Something was different when she woke up. Her eyes remained shut, but her mind jumped to process everything she had witnessed and felt while she was with the man. But, as her mind struggled to sort through all the information, she could feel the complete wrongness of the air around her. Her brain so confusing in the mass of rolling thoughts, emotions, and memories that obscured any part of her mind that might be aware enough to make sense of what was going on around her.
The faint sensation of lying flat, as if on a bed, trickled into her mind slowly, as anger, pain, pride, hope, and fear clouded more than just the part of her mind she usually left for decoding emotions. It was all bleeding together, her memories with the dark-haired man's face mixed with emotions that didn't feel like hers. Memories, otherwise hopeless and sad, were now associated with the feelings of pride and happiness.
If this man was locked in this cell and couldn't find a way out then she knew her own cell would be impossible to escape.
The thought, attached to the memory of the first time she had seen the dark-haired man, shredded through her mind. The underlying emotions of that thought, desperate hopelessness, came to her surrounded by joy and anticipation. It overwhelmed her as that thought, that pinpoint in her memory, shattered.
Shards of that memory ripped and tore into other memories, other thoughts, other emotions, damaging them, infecting them with the same disease that had destroyed the first one. She watched, horrified, as the memory of her mother laughing became gray and crumpled until it was only a small and weathered memory.
Other memories, less important, some that she hadn't known existed in her mind, shattered or just crumpled.
But, as she watched a more recent memory become infected, everything in her mind suddenly went still, frozen as Sigyn's whole being became aware of how important that one memory was to her, despite having experienced it only minutes ago.
It was the man's face. He looked at her, his eyes shining almost as if he were about to cry. His face was scrunched in desperation and depression. His eyes held fear. With his back against the wall, handheld outstretched, he said words that she knew would haunt her for a very, very, long time. "Don't go."
Those two words, stretched out to an eternity but also happening at every point of her existence, pushed her to fight. She stopped the memory from shattering, and the others that were now infected from breaking apart as well. She drove the sickness out of her mind, grasping each memory and surrounding it with his face, his words.
Her mind, still chaotic with rumbling thoughts and emotions, felt healthier despite her exhaustion. She carefully searched for the cause of the entire ordeal, feeling her mind gently for holes or damage.
It took longer than it should have for her to realize that the walls she had so carefully built and strengthened over the last four months, had been completely mutilated. Holes and tears existed in what was left of the barrier, ripped apart as if a monster had been rampaging through her mind. But, as she spotted the red tint that glowed dimly at the edges of each tear, she realized a monster had been ripping through her mind.
As quickly as she could, while also being careful of the wounds in the wall, she patched and rebuilt, thanking the universe when foreign emotions suddenly stopped invading her mind. She surveyed the red tinge around the now healing wounds, prodding it with her mind gently.
It was the doctor's mind. He had been in the room with her when her shields fell. Somehow, someway, his mind and emotions had wormed into hers, tainting it.
Anger as she had never felt before coursed its way through her mind, building and building until the force became something tangible in the air around her. Distantly, she heard voices call out in confusion, but the anger held, growing stronger as each memory of Doctor Barret suddenly appeared at the front of her mind.
He was going to pay for what he did, even if it killed her to do it. So she reached out with her mind, searching, waiting, hoping that he would be there. He was.
Her eyes snapped open and immediately met those of the man she was now hunting. His brown eyes didn't show fear as her body jerked against the restraints she hadn't realized held her to a table. But that didn't matter. Not when she held the man's mind, cupped gently within her own presence.
The energy that had been building around her grew stronger, causing the other three people in the room to press themselves against the closest wall. But those people didn't matter. They weren't the ones she wanted, at least not yet.
She grinned at Doctor Barret, gripping his mind tight enough so that he became well aware of the amount of danger he was in. His face drained of color, his expression changing from smug pride to fear as he realized he only had a few precious moments left to live.
Efficiently, Sigyn pushed the fear she had felt as he had dissected her so long ago into his mind, not bothering to be careful about the damage she did.
