A/N: Akkarin's backstory of why he uses black magic is very different from what is in the books-you have been forewarned! Partly, this is because I think it is more interesting to do something different, but I also have a long-term plot planned which doesn't mesh well with the Ichani given their status as outcasts. I also tried to account for a couple plot holes that have always bothered me-Akkarin's reasoning for going into Sachaka has always seemed rather weak to me as has his reasoning for not letting people read his mind-surely he can keep the secret of black magic behind closed doors like Rothen showed Sonea. Anyway, on with the story!

Akkarin knew he should have been focusing on the copies of the trade agreements the King had passed him that morning, but his mind continued to return to Sonea. Though Takan had not said anything more since the night she had healed him nearly a week before, he could hear the other man's thoughts quite clearly and knew exactly what he felt about the matter. In many ways, Akkarin felt the same. Takan was right that it seemed to be growing more and more dangerous for him to act alone. At the very least, Sonea was an extremely powerful magician which would help a great deal if she agreed to give him her power.

Akkarin sighed, standing from his desk. Perhaps a walk and some fresh air would clear his head. With that thought, he strode from his study and out onto the grounds. His feet turned automatically toward the gardens as he let his mind wander, unable to ignore the question of what to do about Sonea. As if in answer to his musings, he suddenly felt her familiar magical presence nearby. Something drew him to it, and he turned automatically in the direction from which the feeling had come, finding her in a secluded alcove in the garden. She had curled up on a bench with a book in front of her, a sparkle around her that indicated she was heating the immediate surroundings against the rather chilly weather—though spring had officially started, the weather had not yet turned. She was completely engrossed in whatever she was reading, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as her eyes scanned the page. On any other person, such a gesture would have seemed childish, but it seemed to suit her, and he could not help but find it endearing.

Akkarin shook those thoughts from his head. No matter what else happened, he certainly could not allow such thoughts. He slowed his steps, a bit unsure of how to begin now that he was standing near her. Briefly, he considered turning around to leave, but she looked up from her book, her eyes widening slightly when she saw him. She started to put the book aside, but Akkarin held up a hand to stop her. "Not here. If you are free, you can take dinner with me at the Residence this evening."

"And then we will talk?"

Akkarin resigned himself to his fate. "Yes. Then, we will talk." She nodded slowly, and he turned to leave before waiting for any further reaction. As he strode back to the Residence, he sent a mental communication to Takan. Please set out dinner for two tonight.

Akkarin sensed the other man's approval through their connection though he responded with a simple, Yes, Master.

As he waited for the dinner bell that night, Akkarin found himself nervous for the first time in years. He tried to tell himself it was simply because he had never told another person his secret before, but he knew it was more than that. His nerves had less to do with the actual telling of the secret and more to do with the fact that it was her to whom he was confessing. Ludicrous, he dismissed immediately. But he still could not stop the fluttering in his gut when he heard the dinner gong though he kept his face impassive.

He sensed her presence before she knocked, and he opened the door with a small exertion of his will. She stepped into the guest room, her eyes meeting his immediately. This time, she bowed as she greeted him. "High Lord."

"Sonea. Right on time, I see." The door swung shut behind her. "Shall we?" He gestured to the stairs, and she nodded before climbing. "Second door on the left," he told her, and she obediently followed his directions to the large, ornate dining room. Akkarin noted that Takan had set the two places at either end of the large table that dominated the space—the customary spots for the Lord and Lady of a House. Takan, Akkarin sent, a note of warning in his mind voice. His servant, however, chose not to respond, instead projecting a feeling of smug satisfaction. Akkarin knew it would be far worse to call attention to the interesting arrangement than to just accept it, so he approached the nearest seat and pulled it out, nodding to Sonea. She seemed a bit startled, and he reminded himself that she had not been born in the Houses and was likely unused to many of the customs. It was, in fact, one of the reasons he thought she would make a good confidant.

After a moment's hesitation, she took the seat, and he pushed her chair in before crossing to the opposite side and taking his own seat at the head of the table. As soon as he spread his napkin on his lap, noting with suppressed amusement that she quickly copied his actions, Takan entered with the first course. He dished some onto his own plate before passing it to Sonea. He noted that she watched him discretely as he ate, only selecting a fork and eating herself once she had seen his choice. This time, he did let a small smile show on his features though he kept it fleeting. Rothen had obviously taught her some rules of etiquette, for some of her actions were less careful, but it was also clear that she was still learning. However, she seemed to be excellent at copying what she observed, a trait that he was sure would serve her well in her studies. As Takan served the next course, Akkarin could not help but pick up the incorrect fork, watching out of the corner of his eye to see what she would do.

