For whole four months, I thought I had gone crazy. Hours and hours of wondering if the Cullens even existed. Before falling asleep, I would trace the crescent-shaped scar on my wrist to remind myself I wasn't imagining them. That I wasn't imagining Edward and I loved such a beautiful, haunting creature. They were real. There were traces of their presence that still lingered. I imagined Edward still climbing in my bedroom window, the weight of him sinking into the mattress as I slept. I often dreamt of Carlisle's study and his books and his accompanying gentle smile. I imagined Alice's laugh across the cafeteria often; I even missed Rosalie's glare. I was guilty, too, of having Jasper react like that. For I had crumbled the control he'd been slowly building up for years by a mere paper cut.

And then I realized, I wasn't really crazy. Uncoordinated, danger-magnet, sure. But I wasn't insane. But somehow, all the weird, odd shit seemed to land on me. It wasn't like I was trying and yet here I was, ex-girlfriend to a century old vampire, almost turned to one, and a sitter-of-sorts to a half-mortal child fathered by Carlisle Cullen.

I had no idea how to explain to Charlie where the child came from. And when Jessica arrived to take me to the movies, I panicked and told her that I was babysitting tonight. She understood as she had younger brothers of her own and said she wouldn't mind going with me on another night. I held Theodore close to my chest, appreciating his baby scent and warmth. I had never cared for a baby before. I remember holding one and wincing as I thought of how fragile they were. He was about seven or eight months old, give or take and a rather plump baby.

Theodore Laurence S. Cullen, Carlisle's journal said. I felt myself smile widely. I checked the bag Carlisle left. There were baby formulas (I was relieved; the thought of hunting little animals for baby food terrified me - and I laughed out loud about how ridiculous the thought was), wads of cash, and Theo's clothes and toys. The thick journal recorded his development and I choked on my own spit as I read Carlisle's writing about his son's age.

Apparently, Theo was only three weeks old.

Half-vampires had faster growth stages than human children. Carlisle calculated that by the child's first month, Theo would be one-year old. I closed the journal quickly, feeling overwhelmed as I raked my hands through my hair. Beside me, Theo played with the blue dinosaur he grabbed from the bag, making small noises and occasionally looking at me cheekily.

He was familiar with me, I realized. I wasn't a stranger to him. He wasn't upset when his father left. But again, Carlisle mentioned his mate knew me. Was I close to the Cullens in the future? I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly. That would mean I would see Edward again.

I would see Edward again.

I would see the Cullens again.

The thought made me incandescently happy. I was already happy to see Carlisle — nevermind he wasn't the Carlisle of my time — but to know I was with him ... them, it made me hopeful.

The main problem remained however, like a pendulum swinging to remind me I wasn't due yet for some celebration. I still had little idea how to tell Charlie this. I was not about to tell my dad that Theodore was the son of my ex-boyfriend's father and I was chosen to be his keeper.

While I let Theo wrestle with his dinosaur, I flipped the pages of the journal. Most of the pages were still blank but Carlisle, with his doctor's script, had written about fifteen pages of his son's development already. I suppose, I thought with a wince, I was expected to record it too. I pushed the regret down. I accepted Carlisle's request; I was determined to go through it.

I marveled still upon the mistery of Theo's birth. I knew an adequate amount of vampire knowledge that allowed me to know that vampires were sterile. It wouldn't make sense for an immortal race to conceive more immortals. Carlisle had the sentiment that it was the reason why they were Damned; that God has forsaken them and procreation was a blessed thing and they were unholy. That's why, I suppose, there were Sires to begin with.

Carlisle seemed to be very fond — in love with this woman he called his mate. I felt myself flush as I thought of the adoring glaze he took on as he told me about her. She must be something to be adored by Carlisle Cullen. A pang of bitter envy clawed at my chest. Mate to Carlisle Cullen and mother to his son. Damn lucky woman. She had it all while I couldn't convince Edward to stay.

I haven't even met this woman and I already resented her.

