Konosuba: God's Blessing On This Alternate World

by OogaBoogaUngaBunga8

In an alternate universe, Kazuma decides to be reborn as a baby back at Japan. Unfortunately, Aqua makes an oopsie and reincarnates Kazuma to be reborn into the Isekai world, with no cheat item. The characters in this story will mostly be original, with slight alterations to their backstory and personality. KazumaxDarkness/Lalatina This is my version of Konosuba, enjoy.

9. Chapter 8: May This Noblewoman Betroth!

A few days had passed since Darkness left to agree to Alderp's wishes.

As each day passed, I worried more and more, even though there weren't any emergency announcements broadcasted throughout the town about Darkness going missing or anything like that.

So there was really no reason for me to stay up in the middle of the night, waiting for Darkness to return to the mansion, right?

After all, that old man Alderp didn't pose a threat to everyone's well-being in the mansion.

Right?

But my anxiety kept me awake.

As I fretted about Darkness, Sena barged into my mansion as if she owned the place and demanded that I solve the giant frogs problem caused by Megumin and Darkness.

Once again, I found myself cleaning up after them.

I thought having Kiritsu in my possession would make it easy to deal with the giant frogs, but I quickly learned that he had his own preferences when it came to what and whom to cut.

He refused to harm the giant frogs surrounding the town because of how disgusting the slime was.

How could he cut through rotting zombie flesh but not through frog slime? I couldn't fathom the logic.

In the end, it was Megumin's "rival" or best friend, Yunyun, who saved the day before being turned into frog waste.

Yunyun was a cute girl the same age as Megumin, which meant I couldn't make any moves on her until she grew older.

I had my principles and preferences, after all.

Yunyun proved to be surprisingly more useful than Megumin.

She could cast a spell and remain unparalyzed, which was a significant improvement.

But despite the positives she brought to the table, something in the back of my head told me not to get too involved with her.

Unfortunately, I let my thoughts slip out in front of Megumin, and she took it as an offense, drenching me in frog slime.

To get back at her, I took a bath with her while keeping my important parts modestly covered with a towel

I had made it clear that I wasn't interested in little girls, but she attempted to test my resolve, and I stayed true to my word as someone who advocated for gender equality.

Of course, every decision I made with these girls had consequences, and soon enough, Aqua found out about our test of resolve.

I fear for the nicknames that she could come up with.

...

"Hey, Aqua, don't make me waste my breath; just give up that seat. Since Darkness isn't back, we won't be embarking on any quests today either. I need to catch up on everything I've missed regarding my future business plan."

Upon hearing my words, Aqua, who was monopolizing the spot on the couch in front of the fireplace as usual, squinted her eyes while letting out a yawn.

She replied:

"Why are you so irritable? You've been rather hysterical lately. There's no need to act this way just because Darkness isn't back yet. Let's put that aside for now. I heard that girl Yunyun said something to Megumin. You know, everything has its price. If you want me to vacate this cozy spot for you, you must offer something that truly pleases me. Let me think, to be more specific..."

Aqua paused, taking a moment to ponder.

"If you wish for the place where the goddess resides... Offer me some high-class wine. Only then will the warm light guide the path for this lost NEET."

I couldn't help but consider giving her a swift rebuke.

Megumin was probably responsible for teaching her such unnecessary things.

"Hey, fallen goddess, if you've got the time to ask for wine this early in the morning, perhaps you should be thinking of ways to earn some money. Honestly, why do I have to work so hard? I'll deal with the debts from blowing up the landlord's mansion, and you can take care of the flood reparations. If you have even a smidgen of guilt left, then step aside."

Aqua frowned at being referred to as a fallen goddess.

"Stop giving me strange names, okay? Useless goddess, fallen goddess, or whatever else. If you persist in calling me a fallen goddess, you'll face divine retribution! Just like what happened with the landlord, it might be your punishment for neglecting me, the goddess. Kazuma, if you feel remorse for how you've treated me, just say 'Sorry, beautiful Aqua-sama,' and fetch me some high-class wine. Go and buy it quickly."

"Steal."

Seeing Aqua continuing to occupy the couch while hugging her knees, I extended my hand and uttered that word.

The sound of clinking coins was followed by the appearance of Aqua's purse in my outstretched hand.

"What are you doing, you thief? What you're doing is a crime! If I report you to the authorities, your postponed court date will be canceled. Hee–Kazuma's a criminal–! Are you planning to use my money to buy wine? What I meant was for you to use your own funds!"

"Steal."

Before Aqua could finish, I used Steal on her.

In my hand, I now held one of Aqua's socks.

Aqua continued to cling to her knees, wiggling the toes on her one bare leg intentionally in protest.

"What are you doing? I'll get cold. Give me back my sock, you pervert. If you don't return it, I'll report to the police that a pervert was breathing heavily after stealing my sock. Do you understand?"

"Steal."

I couldn't fathom why Aqua was so insistent on this particular item.

After using Steal, some kind of seed materialized in my hand.

Aqua appeared increasingly uneasy after seeing this. She attempted to defuse the situation.

"Hey, Kazuma, this kind of prank isn't funny. I admit I went too far, and I'll apologize. How about we both say sorry and move on?"

"Steal."

I casually tossed the other sock, which had magically appeared in my hand, onto the carpet.

With deliberate slowness, I addressed Aqua:

"I'm going to raise a substantial amount of money now. You mentioned that your hagoromo is a holy relic, right? Let me borrow it; I'll sell it for you. If you don't want me to take it by force, go to another room and remove it yourself... But I suspect you'll refuse, so I'll just have to strip it away right here."

I wiggled my fingers in Aqua's direction to underscore my point, and she responded with a rigid expression:

"What are you talking about? This hagoromo is a symbol of my divinity. How could you even think about selling it? This sort of jest isn't funny..."

"Steal."

"Ahhh, Kazuma-sama, ahhh! I was wrong, it's my fault, please don't, stop–!"

Several minutes later...

"Whew... Sniff... Sob... Waaah...!"

Aqua remained curled up on the couch, her face buried between her thighs.

Her appearance, apart from her exposed feet, remained unchanged.

"Damn it, why does your luck have to be so strong at a time like this? Or, rather, what are you even doing with all this junk..."

The items I had stolen from Aqua were scattered near my feet.

The items I had taken from Aqua resembled party trick novelties: seeds, cups, marbles...

The carpet was now scattered with objects one might discover when emptying the pockets of a child.

I had squandered a significant amount of mana dealing with this girl.

"Why are you making so much noise this early in the morning? What's going on?" I queried, still standing in front of the sniffling Aqua, as Megumin descended the stairs dressed for an adventure.

"Hic... Kazuma... He... To pay off the debts... He says he'll sell it... and forcefully strip me...!"

"Hey, be quiet! Don't say things that could be easily misunderstood! Yes, it's my fault. I apologize, and don't give me that look, Megumin! I only intended to sell her equipment!"

As Aqua continued to sob, Megumin regarded me with a mixture of scorn and exasperation.

It seemed like a typical morning in our household.

"Bad news, this is bad! Kazuma, bad news!"

Suddenly, a beautiful lady charged in and shattered the peaceful atmosphere.

Her attire gave off a noble aura, from the luxurious dress to the white high heels and her long braided hair cascading down her chest from one shoulder. She bore the appearance of a noblewoman.

