Sunlight streamed through the bedroom window bathing the room in a soft golden glow, the gemstone shards Emily had sewn into the curtains for me casting rainbows on the walls. I grunted as I stretched that good first morning stretch before quickly burrowing back under my comforter, the air a bit too cold still to brave getting out of bed just yet. Thankfully I remembered to pull out the heavier blanket last night, most days my head was too in the clouds to remember such details.
My growling stomach finally pushed me to get out of bed and I hurried through a steaming hot shower and, dressed in a warm sweater, jeans, and thick socks, made my way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I glanced around my little kitchen as I cooked, thankful again that I had the ability to decorate as eclectically as I wanted now. Roosters, sunflowers, some cliché wine décor, nothing matched and yet I loved it. They were things that made me happy, that settled my mind from the chaos swirling there.
Piling my breakfast on a plate, I took it and a big mug of coffee to my table and sat down with today's mail. I was happy to see the newspaper from Zuzu City had come in today. It didn't always make it here, which I couldn't complain about too much as it was a free one, but I loved the puzzle section that came in it and eagerly pulled it out. I decided to start with the crossword today and read through the clues for one I knew the answer to.
Orange soda loving high-schooler from the 90's sitcom 'Keenan & _'
Kel. And just like that my mind drifted to the ever present memories I tried so desperately to keep at bay. Nobody knew the full extent of what I had gone through with her, I had been too embarrassed to tell anybody and now...well, there was no point in telling people now. Petty arguments had turned into a slap in the face, followed by profuse apologies and promises to never do it again. But it had happened again. And again, and again. Until it finally escalated to a punch in the jaw which left me hospitalized. I wiped my eyes, angry to still find tears there after all this time. If only I could wipe the tears and memories away permanently.
No, I will not let myself get bogged down in these depressive thoughts. You got away from her, she doesn't know where you are. You have a new phone and a new number. You're stronger than before, so while it isn't likely she'll ever find you she can't hurt you even if she does.
I continued through some calming exercises and affirmations I found online for a few minutes until my heart rate and breathing both slowed to a normal pace. I glanced at my coffee mug, another frivolous purchase I had made since moving here, and smiled. It was shaped like a little junimo, one of the bright green ones. Brightly colored leaves fell outside my kitchen window before getting caught on a breeze and drifting out of sight. A fresh hunk of wood stood in the corner of my living room waiting for me to release the sculpture within. I filled in the word 'Kel', folded the paper back up and tidied up the kitchen as a sense of peace fell over me.
I was safe.