"Can I speak with you?" Carol asked Ani as they left the room.

"Go on ahead, hun. I'll catch up in a few," Ani told Sophia, who looked between the two before heading off after Merle, Daryl letting both women know he'd be close by helping the others out. "What do ya want?"

"How can you willingly let her put herself in danger like that and then act as if she's doing something great? Why are you always letting her put her life on the line but acting like I'm some kind of monster for calling her out on it?" she replied sternly. "You don't know the first thing about what it takes to be a mother when you're constantly letting her fight by herself!"

"That's rich, comin' from ya," Ani told her with a bit of a laugh before shaking her head and looking at Carol dead in the eye, her accent starting to show in her anger and shocking the older woman who had never fully been at the receiving end of it. "Have ya even talked ta 'er since she got 'ere without yellin' at 'er for doin' what she needed ta ta savive? Like, seriously, ya made sure ta make Henry stay out a the fight, only ta not say shite ta Phia! Didn' even ask 'er how she was doin'! Did ya even think 'bout how that'd make 'er feel?! Hell nah! Ya go and blame 'er for savin' ya life and the grief a doin' it yaself! And all that bullshite with Henry when ya haven' given two shites 'bout 'er since we came out a those woods alive! Did ya eva even think 'bout how ya makin' 'er feel? Did ya think 'bout what she wanted from ya? Did ya eva stop ta think that maybe she didn' want ya ta feel guilty for havin' ta kill an ex? Or for havin' ta put down someone ya knew? I don' know what was goin' on in 'er head, but ya yellin' at 'er for savin' ya was out a line.

"And 'fore ya start sayin' she's ya daughta and ya know what's best for 'er, ya ain' been actin' like a momma ta that liddle girl for a long time now. Do ya even know 'er anymore?! What 'er likes are?! What she hates?! What she needs and wants?! What's goin' on in 'er life or with 'er body?! Do ya even fuckin' care?! Ya don' know what she's capable or what she's done ta savive and make 'erself stronga! What she's managed ta do and how she's fought every step a the way ta be as strong she fuckin' is is more than ya eva did in ya entire life 'til ya decided ya wanted ta play house with those girls and that boy! What do ya even know 'bout the girl ya only eva fuckin' yell at?!" asked her, the Irish out in full as her voice unconsciously started to get louder, bringing Daryl back up the stairs.

"Are you seriously lecturing me about being a mother when you haven't even had your first child yet?"

"Fuck yes I am! I'm callin' ya out on ya behavia, again. I've been more a a motha ta 'er in the last two years than ya eva were 'er entire fuckin' life! I'm the one that's taught 'er ta be brave! I'm the one who's made sure she was as fuckin' strong as a grown ass man in part 'cause ya couldn' eva protect 'er from Ed! I'm the one that's protected 'er!" Ya couldn' even keep runnin' when 'e went afta 'er! Ya knew what the fuckin' bastard was and what 'e wanted ta do ta 'er and yet ya went runnin' right back ta him and put 'er right back in fuckin' danga! And now ya pissed that she can do what ya couldn'?! At bein' strong 'nough ta fight for 'erself when ya couldn'?! What the fuck did ya do when she ran into those woods, huh?! How many fuckin' days did ya look for 'er, Carol? How many fuckin' days?!" Ani yelled as she went off on Carol, finally saying what had been on her mind ever since the farm and even more so since the prison.

"I've been the one takin' care a her since she got hurt in the prison and ya weren' the one ta give 'er blood! Merle did! Hell, since the fuckin' farm I've been lookin' out for 'er! Since the gods damned quarry even! Teachin' 'er how ta kill Ed if 'e came at 'er!"

"What?"

"The bastard had it comin' for what 'e did! Ta 'er and ta ya! Hell, I didn' even fuckin' tell 'er how ta 'til she said she was scared a 'im! I lived my whole fuckin' life bein' afraid! I wasn' goin' ta let 'er!"

"So you just tell her to kill?"

"I told 'er ta savive. And she has," Ani told her harshly. "And ya neva once stopped ta think 'bout that! 'Bout the fact that your fuckin' daughter has savived this entire fuckin' time! Ya haven' even once looked at that girl the same since we came out a those woods and I'm sick a it! Eitha fuckin' let 'er go once and for all or decide ya want ta be there as 'er motha and actually start fuckin' carin' about 'er when shite hits the fan! Stop worryin' 'bout every otha fuckin' kid ya fuckin' meet and start takin' care a the child ya brought inta the damn world yaself! Stop fuckin' hurtin' 'er by actin' like she ain' even in the fuckin' room while ya fawnin' all ova anotha kid ya only known a liddle while! How the fuck do ya think she feels when ya do that afta ya done 'er so fuckin' wrong?! All ya doin' is keepin' 'er hurtin' by fuckin' abandon 'er one second and then admonishin' 'er the next while actin' like some otha kid is a gods damn gift ta mankind! And you want ta fuckin' tell me I don' know what I'm talkin' about? Ya want ta tell me what the fuck it takes ta be a motha? Ya didn' even want 'er in the first place! Ya got a lot a fuckin' balls talkin' ta me like that! Ya got a hell a a lot a fuckin' balls when ya know damn well ya fuckin' doin' ta 'er what the fuck I dealt with! Ya a fuckin' bitch for that, Carol," she seethed before scoffing. "And ya actually think ya can try ta tell me how ta be a motha? At least I know what not ta be in a motha, unlike ya!" Ani threw back at the woman.

