Sonja took the book from Karolina.
"This should be a fun chapter," Mark said sarcastically. Everyone knew that Rose had seen a ghost and understood why she had frozen, so none of them was eager to see her in trouble for something she couldn't explain.
Five
MOST DISCIPLINARY ISSUES AT the Academy went to Headmistress Kirova.
"Please tell me she is not going to her for what had happened," Mason asked Alberta who shook her head.
"No the trials are guardian business, she will be dealt with by the guardians," Alberta explained.
She oversaw Moroi and dhampirs alike and was known for her creative and often used repertoire of punishments. She wasn't cruel, exactly, but she wasn't soft, either. She simply took student behavior seriously and dealt with it as she saw fit.
"Again I will say imposter," Eddie shook his head
"Agree, there isn't a world where Rose would say that about Kirova," Mason agreed.
"Well, she didn't say it she thought it," Ivan pointed out.
There were some issues, however, that were beyond her jurisdiction. The school's guardians calling together a disciplinary committee wasn't unheard of, but it was very, very rare. You had to do something pretty serious to piss them off to get that sort of response.
Alberta nodded trying to think about the last time they had to discipline a student.
Like, say, willfully endangering a Moroi. Or hypothetically willfully endangering a Moroi. "For the last time," I growled, "I didn't do it on purpose." I sat in one of the guardians' meeting rooms, facing my committee: Alberta, Emil, and one of the other rare female guardians on campus, Celeste.
"I wonder why Dimka isn't there. As he's her mentor." Victoria asked
"he is there just not on the committee," Alberta explained.
They sat at a long table, looking imposing, while I sat in a single chair and felt very vulnerable. Several other guardians were sitting in and watching, but thankfully, none of my classmates were there to see this humiliation. Dimitri was among the watchers. He was not on the committee, and I wondered if they'd kept him off because of his potentially biased role as my mentor.
"Most defiantly," Alberta and Janine said at the same time.
"Miss Hathaway," said Alberta, fully in her strict-captain mode, "you must know why we have a hard time believing that." Celeste nodded. "Guardian Alto saw you. You refused to protect two Moroi—including the one whose protection you were specifically assigned to." "I didn't refuse!" I exclaimed. "I… fumbled." "That wasn't a fumble," said Stan from the watchers. He glanced at Alberta for permission to speak.
"Oh this is not going to end well," Abe said. They all had hoped that Rose and Stan's relationship would have gotten better. But that didn't seem to be the case.
"May I?" She nodded, and he turned back to me. "If you'd blocked or attacked me and then messed up, that would be a fumble. But you didn't block. You didn't attack. You didn't even try. You just stood there like a statue and did nothing." Understandably, I was outraged. The thought that I would purposely leave Christian and Brandon to be "killed" by a Strigoi was ridiculous. But what could I do? I either confessed to screwing up majorly or to having seen a ghost.
"Both are a horrible idea," Dimitri nodded wondered which one would make them angrier.
Neither option was appealing, but I had to cut my losses. One made me look incompetent. The other made me look insane.
"In that case, option one was better," Abe agreed.
I didn't want to be associated with either of those. I much preferred my usual description of "reckless" and "disruptive." "Why am I getting in trouble for messing up?" I asked tightly. "I mean, I saw Ryan mess up earlier. He didn't get in trouble. Isn't that the point of this whole exercise? Practice? If we were perfect, you'd already have unleashed us upon the world!"
"Well Ryan did try, he didn't just stand there" Dimitri rubbed his neck worried. He hoped that Rose would be able to bounce back.
"Weren't you listening?" said Stan. I swore I could see a vein throbbing in his forehead. I think he was the only one there as upset as I was. At the very least, he was the only one (aside from me) showing his emotions. The others wore poker faces, but then, none of them had witnessed what had happened. If I'd been in Stan's place, I might have thought the worst of me too. "You didn't mess up, because 'messing up' implies that you have to actually do something." "Okay, then. I froze." I looked at him defiantly. "Does that count as messing up? I cracked under the pressure and blanked out. It turns out I wasn't prepared. The moment came, and I panicked. It happens to novices all the time."
"Yeah that is not going to work," Dimitri shook his head,
"Why?" Adrian asked,
"Because she had already killed 2 strigoi's," Janine said worried for Rose. Stan was not going to let this go and he wanted to know why Rose had frozen.
"To a novice who has already killed Strigoi?" asked Emil. He was from Romania, his accent a bit thicker than Dimitri's Russian one. It wasn't nearly as nice, though. "It seems unlikely." I dealt out glares to him and everyone else in the room. "Oh, I see. After one incident, I'm now expected to be an expert Strigoi killer? I can't panic or be afraid or anything? Makes sense. Thanks, guys. Fair. Real fair." I slumped back in my seat, arms crossed over my chest.
"That would have worked had she not freaked out that morning," Ivan explained.
There was no need to fake bitchy defiance. I had plenty of it to dish out. Alberta sighed and leaned forward. "We're arguing semantics. Technicalities aren't the point here. What's important is that this morning, you made it very clear you did not want to guard Christian Ozera.
Ivan held up his hand in a like I told you so manner.
In fact … I think you even said you wanted us to be sure we knew that you were doing it against your will and that we'd soon see what a horrible idea it was." Ugh. I had said that. Honestly, what had I been thinking?
"Well, she clearly had not been thinking," Olena shook her head. She wanted rose out of this situation, the poor girl was under enough stress as it was.
"And then, when your first test comes around, we find you completely and utterly unresponsive." I nearly flew out of my chair. "That's what this is about? You think I didn't protect him because of some kind of weird revenge thing?" All three of them stared at me expectantly. "You aren't exactly known for calmly and gracefully accepting things you don't like," she replied wryly.
