To my dear Guest: Yes, Daryl was definitely in the wrong, but he's also a very protective person and righted his wrongs by apologizing and telling Carol off for what she'd said. I try to keep in mind that he hasn't had very many friends that lasted and is also still an idiot like Ani when it comes to being in a relationship. They might have been together for a while now, but they're still navigating the waters, especially with Lou in the picture now.
Queen: It's only going to get worse from here...ROFLMAO!
top story: Just wait...I have plans. ^_^ I can't say much more than that because I'm not going to give away the plot, but I have plans. ^_^
"You sure you're okay with this, baby girl?" Daryl asked Ani as they left the Sanctuary and headed to the courtyard.
"Nah, but I got ta. He's in good hands and we're only goin' ta be gone for a couple hours, tops. He don' need feedin' since 'e jus' got done eatin' and we'll be back 'fore 'e needs ta eat again. He's sleepin' and has gotten used to bein' 'round Merle. He's almost six months old and we haven' left 'is side for more'n five minutes. We got ta at least try, don' we?" she responded, though she was still constantly looking back towards the windows where their room would be.
"I don't know. Just goin' to drop this shit off and comin' right back, right?"
"Yeah. Jus' takin' Mags this shite 'e's grown out a so she can have it for Hershel. The babe's only 'bout two months now and I don' know how much shite she's got for 'im and I want ta see how 'e's doin' and how she's fairin'. Got ta take that ethanol there, too, and hope it's 'nough for 'em ta get anotha field cleared out. Hilltop's got the most space for growin' crops, so they need the fuel. Can' keep sendin' workas out there when half the time it ends in a fight. Only a couple hours, then 'e's right back in our arms."
"Alright. Get in," Daryl said, revving up the engine of the truck they were using while Ani stood and stared at the building. "I can go by myself. Let you stay here with Lou."
"Nah, D. I got ta...I got ta get used ta goin' elsewhere," Ani told him with a sigh. "I got ta trust that Merle and Phia can handle takin' care a 'im for a couple hours if I'm eva goin' ta get shite goin' right with the medicine station. They've fucked up 'nough shite that I'm goin' ta have ta start all ova with the new batch a herbs they managed to grow at the Hilltop anyways. We got ta do this."
"Alright then. Come on. Sooner we get there, sooner we can get back."
Ani hummed in response and tore her gaze away from the Sanctuary as she entered the cab and cuddled up closer to her husband. She was as tense as to be expected for being a mother and leaving her child in the care of others, but she knew she needed to do it if she was ever going to be a good mother as well as being more than just a mother. One too many times over the course of the last few months had she heard about mothers who had gotten lost in their identity as a mom. One too many times, there were tales of being burnt out and resenting a child and falling into a cycle of depression because all the woman had become was a mother. Ani didn't want that for herself because she knew that she couldn't be just a mother for the rest of her life. She was a wife, a person, a martial artists, an apothecary, and she was still also expected to claim a semblance of leadership all on top of being a mother. There was no way she could allow herself to fall into the anxiety she constantly felt at the thought of leaving Lou in the hands of others and she knew damn well Merle wouldn't let anyone near the child while she was gone. Saying he was overprotective of Sophia was one thing, but the second anyone touched Ani or Daryl when Lou was in their arms, Merle was set off in a tirade of curses about whoever did it needing to watch where they were going. If anyone in the Sanctuary was more worried about the safety of their son than Daryl and Ani were, it was Merle Dixon.
They sped down the road towards the Hilltop with the expectation of dropping off several outfits and a few comforts that Ani and Lou no longer used to Maggie. Ani knew that Maggie had plenty when it came to what she needed for her own son, but she also wanted to see Hershel rather than just hearing about him. She also wanted to see with her own eyes how Tara and Beth's relationship was growing rather than the twisted way Abraham spoke about it. It wasn't that he spoke negatively, but he also didn't make it sound cute or touching when he would comment about them being a couple. Wondering how the two went about 'uggin' bumpies' was not what she wanted to talk about when it came to the two women's courting was going. According to Carol, it was going well, and according to Rick and Michonne they were a match made in heaven, but it was still something she wanted to see for herself. If she was being honest, before the war ended and she'd been shipped off to the Sanctuary with Daryl, Ani had been rooting for the two to get together when she noticed them getting closer. Going to the Hilltop today was a threefold quest; learn how to be away from her child for a short amount of time, drop off items while picking up more herbs they hadn't been able to grow at the Sanctuary, and checking on the relationships that had developed in the time they were away.