Did Carlisle fear for her safety too? The same way Edward feared for mine? His selfish abandonment. He even turned his mate, she was a vampire now. She had what I wanted with Edward. I burned with envy and I didn't even know her. I knew I had no right and ... yet I find the idea of a human other than me in the future close to the Cullens upsetting. Close to the point that Carlisle would find his mate in her and marry her. They shared a child. Esme must approved of her if she and Carlisle were still friends.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt my shirt getting pulled. I looked down to see Theo raising his arms and bouncing on his seat. I knew when a child was asking for "uppies". Smiling gently, I carried him, securing an arm under his bottom. He was warm and soft and smelled so nice.

I was holding a piece of Carlisle in this child.

I brushed my hand through his soft baby hair, smiling wistfully as I swayed on my feet. He had his father's blond hair, albeit a shade darker and chocolate brown eyes that beamed at me contentedly. Leave it to Carlisle to sire adorable children. Theo was pale, though not as pale as the natural vampires. There was a pink flush in his cheeks that showed there was blood pumping in his veins and arteries; his heart was alive. I could feel his heartbeat that was faster than mine.

Distantly, I asked myself if I could have this ... beautiful thing with Edward.

I never desired to marry, or have children. Especially, when I had been with him. I forfeited it the moment I realized I love Edward. Perhaps, Carlisle was simply lucky.

"Bells?"

Oh God. Dad.

Snow in the mountains of the Denalis were always thick and heavy in the month of February. That also meant that hunting could be quite difficult because of hibernation. No mountain lions, much to Emmett's disappointment but we enjoyed the mountain bisons, elks and mountain goats. Once my seventy-hour shift ended, I headed up to the mountain to hunt alone. I was ravenous when I took down my first elk in three days, draining it as soon as I latched onto it.

It had been four months since we left Forks — since we left Bella. I still felt we made an awful decision but I respected my son's intention. Bella was a beautiful young woman; she brought life to our little coven. Though a little unsure and sometimes, a little too accident-prone, she reminded each of us our own humanity.

Her presence in our home was comforting. In the times I find myself alone, I think of Isabella Swan curled up in a bean bag in my office while she read Jane Eyre. We shared interests in classic books and she had her personal fascination with Shakespeare's works; particularly with Romeo Juliet.

Star-crossed lovers, I thought as I buried my second elk.

I whipped my head to the right as I sensed movement from the trees. I inhaled deeply, my pupils blown and dark upon taking in the scent of something new, something familiar. Fresh, spring roses. It was different from the smell of bastardized roses of today. I rose from crouching and roved my eyes around the area.

In a span of less than a second, I had the vampire hiding from me pinned down on the ground. She didn't struggle and I was frozen as I looked upon the beautiful face of Bella Swan. Her eyes were crimson, clearly in her newborn stage and ... and she was — I could not look away. I was struck by her beauty.

So struck it took me seconds to realize that there was something wrong. And Bella Swan was a human girl in Forks.

"Bella, who did this to you?" I asked, my tone full of barely concealed anger.

"Carlisle." She said to me softly, her voice melodious. "Calm down." Her red eyes, which used to be the loveliest shade of chocolate brown, looked at me in gentle reverence and admiration, I could have cried.

"Who did this to you?" I repeated, almost pleadingly.

"Never mind who did this to me." She replied gently, effortlessly breaking my hold of her as she rose to her feet.

"We never should have left. We failed you, Isabella."

Bella's eyes seemed to twinkle. She cupped my face tenderly. I looked at her, my vampiric eyes registering her now immortalized features. And again, I was struck with the differences. Bella was somehow taller now, reaching past my shoulders. Her cheekbones were sharper, her facial features much more mature than I remembered.

My surprise and realization must have shown on my face as Bella smiled. I bit back a gasp at the sheer loveliness of it. She giggled, brushing a finger on my cheek. "You look at me the same way my Carlisle does."

"Your Carlisle?"

"My mate." Bella said brightly. "My love. My eternity. My husband." She reached up to kiss me and I was too shocked to move. The pull that I had been denying myself for so long finally snapped. I kissed her back with wild abandon, relishing the scent of roses. I wrenched myself from her as I remembered who I was and how I've already wronged Esme.

"I'm sorry." Bella touched my jaw. "I'm sure Carlisle would forgive me for kissing his self from five years ago."

"Five years ago?" I asked.