Part of it had been said in anger and another in frustration, but she was tired of the rift between Sophia and Carol only getting wider. By now, they might as well be two completely separated continents to each other, one small chain of islands the only thing that allowed them to remain connected. It irked her to no end that she had tried so hard to get Sophia to understand Carol, to bring them closer together and yet Carol was constantly tearing down the bridge Ani was trying to build. She refused to accept Sophia for who she was and who she was becoming instead of the same scared child she had been almost three years ago. Every step in the right direction, Carol took three steps away from Sophia with every opening of her mouth to tear the girl down or question her abilities. While she knew what she said would cut the woman deeply, she didn't care if it made her realize the damage she was doing to Sophia by trying to act like her mother one moment only to pretend she didn't exist the next. She knew all too well how that felt and knew all too well the fear of living with a volatile person like Ed. That was honestly a part of the reason she had latched onto the little girl so quickly when she noticed the way Ed behaved and how Carol started pulling away. The last time she'd actually seen Carol actively caring about what was happening with Sophia was when Ani thought they were going to lose her in the tombs of the prison. Ani couldn't let the girl keep getting stabbed in the heart by Carol, but she also couldn't make the decision for either of them to let go of the other all the while still wanting to protect Sophia. One of them would have to decide, either mother or daughter, or they would have to come to a mutual agreement before any type of real healing would happen for any of the three women involved.

"Ya know, I've been tryin' like hell ta get that liddle girl ta undastand where ya comin' from, why ya pulled away, ta, at the very least, get ova 'er anga at ya! But nah! Every fuckin' time I get through ta 'er, every fuckin' time I talk ta 'er and get 'er on board with tryin' ta move past everythin' and at least be civil with ya, ya go and fuck it all ta fuckin' hell! Fuck, I jus' was tellin' 'er she should try ta forgive ya and then ya go and be a bitch ta 'er all ova again! I'm tired a tryin', Carol! I'm tired a tryin' ta be the good guy for ya ta Phia. Tired a tryin' ta help 'er when ya not even willin' ta try ta help eitha a ya! I'm done! What happens from now on with 'er, I ain' doin' shite for ya! She don' need ta be thinkin' I'm goin' ta side with someone else ova 'er and I don' need remindin' a how that bitch treated me!"

Carol just stood there gaping at Ani before Daryl walked over and grabbed her hand, taking her with him after hearing the exchange while giving Carol a shake of his head to leave things alone for now. He couldn't blame Ani for what she had said but he didn't want her to start getting stressed out if she had to keep talking to Carol. The more she was pushed into anger, the more her body would shake, and the doctor had told her that she needed to try to keep the shaking at bay as much as she could. She was under enough stress between how much she'd worked helping the injured and how much had happened over the last forty eight hours; she didn't need any more from the rift that had grown between Carol and Sophia. It wasn't like he would be able to keep the conflict between the two women at bay forever, either, especially considering one was his wife and one was his best friend. Ani wasn't one to back down once she began to feel strongly about something, and she had obviously been considering the girl her kid for a while now. He'd seen it when he'd found them in the woods and only watched as it cemented itself in her mind the more time she'd spent with the girl. She had become more and more protective of Sophia since they'd gotten to Alexandria and he'd chalked it up to hormones due to pregnancy when they found out how long she had been pregnant. But after Sophia went missing in Alexandria and, in Ani's words, miraculously showed up at the Hilltop, she had become even more serious about how much she wanted to protect the girl. He hadn't even taken into account how her childhood had affected the way she saw Sophia, and now that he thought about it, it was the reason he and Merle had taken to the girl so quickly, too. They'd all been abused in one way, shape, or form, and ever since the farm, Ani had felt like Carol was treating Sophia not only too harshly, but like Carol's attitude towards her own daughter was mirroring her own mother's treatment of her. It was just the first time he realized just how deeply the situation was affecting Ani when she was already dealing with a full plate on top of pregnancy.

"You know you're doin' right by that girl," he told her when they got downstairs, heading outside. "Ain't nothin' more you can do. Ain't nothin' yellin' at Carol'll do, either."

"I know. I'm jus' pissed. I can' keep pretendin' like nothin's wrong with how she's treatin' Phia, let alone how Phia's reactin' ta it all. I can' keep lettin' that liddle girl be hurt by the people that were supposed ta protect 'er. And I can' keep makin' 'er feel guilty when I try ta help 'er undastand where Carol's comin' from. I jus' can'," she replied before she began breaking down. "I fuckin' hate these fuckin' hormones! Ain' neva cried so much in my fuckin' life!"

Daryl just scoffed and pulled her into him, holding her tightly as she began to sob into his shirt all over again, thinking about how she really thought she wasn't an overly emotional person. It was a damn lie, and he knew it, but he couldn't help the small smile on his face as he rested his chin on her head. She had cried plenty over the course of knowing her; when she was pushed to her limits, when she was stressed, when she was scared, when she was in a state of high emotion like now. To be fair, she mostly cried over the problems they'd had in their relationship and when it came to those she held closer to her heart than the others. He had completely expected her to cry over what was happening, especially since she had let everything she'd been holding back go on Carol. That in itself was going to be an issue for him to navigate very carefully if he didn't want her to think too far into things like she had over the summer. He couldn't just let the two women stay at odds with each other when it would only end up in Sophia being caught in between the two. He knew Carol wasn't trying to hurt Sophia and she wasn't really angry at Ani, either, just worried about the girl, even if it wasn't exactly in a way that helped. Daryl could admit that Carol was a bit miffed about how much Ani had expected of the girl, but all the Dixons and even Carl had been expected to be able to fend for themselves at the same age. Even Judith would probably be trained up as soon as she could be; he knew damn well Lou would be taught from the minute he could tie a knot or hold a bow. How the world was now, even how it had been, people couldn't survive without being taught to and kids even more so.