Doctor Barrett's fists clenched, his whole body going rigid as she ripped through his mind, clawing and tearing holes, just as he had somehow done to her. She sent that force that had gathered around her to him, pushing him so forcefully into the wall that she could hear the snap as his ribs broke.
He was feeling real pain now, and Sigyn could tell that several of his organs were damaged, that he was going to die from that bleeding, but not before she ripped his mind into so many shreds that, even if he did survive, he would be nothing more than a shell.
Sigyn watched as she finished ripping his mind apart, leaving just enough of him left to be aware that he was dying, to feel the pain of the injuries that she had inflicted upon him.
He slid down the wall moments later, Sigyn releasing him as she felt his life leave every piece of his body.
She wished she could have taken her time destroying him, but she was aware that these people in the room with her would get over their fear soon and sedate her. Or someone else would enter the room to stop her as well.
But none of that mattered now. Her anger and the power surrounding her dissipated, the task she had set out to do completed. She had not been able to defend her mind as the damage happened, so she defended herself by destroying the mind that had done it, preventing it from happening again.
After it was done, her mind and body fell into an exhausted haze. She was dimly aware of the room around her, of people talking, angry voices. She had the impression, from the emotions that were dimly leaking through her walls, that she had been out of her body, essentially unconscious, for much longer than she realized.
But she was so tired. Her mind had been sent somewhere unknown, attacked by a man with no kind or pure thoughts, and she had used any of her remaining energy killing the man who had done it. For now, she needed rest. She didn't care what the people did to her. All she wanted was to sleep.
Fragments of memories danced across her mind as they tried to find the other pieces they belonged with. As they flitted back and forth and around, sounds and images pushed their way to the forefront of her mind.
A high pitched voice, filled with hate and grief came first. "I hate you, I wish you would have died!"
Her father stared down the barrel of his pistol at her, telling her he had been aiming to kill her.
Her sister's wedding froze in front of her. Her sister standing in the high collared white dress next to a man in a stylish suit. Relief as she realized that her sister was finally in good hands.
Joy as her brother's first child was born, followed by another.
Pain as she watched her mother fade away, her body going completely still.
Screaming, echoing off metal walls as doctors surrounded her.
And the man, whispering those last words to her as his eyes filled with pain.
But her mind settled on a succession of memories, undamaged by the disease that had plagued her mind.
It was several weeks after that first job the girl accepted. Already she had become popular among the gentlemen who requested services from the organization that she now worked for. She requested that most of her clients see her during the day, while her siblings were in school, though she refused to say that was the reason.
Her siblings stayed unaware of the job she had found for herself, but they knew that there was now money coming into the household. But they were still angry at her, only speaking to their older sister when they had no other choice.
Her memory skipped forward a year and a half. The girl's brother had graduated from secondary school and had enrolled in a university on the other side of the city. He had found an apartment, a job to support himself, and had been accepted into his program of choice.
After her sister had graduated from her ladies secondary school, the two young women started finalizing candidates for the younger girl's marriage. But, fate chose for the younger sister as she fell in love with a man who also loved her. He had a great job, and his family had been very accepting of her. But, even after her brother had moved to his own apartment, and her sister married, the woman continued to work as she did, visiting men and being paid well.
It wasn't until her brother, visiting her to tell her of a girl he wanted to marry, that the truth of what she had been doing to support herself and her siblings for the past several years came to light.
Her brother was not as disgusted as she thought he would be. Instead, he apologized.
"I didn't know what you were doing to keep us off the streets. You kept us in school, you let us succeed, but I've only ever been angry at you. I'm sorry."
Despite her high standing within the escort services, the woman stopped seeing clients as her brother helped her find a job that she should have had in the first place. Eventually, she settled with assisting a doctor in his private practice, helping with patients and using her abilities in small ways to help ease the patients out of nervousness, and occasionally ease them into death.
After her sister's third child had been born, the woman remembered looking into the mirror and staring in shock as she realized something wasn't quite right. In fact, it was rather wrong. She leaned closer, hoping that her imagination had put the thought into her head. But the closer she looked and studied her face, the more obvious it became.
