Knock!
Vanessa jolted, looking around frantically. Beside her, arms still wrapped around her midsection, Luis stirred. The TV they left playing was brighter than she remembered.
Sighing, she rubbed at her eyes.
"Bad dream?" Luis muttered, half-asleep.
"No, I heard a-"
Knock!
Knock!
In an instant, Luis was just as awake as she was. He reached for her. "I think it's coming from the door."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."
Luis snickered before leaning in and giving Vanessa a quick peck on the lips. "Cute as always."
Knock!
"Are you expecting anyone?"
"Me?" Vanessa asked, shock evident on her face.
Luis shrugged, getting to his feet.
She tried to think of anyone possibly needing anything from her at this time of night (morning?
Vanessa wasn't 100% percent sure. It was still fairly dark outside, but it was still early spring. And it wasn't uncommon for her to wake up for her six a.m. morning shifts while the sky was still dark). Nothing came to mind. Her neighbors kept to themselves, and the only person she associated with outside of work was Luis. Well, Luis and-
"Vanessa," Luis whispered excitedly, "Come here." His body was pressed up against the door, eye looking through the peephole.
"Lu…?" She asked, a little weary.
He threw open the door, prompting Vanessa to lunge towards him (just in case she was actually dreaming right now, and Vanny was lurking outside. After her earlier nightmare, she didn't feel like leaving things to chance).
But when the door opened, it wasn't Vanny or Glitchtrap or any other manner of the terrible beast; she was staring at Evan's wary and tear-stained face. Gregory lay sleeping in his arms. A baby blanket was tucked around him, and his tiny fists were holding tightly to his dad's shirt.
"Evan?" Vanessa asked, eyeing him up and down. "Is everything alright?"
His bottom lip quivered. He looked at the ground. "I'm sorry for what I said to you," he murmured, voice shaking. "My ex-wife showed me it wasn't your fault."
Vanessa nodded a long, choosing to move past the fact that unless Evan got married and divorced after Maria-he's likely talking about his (very) dead ex-wife. Not that she cared either way. What matters most is…..
"Are you and Gregory okay? Did something happen?" She ushered them inside. Turning to Luis, she murmured, "Can you please get some glasses of water?"
Luis hummed, turning to the kitchen.
Vanessa helped Evan settle in the living room. He clung to Gregory tightly, stroking his hair.
"I…I want Gregory to be raised by someone who will truly care for him," Evan said once Luis returned to the living room, two glasses of water in hand. He handed one off to Evan, who politely declined.
Vanessa nodded along, listening intently. Her heart broke for the man in front of her.
"And I think….I think that place is…." Evan trailed off, blinking back tears. "I think that place is here with you two."
"What?" She asked, brain short-circuiting. His words washed over her, but Vanessa processed none of them.
"I've seen how much you both care for him. You love him like he's your own son. That's more than I could ever ask from a stranger. I think it would be in Gregory's best interest if I sign over my rights to you, Vanessa."
"Oh," she murmured, tears springing to her eyes. "Wow, I- are you sure?"
Evan bowed his head, shoulders wracking with silent sobs. He nodded. "He deserves better than what I can provide. I just wish I could be a part of his-"
Vanessa tsked him, waving her hands frantically in the air. "Stop it; of course, you'll be a part of his life. Neither of us," she said, gesturing towards Luis and her, "would have it any other way. In fact, I encourage it. Gregory's lost enough without losing you, too."
Evan looked up at her, tears still falling from his eyes, but there was an undeniable spark of hope in them that wasn't there before. "Really?"
Vanessa smiled, looking into the red-rimmed eyes of the man who had once called her a monster, "really."
-x-x-x-
In the blink of an eye, spring flew by. New life flourished, and the weather steadily got hotter.
Vanessa headed straight for the cluster of graves underneath a large oak tree. Most of Vanny's victims had never been found, so the town bought a small plot of land in the cemetery to put some gravestones in memory of the younger victims.
She hadn't wanted to come at first. The thought of staring at the gravestones almost felt like she was admitting to herself it was real. That all the bloodshed and lives lost wasn't just a bad dream. But with all the new changes in her life, Vanessa felt like she needed to visit them (Vanny's victims) if only to close the book on that terrible period in her life.
"I'm sorry," Vanessa started quietly, unsure how to proceed, "I don't know if any of you can hear me, but I truly am sorry." The flowers she brought hang tightly in her grasp. A large bouquet of white tulips, forget-me-nots, lily of the valleys, and daffodils.
She bent down, placing one of each flower on every grave (and a few extra piles next to the tree for the victims not represented there). It was hard seeing the years engraved on the tombstones. They were all so young, but she swallowed down her tears, tending to the graves.