"I hate the fact that that is so true," Abe shook his head smiling guiltily. He knew Rose had gotten that from him.
This time, I did stand up, pointing my finger at her accusingly. "Not true. I have followed every rule Kirova laid down for me since coming back here. I've gone to every practice and obeyed every curfew." Well, I'd fudged some of the curfews but not willfully. It had always been for the greater good. "There's no reason I'd do this as some kind of revenge! What good would it do? Sta— Guardian Alto wasn't going to really hurt Christian, so it's not like I'd get to see him punched or anything. The only thing I would accomplish is getting dragged into the middle of something like this and possibly facing removal from the field experience."
"Please don't let her try to punch one of us," Alberta hoped. That would not be good for Rose.
"You are facing removal from the field experience," replied Celeste flatly. "Oh." I sat down, suddenly not feeling as bold. Silence hung in the room for several moments, and then I heard Dimitri's voice speak from behind me. "She has a point," he said.
"Of course he would save her," Adrian pouted while Abe and Janine nodded in thanks to Dimitri. Dimitri was just glad that he had said anything.
"Smart move," Ivan and Alberta said for two very different reasons.
My heart thumped loudly in my chest. Dimitri knew I wouldn't take revenge like that. He didn't think I was petty.
"Oh she's most defiantly petty," Dimitri and Ivan said at the same time.
"If she were going to protest or take revenge, she'd do it in a different way." Well, not too petty, at least. Celeste frowned. "Yes, but after the scene, she made this morning…" Dimitri took a few steps forward and stood beside my chair. Having his solid presence nearby comforted me.
Olena and Oksana smiled at Dimitri. Both of them were happy at the idea that he had found someone.
I had a flash of déjà vu, back to when Lissa and I had returned to the Academy last autumn. Headmistress Kirova had nearly expelled me, and Dimitri had stood up for me then too. "This is all circumstantial," he said. "Regardless of how suspicious you think it looks, there's no proof. Removing her from the experience—and essentially ruining her graduation—is a bit extreme without any certainties."
"Thank you," Abe and Janine thanked Dimitri who blushed and nodded his head at them, not knowing what to say.
"Well he is right," Alberta nodded at Dimitri.
The committee looked thoughtful, and I focused my attention on Alberta. She had the most power here. I'd always liked her, and in our time together, she'd been strict but always scrupulously fair.
Alberta felt flattered.
I hoped that would still hold true. She beckoned Celeste and Emil toward her, and the other two guardians leaned closer. They had a whispered conference. Alberta gave a resigned nod, and the others leaned back. "Miss Hathaway, do you have anything you'd like to say before we tell you our conclusions?" That I'd like to say? Hell, yeah.
"No, now would be a good time to stay quiet," Dimitri hoped that Roza would.
There were tons of things. I wanted to say that I wasn't incompetent. I wanted to tell them that I was one of the best novices here. I wanted to tell them that I had seen Stan coming and had been on the verge of reacting. I especially wanted to tell them that I didn't want to have this mark on my record. Even if I stayed in the field experience, I'd essentially have an F for this first test. It would affect my overall grade, which could subsequently affect my future.
"Na she shouldn't worry that much. We all know she's going to be paired off with Lissa," Mason rolled his eyes.
But again, what choice did I have? Tell them that I'd seen a ghost?
"I wonder what would happen if she did tell them," Victoria mussed.
"We would send her to a therapist and rethink her satiation," Alberta said looking at the book worried. She hoped that this doesn't happen in the book.
The ghost of a guy who'd had a major crush on me and who had quite likely died because of that crush? I still didn't know what was going on with these sightings. One time I could write off to exhaustion…but I'd seen him—or it—twice now. Was he real? My higher reasoning said no, but honestly, it didn't matter at the moment. If he was real and I told them, they'd think I was crazy. If he wasn't real and I told them, they'd think I was crazy—and they'd be right. I couldn't win here.
Everyone relaxed. Pleased that Rose was not going to make it harder for herself.
"No, Guardian Petrov," I said, hoping I sounded meek. "Nothing more to add." "All right," she said wearily. "Here's what we've decided. You're lucky you have Guardian Belikov to advocate for you, or this decision might have been different. We're giving you the benefit of the doubt. You'll go on with the field experience and continue to guard Mr. Ozera. You'll just be on a probation of sorts."
"That's not bad," Abe was relieved, Rose didn't need any more handicaps against her
"That's okay," I said. I'd been on probation for most of my academic life. "Thank you." "And," she added. Uh-oh. "Because the suspicion isn't entirely removed, you'll be spending your day off this week doing community service."
Janine and Alberta laughed, Rose really couldn't get a break. She should really have seen this coming.
I jumped out of my chair again. "What?" Dimitri's hand wrapped around my wrist, his fingers warm and controlling. "Sit down," he murmured in my ear, tugging me toward the chair. "Take what you can get."
"Agreed," Ivan and Dimitri chuckled. They really hoped that Rose would never change.
"If that's a problem, we can make it next week too," warned Celeste. "And the next five after that." I sat down and shook my head. "I'm sorry. Thank you." The hearing dispersed, and I was left feeling weary and beaten. Had only one day gone by? Surely the happy excitement I'd felt before the field experience had been weeks ago and not this morning. Alberta told me to go find Christian, but Dimitri asked if he could have some time alone with me.
"Now she's in trouble," Sonja smiled sheepishly at her brother. All the Belikova's knew that Dimitri was going to try and get the truth out of her.
She agreed, no doubt hoping he'd set me on the straight and narrow. The room emptied, and I thought he'd sit and talk to me then and there, but instead he walked over to a small table that held a water dispenser, coffee, and other beverages. "You want some hot chocolate?" he asked. I hadn't expected that.
"Such a sweet boy," Olena smiled, proud of her son.
