got ta tell me what I'm doin' wrong, 'cause I honestly don' know! I jus'...I jus' don' know!"
"Bullshit!" Daryl accused, pacing around the room, not liking the sight nor sound of Ani crying but needing her to understand that she needed to do less around the settlement. "You know damn well that the others can do the trainin'! You know that! 'Cause you're the one that trained Maggie! Sasha was a damn firefighter! Abraham and Merle were in the military! Why the hell they need you there, huh?! Merle and Phia are dealin' with the people learnin' the bow! They don't need you there either! They don't need you on the firin' range! Get it through your damn head already! They don't fuckin' need you!"
Ani got really quiet after he said that and even Daryl knew he'd taken it too far when she breathed in sharply through her nose and became very interested in the bed, "I'll jus' rest for a while."
Daryl sighed and went to move towards her, "Look, Ania..."
"I jus' want ta sleep," she whispered, cutting him off as she climbed in bed facing away from him. "Come get me if anyone needs anythin' from me."
Daryl sighed and left the room, only to run into Abraham leaning against the wall outside their door, "Rough go, huh?"
"Why don't you mind your own business?" Daryl said as he stormed past the big, red-haired man.
"Hey, I'm just tryin' to help you out. Ain't like I ain't made pancakes a couple times before."
"The fuck you talkin' about?"
"I was a dad, back in the before times," Abraham told him. "And let me say, you're lucky she ain't a normal lady or else your ballsack would be on a string hanging from the bed post with your dick stuffed on a shelf beside 'em for what you just did and said. If gettin' her to stop and take a rest is the biggest of your worries when it comes to your pregnant wife, you should count yourself lucky. Hell, I remember one time, I was gettin' ready for work and my wife wanted me to get 'er somethin' from the store. Milk or ice cream, somethin' simple and stupid like that. I was on my way out the door when she asked. Store was a couple blocks down the road, so I told her to walk it. God, I swear I set off an A-bomb right in the middle of the house by the time I got back home. Woman didn't talk to me for damn near two weeks straight before she cried and apologized. Pregnancy can be a bitch, it's only gonna get worse 'fore it gets better."
"What are you sayin'?" Daryl asked, turning to the man even though his eyes went to the door down the hall.
"I'm sayin' you're in for a lot of tears and shut downs or shut outs. It just goes with the territory, my friend."
~x~
Ani didn't come out of the room for the rest of the day as far as anyone knew since very few people had seen her since she'd gone in. She'd used the restroom a couple of times and gotten a drink from the sink, but other than that, Ani didn't feel like doing anything. Daryl was right; she wasn't needed anywhere, she wasn't needed for anything. Everyone was just being nice and letting her participate because she was pregnant, probably because of her mind, too. They were all probably happy that she wasn't participating now, that she was finally out of the way so they could progress things along faster. She couldn't even blame him for what he'd said because he was completely right that no one needed her to be around right now. She should have just stayed in her lane and just helped with the people who needed her skills as a therapist and Carson for his herb garden. But now she wondered if even they really needed her since, in all probability, they were probably just taking pity on her and giving her something to do, too. Ani felt numb to everything as she laid there staring at the wall, not talking to anyone who came to check on her and see if she was alright. Even when Daryl came back in to tell her there was food being made, she just pretended to be asleep, which caused him to sigh and leave again.
Daryl was completely worn down between what happened with Ani earlier that day and the fact that she hadn't so much as looked at him, or even moved from the looks of it, since and the fact that Maggie kept trying to get him to just look at her. All he'd been able to do for the better part of the afternoon was sit on the picnic table outside the trailers and watch Maggie and the others move around the grounds of Hilltop. He'd also been looking up at the window where his and Ani's room while sharpening his knives or making arrows for everyone. He didn't understand why Ani was being how she was being and it made him even angrier when he tried to tell her there was food ready only for her to ignore him. He knew she wasn't actually asleep, but if she wanted to be left alone, fine, let her sulk like a little kid; it was better than seeing her working herself to death. It didn't help that Maggie was constantly trying to talk to him or interact with him, too, and he simply couldn't handle the guilt he felt to talk to her. Every time Maggie would try to come up to him, he'd turn away, attempting to be subtle but knowing he was failing horribly. He'd watch her dry her eyes before putting on a brave face and walking back over to the others every time he'd do it. It seemed like the only thing he was able to do at the moment was make the women he cared about cry.
