After crying on AJ's shoulder for a few, painful moments, Alicia sits up and wipes at her face, steeling herself for what's to come. It's clear AJ's more than worried as she stares up at the taller diva, but she says very little as Alicia mumbles something- Alicia barely remembers what afterwards- and stumbles back down the hallway to her and Alex's room. He's still unconscious, sleeping off his drunkenness, and she sits. Waits. Stares at him, lost in thought. He doesn't get drunk often, but she still remembers, knows what to do.
When he wakes up a little after 5 AM, blurry eyed and mumbling, it's only a few seconds before he's up and running for the bathroom. She stares ahead blankly, listening to the silence in the bedroom, before unfolding herself from the chair and following him sedately. She cools a washcloth and lays it on his forehead, leaning against the wall and waiting yet again. Nausea slowly passing and taking with it dizziness, he squints at her and shakes his head, the memories of the night before stilted and barely something he can grasp. But he does remember looking up into her wet eyes and telling her that he doesn't want to get married. "What are you doing here?" he asks.
His voice is raspy and it makes both of them cringe as she fills a glass with cool water, handing that to him as well. "What do you think I'm doing here?" she responds coolly. "I'm your fiancee." He stares at her, confused and a mere shell of the man he used to be as he sips wearily from the glass. "I don't care what you said. I don't care what you did." She sits crosslegged in front of him and stares into his eyes. "I know you're going through a lot with rehab, and being so unhappy with where your career is right now. I know you feel like you can't stand another fight, but there's nothing to fight for when it comes to me. I'm yours, I've always been yours, and I'm sorry I didn't give you more warning about the Wade thing on Total Divas, especially this close to our wedding. That will always be something I regret not thinking through better." She reaches forward and takes the glass of water from him before curling his hands in hers, holding them close to her chest, allowing him to feel her broken heart still beating, still strong. For him. "You might not have the strength to fight for me and your career, but I do. And I will fight for us. I'm not giving up on you, Alex, so you can't give up on me. Alright?"
His eyes are dark, redrimmed, and she watches as he begins to cry, weakly at first, then harder, his muscled body shaking as he grips her hands so tightly that it almost hurts. She reaches forward and wraps her arms around him, drawing him into her and rocking him lightly on that cold bathroom floor, feeling each of his hitched breaths rock through her frame. She strokes his hair, kisses his wet face, counts his breaths, waits patiently until he quiets, fluttering eyelashes tickling her throat. The cool band of her engagement ring soothes his flesh as she strokes his cheek tenderly, holding her breath until he meets her eyes. "I am so sorry, Foxy," he whispers brokenly. "Will you still marry me?"
She smiles, tears filling her eyes this time. "Yes, of course," she whispers, cupping his face and kissing him softly, slowly, almost experimentally. When he responds eagerly, hungrily, she follows his lead and whimpers into his parted mouth, the distance between them the last few days finally melting away. His fingers drift down her shirt, pushing it up and resting against her bare midriff, and she moans softly, biting her lip when he shifts, pressing her against the wall and letting his hands roam across her heated flesh. Forehead to forehead, they take a minute to stare into each other's eyes, re-orient themselves to these feelings, the feverish sensations coursing through their bodies. "I love you," she whispers to him.
He traces his fingers down her sides, watching in awe as she whimpers and arches into his touch, needing so much more than this- needing everything- after the last few painful days. "I love you too," he says into her skin as he traces kisses down her throat, her collar, lower, lower, lower. Her fingers tangle in his hair, then fall lax as he repeats the words against every inch of her.
If AJ has questions, she keeps them to herself. Especially after seeing Alex and Alicia come out the next morning hand in hand, Alex looking happier than he has in weeks.
-x
Alberto has to be in Mexico for his hair vs hair match against Cage, and Ricardo regrets not being there for him, but he has a weekend full of matches in California himself, so instead he hugs his former employer in the airport and wishes him luck. "Not that you'll need it," he adds with a small smile.
"Gracias, mi amigo. I wish I could be here for your matches or at least bring you along for mine, but I have no doubt you'll do well yourself. Just take it easy, si?" He grips Ricardo's hand lightly and examines his still braced fingers. "No more broken fingers, or anything else."
Ricardo smiles. "I promise." They stand side by side until Alberto's flight is announced, then he reluctantly takes his leave of his former announcer, the younger man watching until he's out of sight before turning to leave. He has two matches this weekend, one against Chavo Guerrero, and he's eager to get started.
