Azula entered her bedroom groaning. It was already dark outside. She spent her whole day with Earth Kingdom ambassadors and her brother. She couldn't be angrier. Sokka closed the door after her.
"Bad day, huh?" Sokka said as he watched her dropping herself on the bed, burying her face on a pillow.
He sat next to her and stroked her hair.
"I hate them!" Her voice came out muffled, then she rolled over to look at him. "Now, I remember why I told father to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground!" She sat up, folding her arms, annoyed.
"You know, that's a very horrible thing to say…" Sokka said, wincing a little.
"Really, Sokka?" She glared at him. "Are you going to lecture me now? Do you have any idea what I have been through the whole day? They treat me like I was nothing but a mad child whose words and opinions weren't worthy of any kind of attention! It was so humiliating!" She growled, falling back on the bed again.
He sighed, holding her hand. "I know, Princess. But you see, sometimes you say and do stuff that makes people think the worst of you." He smiled apologetically to her.
The Princess only frowned, sitting up again, both confused and annoyed. "What do you mean?"
"Well, it just…" He bit his bottom lip, afraid to piss her off even more. "Sometimes I feel that you actually try to make people think you are a bad person."
Azula rolled her eyes.
"I am a bad person, Sokka."
Sokka crossed his arms over his chest and gave her an unamused look. "You've done horrible things, yes. But then, so did your brother and your uncle. It doesn't mean you are bad."
"Well, they aren't. I am. It's okay. It's not a big deal." She shrugged, looking careless to him. "The problem is that since I had that mental breakdown people don't respect me as they used to. I need to make them fear me again. Not fear me because they think I'm insane, but because they know what I can do."
Sokka groaned and shook his head. Sometimes it was just so hard to have a conversation with her. Stubbornness was certainly a thing in the Royal Family. He knew Azula was smarter than that. That she must have known that scaring people as she used to wouldn't work anymore. But she didn't seem to be able to admit that. As Aang had said, she didn't want to admit she could change or that she had already changed.
"Azula, you know when I started liking you?" He asked softly.
The question caught her off guard. She was ready to fight and when he asked that, she suddenly felt unarmed and exposed. Her face burned.
"When?" She whispered, avoiding his eyes.
"When I saw that you were actually scared of the assassins."
"So, you liked me when I was weak?" Azula frowned at him.
Sokka rolled his eyes and growled. "Gosh, no. You weren't weak! Come on, you were afraid, yes. But the next day you were still willing to find them. What I mean is I finally saw that you were more than the perfect scary princess who was above anyone else." Azula only blinked to him. "I know you like people to think of you like that, but you are so much more! You are better than that! No one is perfect and that's what makes people unique and amazing. That what makes you so incredible. Can't you understand that?"
Azula didn't know what to say. She was angry at him for disagreeing with her when she was already stressed out, but at the same time, she felt amazed by everything he was saying. She was so confused. What was she supposed to do? Show weakness to everyone so people would start liking her? She didn't even care if people like her or not. She only wanted them to respect and fear her, and stop treating her as a madwoman.
Sokka was different. She wanted him to like her and that was the reason why she acted differently around him. And it wasn't something she could control. Nothing she did around him was controlled and she had already accepted that. But it was still so damn confusing.
"So what do you suggest?" She finally asked a little annoyed. Her heart was racing though. "That I start opening up to everyone? You think people will treat me differently then?" She asked with sarcasm, and then laughed weakly. "They will probably just think I am even crazier."
"No, Azula." Sokka sighed. "I just think you don't have to play mean all the time." He said, giggling a little, trying to clean up the air.
Azula looked away upset though. "It's not that easy. Mostly when everyone looks at me as though I was a villain in a story for children."
Sokka smiled sadly at her. "Then prove them wrong." He leaned in and kissed her.
She pulled back only to stare at him unamused. But then she just smiled. He was so… Ugh. She hated him so much. She couldn't even be angry at him. He made everything sound so easy. So simple. He dealt with her as though she was easy. The worst part was how he made her feel. She felt special but at the same time normal. She felt powerful but also vulnerable.
"I will see what I can do." She finally said, kissing him again.
A knock on the door stopped them. Sokka pulled back. "Oh, come on…" He complained, as she stood up and opened the door. There was a guard.
"Excuse me, Princess. The Fire Lord wants to talk to your guard." He said.
"Sokka?" She frowned.