"How's Ani?" Beth asked, walking out from the trailer and sitting down next to Daryl.
"Sleepin'."
"All day? That's not like her. She's always out here helpin'."
"And that's the fuckin' problem! That right there!" Daryl yelled before looking around and lowering his voice when he noticed a couple of the Hilltop's citizens slow and look at him as they turned in for the night. "Everyone expects 'er to help! Expects 'er to do it all! Ain't fuckin' right and ain't fuckin' fair! Y'all don't fuckin' need her!"
"It's not like anyone asked for her help aside from Carson askin' her to talk to a few people," Beth said, rolling her eyes at how Daryl was acting and internally comparing it to what happened after the prison fell. "It's not like any of us are pushin' her to help. She just does."
"Then tell her to fuckin' stop!"
"Why? She's the best instructor we have since she was actually a teacher! I mean, it might've been psychology, but she adjusted really well to teach self-defense and all the other stuff when she started teachin' us. It's not like she's doin' anythin' she hasn't before."
"She wasn't pregnant before! She is now! She don't need to be doin' it," Daryl growled out.
"Maybe we don't need her to be doin' it, but maybe she needs to be doin' it to feel like she's doin' somethin'. Can't be easy agreein' to wait on the sidelines while you fight," Beth told him. "I know I'm not happy about it. I didn't do all that trainin', learn how to fight, how to shoot, just to be put on the back burner and kept here in Hilltop. I can't imagine how bad she's feelin' about it all when she's the one that originally taught a lot of us to fight."
"You takin' her side?"
"Well, think about it, Daryl," Beth chided. "She's been the main leader for the longest time. She single handedly trained all of us durin' the winter. She's spent just as much time as you huntin', even more foragin' and gettin' all those plants for medicine. And then makin' the medicine and teachin' me and Phia how to make it on top of trainin' us up and teachin' me psychology. Now, all of a sudden, she's just talkin' to a few people, showin' people where to plant things, and showin' people how to correct themselves. Did you know she's even refusin' to do anythin' with makin' medicine because, even though Carson told her it would be fine, she doesn't want the 'alcohol vapors' or whatnot hurtin' Little D? She won't go near the medical trailer when they're processin' herbs because, and I quote, 'some could hurt the baby if ingested,' even though all she's doin' is smellin' it. She's doin' so little compared to what I'm used to her doin', and so scared of some of the things she used to do too."
"What are you on about? She's not makin' the medicine? That's all she ever does in her free time."
"Not at all. Even when she's told it's fine, she wants nothin' to do with it, 'just in case'," Beth informed him in air quotes.
"Who told you that?"
"How have you not noticed? She hasn't been in the room they're makin' the remedies at all. Like, she'll handle the plants in plant form, but start processin' them and she's just gone. I asked her about it 'cause she's been fine with the plants all this time. Apparently, a lot of the herbs she uses can induce contractions, and she's scared of bein' in the same room as the fumes. She's kinda neurotic about it. She won't even go near the door. Last night, she wouldn't even go in the medical trailer, handed the herbs in her hand to me and left, 'cause she said she could smell them. I don't know, I couldn't smell nothin'. It's Maggie and anythin' apple all over again," Beth sighed. "Anythin' apple, Maggie can smell it through the damn door. It really sucks when I'm tryin' to have a piece of pie and she opens the door and just demands I give it to her. Like, you've had an entire pie already. Can't you share?"
"Ania hasn't been messin' with the herbs?" Daryl asked, a pit forming in his stomach as he thought of his words earlier.
