9.
Wendy took one final drag of her cigarette, eyes raised towards the treetops. When the lightning pierced the gloom, she could even see their ghostly points waving against the boiling black of the night sky. She smiled bitterly at the memory of that summer. She'd been too naive about Dipper, about herself... Pretty much everything.
Back then, she thought she was enough of an adult already and she was, in so many practical ways: Working to support herself, taking care of her family, saving up to strike out on her own.
...But she hadn't been adult enough to let him go. Especially not after seeing them together.
She'd completely unraveled that day, and when her tears had been spent, all that was left was truth that gnawed at the very heart of her.
She'd wanted him more.
"Come on Wendy, I wanna play!" Robbie whined, leaning against the arcade cabinet with his arms folded petulantly. Wendy ignored him for a moment to mash out a combo that neatly finished the AI.
"Sure dude, when I lose!" She laughed, distracted. She was three bouts away from beating the Fight Fighters arcade mode, and no amount of pestering from Robbie or anyone else could tear her away from that rare accomplishment. She was just getting into the next round when Lee asked Tambry if she was having another Summerween party.
"Well yeah, I mean it'll be the last one I'll be able to throw for a while so it needs to be lit as fuck. You guys better help me with it, too."
"Totally!" Nate chimed in, "It'll be the best one ever!"
There was a chorus of agreement. "I can probably get some beer" Thompson offered. His parents owned a liquor store in the next town over. "Worse comes to worst I could just sneak a keg out after a shift at the store in the van." There had always been at least a little booze at Summerween, but the prospect of evolving the party into a full-on kegger set the group abuzz with excitement.
"I have band practice in like- half an hour. I can talk to the guys about playing." Robbie offered to the half-hearted enthusiasm of all.
"Ok baby, but could you guys do a cover band thing? That was so much fun last Halloween." Tambry begged tactfully. It was the beginning of a long-winded argument between the couple, Robbie was already whining that the group couldn't get many gigs in such a small town as it is. He was just starting to float the idea of a merch table when Wendy finished the fight that took her character to the semifinals. Her eyes flicked from the flashing 'Victory' screen to the large neon clock mounted over the prize counter at the arcade.
"Shit!"
"What's up?" Tambry asked, tactfully taking the the moment to change topics... She could smooth the band stuff over with Robbie later. Wendy hurriedly pushed the few quarters stacked between the buttons and joystick into her open palm and stuffed them into her jacket pocket.
"I'm late for work- Stan's gonna freak!" She cried, still sparing a rueful glance for the Fight Fighters cabinet in spite of herself.
"Guess you better get going." Robbie nudged as he sidled into her place. Wendy rolled her eyes.
They all murmured their goodbyes, except for Robbie. To Wendy's chagrin, he was already squandering her chance at a high score. She shook the loss away as she stepped out of the dark arcade into the sunshine... There were bigger fish to fry. A foolish grin bloomed on her face.
She was scheduled to work with Dipper today.
Her feet carried her across the street towards Greasy's and the shortcut through the forest behind the log-shaped diner. She waved to one of the line-cooks smoking out back just before she ducked into the trees. The small wooden footbridge cut right across the river and a dirt path through the woods led right to the Mystery Shack... If she walked fast, she could make it to work only twenty minutes late. She might even avoid Stan completely.
Wendy hoped she could be that lucky. He might even be out running errands. Late afternoons could be slow, so plenty of time to slack off. She and Dipper could go up to the roof and he could finally tell her how things were going at the Northwest mansion.
She'd seen so little of him that summer that all she could do was guess what his job entailed. Plus, she had to admit that she missed him. A lot.
She rounded the bend that took her past the plunge pool at the foot of Gravity Falls' namesake, the rushing din of the waterfall a promise that she was almost there. Through the pine boughs, she caught a glimpse of the ketchup and mustard awning of the Mystery Shack's golf cart. Mabel with a summer fling parked by the water's edge? Soos and Melody taking a little smooch-break out of their busy schedules? Stan mackin' on Lazy Susan?