Carol had a different approach to helping the kids stay alive, though, to stay safe, and that was by keeping them behind everyone else. She wanted the adults to do the fighting for the children as much as possible, especially after the prison. She was still blaming herself for what happened with Lizzie and Mika, too, and how she had been the one to teach Lizzie how to use a knife to begin with. Carol had put in a lot of effort to keep those girls safe and yet she had failed miserably in the end, though even Ani had said it wasn't her fault. Hell, Daryl knew he needed to tell Ani what Carol had told him when he'd talked to her while Ani had talked to Sophia. Nothing was as simple as it seemed with Carol and how she was feeling towards either Sophia or Ani. She was beyond jealous of how Sophia looked up to Ani and even more so with how the girl was giving his wife all the affection she used to give Carol. She was angry at herself for trying harder to protect the other kids after watching how Ani was with both Carl and Sophia than she had ever tried with her daughter. She blamed Ani for everything that had happened with the girl since the forest and the farm and knew she took some of that anger out on Sophia unfairly. She also felt guilty for letting Sophia go so easily when she knew she should have fought harder and at the very least tried to be on equal footing with Ani. There were so many things she was feeling towards herself that Carol kept lashing out on Sophia, which just made her feel even worse. Carol hated herself for how she was hurting her daughter and yet the anger she felt towards herself, towards Ani, even towards Sophia herself, it kept making her push the girl even further away than she already had. She felt bad about being more protective of Henry, too, but Sophia didn't need her help and the boy's brother had helped bring her back from the dark place her mind had gone to. Daryl could only hope that Carol would talk to Ani without being accusing and Ani could calm down long enough to talk to her rationally. Knowing how Ani was at the moment, though, he'd be lucky if he could get the two to even look at each other when they were in the same room.

"I'm sorry for yellin' at 'er like that," Ani mumbled into his chest, bringing him back to the present. "I jus'...I'm sick a seein' Phia like that and sick a hearin' Cars yellin' at 'er. I know she's ya best friend. I know. But that don' make it any easia ta try ta get along with 'er."

"Maybe you don't gotta," he told her.

Ani scoffed at that, pulling away and looking up at him, "She's ya best friend, D. How is not gettin' along with 'er somethin' I don' got ta do?"

"Don't gotta be her friend or nothin'. Ain't like you're Gabe's friend."

"Gabe ain' someone I'm goin' ta have ta deal with like I got ta Cars. He ain' tied ta ya or Phia. Carol is."

"Don't mean you gotta like 'er."

"Yeah, well, I don' do well with bein' 'round someone I don' like. Case and point: Gregory," she chuckled before sighing. "I ain' makin' any promises, but I'll try not ta stay angry at 'er. That's the best I can do."

"Can't ask for more'n that," he said, dragging her to sit on the tailgate of one of the trucks and taking a spot beside her. "How're you feelin'?"

"I'm fine, D. I ain' even shakin'," Ani assured Daryl as he started working on fixing one of his bolts beside her. "Might be pissed ta high hell, but I ain' so far gone that I'm goin' ta keep shakin' 'cause a it."

"You better not be lyin'."

"Do ya want me ta sit in ya lap ta show ya?" she laughed, getting him to scoff.

"You just rest up."

"Yes, daddy."

"Stop," he said with a smirk as they both settled in, Daryl with his bolts, Ani cleaning and sharpening her knives, until Tara walked out of the house and over to them. "Hey," he told her.

"Hey," she said while coming up to them. "It's been over a day. I'm still not sick. Doc says I'm cool."

"You're a tough son of a bitch," he commented.

"Some a ya got really fuckin' lucky or got supa fuckin' good immune systems," Ani added.

"Guys, it just means that Dwight shot me with a clean arrow."

"Or it means you got lucky," came the retort. "Could be anything. It's not like a bite. Sometimes nothin' happens."

"Yeah, Sash sliced inta Abe's arm pretty good with a walka bloodied knife and 'e didn' so much as cough."

"Guys..." Tara tried before Daryl cut her off.

"Look, if Dwight knew, could've warned us. Could've sent a message."

"Maybe he couldn't."

"Or maybe 'e could," Ani argued, though the barely contained smile on her face told both of the others she was just being silly.

"He let a whole day go by while our people lay around dyin'."

"Not everyone who got injured got sick. That can't be an accident. He has to be working with someone or done something so that less of our people got sick."

"So what?" Ani spat out. "That bastard don' deserve ta live!"

"I'm not so sure about that anymore," Tara admitted, Ani's face contorting with anger while Daryl chewed his lip and nodded his head, frustrated himself.

"So he just gets a pass?" he asked her. "Is that it?"

"Maybe," she tried to reason.

"He fuckin' killed Denny and ya goin' ta say 'e should live? Are ya fuckin' shite'n me right now?!"

"Look, you said we might need him and we might need him now more than ever, and what I am saying is that if I had killed him, maybe I would be dead right now. You guys do what you gotta do, but know you're doin' it for you. I'm out," she told them before walking away, Daryl watching her go before shaking his head.

"Ya know I'm behind ya a hundred percent, right?" Ani asked him when she noticed the dark look on Daryl's face, reaching out and touching his cheek. "Whateva ya decide. Like I told Maggie; ain' my kill ta make, I know it ain', even though I said I would, but I'm damn well goin' ta be there when you make it."

"I know, baby girl. Come on, got some more work to do."