"She hasn't even really been handlin' them. Just handin' over what's been harvested and what not. I'm surprised you haven't noticed with how you've been on her about restin' up," Beth shrugged.
"Why you tellin' me all this?"
"Dude, you're sittin' here lookin' like a lost dog when your pregnant wife is sulkin' alone in your room. It's pretty damn obvious somethin' happened between the two of you. I figured it has somethin' to do with the pregnancy," she said with another little shrug. "I've learned a lot from Ani, from the herbs to fightin' to psychology. All of us from the farm? From the prison? Tara? You're all pretty easy for me to 'get a read on', as Ani calls it. I don't know what you're thinkin' like Ani does, but I can guess pretty easily what's botherin' you. It doesn't help that what bothers you seems to always involve Ani. Not in a bad way," she added quickly when Daryl scowled at her. "You just always are worried more about her than anythin' else and you always get upset when she's upset or hurt or when the two of you are fightin'."
"Does everyone gotta get all up in our business? Goddamn!"
"We wouldn't have to if you guys wouldn't keep puttin' your heads up your asses," Beth countered.
"Whatever," Daryl told her as he stood up and got ready to walk away.
"Hey," Beth called out. "She was talkin' 'bout your squirrel fritters this morning. But you didn't hear that from me."
Daryl had to admit, Beth telling him Ani had been talking about the fritters fried his mind for a bit until he actually walked through Barrington's door and it hit him like a ton of bricks. Heading to the kitchen, he asked the ladies that were cleaning up in there if they had the ingredients to make the damn things in a very polite manner. They were all older ladies and he felt obligated to show them respect, thanking them as they brought the ingredients out for him. When they asked him what he was doing and he gave the short answer, they all mentioned how it was sweet of him to be making his wife dinner and left him to it. Of course, it wasn't before one mentioned how it reminded her of her husband and the other, the wife of the blacksmith, said that her Earl still treated her like a queen like that. Daryl just rolled his eyes and got to work, making them both a plate in short order with some cut up fruit and vegetables to go along with it and a nice, tall glass of milk for Ani. He quickly cleaned up after himself before taking the tray up the stairs to their room, just about to knock on the door with his boot when it swung open and he hit Ani's shin instead.
"Fuck, baby girl! You okay?"
"Are those frittas?" she asked, practically pulling him inside.
"Yeah. Thought you might like 'em since you haven't eaten all day."
"So. Fuckin'. Good," Ani moaned after grabbing one off the tray before Daryl even sat it down and took a bite.
Daryl scoffed as she continued eating, practically moaning with every bite, before he asked, "Should I leave you alone with the plate?"
Ani giggled, embarrassed, telling him, "Sorry. Ya know I love these things. Not like I love 'em more'n I love ya," she added, looking down and becoming really quiet, placing the fritter back on the plate. "I'm sorry 'bout earlia. Ya right that they don' need me. I jus'...I jus' want ta do my part. And there's so much I can' do now. I jus'...I didn' want ta feel useless."
"You ain't useless," Daryl told her.
"Yeah, right now I am. I know I ain' needed to help with the trainin' and I can' help with the medicine. The only people who might need me help are the people Carson had me talk ta, and there ain' much there that they needed otha than the talkin' ta ta put things inta perspective. There really ain' anythin' I can do."
They ate in silence for a while, Daryl watching Ani as she kept her eyes on her plate and started eating slower while tears silently ran down her cheeks. He ended up finishing his plate before her as her emotions started getting the better of her as the thoughts she'd been having all day came back to her. She hated how being pregnant was making it to where all she could do was sit around and wait for everyone else to do everything else. It wasn't that she resented Little D; she loved their child with all her heart but being pregnant in general? She absolutely hated it, hated how she was being looked down upon just because of it and how she was being treated just because of it. It reminded her of how people had acted when they found out about her neurodiversity, only no one was angry with her, rather they were treating her as if she was some fragile thing that needed to be put in a bubble. Even though Ani understood that society always was more protective of pregnant women, that it was somewhat biologically engraved in a herd-mentality, social instinct capacity in most mammal societies, it was still bothersome. She knew Daryl was watching her from his spot as she wiped her face off while he chewed on his thumb for several minutes before speaking.
