Alberta took a breath before opening the book,
Sixteen
LISSA FOUND ME LATER IN the day. I'd fallen asleep after Mason left, too dejected to leave the bed. Her slamming of the door jolted me awake. I was happy to see her. I needed to spill about the fumbled thing with Mason, but before I could, I read her feelings.
"Typical Rose, ignoring her problems to help Lissa," Eddie shook his head.
They were as troubled as mine. So, as always, I put her first. "What happened?" She sat on her bed, sinking into the feather duvet, her feelings both furious and sad. "Christian." "Really?" I'd never known them to fight.
"You're fault," Christian glared at Adrian, Adrian smirking back at him not fazed at all.
They teased each other a lot, but it was hardly the kind of thing that could nearly bring her to tears. "He found out... I was with Adrian this morning."
"You are trouble," Eddie said shaking his head.
"Oh, wow," I said. "Yeah. That might be a problem." Standing up, I walked over to the dresser and found my brush. Wincing, I stood in front of the gilt-framed mirror and began brushing out the snarls acquired during my nap. She groaned. "But nothing happened! Christian's freaking out over nothing. I can't believe he doesn't trust me."
"I think he doesn't trust Adrian; I mean I don't trust you," Mason said looking at Adrian.
"He trusts you. The whole thing's just weird, that's all."
"Too true," Christian said annoyed.
I thought about Dimitri and Tasha. "Jealousy makes people do and say stupid things."
"Well that is so true," Ivan rolled his, thinking about all the stupid things Rose and Dimitri had done since Tasha and Mason's drama happened.
"But nothing happened," she repeated. "I mean, you were there and -hey, I never found out. What were you doing there?" "Adrian sent me a bunch of perfume." "He -you mean that giant box you were carrying?" I nodded. "Whoa." "Yeah. I came to return it," I said. "The question is, what were you doing there?" "Just talking," she said. She started to light up, on the verge of telling me something, but then she paused.
"Why is she trying to hide something from Rose?" Christian asked worried,
I felt the thought almost reach the front of her mind and then get shoved back. "I've got a lot to tell you, but first tell me what's up with you." "Nothing's up with me." "Whatever, Rose. I'm not psychic like you, but I know when you're pissed off about something. You've been kind of down since Christmas. What's up?"
"Nothing much your future husband's aunt arrived and is trying to steal your best friend's future man," Ivan said sarcastically.
Now wasn't the time to get into what had happened on Christmas when my mom told me about Tasha and Dimitri. But I did tell Lissa the story about Mason -editing out why I had stopped-and simply driving home how I had. "Well..." she said when I finished. "That was your right."
"She's right," Abe said looking at Mason who was still moping about what had happened in the previous chapter.
"I know. But I kind of led him on. I can see why he'd be upset." "You guys can probably fix it, though. Go talk to him. He's crazy about you." It was more than miscommunication. Things with Mason and me couldn't be patched up so easily. "I don't know," I told her. "Not everyone's like you and Christian." Her face darkened. "Christian. I still can't believe he's being so stupid about this."
"Well he is a boy so they do stupid things," Victoria smiled at Christian who chose to glare at her, Eddie chuckled.
I didn't mean to, but I laughed. "Liss, you guys'll kiss and make up in like a day. More than kiss, probably." It slipped out before I could stop it. Her eyes widened. "You know." She shook her head in exasperation.
"Sadly," Christian said sadly.
"Of course you know." "Sorry," I said. I hadn't meant to let her know I knew about the sex thing, not until she told me herself. She eyed me. "How much do you know?"
"More than she and I would like," Christian shook his head.
"Um, not much," I lied. I'd finished brushing my hair but began playing with the brush's handle in order to avoid her eyes. "I have got to learn to keep you out of my mind," she muttered. "Only way I can 'talk' to you lately."
"Oh no now they're gonna fight." Alberta shook her head, wondering when Rose is going to get a break.
Another slipup. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded. "Nothing ... I..." She was giving me a sharp look. "I... I don't know. I just feel like we don't talk as much anymore." "Takes two to fix that," she said, voice kind again. "You're right," I said, not pointing out that two could fix that only if one wasn't always with her boyfriend. True, I was guilty in my own way of locking things up -but I had wanted to talk to her a number of times lately.