It had been seven months since she'd last seen the Hilltop, ten since the war had ended and things had changed according to Rick's wishes. Summer was passing by fast with the nights starting to turn cold again and the ethanol station Eugene had gotten set up was in full swing with the sorghum growing high in the above ground beds they'd built. There were some problems with crows for a while, and Ani intended to ask Maggie about how to stop them from ravishing their meager crops while she was there. She needed to find out if there was anything more that they could do because scarecrows alone hadn't been enough and the people weren't thrilled about being attacked when trying to shoo the birds away. The thought of the use of scarecrows had been another source of contention within the Sanctuary. Workers were fine with using blankets and pillows that had gone really bad and clothes that could no longer be used to make the scarecrows, but the old soldiers wanted to go back to using walkers. The problem with using walkers was that the smell was horrible and wafted into the Sanctuary when they opened the doors to allow for airflow and the fact that they could decompose and fall apart in or near the beds. If that happened, the crops would fail and produce less and less yield, which would affect their very tenuous agreement with the Hilltop. It was bad enough that the spring had been hard with winter lasting later than expected and then a torrential amount of rain falling. They couldn't afford to have anything stop the flow of goods from the Hilltop and the Kingdom when the Sanctuary couldn't feed its own number.
Rick had managed to talk both the Hilltop and the Kingdom into giving a portion of their food stores in exchange for receiving tinctures, tonics, ointments, and, most importantly, ethanol. They also would need to grant them a portion of their herb caches for the medical supplies, but as no one in their settlements knew how to make what Ani could, they didn't have much of a choice. Ani was all too happy to try to set up a barter system where goods were traded for goods, but the other settlements were still wary of whether or not to send supplies to the Sanctuary. Only Alexandria was completely willing, and they had the fewest mouths to feed as well as the smallest amount of goods to send their way. Ani couldn't blame either the Kingdom nor the Hilltop for their reluctance considering the degree of pain the Saviors had caused their people. The Kingdom had lost almost all of their fighters thanks to the Saviors while the Hilltop had suffered for longer than all the rest at their hands. Sure, they had taken in prisoners during the war that had, eventually, proven that they weren't as bad as they were believed to be, but that was because only a handful of said prisoners had been soldiers. The majority had been workers sent to the Satellite outpost to bolster numbers and reinforce the outpost after Alexandria's attack on it. It was only because of that that the Hilltop's group had been able to force a surrender and capture the better part of the forces at that outpost to begin with. The other outposts were all soldiers and knew exactly what they were doing and had been willing todie for Negan's cause, and that's exactly what they did. Ani understood why the Kingdom and the Hilltop wanted to keep their supplies for themselves and knew that it was only a matter of time before things began falling apart.
It didn't matter how much Rick tried to fight for peace and equality among the settlements nor how much time passed from the end of the war. The damage the Saviors had inflicted on two of the three remaining outposts from the war wasn't going to just disappear like he was hoping for. The soldiers were still hesitant to the new world order even after almost a year and the workers were just as complacent as they had been under Negan's reign. Of course, a good amount of soldiers were giving it a genuine try, like Nate, Matthew, Laura, Arat and those that had been closest to them, but then there were soldiers like Joe, Nick, and especially Regina, who were still trying to do things closer to Negan's way. They were the ones that kept trying to use walkers as scarecrows despite Ani and Daryl's insistence that they not and even after Gavin had come back and tried to get them in line, things hadn't gone very well. Daryl, Ani, and Eugene were in charge with Jerry and Merle acting as seconds in command, but it was only due to Rick's continued presence that they were able to keep things from resorting to a brawl like the last time they had gone out of hand. His oddly intervaled visits were the only reason that things had not fallen back into that chaos, though there were still signs about Negan being randomly put up. Two months had passed since the last time there had been a major fight, but that hadn't stopped the continued support of Negan's way versus Rick's for those that use to have and still wanted it all.
