Chapter 6 – Better Angels
"Sorry." I murmur keeping my head down, my now disgusting hair falling in my face and hands falling to the ground, as I quickly pull away from my comforter and slowly get control over myself. I could feel their eyes on me while the others' sobs are still sounding around me and I receive their response: a soft, quiet grunt. Signaling that the one who had just held me and was still watching me was the younger Dixon. I couldn't help Dale, was almost suffocated to death by a deadhead and a fucking dead cow, had Dale's blood on my back and felt his dying moments, had cow blood and guts on my arm, I fucking cried like a child over the death of a man who I'd only known a few days…but a man who was like Hershel, the man who became my father…a man that I had just told I didn't want his humanity to get him killed...a man who wouldn't have died if I had just let the cow die on its own, and had to be comforted by Daryl. The man who acted as if it hurt him to apologize for basically calling me a slut. The man who angrily confronted me about my relationship with his brother. The man I found arguably attractive but would never let myself like in a romantic way. I was pathetic.
Feeling hesitant fingers start to brush against my arm I raise my head with a hard look. My eyes meeting his causing him to retract the hand quickly and his face to replace the slightly concerned look with that which he normally directed at me, minor anger. "I'm fine." I huff out averting my eyes and standing. I didn't need his concern or his help. That's when I feel a familiar, gentle, large hand placed on my shoulder, so I look towards the owner, none other than Merle, his eyes concerned. "I'm fine." I repeat looking away which earned a quick comforting squeeze before he removed his hand. With that I head back to the house, thankfully alone. Merle and the others that knew me knew I wasn't fine emotionally but was going to let me work it out on my own, for now, and the others were…well making funeral arrangements and still grieving. They also didn't really care about me that much. To them I was still just Hershel's eldest daughter and the woman that came with Merle.
The door slams shut behind me as I just head up the stairs and into my bathroom. I strip off my shirt, it already beginning to stiffen from the drying blood, and simply throw it on the floor. I'll probably never wear it again even if it can be "saved." Sitting on the toilet lid I undo my muddy shoelaces and slip the shoes that were once white weeks ago off, followed by the now nasty socks. Standing I undo my nasty jeans and slide them off, leaving me in just my sports bra and underwear which I quickly strip off too, before stepping into the shower and turning it on. I simply just watch as the mud and blood swirls down the drain. Feelings sucked.
****Time Skip****
I stood away from the group, Merle at my side and Daryl at his, as Rick spoke "Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare…and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us…the truth, who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to un-break it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale." With that he knelt down and put a hand on Dale's grave. The fifth in the line near the big oak tree.
Merle gives me a nudge then signaling it was time for him, Daryl, Shane, Andrea, and T-Dog to go and check the property for more deadheads and to stop anymore from getting that close. I just nod and motion to the truck before turning and heading back to the house. Hershel has now decided to let the group stay inside thus meaning it had to get ready to accommodate sixteen people. And now that deadheads were getting close it also needed to start getting fortified and prepared for many deadheads. Especially the basement, the area now designated to holing up if many deadheads or anything found its way here and we couldn't escape.
My task was the basement since I survived so long in an apartment by doing so myself. Thus, it was where I headed, once in the house. And as when I pass my sisters, Hershel, and Patricia, they give me a quick arm squeeze in comfort, knowing how I felt about…well handling my feelings. And well I didn't care about the other's sleeping situation, just Merle's who had already decided to stay in my room with me days ago.
Hershel obviously hadn't liked this, but he didn't voice his disapproval when I told him about it. Well, maybe it had to do with the fact that I also shared Merle's reasoning with him: "It's not like we weren't sleeping together when we were making our way here." Of course, it wasn't their first thought that that statement meant but it didn't really leave any room for argument.
****Time Skip****
"Hey." I hear Daryl's voice suddenly say from behind me as I was, well, being distracted by a scrapbook. Not having heard him approach or expecting it I get startled and jump a little before snaping the book shut, whirling around, and snapping "You need a freaking bell!" "Maybe you need to pay more attention." He says, amusement clear on his face, causing me to glare at him and say, "Or maybe you need to stop sneaking up on women." This of course, hits a nerve and his face morphs into minor rage as he practically growls "Here. This is yours." While tossing something to the ground next to me.
The unmistakable sound of a knife hitting concrete fills the room when it hits, and he turns and storms away. Rolling my eyes, I turn and place the scrapbook back in the plastic tub I found it in. I then look down at my knife and release a sigh, noticing that it was cleaned of any sign of the events from yesterday. Freaking idiot. Me? Him? I didn't know anymore.
****Time Skip****
Walking out onto the porch, my task done, I go and stand next to Merle before nudging him and motioning towards the truck sitting in front of it and Rick and Daryl standing next to it. "Rick and Daryl are taking the little fucker out and cutting 'em loose." Merle says throwing his weaponized arm over my shoulder, so I sigh out a "Great."
That's when Merle gets tense and the other two do as well causing me to look to where they were to see T-Dog running towards us. "Well shit." I mutter as T-Dog shouts "He's gone." Now close enough for us to hear him. We then all take off in the direction of the shed, joined by Glenn and Andrea on the way.
Sure, as shit, the shed was empty of any sign of Randall. "I unlock the door and it's just empty." T-dog explains causing the Dixons to search the ground for any sign of where he went while Rick and Andrea inspect the inside of the shed. "What's wrong?" Maggie asks as her and the rest of the group run over, probably having heard T-Dog's shout.