But her noble dressing couldn't hide her alluring figure.

Despite our never having met before, this stunning lady was addressing me by name.

"Who are you?"

"Huh...? Eh...! Kazuma! Now's not the time to joke around! Why do you persist to tease me even more?"

Teasing? I now realized who this lady was.

"Wait, you're Darkness? You had us deeply worried, but you've finally returned!"

Upon hearing my words, the sniveling Aqua immediately cried out:

"Wahhh! Darkness, Kazuma, he—! Kazuma wants to strip me and sell my precious belongings!"

"Hey! Phrasing it like that can lead to some very unfortunate misunderstandings, so just be quiet!"

While Aqua and I were engaged in our petty argument, Megumin extended a warm welcome to Darkness.

"Welcome back, Darkness. You don't have to explain what happened. Here, go take a nice long bath to soothe your body and soul."

"A bath? Why remind me at such a time, Megumin? I'm more concerned about what Kazuma did to Aqua. I would pummel him, but I require his assistance with something even more problematic."

Darkness cast an expectant gaze toward me and Aqua.

"A-Are you suggesting that Kazuma attempting to strip me is of lesser importance than whatever you need his help with...? No, wait... I understand now. It was foolish of me not to care about you and your more pressing concerns. Just take a break today. I'm glad you're back. Listen to me; go enjoy a warm bath and let your emotions out."

"What are you talking about? Why should I cry? And what's with the bath...? I can't stand that all of you keep bringing it up. Why are you tugging at my skirt now, Aqua?"

Aqua, who had ceased her wailing and was now pulling at Darkness's white dress to confirm its quality, remarked:

"This is definitely high-quality material. It must be the bonus reward the landlord gave you."

"Darkness... You worked so hard... To save me, it must have been tough on you..."

I said to Darkness with genuine emotion.

Even Kiritsu went out of his way from my belt to comfort Darkness with saddening chirps.

To think this girl would sacrifice so much for me, a commoner... Makes me change my entire perspective on nobles-

"Are you all idiots?!"

Never mind.

Why is she angry?

"What exactly did you think happened? The landlord didn't do anything strange to me; this dress is mine! Why did you think I didn't return earlier? Because I was being mistreated by the landlord?"

"What else could it be? We were worried about how they were treating you... But if this dress wasn't given to you by the landlord, then why do you have this expensive attire? You claim it belongs to you, so is it for some noble lady cosplay? Are you researching some kind of role-play?"

"No! This... This isn't cosplay! I'm sorry for making you worry, but that landlord didn't have the nerve to request anything indecent from me... Forget about that, look at this!"

Darkness then handed me an album-thin booklet. Well, it was more like...

"What is this? Oh, a handsome guy? Pisses me off."

Glancing at the photo of a cheerful and good-looking man, I unconsciously tore it...

"Ahhh! Look what you've done to the marriage interview photo! If you tear it like this, how am I going to decline the matchmaking now!"

Oops!

"Sorry, I was careless! I don't know why, but my hands moved on their own; I couldn't control it... Wait, what matchmaking?"

I tilted my head in confusion, the torn photo still in my hand.

"That's right! That wily Alexei, using sneaky tactics like this! I did promise to do anything, but my father would reject him if it was too brazen. I knew that, which is why I made that promise back then, but..."

The panicked Darkness explained.

"Wait, slow down and explain clearly. Who's this handsome guy? Being forced to marry someone you don't like is an entirely unreasonable demand, right? Also, how is the landlord connected to the handsome guy in this photo? Darkness, if you don't want this, why not ask your father to reject it? I'll try to fix the photo. Aqua, can you fetch me some rice?"

"Sure thing."

Aqua hurried off, and to comfort Darkness, who was on the verge of tears, I gestured for her to sit on the couch.

"The man in the photo is Alexei's son. That cunning Alexei probably knew that if he was the one to propose, he'd be turned down. But the only thing my father saw as positive about Alexei was his son. It's difficult to explain... My father is the one who's most enthusiastic about this marriage. But I don't understand why Alexei wants his son to marry me... Could they both be in on it, perhaps? But Alexei doesn't seem like the type to do that..."

"Explain."

"In this world, the father is able to request to marry his son's wife, and if the son consents to it, then the wife will be wedded to his father."

"Eek! What kind of world is this...?! Maybe I do need to focus all my efforts on this issue. As a fair exchange for saving me, I'll help you prevent that old man from indirectly marrying you."

"But my father and I have met Alexei before. He trusts him 100% more than his own daughter... We both know he wouldn't be the type to do that. If he agreed to show up to the marriage interview, then he's serious about committing to it. He also doesn't hold any negative intentions towards any women he sees."

Darkness glanced at me as if to poke daggers at me.

As she sat on the couch and stared at the messy coffee table.

Aqua returned with rice grains and sat next to Darkness, placing the torn photo on the table and starting to repair it.

She used a corner of the table, which was covered with a map of all my delivery routes, soon to be printed with Wiz's assistance.

Darkness picked up the map, her curiosity piqued.

"Hmm...? Why do you have a map of the entire town on this piece of paper?"

Megumin, who was putting on her boots near the entrance, replied:

"While Darkness was away, we've been brainstorming ways to earn more money. Although, for some reason, Kazuma's idea is to draw a map and route to all the females in this town."

"Don't try to deceive her! It's a route to all my clients who want to use my delivery service. I'm going to Wiz's shop later to have it printed."

"Oh? Well, Kazuma has high luck stats. He might be better suited as a merchant or a business owner, after all."

"Speaking of my luck, I have serious doubts about that. If my luck were truly great, I wouldn't have accumulated debts, become embroiled in troublesome incidents, and led such a chaotic life."

The three of them visibly shivered at my comment.

"I'm dealing with this matchmaking issue because I vouched for Kazuma! No, I'm not asking for anything in return! We're comrades, and helping each other is what matters most. I've caused you all so much trouble, so it's only natural for me to help you!"

Darkness explained, though a bead of sweat trickled down her cheek.

"I have a meeting with Yunyun later! Yes, that's it! To prove Kazuma's innocence, I'm going to devise a plan with Yunyun!"

Megumin turned away and mentioned before heading for the entrance.

So, that's where she was going.

"I'll entrust them with clearing Kazuma's name as a suspect and take care of cleaning the toilet! I don't think it's dirty, but I'm a bit concerned about the toilet. Leave the areas involving water to me!"

Pausing her work on the photo repair, the goddess of toilets used cleaning as an excuse to escape.

As everyone seemed to be planning their escape, Darkness waved her hands, signaling them to stay.

She wore a sorrowful expression and said to us:

"What... What should I do? I returned these past few days to put a stop to the matchmaking... I came here for that very reason... The matchmaking is set for this afternoon, and there's no time left. Forgive me, but is there anyone willing to accompany me to convince my father?"

Don't look at me like that... Who taught you how to produce puppy eyes...? You're not a puppy...

I let out a sigh.

...

"In a nutshell, Darkness's father wants her to give up her dangerous career as an adventurer, so he sends her to matchmaking sessions whenever he gets the chance. But Darkness has no intention of marrying yet and has rejected all previous attempts."

Megumin explained as she sat near the entrance after putting on her boots.

Aqua continued to repair the photo on the table.