"Sweeting her up is not going to make her tell you what happened," Ivan pointed out.
"Hey it wouldn't hurt to try," Dimitri replied.
"Sure." He dumped four packets of instant hot chocolate into two Styrofoam cups and then added in hot water. "Doubling it is the secret," he said when the cups were full.
Dimitri's sister looked at him betrayal clear in their eyes. He had never told them that and now he was telling his soon to be girlfriend, so not fair!
He handed me mine, along with a wooden stirrer, and then walked toward a side door. Presuming I was supposed to follow him, I scurried to catch up without spilling my hot chocolate. "Where are we—oh." I stepped through the doorway and found myself in a little glass-enclosed porch filled with small patio tables. I'd had no idea this porch was adjacent to the meeting room, but then, this was the building the guardians conducted all campus business out of.
"How would she know? The novices were hardly allowed in there," Janine shook her head at Mason and Eddie who looked just as confused.
Novices were rarely allowed. I also hadn't realized the building was built around a small courtyard, which was what this porch looked out to. In the summer, I imagined one could open the windows and be surrounded in greenery and warm air. Now, encased in glass and frost, I felt like I was in some kind of an ice palace. Dimitri swept his hand over a chair, brushing off dust. I did the same and sat down opposite him. Apparently this room didn't see a lot of use in the winter.
"Not everyone likes the cold," Adrian added.
Because it was enclosed, the room was warmer than outdoors, but it wasn't heated otherwise. The air felt chilly, and I warmed my hands on my cup. Silence fell between Dimitri and me. The only noise came from me blowing on my hot chocolate. He drank his right away. He'd been killing Strigoi for years. What was a little scalding water here and there?
Ivan wanted to say something but he choose not to. Dimitri was already glaring at him.
"It wasn't anything bad,"
"Sure," Dimitri hummed.
As we sat, and the quiet grew, I studied him over the edge of my cup. He wasn't looking at me, but I knew he knew I was watching. Like every other time I looked at him, I was always struck by his looks first. The soft dark hair that he often tucked behind his ears without realizing it, hair that never quite wanted to stay in its tie at the back of his neck. His eyes were brown too, somehow gentle and fierce at the same time. His lips had that same contradictory quality, I realized. When he was fighting or dealing with something grim, those lips would flatten and turn hard. But in lighter times … when he laughed or kissed…well, then they'd become soft and wonderful.
"Okay, these are things I do not want to know so see," Sonja glared at the book in her hands.
"You sure you still hold any chances?' Christian asked Adrian smugly.
"We shall see,"
Today, more than his exterior hit me. I felt warm and safe just being with him. He brought comfort after my terrible day. So often with other people, I felt a need to be the center of attention, to be funny and always have something clever to say. It was a habit I needed to shake to be a guardian, seeing as that job required so much silence.
"It's not so bad habit as long as it was under control," Dimitri thought about how he was around his friends and family and how he was when he was on the job.
But with Dimitri, I never felt like I had to be anything more than what I already was. I didn't have to entertain him or think up jokes or even flirt. It was enough to just be together, to be so completely comfortable in each other's presence—smoldering sexual tension aside—that we lost all sense of self-consciousness.
Olena smiled so pleased that her son had found someone like Rose.
I exhaled and drank my cocoa. "What happened out there?" he asked at last, meeting my gaze. "You didn't crack under the pressure." His voice was curious, not accusatory. He wasn't treating me as a student right now, I realized. He was regarding me as an equal.
"Sure that was what he was seeing her as," Christian smirked. Dimitri just looked at him and lifted one eyebrow in question. Christian backed down and whispered sorry.
He simply wanted to know what was going on with me. There was no discipline or lecturing here. And that just made it all the worse when I had to lie to him. "Of course it was," I told him, looking down into my cup. "Unless you believe I really did let Stan 'attack' Christian." "No," he said. "I don't believe that. I never did. I knew you'd be unhappy when you found out about the assignments, but I never once doubted that you'd do what you'd have to for this. I knew you wouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way of your duty."
"So sweet talking about duty and doing the right thing no matter your feelings," Mark chuckled at Dimitri.
"Not fair," Dimitri glared half hardily at Mark.
I looked up again and met his eyes, so full of faith and absolute confidence in me. "I didn't. I was mad…Still am a little. But once I said I'd do it, I meant it. And after spending some time with him…well, I don't hate him. I actually think he's good for Lissa, and he cares about her, so I can't get upset about that. He and I just cash sometimes, that's all…
"Okay, we all know she lying right now. These two enjoy spending time together they are just too stubborn to admit it," Mason said pointing to Christian than to the book. Christian wanted to protest but he couldn't.
but we did really well together against the Strigoi. I remembered that while I was with him today, and arguing against this assignment just seemed stupid. So I decided to do the best job I could." I hadn't meant to talk so much, but it felt good to let out what was inside of me, and the look on Dimitri's face would have gotten me to say anything.
"She needs someone to talk to," Karolina said sadly
"She needs to talk to Lissa." Mason and Eddie supplied.
Almost anything. "What happened then?" he asked. "With Stan?" I averted my eyes and played with my cup again. I hated keeping things from him, but I couldn't tell him about this. In the human world, vampires and dhampirs were creatures of myth and legend—bedtime stories to scare children. Humans didn't know we were real and walking the earth.
"Well clearly some of them knew," Abe said thinking about the previous book and what had happened.
"Would you have believed her had she told you about seeing a ghost?" Janine asked Dimitri
"I don't know," Dimitri was honest.
But just because we were real didn't mean that every other story-time paranormal creature was.
"Well anything is possible," Ivan added.
We knew that and had our own myths and bedtime stories about things we didn't believe in. Werewolves. Bogeymen. Ghosts. Ghosts played no real role in our culture, short of being fodder for pranks and campfire tales. Ghosts inevitably came up on Halloween, and some legends endured over the years. But in real life? No ghosts. If you came back after death, it was because you were a Strigoi.