Wendy approached, ready to shout a greeting over the roar, but what she saw at the water's edge stunned her into silence.
Pacifica's head rested on his shoulder. He was smiling, laughing at something she had said... The waterfall drowned everything out, even the low breath that rushed out of Wendy's own throat as she watched Dipper lean down to kiss-
Wendy ripped her eyes away; Forced her whole body to run. Ground and trees bled together, muddied by her swirling vision. She yelped in pain as her foot caught a tree root, stumbling momentarily. She stood in the path, alone again, shuddering.
Then the tears came, hot and endless, no matter how much Wendy wiped them away with the sleeve of her shirt. She let out a quavering sob, long and deep in her pain... Held herself, and tried to pull back from the precipice of complete despair. The rational part of her mind commanded that she pull it together. She was late. She had to go to work. She began walking again.
Stop it. Stop crying.
"Who was that?" Pacifica laughed breathlessly as they broke apart. Dipper looked back towards the path, embarrassed as he tried to fix his disheveled appearance. Whoever had passed had graciously decided not to linger. The lower branches of the trees swayed as if someone had brushed through them in a hasty exit.
"I'm glad they didn't stick around." He smiled nervously, any passion thoroughly doused by the intrusion. There was a fresh hickey at the base of his throat that would be the butt of a lot of jokes if he didn't find some way to cover it up. He checked his watch, "Should we get going back anyway?"
Pacifica pouted, "We can't stay here just a little longer?" Her hand crept towards his thigh and he took it in his own to prevent its progress.
"You're driver's probably back and I've got to help in the gift shop, otherwise Stan's gonna give me hell if I'm any later than this."
Not to mention that it'd be the first time he'd been scheduled to work with Wendy in the last few weeks... That he had a lot of news to fill her in on was the understatement of the century.
"Fine. " Pacifica gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it to fix her hair. Dipper frowned, unsure if she was actually mad or just pretending. He exhaled slowly and backed the cart back onto the road.
"You're late Corduroy!"
Wendy's head snapped up and she realized that she was on the edge of the parking lot. The afternoon sunlight hit the old weather vane on the top of the Mystery Shack and the light fractured in her blurred vision. Stan Pines was hefting a cardboard box out of the trunk of the Stanmobile just a few feet away. He was getting ready to lambaste her for costing him time and money, but the words died when he saw her tear-streaked face. His expression melted into pure dismay. "Kid, I'm sorry, if it was somethin' I said-"
This was so awkward. Wendy shook her head. "No Stan, it's not you, I just..." She choked out, remembering the scene in the woods again. Things were getting worse by the minute. "I just need to pull myself together." She managed. Stan looked thoroughly uncomfortable, his eyes darting left and right, looking for an escape. If she weren't in total distress it would have been funny, the way he was waffling. He grumbled, looking down at the box in his arms, and threw it back in the trunk of the car with a metallic rattle.
"Ok- Listen, I've got an errand I need to run... Sure, you look strong. I need you to help me... Lift things? Yeah, Lift things. Get in the car." He babbled, slamming the trunk shut and walking around to the driver's side. Grateful and overwrought, Wendy got in and closed the door just as Dipper and Pacifica were driving back up the dirt path to the shack's parking lot. Stan came around and stood in front of her door, blocking her mostly from view as he chewed Dipper out for his tardiness. He punctuated his rant with his favorite phrase, "GET BACK TO WORK!" And glared after the two teens as they sheepishly drove away before he finally got into the car. He muttered unintelligibly under his breath about 'stupid horny teenagers' as he pulled out onto the road.
Dipper looked over his shoulder just in time to see Stan leaving in the Caddy. He glimpsed the back of Wendy's redhead in the passenger seat, and his stomach did an uneasy flip.
"Babe watch out!" Pacifica's hand grabbed his shoulder and he stopped just short of a head-on collision with a parked tour bus.
"Sorry, that was a close one." He finished parking the cart and Pacifica's driver trotted over, his cap in one hand.
"Miss are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine! Just go wait by the car."