I had initially planned to fix the photo I had torn myself, but Aqua seemed genuinely happy to do it and was doing a fantastic job, so I decided to let her continue.

This girl truly possessed an array of unexpected talents...

"Yes, you're absolutely right. To be honest, I'm content with my current life. If I can continue my career, I hope to achieve recognition from the Royal Kingdom as soon as possible. I can already picture my name in the history books as the toughest female knight alive...! Haha! I can see it now!"

Her maniacal laughter startled me, prompting me to take a few steps back.

"Geez, that's a side of you we've never seen before..."

"R-Really? Was that too much? Did I overdo it?"

Hm?

Megumin shook the staff in her hand and said doubtfully:

"I see, the previous matchmaking sessions were at the request of Darkness's father, which she could decline. However, this matchmaking session was proposed by the landlord, and Darkness has already promised him a favor. Her father is enthusiastic, and the landlord is equally keen, so she can't refuse under these circumstances. But the landlord seems to want her by any means necessary, so why is he so fixated on Darkness? I also don't understand why he wants her as a daughter-in-law. With his status as a landlord, if he truly desired, he could force Darkness to be his concubine."

Upon hearing Megumin's remarks, Darkness lowered her head.

She folded her hands before her chest, rubbing her fingers for a moment before finally confessing:

"My... My real name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I come from a rather esteemed noble clan..."

"Ehhh!"
"Ehhh!"

Seeing the surprised expressions on Aqua and Megumin's faces, Darkness briefly wore a lonely look and appeared somewhat saddening.

She must have often shocked people when introducing herself, which is likely why she was taken aback by my surprise at her name rather than her noble lineage.

"Dustiness...! That's not just rather esteemed; it's an incredibly powerful noble clan! The top adviser in this nation, that Dustiness? Right here in this town?"

Darkness responded softly to the screaming Megumin:

"Yes..."

Aqua, however, asked:

"What! So, if I become a member of the Dustiness family, I can laze around all day and live a luxurious life?"

Missing the point entirely, Aqua seemed to focus on the idea of an easy life.

Darkness replied with a slightly troubled tone:

"Yes... But, our family isn't looking to adopt..."

I couldn't resist pointing out the most important part of the conversation to Darkness.

"Darkness, you always talk like 'Yeah' and 'Sure' and act all proper like a knight! But your real name is Lalatina! It's still so cute!"

"Don't, don't call me Lalatina...!"

Lalatina's face turned red, and she shouted with tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Hey, if your family clan is one of the top, why not just ask the Prince for your hand in marriage?"

Huh, Aqua actually pointed something out that I didn't realize...

It seemed odd to go through so much trouble when you were just one or two ranks below the Royal Family.

Something wasn't adding up...

"I-I can't do that! Even with my family's influence, it doesn't work like that. I either have to earn his attention or defeat the Demon King to be considered."

Once again, Aqua missed the point.

"So if I defeat the Demon King, I can live an even more luxurious life? Alright, Kazuma, next stop, the Demon King's Castle."

"We're not going anywhere, Aqua."

Megumin, who had stood up in astonishment, settled back down on the carpet near the entrance and said:

"Well... This might be surprising, but Darkness is Darkness. For me, Darkness is a tough Crusader and an important comrade. That's all."

When Megumin expressed her fondness for Darkness, Darkness responded with a happy expression, saying:

"Yes, please take care of me from now on too..." She then smiled with relief.

Aqua, seizing the opportunity to draw attention to herself, cheerfully pointed at herself and exclaimed:

"Hey, hey, I have something shocking to tell you, okay? Well, I've said this before, but you didn't believe me... Actually, I'm a goddess!"

To this revelation, Darkness responded, "Wow, that's great!"

Aqua, still unsatisfied with their disbelief, grumbled as she resumed repairing the torn photo with rice.

Observing the interactions among the three of them, I began to contemplate something.

Many pieces of the puzzle started fitting together.

It became clear why Darkness had less knowledge about the world than me and why she often wore cosplay-like attire that seemed out of place.

The reason the landlord was so insistent on his son marrying Darkness was likely for political reasons.

There were people who desired to live in the same house with her, even if they couldn't win her heart.

As I pondered this, I realized that an essential member of our party was on the verge of being married off.

If I leave this alone, an important member in our party was going to be married off.

Important... Member... Hmm...?

In a slightly detached manner, Aqua proposed:

"We should return this photo and convince Darkness's father. Take a look at this. How is it? Isn't the repair perfect?"

While I was lost in thought, Aqua handed me the photo with a smug expression. The photo looked as good as new, with no signs of the previous tear.

The revelation that Darkness might be married off made me consider the possibility of her retiring from the party due to marriage.

"Retirement due to marriage... That's right, a wonderful occasion." I mused silently.

It was clear that I wasn't treating her like a useless child and wasn't eager to chase her away.

I didn't hate Darkness.

She possessed no weird habits 'possibly', didn't cause significant trouble for me, and was, in reality, not a bad person at all.

However, I couldn't help but consider the state of our party. Darkness was an aristocratic lady, and I questioned whether it was fair to hold her back as an adventurer.

No, it wasn't a good idea.

If Darkness were to get married, this Alexei person might sell her to Alderp, subjecting her to the worst possible fate. Her parents would be devastated.

I couldn't help but worry about Darkness.

There was also the off-chance that we might encounter danger on our journey to the Demon King's castle, and Darkness would enthusiastically exclaim:

'Don't worry about me; just leave me here and go.'

However, from what Darkness had described about Alexei and from that seemingly innocent picture, it was improbable that he would sell her to Alderp.

This is an insane gamble you're putting onto, Kazuma.

Think... Think...!

What would happen if I was forced to marry someone that didn't seemed trustworthy...?

---

"We think you'd be a great fit for our son! He wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"Yeah, he's spent more time inside his room than in my wife's stomach! I'm sure you have what it takes to get him out of his room!"

"Bye, son—!"
"Bye, son—!"

---

Why did I even try to imagine...

Anyway, that's right! In other words, this was a great idea that would gift everyone with happiness!

"Sigh... I must come up with a reason to return this photo to the other party. I'll then use that excuse to apologize and try to convince my father... That's why I hope someone can accompany me to do this..."

Darkness looked at the repaired matchmaking photo in my hand, feeling reassured as she requested our assistance. And then...

"That's it—!"

"Ahhh!"

I tore the photo in half.

...

"I have to meet Yunyun, so I'm going now. I've got a bad feeling about what Kazuma might be contemplating, but it should be fine, right? I'm leaving Darkness in your care, okay?"

With an uneasy expression, Megumin cast a few glances in my direction before leaving.

For me, Megumin's departure came as a relief. Among the three, she was probably the most challenging to handle.

"Ugh... I put so much effort into fixing it..."

Aqua, who was sitting on the couch, threw a fit because the photo she had repaired was torn up again.

As I watched Megumin leave, I felt a strong, silent gaze on my back.

It was Darkness, glaring at me with teary eyes.

Aqua was also staring at me, tears welling up in her eyes.

How... How intimidating.

"Calm down... This is for the best in the long run."

Upon hearing my on-the-spot excuse, Darkness, still teary-eyed, asked:

"How?"

I explained to Darkness and Aqua in detail.

In essence, for her to continue her career as an adventurer, it would be better to attend a matchmaking session now.