Her face, and her body she realized, were still young. At almost thirty years old her face and body should have shown signs just like every other person. But there wasn't a hint of wrinkles next to her eyes, or around her mouth. Her skin, while still freckled, stayed otherwise flawless. Her body had not gained the extra weight that everyone seemed to after growing into adulthood. She looked young, as young as she had when she was eighteen struggling to support her siblings.
She knew her time was limited, that people would start to notice, so she planned for the future.
The first comment came just two years later. The three siblings had met for lunch on a bright afternoon, catching up and discussing how life was for each of them.
They were surprised when Mrs. Gilbert, a neighbor when the three of them lived in their parent's house before their mother died, approached them just as they were finishing their food.
"Well, isn't it just so nice to see the Carnell children again!" She was smiling widely as the three of them looked at her.
She had aged, that was much was obvious from her graying hair and much more subdued clothing. She was much more plump than before, wrinkles on her face.
"Look at you," she said, looking to the youngest sister. "I've heard that you have three children of your own now. And you," she turned to the brother, "if I understand correctly, are about to graduate with not one, but two doctorate degrees. And you," she turned to the older sister, "made sure they succeeded."
The three siblings smiled, saying thank you, offering pleasantries in return. But her memory highlighted the next words Mrs. Gilbert said to her.
"You all look wonderful and healthy, especially you Eura." She looked at her with confusion for a moment. "You look exactly like I remember you. You haven't aged a day!"
She said it with false cheer and a fake smile, and then she knew. Mrs. Gilbert had seen that she wasn't aging normally. The plans she had made for the past two years suddenly became more urgent.
As Mrs. Gilbert walked out the door of the restaurant, Eura grew quiet as her brother and sister spoke to one another. Eura just enjoyed the sound of their murmuring voices, wondering if this would be one of the last times she would hear them.
Eura Carnell. That had been her name, or at least it had been the name her parents had given to her. She knew, with very sudden clarity, that while it had been her name when she was born, she had taken many others over the course of her life, moving and changing her name every seven to ten years.
But now she knew more about who she was before this mess began. She knew her name, and she had remembered her brother and sister's name. Rupert and Magnolia.
But, as important of a milestone that was, things were changing now, not in the past. Doctor Barret, the man who had tortured her to the edge of her sanity, was dead. She had killed him with her raw power, her mind-crushing his as her physical power crushed his body.
She had done it. It was one of the first things she set out to do once she was in her right mind. He was dead.
He hadn't been the first she had killed, and she doubted that he would be the last if she ever escaped this place. There were going to be a lot of people who paid for what they had done to her.
Sigyn knew that they would be more careful with her from now on. That much had been obvious when she had awoken to her cell, empty except for the mattress, toilet, and shower. They had taken everything from her, all her extra blankets, her books, hairbrush, even the rubber ties she used to braid her hair. It was all gone. Even her food had started lacking. They didn't feed her the sludge-like before, but they had replaced her food with rice, beans, bread, and unseasoned meat.
It hurt her more than she ever would have thought it would. The lack of comfort, even in material items, had affected her in ways she didn't know it could. There was the hope that had been slowly building unnoticeably in the back of her mind. But all of that had been crushed slowly, agonizingly, as she realized that the things she had started to take advantage of weren't coming back.
Weeks had passed, and there were no surprises with her meals as there was before. The door between her room and the cube's room didn't open once. She was surprised to miss it.
She stayed cuddled on her mattress under her blanket, trying to stay warm under the thin covering. She only stood to eat, her instincts driving her to survive. But she had given up. Her reason for living had been nothing but instinct for so long, and the loss of everything that had become good drove her back behind the line she had only just crossed.
So she lay there. Waiting as her body started to waste away from disuse, as her mind started to shrivel from lack of exercise. She waited for death to take her, welcoming the weakness that started to creep through her body once again.
Her mind slipped away little by little until only immediate thoughts and basic emotions existed. And then she could feel it, about two months after she had killed that man. Her mind broke fully. And as she closed her eyes, she could only hope that she wouldn't wake up.