Breakfast never looked so unappetizing to Kristina until today. On any normal day, Kristina would salivate at the photo in the bottom right corner of the Kelly's menu; golden slices of toast, fluffy scrambled eggs, and crisp bacon strips cooked to perfection. Instead, the pit in her stomach, spawning the moment she offered to carry her would-be niece or nephew, swallows any hunger she's meant to feel.
She's not sure why she offered in the first place. It was a spur-of-the-moment, she thinks, an impulsive comment that was only meant to lift Molly's mood. She pushed herself to roll with that explanation, to let the hesitancy she felt (and still feels) over the offer take over. The regret was strong then, and it remains strong as she sits at the table, but she can't help but own the altruism in her offer. She curses how big her heart is.
"Are we still waiting on Molly?" Sam asks.
"She'll be here in a few minutes," Alexis says gently, "She says she has some big news."
"Good or bad?"
"She didn't say."
"Hm," Sam turns to her younger sister, nudging her, "Do you know anything?"
"...Hm?" Kristina snaps her head up, looking between the other women, "What?"
"Molly says she has some big news. Do you happen to know what it is?" Alexis clasps her hands together.
"Oh…um…" Kristina gulps, the pit deepening, "Wouldn't it be better for Molly to say it herself?"
"So you know," Sam gives her a look.
"Yes? No? Maybe? Let's just wait for Molly."
"No need," the young woman stands in the doorway, a black trenchcoat on, "I'm here."
"And we're glad you are," Alexis smiles as Molly takes the empty seat to her right.
"Mom says you have big news," Sam props an elbow on the table, "Wanna tell us?"
"Um," Molly glances at Kristina briefly, scanning her face, "yeah, I do."
"What is it?"
"Well…I just got back from my appointment with Dr. Navarro."
"How did that go?"
"...Not great."
"What happened?"
"She…" Molly inhales, "She ran some tests and, well, she determined that I'm…that I…I can't have kids."
"Oh, Molly…" Sam's eyes shimmer with sadness, mirroring Alexis's prominent frown. Kristina avoids eye contact with them, a mix of sorrow and guilt deepening the pit. She's not sure if she feels sadness or bile in her throat, "I'm so sorry."
"It's terrible news," Alexis follows with.
"It is," Molly sighs, looking down at her lap.
"Does TJ know?"
"Yeah…yeah. I, um, called him on the way here."
"You two really wanted a baby of your own," Sam remarks, "and now you have to deal with this. It's heartbreaking."
"Did Dr. Navarro tell you what was specifically wrong?" Alexis asks.
"She…" Molly takes another deep breath, "She said that I can't carry to term, that it would be hard for me to conceive and carry a baby. She called it," she raises her fingers, "'impaired fecundity.'"
"Did she recommend any treatment to deal with your condition?"
"She thought I could benefit from taking fertility drugs and doing some hormone therapy, and then we'd see if that worked after a year or so."
"Okay," Sam nods slowly, noting Molly's refusal to look up, "but…?"
"I don't want to wait a year to try and have a baby. TJ and I have been trying and trying and trying. The last thing we want to do is wait."
"Molly," Alexis clears her throat, "if that's what Dr. Navarro said to do, then you should listen to her."
"I know that, but listening to her means waiting and we don't want to do that. And besides," Molly looks at Kristina expectantly, "there's more than one way to have a baby."
"Is that so…?" Alexis follows her youngest daughter's eyes. Sam does the same. Kristina feels herself sink into her chair in response.
"Do you want to tell them," Molly leans in close, "or should I?"
Kristina glances at the young woman, the lump in her throat growing. She readjusts her posture, her back pressed into the head of her chair, looking between her sisters and mother.
Her words are meek and shaky: "I told Molly I'd have her baby."
The shock is palpable as both Sam and Alexis gawk at her. Molly looks away from her, keeping her composure. The silence sits on her shoulders like rocks, crushing the bones they rest on. If the floor was able to swallow her whole, she'd happily let it.
Alexis is the first to respond, "You agreed to do what?"
"Krissy offered to be my surrogate," Molly gives a half-smile.
"Yeah, I got that."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam leans towards her younger sister.