This one might be with the landlord's son, but even if it were rejected, Darkness's father would arrange another one in no time.

Would Darkness need to reject them one by one? If her father couldn't take it anymore, he might resort to more drastic measures.

In that case, Darkness should accept it this one time and utterly sabotage the event.

That was my suggestion. While I suggested complete destruction, it wouldn't do to tarnish Darkness's family name. She just needed to force the other party to give up voluntarily.

This way, Darkness's parents would be more cautious when arranging the next matchmaking session. After all, it would be embarrassing for the family if the other party rejected them every time.

And, of course, Aqua and I would accompany her, pretending to be servants. We would secretly assist Darkness in making the other party dislike her. This time, the target was the infamous landlord's family.

Even though sabotaging this session to discourage Darkness's father would have a negative impact on her family's reputation, it would be less damaging than doing so compared to matchmaking with a fine aristocratic clan.

After hearing my explanation, Darkness said:

"That... That's it, Kazuma! Let's go with this plan! If it works, I won't have to go home and beat up my father every time he arranges a session."

I felt sorry for her father...

"I understand. This is a great plan! I thought you would've said, 'If one of the problem children gets married, I can find a new member and relax, yahoo–!' or something like that!"

Aqua's words sent a shiver down my spine.

"No... No way! How could I bear letting such an excellent Crusader like Darkness leave? Don't do that, don't look at me with those eyes. I'm only half serious about it, okay..."

...

Dustiness Mansion, an imposing structure situated on the bustling main street of town, bore the regal facade befitting a grand aristocratic family.

"Is this true? Are you truly okay with this, Lalatina? Are you willing to give sincere consideration to this matchmaking session?"

Lalatina, or rather, Darkness's father, held her hand while expressing his enthusiasm.

We found ourselves inside Darkness's opulent family home, where she had informed her father of her willingness to partake in the matchmaking session.

"It is indeed true, dear father. I'm eager to give it a try."

Upon hearing Darkness's response, Aqua and I couldn't help but lower our heads in respect.

"Hey, Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san, she just called him 'Dear father.'"

"Are you dumb, Lalatina's humorously adorable when she refers to herself as 'Lalatina.'"

As we observed Lady Lalatina's uncharacteristic speech, Aqua and I exchanged hushed whispers, trying to suppress our laughter.

Our shaking shoulders did not escape the stern gaze of the red-faced lady.

Observing our behavior, Darkness's father became somewhat suspicious.

"Lalatina, who are these two guests?"

Upon hearing the inquiry, Darkness extended her hand toward Aqua and me.

"These two are my adventuring companions. For this matchmaking session, I wish to engage them as temporary butler and maid to accompany me."

Her father appeared somewhat apprehensive about this arrangement.

"Well, you see..."

This wasn't going as planned.

Stepping forward, I placed one hand on my chest and stood with poise.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am the adventurer Satou Kazuma, and I have had the honor of being under Lady Lalatina's care. In the event that this matchmaking endeavor proves successful, it is probable that we may no longer have the privilege of Lady Lalatina's company due to our differing social statuses. While we understand that we are bending the rules somewhat, we request the opportunity to remain by Lady Lalatina's side for this final moment and ascertain whether we can entrust our cherished companion to the groom."

Without any stuttering, I stated my piece fluently and bowed.

I'm so cool right now.

If I could marry the lady away, I felt I could achieve anything.

Observing my uncharacteristic demeanor, Darkness and Aqua were both taken aback.

The maids guided us to the designated meeting room.

"Please wait a moment. We will prepare the attire for our esteemed guests."

The maids led us to a seating area and served tea. After inviting us to 'enjoy the tea,' they gracefully exited the room.

As one might expect from a room within the mansion of a prominent aristocratic family, it seemed unassuming at first glance, yet it was evident that maintaining an aura of nobility required a substantial investment.

We sat patiently for a while, but inevitably, boredom set in.

Unable to remain still, we began to explore the room, picking up and examining various decorative pieces.

While I lacked expertise in art appreciation, it was clear that each item in the room held a significant price tag. Consider, for instance, the painting adorning one of the walls.

At first glance, it resembled a child's scribble, but it was likely one of those so-called modern art pieces.

I stroked my chin thoughtfully while gazing at the artwork, muttering quietly as if deeply engrossed in the painting.

"Kazuma, you seem to really appreciate that graffiti."

Aqua, who was unaware of my feigned art admiration, remarked.

"Ah, you're quite uncultured, Aqua. This is modern art, and only those with an understanding of it can truly appreciate its beauty. It must be the work of a master painter."

Listening to my exaggerated explanation, Aqua casually responded from the couch:

"But, from the perspective of someone who has studied art, it just looks like ordinary graffiti."

I shrugged and shook my head in response to Aqua's comment.

"Well, the ability to create art and the ability to appraise it are two different things. Look at this section, for example. It might appear to be scribbles at first, but if you..."

While I continued my nonsensical explanation to Aqua, Darkness entered the meeting room.

"Sorry for the delay. You... Hey, Kazuma, that's a painting of my father, done by me when I was young. Father really likes this painting, so he's hung it here to showcase it to the guests. Please don't stare at it; it makes me feel embarrassed... Hey, what are you doing? Don't pull my hair!"

As Aqua was laughing at me deviously, I playfully tugged on one of Darkness's braided hair strands.

Just then, a maid entered the room carrying attire for a butler and a maid.

"Kazuma-san, this is the butler's attire. The size should be a good fit. Please try it on."

I received the clothing from the maid and followed her into the adjacent dressing room.

It turned out to be a perfect fit.

"It looks great."

Upon hearing my words, the maid graciously bowed and retreated to a corner of the room.

With my success in securing a position as a temporary butler for Darkness's father, I rejoined Darkness, now dressed appropriately.

Aqua had already taken on the role of a maid.

Surprisingly, the pure and simple maid outfit suited her quite well.

"Aqua, you look quite nice in that outfit. Right now, you resemble a top-tier minion."

"You do too, Kazuma. You look like an eager junior butler. It feels as though you'll be bullied by more experienced colleagues and end up crying alone in a corner."

"Ara, what an interesting way of putting it. If we weren't in a grand noble's mansion right now, I'd have a word with you... Well then, are you prepared, Lalatina-Ojou-sama?"

"Don't... Don't call me Lalatina-Ojou-sama! Just addressing me as 'my lady' will do if others are around!"

Darkness hastily barked at me.

The meeting was scheduled to take place in this mansion, and Darkness's father sought my help.

He requested my assistance in ensuring his daughter didn't engage in any impolite behavior during the proceedings.

But it wasn't just that; he was also willing to compensate me for my efforts if the meeting went off without a hitch.

The alignment of our interests, along with the promised reward, served as an extra incentive.

t was hard for me not to feel enthusiastic about the task at hand.

If the landlord's son turned out to be utterly inept, I would readily partake in disrupting the meeting. However, if he proved to be only slightly bothersome, I'd probably turn a blind eye to his antics.

"The two of you, follow me. Pay close attention! You do understand your roles, right? I'm relying on you!"

Darkness led us to the entrance with a somewhat uneasy expression as we awaited the arrival of the other party in the matchmaking session.

Flanked by maids on either side, Darkness presented the image of a noble lady from a prestigious house.