"Ya think 'e's still sleepin'?" she asked Daryl as they got closer to the Hilltop.
"We got the walkies. Why don't you call in and ask yourself?"
"Oh yeah!" Ani cried in happiness, opening the glove compartment and grabbing out the walkie, pressing the call button. "Merle, ya there?"
"What do you want?" his voice rang out over the walkie.
"How's Lou doin'?"
"How do ya think he's doin'?! He's fuckin' fine! You think he's the first kid I've looked after?"
"I was jus' askin' a fuckin' question, ya fuckin' prick! Don't be an asshole or we won' leave Lou with ya again! First time we've fuckin' left 'im in five fuckin' months. We're allowed ta be worried! Now how the fuck is our boy doin'?!"
"He's still fuckin' sleepin', alright? Barely fuckin' moved, though he farted louder than an old geezer shittin' 'imself."
"Sounds about right," Daryl said, making Ani laugh. "Tell him we just got to the Hilltop and we'll let him know when we're headin' back."
"D says we'll let ya know 'fore we start headin' back. Jus' got 'ere and should only be stayin' for 'bout an hour," she called. "Let us know if 'e wakes up. Won' take us but twenty minutes ta get back if 'e does."
"No shit, Sherlock. You've only been gone that long. Bring back some tomatoes, will ya? And some more garlic!"
Ani's face got really bright when he said that and she quickly called back over, "Ya makin' me some 'sghetti?"
"I'm makin' SPA-ghetti. Can't believe a twenty five year old can't fuckin' pronounce spaghetti right."
"Fuck off, Mer-man! I'll make sure ta make some rolls when I get back ta go 'long with it. Call us when Lou wakes up."
"Will do, fox."
Daryl snorted a laugh at Merle's callsign for his wife, a way to forever show how much he thought she had been a vixen and how that hadn't changed even though they were family now. Merle had gotten drunk a few weeks back with some of the others off of moonshine he'd started making and admitted that he still blamed Ani for coming in between him and Daryl way back in Atlanta. If she hadn't knocked his ass out, he might still have a hand and the pair might not have been separated for so long. Then again, he also admitted that if she hadn't have done that, he'd still be an addict and an intolerable asshole without realizing he wasn't the only one handed a shit hand. He'd managed to make the most of life because of that 'damned little fox' and he had used that as her callsign ever since. Much to Ani's chagrin, he'd started calling her a fox after she had caught him drinking and started berating him for getting into the moonshine. That's when the verbal vomit had started about what he blamed her for and, while he didn't remember it, he'd also thanked her for 'taming his brother.' Daryl had never before been so embarrassed or enraged, let alone entertained, by his brother's words and actions and he and Ani had ribbed him until he'd passed out. Merle had hidden for two days before he came out and pretended he didn't know what had gone down. They all went along with it, though they knew he really did remember considering the fact that he had been calling Ani a fox ever since them.
"That man is a fuckin' dumbass," Ani said as the gates to the Hilltop opened for them.
The welcome they received had been lukewarm until Ani and Daryl stepped out of the truck instead of Arat, DJ, or one of the few other Saviors they trusted to make deliveries. Most of the deliveries so far had been of medicine as they had only just been able to harvest enough corn for the ethanol. Fuel reserves were starting to run low and the Hilltop had needed it more than any of the other settlements. They had put in the first request since their tractor had begun to run out of fuel and, without the ethanol, they wouldn't be able to keep working their fields. Hilltop was the one that was providing the most support to the Sanctuary, much to Maggie's dismay. She still wanted to see the place closed forever, the Saviors scattered, and Negan dead, no matter what that meant to Rick's dream of a better future. Ani couldn't say that she felt any different, though, considering there were still Negan supporters at the Sanctuary and they were beginning to get bolder. Time went on and people changed as the workers becoming complacent simply because they were still living the same life they had under Negan. Yet, because Negan was still alive and kicking in Alexandria, the soldiers that regretted and disliked the new world order were less than enthusiastic to continue having less than they were used to by now. Last year in August, they were living the high life with air conditioning, plenty of fruits and vegetables, all kinds of luxuries like liquor and the best medicine, and whatever else they wanted. They were just as angry about that as they were the lack of guns they were in charge of, seeing as Rick had taken all their guns away after the war ended. Neither Hilltop nor the Sanctuary were happy with how things had been playing out and nothing short of a miracle was going to change that fact.