"Five years into the future? From now?" Bella replied, a little confused as well. "Whichever is it, I wasn't planning on any kissing but you were too handsome to resist. I am only here to deliver some news."

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water.

I looked at Bella with uncertainty. The mere sight of her made me lose all coherent thought and sense, I forgot to ask what she was doing here in the first place.

"I am your Mate, Carlisle." Bella took my hand and interspersed it with hers. "As you are mine."

I asked huskily, "is that the news?"

She shook her head and sighed. "I wished it was. The news I bring is grave." I looked upon her eyes filled with venom. No tears fell and my undead heart was shattering. "The Volturi is coming to kill our coven."

I absorbed her words. They made little sense but somehow, I acknowledged that the woman in front of me was not the human girl we left in Forks. Though confusion clouded my mind, I lifted her chin. "Bella, what do you mean?"

"I have a lot to explain to you."

I regarded her patiently. "I shall listen. You have no idea how much you've surprised me with your presence and words today."

She patted my cheek. "I'm here on borrowed time. I will have to explain it to you quickly."

"I- very well."

Bella went straight for the jugular. "We have a son in the future. I was still human when we conceived him." She ignored my look of shock as she continued. Her eyes were bright with adoration. "He is unlike the immortal children you told me about. Our son grows, Carlisle. As delightful as that sounds, it is also a terrifying thought. He grows very fast."

If I could breath, I was sure all the air would have escaped from my lungs. "A-A son."

She nodded encouragingly.

"Where is," I felt myself choked up as I said the words. "our son, Bella?"

"With you. I told Carlisle to take him to Bella from five years ago. I — she was our safest option. One of our Denali cousins saw Theodore once and she reported him to the Volturi." Bella's face contorted in anger and anguish. "She had mistaken him for an immortal child — a thoughtless killing machine who could destroy and drain villages. Our son feeds on baby formula, Carlisle! He doesn't even know to fucking walk yet! How could they think a little baby would wreak havoc and go around revealing our existence?"

I pulled Bella in my arms as I stared straight at the path of snow and trees. I was lost for words. For the first time in almost three hundred years, I was rendered speechless.

Immortal children were outlawed centuries ago. I first came across these children in my stay in Volterra where the Volturi kept two children to experiment on. Aro had been the one to propose if such creations could be controlled and taught. Vampire mates had been hopeful of the endeavour — to finally have a non-human child to dote on. They were enchanting, endearing creatures. Easily loved. And yet they were untameable, prone to extreme tantrums that led to the slaughter of villagers. In the end, they were executed.

The Volturi abhorred the idea of immortal children since then. But the circumstance surrounding the conception of our half-mortal son was clearly different. I hoped it was.

"The Volturi would have to be reasoned with. There is no other choice. Bella, though she is still human, will be our son's keeper. Carlisle is already talking to her as we speak." Her voice softened. "If the Volturi refuses to be reasoned with, Theo will be safe with her. And by the time, he is grown, he could be with the Cullens."

Oh God. I had a son. A biological son. A distant dream long gone when I had been human. And he was a miracle. It was impossible and yet Bella's crimson gaze stared at me, daring me to think it untrue.

I tipped Bella's chin as I searched her eyes.

"You speak as though you won't return to him." I said softly.

"We both saw the possibility of that." She said quietly. "I want you to return to Forks and help Bella take care of our son while we resolve the conflict against the Volturi. Carlisle and the others gathered other vampires to help us testify. It might take years but through her, I could watch my son grow up. I don't want you to miss out on Theo's growth, too." Bella took my hand. "Will you go?"

I didn't even have to think it through. I said yes in a heartbeat. I wanted to meet the child. The thought of it brought me apprehension. I also wanted to see how Bella was doing. She wasn't doing well based on Alice's vision and Edward was wracked with constant guilt because of it.

"Carlisle," Bella called me tenderly. I could see now our connection more clearly, the pull that existed between us the first time I met her in the ER. She was truly my soul. Her connection with Edward blurred it but I could see it now clearer than ever. "She's ... fragile, right now. She doesn't know about us. I -- she would have to figure it out herself."

"I understand."

She beamed.

"Of course, you do, my love."