On the way to the entrance, Aqua, with her discerning eye, scanned for valuable pieces.

"Oh, that one looks rather..."

Aqua pointed at an urn with a handle as though she had stumbled upon something remarkable.

Whether it was the worth of this urn or the insignificance of the graffiti from earlier, this girl had an uncanny artistic sense.

Curiosity piqued, I reached for the urn Aqua was eyeing and hoisted it up.

It was surprisingly heavy.

"Is this valuable? What's the price tag on it?"

"Hey... Hands off the items over here; that's my father's expensive urn..."

Darkness reached out for the handles of the urn I had picked up.

"According to my brilliant appraisal, this urn is..."

Phuck!

"Ah!"

With a resounding crack and our simultaneous exclamation, only the handle remained in Darkness's grasp.

"This urn has now become a piece of junk."

"What... What should we do? This is my father's cherished collectible. What do we do?"

Panic washed over Darkness as she clutched the broken handle in her hands.

"Calm... Calm down! Your dad isn't here right now! We have two options! First, confess it when the matchmaking guests arrive. That way, your father won't get angry in front of them. The second option: perform quick, makeshift repairs using rice or something and position the urn in a way that it will easily fall if your father handles it."

"I... I understand. We'll go with that! Kazuma, you're quick-witted as always! Even if I confess it in front of the guests, my father will still lecture me after they depart! We'll make makeshift repairs, position it for easy tipping, and instruct the staff not to touch it. That's the best approach!"

Upon hearing my discussion with Darkness, one of the Dustiness mansion maids interjected:

"Excuse me, honored guest... Please don't teach our young lady such things..."

...

The servants assembled in a line at the entrance, positioning Darkness and her father in the center, with Aqua and me flanking Darkness on either side.

I suddenly realized that I hadn't seen Darkness's mother, but this was hardly the time to dwell on it.

The other party would be arriving soon.

"However, to think that you would agree to this matchmaking. I'm genuinely delighted... When Alexei mentioned he had something to discuss with me, I was apprehensive. He was confident that you wouldn't reject it as well. Leaving Alexei aside, his son is a good young man. You will have a splendid life with him, Lalatina."

Darkness's father expressed with evident joy.

However, Darkness responded:

"How cruel, dear father. Lalatina merely stated that she would give genuine consideration to the marriage, hehe... After careful thought, I've realized it's still too early for me to wed, but it's too late now. I consented to the matchmaking session, but I never declared my intention to marry! I intend to sabotage this meeting! I will ruin the matchmaking session! Hmm... Hahaha!"

Darkness believed there was no need to continue the pretense.

This time, her sinister laughter felt entirely genuine.

As her father's complexion paled in realization of our true intentions, he stammered:

"Could... Could it be that the two of them are here to...?"

He cast a fearful glance in our direction.

It seemed that Darkness was so enthralled by her excitement that she had cast aside any concern for her family's reputation at this point.

If that was the case, I had no reason to maintain the charade.

"My lady, your choice of words is rather indelicate. Please refrain from speaking in such a manner."

I chided, earning surprised looks from Darkness and her father.

Aqua, seemingly distracted with her maid outfit, playfully swayed her skirt and danced about, blissfully disregarding the tense atmosphere.

Upon understanding my true motives, Darkness's expression turned sour, while her father gazed at me with tears of joy, regarding me as if I were a savior.

"Kazuma, you... You...! What is this? Are you planning to betray me?"

"There's no betrayal at play, my lady. Presently, I serve as Dustiness's butler, and my sole desire is to see my lady attain happiness."

Her father let out a sigh of relief and addressed me:

"You're Kazuma, correct? Even if this session doesn't yield the desired results, please ensure that Lalatina refrains from any disgraceful actions in front of the other party! I'll reward you generously! So... so..."

Before her father could conclude his sentence, I executed a deep bow.

"Rest assured, dear sir. I shall do my utmost to assist my lady..."

In that very moment, the mansion's door creaked open, and the man I had observed in the photograph entered, accompanied by an entourage.

Darkness was determined to take the initiative, crossing her arms and glaring at the other party as she declared loudly:

"You must be the young man meeting with me, correct? I am Dustiness Ford Lalatina! You may address me as Queen Dustiness..."

"Ara, be careful, my lady! There's a bug on the back of your head!"

I swiftly delivered a firm tap to the back of Darkness's head!

After averting a potential scene caused by Darkness, we excused ourselves, claiming that we needed to inspect whether the lady had been stung by the bug, and we moved to the adjacent room.

Darkness's father remained with the guests to buy time.

"Hey, what's going on? Aren't you here to help me?"

Darkness seized my collar and dragged me into the corridor.

Aqua, who was still unclear about the situation, walked alongside Darkness.

She appeared to take pleasure in fiddling with Darkness's braided hair, playing with it in her hand.

Currently, Darkness was interrogating me.

"Regardless, calm down, my lady. You seem to have forgotten something important."

"Don't call me 'my lady' when it's just the three of us!... What's this important matter?"

Darkness regained her composure, her demeanor softened enough to listen to me.

"You seemed to have overlooked the part about safeguarding your family's reputation. If you create too much of a mess, it's you who'll bear the brunt of it."

Darkness displayed a pensive frown in response to my words.

"You're right... I may have gone too far. It's just that my father has arranged these sessions so many times that I find it exhilarating each time I thwart them, especially since they've all been rather uneventful. But if I were to reject Alexei in such a disrespectful manner, it would undoubtedly tarnish both my father's and my reputation. Then I might never gain the recognition of the Prince..."

Finally, some sense seems to have penetrated her.

But why am I even helping this girl to begin with?

Didn't I declare the moment I first met her that I didn't want to end up as some secondary character, assisting the main heroine with her romantic endeavors?

Then again, if I were to eliminate her right now, it would pave the way for us to recruit a more useful party member.

Perhaps my luck is taking a turn, and all the troublesome party members are finally exiting my life.

Megumin and Aqua are no better than Darkness, though...

While I contemplated these thoughts, Aqua turned to Darkness and proposed:

"I have an even better plan! I've seen this type of plot device used in those Love-Drama CDs where the woman enters a fake marriage with another man to make her crush notice her. After a dramatic and intense sequence, the woman reveals that it was all a setup to make the man acknowledge his true feelings, and they live happily ever after! So, why not marry that Alexei-whatever-his-name? When the news gets out, the Prince will undoubtedly react with anger and scold you for marrying a man he doesn't even know! Then you can confess to him, and he'll make you his bride!"

Even Darkness could perceive how absurd such a plan was.

Moreover, given Aqua's awful luck, the plan was doomed to fail.

Nonetheless, I made another attempt to convince her.

"I mean, this Alexei guy seems like a decent catch. His words appear sincere, and the way he looks at you is far more appealing than Alderp's gaze. What if the Prince rejects you? What will you do then...?"

"In that case, I'll just continue adventuring..."

"Eh?"
"Eh?"

I half-expected her to be overdramatic saying:

'Then my life and reason for living is over... My destiny cannot be fulfilled and I will live an empty life...!'

"What's the matter with you two?"

"Nothing."
"Nothing."

Observing our awkward expressions, Darkness clutched her hands to her chest and looked down with a hint of nervousness.