He lead her back into the house while she handed him one of the knives she'd sharpened as Beth walked up and informed them that Maggie was calling a meeting to go over what they had left as far as supplies went. Ani knew it wasn't going to look good when Merle had brought them a turnip, but finding out that they didn't even have enough food to last a week with the rations at Hilltop and there was no way to fend off another attack had been the last thing she had expected. If Merle and the others weren't able to bring anything in, they would be screwed, although Ani knew Merle would, at the very least, bring in some of the edible plants he found. It wouldn't fill the belly for long, but at least it would keep their strength up until they had enough supplies to properly feed everyone. She knew he'd be bringing back some squirrel, too, since that was the one thing the wilds never seemed to run out of the dang rodents. Ani didn't mind, though, considering that was all she really wanted to eat, anyway, but that didn't mean that squirrels and greens would be enough to feed three different colonies plus the prisoners. Even if they made a stew and watered it down, it would only be enough for a single meal with how many mouths they had to feed. Ani started cussing after Diane told them they didn't have enough bullets to fend off another large-scale attack if and when the Saviors came back. No matter how good of a warning system they had or how much of a head start they could gain, it didn't matter at all if they couldn't fight back.

"Well, maybe we don't gotta worry about that no more," Daryl said, using the knife in his hand to illustrate his point. "At least for now. Maybe goin' hand-to-hand's our only option."

"They can' have a lot a ammo left," Ani agreed. "Not when they didn' use guns in the last fight. I mean, they had ta take a good chunk a what they had ta get through the walkas at the Sanctuary."

"And there's not a lot of places to find more," Diane reasoned.

"Dammit!" Beth shouted at the same time Ani muttered 'fuck' under her breath.

"Eugene," Ani told them.

"They don't need to find more! They have a damn bullet maker now! Eugene made the bullet Rosita used! He can just make more for them," Beth all but growled out.

"You think the Saviors have what he'd need to make them?"

"Abraham took 'im ta a place...some kind a machine shop. If the Saviors don' have what 'e needs at the Sanctuary, Abe could take us ta the place they do," Ani reasoned.

~x~

Sophia was sitting at a table in the shade while she separated herbs from their stems and sorted them into little piles to make making poultice easier. She knew her mother was only a few steps away from her chopping wood and yet neither of them had uttered a single sentence to the other. Sophia was still angry that Carol had yelled at her and also thinking about what she'd overheard. Anyone and everyone in the house had heard Ani yelling and it was really easy to figure out what she had been upset about. That was the whole reason Sophia was sitting tucked away in an obscure corner; she wanted to be alone and stop getting all the looks she was inside the house. It had been bad enough that several people outside of their core group had heard about her and Carol's grievances with each other after Tobin. Now, everyone seemed to be pitying or avoiding her as if she was some delicate little flower about to break down simply because she got yelled at by her mother. She was beyond sick of the way everyone had started treating her since the night before and just wanted to stay out of the way. Of course, she would never be that lucky after Carol not so secretly followed after her under the pretense of chopping wood. Sophia had known what her mother was planning, and so had purposefully sat with her back to the chopping stump so that Carol couldn't easily start up a conversation with her. It didn't stop Sophia from being able to hear the King talking to her after he walked out of the house; Henry had gone missing after letting the Saviors out during the walker attack the night before.

"The escapees could be en route to the Sanctuary," he told her as he stopped in front of Carol, Sophia looking over her shoulder before rolling her eyes and shaking her head, going back to sorting. "They are Henry's quarry, and Henry ours."

"There could be another attack. Maggie needs me here."

"You can leave," Ezekiel told her, "but you choose not to. Tell me why."

"Just go," she heard her mother say quietly.

"You think he's already dead. Is that what you believe?" he asked her, the disappointment and sadness evident in his voice. "Or can you not allow yourself to believe otherwise? You told me to pretend until it is so but you cannot?"

"It may not be so."

"I fear for Henry! You who I thought were the bravest person I met," Ezekiel told Carol, Sophia rolling her eyes. "No. You...you're stopped by cowardice."

"Understatement of the year," Sophia muttered under her breath.

She didn't even bother paying any more attention to what was happening behind her as she continued to sort her herbs and the thunk of the ax resumed. It was infuriating to think that the woman would rather think people dead than even try to hope that the person was alive. Sophia still couldn't understand how Ani could try to defend Carol to her and then turn around and shout at Carol about how she treated her. All that stuff about letting go of the anger and forgiving to move on; she couldn't even wrap her head around what she'd meant. If it meant letting her mother just do whatever it was she did, well, it was pretty plain that Carol was just going to keep going through kids only to believe they were dead as soon as they disappeared. Why would she keep bothering getting involved with a child if all she was going to do was run away from them for no good reason other than she wanted to? She never listened to kids, either, always wanting to tell them exactly what they could and couldn't do to suit her own picture of the world. It had been that way back in the before times, when she would try to get her mother to leave her father or at least let her get away, and it was still that way now. Always wanting to tell Henry to sit out the fight because he didn't know how to fight, even though she could easily show him how to and protect him when she did. Always wanting to tell her what she can or can't do all because she hated how good she'd gotten at fighting and surviving. All the anger Sophia was feeling at her mother compounded, though, when Morgan walked by and her mother started talking to him before heading towards the gate after the man, though not before Sophia slammed her hands onto the table and stormed off towards the house.

"Of course, she ain't gonna go after the kid. Of course, she doesn't believe he's alive. She never did me," Sophia told Carl when she got inside and started grabbing her stuff. "If anyone asks where I am, tell 'em I'm doin' the last thing for my mother."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm goin' after Henry. I'll find him and bring 'im back. I'll do that."

