"I've never liked Hamlet".
Klaus appears, and I open my eyes wide. I tremble even more as I realize he had been there all along, likely hiding to overhear my conversation with Pogo about the notebook.
"Oh my god, Klaus...", I say, as the mere sight of him walking to me brings tears to my eyes. Somehow, I'm relieved if he heard, because I would not have been able to explain everything to him.
Crouching near my disheveled state, his gaze conveys that what I feel is merely a condensed version of what he has endured throughout his life. He's just sorry that I got hit in the face today too, and he's somewhat powerless. My hands try desperately to grab his forearms. I'm totally lost, feeling nauseous and dizzy, and my eyes are filled with unexpressed tears.
"Did you... did you hear it all..."
He sighs. I have rarely seen his face so dull and serious.
"What I heard, I wish I hadn't".
"I... I wasn't free", I say, "like all of you... I was merely a part of..."
'Part of Reginald Hargreeves' plans' would have been the end of this statment, but I can't even finish this sentence. And anyway, Klaus heard Pogo's words.
"He's dead, Rin".
This statement hits with unyielding force, like a blow to a stone. However, I can't discern if Klaus is stating a fact or expressing a wish.
"He is, but... Pogo said that his plans are self-working now. What does he have planned for me, for you, for your siblings? For... all of us?"
For the first time, I refer to myself as part of them, and Klaus notices, but he only blinks once.
"Rin", he says to me, letting me crush his arm, "If we can change what he has planned, then great. And if we can't, then we might as well go with the flow".
I breathe ironically. I think Klaus understands Hamlet very well, even if he doesn't like it. It's too much for me, and my brain just wants to escape now.
"I want to go back to my room", I say, shaking.
And this will is so strong, like an urge, that I feel capable of doing something Five suggested I could do: teleporting and taking someone with me. Yeah, I can do it. And I need to leave this damn gallery, now. Suddenly, I tighten my grip on Klaus's forearms, and *Crack!* In a flash of blue light, I teleport us to the room that Diego lent me, then drop into a sitting position on the bed. I don't even see Klaus's astonishment at this jump across the Mansion. I simply put my hands over my eyes, almost as if to refocus on myself.
"It's okay Rin", he tells me, but I don't know if it is.
Even if it made him suffer all his life, Klaus is accustomed to the idea of being nothing more than a pawn in his father's plans. I force myself to contemplate his calmness, his resilience, and remind myself that things haven't changed since this morning. I just know a little more now. I...
"You and me... did we really meet by chance?", I ask him, feeling my tears returning. "Or did we meet because he had planned it as well?"
Klaus stands there in front of me, motionless, looking down at me.
"We don't give a shit if he had planned it", he says quietly, as he always does when he's still high but not quite enough anymore.
"Our long evenings, our laughter, our bullshit... none of it was planned by anyone. If my father has been useful for at least that in my life, then I take it".
He's so serious now. I slowly remove my fingers from my eyes. I understand that he's right, definitely right. But it makes me cry for real, this time. He can see the state this is putting me in, and he holds out his 'Hello' hand to me, which I take weakly.
"Do you think he planned for us to meet at the cops? I would end up bribing the officer to get your address? We would go visit the entire sewer system? You would steal bucks for our pizzas? You wouldn't... be sick of me even after 10 years?"
He stops, then adds :
"Do you think he had also planned the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Damn, it would have raised my esteem for him so much. But no: he had not".
Klaus is right, and I wipe away my tears with with my free hand as I nod. He gives me a few moments to process everything before speaking again.
"I don't know about his plans, but it's amazing how, even in death, he continues to cause harm".
Before, I understood Klaus's feelings through empathy. But now, it's different. Since Reginald Hargreeves' death, everything has accelerated, and every day I feel a little less like an outsider. And now I feel this fucking 'fate' in my flesh as well.
"I... We're truly in this together, it seems," I manage to say. "Wherever that leads".
My voice is serious, but suddenly I'm calm. Resigned, perhaps, or rather determined not to let events break me any longer. Klaus nods.
"Yeah", he says, "we're all stuck with each other now, your clothes for a week won't be enough".
I laugh through my last tears, and I'm grateful to Klaus for that. I'm going to want to puke for a while, but I'll process the information. Yeah, I'll be okay. I nod, and I squeeze his hand a little before telling him:
"After all, what was I hoping for? That my power had nothing to do with yours? That there was no connection between our births, somehow? That all of this didn't have a greater reason deep down? I blame myself for being naive".