"Hopefully she tells Lissa about the whole Dimitri thing," Karolina said hoping that Rose would get some help from her friend.
The timing just never seemed to be right -not even now. "You know, I never thought you'd be first. Or I guess I never thought I'd be a senior and still be a virgin." "Yeah," she said dryly. "Me either." "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" She grinned, then caught sight of her watch. Her smile fell. "Ugh. I've got to go to Priscilla's banquet. Christian was supposed to go with me, but he's off being an idiot..." Her eyes focused hopefully on me.
"Aww, that's sweet," Oksana said hoping the girls would have a fun time.
"What? No. Please, Liss. You know how I hate those formal royal things." "Oh, come on," she begged. "Christian flaked out. You can't throw me to the wolves. And didn't you just say we needed to talk more?" I groaned. "Besides, when you're my guardian, you'll have to do these things all the time." "I know," I said darkly. "I thought I could maybe enjoy my last six months of freedom."
"Not going to happen, Lissa is taking her and there is nothing she can do to save herself," Mason smiled.
But in the end, she conned me into going with her, as we'd both known she would.
"Told you so," Smiled Mason.
We didn't have much time, and I had to do a rush shower, blow-dry, and makeup job. I'd brought Tasha's dress on a whim, and while I still wanted her to suffer horribly for being attracted to Dimitri,
"I know the feeling," Ivan rolled his eyes.
I was grateful for her present now. I pulled on the silken material, happy to see the shade of red was just as killer on me as I'd imagined. It was a long, Asian-style dress with flowers embroidered into the silk. The high neck and long hem covered a lot of skin, but the material clung to me and looked sexy in a different kind of way than showing a lot of skin did.
Janine and Abe glared at the book before agreeing with Ivan that they didn't like her.
My black eye was practically nonexistent by now. Lissa, as always, looked amazing. She wore a deep purple dress by Johnna Raski, a well-known Moroi designer. It was sleeveless and made of satin. The tiny amethyst-like crystals set into the straps sparkled against her pale skin. She wore her hair up in a loose, artfully styled bun.
Tatiana smiled, pleased that Lissa looked presentable.
When we reached the banquet room, we drew a few eyes. I don't think the royals had expected the Dragomir princess to bring her dhampir friend to this highly anticipated, invitation-only dinner. But hey, Lissa's invite had said "and guest." She and I took our places at one of the tables with some royals whose names I promptly forgot.
"Understandable," Alberta, Janine and Dimitri nodded,
They were happy to ignore me, and I was happy to be ignored. Besides, it wasn't like there weren't plenty of other distractions. This room was done all in silver and blue. Midnight blue silk cloths covered the tables, so shiny and smooth that I was terrified to eat on them. Sconces of beeswax candles hung all over the walls, and a fireplace decorated with stained glass crackled away in one corner. The effect was a spectacular panorama of color and light, dizzying to the eye. In the corner, a slim Moroi woman played soft cello music, her face dreamy as she focused on the song. The clinking of crystal wineglasses complemented the strings' low, sweet notes.
"Pretty but boring," Sonja yawned,
Dinner was equally amazing. The food was elaborate, but I recognized everything on my plate (china, of course) and liked all of it. No foie gras here. Salmon in a sauce of shiitake mushrooms. A salad with pears and goat cheese. Delicate almond-stuffed pastries for dessert. My only complaint was that the portions were small.
"Well they are meant for moroi's, not dhampirs," Tatiana rolled her eyes wondering why Lissa would bring Rose.
The food seemed more like it was there to simply decorate the plates, and I swear, I finished it in ten bites. Moroi might still need food along with their blood, but they didn't need as much as a human -or, say, a growing dhampir girl-needed. Still, the food alone could have justified me coming along on this venture, I decided.
"She forgot she is going to have to mingle after dinner," Abe chuckled, he hated Moroi parties because of the mingling.
Except, when the meal ended, Lissa told me we couldn't leave. "We have to mingle," she whispered. Mingle? Lissa laughed at my discomfort. "You're the social one." It was true. In most circumstances, I was the one who put myself out there and wasn't afraid to talk to people. Lissa tended to be shyer.