"But Miss, we're already behi-"
"God, I'll be like ten seconds! Just go!" Pacifica snapped in exasperation, cutting his words off. She looped an arm in Dipper's own and pulled him around the corner of the Mystery Shack, away from the prying eyes of her chauffeur. "It's a total cliché, but it really is hard to find good help these days." She sighed as she leaned against the wall.
Dipper wanted to tell her that her 'rich brat' side was showing, but then Pacifica pulled his face down to hers and seared the thought out of his brain with a hungry kiss.
"Call me tonight?" She purred, running a perfectly manicured hand through his unruly mop of hair.
"Yeah, of course!" He was breathless, and even a little nervous that someone might have seen them kissing again. Pacifica grinned and gave him a loud smack on the lips once more before they walked out to her car together. Dipper saw her off, rubbing his forearms absently.
Stan drove.
He tried to think of the important things in life- his next vacation to Atlantic City, when his dry-cleaning would be ready for pickup, and an absolute honey of a scheme that only needed a few chipmunks from the woods and one of Ford's more potent samples of interdimensional fungi. He tried not to think about his employee, weeping with her knees drawn up to her face in the passenger seat. His frown winced into a full-on grimace as she drew in another shaky breath. Clearly, she was making every attempt to hide her sorrow, but she wasn't an old-timer like him, therefore she sucked at it.
Finally, he cleared his throat, "You wanna tell me what's wrong?" He asked awkwardly. She shook her head.
What was she supposed to say?
'Oh, sorry I'm late Stan, I was making my merry way through the woods to work and happened upon your grand nephew sucking face with another girl and for SOME reason it has me wrecked beyond all expectation.'
Wendy was silent, still torn. She couldn't help it... She needed to know. "Dipper and Pacifica?" She finally rasped.
"Ah yeah, not sure when they got together but even an old codger like me can tell that she's had quite a thing for him, hanging around the shack all the time, never buying anything, not even one lousy stinkin' tchotchke- I'd kick her to the curb for loitering if she weren't one of Mabel's..." Stan's rant petered out as the realization dawned on him. "Oh."
Wendy shook her head. "I'm a fucking idiot, Stan." She murmured finally.
Stan barked a short, disbelieving laugh, "Really? I mean, you're lazy, but I never would've pegged you for a rube."
He frowned again. "Me and my fat mouth. Shit." He muttered, "Sorry."
Even ol' Stan Pines was a rube, in love. His heart went out to her.
The awkward silence that followed could've stretched on for centuries. He fumbled around on AM radio until he found the easy-listening station that played all his favorite Perry Como, drove aimlessly around the outskirts of town, and as they completed another circuit Stan spoke again, "Feeling any better?"
"No." Wendy croaked.
Her tears had stopped, at least.
"I'm not the best person to talk to about this stuff." He stated, half-complaining. Wendy almost had to laugh, even if she felt like the world was ending.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh if you want. I've been around the block a time or two and I know something you don't."
"What's that?" She asked. Her glassy gaze watched Stan's reflection in the window as he grimly searched for a response. He tapped out a nervous tattoo on the steering wheel of the Caddy.
"I've been where you are now." He said finally, reluctantly. "It gets better, eventually." He glanced over at her just in time to see Wendy's hands fly up to cover her face again, crumpled with grief. "Trust me!"
She thought she had been completely wrung out, no more tears left to cry. She's been wrong.
They did another half-circuit of the dirt roads outside of town when she finally felt composed enough to speak. "Thanks, Stan. Really." He really had done his best to help her, in his own weird way.
Stan grunted, flapping a dismissive hand as he turned onto her driveway. It was nearing twilight, and the Corduroy family home was dark. Dan and the boys were off on a logging job and she had the house to herself. "Can I ask another favor?" She asked.
"What's that?"
"Well... Is it cool if I take some time off?" Wendy pleaded. She saw Stan's hands squeeze the steering wheel in repulsion at the phrase, 'time off'. It's not like she wanted to ask… It was hard enough, trying to save up all she could for after graduation, but she didn't know when she'd be able to face Dipper or Pacifica again.