Klaus leans towards me.
"I know you'll say no, but a good whiskey or a little joint would help, uh ?"
This is definitely his go-to suggestion for dealing with any type of stress or emotional upheaval. But he says that as a joke, because he knows I don't touch that. I laugh with him, as much as I can, and he adds, in a sincere but somewhat desperate attempt to cheer me up:
"Or... there are some waffles left... Uh, ~Marine~ ?"
His voice insists on this name that he just heard from Pogo, a name he hadn't known until today. I stare at him and my eyes narrow.
"It's Rin, for you, ~Number Four~".
I smile and shake my head, as he laughs softly. I know his offer of waffles is more sincere than the offer of drugs. And that he really wants to help me through this, just as I did for him so many times.
"I can't..." I say with a sigh, "I was just stopping by to talk to Pogo... I have to go see if everything is okay with my grandmother this evening. She has been alone for four days now. I need to restock her fridge, empty the mailbox, check the bills... and spend some time with her as well."
She was a bit angry on the phone earlier. Life goes on, and having to take care of Granny tonight brings me back to the reality of everyday life, which helps me feel a little better. Yeah, life goes on. With or without Reginald Hargreeves' plans, Klaus was right. And I try not to think about the possibility of an apocalypse that would wipe it all out. The vortex is fading away now. I breathe.
Nevertheless, it's the first night I will spend away from this mansion since I arrived, and I feel a bit guilty about it. Klaus nods with a hint of disappointment, yet he understands why I need to go. I let go of his hand and refocus. On my purpose for being here, as well.
"Will you be alright?" I ask, and he replies with an exaggerated shrug:
"Oh, of course I'll be fine. I may go out tonight to drown all of this in whiskey and classic rock. But first, I'll take a bath. Yeah, a good bath. I'll survive".
He lets out a short chuckle. I stand up and say:
"I'll be back tomorrow morning".
"Alright".
I'm not stupid. I can sense his fear that all the weight of this week will come crashing down on him as soon as he's alone. I can't guarantee it won't happen to me as well, but I want to assure him that I have confidence in his ability to cope.
"You'll do great. Take your headphones with you. If you start feeling down or seing stuff, just put on your music and turn up the volume, okay?" "You have my word," he says. "I won't be alone. Allison is in the attic; she's been chain-smoking today. And I still have... basic necessities".
I don't comment on this. I know that, right now, Klaus doesn't have a large supply of drugs: only some weed, a few tablets, and a 'special chocolate'. Actually, it's far less potent than anything he has recently taken.
"I can't guarantee I won't take any this time," he says. "I can feel it creeping up on me. But I've been through worse."
I don't blame him, but I didn't help make the early evening pleasant.
"Music, Klaus, music", I repeat, taking my backpack to leave. "Take your headphones wherever you go, even near the bath tub, okay?"
He shows me he has them around his neck.
"What's in your reader?".
I check.
"Oh, The Hollies".
"Yeah, and Nina Simone".
"Perfect. What scent are the bath salts like?"
"Lavender".
"Nice".
However, Klaus sees right through my attempt to appear lighthearted.
"And you", he asks, "will you be okay?"
I nod, maybe too long.
"I will".
I smile, but my stomach is still in knots. Really, I'm not in the mood to watch the vietnamese channels with Granny all evening. But self-pity is not my style. For the first time, I can feel that Klaus is more worried for me than I am for him. That's something new. I approach the door: in the corridor, the light is already on. Outside, it is already pitch black.
"Take care, Rin, see you tomorrow", he says, and I give him a fragile smile, litteraly waving me "Goodbye".
"Enjoy your bath", I say. "And remember..."
I take a step into the corridor.
"The Hollies".
Notes :
Remember Reginald Hargreeves' favorite quote from Hamlet? "There's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow..." It expresses the idea of destiny, a bit like a butterfly effect: events as insignificant as the death of a sparrow can trigger greater consequences. Rin only wishes the best for Klaus, telling him to turn his music up loud. But we all know what consequences this advice will have... They don't know it, but he's 'litteraly waving Rin Goodbye' for ten months.
Chronological markers: this scene fits like a deleted scene from season 1 episode 3, somewhere between 30:18 and 37:13 (just after the previous chapter with Pogo, and before Klaus's bath).
Any comment will make my day!