"...Yeah," Kristina sighs, air leaving her nostrils.
"You do know that in order to be a surrogate, you had to have been pregnant before, right?" Alexis crosses her arms, "As far as I'm aware, you've never been."
"Right-"
"But she doesn't need to be," Molly cuts in.
"She…kind of does," Alexis turns to her, "Otherwise she won't be approved."
"That's not necessarily true," Molly replies, "I did some research before my appointment, and some websites claim that surrogates are accepted on a case-by-case basis. I asked Dr. Navarro about it too."
"What did she say?"
"She said that while it's better for me to pick a surrogate who's been pregnant before, I don't have to. I don't see why Kristina can't be my surrogate."
"Molly," Sam leans back in her seat, "why didn't you ask me or Mom instead? We've both been pregnant before, and I know I'd be happy to be your surrogate."
"You guys have your own lives and, no offense," Molly looks between Sam and Alexis, "but you guys are a bit too old to have a baby."
"That doesn't mean we couldn't do it," Alexis points out.
"Oh my God," Molly puts her head in her hands, "why can't you guys accept this?"
"We're not upset that you chose to go the route of surrogacy," Sam begins, "we're just concerned with how you're going about it."
"Because she picked me?"
All eyes shift to Kristina, whose crossed arms rest just above the top of her torso. A look of determination rests on her face, annoyance present in some of her features. Alexis sighs at the sight while Sam purses her lips. Molly gives her sister a smile.
"What's wrong with me carrying my niece or nephew?" Kristina questions.
"Well…nothing," Sam answers, "but you've never been pregnant. What if you also can't have a baby?"
"And you also have things going on," Alexis adds, "You're managing Charlie's Pub and volunteering at the Youth Center. I'm sure you enjoy the freedom you currently have with your day-to-day life."
"That doesn't mean I can't be Molly's surrogate."
"...Sure, but-"
"Kristina, pregnancy is a big thing," Sam's voice is firm, "Your life is going to change during those nine or so months. You'll be dealing with a lot of physical and mental changes, from sickness to mood swings, and it can take a toll on you."
"I know-"
"We just want you, both of you," Alexis glances between Kristina and Molly, "to be smart about this."
"We've made up our minds, Mom," Molly says.
"And I'm more than capable of taking care of a baby," Kristina follows with, frowning.
"No one's saying you're not capable-"
"Then why can't you support us?"
"We know what it's like to be pregnant," Alexis flits her pointer finger between Sam and herself, "to deal with all the symptoms and risks. You two haven't."
"And it's not that we're refusing to support you," Sam chimes in, "we're just sharing our side of things."
"Well, I appreciate your input," Molly responds, "but we know what we're doing."
"I'll get tested, I'll go through screenings," Kristina says, her voice firm and confident, "I'll do everything I need to so that Molly and TJ can be parents."
"...You're really committing to this, aren't you?" Alexis observes.
"Is that a problem?"
"No-"
"Is it bad that I want to help my baby sister get something she wants?"
"No, I'm not saying that. It just seems like-"
"Like what?"
"Like…" Sam clears her throat, "like you're…overcompensating."
"Overcompensating?" Kristina drags the word out, her voice pitching up at the end, "Seriously?"
"I don't want to start anything," Alexis puts her hands up, "I don't."
"I'm sorry, but, uh, when did this go from surrogacy to Kristina overcompensating?" Molly asks.
"I just thought that you were happy with how things were going in your life, and now you're suddenly agreeing to carrying Molly and TJ's baby?"
Kristina blinks at her mother, "...I don't know where this idea that I'm overcompensating for my life, or whatever it is, came from, but I know that I don't have to sit here and take it."
"Kristina," Sam calls out, "wait-"
The door to the diner slams shut behind Kristina as she marches to her car. The pit in her stomach, once deep and empty, is full of fire, a determination that carries her through her drive to the Harborview penthouses. Her footsteps are hard and loud as she makes her way to her father's home. She stops herself when she sees a group of bodyguards standing by the front door.
"Good morning, Kristina," one nods her way as she passes by. She holds up a hand as her greeting, moving past each man until she makes it to the front door in question. The one closest to the orange brown structure grabs the doorknob and twists, letting her into the penthouse.