"Sure." He forced through a clenched smile, "Take as much time as you need."
Wendy would've been shocked if she weren't so relieved. "Thanks, man."
He waved her off, "Don't- I'll have you working doubles when you come crawling back." Wendy smiled in spite of herself. For all his blustering, Stan could be a big softie when it counted. She gave him the best hug she could until he started complaining, "Alright alright already, get out of here before I change my mind! Jesus..." and with that, she hurried out of the car and into her empty house.
Wendy went up to her room, not bothering to turn on the lights, she shut the door behind herself and collapsed on the unmade bed.
She loved Dipper.
God damn it, she was in love with him.
..And it was her fault for pushing him away. For lying to herself. For pretending that nothing had changed from that day she'd rejected him after the incident in the bunker.
She had changed.
'Dipper's changed too, I guess.'
She hated this intrusive thought that floated to the surface of her grief... It came from that irrational part of her that felt betrayed by him… But he was simply moving on. It was she who had been too slow, too stubborn to accept that what she felt for him was real.
She had simply been too late.
Everybody's been burned before
Everybody knows the pain
Anyone in this place
Can tell you to your face
Why you shouldn't try to love someone
Everybody knows it never works
Everybody knows and me
I know that door that shuts
Just before you get to the dream
You see...
I know all too well
How to turn, how to run
How to hide behind
A bitter wall of blue
But you die inside
If you choose to hide
So I guess instead, I'll love you
The crackle of dust and white noise signified the end of the record. With a sigh, Wendy leaned forward from her spot against the pillows and lifted the needle.
It had been just a day after Stan had driven her home that she'd found the records.
She relished the solitude, but the absence of Dan and her brothers felt strange... No one to cook for, no one to clean up after... Her hands itched for a task. Something, anything to help her forget why she was staying at home alone. So, going through the junk in the basement seemed like a good idea.
A cloud of dust sent her into a coughing fit after she pulled a moth-eaten canvas tarp off a pile of boxes. it crumpled to the floor in a heap as Wendy inspected the small plastic briefcase perched atop an apple crate. Her fingers brushed by over the letters scrawled on the pebbled surface, reading her own initials: 'GBC'. She opened the lid and the emotions hit her like a ton of bricks. It hadn't been her own handwriting, it was her Mom's, and this must've been her record player. The old platter had survived years of dust and mildew in the basement, and the records looked a little worn, but playable.
Wendy forgot all about the basement, and a little while later, the record player and all the LPs were up in her bedroom. She collapsed exhausted on her bed after lugging it all upstairs. It was hard to believe how heavy just one crate full of records could be, but she'd managed it somehow.
There were these foggy memories she had... Sitting on the living room floor in her mother's lap, surrounded by 12" sleeves... The way her mom's long auburn hair tickled her face as she leaned over to cue a record... Low singing and the warmth of long fingers plaiting her hair as she dozed.
What would she have said about Wendy's troubles? Would she have listened quietly, with understanding and sympathy? Would she have advised and guided her over a couple of mugs of coffee in the kitchen?
Wendy sighed and shook her head, trying to banish such melancholy daydreams. These records were all she had left of the late Gwendolyn Corduroy, save for a few small trinkets and her own green eyes. They would have to take the place of what she craved more than anything.
'What would you tell me, if you were here?"
She would never know, but album after album soothed her. Days passed, and she allowed herself to think again... About her life, about Dipper, about the world beyond Gravity Falls. The future... Her future.
Wendy pulled the familiar Pine Tree hat over her eyes, blocking out the sunshaft that covered her bed.
"I am in love with Dipper Pines." She said aloud for the first time. It made her sick with butterflies just to think about it, but speaking the words aloud brought an odd finality of truth to her feelings. "I'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do about it." She breathed another sigh, "And I can't avoid him forever." That was also true.
A knock came at the front door.