The guard agreed.
Sokka walked towards them and raised one eyebrow. "What do you think he wants?" He asked.
"I don't know, but I've spent the last twenty hours around Zuzu, I'm done looking at his face." She complained. "Just go." Sokka looked worried, but before he said anything she just completed, "Come on, Sokka, it's only a few minutes. No one will show up to kill me today. Just go." She waved her hand impatiently.
Once he was gone, the Princess stood in front of the mirror, loosened her hair and started brushing it slowly. She walked distractedly towards her window, still working on her hair. The moon was full and bright. She sighed as she looked at it. She couldn't stop thinking about what Sokka had said. It was stupid, yes. But maybe, just maybe, it made some sense. She could try to be less mean to people, so they would be less scared of her. Fear was her greatest weapon, but in Zuko's government, she couldn't work only with fear. She needed a balance.
Maybe she could start acting a little different. A little nicer? No, that was ridiculous. But perhaps she could try to stop threatening people and saying things that would scare them. At least, not as much as she usually did.
She was still staring at the moon when the door opened.
"So, what did my brother want?" She asked, turning around expecting to see Sokka there. The Princess almost gasped when she saw who was really there. "You?" She glared at Katara. "What the hell are you doing in my room?" She growled, walking towards her angrily. "Come on, get out."
Katara didn't move. "No. I want to talk to you." She said coldly.
Azula only blinked, outraged. This girl couldn't be serious. "Talk to me?"
Katara stepped towards her.
"Yes." The Waterbender paused, staring at the Princess. There was something in her eyes that almost scared Azula. Actually, something was lacking. There was no fear in the Waterbender's eyes. "You know, you can fool everyone in this palace, but not me. I remember everything you did. Every person you hurt." Azula opened her mouth to speak but the girl went on walking even closer. "I was the one who saved Aang when you almost killed him. I was the one who saved your brother when you almost killed him. I nearly lost my friends, my boyfriend, and my family to you and I haven't forgotten that."
The Princess swallowed. Her heart was racing fast. She couldn't help but remember the day of the Agni Kai. How the water peasant destroyed her. No, she couldn't think of this now. She couldn't be afraid of this girl. Back there, she was mentally ill. She was fine now, right? The peasant wouldn't stand a chance, would she? Unless…
"What do you expect me to say?" Azula finally asked, looking at the girl with superiority, hiding her anxiety. She folded her arms. "You want me to apologize?" She asked sarcastically.
"I know you've hurt Sokka!" Katara shouted. Great. Azula knew this would eventually happen, but she never thought the girl would come to her room in the middle of the night to confront her like this. "And you know what? That's not even what angers me the most! It's the fact that, even so, you managed to manipulate him! I mean, he still defends you! Not only him but your brother too."
Azula didn't say anything, she only faced the girl. Her face didn't show any emotion. Katara got closer though.
"I don't want you near my brother anymore."
That made the Princess laugh. "He's my guard… And a sort of friend."
"You can find another guard. And other friends." Katara said coldly, staring at the Firebender. "I can't tell you to leave this place, but I can keep the ones I love as far away from you as possible!"
Azula dug her fingernails hard into her palms, trying to control her angriness. Who that girl thought she was? She wanted to attack her so badly and burn that bold look off her face. But she couldn't do it. Not only would it cause her too much trouble, but also it would hurt Sokka. After all, that peasant was Sokka's sister. So, the Princess just took a deep breath and gritted her teeth.
Sokka knocked on Zuko's door, a little annoyed. What could Zuko possibly want at this hour? He felt bad for the things he had said to Azula. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel worse. But he also wanted her to see that it wasn't that hard to make her people like her. She was so amazing, it felt so good to be around her. She should have known that. She just had to act a little less like her old self near some people… But that sounded almost offensive to her.
When the Fire Lord opened his door half-way, Sokka saw Zuko's frowning face looking at him. He was already wearing in his night robes. For a second, Sokka wondered why Zuko would call him if he was already going to bed.
"Sokka?" Zuko asked, before walking out the room and closing the door behind him. "What's going on?" He crossed his arm awkwardly, trying to look causal.
Sokka ignored the boy's weird behavior. Everyone in this family was a bit off anyway.
"Well, you called me here. What's up?" Sokka said, looking at Zuko, waiting for some explanation.
"What? I didn't call you. I was already going to bed." Zuko explained, looking confused to him.