"Yes but that is with our common people, not the royal high society," Eddie shook his head.
Only, with this group, the tables were turned. This was her element, not mine, and it amazed me to see just how well she could interact with royal high society now. She was perfect, polished and polite. Everyone was eager to talk to her, and she always seemed to know the right thing to say.
Tatiana smiled please that Lissa was doing so well.
She wasn't using compulsion, exactly, but she definitely put out an air that drew others to her. I think it might have been an unconscious effect of spirit. Even with the meds, her magical and natural charisma came through.
"Is that possible?" Tatiana asked looking at Adrian then Mark and Oksana, but no one answered her.
Whereas intense social interactions had once been forced and stressful for her, she now conducted them with ease. I was proud of her. Most of the conversation stayed pretty light: fashion, royal love lives, etc. No one seemed to want to spoil the atmosphere with ugly Strigoi talk. So I clung to her side for the rest of the night. I tried to tell myself it was just practice for the future, when I'd follow her around like a quiet shadow anyway.
"Well it is good practice either way," Dimitri smiled proud of Roza.
The truth was, I just felt too uncomfortable with this group and knew my usual snarky defense mechanisms really weren't useful here. Plus, I was painfully aware that I was the only dhampir dinner guest. There were other dhampirs, yes, but they were in formal guardian mode, hovering on the periphery of the room. As Lissa worked the crowd, we drifted over to a small group of Moroi whose voices were growing louder.
"Drama!" Victoria snickered dramatically.
One of them I recognized. He was the guy from the fight that I'd helped break up, only this time he wore a striking black tuxedo instead of a swimsuit.
"I would hope so," Tatiana said lifting one eyebrow.
"Now that would have been a sight to see," Christian and Adrian chuckled.
He glanced up at our approach, blatantly checked us out, but apparently didn't remember me. Ignoring us, he continued on with his argument. Not surprisingly, Moroi protection was the topic. He was the one who'd been in favor of Moroi going on the offensive against the Strigoi. "What part of 'suicide' don't you understand?" asked one of the men standing nearby. He had silvery hair and a bushy mustache. He wore a tux too, but the younger guy looked better in one. "Moroi training as soldiers will be the end of our race." "It's not suicide," exclaimed the young guy. "It's the right thing to do.
"Agreed," Christian nodded.
We have to start looking out for ourselves. Learning to fight and use our magic is our greatest asset, other than the guardians." "Yes, but with the guardians, we don't need other assets," said Silver Hair.
"Well considering what is happening I think you do," Eddie added wondering what it would be like to fight alongside a Moroi.
"You've been listening to non-royals. They don't have any guardians of their own, so of course they're scared. But that's no reason to drag us down and put our lives at risk." "Then don't," said Lissa suddenly. Her voice was soft, but everyone in the little group stopped and looked at her.
The room was also entranced.
"When you talk about Moroi learning how to fight, you make it sound like an all-or-nothing matter. It's not. If you don't want to fight, then you shouldn't have to. I completely understand." The man looked slightly mollified. "But, that's because you can rely on your guardians. A lot of Moroi can't. And if they want to learn self-defense, there's no reason why they shouldn't do it on their own."
Tatiana looked horrified at the idea that Lissa was agreeing with Christian and Tasha. Christian smiled, proud of his future girlfriend.
The younger guy grinned triumphantly at his adversary. "There, you see?" "It's not that easy," countered Silver Hair. "If it was just a matter of you crazy people wanting to get yourselves killed, then fine. Go do it. But where are you going to learn all these so-called fighting skills?"
"We will figure it out?" Christian smiled.
"We'll figure the magic out on our own. Guardians will teach us actual physical fighting." "Yes, see? I knew that was where this was going. Even if the rest of us don't take part in your suicide mission, you still want to strip us of our guardians to train up your pretend army."
"Why not use the guardians that are training the dhampirs at the schools?" Victoria rolled her eyes at how dumb the people were being.