"Well we were clearly wrong about that," Abe was worried about all the other things that could be real as well.
At least, that's what I'd always been taught. I honestly didn't know enough now to say what was going on. Me imagining Mason seemed more likely than him being a true ghost, but man, that meant I might seriously be heading into crazy territory. All this time I'd worried about Lissa losing it. Who had known it might be me?
Well she did go through a traumatizing situation and she didn't really talk to anyone about it so that is possible," Oksana was worried, she and Mark had each other and both gave as well as they got. Where Lissa and Rose weren't the same, Rose wanted to protect Lissa from everything even the truth.
Dimitri was still watching me, waiting for an answer. "I don't know what happened out there. My intentions were good … I just… I just messed up." "Rose. You're a terrible liar."
"No you can only read her like an actual book," Mason was jealous of that fact.
I glanced up. "No, I'm not. I've told a lot of good lies in my life. People have believed them." He smiled slightly. "I'm sure. But it doesn't work with me. For one thing, you won't look me in the eye. As for the other… I don't know. I can just tell."
"Sure keep all your secrets," Eddie pouted.
Damn. He could tell. He just knew me that well. I stood up and moved to the door, keeping my back to him. Normally, I treasured every minute with him, but I couldn't stick around today. I hated lying, but I didn't want to tell the truth either. I had to leave. "Look, I appreciate you being worried about me…but really, it's okay. I just messed up. I'm embarrassed about it— and sorry I put your awesome training to shame—but I'll rebound. Next time, Stan's ass is mine."
"Stan should be worried, she's out for blood now," Ivan chuckled darkly.
I hadn't even heard him get up, but suddenly, Dimitri was right behind me. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and I froze in front of the door leading out. He didn't touch me anywhere else. He didn't try to pull me closer. But, oh, that one hand on my shoulder held all the power in the world. "Rose," he said, and I knew he was no longer smiling. "I don't know why you're lying, but I know you wouldn't do it without a good reason. And if there's something wrong— something you're afraid to tell the others—"
"Oh you fucked up there," Mason winced
"Never tell Rose she's afraid of something when she is clearly afraid of something," Eddie explained.
I spun around rapidly, somehow managing to pivot in place in such a way that his hand never moved yet ended up on my other shoulder. "I'm not afraid," I cried.
"Yes you are," Eddie added.
"I do have my reasons, and believe me, what happened with Stan was nothing. Really. All of this is just something stupid that got blown out of proportion. Don't feel sorry for me or feel like you have to do anything. What happened sucks, but I'll just roll with it and take the black mark. I'll take care of everything. I'll take care of me."
"But she doesn't need to do it all alone," Dimitri whispered,
"We'll help her," Ivan promised Dimitri.
It took all of my strength just then not to shake. How had this day gotten so bizarre and out of control? Dimitri didn't say anything. He just looked down at me, and the expression on his face was one I'd never seen before. I couldn't interpret it. Was he mad? Disapproving? I just couldn't tell.
"Worried," Karolina said looking at Dimitri.
The fingers on my shoulder tightened slightly and then relaxed. "You don't have to do this alone," he said at last. He sounded almost wistful, which made no sense. He was the one who'd been telling me for so long that I needed to be strong.
"No one can be strong all the time," Abe added wishing he could hug his daughter.
I wanted to throw myself into his arms just then, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't help a smile. "You say that…but tell me the truth. Do you go running to others when you have problems?" "That's the not the same—"
"Yes, it is," Karolina and Ivan said at the same time,
"Sorry but it's not. I don't see ghosts," Dimitri defended himself,
"Are you really going to use that as a defence?" Victoria asked him.
"Yes," Was all he said,
"Answer the question, comrade." "Don't call me that." "And don't avoid the question either." "No," he said. "I try to deal with my problems on my own." I slipped away from his hand. "See?" "But you have a lot of people in your life you can trust, people who care about you. That changes things."
"You have people who care about you too," Sonja looked about ready to throw the book at him.
I looked at him in surprise. "You don't have people who care about you?" He frowned, obviously rethinking his words. "Well, I've always had good people in my life…and there have been people who cared about me. But that doesn't necessarily mean I could trust them or tell them everything."
"Oh you're digging yourself a very deep hole," Ivan pitied his friend.
I was often so distracted by the weirdness of our relationship that I rarely thought about Dimitri as someone with a life away from me. He was respected by everyone on campus. Teachers and students alike knew him as one of the deadliest guardians here. Whenever we ran into guardians from outside the school, they always seemed to know and respect him too. But I couldn't recall ever having seen him in any sort of social setting.
"Well I'm his only friend and he rarely visits home," Ivan explained just adding wood to the fire.
"Can you please stop before they kill me," Dimitri asked Ivan as his family glared at him.
He didn't appear to have any close friends among the other guardians—just coworkers he liked. The friendliest I'd ever seen him get with someone had been when Christian's aunt, Tasha Ozera,
"Not her, she doesn't count," Ivan glared at the book.
visited. They'd known each other for a long time, but even that hadn't been enough for Dimitri to pursue once her visit was over.
"That was not the reason," Dimitri shook his head.
Dimitri was alone an awful lot, I realized, content to hole up with his cowboy novels when not working. I felt alone a lot, but in truth, I was almost always surrounded by people. With him being my teacher, I tended to view things as one-sided: He was the one always giving me something, be it advice or instruction.
"Don't like that sentence," Abe was worried about what might happen in this book. Dimitri hoped that nothing happened at all. If anything happened he hoped she was legal.
But I gave him something too, something harder to define—a connection with another person.
"Okay that is not so bad," Abe and Dimitri relaxed.