"That's impossible… A guard came to Azula's room and told us you-" Sokka suddenly froze.
Azula was alone there. Someone had set this up for her.
Zuko seemed to understand what he was thinking since his eyes were widened. Next thing they know they were running down the corridor.
"Let me tell you something, peasant." She emphasized the last word. "No one. Absolutely no one. Tells me what to do. So you won't be the first."
Katara narrowed her eyes. "I'm not afraid of you, Azula. I've stopped you once, I can stop you again."
That was the last straw. There was a ring inside her head. The Princess clenched her fists hard. Every cell in her body wanted to attack the girl. Her eyes glared at the other with fire and hate.
However, when she tried to open her mouth to scream and insult the Waterbender, she couldn't move. Her eyes widened. This couldn't be real, she must have been dreaming. It was one of her nightmares. She used to have so many. But then, she didn't wake up. And when she tried to move her right arm to attack or simply do anything, it was pulled back abruptly. She felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, but she couldn't even scream.
Suddenly, her knees bent down. She felt sweat running down her back. Then, she looked up at Katara. It was her. The full moon. Azula had heard of Katara's bloodbending before, though she had never really seen it. Now she could feel it. And she couldn't help but feel terrified.
"I told I wasn't afraid of you, Azula." Katara started, but at that very moment, the door opened abruptly. "Look, I don't want to hurt you-"
"Azula?!" Sokka screamed and Zuko appeared after him. Sokka was sure he would find one of the assassins there or anything alike. He would never imagine looking at his own sister's face would be even scarier. "Katara?"
Katara turned around to look at the boys, startled. At the same time, Azula fell on the ground limb, gasping.
Sokka ran towards Katara, holding her shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?!"
The Princess' mind seemed to be still processing what had just happened. She felt her brother holding her arm, trying to help her up. She winced in pain, when she moved her right arm. Then, when she finally raised her head to look at the Waterbender in front of her, she only saw red.
"I WILL KILL YOU!" Azula screamed as she rose from the floor, throwing herself towards Katara.
She knew this wouldn't end well, but she was so angry she couldn't control herself anymore. She didn't care anymore. But before she could even reach near the girl, her brother was in front of her, stopping her.
Her back slammed against the window as Zuko held her shoulders, making sure she wouldn't move. Her right hand smacked hard against his chest, as she yelled horrible things to him in frustration.
Katara was shouting something at Azula, but the Princess couldn't really understand because Sokka was screaming at his sister as well. Azula saw him dragging Katara out of the room as Zuko kept holding her despite her protests.
"Are you insane?!" Sokka yelled at Katara as they arrived at another room.
"I should be the one asking this question!" She screamed back.
At that very moment Aang, Toph, and Suki appeared. They all looked worried.
"Guys, what happened?" Aang asked nervously as he came close to Katara.
"Katara just attacked Azula!" Sokka explained, frustration and angriness clear in his voice.
"What?!" Everybody asked at the same time.
"It wasn't like that!" Katara shouted, glaring at her brother. "Look, I know she has hurt you, okay? And after all she had said yesterday about Ozai, I was worried! I didn't want her near you or anyone I care about. Well, I can't keep her away from Zuko… But I guess he knows how to deal with her… But the rest of you. Just, no!"
"So you threatened the Spicy Princess so she wouldn't come near us?" Toph asked amazed. "I have to say I'm impressed. A very stupid move, but still impressive. "
Sokka rolled his eyes at that and groaned frustrated. Before he could say anything, Katara went on, "I didn't want to attack her, but she was so mad I was sure she was going to attack first, so…" Katara looked down. Now that she had cooled off, she seemed a little embarrassed. "But it's not like I would actually do anything that bad, Sokka!" She shouted in frustration. "Don't you know me?"
"I thought I did, but look what you have just done!" He glared at her. "Just tell me… Did you lie to the guard so he would tell us Zuko want to see me?" Sokka noticed Katara blushing and looking away. "Katara!"
Aang and the others also seemed shocked.
"Okay, I know I've crossed some lines!" Katara admitted. "But it's Azula we are talking about! I am not the bad guy here! She is!"
"But you were the one who attacked her, Katara…" Aang argued in a soft tone.
The girl just groaned.
"Yeah!" Sokka exclaimed. "You judge her so much, but you have acted exactly like her!" Katara just glared at him outraged. "I'm serious! You've lied, cheated, threatened and hurt a person! Can't you see you did everything you hate the most about her?!"