Her footsteps are brisk as she enters, closing the door behind her, "What's with the beefed-up security?"
"Nothing you need to worry about."
Sonny's voice is as casual as it can be as she looks his way. His hands are in his pockets, his gaze soft yet sturdy.
"Nothing I need to worry about?" she repeats, approaching him. She tosses her purse onto a nearby chair, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Sonny pulls his hands out of his pockets, extending his arms her way, "c'mere."
"Hi, Dad," she embraces him, his arms tight around her torso.
"What brings you by?"
"I…was hoping I could talk to you about something."
"Sure," Sonny guides her to the L-shaped black sofa. The pair sits adjacent to one another, "What do you want to talk about?"
"Promise me you won't freak out?"
"I promise."
"Okay," Kristina inhales, "Molly is trying to have a baby…and I agreed to be the one to carry it."
Sonny sits in silence for a moment, processing the information, "...You're having a baby? Your sister's baby?"
"...Yeah."
"Okay," Sonny nods slowly, clasping his hands together over a nearby pillow, "and you're sure you're ready for that?"
"I can handle it."
"Well, it's a big thing, Kristina. Lots of…physical and emotional changes come with pregnancy-"
"I think I'll be okay."
"Does your mother know?"
"...She does," Kristina looks down, "I actually saw her before coming here."
"How did she take it?"
"About as well as you'd expect. She and Sam were giving their two cents to Molly and I, talking about their pregnancies and how surrogacy actually works when all we wanted was support-"
"Well, did they say they didn't like the idea?"
"Well…I mean, I guess not," Kristina sighs gently, "How do you feel about it?"
"I agree with them: pregnancy comes with a lot of risks and surrogacy isn't as simple as picking a woman and having her carry a baby."
"But?"
"I trust Molly to make the decisions best for her and TJ when the situation calls for it, and if that means you're her surrogate, then you are. You have my support, always."
"Thanks, Dad," Kristina beams as footsteps echo in her ears. She turns to her right, raising her eyebrows at the man nearby. Dex stands by the entrance to the hallway, his hands behind his back and a surprised expression on his face. His black button-down shirt is tight on his lean body.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he says, looking at Sonny, "I didn't know you had company."
"Hi, Dex," Kristina nods at him.
"Hi, Kristina," he nods back, a smile on his face, "It's always nice to see you."
"Likewise."
"I'll leave you two to talk," Sonny gets to his feet, gesturing for Dex to approach. The older man leans in close to Kristina, "I meant what I said: you have my support. Always."
"Thank you," her voice is gentle. Sonny nods at her before walking around the sofa and entering the hallway. Dex takes his spot on the couch, placing a brown paper bag by the leg furthest from her.
"I hope I didn't interrupt anything," he begins.
"No, no, you're fine," Kristina waves him off.
"May I ask what you two were discussing?"
"You wanna know?"
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, I don't mind. We're friends, right?"
"Right."
"Okay," Kristina sits up, clearing her throat, "so you know my little sister."
"...Molly," Dex answers, "The ADA."
"Right. Well, she and her partner, TJ, they've been trying to have a baby. Unfortunately…she can't."
"That's a shame. I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, it's…not great news, but it's not all bad either."
"How so?"
"Because I'm going to carry their baby for them."
"...Uh huh," Dex's response is slow, matching the speed of his nod, "That's quite selfless of you; it's very admirable."
"Thanks," Kristina beams.
"If I may ask, why are you going to be your sister's surrogate? How did that come up?"
"I…offered," Kristina snaps her fingers, "just like that."
"Seems a bit impulsive."
"In the moment, it was."
"But now?"
"Now…I mean, it still feels that way, but I feel more comfortable about it. I'm doing something big for my sister, giving her something she, unfortunately, can't give herself."
"You have a good heart," Dex gives her a warm smile.
"I do what I can. I just…I enjoy helping people, y'know? Serving customers and Charlie's, volunteering at the Youth Center, and now this. Giving back…it makes me happy. I've been given a lot over the years, both good and bad, and I want to give to those who don't have much of anything. Everyone deserves to have some goodness, some hope in their lives, and I'd like to be the one to give it to them. Being my sister's surrogate is a way to do that…y'know, beyond doing it because I love her."