"Do you trust me?" I asked him. The hesitation was brief. "Yes." "Then trust me now, and don't worry about me just this once." I stepped away, out of the reach of his arm, and he didn't say anything more or try to stop me.
"You should have pushed her to tell you or Lissa," Mark told Dimitri who was just glad that nothing bad had happened.
Cutting through the room that I'd had the hearing in, I headed for the building's main exit, tossing the remnants of my hot chocolate in a garbage can as I walked past.
"Done," Sonja closed the book relieved.
"Food time," Karolina announced.
~~~~
Everyone took their seats feeling better with their belly's full. Paul moved over to Ivan and all but claimed his lap. Karolina looked worriedly at Paul before looking at Ivan. She was scared that Paul was annoying Ivan, but to her shock Ivan just smiled down at Paul before making himself comfortable.
Victoria picked up the book and opened it.
Six
THERE HAD ONLY BEEN THREE other witnesses to what had happened out on the quad. Yet, unsurprisingly, everyone seemed to know about it when I returned to the commons later on.
"We gotta love this school," Sonja shook her head,
Classes were done, but plenty of students moved about in the corridors, off to study or retake tests or whatever. They tried to hide their glances and whispers, but they didn't do a very good job.
"Teens never do," Ivan chuckled amazed that the kids had not figured out that Rose had feelings for Dimitri.
Those who made eye contact with me either gave me tight-lipped smiles or immediately looked away. Wonderful. With no psychic link to Christian, I had no clue where to find him.
"Probably by Lissa," Everyone said at the same time.
I could sense that Lissa was in the library and figured that would be a good place to start looking. On my way there, I heard a guy's voice call out behind me. "Took things a bit far, didn't you?" I turned around and saw Ryan and Camille walking several steps back.
"Poor Ryan," Mason and Eddie shook his head.
If I'd been a guy, the appropriate response would have been, "You mean with your mom?" Because I was not a guy, though, and because I had manners,
"Had manners some times," Dimitri shook his head.
"Well at least she's not trying to start a fight, so..." Janine added
I just said, "Don't know what you're talking about." Ryan hurried to catch up with me. "You know exactly what I mean. With Christian. I heard that when Stan attacked, you were just like, 'Here, take him,' and walked away."
"Oh he's asking for it," Eddie shook his head. He just hoped that Rose didn't get into any trouble for decking Ryan.
"Oh good God," I groaned. It was bad enough when everyone was talking about you, but why did the stories always end up changing? "That is not what happened." "Oh yeah?" he asked. "Then why did you get called in to see Alberta?" "Look," I said, not feeling so well mannered anymore,
"Well that did not last long," Ivan chuckled at Paul who smiled up at him agreeing.
"I just messed up the attack…you know, kind of like you did earlier when you weren't paying attention in the hall?" "Hey," he said, flushing slightly. "I ended up getting in on that—I did my part." "Is that what they're calling getting killed nowadays?" "At least I wasn't a whiny bitch who refused to fight."
"Not good," everyone thought at the same time. Both Dimitri and Abe had to remind themselves that they can't go and beat-up a teenager.
I had just about calmed down after speaking with Dimitri, but now my temper was rising already. It was like a thermometer ready to burst. "You know, maybe instead of criticizing others, you should pay more attention to your own guardian duties." I nodded toward Camille. She had thus far been quiet, but her face showed me she was eating all of this up.
"typical Moroi's," Eddie smirked at Adrian and Christian. Adrian and Christian in turn just glared at him.
Ryan shrugged. "I can do both. Shane's farther behind us, and the area ahead is clear. No doors. Easy." He patted Camille's shoulder. "She's safe." "It's an easy place to secure. You wouldn't do so well in the real world with real Strigoi."
"Sadly," Alberta acknowledged,
His smile faded. Anger glinted in his eyes. "Right. The way I hear it, you didn't do such a great job out there either, at least not as far as Mason was concerned."
"Oh no he didn't," Mason was ready to go and kick his ass.
Taunting over what had happened with Stan and Christian was one thing. But implying that I was at fault for Mason's death? Unacceptable. I was the one who'd kept Lissa safe for two years in the human world. I was the one who had killed two Strigoi in Spokane. I was the only novice at this school with molnija marks, the little tattoos given to guardians to mark Strigoi kills.
"Yes you are," Janine smiled proudly. Dimitri smiled, he couldn't describe what he was feeling, but he knew that Rose was going to make his life very interesting and difficult at the same time. And he couldn't wait.
I'd known there had been some whispers about what had happened to Mason, but no one had ever actually said anything to me. The thought of Ryan or anyone else thinking I was to blame for Mason dying was too much. I blamed myself plenty enough already without their help.
"Oh Rosie," Christian whispered, he wished at that moment that he could hug her. But don't you dare tell anyone that.
The thermometer broke. In one smooth motion, I reached past him, grabbed Camille, and swung her up against the wall. I hadn't thrown her hard enough to hurt her,
Alberta relaxed, she was worried for a second that Rose would attack Ryan.
but she was clearly startled. Her eyes widened in shock, and I used my forearm to pin her, pressing it against her throat. "What are you doing?" exclaimed Ryan,
"Furthering your education," Abe smirked evilly, making Victoria laugh softly.
peering back and forth between our faces. I shifted my stance slightly, still keeping the pressure on Camille. "Furthering your education," I said pleasantly.
That got a few smiled out of everyone.
"Sometimes places aren't as easy to secure as you think." "You're crazy! You can't hurt a Moroi. If the guardians find out—"
"She's not hurting her. If she was Camille would have cried out," Ivan reassured Paul, who was worried that Rose would accidently hurrt the girl and get into more trouble.
