Cloth plopped into the big coffin she was using to ship herself off to Gowny in. She made sure to include a useless glass window above her face so that when she arrived, she could peer up at Gowny's face.

His head still looks like a lump of Play-Doh, but at least it's more tolerable now than it was a few weeks ago, Cloth thought.

"As soon as I launch, you get out of range because it's gonna smell pretty bad not gonna lie lol," Cloth said. "If you see Big F before I do, tell him... uh... tell him that I love him. And that I'll ship Big Cloth until I die."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Perfect, tell him that, too."

Cloth then sealed the coffin with toilet paper and Gorilla Poo, which has all the stickiness of Gorilla Glue but is really just poo. Walking Carpet then pushed the big phat button that evacuated the Cloth-Coffin out of the Falcon in a similar way to how fecal matter is evacuated from the lower intestines.

The Cloth-Coffin flew all the way through space just like Leia did with the Force somehow (?) and landed right in front of Gowny.

"A yo girl, welcome to Sloane's Ship of Dreams."

"More like Cloth's Ship of Dreams," Cloth said, jumping out of the coffin and giving Gowny a big ol' smooch. Then Gown stepped aside and had some random guy put thicc ass handcuffs on Cloth.

"Before I take you to Sloane's chambers, I have a surprise for you."

"Today is a historic day," Gowny said at the stand, with Cloth watching from the audience. "Today we will see the fate of those who speak ill of my beautiful crush, Cloth Skywalker!"

"Actually I won't decide I'm a Skywalker until the next movie."

"Well same difference," Gowny said, blowing a kiss to Cloth. "Yesterday I caught General McGregor committing high treason and taradiddling. Do you deny it, McGregor?"

"I've never taradiddled once in my life! Only my beloved Bea taraddidles, and she does it all the time. But I am no taradiddler."

"Treason! Execution by blaster is too good for him. Let's make this hurt," Gowny said. Brienne of Tarth then came out with a weird executioner gun that they were gonna use on Big F and Rose. "On my command."

"Where is Sloane? I demand to see Sloane!" McGregor yelled.

Gowny then counted down incredibly slowly from 10 to 1, while Cloth watched from the audience. Is this really what he does for people who pop blow-up dolls of me? This is a bit dramatic. Must run in the family.

"My only regret is that Haggard never got to witness her own downfall!"

"Kill him. Kill him now," Gowny said, quoting his favorite prequel. Brienne of Tarth then put the executioner gun back into her back ass pocket and ripped ass all over General McGregor, the aroma of which killed General Thomas "Rabbit Wrangler" McGregor IV instantly.

All of the Stormtroopers and the Cloth-Trooper then switched to black armor for the funeral, which was to take place immediately after.

"His will says that he wanted his funeral to be a dance party," the coroner said. "Does anyone have any sick ass beats to drop?"

"I have a song," Gowny announced. "It's for the love of my life."

The room then transformed into a dance floor fit with a disco ball with Gowny standing by the karaoke machine.

"This is a song I like to call The Cloth to My Gown, the third song on my debut album Started From the Drive-Thru, Now We Here."

The lights turned a beautiful shade of fart cloud green. I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy, Cloth thought. Outside of my Jumbo John, that is. A sick ass rap beat dropped that rattled the walls of Sloane's Ship of Dreams.

"Ay, ay, ay," Gowny started. "Ay, ay, ay…"

My name is Gown and I'm here to say
I want to kiss Cloth-Cloth every day
I'm here to ask Cloth to marry me today
I already have our wedding set for May

I love our ForceTime talks on the phone
I can show you all the merchandise I own
Just like you told me, "you're not alone"
I already asked for a blessing from Sloane

Your face will never ever ever make me frown
Tomorrow we can have a night out on the town
If you marry me, I can give you a crown
And that's why you're the Cloth to My Gown

Everyone on the floor watched awkwardly and quietly as their leader rapped about his love to the desert girl they were all trying to kill. Kylo Lightsaber then slid over to Cloth on one knee and pulled out a big black box with a Ring Pop inside.

"This is a ring pulled from the buttocks of my grandmother," Gowny said. "Will you make me the happiest edgy teenager in the galaxy and be my wife in an eternal and loving marriage?"

"No lol," Cloth said. "We have no chemistry."

"We'll see about that," Gowny said. "Now come with me, we have to go see Sloane so he can spank the Resistance out of existence."

Gowny then led Cloth to Willy Wonka's Great Glass Elevator, which they would ride all the way up to the Red Room, where the spanking would happen, soon to be followed by the spanking of the Resistance.

"Bury General McGregor with his beloved Bea," the Cloth-Trooper said, in accordance with the rest of his will. "The rabbits have won."