Once Sokka was gone with Katara, Zuko let go of Azula. She almost felt down again. She rested her hands on her knees, looking at the floor, panting. Her heart was pounding hard, there was a ring in her ears, she could barely breathe. She was so mad and frustrated. She had to use all her strength not to fire at her brother. She was mad at him too. It was his fault. Katara was his friend. She was here because of him.
Azula was sure he was going to blame her for everything that happened. Of course, he would. After all, he would always choose his friends over her. Just like Sokka would always choose his family and friends first. No one ever put her first. She should be used to that by now.
The moment Azula looked up to face her brother, she knew things would get worse than she thought. Not only had she tried to attack his friend, but also she had burned him. It wasn't intentional. Actually, she hadn't even noticed it until now. His shirt was partially destroyed and his chest light red. It wasn't a big injure or anything that would scar, but still. She did it. A little voice inside her head screamed, you lost control again.
"Are you okay?" Zuko asked, after a while, looking concerned at her.
"W-what." Azula mumbled, confused with his question.
"Are you okay?" He repeated. "Did she hurt you?"
Azula only blinked.
"No." She muttered as she realized how bad her right shoulder hurt.
"Good." Zuko said, sighing. "Wh- How did it even happen?"
"She found out about the accident with Sokka…"
"I figured…" He said, shaking his head frustrated.
Azula suddenly felt her body trembling and a horrible urge to cry. She didn't know if it was because the adrenaline was coming off her body or because she couldn't stop thinking of her failure at the Agni Kai years ago. Or even, because she couldn't believe her brother wasn't going to freak out and get mad at her.
He only frowned at her. He seemed worried. Almost caring.
"Aren't you mad?!" She tried to sound as angry as she could.
His eyes widened at him. "Of course, I am!" He shouted. "I'm pissed off with this whole situation! I'm so stupid! I should have seen this coming! Katara and you were at each other's throats since the beginning and I know how overprotective she can be…"
Azula gritted her teeth. Really? He wasn't going to scream at her for burning him or for trying to attack Katara? That made simply no sense. She wanted to tell him that, but there was a lump in her throat.
"Leave." She managed to say.
He frowned. "What?"
"Please, Zuko, I want to be alone!" She begged, her voice breaking.
If he said anything, if he refused to leave, she would start crying. No, she couldn't. She had been enough humiliated that day. Luckily, he only nodded.
"Fine. If you need anything… Well, you know…" He whispered, glancing worried at her, before leaving the room.
Tears fell off her face as she let out a sob. She dropped herself on the bed, with a groan. She wondered if Sokka would come to check on her. To be with her. She hated how much she wanted him here right now. It made her chest ache. What if he hated her now? Katara would convince him. She knew it. What hurt the most was that the peasant wasn't even wrong. Azula had done all the things she had said. She was actually the horrible person the Earth Kingdom ambassadors and everyone else thought she was. She was always going to be seen like this, no matter what she did.
Azula didn't know for how long she lay on her bed, in the same position in the dark. Her head hurt. She was tired and sleepy, but every time she closed her eyes all kinds of nightmares would come. After a while, she heard someone opening her door again.
The Princess didn't move. She was so beaten she didn't care if it was a servant, her brother or even an assassin.
Then, she felt a hand on her hair, stroking it softly. She rolled over to look up at Sokka. She almost let a cry of relief.
"Hi…" Azula whispered, trying to hold back the tears.
"Hey… Are you all right?" Sokka asked gently, as he lay next to her, embracing her in his arms. "I'm so sorry for what my sister did…"
The way he talked to her, his embrace, his touch… Everything was so soft, it was as though he was afraid anything could hurt her. For some reason that made her feel both comforted and vulnerable. She hated him for making her feel this way. But at the same time, she was so glad he was there right now. She wanted to tell him that. She wanted to tell him she was feeling miserable but his presence made it better. She wanted to ask him if he was mad at her for trying to attack his sister. She wanted to tell him she had burned Zuko and, for the first time, she felt horrible for it. She wanted to tell him she didn't want to be a horrible person anymore, but she didn't know how to change.
In the end, she didn't say anything. She only buried her face in his chest and cried.
A/N: Thanks for reading! :)
I'm sorry for making Azula suffer! But don't worry, things will get better soon! At least for a while...