"I'm not," I argued. I glanced toward her. "Am I hurting you? Are you in extreme pain?" There was a hesitation; then she gave as much of a shake of her head as she could manage. "Are you uncomfortable?" A small nod. "See?" I told Ryan. "Discomfort isn't the same thing as pain." "You're insane. Let her go."
"Not going to happen, Rose is first going to give him a piece of her mind," Alberta shook her head.
"I'm not done, Ry. Pay attention because here's the point: Danger can come from anywhere. Not just Strigoi—or guardians dressed up like Strigoi. Keep acting like an arrogant asshole who thinks he knows everything"—I pressed my arm in a little harder, still not enough to affect her breathing or cause real pain—"and you miss things. And those things can kill your Moroi."
"She's not wrong, I just wish that she didn't have to be the one to teach him that," Dimitri was worried that one of the guardians would walk in and she would get into more trouble.
"Okay, okay. Whatever. Please, stop it," he said. His voice wavered. There was no more attitude. "You're scaring her." "I'd be scared too, if my life was in your hands."
"Very true," Mason and Eddie agreed. Alberta shook her head, she was going to have to increase the novice's training.
The scent of cloves alerted me to Adrian's presence. I also knew that Shane and a few others had come to watch. The other novices looked uncertain, like they wanted to pry me off but were afraid of getting Camille hurt.
"Oh they were mostly defiantly not scared of hurting Camille," Ivan chuckled, he had a feeling that the kids were more afraid of Rose then they were letting on.
I knew I should let her go, but Ryan had just made me so angry. I needed to prove a point to him. I needed to get him back. And really, I didn't even feel sorry for Camille either since I was sure she'd done her fair share of gossiping about me too.
"What the hell Rose?" Janine asked worriedly
"The darkness is starting to take over. It's going to be get harder for her to control her emotions," Mark explained.
"This is fascinating," said Adrian, his voice as lazy as usual. "But I think you've made your point." "I don't know," I said. The tone of my voice managed to be both sweet and menacing at the same time. "I still don't think Ryan gets it."
"Get her out of there," Mark warned, he didn't want to see how long it would take Rose to snap.
"For God's sake, Rose! I get it," cried Ryan. "Just let her go." Adrian moved around me, going over to stand beside Camille. She and I were pressed close together, but he managed to squeeze in so that his face was in my line of sight, almost beside hers.
"Good, I doubt you would have been able to pull her off of her," Mark nodded, Dimitri and Abe sat forward worried, they didn't like Adrian but they didn't necessarily wanted to see Rose hurt him.
He wore that goofy smirk he normally had, but there was something serious in his dark green eyes. "Yes, little dhampir. Let her go. You're done here." I wanted to tell Adrian to get away from me, that I would be the one to say when this was finished. Somehow, I couldn't get the words out. A part of me was enraged at his interference. The other part of me thought he sounded…reasonable.
"You're compelling her?" Ivan asked not sure how he felt about that. Yes Adrian was doing it to stop Rose form hurting her, but he was still compelling her and Ivan didn't like that idea at all.
"The only why, like he," Adrian pointed at Mark, "I wouldn't be able to pull her off. So this is the only thing I could do,"
"Let her go," he repeated. My eyes were all over Adrian now, not Camille. Suddenly, all of me decided he sounded reasonable. Completely reasonable.
Mark relaxed, Adrian had thankfully defused the situation.
I needed to let her go. I moved my arm and stepped away. With a gulp, Camille darted behind Ryan, using him like a shield. I saw now that she was on the verge of tears. Ryan simply looked stunned. Adrian straightened up and made a dismissive gesture toward Ryan. "I'd get out of here—before you really annoy Rose."
"Oh he did more than annoy her," Abe was relieved that Rose had not hurt Camille and that Adrian knew well enough to get her away from them.
Ryan, Camille, and the others slowly backed off from us. Adrian put his arm around me and hurried me away toward the library. I felt weird, kind of like I was waking up, but then, with each step, things grew clearer and clearer. I pushed his arm off me and jerked away. "You just used compulsion on me!" I exclaimed.
"Well that didn't take her long to figure that out," Ivan hoped that Rose would give him hell.
"You made me let her go." "Someone needed to. You looked like you were seconds away from strangling her."
"And that is never a fun place to be with Rose," Mason and Eddie recalled they both had before been in that situation.
"You two would know," Alberta smiled at the two boys,
"I wasn't. And I wouldn't have." I pushed open the library door. "You had no right to do that to me. No right at all."
"I agree with her but thank you," Abe all but looked pained at having to say that.
Compulsion—making people do what you wanted—was a skill all vampires had to a very small degree. Using it was considered immoral, and most couldn't control it well enough to do any real damage. Spirit strengthened the ability, however, making both Adrian and Lissa very dangerous.
"Not so dangerous," Adrian smirked.
"And you had no right to tackle some poor girl in the hall just to soothe your own hurt pride." "Ryan had no right to say those things." "I don't even know what 'those things' are, but unless I've misjudged your age, you're too old to be throwing a tantrum over idle gossip."
"Oh you are an idiot," Mason laughed; he could imagine what Rose was going to do with him.
"Throwing a—" My words fell short as we reached Lissa working at a table.
"And I'm save and sound," Adrian smirked at him. Mason pouted he really wanted to see Rose kick Adrian's ass.
Her face and feelings told me trouble was coming. Eddie stood a couple feet away from her, leaning against a wall and watching the room. His eyes widened when he saw me, but he didn't say anything at my approach.
"Thank you," Eddie thanked himself. he didn't want to be on the opposite end of Rose's wrath,
I slid into the chair opposite Lissa. "Hey." She looked up and sighed, then returned her attention to the textbook open in front of her. "I wondered when you'd turn up," she said. "Did you get suspended?" Her words were calm and polite, but I could read her underlying feelings. Annoyed. Even a little angry.