The young guy scowled at the word pretend, and I wondered if more fists would fly. "You owe it to us." "No, they don't," said Lissa. Intrigued gazes turned her way again. This time, it was Silver Hair who regarded her triumphantly. The younger guy's features flushed with anger. "Guardians are the best battle resources we have." "They are," she agreed, "but that doesn't give you the right to take them away from their duty." Silver Hair practically glowed. "Then how are we supposed to learn?" demanded the other guy. "The same way guardians do," Lissa informed him. "If you want to learn to fight, go to the academies. Form classes and start at the beginning, the same way the novices do. That way, you won't be taking guardians away from active protection. It's a safe environment, and the guardians there specialize in teaching students anyway."
"Thank you," Victoria and Christian said at the same time. Tatianna was shaking her head. She was not enjoying what the book was saying, she would not allow it to happen. Moroi had no reason to fight, and she would make sure they never do. All while Christian and Alberta were making notes about what Lissa had said.
She paused thoughtfully. "You could even start making defense part of the standard curriculum for Moroi students already there." Astonished stares fell on her, mine included. It was such an elegant solution, and everyone else around us realized it. It gave no party 100 percent of its demands, but it met most in a way that didn't really harm the other side.
Christian had stars in his eyes, while the rest of the people in the room aside from Tatiana smiled agreeing with the book.
Pure genius. The other Moroi studied her with wonder and fascination. Suddenly, everyone started talking at once, excited about the idea. They drew Lissa in, and soon there was a passionate conversation going on about her plan.
"Now if only she would use that charm on something else, everything would be golden," Tatiana snapped annoyed.
I got shuffled to the edges and decided that was just fine. Then I retreated altogether and sought out a corner near a door. Along the way, I passed a server with a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Still hungry, I eyed them suspiciously but saw nothing that looked like the foie gras from the other day. I gestured to one that looked like some sort of braised, rare meat. "Is that goose liver?" I asked. She shook her head. "Sweetbread."
"No that is much worst," Adrian chuckled,
That didn't sound bad. I reached for it. "It's pancreas," said a voice behind me.
"I wonder who saved her." Mason glared at Adrian who was chuckling.
I jerked back. "What?" I squeaked. The waitress took my shock for rejection and moved on. Adrian Ivashkov moved into my line of sight, looking immensely pleased with himself. "Are you messing with me?" I asked. "'Sweetbread' is pancreas?" I don't know why that shocked me so much. Moroi consumed blood. Why not internal organs?
"Because they are strange," All the Belikov girls said at the same time.
Still, I repressed a shudder. Adrian shrugged. "It's really good." I shook my head in disgust. "Oh, man. Rich people suck." His amusement continued. "What are you doing here, little dhampir? Are you following me around?"
"Most definitely not," Abe and Dimitri glared at Adrian.
"Of course not," I scoffed. He was dressed to perfection, as always. "Especially not after all the trouble you've gotten us into." He flashed one of his tantalizing smiles, and despite how much he annoyed me, I again felt that overwhelming urge to be near him.
Adrian smiled and winked at Dimitri. Ivan wondered who would be the first to kill Adrian was it going to be Abe or Dimitri.
What was up with that? "I don't know," he teased. He looked perfectly sane now, exhibiting no trace of the weird behavior I'd witnessed in his room. And yeah, he looked a lot better in a tuxedo than any guy I'd seen in there so far. "As many times as we keep seeing each other? This is, what, the fifth time? It's starting to look suspicious. Don't worry, though. I won't tell your boyfriend. Either of them."
"You are an ass," Victoria shook her head.
I opened my mouth to protest, then remembered he'd seen me with Dimitri earlier. I refused to blush. "I only have one boyfriend. Sort of. Maybe not anymore. And anyway, there's nothing to tell. I don't even like you."
"No?" asked Adrian coyly
"No?" asked Adrian, still smiling. He leaned toward me, like he had a secret to share. "Then why are you wearing my perfume?" This time, I did blush. I took a step back. "I'm not." He laughed. "Of course you are. I counted the boxes after you left. Besides, I can smell it on you. It's nice. Sharp...but still sweet -just like I'm sure you are deep down inside. And you got it right, you know. Just enough to add an edge...but not enough to drown your own scent."
"I really don't like you," Abe shook his head wondering what it would take to get Adrian to leave Rose alone.
