Disclaimer: I own a The Eras Tour popcorn bucket to store my friendship bracelets but I don't own Castle (sorry for the TS spam but I can't help it).
Happy Friday! I hope all of you had a great week. We've reached Chapter 18 and as it looks right now there are about 10 to 12 chapters left. Eight of them are already written, the last few I will hopefully be able to finish in the next 2 weeks. But I'll stick to weekly uploads so I get time to start another story. My head is full of ideas because guys, I'm officially rewatching! It's like the 7th time I think but the first time I watch it with the original sound and not the German synchronisation. And I love it! It's like rediscovering the whole show in a completely new way. Crazy how a show that started almost 15 years ago still gets me again and again.
But I'm sure you all know what I mean, otherwise, you wouldn't be here reading this.
So, I gotta go S2E2 is waiting for me. Enjoy the chapter!
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After Alexis had ignored Castle's attempts to call her for about two hours, he had finally gotten a text from her, saying she was staying with her friend Anna for a few days. He had asked her if she wanted to talk to him, just like they always did, but she didn't reply. Kate felt at a loss for what to do or how to comfort him. And she also felt very sorry for Alexis and in a way also guilty for the whole situation. She was past the point of regretting she got pregnant, no, by now she was happy about it. But she could understand how hard it had to be for Alexis. And even though the two of them had a good relationship, Alexis's words hadn't been untrue. She was Castle's new girlfriend, no matter their complicated backstory. And for every teenager, it had to be hard to face their father starting over in a new relationship, even for a very grown-up one like Alexis. And that they were adding a baby to it after just a couple of weeks was even more difficult to handle.
Kate watched Castle wandering up and down the living room, still weighing his cell phone in his hands as if he was hoping she would call him, text him, anything. But she wouldn't and Kate knew that. Sighing she walked over to him and rested her palm on his arm. He stopped his feet from moving and looked at her, his eyes dark with worry. "She'll come back." Kate softly said. "She'll take a few days to process all of this and then she'll come back, and everything will be all right." She tried to give him a reassuring smile as she noticed how ironic this situation was. For weeks he had been the one reassuring her everything would be fine concerning the baby and now she had to comfort him over the troubles he had with his other child. It dawned on her that parenting could be a lot harder than she maybe thought it would be.
He touched her hand and grimaced his face into something that failed to look like a smile. "I just wish I could talk to her." He mumbled. "I know," Kate whispered in response and pulled him into her arms to hug him tightly. He allowed the comforting warmth of her touch to ease his troubled mind at least a little bit. He didn't know his daughter like that. She was always such a deliberate, calm character. And now the one thing that made him happy the most seemed to be the worst thing that could be happening to her. He questioned whether he might have failed as a father, giving her the feeling, that she was replaced or not cared about.
As if she could read his mind Kate mumbled "You did nothing wrong." against his chest. He didn't answer, just let out a deep breath and pressed an absentminded kiss to her head. In that moment the front door cracked open and in a sudden flash of hope Castle pulled away from Kate and looked over to the door. But it was the wrong redhead who slid inside the loft with a wide smile drawn on her lips as she let the door fall close behind her.
"Well, that was worth it! The contract is signed!" Martha declared happily as she spotted Kate, but her smile faded as she looked at the two gloomy faces in front of her. "What is wrong? Why the long faces?" Castle let himself fall onto the couch, suddenly feeling very exhausted by all the emotions troubling his mind. "Alexis." He sighed without looking at his mother. Martha clutched her hand to her chest accompanied by a scared little sound. "Oh God, is she all right? Did something happen?"
Looking from Castle's dark shadowed face over to Martha Kate took his place of explaining what happened. "No, no, she's fine. She just didn't take the news very well." Martha sighed in relief and let her hand sink. Placing her purse on the little table next to the door, she walked over to her son and took a seat beside him. "Tell me what happened." She said, looking at Kate since she could see her son wasn't in the state to explain the situation to her. Kate did how she was asked and gave the older woman a recap of the events that afternoon.
Martha listened calmly and when Kate finished she sighed and looked back over at Castle. "Oh Richard," she mumbled. "I am so very sorry. I know you were looking forward to telling Alexis." She softly rubbed her hand over her son's back but didn't get much of a reaction from him. "You know, I'm sure all of this will resolve all too soon and we can forget about it. I'll bet you she'll be more than happy to be a sister when she had a little time to adjust." She looked up at Kate with a hint of insecurity on her face. "I must admit, I didn't expect something like this to happen either. But I guess Katherine is right, it might be a little bit overwhelming for Alexis with so many changes happening all at once." She paused for a few moments. "Richard, do you want me to try to talk to her?"
Coming out of his freeze Castle slowly shook his head. "No, Mother, thank you." He answered in a hoarse voice and looked up to Kate, who instantly reached out her hand, which he took in his. "You're right, both of you. We'll need to give her some time and when she's ready to talk, she'll come to us." Both women nodded their heads in agreement. And looking at each other all three of them tried to convince themselves that they were convinced by what he said.