"Great now we have to see them fight again," Victoria sighed,
"Not this time," I said. "Just got stuck with community service." She said nothing, but the irate mood I sensed through the bond remained unchanged. Now I sighed. "Okay, talk to me, Liss. I know you're mad." Adrian looked at me, then her, and then me again.
"Hey what are you looking for?" Christian asked looking a Adrian.
"Probably the first time book me had seem them in a fight so probably looking at their Aurora's," Adrian explained.
"I feel like I'm missing something here." "Oh, great," I said. "You went and busted up my fight and didn't even know what it was about." "Fight?" asked Lissa, confusion joining her anger.
"This is not going to end well," Eddie shuttered.
"What happened?" repeated Adrian. I nodded to Lissa. "Go ahead, tell him." "Rose got tested earlier and refused to protect Christian." She shook her head, exasperated, and fixed me with an accusatory glare. "I can't believe you're seriously still mad enough to do something like that to him. It's childish."
"Oh please she didn't do anything to me," Christian rolled his eyes,
Lissa had jumped to the same conclusions as the guardians. I sighed. "I didn't do it on purpose! I just sat through a whole hearing on this crap and told them the same thing." "Then what happened?" she demanded. "Why did you do it?" I hesitated, unsure what to say.
"Just tell her," Oksana hoped that Lissa would show Rose she could be there for her.
My reluctance to talk didn't even have anything to do with Adrian and Eddie overhearing—though I certainly didn't want them to. The problem was more complex. Dimitri had been right—there were people I could trust, and two of them I trusted unconditionally: him and Lissa.
"Now she just needed to talk with them," Mark hoped she could. It was not healthy for her to keep all her emotions and problems bubbled up.
I'd already held back from telling him the truth. Would I—could I—do the same with her? Although she was mad, I knew without a doubt that Lissa would always support me and be there for me. But just like with Dimitri, I balked at the idea of telling my ghost story. Also just like with Dimitri, it left me in the same bind: crazy or incompetent? Through our bond, I felt her mind, pure and clear. There was no taint, no darkness, or sign of madness
"Yes because all of it was in Rose," Mark was worried.
—and yet, something tingled in the background. A slight stirring. Antidepressants took a while to fully get into and out of one's system, but her magic was already waking up after one day. I thought back to my ghostly encounters, dredging up the memory of that sad, translucent Mason. How could I even begin to explain that to her? How could I bring up something as weird and fantastic as that when she'd been trying so hard to get a little normality in her life and now faced the challenge of getting her magic under control?
"She's your best friend she would understand and even if she didn't she would support her," Olena hoped that Lissa would.
No, I realized. I couldn't tell her. Not yet—especially when it suddenly occurred to me that there was still something else big I needed to let her know about. "I froze," I said finally.
"On Rosie," Ivan and Christian said at the same time.
"It's stupid. I'd been so cocky about being able to take out anyone, and then Stan …" I shrugged. "I don't know. I just couldn't react. It… it's really embarrassing. And him of all people." Lissa studied me intently, looking for any sign of dishonesty. It hurt to think that she'd mistrust me, except…well, I was actually lying. As I'd told Dimitri, though, I could be a good liar when I wanted to be. Lissa couldn't tell.
Everyone sighed; they had hoped that Lissa would be able to tell that Rose was lying.
"I wish I could read your mind," she mused.
"Oh that would have made everything easier," Christian said wistfully.
"Come on," I said. "You know me. Do you really think I'd do this? Abandon Christian and make myself look stupid on purpose just to get back at my teachers?" "No," she said finally. "You'd probably do it in a way where you wouldn't get caught."
"Well at lease you two knew that about her," Yeva shook her head, she thought that Lissa and Dimitri were doing quite poorly.
"Dimitri said the same thing," I grumbled. "I'm glad everyone has so much faith in me." "We do," she countered. "That's why all of this is so weird."
"Nothing is ever normal with those two," Alberta shook her head,
"Even I make mistakes." I put on my brash, overconfident face. "I know it's hard to believe—kind of surprises me myself
"Lissa," Ivan, Dimitri and Christian shook their heads, disappointed.
—but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to have one person so full of awesomeness." Adrian, blessedly silent for a change, was watching the two of us talk, much as one would look back and forth at a tennis match. His eyes were narrowed slightly, and I suspected he was studying our auras.
"So I probably knew she was lying," Adrian added wondering if his book counterpart would point the lie out.
Lissa rolled her eyes, but fortunately, the anger I'd felt earlier lightened. She believed me. Her gaze then lifted from my face to someone beyond me. I felt the happy, golden emotions that signaled Christian's presence.
"You better not give her hell as well," Abe warned Christian who hoped he did not.
"My loyal bodyguard returns," he declared, pulling up a chair. He glanced at Lissa. "Are you done yet?" "Done with what?" she asked. He inclined his head toward me. "Giving her a hard time about how she threw me into the deadly clutches of Alto." Lissa blushed. She was already feeling a little bad about jumping on me, now that I'd defended myself sufficiently. Christian's flippant, knowing observation just made her feel more foolish.
'Good,' Dimitri thought,
"We were just talking about it, that's all." Adrian yawned and slouched back in his chair.
"Hey you stay out of it," Ivan and Christian said at the same time.
"Actually, I think I've figured it all out. This was a scam, wasn't it? A scam to scare me off since I'm always talking about you being my guardian. You thought if you pretended to be a bad guardian, I wouldn't want you. Well, it's not going to work, so there's no point in risking anyone else's life."
"You're a real piece of work you know that," Sonja rolled her eyes at Adrian.
"well someone has to lighten the mood," he added pleased with his book counterpart.