"Randall's missing." Glenn tells her causing her to ask "Missing? How?" as she comes and stands next to me. "How long's he been gone?" Hershel questions causing Rick to say "It's hard to say. The cuffs are still hooked. He must've slipped 'em." "Is that possible?" Carol asks so Andrea answers "It is if you've got nothing to lose." "The door was secured from the outside." Hershel says then shutting it and opening it, inspecting it. Something was rotten here, and it wasn't any deadhead. Sure, he could've slipped his cuffs and could've jumped whoever opened the door and escaped. But it was empty, locked from the outside, and no sign of any recent struggle.
That's when Shane's voice is heard shouting "Rick! Rick!" from the woods. We all look over to see Shane, with a busted nose and blood from it down to his chest, coming towards us causing Lori to shout "What happened?" "He's armed! He's got my gun!" Shane shouts causing Carl to question "Are you okay?" "I'm fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face." Shane responds causing Rick to quickly order "All right, Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, Merle, and Nai, come with us."
Daryl immediately loads an arrow on his crossbow while Shane says "T, I'm gonna need that gun." "Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?" Carol says causing Rick to answer "The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun." As T-dog hands Shane his gun. "Don't go out there. Y'all know what can happen." Carol pleads as our group starts heading to the woods only for Rick to say "Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!" They do as they're told behind us and Rick readies his revolver, and Merle and I pull our guns. Its time to figure out what's going on and practically hunt a person.
Once in the woods Shane tells us "I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out. I'm not sure how long." "He couldn't have gotten far. He's hobbled, exhausted." Rick says causing Glenn to add "And armed." "So are we." Merle answers in a scoff causing me to send him a quick warning glance before Rick questions Dixons "Can you track him?" "No, I don't see nothing." Daryl responds looking around at the ground with Merle who had just shook his head in response. Well what good are you two then?
"Hey, look, there ain't no use in tracking him, okay? He went that way. We just need to pair up. We spread out; we just chase him down. That's it." Shane says then causing Daryl to say "The kid weighs a buck-25 soaking wet. You trying to tell us he got the jump on you?" while giving him a look. "I'd say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?" Shane defends so Rick takes control and tells us "All right, knock it off. Daryl and Glenn start heading up the right flank. Merle and Nai take the middle. Me and Shane'll take the left. Remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other." And with that we all split off.
When we're alone I question "Ya believe his story?" "Not at all." Merle grunts back before saying "I don't like this Peepers." "I agree. But we still need to find the little bastard. Get the true story." I respond following close behind him.
****Time Skip****
Once the sun was down and the woods was full of night we end up meeting back up with Daryl and Glenn back at the beginning where we all separated. This causes Glenn to say, "We're just back to square one." "If yer gonna do a thing, ya might as well do it right." Merle says putting his gun away and taking the light from Daryl allowing him to have both hands on his crossbow again as they search the ground. Guess the two had planned to come back here and investigate deeper since the beginning.
"There's two sets of tracks right here. Shane must've followed him a lot longer than he said." Daryl says before I notice a faint shine on a tree and nudge Merle before pointing to it. He shines the light on it and Daryl goes up to it saying, "There's fresh blood on this tree." Merle then moves the light back to the ground and says, "There's more tracks." "Looks like they're walking in tandem." Daryl says as we start following them causing me to mutter, "Fuckers tryin' to pull one over on us." But what the hell was his goal? Just killing Randall? He could've done that without all this show with a similar story.
An animal howls somewhere in the distance causing Glenn to get distracted and bump into me. "Sorry." He quickly says so I wave him off as Merle growls at him "Focus Chinaman." "Yeah, there was a little dust up right here." Daryl says then looking closely at the ground causing Glenn to question "What do you mean?" "He means, something went down." I tell him causing him to say, "This is getting weird." "No shit." I mutter before Daryl says, "Had a little trouble." as we come up on the blindfold on the ground. Glenn bends down and picks it up as I hear something moving behind us. Soon after I look back it snaps a stick causing the others to react too and we all move for cover. Looking behind the tree I see the definite figure of Randall walking about. But he seemed strange, he was moving like a deadhead.
Merle whistles softly then getting all of our attention before throwing the light to Glenn. He catches it as Randall starts getting closer, probably also hearing the sound. Soon he was close to where Glenn and Daryl were causing Glenn to step out. This in turn causing the now, of course, deadhead Randall to roar at him and attack. He ends up just sending Glenn to the ground and then gets distracted by and goes for the nearby Daryl.
Daryl fires an arrow at him but misses forcing him to block him from biting him with his crossbow. Quickly Merle heads over and spears Randall through the head with a "What'd ya do without me?" "Ya alright Glenn? Daryl?" I question joining them as Merle pushes Randall off and to the ground earning a "Yeah. I'm alright." From Glenn and grunted "Yeah." From Daryl.
I then grab the light from the ground and walk over to Randall to inspect him earning a "Careful Peepers." From Merle. I wave him off as I kick him, making sure he was really re-dead now, before using my foot to move his head, his neck obviously broken from the disgusting movement it gave. "Necks broken." I tell them before putting my gun away as I kneel down before slowly checking his body for any bites that would have turned him. Finding none from my basic once over I release a "Huh." As I roll him back over onto his back.
"What is it?" Glenn questions then so I respond, "No bites." Debating whether or not to strip him to make sure. "Yeah, none you can see." Glenn says so I mutter "Let's make sure then." My decision made up, re-killed Randall was getting stripped. "How are…" Glenn starts before trailing off as I get my knife out causing him to breathe out "God Nai Really?" "Not the worse I've done to a corpse." I mutter handing the light back over to Merle before making quick work of removing Randall's clothes with my knife.
"There's no bites." Daryl says after I roll Randall over onto his stomach again, so I stand up saying, "He died from the broken neck. Not a bite." "How's that possible?" Glenn questions as Merle questions "Ya come across this before Peepers?" knowing of my work with my dead jars, having told him about it when he asked about them.
"We gotta tell the others." Glenn says when I simply shake my head in response.