The way he said "scent" made it sound like a dirty word. Royal Moroi might make me uncomfortable, but smartass guys hitting on me didn't. I dealt with them on a regular basis. I shook off my shyness and remembered who I was. "Hey," I said, tossing my hair back. "I had every right to take one. You offered them. Your mistake is in assuming me taking one means anything. It doesn't. Except that maybe you should be more careful with where you dump all that money of yours."
"Agreed," Tatiana said looking pointedly at her nephew.
"Ooh, Rose Hathaway is here to play, folks." He paused and took a glass of what looked like champagne from a passing waiter. "You want one?" "I don't drink."
"Right," Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Right." Adrian handed me a glass anyway, then shooed the waiter away and took a drink of the champagne. I had a feeling it wasn't his first of the night.
"Let's hope not," Adrian smirked
"So. Sounds like our Vasilisa put my dad in his place." "Your ..." I glanced back at the group I'd just left. Silver Hair still stood there, gesticulating wildly. "That guy's your dad?" "That's what my mom says." "You agree with him? About how Moroi fighting would be suicide?" Adrian shrugged and took another sip. "I don't really have an opinion on that."
"Let's hope it stays that way," Tatiana ordered.
"Or what?" Adrian asked back.
"That's not possible. How can you not feel one way or another?" "Dunno. Just not something I think about. I've got better things to do." "Like stalk me," I suggested. "And Lissa." I still wanted to know why she'd been in his room. He smiled again. "I told you, you're the one following me." "Yeah, yeah, I know. Five times -" I stopped. "Five times?" He nodded. "No, it's only been four." With my free hand, I ticked them off. "There was that first night, the night at the spa, then when I came to your room, and now tonight." The smile turned secretive. "If you say so."
"What do you know?" Abe questioned, but Adrian being an idiot didn't answer him.
"I do say so..." Again, my words trailed off. I had talked to Adrian one other time. Sort of. "You can't mean ..." "Mean what?" A curious, eager expression lit his eyes. It was more hopeful than presumptuous. I swallowed, recalling the dream.
"There is no way," Abe glared at Adrian
"Spirit is a magical power to have," was all Adrian said.
"Great she's not safe from him in her own dreams." Abe shook his head about ready to kill Adrian. Dimitri was shocked he didn't like the sound of that at all.
"Nothing." Without thinking about it, I took a drink of champagne. Across the room, Lissa's feelings burned back to me, calm and content. Good. "Why are you smiling?" Adrian asked. "Because Lissa's still over there, working that crowd." "No surprise there. She's one of those people who can charm anyone she wants if she tries hard enough. Even people who hate her."
"A good thing but she's using it the wrong way," Tatiana said annoyed,
"Nope she's using it in the best way she can," Christian defended Lissa.
I gave him a wry look. "I feel that way when I talk to you." "But you don't hate me," he said,
"Sadly," Dimitri mumbled under his breath.
finishing the last of his champagne. "Not really." "I don't like you either." "So you keep saying." He took a step toward me, not threatening, just making the space between us more intimate. "But I can live with that." "Rose!" The sharpness of my mother's voice cut through the air.
"Let's hope this is not a repeat of last time," Abe said looking at Janine with a raised eyebrow.
A few people within earshot glanced over at us. My mother -all five angry feet of her-stormed up to us.
"Done," Alberta said closing the book.
~~~~
I'll read next," Yeva smiled at Alberta.
"Well this should be interesting," Abe smirked shaking his head. Dimitri and Ivan just hoped that nothing horrible would happen in this chapter.
Seventeen
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE doing?" she demanded. Her voice was still too loud as far as I was concerned.
"I know the feeling," Karolina nodded looking at her mother, Sonja and Victoria agreed with her. All three of them had gotten in trouble while out in public and their mother had not spared them at all.
"Nothing, I -" "Excuse us, Lord Ivashkov," she growled. Then, like I was five years old, she grabbed me by my arm and jerked me out of the room.
"Well at least it was your ear," Victoria said under her breath, rubbing her one ear.
Champagne sloshed out of my glass and splashed onto the skirt of my dress. "What do you think you're doing?" I exclaimed, once we were out in the hall. Mournfully, I looked down at my dress. "This is silk. You could have ruined it." She grabbed the champagne flute and set it down on a nearby table. "Good. Maybe it'll stop you from dressing up like a cheap whore."