"I get where you're coming from," Dex reclines against the sofa.
"You've carried your sister's baby?"
"I…no, no," Dex chuckles. Kristina melts a bit at his toothy grin, "I'm pretty sure it's impossible for me to carry a baby, especially for a sister I don't even have."
"Very true," Kristina laughs in return.
"Yeah, but what I meant was, I know what it's like to make big heat-of-the-moment decisions."
"How so?"
"I've told you about being in the military before, haven't I?"
"You've mentioned it once or twice. Let me guess: you're going to tell me about one of the many high-stakes moments on your tours?"
"Not this time," Dex shakes his head, "Impulsive decision-making is kind of how I joined the military to begin with."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. I just graduated high school, and not only did I need to figure out my next steps, I needed an out."
"An out?"
"My family…they're not great people. I didn't grow up in a loving environment, and I swore to myself that once I graduated high school, I'd leave them behind."
"So you enlisted in the military."
"Yeah. I didn't have a lot of options, and at first, I didn't even consider the military. I knew some friends who planned to enlist, but it wasn't on my radar until I sat down and thought about how to get out. Now I'm here."
"And I'm very glad you are," Kristina grins. Dex mirrors her expression, stiffening his posture. As he moves, he hisses in pain, "You okay?"
"Y-Yeah," Dex breathes, "it's just my…my arm…"
"Can I help?"
"Um…sure," Dex leans down, using his right hand to grab the bag. Kristina shifts over, taking a seat on his left. She grabs the bag from him, picking up the gauze and bandages that sit on top. He points to his left upper arm, "It's my triceps."
"Okay," Kristina turns her body, reaching for his shirt. She gently unbuttons the garment, helping him out of it. His dog tags smack against one another as he moves. She lays her hands on his body, one on the small of his back and the other directly over his abs, as she looks at his bandaged triceps.
"Cut yourself shaving?" Kristina raises an eyebrow.
"Something like that," Dex replies. Kristina unwinds the gauze in place before gently removing the stained band-aid. Dex hisses all the while, gripping the seat beneath him.
"Sorry."
"It's…aah…it's okay. They only grazed me."
"It's a pretty nasty graze."
"The doctors your dad had on-call took care of it at the scene."
"And now I am," Kristina smoothed down the new band-aid with her hand before grabbing the gauze. She wraps the fabric around his triceps with a solid tightness, pinning it down when he tells her the pressure is enough. His ocean blue eyes are soft and deep as he gazes at her.
His voice is airy and gentle: "Thank you."
She freezes in place for a moment, her eyes locking with his. She absent-mindedly ran a hand down his back, stopping at the small of it. They sit in place for a moment before Kristina snaps back into reality.
"Yeah," she gently pats the area, "you should try and be more careful next time."
"Noted," Dex smirks at her. She smiles back before looking away. She runs her hands down her thighs before standing up, walking to get her purse.
"Heading out?" Dex asks, turning her way.
"Yeah," Kristina lays the strap of her purse on her shoulder, "I have a long shift ahead of me at Charlie's."
"Thanks again, for redoing my bandages."
"Anytime. Thanks for not judging me over the surrogacy thing."
Dex shrugs, "I have no room to judge. I'm in your corner."
"I'm glad," Kristina's smile is soft.
Dex relaxes his posture at the sight of it, "...Talk to you later?"
"Sure," she nods before opening the front door and walking out. Dex settles into the sofa, a small smile on his face. His phone suddenly buzzes in his back pocket, and he slowly retrieves it, gently hissing all the while. Josslyn's contact pops up on his screen, and he lets his thumb hover over the green icon before hearing footsteps behind him. He rapidly swipes her call away, turning to see Sonny behind him.
"Who was calling you?" Sonny asks.
"Uh…spam," Dex stutters, "nothing important."
"How was your talk with Kristina?"
"Good. She told me about being her sister's surrogate…and I let her know that I support her."
"Good," Sonny takes a seat in Kristina's spot, "With the choice that she's made…she'll need all the support she can get."