AJ and Mike, Paige and Sofia, Alex and Alicia are in the crowd, but John and Star are still having issues following Ultima Lucha so he's not surprised to see they're not there. It's a little mortifying that everyone's here to watch as he loses to Chavo but the two of them had put on a good match and the crowd seemed to enjoy it so he tries to comfort himself despite the loss. Paige's hug and kiss makes it all worth it as she congratulates him on the hard fought contest, smiling affectionately at him.
Alberto beating Cage and shaving him bald makes Ricardo relax even more, aware that this means Alberto will be much more at ease during the wedding the coming week. It's to be held at Alberto's house, outside in the yard, in the copse of trees where Alex had proposed all of those months ago. Sofia had been busy, coordinating the staff to make sure that everything is beautiful for the day, and Ricardo hopes that the gorgeous Florida weather will hold long enough.
After Paige, Mike, Alicia and the others fly out for Raw, Ricardo and Sofia thank AJ for hosting them before flying back to Florida, needing to finish getting things together for the wedding and not wanting to bother her any longer. He finishes training late Monday night and returns to the house, leaning against the front door. Curious, he slips outside and walks through where Sofia had been overseeing the wedding decorations.
It's still unfinished but he can tell already it's going to be a beautiful ceremony. Resting a hand against the nearest tree, feeling its cool bark against his fingers, he invisions being here with Paige- her in a simple but beautiful dress and he in a tux... exchanging vows in front of their friends and family... His lips twitch up into a small smile before he blinks and the vision in front of him changes- he's off in a corner, watching on brokenly as she stands before Kevin and promises her love and loyalty to him forever and ever. He freezes and shakes his head, frowning and hating himself for even allowing such thoughts to play through his mind. "No," he mumbles. "She loves me. I know... I know she does. It's just for the show. Right?" He stares up at the sky, unaware as he presses his hand further into the bark.
Once he finally comes to his senses, he realizes that the tree had cracked under the pressure of his hand, splinters embedded in the flesh around his brace. Cursing, he curls his already injured hand close to his chest and slips back inside to look for tweezers. As he meticulously picks the little slivers of wood out, lost in thought, he thinks perhaps he's come to some sort of a solution. It hurts and he knows that his closest friends won't approve but he can't think of any other way to give himself and Paige time to sort through everything otherwise.
For now though, his focus has to be on Alex and the wedding to come, so he finishes smearing first aid cream over his hand and rolls over for some badly needed sleep. Even his insomnia can't touch him this night as he sinks into a deep sleep, somewhat comforted by having a plan.
Sofia has most things ready when AJ arrives on Tuesday, hugging her and Ricardo warmly before going outside to see the area where the wedding will be held. Alicia had requested simple, just nature, so the only sign of where it's going to be are rows of rich brown chairs for their guests with purple cloths draped over the backs of them. "Oh," she breathes, wandering around the trees. "It looks gorgeous."
"Si, gracias," Sofia smiles, glad that AJ approves. Ricardo listens to them discuss it while peering over at the tree where his blood is still visible, reflecting on his decision once more.
After Tough Enough, Paige and Mike return, for once not arguing about everything under the sun about the show, and Ricardo watches quietly as the married couple reunite, AJ's arms snug around Mike's neck as he kisses her hello. He feels a pang of regret when Paige leans against him, but he shakes it off and grips her hand, taking her into the living room to watch Total Divas. It's a quiet episode, focusing on Natalya and the Bellas, and he's relieved for at least this one week where he and Alex both can breathe, where Paige and Alicia neither are obsessing over exes or current so-called relationships.
The next day dawns early and Alicia stares at herself in the mirror as AJ and Sofia bustle around, helping her with her makeup, her hair, the dress. Scant on the makeup and jewelry, she opts to only have the dress itself be her bit of flashiness, its billowing skirt surrounding her and intricate purple design swooping from the curve of her chest down her back until it bleeds into the edge of the skirt. Every time the light hits it just right, sequins along the chest glimmer and sparkle enticingly. Once they get her inside of it, AJ and Sofia both step back. "Twirl," the former diva whispers, watching as Alicia does just that, the dress spinning gorgeously with her every movement. "Oh, man," she breathes, tears filling her eyes. "You look gorgeous, Alicia."
"Truly stunning," Sofia nods, brushing at a few wisps of Alicia's hair.
Alicia blushes and giggles, clearly unable to believe that this day had finally come. "Thank you both," she whispers. AJ kisses her hand before going out to give herself a minute to collect herself and to see how the men are doing.