"Hey!" Ivan, Dimitri and Abe yelled at the same time glaring at Janine.
"You want her to wear something skin tight around him?" Janine asked Abe pointing at Adrian.
"No but that's no reason to call her a cheap whore," Abe glared.
"Whoa," I said, shocked. "That's kind of harsh. And where do you get off turning motherly all of a sudden?" I gestured to the dress.
"I would like to know that as well," Olena shook her head, she was still not pleased with Janine.
"This isn't exactly cheap. You thought it was nice of Tasha to give it to me." "That's because I didn't expect you to wear it out with Moroi and make a spectacle of yourself."
"She wasn't," Adrian shook his head, not pleased that his chat with Rose had been cut short.
"I'm not making a spectacle of myself. And anyway, it covers everything up." "A dress that tight might as well be showing everything," she retorted. She, of course, was dressed in guardian black: tailored black linen pants and a matching blazer. She had a few curves of her own, but the clothing hid them.
"As it should," Janine nodded.
"Especially when you're with a group like that. Your body's...conspicuous. And flirting with Moroi doesn't really help." "I wasn't flirting with him." The accusation made me angry because I felt I'd been on really good behavior lately.
"She really has been," Alberta said pleased.
I used to flirt all the time - and do other things-with Moroi guys, but after a few talks and one embarrassing incident with Dimitri, I'd realized how stupid that was.
"Aw Dimka you are making her a good little girl," Victoria laughed at her bother.
"You do know she's older than you, right?" Dimitri frowned at Victoria who stopped laughing immediately.
Dhampir girls did have to be careful with Moroi guys, and I kept that in mind all the time now. Something petty occurred to me.
"This is not going to end well," Abe shook his head. He didn't want to see the two women in his life have another fight.
"Besides," I said mockingly, "isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Hook up with a Moroi and further my race? It's what you did." She glowered. "Not when I was your age." "You were only a few years older than me."
"Two, to be exact," Abe smirked, which resulted in him getting hit by Janine.
"Don't do anything stupid, Rose," she said. "You're too young for a baby. You don't have the life experience for it - you haven't even lived your own life yet. You won't be able to do the kind of job you wish you could."
"That is rather good advice," Olena and Karoline nodded at Janine surprised.
I groaned, mortified. "Are we really even discussing this? How did we go from me allegedly flirting to suddenly having a litter?
"Now that is a funny image," Adrian smirked at Dimitri, hoping to rile the man up. So Adrian never saw the pillow that Ivan had thrown at him till it hit him in the face.
"Nice aim," Yeva smiled at Ivan, who was still glaring at Adrian
I'm not having sex with him or anyone else, and even if I were, I know about birth control. Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?" "Because you act like one." It was remarkably like what Dimitri had told me. I glared. "So you're going to send me to my room now?" "No, Rose."
"Thank you," Abe said looking at Janine.
She suddenly looked tired. "You don't have to go to your room, but don't go back in there, either. Hopefully you didn't draw too much attention." "You make it sound like I was giving a lap dance in there,"
"Not a word," Ivan threatened Adrian holding up another pillow.
I told her. "I just had dinner with Lissa." "You'd be surprised what things can spark rumors," she warned. "Especially with Adrian Ivashkov."
"I'm not that bad," Adrian rolled his eyes
"Yes you are," Alberta, Janine and Tatiana said at the same time.
With that, she turned and headed off down the hall. Watching her, I felt anger and resentment burn through me. Overreact much? I hadn't done anything wrong. I knew she had her whole blood-whore paranoia, but this was extreme, even for her. Worst of all, she'd dragged me out of there, and several people had witnessed it. For someone who supposedly didn't want me attracting attention, she'd kind of messed that one up.
"Well that was the point," Janine said with a nod. She just hoped that Rose would not go back into the room.
A couple of Moroi who'd been standing near Adrian and me walked out of the room. They glanced in my direction and then whispered something as they passed. "Thanks, Mom," I muttered to myself. Humiliated, I stalked off in the opposite direction,
Janine smiled happy that her daughter was away from Adrian and all the other Moroi men. While Adrian pouted sad that his chat with Rose would not be finished,
not really sure where I was going. I headed out toward the back of the lodge, away from all the activity. The hall eventually ended, but a door leading to some stairs sat on the left. The door was unlocked, so I followed the stairs upward to another door. To my pleasure, it opened up onto a small rooftop deck that didn't appear to see much use. A blanket of snow lay over it all, but it was early morning out here, and the sun shone brightly, making everything glitter.