"Well, damn," Abraham's voice popped out from behind Ani. "What brings you two all the way to the Hilltop?"
"Fuel delivery," Daryl said, pulling a couple small cans of gas out from the bed of the truck. "Got some meds. Clothes for Hershel."
"And I wanted ta see how all the lovebirds are doin' and grab the herbs we're expectin'," Ani told him.
"Tara and Beth are off on a scavenging trip like Rick and Michonne tryin' to find more guns," he informed them. "Sasha's sick. Summer cold. Nothin' major, but she's sleepin' it off. When are you gonna be givin' us those recipes you said you were gonna."
"Brought 'em taday. Should be able ta start makin' the shite yaselves 'fore the winta, so that's one less thing ya'll be sendin' ova there."
"Good. Shouldn't be sendin' them pricks shit anyway," Abraham griped. "They've hardly given us shit and we've been sendin' food over there every goddamn month."
"I know, but I'm appreciative a it," Ani said with a pat on the back. "It feeds me and mine at least. And the few good'uns who're tryin' ta put in the work ta make things betta. Ain' many, but there's a handful tryin' ta be honest 'bout makin' amends."
"Ain't no amends to make. Bad enough Simon's always around. Though, I gotta say, that man knows his drink. First guy I've met since Merle that can hold his alcohol. Hell, the man out-drank me, and I'm a big man," he chuckled, earning a smile from Ani and a scoff from Daryl. "He's out huntin' with Cal and the others right now."
"That's good. Where's Mags at? I got ta talk ta 'er 'bout our crow problem back at the Sanctuary. Keep havin' the problems, ain' goin' ta have any corn ta make ethanol with. Plus, I want ta see her baby. Might got one a my own, but that don' mean I don' want ta see Hershel and make sure 'e's okay with my own two eyes."
"She's in her office with Dana, Birdie, and Jesus. Tryin' to figure out what all we got and what all we need."
"Got it," Ani said, walking over to Daryl and kissing his cheek. "I'll be back out in a little bit or ya can come get me when ya down out 'ere. Ain' goin' ta be stayin' long," she told Abraham. "Want ta get back 'fore Lou wakes up."
"Why didn't you bring 'im with you?" he asked in confusion.
"Gotta get back in the swing of things. Ania doesn't want to feel like she's stuck in just mom mode," he answered for her.
"And I didn' want ta leave D behind 'cause 'e hasn' been able ta leave for a while. We're goin' ta have ta start doin' more soon, anyway, and we've been stuck at the Sanctuary since I got put on bedrest. Needed ta get out. 'Sides, Lou's 'bout seven months. Startin' ta get the hang a sittin' on 'is own. Got ta start leavin' 'im with Merle and Phia and get back inta doin' our duties as leadas and not jus' parents."
"I hear you there. Took my wife damn near a year before she was willin' to part with our kids. Nice to see you're tryin' to get there sooner," Abraham told her, referring to his family from before.
"Don' got a choice. Sanctuary needs shite and askin' people ta go out and forage for medicinal plants is like askin' people ta tell a white oak from a red. Most a 'em don' know shite 'bout plants at all. It's embarrassin'."
"Ain't like they needed to worry about it before."
"Yeah, that's true. Assholes neva did have ta do nothin' but get violent ta get what they wanted, least when it came ta the Hilltop. Zeke was a fuckin' coward thinkin' 'e could jus' give 'em what they wanted and call it good. That's how they got a shite ton a meat and fresh veggies. Now that Rick wants all the people ta help Sanctuary, there's barely any meat ta go 'round 'cause the Kingdom ain' riskin' the hunt in the city as much. I don' mind, 'cause the Sanctuary's done shite all ta earn it. Even with the fact that they went and fixed what they blew up there, it ain' 'nough ta make up for killin' fifty a their membas. Know we killed a good portion a the Saviors, but they were all from the outposts, not the Sanctuary. The Sanctuary barely lost anythin' otha than the goods they'd get from the settlements. Some a 'em are tryin', but it ain' 'nough. I don' think it's eva goin' ta be 'nough. Not as long as there are those who think Negan'll come back."