Being the matron of honor, AJ is wearing a soft lilac dress that stops just before her knees, and she feels gorgeous in it, but she can't help envying how much better Christina Crawford- Alicia's sister, her bridesmaid- fills hers out in comparison as she sidles up to her, overseeing the people milling around the trees. "How is everything going?"
"Fine," she whispers back. "The officiant is here, and I think Alex is getting antsy."
"Then I guess it's time," AJ says, catching Mike's eye. He nods and blows a kiss at her which she returns before heading back inside to alert the bride.
Alicia inhales at the news and hands AJ her bouquet- a simple little bunch of lilacs and baby's breath. "Thank you," she tells her quietly. "For everything. I doubt I'd be here right now if not for you."
AJ smiles, searching her face. Whereas, a few days ago, she hadn't been able to stop crying without a fresh flood pouring down her face a moment later, she seems together today. Blissfully happy, almost glowing. "My pleasure, Foxy. Now c'mon, let's go get you married, huh?"
They go slowly, AJ first, with Christina coming slowly behind, then Alicia with her father giving her away somberly. He kisses her cheek before turning to sit with Alicia's mom and AJ smiles, looking up at where Mike is standing behind Alex. Ricardo finishes the bridal party, a thoughtful look on his face which switches to a somewhat insincere smile when he realizes AJ is looking, but she doesn't have the time to question it or figure out what Ricardo's hiding.
All eyes are on Alicia, her dress, the beautiful happiness on her face, but she can't take her eyes off of her husband-to-be's face and he seems unable to look away from her as well. Alex's hands are warm around hers, the two of them barely listening to the officiant's description of love and everlasting loyalty, not paying attention until it's time for the rings. He hesitates, holding the ring over her hand and reciting after the man about sickness and in health, till death do us part, while pressing a beautiful silver ring with purple stones and diamonds onto her finger. Alicia repeats the actions, taking a breath as she puts the matching silver band on his finger.
They have personalized vows still to recite, however, so they stare at each other, listening to their friends and family behind them, the birds in the trees surrounding them. "You weren't expected in my life," Alex tells her. "You came out of nowhere when I was at my lowest, and you picked me up, and comforted me, and you've been doing it ever since. Every day, no matter how weak and bitter I feel, I find the strength to continue bettering myself, be the man that you deserve, that I want to be for you. I'm not sure where I'd be without you in my life and I'm glad that I'll never have to learn now." He lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles, staring into her eyes. "I don't deserve you, but I'll spend every minute of every day trying to, I promise you."
She sniffs and swallows, wiping at her eyes. "You make me the biggest sap, Alex Riley," she exclaims, smiling when there's slight laughter from the crowd. "I used to be a bitchy, unstable woman... and I still am, somewhat, but you ground me. Help me to see things clearer, and maybe even encourage me to be kinder to people." She brushes her fingers against his knuckles. "I want to make you feel as strong as you make me, and I promise I will spend every moment that I'm lucky enough to be with you doing just that. I don't know how I got so lucky to be graced with you and your love, but I will never squander it. Every time I get to come home to you, I count the seconds because when we're together, I feel so complete and beautiful. Thank you for everything you've given me, all of the important ways you make me feel. I love you."
He mouths to her that he loves her too before the officiant attaacts everyone's attention. Another spiel, short this time, thankfully, and then he tells Alex the best part: "You may now kiss your bride."
"I thought you'd never say," Alex mumbles, gripping Alicia around the waist and drawing her into him, kissing her and dipping her as best as he can in the dress. "Mrs. Alicia Riley," he breathes against her cheek as she giggles and grips him, overwhelmed by the realization that they'd finally done it. "I love you so damn much."
They remain lost in each other for another minute before remembering their guests, turning to look awkwardly at everyone. "Hi guys, sorry about that," Alicia exclaims, flushed as her friends and sister giggle at her. "There's a reception in Alberto's living room, there's plenty of food and drinks, go. Enjoy yourselves." The guests slowly trek in that direction, leaving her and Alex alone for a minute and he searches her dress with gentle fingers, finding the best way to free her from it later, before winking and gripping her around the waist, leading her back into the house.
The guests wander around, filling plates with finger foods and drinks- Sofia outdoing herself once more with chicken and steak finger sandwiches, AJ's eyes wide as she clearly struggles not to take all of the food for herself. "Hungry, huh?" Alicia asks playfully, maneuvering her dress around as she grabs a glass of champagne for herself.
AJ's giggle is weak but she nods, eyes shining with an overwhelming emotion that Alicia doesn't understand. "I'm so happy for you, Foxy," she says, hugging her friend.
