General Unimportant walked across the field. One of the Rebel soldiers behind him licked some salt off the ground like a dog.

"Salt," he said to the guy next to him (actual quote).

Just as they were charging the small big ass laser, a bunch of crappy shuttles were evacuated similar to evacuation of an intestinal tract.

The crappy shuttles deployed their little draggers, digging up salt and leaving huge red streaks of dust in their path as to let the First Order know precisely where they were and precisely where to shoot.

"Thirteen incoming pieces of metal trash," General Haggard said. "Should we hold until we wipe them out?"

"No," Gowny said. "The Resistance is in Bat Cave Central. Push through. The time has come, Execute Order 67."

All of the AT&T's launched lanterns and lights towards Bat Cave Central, knowing that light was the only thing that could vanquish its power. Lots of the crappy shuttles were boomed out of existence. The Excrement Explosives were deployed as well as the Tushy Torpedoes.

"Lawd, have mercy!" said the 46 nuns in perfect harmony while watching from the prison ship.

Just then, the Falcon flew across the sky, propelled by the bag of wind King Neptune gave them to get home from Shell City. All of the TIE fighters immediately broke off and fired wedding rings at the Falcon, as ordered by Gowny, to try to convince Cloth to change her mind.

"Blow... that piece of junk… out of the sky!11!" Gowny yelled. "And shoot down the Falcon, too, while you're at it!"

The Resistance watched from Bat Cave Central below. They engineers were building toilets as fast as they could to catch all the butt bombs when they all heard Cloth fly over the cave like Aladdin on the magic carpet on the way to the RUGS store.

"Oh, they hate that ship!" Rian Johnson said, reading the reviews. "At least we'll always have 86% on Rotten Tomatoes."

Edgar Allan led the pilots across the field of salt, freshly imported from Salt Lake City. Big F and Token Asian sailed in ships of their own as the First Order Shrek'd all the other ships around them.

"Yo, we're getting our asses wiped over here," Edgar Allan said. "We need to go back to Bat Cave Central."

"But we're so close, bae!" Big F said.

"Pull off, Big F, that's an order!11!" Edgar Allan said. All the pilots made a circle and flew into a big Nether portal and teleported back to Bat Cave Central, but Big F kept flying.

"You got cotton in your ears, boy?" Token Asian said. "Edgar Allan wants us to go back!"

"Do y'alls even know how powerful that battering ram is?" Big F asked. "They say it's been used to bust open the doors of Area 51, and Bolt and Rhino's private shitting room with the hardest material in the universe as the door! It'll crack that big ass door like that egg on TikTok!"

"It's too dangerous!11!" Token Asian said.

"Can't be as dangerous as the bathroom after Gowny uses it lmao," Big F said. "I would know, there was only one bathroom on the First Order ship I was trained on, and Gowny was in there blowing up that bowl every 30 minutes like clockwork."

Token Asian didn't go into the Nether portal either, instead crashing her ship (named the SS Reylo) into Big F's Big Flyer, saving the battering ram cannon.

This is the second time I've been involved in a ship crash with someone I'm in love with, Big F thought as he butt blasted over to Token Asian's ship.

"Why would you do that?" Big F said, slapping her in the face.

"I dunno lol," Token Asian said, giving him a big smooch on the lips while Bat Cave Central violently exploded behind them.

"What a romantic moment," Rian Johnson said, writing the script.

Big F picked Token Asian up and yeeted her all the way back to the Resistance base before running back, leaving the crashed SS Reylo.