"Are you sure it's safe? What if the Saviors-"

"I can take care of the Saviors, Carl! I'm not askin' permission," Sophia shot at him before going soft. "I'm beggin' you not to say anythin' unless you're asked about where I'm goin'. I have to do this. I have to prove her wrong. That kids can be strong. So I'm goin'. And you're stayin' here to help out, got it?"

"Alright, just...just be safe," he told her, pulling her in for a hug. "I'll give you as much time as I can."

"Thank you."

Sophia hugged him back before he gave her a kiss on the cheek, making her blush and smile while pushing him away just a bit. She left Barrington house and headed towards the gate, telling Kal that she was just going to go do some hunting and foraging since they were running low on supplies. He had no problem opening the gate and letting her go out while telling her to be careful. She just waved him off and headed towards the woods to start looking for Henry's tracks while also grabbing various edibles on her way and sticking them in her shoulder bag. It didn't take very long at all to pick up his trail, Sophia once again rolling her eyes at how obvious it was. She didn't even know what he was doing out here when it was as plain as day that he didn't belong in the woods. He was just angry and jealous of her and Carl and how they could fight while he was just a regular kid with only a little bit of training with a stick, like Morgan. And he wasn't even very good with the damn thing; he didn't have the strength to be able to do much other than piss an adult off and she wondered if he even knew to go for the back of the knees. There were a lot of things that could happen to a kid who didn't know what they were doing in the woods or how to fight. On top of that, how the hell was he supposed to find his way back to the Hilltop when it was pretty clear from his tracks that he didn't even know how to navigate the woods.

It wasn't even heading in a straight line; every time he had to go around a tree, he would veer off just a little bit in one direction or the other. She was surprised that the boy had even made it to the road with how badly he'd made his way through the trees. The problem was, once they hit the road, it was a little harder to find his tracks and when she finally did, they were among fresh walker tracks. She once heaved a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes, wondering if Ani had gone through so much trouble when she was chasing after her all that time ago. Honestly, the parallels of the situations were rather ridiculous considering the only difference was that she'd run into the woods out of fear; Henry did so out of sheer stupidity. After the fight and how Morgan had behaved, the stupid boy had gone off the deep end and decided that he was going to make sure his brother's killer was dead. If he had known which of the Saviors had killed his brother, Sophia could have understood his actions better. The fact that he had taken a highly dangerous weapon to a highly dangerous group of people without knowing who to point it at just showed how immature the boy was compared to her and Carl. Even Enid was a better choice to be out in the woods than a boy hellbent on vengeance who didn't know the first thing about keeping his bearings.

Sophia followed the tracks for a good while, killing any walkers she came across, before she could hear shouting that had her cringing and remembering her first time coming against walkers alone. She had been terrified by the two chasing her and had even begged Rick to shoot them while frantically reaching for his gun as he tried explaining why he couldn't. And after he had left her in the little hole under a ridge and tree, out of sight of the walkers while he splashed water at them to get their attention, she'd tried running back to the highway only to get scared by a sound. She hadn't even seen anything and had veered off simply out of fear and wound up finding herself being chased by another walker. Her screams had just brought more and more to where she was and she knew she would have been torn apart if it hadn't been for Ani finding her. Sophia realized then that it wasn't just anger at or wanting to prove herself to Carol; she couldn't leave a kid out in the woods anymore than Ani had been able to leave her. While wanting to show her mother up was a large part of why she was out in the woods, another part really was a little worried about Henry. That was why she was running towards the shouting just like Ani and Rick had run after her, jumping into the stream without a second's thought as she pulled her knives.

The parallels between their first adventures in the woods on their own became even more comical when she found him hiding under a tree like she once had. He was using the roots hanging down from the outcropping he had blocked himself off in to keep three walkers at bay. Only one of the walkers noticed her coming as she splashed through the water and turned around, only to be met with a knife in the eye. She wasted no time in retrieving the blade and moving onto the next walker, pulling it by its collar until she could get it to fall down into the water while a fourth was moving up the stream towards them. Sophia was grabbed by the third walker and immediately ducked down, throwing the thing off balance as she flipped her blade around and held it up behind her. As predicted, the walker fell right onto the blade, allowing her to roll it off of her as the fourth finally reached them. She had to scramble away from it and fell back into the water herself, taking in a mouthful and breathing a bit in. Fighting back the coughing she wanted to do and working with water rolling off her face made it difficult to properly get into any kind of stance. Her vision was slightly blurry, but she could still see where the walker was and had her knife securely in her hand as she charged it. Sophia managed to knock it down with her before she straddled it and drove her blade down into its skull.

"Are you fuckin' stupid?!" she asked, rounding on Henry. "Do you know what could have happened if no one came for you?! Or if the wrong people came for you?!"

"I'm not scared of the Saviors," Henry said petulantly.

"And I'm not talking about the Saviors!" Sophia shouted back. "Have you ever been outside the walls of your home? Have you ever been in the woods? In a fight? Killed a walker? Shot a gun? Have you ever had to kill someone because, if you didn't, you'd be worse than killed?! Because I have! Carl has! Do you think the Saviors are the first people we've fought against?! You don't know a damn thing!"

"They killed my-"

"They've killed a lot of us, you stupid little brat!" Sophia shouted at him. "They've killed my friends! Do you see me or Carl or Ani or Rick or anyone else lettin' that shit get to them?! No! We've all lost someone and we all gotta live with it! Hell, I got told off for being angry at you! So stop being a whiney little kid and get a damn clue!"