"I've... I've enjoyed the time I've spent adventuring with the three of you. Normally, I'd think my life was over, but after spending over a month with all of you... I'll just continue adventuring with you all until I decide to get married. Everything is more enjoyable than I ever expected it to be."

"Yeah, me too! Anyway, could you describe what Alexei is like...? I need to explain something very important to a certain little boy..."

Aqua, seemingly oblivious to the sincere atmosphere, asked Darkness to provide details about this handsome guy's virtues.

"He's talented, and his appearance is nothing like the landlord's. The townsfolk sing his praises. He's a cheerful man. Everyone in Axel has nothing but positive things to say about him. He distributes items to assist the less fortunate. I've even received aid from him a few times. He has a great character. He doesn't lose his temper with anyone and refrains from scolding his staff when they make mistakes. He's an odd sort who collaboratively investigates the reasons behind such errors."

I couldn't help but feel irritated...

He seemed too good to be true.

"And he's incredibly hardworking, studying diligently to employ his knowledge for the benefit of the people. He's intelligent and highly skilled in swordsmanship, becoming the youngest knight in history. I've never heard a single negative word about him, a genuinely flawless man. Moreover, he frequently advises his father, urging him to revise his harsh policies."

Okay, maybe he wasn't such a terrible guy in my eyes after all.

"Enough talk about him! We're wasting precious time discussing him. I've made up my mind... I'll do my best to make Walther reject me while minimizing the damage. That way, it works out for all of us. You can decide whether or not to assist me. If you choose to obstruct me, I'll punch you harder than when you used Steal on my bra."

Once more, Darkness took us by surprise and stormed off into the room with anger.

Oh, right, I almost forgot about that incident.

If she reprimands me or embarrasses me, like the time she called me a 'loser with no balls' in front of everyone at the guild, I'll use that as leverage to get back at her.

...

"Apologies for the wait."

"We're back."

Upon our return to the entrance, Darkness and her father were still engrossed in a cheerful conversation with Walther. Darkness cast uneasy glances in our direction as we stood beside her.

"I understand how Kazuma feels about this. I too wish for Darkness to marry someone she genuinely cares for. However, after hearing your words, I believe it would be inadvisable."

"I'm relieved that you comprehend. You should act according to your own judgment. Try to assist from the sidelines so that Darkness can leave a positive impression on the other party, alright?"

I wasn't entirely sure if Darkness had overheard our conversation. She leaned in close and whispered into my ear:

"Hey, for your own good, give it up. Otherwise, you'll experience something so dreadful that you'll wish for death."

What is she talking about? That's awfully ominous.

But threats don't faze me anymore.

Because I have the support of someone even mightier than Darkness.

That's right...

"Apologies for the interruption, dear sir. Could we proceed with the meeting between the young lady and Mr. Walther? The young lady has appeared rather impatient for a while now."

Upon hearing my words, Darkness gritted her teeth in response to my proposal.

Her father, however, didn't catch on to Darkness's reaction and readily agreed to my suggestion.

Darkness's dad didn't seem to mind when I smacked the back of Darkness's head to silence her. He appeared to think I had done a commendable job and sighed in relief.

This indicated that I had earned her father's approval and wouldn't face a scolding if I went a bit too far.

"Well then, Mr. Walther, please follow us. Lalatina, come along as well. Let's proceed to the meeting room."

Upon hearing her father's words, Darkness crouched down.

"It seems my heel has broken... Mr. Walther, could you lend me a hand?"

Darkness extended her hand to Walther as she spoke.

She likely intended to avoid me hitting her head by conversing in a refined, lady-like manner.

But something felt off; she must have had an ulterior motive.

I acted quickly.

"Young lady, allow me. Regardless of how much you admire Master Walther, you are not yet engaged, and it would be improper to trouble him like this. My apologies, Master Walther. The young lady is... Ahhh, ow, ow, ow... It's breaking... Breaking... Please don't tease me... Wait, stop. Please stop! I'm telling you to cease, young lady!"

"Hehe... I always have a backup plan, Kazuma. If you continue to push me, I'll pull out my last resort just like how it saved you from being executed..."

What...?

After forcefully shaking off the hand crushed by Darkness's full strength, I blinked back tears.

This girl... If I hadn't intervened, she might have inflicted that on Walther!

"What's the matter? Are you alright?"

Observing me crouched down in pain, clutching my right hand, Walther expressed concern.

What a fine gentleman. Please, just marry this wild woman and take her away.

"Fufufu, it's nothing. Let's proceed, Mr. Walther."

Darkness moved away hastily. I could only watch her depart while squatting down, awaiting Aqua's magical healing.

Upon witnessing us, her father pressed his hands together and bowed in apology.

"Now then, allow me to introduce myself properly once more. I am Alexei Barnes Walther, son of the Alexei family. I assist my father in governing the territory."

Darkness and Walther sat across from each other, with the white coffee table of the guest room separating them.

Walther was a suave and sophisticated man.

He stood a head taller than me.

It was evident that he engaged in regular training. His well-defined muscles were discernible through his attire, and he possessed a lean and athletic physique.

Walther smiled warmly as he gazed at Darkness.

Aqua and I were positioned close to Darkness, perhaps a bit too close.

Walther appeared to be a tad uncomfortable with our proximity. However, since Darkness's father didn't comment on it, he refrained from saying anything either.

"I am Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I believe there's no need for a detailed introduction of my family. Even the son of a certain upstart landlord should be aware... Ahhh!"

Darkness began speaking disrespectfully right from the start, but her voice quivered as her face flushed red.

"Are... Are you alright?"

Walther inquired with concern, yet Darkness continued.

"I'm... I'm fine... It's just that looking at Mr. Walther's face is... Nnnhhh–!"

Before she could finish her sentence, Darkness lowered her head onto the table, her ears burning red.

"Miss Darkness has been experiencing stomach discomfort since morning. Isn't that right, Darkness?! Don't push yourself if your stomach is bothering you."

"Huh? No, I'm not...!"

Darkness denied, while Aqua attempted to provide an excuse on her behalf.

Ignoring Aqua, who seemed to be making matters worse, I chimed in:

"The young lady was eager to meet Mr. Walther since early morning and got a little too excited. As you can see, she's incredibly shy, which is why her face is so red."

"Well... Her face is indeed quite red... It's rather embarrassing..."

I pressed down a bit harder with my foot and whispered to Darkness in a hushed tone, audible only to her.

I discreetly turned my foot, which was positioned beneath the table, where Darkness could feel it.

"Hey, young lady, I'll press harder if you continue with this nonsense."

I wasn't sure if she had heard my words, but Darkness's face grew even redder, and she began to breathe more heavily as she softly replied:

"I can handle it... I'm a tough girl..."

Our young lady was maintaining her usual behavior.

Upon observing his daughter's conduct, Darkness's father seemed to grasp the underlying situation beneath the table.

To provide cover for both Darkness and me, her father initiated a conversation with Walther.

"Mr. Walther, I heard that your mansion was recently destroyed. Where are you currently residing? How about staying at my place? Naturally, you'll have to sleep in a separate room from my daughter."

Darkness's father made the suggestion half-jokingly, and Walther responded with a smile.

"Hahaha! No, if I were to live under the same roof as the lovely Lady Lalatina, it would require an immense amount of self-control to resist..."

This was something Walther and I could certainly agree upon.