At first, she reached for the same fork he had used, but she paused, her eyes narrowing. "Are you seriously testing my understanding of the rules of etiquette?" she questioned suddenly, the first words since her greeting. She left the incorrect fork untouched, picking up the correct one. Akkarin allowed his smile to linger this time. It appeared she was not one easily intimidated. That would make her a formidable ally. Or be quite troublesome in an opponent, the contrarian voice in his head remarked.

"I was merely interested in your reaction."

Her eyebrows rose. "I thought we were here to discuss what you're doing that made you end up half-dead a few days ago."

"After dinner," Akkarin promised. "It is a rather complicated story, and I would prefer to allow us both to focus our full attention on it." She nodded, somewhat grudgingly, and returned to her food. Akkarin noted that she ate a bit faster though he continued to pace himself. The time to tell her would come soon enough; he saw no need to hurry it.

After dinner, he motioned for her to stand and exit the room first. Technically, he knew he did not have to do so since she was not a lady of the Houses, but he had never particularly cared about social status. He led her down the hall to the sitting room. He rarely used the room, for it was intended for less formal gatherings. For official Guild business, he either used a meeting room at the University or his guest room downstairs, and when he was by himself, the room simply felt empty, so he spent most of his time in his study. Lorlen had joined him in the sitting room sometimes, but in the last couple years, it seemed like they rarely had time to talk about anything but Guild business, and their relationship had turned rather stiff and formal.

"Please, sit. Would you like anything to drink?" he offered. Sonea considered a moment before shaking her head.

"I think I would probably spill it from nerves."

His smile was genuine, one of the first times he had let his aloof mask slip around another person in years. He decided not to dwell on what that might mean. Sitting, he began. "In that case, I suppose we should get started. I do want to reassure you that I have no intention to hurt you, but the information I am about to tell you could be dangerous for you. There are a number of people of who would kill to obtain it. Are you sure you are ready for me to tell you?"

Sonea nodded. "I understand the risks."

"And I take it you also understand that you can never tell another soul what I am about to tell you?" Again, she nodded. Akkarin took a deep breath, preparing to tell the secret he had never anticipated he would speak about with another person.

Sonea watched as the High Lord's eyes took on a faraway look as he began to talk. "I was the oldest son in my family and expected to inherit the title and run the estate. But when a distant cousin who was a magician was visiting, he could sense my magical presence without even touching me. I was only twelve, but he—and others at the Guild—were afraid that my magic would develop on its own and if unchecked could have. . . disastrous consequences." Sonea nodded, having some experience with those consequences.

"My cousin urged my parents to send me to the Guild. They were wary at first, especially since I was still young for a First Year novice. However, a couple appeals from the Higher Magicians and my own insistence eventually wore them down. Truthfully, I was never particularly interested in running the estate anyway. I wanted adventure and excitement, and I felt that the Magician's Guild would be the ideal place to find that. And so I came here for training.

I was the strongest Novice at the time, and I soon found I was adept at learning to control my magic as well. It was not long before I became bored and began to do little experiments. One of them resulted in my ability to read an unwilling mind. I was also much more sensitive than average to an unshielded magician, so imagine my surprise when I felt the presence of one of those outside the Guild.

At this point, I likely should have told my superiors, but I was still craving adventure, so I went to investigate on my own. I found the man in a bolhouse in the Slums, and out of curiosity, I 'accidentally' stumbled into him and slipped into his mind. Imagine my surprise when I discovered he was a Sachakan magician sent by his king to assess the strengths and weaknesses of Kyralia.

That knowledge I did report to the High Lord. He said he would take it to the King, but I do not know that he ever did. I do know that we discovered after his death that his mind had been slipping away for quite some time, so it was possible he simply forgot. Or he decided that I was simply a naive young Novice who did not understand what the man was saying. Regardless, by the time I graduated four months later, I had heard nothing else about the incident.

I stayed at the Guild for six months after graduation before growing restless. Since I still heard nothing else about the Sachakan man I had found and fancied myself unstoppable, I decided to start my own investigation. Under the guise of doing research for a book on ancient magic, I traveled through some of the Allied Lands before entering Sachaka."