But as the following days went by, there was still no sign of Alexis wanting to reach out to them. On Monday Kate and Castle returned to work and Castle tried his best to hide his mood from the team but failed. When Esposito asked him what fed him up like that, he got a muttered response to keep his nose out of other people's issues. Esposito was taken aback by that harsh response, but Kate stepped up and told him something about troubles with his publisher and that he should just leave him be. It was hard for her to see him like this, and it even let her forget the fact that his behavior drew more attention to him or them than she liked. But she knew when it came to Alexis there was no point for him in trying to hide his feelings. And she was full of sympathy for everything he felt.
Every evening he stared at his phone and Kate could tell he was debating with himself whether he should call her. But every evening he decided against it and went to bed, looking a little sadder than the day before. Kate just prayed all of this would end soon. Yes, she could understand how Alexis was feeling. And she was fine with the fact she might be angry at them, maybe especially her. But this silent treatment she was giving her father wasn't something she could understand. And when Friday came and they still hadn't heard anything from her besides a short text message that she was staying with her friend for another few days, she considered reaching out to Alexis herself.
But thinking about it she found that she wasn't in the place for that. She wasn't her mother and even though they had grown close over the past few weeks, she wasn't sure that bond still existed. She hoped it did because she sincerely liked the young woman and meant what she had said to Castle after Alexis had left: Alexis was and would always be a part of the family that was now also hers. And she didn't want to miss her. Or even worse feel responsible for estranging father and daughter. That was a burden she didn't want to carry or lay on the baby growing in her belly. At the end of the day, she packed up her things to go home and sighed.
No, she wouldn't reach out to Alexis. At least not just yet. She didn't want to risk pushing her away even more by putting her under pressure to talk to her father. But she sorely hoped Alexis would put an end to all of this by herself soon. When she entered the elevator to get home to Castle who had left earlier to sign some papers at his publisher's office, she was grateful she would get some distraction this evening. It was Lanie's birthday and her friend had invited her over for wine and dinner. "Well, for you only dinner." Lanie had laughed on the phone when she'd called her. And though she felt bad leaving Castle alone, Kate was looking forward to spending some time with Lanie and being able to escape the glum mood that was surrounding her at the loft.
After arriving and the loft and opening the door with the key Castle had pushed her into taking, she found he hadn't returned yet. Calling a soft "Hello?" into the living room and not getting any response she figured she was alone. Martha seemed to be gone too and the hope that Alexis might have come home shattered again, like every time one of them had returned to the loft over the last week.
Kate sighed and went to the shower and to get dressed. When she was ready to go there was still no one else there, so she locked the door behind her as she left. As she reached Lanie's apartment she decided to shrug off all the concerns and negative feelings that had been her companion over the last few days for at least a couple of hours. Today was Lanie's day and she didn't want to ruin it for her. And seeing that she didn't manage to spend that much time with her at the moment, she told herself she should treasure the time she got with her friend.
Pushing the bell next to Lanie's name the door opener whirred shortly after and with pushing the old wooden door open, Kate let herself inside. As she walked up the staircase to the first floor she could already see Lanie peaking her head through the door of her apartment and Kate couldn't help but smile and the sight. She missed spending time with Lanie. With her, everything always seemed easy and somehow funny. She needed that tonight.
"Oh, it's so good to see you!" Lanie exclaimed as she pulled Kate into a tight hug, which the taller woman returned full-heartedly. "You too!" She smiled and squeezed her friend a little tighter. "Well, what is that?" Lanie asked and pushed Kate away at arm's length, glancing down to her stomach where the little bump Lanie had just felt was well hidden under another wide satin blouse. Kate blushed slightly as Lanie grinned at her. "How far along are you now? Twelve weeks?" Kate nodded. "Yes, tomorrow it's twelve weeks." Lanie shook her head and once again looked down at Kate's stomach and then back up to her. "Crazy." She mumbled, still grinning.
"Come in!" Lanie added and waved her hand for Kate to walk past her into the apartment. Closing the door behind her she asked, "And how are you feeling?" Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Good, I guess." Lanie furrowed her brow. "You guess?" Kate smiled in a try to convince her everything was fine. "Yeah, just still a lot going on. But today isn't about me. Happy birthday." Lanie waved off Kate's try to draw the attention away from herself with a quick gesture of her hand.
"Yeah, yeah, thank you. But there's nothing interesting going on in my life. So, tell me, what do you mean?" Kate sighed. There was no chance Lanie would let this rest. "What do you say, we get something to eat, and I'll tell you everything?" Lanie seemed to like the idea and guided Kate to her dining table where everything was already set for them to eat. "Wow Lanie, that looks great!" Kate said sincerely as she looked at the food. "Good thing the nauseous phase seems to be over." She thought to herself as she took a seat.