"That sounds pretty," Paul smiled at his mom
"And peaceful," Dimitri said with a small smile.
I brushed snow off of a large, box-like object that looked to be part of the ventilation system. Heedless of my dress, I sat down on it.
"Well now she's not worried about the dress," Ivan chuckled.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I stared off, taking in the view and the sun I rarely got to enjoy. I was startled when the door opened a few minutes later. When I looked back I was even more startled still to see Dimitri emerge.
"But of course, it is," Mason shook his head, wondering how Dimitri always seemed to be there when Rose needed him.
My heart gave a small flutter, and I turned away, unsure what to think. His boots crunched in the snow as he walked over to where I was sitting. A moment later, he took off his long coat and draped it over my shoulders.
"Good boy," Ivan smiled patting Dimitri's back. Dimitri rolled his eyes at Ivan but he had a small smile on his face.
He sat down beside me. "You must be freezing." I was, but I didn't want to admit it. "The sun's out." He tipped his head back, looking up at the perfect blue sky. I knew he missed the sun as much as I did sometimes. "It is. But we're still on a mountain in the middle of winter."
"Stop being so logical all the time," Sonja shook her head.
I didn't answer. We sat there in a comfortable silence for a while. Occasionally, a light wind blew clouds of snow around. It was night for Moroi, and most would be going to bed soon, so the ski runs were quiet. "My life is a disaster," I finally said. "It's not a disaster," he said automatically. "Did you follow me from the party?"
"No he just happened to know exactly where you were and came running," Eddie chuckled, he loved Rose but sometimes he really wondered about her thought process.
"Yes." "I didn't even know you were there." His dark clothes indicated he must have been on guardian duty at the party. "So you saw the illustrious Janine cause a commotion by dragging me out." "It wasn't a commotion. Hardly anyone noticed. I saw because I was watching you."
"Why doesn't that sound creepy? It should sound creepy but it doesn't" Oksana shook her head, not understanding.
"Because Dimka can't be creepy. It's not something he's capable of doing," Olena smiled, proud of her son.
I refused to let myself get excited over that. "That's not what she said," I told him. "I might as well have been working a corner as far as she was concerned." I relayed the conversation from the hallway. "She's just worried about you," Dimitri said when I finished.
"Thank you," Janine nodded at Dimitri.
"She overreacted." "Sometimes mothers are overprotective." I stared at him.
"You would know," Ivan smiled at Dimitri before looking at Olena who was looking at her daughters.
"Yeah, but this is my mother. And she didn't seem that protective, really. I think she was more worried I'd embarrass her or something. And all that becoming-a-mother-too-young stuff was stupid. I'm not going to do anything like that." "Maybe she wasn't talking about you," he said.
Everyone looked shocked at Janine who was focusing only on the book. She was not in the mood to explain and she had a feeling the book will.
More silence. My jaw fell open. You don't have the life experience for it -you haven't even lived your own life yet. You won't be able to do the kind of job you wish you could. My mom had been twenty when I was born. Growing up, that had always seemed really old to me. But now...that was only a few years off for me. Not old at all. Did she think she'd had me too soon? Had she done a shoddy job raising me simply because she didn't know any better at the time? Did she regret the way things had turned out between us? And was it... was it maybe possible that she'd had some personal experience of her own with Moroi men and people spreading rumors about her?
Abe smiled sadly at Janine before pulling her into his arms. He kissed her head and promised her that he would fix everything once the books were over. Olena looked at her wondering how she had not seen it earlier, Karolina had Paul young but she had her mother to help her, while Janine was all alone.
I had inherited a lot of her features. I mean, I'd even noticed tonight what a nice figure she had. She had a pretty face, too -for a nearly forty-year-old, I mean. She'd probably been really, really good-looking when she was younger
"The most beautiful woman I had ever seen," Abe whispered to Janine.
... I sighed. I didn't want to think about that. If I did, I might have to reevaluate my relationship with her –maybe even acknowledge my mother as a real person-and I already had too many relationships stressing me.