"Thank you so much for being here," she murmurs back, squeezing AJ back. The reception goes by in a blur which Alicia is thankful for, itching to go back to the apartment, let those fingers fully free her from the beautiful satin and lace and introduce her to married life properly, but first they have to eat cake. She smiles mischeviously at Alex and smears it over his face before gently kissing the frosting and crumbs away from his lips as he huffs at her, eyes sparkling with love and good humor.
Their first dance is slow and quiet, set to Rob Thomas' All That I Am- Alicia had wanted something a little more cheerful, upbeat, but after the past week, this had come across her playlist and had spoke to her so she'd suggest the change and Alex had agreed. A few moments into the song, he leans close to her and whispers to her, "I breathe where you breathe."
She smiles, choked up, and whispers back, "Let me stand where you'll stand." Their eyes remain locked through the rest of the dance, intense and burning with love for each other. When the song ends, segues into the next- OneRepublic's Counting Stars- neither of them are eager to let the moment go, so they remain slow dancing for another good five minutes.
Orders all of the single women around and stands with her back to them, preparing to throw her bouquet.
"No bloody way!" Paige cries out, gripping the cluster of dark red carnations and purple anemones. Although she looks flushed and relatively pleased with it, when Alicia glances over at Ricardo, he has a pale, distant look on his face. But it's not her place to be concerned- not over those two anyway- so she turns her focus back to her husband, relieved when he makes their excuses a few minutes later and carries his wife out to the car, Alicia giggling and swatting him as he settles her into the passenger's seat.
They wave enthusiastically at their guests before peeling out, the group waving at them as they make a quick leave from the group.
Later that night, once everyone's left or gone to bed, Ricardo's in the living room, staring at it all, when Paige comes to find him. She looks sleepy and curious, settling next to him. Resting her head on his shoulder, her breathing slowly syncs up with his, slow and warm and comforting. He reaches out for her, squeezing her hand lightly, and barely winces when her fingers shift against where he'd torn the splinters from his flesh. "That was a nice wedding," she murmurs. "I wasn't sure what to think, considering it's Alicia and Alex, but it was gorgeous. And she looked so happy."
He nods, remembering that flash of Total Divas. Kevin, presumably, on his knee before Paige, proposing to her. He closes his eyes and grimaces, peering at her as she looks up at him, worriedly. "I'm fine," he says, barely listening to her as she fusses over his hand. "My hand is fine." He tears it from her grip, immediately feeling bad when her face falls. This isn't how tonight's supposed to go, he tells himself, trying to center himself, focus on his breathing. "I've been thinking."
She looks nervous now, turning all of her attention to him. "What about?"
"I love you," he says. "So much so that it hurts. We've been friends for a long time, and I never realized how deeply my feelings for you really went until you started to see me as more than just a friend too. But I watch Total Divas and it's like a knife through my heart, through my soul." He lifts her hand and lightly kisses it. "You're young, and you're so beautiful... and I'm just... I'm broken, emotionally and physically, and I'm just me, there's nothing... nothing extraordinary about me. You deserve better, you deserve time to figure out what you really need."
Her eyes darken, flash with something that he can barely catch. "You are not breaking up with me, Ricardo. You can't be. Please, no-" She reaches for his hands again but he pulls away, shaking his head grimly.
"It's because I love you so much that I'm letting you go. I'm no Kevin, I'm not even a Bradley. And I know you say that it's just because it's for the show, but I'm going to give you the time to decide on your own if that's really true, or if it's some subconscious thing where you know deep inside that I'm just not enough for you, and I may never be." He stands, turning his back to her frozen, uncomprehending expression. "I've been looking into it and I think I want to take a few months, live in India for awhile. Find myself again, figure out what I want next in my life as well."
She still hasn't moved when he turns to look back at her once more. "I love you, Paige. Never doubt that." He chokes on the next words, bitter tears beginning to fill his eyes although he knows that it's what she needs right now. "Be happy. Take care of yourself, let others take care of you." Every step away from her feels like he's walking on glass, on acid, on knives. But he forces himself to continue on until he's closed off in his bedroom, away from her but definitely not away from his guilt.
Where she sleeps that night, he's not sure but when he wakes up she's not anywhere in the house and her car's gone. He closes his eyes and leans against the doorway, a millionth doubt running through his mind as he presses his face into the soft wood, wishing that Alex's wedding hadn't brought all of his doubts to the forefront. That Total Divas had never become a thing.
Six months, he thinks, turning back into the house. "Now the fun part," he mutters, heading inside to tell Alberto and Sofia about his decision.