Sonea gasped as some of the visions she had seen began to make sense. "The King in your dreams and the wasteland. . ."

He nodded grimly. "Both Sachakan. I had done enough research to know about their hatred of Kyralia and Guild magicians in particular, so I took care to disguise myself as a merchant and enter on the main road. A few days into my journey, a group of magicians met me on the road. They introduced themselves as 'court magicians,' a term I didn't understand at the time but came to fear later. They recognized me as Kyralian but seemed to accept my story of being a merchant. They told me they would travel with me to their capital city. I thought about declining but decided that would raise suspicion, so I accepted. Given my power and knowledge, I had assumed that I would easily best them if it came to a fight.

The trouble started two days later. Apparently, these court magicians enjoy engaging in magical duels for the slightest offense and have no concern for collateral damage that may occur. One of these started one night, and I quickly realized I had vastly underestimated their strength. Any one of the court magicians was stronger than me, and there were four traveling with me. My only hope was that they would exhaust themselves fighting with each other.

Unfortunately, stray strikes headed in my direction, and I shielded automatically. That, of course, gave away my true nature, and I soon found their attack directed at me. It did not take them long to weaken me, and I fell unconscious soon after that. When I next awoke, I was chained in the cell you saw with Takan, my servant. And I wasn't. . . myself." He paused at that point, his eyes distant. Sonea wanted to shout at him to continue, but she knew that would not help. He needed to tell the story in his own time.

Finally, he continued, his voice quieter now. "The Sachakans have a way to. . . control the mind of another. I never figured out exactly how it worked, and it is not a skill I have any interest in researching further. I suspect it takes a considerable amount of power, for I did not see them use it on any other prisoners, but it was. . . incredibly effective. I could not lie or do anything they did not wish me to do. It's a terrifying feeling, being tapped in your own mind, knowing you should not do something but being unable to stop yourself.

They questioned me relentlessly. No Guild Magician had come into Sachaka since the war, so their knowledge was quite out of date. I had no choice but to answer honestly at first, but after nearly a month, I figured out how to block their mind control device. Even once I did, however, I dared not let them know what I had done for fear that they would add another stronger one. In many ways, that made the situation worse. They forced me to do things. . ." He trailed off, his gray eyes haunted by the memories. Without thinking, Sonea reached out, grasping one of the hands that lay in his lap. He looked down at her tiny hand, dwarfed by his, and then back up at her. Sonea expected him to pull away, but instead he curled his fingers with hers and squeezed.

"That's what's behind the door, isn't it?" she questioned, remembering the locked door she had seen after the visions. He stared at her for a moment.

"You saw that?"

She nodded. "I didn't touch it though," she assured him quickly. "I could sense that it would not be a good idea."

He studied her for a moment before nodding slowly. "I doubt they had ever tried their trick on a fully trained magician. Unfortunately, I suspect they will probably learn from what I did. But yes, I essentially locked it behind a door. The interrogation sessions became easier after that because I did not have to worry about inadvertently betraying Kyralia's secrets, but they were not happy with my answers. I was beaten and starved and. . . well, you probably don't need the full details.

Eventually, they mostly left me alone. I spent time planning my escape. I considered a number of options, but the fact remained that I was one of the weakest magicians around."

Sonea gasped, having heard stories of just how powerful the High Lord was, how he had bested twenty others when they tested him for High Lord. "Are Sachakan magicians really so strong? Is there something in their bloodlines that makes them powerful? I would not have expected them to lose the war in that case."

The High Lord paused for just a moment, but Sonea caught onto it immediately. "There are many very strong magicians in the Sachakan Court," he finally said, and Sonea sensed that he was telling the truth but still holding something back.

"More than in Kyralia?"

"I do not know their exact numbers, for I only met a fraction of them, but one of them could easily defeat many Guild magicians."

"But how? That makes no sense! Rothen told me that power levels fluctuate in bloodlines. Even a bloodline that has produced a powerful magician could produce someone with very little power or no potential at all. And sometimes, there are people like me with no magic in their bloodline."

"I actually suspect you probably have some, but you are right that no one in your bloodline has as much power as you."

"So how has Sachaka produced so many strong magicians? Why are their power levels not different like ours?" She saw debate raging on his face, and Sonea knew she was right. There was more to the story than he was telling her. "I thought you agreed to tell me the truth!"

"I have been telling the truth."