"That is true. She needs a break," Ivan said wishing he could just scoop Rose up and lock her and Dimitri alone in a room for a long time. While Dimitri wished he could just hug Rose.
Lissa always worried me, even though she seemed to be okay for a change. My so-called romance with Mason was in shambles.
"Amen for that," Ivan and Dmitri said at the same time, while Mason just hung his head still sad about that.
And then, of course, there was Dimitri... "We aren't fighting right now." I blurted out. He gave me a sidelong look. "Do you want to fight?"
"You better not," Ivan threatened Dimitri holding up one finger.
"No. I hate fighting with you. Verbally, I mean. I don't mind in the gym." I thought I detected the hint of a smile. Always a half-smile for me. Rarely a full one.
"He rarely gives anyone a full smile," Victoria teased her brother.
"I don't like fighting with you either." Sitting next to him there, I marveled at the warm and happy emotions springing up inside of me. There was something about being around him that felt so good, that moved me in a way Mason couldn't. You can't force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there, you've got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love.
Everyone smiled at that, the room seemed to grow a little warmer.
The next words that came out of my mouth astonished me, both because they were completely unselfish and because I actually meant them.
"She better not be talking about what I think she is," Ivan narrowed his eyes at the book. Everyone else was just confused.
"You should take it." He flinched. "What?" "Tasha's offer. You should take her up on it. It's a really great chance."
"Hell no. you are not taking the offer," Ivan glared at Dimitri. Everyone was shocked again they never thought Rose would tell Dimitri to take the offer and leave.
I remembered my mom's words about being ready for children. I wasn't. Maybe she hadn't been. But Tasha was. And I knew Dimitri was too. They got along really well. He could go be her guardian, have some kids with her ... it would be a good deal for both of them.
"No Roza," Dimitri whispered under his breath. He didn't want to leave his Roza for Tasha even if he could have children with her. He didn't care about kids as long as he had Roza he would be happy.
"I never expected to hear you say anything like that," he told me, voice tight. "Especially after -" "What a bitch I've been? Yeah." I tugged his coat tighter against the cold. It smelled like him. It was intoxicating, and I could half-imagine being wrapped in his embrace.
"In a way she was," Karolina said thinking about how Dimitri was always wearing that coat, so the coat was almost like a second skin to him.
Adrian might have been onto something about the power of scent. "Well. Like I said, I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want us to hate each other. And...well ..." I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them. "No matter how I feel about us ... I want you to be happy." Silence yet again. I noticed then that my chest hurt.
"Comfort her, you idiot," Ivan hit Dimitri over the head,
"Give me the chance," Dimitri said rubbing his head, glaring at Ivan who was readying to hit him again.
Dimitri reached out and put his arm around me. He pulled me to him, and I rested my head on his chest. "Roza," was all he said. It was the first time he'd really touched me since the night of the lust charm.
Ivan nodded pleased.
The practice room had been something different ... more animal. This wasn't even about sex. It was just about being close to someone you cared about, about the emotion that kind of connection flooded you with. Dimitri might run off with Tasha, but I would still love him. I would probably always love him.
Dimitri, Ivan, Alberta, Abe and Olena smiled at that pleased. Adrian didn't know how to feel, Janine just wanted Rose to be a kid and Mason was just sad.
I cared about Mason. But I would probably never love him. I sighed into Dimitri, just wishing I could stay like that forever. It felt right being with him. And -no matter how much the thought of him and Tasha made me ache-doing what was best for him felt right. Now, I knew, it was time to stop being a coward and do something else that was right. Mason had said I needed to learn something about myself. I just had.
"Time to put Mason out of his misery," Eddie comforted Mason. Mason knew this was coming, he just wished that it had not taken Rose so long to figure it out.
Reluctantly, I pulled away and handed Dimitri his coat. I stood up. He regarded me curiously, sensing my unease. "Where you going?" he asked. "To break someone's heart," I replied. I admired Dimitri for a heartbeat more -the dark, knowing eyes and silken hair. Then I headed inside. I had to apologize to Mason...and tell him there'd never be anything between us.
"Done," Yeva smiled closing the book.
"Dinner time," Victoria cheered jumping up.