"You can't tell me what to do. We're almost the same age! And if you can do it, so can I," he told her, making her hold back a scream of frustration.

"I've been fighting since this started, you dumbass!" she shouted back at him. "I know what the fuck I'm doin' out here! Do you even know the way back to Hilltop?! Do you even know how to get a walker down to your level? Or how to use a gun? How to handle a machete? Hell, a knife?! What do you know that makes you think you're just as good as me?!"

"I know I am."

"You don't know shit," she denied. "You're nothin' but a weak little boy tryin' to prove he's someone he's not! You're not me! You're not Carl! The only thing you're good at is bein' a burden to everyone else wantin' to go against everythin' Ani said, the King, hell, even Carol! All you care about is yourself and what you want! Did you even think about how King would feel after everythin' he's already lost?! Or about the people you could've made come after you and their safety? Did you think about anyone other than yourself when you tried to shoot the Saviors in the pen? Did you?!"

"I..." Henry said, trying to find something to say, but the look on the girl's face made him hang his head in shame at the truth she'd told. "No."

"And that's why you're such a stupid little kid. People know I'm out here. I wasn't stupid enough to come out here without someone knowing where I was so no one got worried or came after me unless I didn't go back! What was your plan to get back to begin with? Can you follow a trail? Do you know what direction you've been goin'? What you can eat out here if you get lost? How to filter water? What about how to hunt? Do you know anything about what it takes to be out here?" she asked, the boy's silence the only answer she needed. "You're so stupid," she sighed, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. "Let's go back to Hilltop. Try to keep up and follow right, 'cause I'm not slowin' down or stoppin' for you." They walked in silence for a little bit, all the while Henry looking at her every once in a while until she snapped at him, "What?!"

"Why are you so angry at Carol? She's strong and is always looking out for people. Why don't you like her?"

"She's my mother," Sophia told him with a scowl. "But she cares about everyone else. But then when I do somethin' she doesn't like, she starts in on me actin' like she's my mom again. I hate it."

"Why?"

"Because she don't care that I'm not like you," she spat at him, stopping to look at him. "I'm not weak, like you are. I know how to fight, how to kill. I don't need to be protected. I don't need to learn anythin' to stay alive. You don't know shit about any of it. I'm not the weak little girl she raised, so she doesn't care about me. She only cares about herself unless you're a weak kid. Then she gives up if somethin' happens."

"No she doesn't! She got Ezekiel to fight! She helped save him! She helped me!"

"And to do that she ran away from me! If she hadn't just left because she got scared, she wouldn't have been there! You might still be in the Kingdom right now if she hadn't shown up! Your brother could be alive! You wouldn't have lost so many people!" Sophia shot back before sighing again. "You don't know what changed 'cause she left me anymore than I know what would have happened if she had bothered lookin' for me when I got lost. But she didn't try with me and she didn't try with you. All she cares about is herself," she told him, cutting him off when he opened his mouth. "Think what you want. I don't care what you say, it's not changing my mind."

"Why?"

Sophia scoffed, "My mother abandoned me for you. For Mika. For Lizzie. For Sam. For Tobin, Alexandria, the Kingdom, Ezekiel. I had to lose the only family I had left from before so you could have your role model. If it hadn't been for Ani treatin' me like I was her kid, teachin' me, helpin' me, I'd have no one, and you'd stillhave my mother."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care."

~x~

Carol walked out of Barrington house shortly after she'd calmed down from Ani's tirade at her, still reeling from not even being able to defend herself from the younger woman. It wasn't as if what she had said was wrong, either, but being told that she was from a woman almost half as young as herself was still ridiculous. The woman was only pregnant; she didn't have any real experience as to what it meant to be a mother and yet rightfully told her off for how she acted as one. Carol hated that Ani was always calling her out on her actions and yet had still been trying to get Sophia to understand what had happened between the two of them. While she wasn't too thrilled at finding out that the younger woman had been teaching her daughter how to kill her father, it really was more than she'd ever done. On top of that, Henry had gone missing and Ani had accused her of caring more for the boy than for her daughter, and Carol knew it was true. The boy had managed to worm his way into her heart looking up to her to teach him and show him the way much the same as she had watched Sophia do the same with Ani. That didn't mean it was any easier a pill to swallow as she saw Sophia walking over to a bench and sitting down with a basket in hand.

She kept watch over the girl under the pretense of chopping wood until Ezekiel came up and implied that the two of them try to find Henry. Carol could see the disappointment on his face as she told him what she truly thought; Henry was probably already dead. Sophia had been immediately chased after by Rick and Ani while Henry had disappeared at the same time as the prisoners and the walker attack. They had no way of knowing what way the boy had gone and no way of knowing if he was even still alive after several hours had gone by without any sign of him. Ezekiel and the Kingdomers had looked everywhere that they could think of that Henry could have been, but they had all known what he was doing. He was angry at the fact that Sophia and Carl had been in the fight while he'd been forced to stay in the attic under the pretense of protecting the very few who couldn't fight. The boy had wanted to prove himself when he tried to find the Savior that killed his brother and it had backfired completely. They didn't even know if the Saviors themselves had taken them with him for whatever reason, probably as fodder to get away from walkers. Carol knew there was no reason to believe the boy was alive when the only reason they even knew he was missing was because one of the prisoners who stayed behind to help in the attack told Ezekiel Henry had gone after the others. She had gone back to chopping wood while her mind continued to spiral into a darker place than she'd gone when she'd thought Sophia was dead when she caught sight of Morgan. The man had been having a lot of problems and it was evident on his face that he was lost and confused as he headed towards the gate.