"Hey, what I said earlier. I'm sorry," he told her.
"Don' be. Ya right that they don' need me. I jus' wanted ta do me part. Ain' much I can do right now," she said quietly.
"Ania," he said, drawing her eyes to him. "Just 'cause they don't need you there don't mean they don't want you. I'm sorry I said what I said. I'm just...What happened at the Sanctuary. All the threats..."
"I know," she whispered, going over to sit on his lap and run her fingers through his hair. "I know. I'm scared too. But D, we can' keep doin' this. This goin' back and forth between fightin' and bein' okay. I can' take it anymore," she cried as she clung to him, burying her face in his neck.
Daryl held her tightly as he sighed because he really didn't know what to say; it had been hard enough to admit that he was wrong earlier. It was obvious that they were having a bit of a rocky moment in their relationship and he wasn't sure how to smooth things out. He needed to come to terms with the threats Negan and Dwight had made while she came to terms with her situation and what she'd been forced to do. And they were both clashing hard over it because Daryl was overwhelming her with how overprotective he was being and Ani wanted to do as much as she could for however long she could. After a few moments, she moved to sit up, wiping her eyes and apologizing for crying all over him again and complaining about hormones. Daryl still didn't say anything, just brought her head back to his shoulder and held her until she ended up falling asleep, just like he knew she would; she always did when she became emotionally drained. He moved carefully, laying her on the bed and tucking before heading outside to check on Maggie under the pretense of having a smoke, seeing her heading to the trailer to turn in for the night, too.
~x~
Beth was sitting at Glenn's grave with Sophia in the morning, pouring over her map and making sure there was as much detail in it as possible. The last thing either of them expected was a pissed off looking Rosita to come over to them with a large bag on her back. While Rosita knew that Sasha was the best shot in the group, she still loved Abraham enough to not ask either of them to participate in what she had planned. Beth had become a damn fine sharpshooter during the training she'd done back in Alexandria and while she wasn't on par with Sasha, she was at least on par with Rosita herself. Either of them could make this work with relative ease and she just hoped that Beth understood what the stakes were. It was going to be difficult to get away and their absence would definitely be noticed before they even got to the Sanctuary, but Rosita was sure the teen would be up to helping her. She'd already noticed how angry the girl had been when she'd gotten to the Hilltop with the others and even more so after the group had gotten back from the Kingdom. If anyone was up for taking out Negan as soon as possible rather than waiting for the others to get an army and somehow find weapons, it was Beth.
"Hi," Beth told her, motioning for Sophia to go.
"Hi," Rosita said back.
"Are you here for Abraham or-"
"I'm here because I need your help," Rosita cut her off.
"You're goin' after Negan," Beth guessed. "You got a gun or somethin'?"
"I thought about bringing some of the explosives we found on the bridge back to Alexandria, but I didn't want anyone finding out and trying to stop me. I did bring something better, though," she answered as she pulled out two pieces of a sniper rifle and put them together, handing it over to Beth, who checked the scope and weight. "So we can take our shot. Rick and Michonne found guns."
"But they aren't ready to move, right?" Beth asked.
"They can't. They need more guns, more people, more time...more excuses. I memorized everything Carl and the Dixons told Rick about the inside of Negan's place," Rosita said.
"I drew a map of it, inside and out, with Phia's help," Beth informed her. "It's far away and well defended. Just the two of us? We might be able to find a way in, but..."
"You changing your mind?" Rosita asked.
"I'm ready to kill him, but you know what this means, right?"
"Do you?"
"We get caught, we're dead. No matter what, we're dead. There's no comin' back unless the job's done. It's a one way trip, or else they get somethin' to hold over everyone else," Beth surmised, nodding her head as she looked at Rosita in determination.
"It's a one-way ticket for both of us, yeah," Rosita agreed. "If it is us both."
"It is."