So, as Darkness blushed and trembled, the two of them engaged in light conversation...

Once they had finished, Darkness's father rose from his seat and stated:

"An old man like me sticking around would just be a hindrance. I'll take my leave and leave the two of you to get acquainted in private."

As he departed, he whispered in my ear:

"I'm counting on you."

At present, Darkness and Walther were strolling through the family courtyard, with Aqua and me in tow... and it was truly grand, befitting a renowned aristocratic family.

The extensive courtyard featured a pond, and even in the midst of winter, colorful flowers were in bloom. These were undoubtedly high-quality varieties.

Aqua whistled and clapped upon seeing the fish in the pond.

Curious about her actions, I turned my attention to the pond and noticed the school of fish congregating around Aqua...

Impressive. I'd have to ask her to teach me how she did that later.

"Lady Lalatina, do you have any hobbies?"

While I was focused on the pond, Walther asked the obligatory and harmless question typically posed during matchmaking.

"I hunt Goblins in my free time... Gah-!"

When Darkness inadvertently made a thoughtless remark, I nudged her in the side.

Walther chuckled and tilted his head as he turned to me, noticing our unusually close proximity.

"It seems the two of you are quite close."

My face turned pale, and I thought this might be the end.

Oh no, I had gone too far. I had become a factor that was tarnishing Darkness's image.

Seeing the butler and the lady in such close proximity during a matchmaking session must have felt awkward.

As I pondered how to salvage the situation, Darkness, who had noticed the awkwardness, gave me a devious smile.

What was she plotting now?

"I'm very close to this butler, Kazuma. We spend every day together. Be it meals or bathing, even sleeping at night is... Is... Mmmm...!"

Was this her last resort?

Did she expect me to blush like a typical, plain protagonist and exclaim:

'I-Idiot, what are you trying to do?! I would never do that! W-We're just close friends...!'

Instead, I just sighed...

Her last resort was pretty weak...

"Ugh! I don't want to beat around the bush anymore! I can't take this! So many people and problems in my way all because I want to fulfill a promise...!"

The young lady tore the skirt of her dress.

Woah, her last resort was pretty effective...!

The torn portion revealed her white thigh, displaying Darkness's alluring body in plain sight.

Her lewdness had transformed her skirt into a more manageable length. She then tore a slit up the side of her skirt.

Walther couldn't help but avert his eyes as Darkness yelled at him.

"Hey, you're called Walther, right? Since you're a knight, you should know how to use a sword! My job's a Crusader, let's go to the dojo. I'll appraise your skills there. Come, follow me!"

Darkness acted impulsively, and I couldn't stop her.

"Hey, Darkness...! Uhhhh..."

"Walther, take a good look at that man. Those are the eyes of a man who has already seen me naked! In truth, Kazuma and I have taken many baths together! We're in a loving relationship!"

I-I-I didn't look!

I only glanced a little out of curiosity!

"Loving relationship my ass!"

Great, now she's trying to commit to another cliché romance plot.

The main heroine asks the main or side character to fake their relationship so she can either fall in love with him eventually or force her crush to confess quickly so they can live happily ever after.

Wait... This was just the plan that Aqua mostly described!

I'll give that idiot a piece of my mind after she teaches me that magic trick...

...

"We fight until one party surrenders. Just try to make me say 'I can't fight anymore,' or 'Please stop hitting me'! If you can do that, I can marry you or follow you anywhere!"

Darkness brought us to the dojo.

In the center of the dojo, Darkness tossed a wooden sword to Walther.

Walther caught the wooden sword and swung it with a troubled face, saying:

"Um, Lady Lalatina, I'm a knight. Even if this is just training, I can't point a sword at a lady..."

Hearing Walther say that, Darkness frowned and said unhappily:

"What a gutless fellow. Kazuma, who's standing right there, claims to be a gender equality advocate. He even announced that he would not hesitate to dropkick a woman. You should learn from him."

Walther looked at me when Darkness said that, and his gaze felt painful.

Then, Walther seemed to have made up his mind and said with a sigh:

"I understand. To be honest, my father forced me to come, and I'm here to reject the marriage... But after seeing you, I changed my mind. You're different from the other daughters of nobility, as expected of the only daughter of the national chief adviser. You seem to have a bold personality, but get embarrassed by your own words. That's cute. Your way of speaking is straightforward and isn't haughty toward the butler serving you, treating him as an equal. I'm very interested in you... Prepare yourself, Lady Lalatina!"

After the sudden confession, he slashed at Darkness!

The quick slash disarmed Darkness's wooden sword and hit her shoulder.

Seeing that the attack was a success, Walther sighed in relief, thinking that victory was a sure thing.

But Darkness picked up her wooden sword and said nonchalantly:

"Very good, next. Come at me!"

After more than thirty minutes...

"Enough! The match is obviously over! Why aren't you giving up?"

Despite Walther having the advantage, it sounded as if he was being forced into a corner.

In terms of capability, Walther was dominating.

Since the start, Darkness's wooden sword couldn't touch Walther. Darkness was hit multiple times and was bruised all over.

But apart from being out of breath, Darkness was perfectly fine, her eyes brimming with vitality. She truly embodied the spirit of resilience.

Her fiery red cheeks glistened with sweat, and she bellowed:

"What's the matter? Don't be shy! Attack with all your might! Show me your unwavering determination to persevere till the end!"

Witnessing Darkness's fervor, Walther relinquished his wooden sword, raising both arms in surrender.

"I yield, Lady Lalatina. It's my defeat. Even if my skills surpass yours, I lack your mental fortitude. I can't bring myself to attack you any further. You're an indomitable soul."

Walther gazed at Darkness with a dazed expression and offered a contented smile.

However, Darkness seemed unsatisfied, nonchalantly remarking, "Is that all? How dull. Return after more training."

Hearing her words and dropping his wooden sword, Walther burst into laughter, filled with genuine delight and no regrets.

Underneath the surface, the tale unfolded as Darkness triumphing over Walther through her unwavering determination

From Walther's perspective, Darkness, with her panting and flushed cheeks, resembled a Crusader enduring tremendous agony.

Still catching her breath, Darkness was attended to by Aqua, who arrived to heal her wounds.

I picked up the wooden sword that Darkness had set down and began to put it away. Simultaneously, Walther had already retrieved his wooden sword, intending to do the same.

"Oh, are you by any chance interested in sparring with me, Kazuma?"

Walther inquired, devoid of any negative intent, purely curious.

Hearing this, Darkness turned around, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

"Yup! My boyfriend wants to challenge you to a fight! If you decline, your reputation as an excellent swordsman is at stake!"

That idiot!

How many times does she intend to get back at me!

All I did was...

Okay, maybe I deserve a little bit of it, but this is too much!

"By the way... Are you the Kazuma who defeated Mitsurugi, the wielder of the legendary sword Gram...? I heard about it when I was in Axel not long ago."

"Y-Yes, that's me..."

Out of all the people who could know, why him?

And who was the one who spread the news?

Upon hearing of my duel, he seemed genuinely interested in sparring with me.

"As fellow swordsmen, this is something I can't just ignore. Swordsmen like to test their skills against one another. Would you be up for a friendly duel, Kazuma? There won't be any wagers involving Lady Lalatina or anything, just a friendly match."

"... Sure..."