"There's still shit stirrers, huh?" Abraham asked, receiving a hum in response. "Well, can't do nothin' about it 'til we can."
"Not 'til Mags is ready," Ani agreed. "She's tryin', and I get it. We all are. Doesn' make it any easia ta accept, though."
"Thought you'd be used to the Sanctuary by now."
"I ain' eva goin' ta get used ta that place. Too much stone, not 'nough green, not 'nough fresh air. There's nah gettin' used ta it. Not when D and I belong in the woods," she told him. "I'm goin' ta head in. Get what we need so we can get back."
"Got it," Daryl said as she walked up to him. "Make it quick. Gotta get back, like you said."
"Yes, daddy."
"Shut it."
Ani chuckled as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before heading towards Barrington house and Gregory's old office. She could hear the voices of Maggie and Jesus and she couldn't help but smile at the familiarity of them. It had been way too long since she'd seen the pair, especially since Maggie had never come to the Sanctuary and Jesus was way too busy as a runner to come often. The Sanctuary wasn't the only place that needed help and, when the winter came back around, every place needed to be ready. As of right now, with half of their food stores being sent to the Sanctuary, it sounded like Hilltop was looking at a lean winter. It hadn't been so bad last year because the Saviors had been forced to give back a lot of the supplies they'd hoarded and that had allowed the settlements to survive through the harshest storms. But those stores had been used up after being divided by the four settlements equally and there was nothing left for if the winter was bad and no hunting could be done at all. Fuel and oil were starting to become harder and harder to scavenge, and what could be scavenged wasn't always good. Ani hadn't known there was a shelf-life for gas and diesel, but after Eugene's warning to give the other settlements a heads up to double and triple check the engines of their tractors and cars. They would be dealing with more wear and tear than what he'd called humble vehicles like Daryl's bike and her quad, which Daryl and Merle were working on converting to be able work on ethanol. Surprisingly, Merle knew how to make ethanol, though, to him, it was just moonshine, which explained a lot to Ani, primarily how he was always able to get his hands on the stuff. She smiled and shook her head as she walked up to the door and knocked, waiting somewhat impatiently for someone to answer.
"We're in a meeting," Maggie's voice rang out dismissively which only served to make Ani smile wider.
"Well, nah shite, Sherlock," she called out in response. "Ain' like I don' got ears!"
The door flew open quite quickly after that and Ani was wrapped in a tight hug by none other than the leader of Hilltop herself, "You're here."
"I'm 'ere. So're ya, but I hear little Bethy's off on a romantic getaway," Ani teased.
"She deserves it. She taught the guard how to fight like you and then got her shoulder dislocated by one of the women who came from the Kingdom for trade. Thought she could use a break after that."
"Tell me 'er name was Janice, and I'll make sure she don' see the light a day for the next trade."
"No, it wasn't her. She's come a couple times, but Carol gave us warnin' on who she was and what she was like. It was one of their soldiers who wanted to see who was better. You ain't the only one who knows some form of martial arts, apparently, and Beth had already hurt her shoulder a few months before when one of the braces for the new barn shifted durin' buildin'. Woman apologized like no other and stayed back for three months to help her with her duties. Tara gave her a black eye, though."
"I can imagine. S'long as it wasn' Janice and the ladt wasn' tryin' ta start shite."
"She wasn't," Maggie assured her. "None of us wants another war."
"Wouldn' say none a us. Could do with wipin' out a certain sect within the Sanctuary who can' get the fuckin' hint," Ani spat out. "D got a black eye and a cut lip a few months ago when a brawl broke out. We've still got people hopin' Negan gets out a prison and goes back ta the Sanctuary and takes it back ova. And yet they call me an animal. Once ta my face, but ya can tell when they're whisparin' 'bout shite. They mention animals, and it's me and the rest a the Dixons they're talkin' 'bout."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Jesus interjected, noticing how the two women were just feeding into each other's anger and wanting to change the subject. "It can't be easy dealing with all that while raising a child."
