Gowny slid down the Slip n' Slide that led to the surface of Crait before strolling over to Luke, who was standing there like a bump on a log.

"Did you come back to say you're sorry for shitting in my private toilet? For betraying my trust? And for clogging it with my special 128-ply tushy tissue?" Gowny asked. "Or did you come to save my soul?"

"I'm not here to do any of that, get your head out of your bum."

"Then why are you here?" Gowny asked. "I'm totes over the Jedi."

"I have failed you, Gowny," Luke said (actual quote). "I have failed you."

"I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!"

"Gowny, Supreme Leader Sloane is evil!"

"From my point of view, Sloane is dead!" Gowny said. "I totally killed him all by myself with no help whatsoever."

"Oh, no cap?" Luke said. "That's mad cool, Gowny."

Cloth landed the Falcon on top of the nearest mountain and jumped all the way down, just like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Hello there," she said to the shiny wolves that were running out of Bat Cave Central. "Lifting rocks," she said. "Luke said there wouldn't be any rock lifting! What a big fat liar."

Cloth picked up all the rocks with the Force™ and yeeted them to the side just like Moses yeeted the water in the Red Sea. Big F ran up to her and gave her a big smooch, just as passionately as ratface smooch don.

"The Resistance is dead!11! The war is over!1! And when I kill you, I will have killed the Last Jedi (2017) dir. Rian Johnson!1111!"

"Amazing," Luke said. "Every word of what you just said was super dumb fam. The Rebellion is reborn today."

"Wait I thought you guys were the Resistance?"

"Who cares lmao," Luke continued. "By this point everyone is flocking to the exit in the theater anyway, I can say whatever I want. The war is just beginning."

"What about the last three years, though?"

"And I will not be the Last Jedi (2017) dir. Rian Johnson."

The Resistance ran for the hills and climbed that mountain and boarded the Falcon because the Resistance was so wrecked that they could all fit on the Falcon.

Cloth counted all the Resistance troops as they ran up the stairs. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…

"Alright, that's all eighteen of us, we can leave now!"

Gowny flung his skirt off and ran towards Lukey-boy with the famous Kylo Lightsaber while Luke defended with Bananakin's laser sword, but when he tried to slice him up, he failed.

"You just got served!" Luke laughed. "I've been on Ahch-To(ot) this whole time! And I'm just projecting myself here with the Force or something!"

"Is it possible to learn this power?" Gowny asked.

"Not without Lucas Free Spray," Luke said. "I'll seeya around, boi."

Luke Puke vanished into the Netherworld of the Force as his cape flew off into the sunset on Ahch-To(ot) while Beeeeeen was left humiliated in front of the entire First Order for the fifth time that week.

"Nooooooo!111!1111!111!"