With a grumble, Wendy rolled off the bed and slid Dipper's hat under her pillow. "Ok, ok!" She shouted in response to the insistent tapping. Out the window, she saw Tambry, knocking and scrolling through her text messages simultaneously. It dawned on Wendy that she hadn't checked her phone since Stan had driven her home. She didn't bother, knowing that once the men of her family were up at the logging camp they were all radio silent.
"Don't you check your phone?" Tambry pounced on her as Wendy opened the door. "You had me worried for a minute there, girl." Wendy laughed, hugged her back, and apologized as they walked into the kitchen. "I tried to text and then I tried to call and then today when the guys all said they hadn't seen you since last weekend I freaked out and came right over... Where's the wolfpack?" Tambry stopped short, looking around the empty house.
"They're all up north on a job." Wendy explained, sipping her ice water.
"You mean to tell me your whole family is out of town and we're not partying?!" Tambry cried incredulously, sweeping her purple fringe from her eyes. Wendy's gaze dropped to the cup in her hands, running her thumbs over the rim sheepishly.
"I haven't exactly been in a partying mood."
At this, Tambry frowned, regarding Wendy's disheveled appearance... The oversized panther shirt worn thin with holes around the shoulders, her hair a tangle wrestled into a messy bun on top of her head, and more disconcerting than anything, the red rimmed swell of her eyes. She'd been crying... A lot. "What happened Wendy?" Tambry frowned deeper when her friend's shoulders stiffened.
A moment later, Wendy laughed, hollow and tired.
"You're gonna think I'm so dumb, dude..."
Tambry scooted closer to her friend, slipping an arm around her lovingly.
"I'll be the judge of that."
Then Wendy told her everything, and she didn't touch her phone even once.
Later, they sat up in Wendy's bedroom, listening to music and drinking coke with whiskey from Wendy's hidden closet stash. "You should totally just steal him back, Wen." Tambry laughed at Wendy's flabbergasted expression, "What! You are waaay hotter and cooler than that little Pacifica brat."
"No way dude, I'm not evil!" Wendy cried before sipping her crude cocktail, "Besides, what happened to you being totally anti-boyfriend theft?"
Tambry rolled her eyes, "Yeah, when it's my boyfriend. Anybody else and you know I'm siding with you, right?"
"Right, but there will be no boyfriend stealing. None, nada, zilch."
"Ok, but then what are you going to do?" Tambry asked, yawning. Wendy, relishing the warmth of the alcohol, turned this question over.
"I dunno man... I guess I'll just have to get over him. Or wait?"
"Ew, waiting is so not you."
"Ok, then I'll try to get over it!" Wendy cried in exasperation. Tambry leaned back against the pillows, pushing a hand underneath and after a moment retrieving Dipper's old hat. She had only a moment to regard its crumpled form before Wendy grabbed it out of her hands and cradled it to her chest along with her drink.
"Is that what I think it is?" Tambry grinned, earning wordless confirmation when a hot embarrassed blush burned Wendy's cheeks. "You've held onto it all this time?"
"So what? We traded!" Wendy shot back defensively. Tambry put a placating hand up in an attempt to soothe Wendy's frayed nerves. It was just a little disconcerting... She'd never been this way about a guy before.
"Ok ok, new topic: what are you wearing to my party?" At this, Wendy sighed and flopped beside her friend against the pillows.
"I have no idea... I've just been so distracted lately, haven't given it much thought." She confessed.
"Hell no dude, you have to go as something. It's our last one!"
"Yeah, I know..."
They talked well into the night, tipsy and excited for Summerween. Dipper lingered on in the back of Wendy's mind, but Tambry's enthusiasm was a welcome distraction. By the end of the night, they were both sleepily proclaiming that it would indeed be the best Summerween party ever.
It would be.
Wendy just knew it.
Icebreaker
Naoko Asakura
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters!
A/N: Wowie, a new chapter. I wasn't expecting to write it but after like a million versions of this, it finally happened. Hope you dug it, even if it was kind of a bummer!
BTW the song that I used as the scene transition in the middle of the story is "Everybody's Been Burned" by The Byrds.
A/N 2: Wowie! Another rewrite! I think this is the last time for this chapter… But never say never!