Lanie did the same and as she placed some pasta on Kate's plate she looked over at her friend, an eager expression written on her face. Taking the plate from her Kate started to talk. She told her friend about everything that had happened with Castle's family. How Martha had found out about her pregnancy and was more than happy and how it was just the opposite with Alexis. Lanie listened as she ate her food, here and there nodding to show Kate she could still follow the complex explanations of how she was feeling and what all this mess did to her and Castle. As she came to an end Kate thought her plan for an evening with some distraction had failed in every possible way. Instead, she felt even more worried now that she had verbalized all of her feelings and concerns to her friend.
Lanie gave her a sympathetic smile. "Oh sweetie" she sighed "What have you gotten yourself into there?" Kate couldn't help but laugh a little. "Well, I have no idea." She chuckled. "When we found out about the baby I was so scared. I couldn't think straight for weeks. I mean, you saw me shortly before I had my second appointment, you can tell I was struggling." Lanie nodded as she remembered how upset her friend had been on that day at the morgue. "And after that appointment, I could finally get over that. It's still complicated and somehow frightening. But I was happy. For nearly two weeks I was just happy, we both were." She longingly thought back to the days before Alexis returned from her trip to Michigan.
"And now, it's all chaos and worry again." She sighed. "I really don't blame Alexis for anything! I understand this is a hard pill to swallow. But it's been a week now. I think she could slowly come out of her cave and at least talk to Castle if not to me." Lanie nodded and Kate could see she was thinking about what she had just said. "Maybe it's hard for her to take the first step. Like she would be admitting she overreacted." Kate shook her head. "I don't think she overreacted, neither does Castle. We just want her to come home so we can talk things through." She placed her hand on the little bump on her stomach. "This baby is coming, and it will change everything. I needed some time to accept that myself, so I can tell it must be hard for her. But she can't run away from her father, her family… I had to learn that too." Kate could tell her friend could hear the frustration in her voice.
"I know what you mean." She started and then leaned a little closer to Kate. "And what does all of this do to you and Castle?" Kate considered the question and shrugged her shoulders. "I try to be there for him, but I don't exactly know what to do. He's sad and absentminded. It's just a very difficult situation." Lanie hesitated for a second. "But you can manage it together? It's not like you have to worry he could... you know… put Alexis's feelings before the responsibility he has for you and that kid?" She nodded towards Kate's hand still resting on her belly.
Kate's eyes grew wide as she looked back at Lanie. She hadn't even thought about that, not for a second. "No, Lanie, of course not. He would never do that." She said and was fully convinced of her own words. Lanie nodded and seemed to be relieved. "That's good. I just wanted to make sure I won't have to worry about you and my future godchild." Kate let out a little laugh. "Godchild, you say? Does that mean you'll take over some of the sleepless nights ahead of me?" Lanie grinned.
"If it's a girl I'll agree to spend some sleepless nights at the club with her when she's eighteen." Kate chuckled. "Well, thanks for that. And what if it's a boy?" Lanie frowned. "Nah, I won't consider this option until it's necessary." Kate smiled at her friend. "Well, no matter if boy or girl, I'd be more than happy to have you as godmother for my child." A wide grin spread over Lanie's face. "You know, that's the best birthday present I ever got!"
Kate smiled and felt tears picking at the back of her eyes. Damn hormones. "And when will I be able to tell everyone about my future godchild?" Lanie asked and lifted her glass of wine to her lips. Pulled out of her emotional daze so suddenly Kate needed a few seconds to process that question. "Uhm, that will take a little more time. We still want to keep it a secret until my probation period is over." Lanie raised an eyebrow at her. "And that's when? Four more weeks if I remember it right?" Kate just nodded slightly.
Lanie let her gaze wander down on Kate's body with a questioning look. "Well, you better not hug anybody the next few weeks. Because you can wear tents like that all the way you want, I felt that bump very clearly." Looking down on her belly Kate slightly blushed again and mumbled "I won't." Looking back up at Lanie she added "But I still think it's best to wait until then." Lanie nodded but Kate was able to read the doubt written on her face.
"And what do you plan to do once these four weeks have passed? Just walk into Captain Gates's office and tell her you've been lying to her for months?" Kate's heart sank at Lanie said it so blatantly. "I don't know." She admitted. "But when I tell her then I'm at least not on probation anymore. If I told her now she could just kick me out and I have no doubt she would." Lanie poured herself some more wine and Kate thought she could need a few glasses of wine herself. All the trouble surrounding Alexis had pushed back her worry about her job and Captain Gates. But now both problems were painfully present in her mind.
"As I said," Lanie stated and put the bottle back down on the table. "You've gotten yourself into quite a mess there." She gave Kate a sympathetic smile. "But I am sure it will all resolve and one year from now we'll look back and laugh about these problems." She put up her glass and pointed it towards Kate. "And you'll be able to have a glass of wine again while I get to snuggle my goddaughter." Kate smiled back at her and decided Lanie was right. That was what this pregnancy had already taught her: Even if it seemed unmanageable, with a little time there was a solution to everything. And for now, she would not let her mind focus on her worries and instead enjoy some time with her friend. She lifted her glass of water and nudged it against Lanie's. "Or godson." She grinned as Lanie took a big sip of wine as if she needed to wash away the idea of the baby being a boy.