"Not all of it!" They stared at each other, neither willing to back down from his or her arguments. Sonea's sharp mind puzzled through everything she knew, trying to put together her bits of knowledge into a coherent picture. She understood many of the visions she had seen now, but she still had no explanation for a couple of the visions nor did she know how the High Lord had been injured the previous week. She sorted through the visions without an explanation first, searching for clues, and she remembered something about Tagin strengthening himself from others. She had never heard of such magic before, but if the Sachakans used it, perhaps that would explain their power. "They're like Tagin, aren't they?" she breathed, the pieces clicking into place.

He looked at her sharply, and she heard an undercurrent of anger in his voice when he spoke. "How do you know about Tagin?"

"I saw you reading."

"Then you understand how dangerous this knowledge is, how important it is that no one else find out about it."

"I know he murdered a lot of people, but I truthfully don't know what knowledge you're talking about. I was not able to read as quickly as you." When he gave no further explanation, Sonea tried again. "High Lord, I promise I will not reveal your secrets to anyone else without your leave. But I want the full truth or I will call the Administrator over right now. I am sure he will be most interested in what I have learned and may even be able to fill in the gaps in my knowledge."

"No. Leave Lorlen out of it!" The High Lord's voice was fierce, and his nostrils flared as he breathed out harshly.

"Then tell me! You've come this far. What do you have to lose?"

The High Lord's voice was soft, but Sonea heard it anyway. "You would be surprised." He looked at her one last time before letting out a sigh and dropping his head. "Back in Tagin's day, magicians practised what they called 'Higher Magic' though today we refer to it as 'Black Magic' due to Tagin's actions. There are a variety of skills associated with it, but one of the more popular at the time was the ability to draw power from others, both willingly and unwillingly, and store it in one's own power stores."

"And the Sachakans know how to do this?"

The High Lord nodded. "It is how they become so strong."

"But why have I never heard of this magic before?"

"Because it is strictly forbidden. The Guild fears it and rightly so, given what happened with Tagin. Even seeking knowledge of it is punishable by expulsion from the Guild, and actively practising it can earn you an execution."

"But if the Sachakans can do it, shouldn't we be able to as well so we can defend ourselves?"

"Yes, that would be best, but I fear that prejudices run deep at the Guild. Even the mere suggestion of such a thing will likely result in horror and suspicions that I would just as soon avoid." He looked back up, and his eyes gleamed. Sonea supposed she should find it frightening to be under such intense scrutiny from the powerful man in front of her, but instead she felt a thrill course throughout her body. He was telling her something that he had obviously never told anyone else, a fact that made her feel special. However, his need for secrecy indicated that there was something else important, something she was missing. She went back over his words in her head. He was one of the weakest magicians around which prevented him from leaving. That meant he would still be a prisoner—or worse—unless he had somehow grown stronger. She gasped, eyes widening.

"I see you figured it out," he said softly. "I eventually came to the conclusion that my natural power stores would never be enough, even if I could have found a way to prevent them from draining my power each day. I needed to combine forces with someone else. And since I did not have another trained magician nearby, the only thing I could think to do was to learn black magic. So I did. The next few times when they came to take my power, I used my mind reading trick to enter their minds unnoticed. It did not take too long to learn the secret.

The next time a guard came, Takan helped me surprise him and kill him, and I took his power. The guards are low in the social hierarchy, so he did not have much, but it was enough for me to Heal myself and Takan somewhat. I killed eleven more guards making my way out of the prison which brought me to slightly more than my usual level of power. I was fortunate that I did not meet any of the court magicians, for they would have proved too much for me.

From there, we headed out into the wasteland instead of taking the main road as I had done upon entering the country. It had its own dangers, of course, but they seemed minor compared to what we had just faced. It took almost six months for Takan and I to make our way back into the Allied Lands, and I spent a year in solitude recovering and deciding what to do next. I eventually made my way back to the Guild, vowing never to practice Black Magic again. I told everyone I had spent the entire three years I was gone in the mountains doing my research. Takan was so grateful for the rescue, he refused to leave me, so I took him on as a servant though in many ways, he's more of a friend and confidant than anything."

He smiled at her then, a surprising expression on his normally stoic facade. He squeezed the hand Sonea realized with a jolt he was still holding. "You're a good listener," he remarked. "You did not interrupt much though I'm sure you have many questions." He gave her an expectant look, and she was silent for a moment. She had dozens of questions warring in her mind and was not exactly sure where to begin.

Finally, she asked, "Why didn't you tell anyone when you got home?"