"I know I'll never be able to make it up to any of you, but…" Vanessa stuttered momentarily before taking a deep breath and continuing, "I-I hope you're all resting peacefully. It's the least you deserve after I…" Vanessa paused, feeling something cool touch her shoulder. She had opted for a summer dress with thin sleeves, so she felt the full force of whatever decided to lay their icy cold hands on her.
"Vanessa," a woman said. Her voice was so familiar it hurt, but it felt just out of Vanessa's reach. "I've been hoping you would visit."
She looked up. A gasp escaped from her mouth. "Dr. Torrez?"
"Please, you can call me Maria," she chuckled, sitting beside Vanessa.
They sat in silence for the longest time, side by side. Vanessa idly fidgeted with the yellow fabric of her dress.
"You know, Vanessa, none of us blame you."
"I killed you. All of you," Vanessa muttered. It was not something she liked to admit, but if there was anyone she wouldn't try to skirt blame to, it was her victims. They deserved better than that.
"Vanessa," Maria scolded, "You might have been the vessel which he used. Your body might have been the one he used to commit so many atrocities. You, while under his control, might have even enjoyed it. But Vanessa, dear," her voice grew softer. She held Vanessa's face in her hands, a gentle, almost motherly look in her amber eyes (eyes that had haunted Vanessa's every waking moment). "You are not Vanny. You were a victim, and it's okay to admit that. You were no more at fault than the rest of us. The children know it wasn't your fault."
The children.
It felt real coming from Maria's mouth, final.
Vanessa stared at her lap, fidgeting with the fabric of her dress. Anything to keep her mind off…them. Distantly, she wondered if they were here as well. Hiding somewhere out of sight.
Maria nudged her arm. "You know," she started in a leading voice, "I've been doing my best to watch over Gregory."
"You have?" Vanessa asked, sniffling. She glanced over at Maria.
"I have," she confirmed. "Not that it made much of a difference. There wasn't a lot I could do for my little boy. Being promoted to 'dead' kind of messed things up."
Vanessa cringed away. "Sorry," she murmured. (And she was, wholeheartedly).
Maria laughed. "Don't be. That's in the past. I just…" she trails off, voice strained. A few strands of hair fell in front of her face. Gracefully, she tucked the strands behind her ear. "At first, I didn't even know it was you. I needed someone, anyone, to find Gregory. So many people went past that alley, but not a single one of them spared a passing glance. If you hadn't ..." Maria paused, trying to collect herself. "I suppose I wanted to say, thank you."
Vanessa floundered for a moment. "Thank- thank you? You're thanking me?"
"Yes, thank you," Maria reiterated. "In spite of the circumstances, you took the best possible care of Gregory. I couldn't have asked for anyone better." A gentle smile graced her features. "And…and it would please my heart if you continued caring for him."
She remained silent, trying to process Maria's words.
"It's okay if you're not ready. I wouldn't want to-"
"I can think of nothing I would like more than continuing to be Mama 'Nessa."
Maria hugged her. It chilled Vanessa to her bones, but she pushed past the initial discomfort and hugged back. For once, there weren't any barriers between them. Not a therapist and a patient, nor a victim and a murder. Just a mother passing her torch to another.
When they pulled away for each other, it was with a new understanding. A shared goal. A vision of seeing Gregory grow up safe and happy.
"I'm so proud of you," Maria whispered, gently (motherly) holding Vanessa's face in her hands.
"Mama 'Nessa!" Gregory called.
With a start, Vanessa's full attention snapped to where the voice came from. A little ways down the hill, hand-in-hand with Luis, Gregory waits patiently for her. Or as patiently as a four-year-old can be.
"I'll be right there!" She called back. Vanessa turned to Maria. "Sorry, but I- where did she go?" Chalking it up to the supernatural, she decided to call it a day. Her family's waiting for her anyway.
She met them at the crook of the hill. Luis smiled at her, and Gregory was quick to attach himself to her legs. They tell her in excited voices about a bumble bee that they saw on Luis' uncle's grave, and how it was the fattest bumble bee ever. She laughed, lifting Gregory into her arms.
When they finally made it back to the car, Vanessa buckled Gregory in. He smiled sleepily at her, and as Vanessa looked into Gregory's amber eyes, she recalled all that had happened over the past month and the conversation she'd had with Maria. The sins on her shoulders felt lighter for the first time in months. Despite all the heartaches and headaches she had endured, it was worth it in the end.
"I love you," she murmured, kissing his head.
"Love you, too, Mama 'Nessa."