I was grateful he didn't mention the incident in the hall. Ryan had absolutely been out of line, but as more time passed, it became harder and harder for me to believe I'd snapped like that. It was like something that had happened to someone else, something that I'd simply been watching. Of course, I seemed to be snapping over everything lately.
"Not good, lets just hope when something stressful happens someone is there to pull her back, before she hurts anyone," Mark looked at Dimitri. Mark was willing to bet that he would be the one to pull Rose back, not Lissa as Lissa seemed to be distracted by Christian and not seeing the trouble her best friend was in,
I'd been mad about getting Christian, mad about the guardians' accusation, mad about— Oh, right. It was probably time for me to drop the bomb. "So, um … there's something you guys should know." Four sets of eyes—even Eddie's—turned to me. "What's wrong?" asked Lissa. There was really no easy way to tell them, so I just pushed forward. "Well, it turns out that Victor Dashkov was never found guilty of what he did to us. He's just been locked up. But they're finally going to have an official trial—in another week or so." Lissa's reaction to hearing his name was similar to mine.
"Would it been so hard for Tatiana to simply let Lissa know that,' Abe shook his head, not impressed with her at all.
Shock shot through the bond, followed immediately by fear. A slide show of images flashed through her mind. The way Victor's sick game had made her question her sanity. The torture his henchman had subjected her to. The bloody state she'd found Christian in after he'd been attacked by Victor's hounds. She clenched her fists on the table, knuckles going white. Christian couldn't sense her reaction the way I could, but he didn't need to. He moved his hand over hers. She barely noticed. "But… but…" She took a deep, steadying breath, fighting to stay calm. "How could he not be guilty already? Everyone knows…. They all saw…."
"It's the law, he had to be given a fighting chance," Abe said with clear sarcasm. Janine just glared at him and shook her head.
"It's the law. They supposedly have to give him a fighting chance." There was confusion all over her, and slowly, she came to the same realization that I had last night with Dimitri. "So…wait… are you saying there's a chance they might not find him guilty?"
"If they did he won't get near them." Abe and Dimitri promised at the same time.
I looked into her wide, frightened eyes and couldn't bring myself to tell her. Apparently, my face said it all. Christian slammed his fist against the table. "This is bullshit." Several people at other tables glanced over at his outburst. "This is politics," said Adrian. "People in power never have to play by the same rules."
"Well that need to change," Christian glared at the book.
"But he nearly killed Rose and Christian!" cried Lissa. "And he kidnapped me! How can there be any question?" Lissa's emotions were all over the place. Fear. Sorrow. Anger. Outrage. Confusion. Helplessness. I didn't want her delving into those dark feelings and hoped desperately that she'd grow calm again. Slowly, steadily, she did—but then I started getting angry again.
"She's taking them," Mark hoped that the emotions weren't to strong. Now would not be a good time or place for Rose to snap.
It was like Ryan all over. "It's a formality, I'm sure," said Adrian. "When all the evidence is in, there probably isn't going to be much of a debate." "That's the thing," I said bitterly. "They're not going to have all the evidence. We aren't allowed to go." "What?" exclaimed Christian. "Then who's testifying?" "The other guardians who were there. We apparently can't be trusted to keep the whole thing quiet. The queen doesn't want the world to know that one of her precious royals might have done something wrong."
"Of course she does that woman…" Whatever Abe wanted to say was cut off as Janine covered his mouth. Abe glared at her before licking her palm, Janine ripping it away from him before complaining. Everyone looked at the two and tried their hardest not to smile, it was rather funny to see two of the most dangerous people in their world act like that.
Lissa didn't seem to take offense at me trashing royals. "But we're the reason he's on trial." Christian stood up, glancing around as though Victor might be in the library. "I'm going to go take care of this right now." "Sure," said Adrian. "I bet going in there and kicking down the door will change their minds. Take Rose with you, and you guys'll make a really good impression."
"You really want to get hit don't you?" Eddie asked Adrian.
"I'm not wrong,"
"Yeah?" asked Christian, clenching the back of his chair and fixing Adrian with a stormy glare. "You have a better idea?" Lissa's calmness began to waver again. "If Victor was free, would he come after us again?" "If he gets loose again, he won't stay that way for long," I said. "I'll make sure of it."
"Okay that is not happening, he's not getting anywhere near her ever again," Ivan added.
"Careful there," said Adrian. He seemed to find all of this funny. "Even you couldn't get away with a royal assassination." I started to tell him that I'd practice on him first,
"We'll help," Abe and Ivan smiled at Adrian, who was not sure if he should be worried or not.
but then Eddie's sharp voice interrupted my thoughts. "Rose." Instinct born from years of training instantly kicked into place. I looked up and immediately saw what he'd noticed. Emil had just entered the library and was scanning for novices, taking notes.
"Thank you," Abe and Janine thanked Eddie.
I shot up out of my chair, taking a position not far from Eddie that gave me a view of Christian and most of the library. Damn it. I had to get a grip, or I'd end up proving Ryan right. Between my brawl in the hall and now this Victor thing, I was completely neglecting my guardian duties. I might not even need Mason to fail this.
"Nah she's going to do the best just watch," Eddie and Mason was so sure.
Emil hadn't seen me sitting and socializing. He strolled by, glanced at us, and made a few notes before heading off to scout the rest of the library. Relieved at escaping my close call, I tried to gain control of myself. It was hard.
"It always is," Mark and Abe said at the same time.
That black mood had seized me again, and listening to Lissa and Christian rage over Victor's trial wasn't really helping me relax. I wanted to go over there and weigh in. I wanted to yell and rant and share my own frustration. But that wasn't a luxury I had as a guardian. My first duty was to protect Moroi and not give into my own impulses. Over and over, I repeated the guardian mantra: They come first. Those words were really starting to annoy me.
"Me too," Dimitri whispered under his breath, Victoria closed the book and held it up.