He sighed. "I debated at length about that. Eventually, I decided the potential for harm was higher than whatever good might come of it. Though the Sachakans hate Kyralia, everything I heard indicated they also feared us. They know that we train all our magicians with the Guild whereas theirs are just taught Control. Some are apprenticed to older magicians, but the older magicians are more likely to use apprentices as power sources than to teach them anything about magic. Their understanding of what you can do with magic is rudimentary at best—they know some basic strikes and shielding and how to take power from another, of course, but that is the extent of what most can do. And they are very disorganized."

"But still dangerous because of the amount of power they have," Sonea guessed.

The High Lord nodded. "If the Guild truly did still practice Black Magic, they would likely not stand a chance against it. As long as they continue to believe that, we are safe from invasion."

"And do they believe that?"

The grin he gave was somewhat feral. "I have been doing my best to convince them." At her confused look, he clarified. "They have been sending additional court magicians as spies into Imardin—I suspect they've been doing it for many years, actually. I have been. . . strongly discouraging the practice." Sonea suddenly remembered the vision where he had killed the man and realized that it was likely one of the spies he mentioned. She thought for a moment before asking her next question.

"No matter how convincing you are, though, aren't they likely to find out someday? After all, they just need to run into a Guild magician who's not you to realize we don't all know black magic. So shouldn't you tell the Guild so they could be prepared?"

"That would be ideal, yes." The High Lord's face clearly showed his frustration, and she felt his hand squeeze hers a bit tighter. "But keep in mind, it would not take much questioning for them to deduce that I must have learned black magic in order to escape—just think of how quickly you figured it out. Though I suspect you might be more clever than some of our Higher Magicians." Sonea started at the unexpected compliment, and he grinned at her briefly before sobering. "The Guild's fear and hatred of black magic runs deep even if most do not remember why. It's possible they would not have asked any more questions after learning of my knowledge. And you heard what the penalty is for that earlier."

"But surely what matters is how you use the power! Tagin and the Sachakans abused it for their own gains. You're using it for helping Kyralia."

"Perhaps I am now, but when I learned it, I did so solely to help myself escape."

"You were saving yourself! They could not have condemned you for that. Not after they heard the full story."

"Most would probably not have bothered listening to the whole story once they learned about my use of black magic."

"You could have let them Truth Read you."

He shook his head. "I couldn't risk it. I still had that. . . presence in my mind, even if I had locked it up. What if one of them accidentally let it out? I could become the Guild's worst enemy."

"What about letting them read someone else's mind, like Takan's?"

"Most magicians do not have your open mind. I could not be sure of what their eventual decision would be. If I was put on trial, it would quickly become obvious that the Guild condemned black magic, and the Sachakans would not hesitate to attack."

"So you decided to wage a one-mar war on an entire country?" Sonea's tone dripped with skepticism. The High Lord's eyebrows rose, but he did not rebuke her.

"I saw no other option. And when I first returned, I was not planning to be quite as active. But when I sensed a second spy in the city, I decided I could not just sit back and let him do what he wanted, especially since it involved the deaths of many innocent people. The spies they send are court magicians accustomed to strengthening themselves with the blood of others."

"So you killed him."

The High Lord took a deep breath and let it out slowly before nodding. "I truly did not see another option. When I saw he was wearing a blood gem, a stone that lets another person see into his mind and through his eyes, I decided to go one step further. I took his power with black magic despite having told myself I would never do so again, thinking that it would give more credence to the belief that we still practice it."

"Thereby protecting Kyralia from a threat it does not even realize exists."

"That's what I tell myself at night," he agreed quietly. Sonea stared at the man in front of her, rapidly reassessing everything she knew about him. She had never met anyone quite like him before. Growing up in the Slums, she had met plenty of men who fancied themselves strong protectors, but none would even come close to the High Lord. To do something that you clearly detested—for their recent conversation had told her quite clearly how he felt about black magic—and for which everyone you knew would condemn you in order to protect the very people who would execute you if they learned your secret—that took more strength than she could imagine. She knew she could not have done it.

"Thank you," she finally said though the words seemed inadequate. He looked confused for a moment, but his expression cleared as he looked at her. He gave her a small half-smile, and she knew he understood what she could not put into words. They stared at each other for a moment, and something changed in his expression suddenly. His eyes flicked downwards, but Sonea did not have long to wonder what he was thinking before he had leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly to hers.