I do not own DxD or RWBY
-xXx-
"Dear, turn on the lights."
"Now, I think it's too early?"
"Early?"
"Dear, there ain't no sun yet."
"But I am wide awake."
"Okay, how about you turn on the lights."
"...my lampstand is not here."
"...what?"
"ITS NOT HERE!"
"FINE FINE FINE!" Old Nicholas Arc grumpily got off from his bed and he walked to the wall. Then, he walked and walked, and walked.
"What the fuck."
"Why the hell are you still standing here."
"I AM NOT! I WAS WALKING!"
"STOP BULLSHITING MY OLD MAN."
"I AM NOT!"
Nicholas suddenly began to get alert, and went to his battlestance; even if he is very old now, he is ready to defend his lady wife to the bitter end!
"Wait." Juniper Arc soon got up from bed as she realized something. Or remembered something, "NICHOLAS!" she suddenly cried and jumped to her husband with a hug.
"Wh-what?! Dear! you are too old to bear another on-"
"FUCK YOU! YOU DIED!" Juniper yelled as she held the man she never felt for a decade, "You left me."
Suddenly, Nicholas realized what is happening, "Oh brothers... we are head."
The old couple held each other in a bittersweet reunion.
-xXx-
"You know... I believed the afterlife to be more...beautiful. Not all dark and all."
"Really... what is your ideal afterlife."
"Joy, love. Paradise. No hate. No negative emotional at allllllll..."
"Mhmmm..."
"Just..." Juniper then remembered when her children were very young, "A garden and playground where our kids will forever be happy."
"A land for children then?" Nicholas chuckled, "I do not think adults will enjoy that."
"Then I declare that in my afterlife, that only children can enter it!"
"Sure."
"...still, all of this darkness sucks."
"Dear, I will do everything for you. But it is not like your complaining can do anything. I can't do anything about."
"Have you tried?"
"C'mom."
"Hehehehehehe." the old lady cuddled the old man.
Nicholas sighed, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"
SHINE!
""AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""
-xXx-
"I told you it was a bad idea."
"Listen, Jaune didn't come back through Lucifer, or Azazel, or Barakiel or..."
"So... you decided to try to reincarnate Weiss here? You think our son can come back if is wife does?"
"...yeah."
"Nick..."
"Hey! Atleast Lilith is just another brat, and Adam..." Nicholas cringed, "Thank god Adam didn't turn into...Adam."
"The terrorist?"
"Yeah..."
"Well... I do not think our Adam is like that creep; if he was, then he would have followed Lilith too. All of Remnant knows that boy was a simp."
"...True." Nicholas nodded, "Let's hope our new boy won't follow a woman foolishly."
-xXx-
"I AM BETTER THAN YOU FATHER!" Lucifer yelled as he brought his army, "I am more beautiful than you!"
Nicholas looked in shock just as he was about to eat his wife's cooked eggs, as said wife dropped her pan.
All of the Archangel sisters winced knowing where this was going.
Nicholas Arc grabbed his belt and whipped it at the table, "C'HERE, PRETTY BOY!"
"Dad! Let me handle this!" Saphron, with her speed, stopped her father knowing that this would turn bad, considering that his belt could wipe out solar systems.
Suddenly, the Angel of Protection and Temporary Prince of the Heavenly Host, suddenly gained a dark look.
"Brother~"
Azazel and his crew cringed at the "battle", as they solely focused on their mother's bacon and eggs.
"Barakiel, you are so thin... here have some more."
"Mommmmm!"
-xXx-
"I honestly think that favoritism goes both ways with a parent and child relationship."
"...what makes you say that?"
"The humans only talk to you!" Juniper wined, "Father this. Father that. Oh Father!"
"...Juniper."
"At least Hera is equally worshipped."
"...you don't want to be like Hera."
"...you right. I don't" Juniper cringed at that shipwreck of a relationship, "and Greeks pride their logic."
-xXx-
One day, both parents saw all of their male 12-winged angels fall due to their lust.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Nicholas, remember the rule."
"...but...c'mon, if it was Jaune, and we know he does have a libido, you will welcome him back!"
"Absolutely not! The moment our boys and girls get knocked up, we will not shelter the girl or their kid. They should take responsibility."
"We are not an ordinary family..."
"...and they are adults too." Juniper gave a deadpanned look, "Those boys were way older than us when we died. It is time to kick them out of the house!"
"Even said the house is the size of 7 earths."
-xXx-
"Dear, that weird kid is by the door again!"
Nicholas sighed as he dropped his newspaper and coffee. He teleported at the edge of Heaven, and sighed on who was there.
"I am not the type to say, 'get out of my lawn', but Ophis, please respect our property."
A small child looked at him with dead eyes, before laying down on the grass.
"...Ophis."
"Great Red is in my territory."
"Don't you guys share that place?"
"...no."
Nicholas sighed, before going back to his wife, "It is handled dear."
"She is still there."
"...I really don't want to deal with her."
"Fine... let me try." Juniper sighed before grabbing a jar of her baked cookies.
-xXx-
Saphron cried as she touched the coffin of her parents. All of her sisters wailed too as their battle armor was soaked with blood.
"Mom...Dad. At least you can go together now unlike last time."
On that day, Heaven lost much of its splendor as the owners of the house passed away. Angels cried in tears...crying mama and papa knowing that they were gone.
No more breakfast.
No more baseball.
No more fishing.
That day, without the military experience of their dad, the sisters decided to retreat back to Heaven. Even though the devils are as cruel and evil as Salem and the Grimm, all of them acknowledge that they need either Dad or Jaune to lead them efficiently.
-xXx-
"I who stole the concept of Domination from GOD!" The Red Dragon Emperor chanted as Hazel raised an eyebrow.
"Dad never was the dominant type; that was Mom," she said before she summoned her Holy Water and drowned that dragon.
-xXx-
"HEY! I THINK I FOUND JAUNE!"
All of the sister teleported to France and was shocked to see a burning girl.
"That is not Jaune."
"Too bad we are too late to save her, she did much for this country."
"She even has the military intelligence of bro."
"Then we shall declare her a saint!"
-xXx-
"HEY GUYS, I THINK I FOUND JAUNE!"
"Where?!"
"He is in the Vatican with a girl names Jeanne d'Arc..."
All of the sister gave a flat look, "I think that is another false alarm!"
"But what if it's him!"
"THE VATICAN ALWAYS SAYS IT IS HIM EVERYTHING A BLONDE GIRL RECEIVES BLADESMITH!"
"Well... if you say so."
-xXx-
"HEY! I THINK I FOUND JAUNE!"
"Not again!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO Look!" then Lavendar showed a video of Jaune Arc slamming his fist into Kokabiel's face.
"JAUNE!"
Author's notes
...yeah.