She dropped her ax and walked up to him without him even stopping to look at her, "You goin' lookin' for him?"

"For them," Morgan corrected.

"You don't have to, Morgan."

"I do. I could've before and I should've. I was supposed to," he told her. "See, we're the same, and I was supposed to. And I thought that...thought I had to," Morgan chuckled. "Thought it would be different," he said before heading to the gate.

"Morgan," she called him back. "Fine. But I'm coming with you," she told him, walking over to where she had left her gear.

She lead him out into the woods without bothering to try to look for a trail, not that she was a great tracker to begin with. Carol could barely make out a walker from a person in the woods and most of the hunting she'd done so far had been with Daryl; she hadn't needed to learn how to track. Ezekiel was right, though, that the Saviors would most likely be heading towards the Sanctuary and that there were only so many routes they could take to get back. There was no way that the escapees wouldn't attempt to get back to the Sanctuary after being left high and dry by Negan. He'd told them that if they could get themselves out, they'd be welcomed back into the fold; they were as good as dead otherwise. They had no weapons, no food, no water, nothing that would actually allow them to survive without going somewhere they already knew they could get them. Looking at the ground, though, even if she couldn't track, it was pretty obvious that there were more tracks than there had been escapees. Carol knew they were more likely to find pieces of the Saviors than they were to find the people themselves.

"This is our best bet," she told Morgan as she lead him to the road. "It'd make sense they'd stay near the road they'd take to get there. Fifty-fifty chance they'd be..." she said before trailing off, something on the ground catching her eye.

"What is it?" Morgan asked.

"Turnip," Carol said, showing him the vegetable. "They were on this side of the road."

Morgan looked through the trees intently before his face became concerned and he mumbled, "Henry. Henry!"

He took off running through the trees shouting the boy's name in more and more worry sounding in his voice while his feet carried him even faster. Carol was worried about the man and couldn't help but wonder if she had seemed as out of sorts when she'd ran from Alexandria as Morgan was right now. She knew he was worried about Henry and that his mind had started breaking when Benjamin had died; his death had been the catalyst to get her back into the fight. The young man had repeatedly checked on her, even when she had told him not to, and had followed her into the woods under the pretense of practicing. Carol always knew that he had just been checking up on her well being and trying to make sure that she was protected whether she liked it or not. That was half the reason why she had taken to protecting Henry before the attack on the Kingdom that had left them all stranded at the Hilltop. She hadn't wanted Ezekiel to lose anyone else, either, and the attraction she felt for the man made her want to help keep an eye on the boy as well. The last bit of why she had tried so hard to keep him out of the fight was because she wanted to shield him from it as much as possible until he was ready to fight for himself. Carol had failed Sophia by not letting her fight and not showing her how to while she had failed Lizzie and Mika by teaching Lizzie how to fight and missing the warning signs of how she thought about the walkers. She had been bound and determined to not make the same mistakes with Henry, to teach him herself and to see for herself that he was well and truly prepared to take on the world. Yet she had failed him like she had all the others by not keeping an eye on him and making sure he stayed where he was supposed to and instead spent time reminiscing with Tobin. She would never be able to raise a child right, let alone keep a child safe, and Henry's disappearance only reinforced that thought.

She followed after Morgan, catching up to him as he began shouting, "You are not here! You weren't supposed to be there. You were..." he stopped talking and looked down, nodding his head before looking over to Carol and telling her, "He's dead. You know he is."

"I didn't come out here to look for him," she replied, trying to ignore the pit of guilt forming in her gut. "I came out here to keep an eye on you."

"Yeah, I've seen it," he sighed. "You save people. I've seen it again and again. But you can't save the dead, Carol."

"You're not dead."

"I know. Not me. I don't die. I just see it. Again and again. Again and again. And even when I look away, I still see it," he said before walking past Carol, noting a dead walker and an obvious path through the underbrush. "They came through here. Must be a shortcut. Straight line to the road ahead."

They followed the path and, sure enough, the road came into sight in short order and the path they had so far been able to follow was lost. They had no way of knowing where the Saviors would end up at because they didn't know where all the safehouses they had available were. For all they knew, the Saviors had headed away from the Sanctuary to gear up and rest after a night of running before resuming their journey. If that was the case, Carol knew that she and Morgan were more likely to be attacked from behind than do the attacking themselves. They had to play it both safe and smart if they were going to catch up to the escapees without leaving themselves open to an attack. It would be easier said than done under the circumstances, and Morgan's mind being in shreds greatly hindered and endangered any plan that could be made. Matters were even further complicated by a large herd of walkers blocked the path through the leaves that the Saviors had left, especially since it was just two of them and getting the attention of the herd could send it towards Hilltop.

"We should wait," Carol told Morgan. "Let it pass."

"Trail goes straight through. We could lose it," he replied, heading to walk right towards the walkers.

"We could lose more than the trail," she tried to reason before stopping in her tracks at the sight of an impaled walker. "Morgan. That stick. It's Henry's."