"It ain', but I got ta do what I got ta do. That shite ain' eva changed. Only thing that has is that I quit trianin' othas. I ain' teachin' them assholes how ta fight like me. Glad Beth's helpin' build up Hilltop's backbone up. It's nice ta see y'all can' easily be taken advantage a again," Ani stated, taking a breath and deciding to get off that topic altogether. "Ya heard anythin' from Georgie? Or Morgan? Been out a the loop for a while and wouldn' mind gettin' back in touch."
"Georgie's still lookin' for more settlements. Hasn't found one since winter, but she's hopeful. Since there's four settlements within thirty miles of each other, it's easy to hope for more. She's thinkin' about headin' down south again. See if there's anythin' worth findin' down there. As for Morgan, no one's seen or heard from him since the end of the war. There's no way of knowin' where he went."
"Damn. If I hadn' been so focused on so many otha things, I could a stopped 'im. Maybe helped 'im through 'is PTSD. He had such a bad case. Psychosis alone is a hell a a thing ta have ta deal with, and 'e had it on top a all the emotions from 'is losses and the confusion thanks ta Eastman."
"Who?" Maggie and Jesus asked at the same time.
"Eastman. He was my mentor and the guy I worked unda 'fore everythin' went ta hell, back at the Atlanta PD. He let me take ova 'is less dangerous cases and look ova all 'is case files that had ta do with my PhD and all that. 'Ccordin' ta Morgan, he'd found 'im durin' one a 'is psychosis episodes and brought 'im back by teachin' 'im Aikido, but got bit 'cause 'e went back inta a psychosis. Everythin' was good 'til 'e lost Benjamin. Afta that, afta 'e killed what's 'is face that wanted ta start shite, first by tryin' ta get me and D ta participate in 'is plot ta get Carol killed, then by hidin' a damn cantaloupe and gettin' Henry's brotha killed, the psychosis...Morgan couldn' shake it when 'e didn' have that guidance. I hope 'e found some place 'e could heal."
"There's no way of knowing, but we can hope. Morgan was a strong man. He wouldn't give up very easily," Jesus told her.
"Yeah, I know. Now, let me see this chunka a ya's!" Ani told Maggie excitedly. "Didn' know if y'all were bein' hit by the cold that's hittin' Alexandria, so I didn' bring Lou, but I also wanted ta try ta get away for a couple hours, too."
"Why?" Maggie asked. "Why would you want to leave him there?"
"I left 'im with Merle, Phia, and the twins. Ain' nah safa place for 'im. Twins won' let anyone inta the room, Phia neva wants ta put 'im down when she gets ta hold 'im, and Merle..." Ani laughed nervously while shaking her head, "I pity the fool who tries ta do somethin' ta Lou if Merle's around. 'Cause that fool ain' jus' goin' ta die. They're goin' ta be made a damn example a a what 'e's willin' ta do ta keep 'his' baby safe. Fucka wasn' even as bad 'bout D when they were younga, but put 'im in a room with Lou and that bastard is jus' a nutcase 'bout safety. Did ya know 'e found styrofoam and literally cova'd our room with it the first time I left 'im in charge a Lou? I don' even know where the asshole found the shite or how 'e managed ta cova damn near ever damn edge in the room in less than thirty minutes, but the fucka did it. I can' wait ta get back ta my boy, but I know 'e's safa than Judith was at 'is age, and she had all a us." Ani spoke as Maggie lead her further into her office and over to the crib, picking up the baby and handing him over to her as she started gushing, "Ah! He's perfect! He looks like Glenn. Fuck, he looks exactly like Glenn. Where's the Greene?! All I see is Rhee!"
"I don't think that's such a bad thing," Maggie told her with a sad smile.
"Nah, I don' eitha. He's precious," she replied, handing the mother back her son. "I brought a few a the things we don' use for Lou anymore. Some small toys, a few onesies that we neva ended up usin' 'cause I forgot 'bout 'em. Stuff ya prolly don' need, but, well, I brought 'em anyways."
"Thank you. It's actually a good thing. We've got a lady here that could use 'em. She just found out she's expecting."
"Really?! That's awesome!"
"More and more babies are being born," Jesus said. "We're rebuilding the world."
"Yeah, but what kind a world is it goin' ta be?" Ani mused. "One that's united and free a pain, anga and hate, or one that's gone back to the all for one and none for all?"
"That's up to us to decide. But for now, it's a good thing you're here. We need your help."