She stood frozen at the sight as Morgan walked up to it and pulled the stick out and pushed it right back through the walker's eye in anger. They both stood there thinking about what it meant that the stick was there, in a walker, rather than with the boy it was supposed to be with. They were on the right track not only to finding the Saviors, but also Henry, or what was left of him. Carol couldn't help herself when she thought about the fact that Sophia had made it out of the woods all those months ago. If she went after Henry, if she followed the blood trail the walker had left, would she find him alive, too? Was she even willing to risk finding nothing more than his dead body or, worse, his walker? And what if she found nothing at all; would that mean he was dead or alive or taken or just lost? If he was alive, would she be able to keep him that way long enough to be able to help him survive, as she should have done with Sophia? She hated comparing the two children, but the similarities they had, or rather, what she saw of her Sophia in Henry, made it difficult not to see how closely their situations were. It wasn't just that Henry was young and didn't know how to keep himself alive out in the wilds, it was how scared he was at not being good enough. How he looked up to her like Sophia used to, with the same eyes that Sophia now looked at Ani with. How he was always following her and asking her to teach him how to fight and how to shoot, how to survive in a world he wasn't meant to be in. Carol had to know, even if she knew, she had to follow that trail; even when Morgan looked at her with a sense of finality, she couldn't let herself believe the boy wasn't still alive.

"Morgan, wait," she told the man when he walked away. "It came from the other road. We go that way, maybe-maybe we can find him."

"We take that road, you know what we'll find," he retorted.

"But I don't. I decided-I decided what it'd mean. But I won't know unless I go...unless I try. You can try, too."

"No," he denied. "No, I can't. You save people. I watch 'em die. I have to. I'm supposed to."

"When I tried to run, you found me," she told him emotionally, trying to get him to go with her rather than head towards the walker herd. "You saved me. You knew I could come back. And you can, too."

"That wasn't me. I'm not strong like you. I was there that whole time, watchin' 'em, knowin' that somethin' would happen," he said as Carol watched him start to break down. "I knew it. I saw it. I was waitin' for it to happen, and then it did, like it..." he trailed off before looking down. "Like it always does. So I have to. I have to kill 'em, I have to."

"Morgan," she said quietly as he handed her the stick before walking away. "Morgan!"

When he didn't turn back, she had no choice but to leave him to his own devices and let him go after the Saviors as she turned towards the woods in the opposite direction. She had a few hours of light left and the chances of finding Henry would dwindle the longer she waited, so she couldn't afford to wait for the man to come back to his senses. All she could do was try to follow the trail, finding fresh walker blood on a tree not long after she walked into the woods. Carol's heart dropped into her stomach when she came upon a downed walker considering she could tell it wasn't a stick or a rock that had killed it. There had obviously been a blade shoved through its temple and the find had her running in a panic through the woods in the same direction she had been. She couldn't accept the thought that he was dead nor the fear that he had been taken by the escapees. Carol was practically in tears as she ran through the trees, her chest beginning to constrict in her panic. She'd failed another child she cared for by letting him out of her sight even for a minute while she was busy bothering about her own needs again. She was stopped in her tracks, though, before sprinting to the two kids coming through the trees, the young boy running to her as well.

"Carol!" Henry cried. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Wha-how?" Carol asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I went after him when you wouldn't," Sophia told her as she walked up behind him.

"You...Thank you," Carol told her. "Thank you, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to you both. I was wrong. I was so wrong and I see it now. You can both survive and I'm so, so sorry."

"It's gonna be dark soon. We should get back to the Hilltop."

Sophia walked along in silence, leading her mother and Henry through the trees towards home, all the while trying to compose her thoughts. Everything she'd learned since the world had gone to hell, everything that she had been through, it was all more than she had ever thought she could do. Thinking about it all and thinking about the people who had been there the most for her in her life, honestly been there, teaching her and guiding her; those people were all back at the Hilltop. All the people that were important to her now were probably worried sick about her whereabouts and waiting for her to get back home. And they wouldn't even be angry with how she'd left; they'd understand and just ask that she let them know beforehand next time. She wasn't sure why she'd left it to Carl to tell them, but she didn't want anyone to offer coming with her this time. Sophia had to prove to herself that she didn't need Carol and prove once and for all to Carol that she really was the stronger of the two. It wasn't that she wanted to gain Carol's affection anymore; that last little bit of hope had died when she'd refused to go after Henry the same way she hadn't gone after her all that time ago on the highway. Ani had gone after her and Daryl had found them while her mother had sat back at camp talking about making dinner like she wasn't even worried about her. It didn't make sense to her back then, why her mother hadn't gone after her, but now it really didn't matter. Sophia took a deep breath and collected her thoughts as they walked through the gates of the Hilltop and Henry went running to Ezekiel and Ani walked down the steps towards them.

"You know you were wrong now. That kids aren't weak unless they're taught to be. I think...I think you've known for a while, just didn't want to admit it," Sophia told Carol, both of them stopping. "That's why you're always trying with other kids. That's why you don't really care about me anymore. They're alive to you."

"You're alive-"

"Just shut up already!" Sophia yelled, Ani stopping at hearing the raised voice and moving to sit on a picnic table to give them their space. "It's not me listenin' to you right now! You're gonna listen to me for once in your goddamn life! I don't care how you feel! Whether you think your daughter died or not! Because she did! Just like my mother did! Because you're not her! You're not the woman who raised me, the one who taught me to cower and hide. No, you taught every other kid how to live but me. I hated you for that. I hated how you kept pushin' me away while pullin' every other kid closer. I hated how you told people I was dead. I hated how you hid the truth until you were forced to say anythin' about me. I hated that I wasn't good enough," she admitted in a small voice. "But...I just don't care anymore. There's no point. Henry needs you. I don't. Henry is still a kid. I'm not. Henry's the kid you can raise to be strong like you are now. You should be his mom, not mine."

"Sophia, I will always be your mother," Carol told her with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, but you're not my mom," she told her, understanding what Merle had been talking about, now, too. "The person who was my mom died, just like the daughter I was died. But I have a new mom. You can be a new mom, too. You should be. Just...just be a good mom to him. Do a better job with him than you did me."

Whoo-hoo! New content! About damn time, right?