If I lost, there wouldn't be much to lose.

I wasn't the strongest swordsman in this world, and apart from Aqua and Darkness, nobody was watching.

Walther smiled and assumed his stance. I mirrored his stance, and his expression shifted.

"Is there something wrong with my form...?"

"Not at all. It's just that your posture is a bit amateurish. You're too stiff and standing straighter than a door. Plus, you shouldn't extend your sword all the way out. Keep it closer to you."

"Oh, thanks for the tip. So, what should I do differently?"

"It varies from person to person. But I usually advise staying loose, soft as a feather, and as composed as you can be."

I supposed I should take some of his counsel to heart; after all, he was the more experienced swordsman.

"Like this...?"

I emulated his stance with a few minor adjustments to make myself more comfortable.

It was a Seigan-No-Kamae stance.

"That's more like it. You catch on pretty quickly."

Remarkably, I didn't even have to expend a Skill Point, even though changing one's stance usually doesn't required it.

"Now, whenever you're ready."

Those words were the words of someone about to counterattack you if you were to fall for it.

I considered waiting for him to speak first, a strategy I'd used against Mitsurugi before.

However, given how kindly Walther had treated me and the others, I couldn't bring myself to employ such a tactic.

I decided to stand my ground and let him take the offensive, planning to respond accordingly.

While the duel had an unlimited time frame, I wanted to conclude it sooner.

After all, the matchmaking had been a failure, and I was confident that Walther wouldn't spread disparaging rumors about Darkness.

Besides, if I lost, it wouldn't impact me in any significant way.

So, I opted to take the bait.

I rushed towards Walther, aiming for a vertical strike to the top of his head.

In response, he used enough force to disarm me, causing me to lose my weapon.

"I concede."

I admitted, with my ego surprisingly unscathed.

Walther seemed somewhat troubled.

"You loosened your grip, didn't you..."

His words were quickly drowned out by the other two girls, who shouted at me.

"Huh?! After all that sword training, you lose to this guy, Kazuma?! If you can't defeat him, how can you possibly take on the Demon King?"

"Kazuma, you should be better than that. You effortlessly defeated that massive golem. Are you not giving it your all...?"

Darkness voiced her disappointment, while Aqua's comments were best left ignored.

"It's a wooden sword. Kiritsu is the one doing all the work. It is a cheat-item after all."

Darkness bit her lips and grabbed another wooden sword from the rack and adopting a combat stance.

"Nonsense. I'll give you a fight you can't take lightly. Face me, Kazuma. Or I'll bruise you up and have Aqua heal you repeatedly...!"

Yikes!

"W-Why this sudden demand? There's really nothing left to prove! I've already lost!"

"You lack confidence, Kazuma! Just because Walther is more attractive and a more accomplished swordsman than you doesn't mean you shouldn't give it your all!"

You just took more of my confidence away now, Ojou-sama.

"Do you two perhaps duel everyday as well? That must be rough..."

Even Walther was now regarding me with sympathy.

Damn, I couldn't back down now.

"Fine, you want to fight me? Let's do it!"

I retrieved my wooden sword and tightened my grip on the hilt.

Although I hadn't previously engaged in combat with this woman, the countless times she had landed punches directly on my face couldn't be disregarded.

I was determined to reclaim my pride as a man.

"Great, that's the spirit, Kazuma! I've always wanted to spar with you! You're a despicable man who dared to steal my bra the moment we met, and you've employed all manner of underhanded tricks. Come at me, and hold nothing back!"

It seemed we were of the same mind on this matter.

As for you, Walther, you can switch from that pained look to one of pity now.

I extended my empty hand and chanted:

"Create Water!"

And I poured water over Darkness's head.

"Eh?"

Walther seemed surprised, and I asked with confusion:

"What's wrong?"

In a panic, Walther replied:

"It's... It's nothing. It's just that in a wooden sword match, magic is typically not allowed."

Ah, I see.

Regardless...

When Aqua saw Darkness's drenched appearance, she remarked:

"How scummy– as expected of Kazuma-san, the master of sexual harassment. He's really something."

Prompted by her comment, I turned my gaze toward Darkness.

Her undergarments were visible through her soaked attire, which was now torn.

Just as Aqua had mentioned before...

She really was eye-candy...

As for Walther, he couldn't bear to look at Darkness any longer. He lowered his head and dared not raise it.

"Hehehe... Observe, Walther! This is the result of our daily romantic sparring! He doesn't hesitate to drench me, exposing me at my most vulnerable! And I let it happen!"

Drenched Darkness made a statement that could easily be misconstrued.

He's already over you, quit trying to convince him that we're together, idiot!

"I didn't mean to...! Walther, we're not actually...! Ah, I don't care anymore!"

She seemed to want me to go all out. Well, then, I would do just that.

Since I'd already used magic once, using it again wouldn't hurt.

"Freeze!"

"Aaaahhh...!"

I cast freezing magic, causing the soaked Darkness to pale and clutch her shoulder.

"D- Demon...! In the midst of winter, you not only drench her with water but also freeze her with magic...?!"

Come on, don't label me as a demon!

I've encountered an actual demon before, and it wasn't pleasant!

"That's just how it is. The townsfolk call him Scumzuma or Trashzuma for a reason."

Be quiet, bitch!

"To reduce me to this state... I won't let this slide, Kazuma...!"

Darkness swung her wooden sword at me with a forceful strike.

But she missed.

Then she continued attempting to clobber me repeatedly with her wooden sword. This was not good. Things could only get worse if this dragged on.

Observing my anxious expression, Darkness seemed to taunt me as she raised her sword high.

Her strikes were strong, but her aim was off, or perhaps she misjudged the distance. She could only attack in a straight line, making it easy to evade.

"What's wrong, Kazuma? You're getting out of breath!"

Despite shivering from the cold, her skin turned red as she sweated and laughed merrily.

I'd already landed several blows on Darkness, yet she didn't utter a word.

"Darkness, that's it! Skinny Kazuma lacks stamina. He's not cut out for a prolonged battle!"

That girl better keep quiet, or I'll slash her monthly allowance in half!

"Hehe... Your movements are slowing down! Well, it's time to settle this."

Following Aqua's words, Darkness flashed an arrogant smile, discarded her useless sword, and lunged at me.

This was bad; I'd lose in a pure strength contest!

"All right, Darkness! Get him, strangle him! Puny Kazuma will never best you in a wrestling match!"

Why was she cheering Darkness on? I'd strangle that girl after this ordeal was over!

Nursing a growing grudge against Aqua, I watched as Darkness extended her arms and rushed toward me, aiming for a bear hug.

I discarded my sword, raising my hands and taking a stance to confront Darkness directly.

"You think you can beat me in a strength contest? You're underestimating me!"

Darkness shouted as she eagerly seized my hands.

"I don't know what you're planning, but the difference in strength between a Crusader like me and an adventurer like you is... Ahhh!"

Suddenly, Darkness, who had been gripping my hands confidently, let out a scream.

She attempted to withdraw her hands, but I clung tightly and taunted:

"What's the matter? Losing your confidence, Darkness? Say something! Wahaha... You don't seem to grasp that I won't engage you head-on; you've been hanging around with me for... Ahhh!"

I believed my victory was certain when I cried out due to the pain in my hand.

Darkness, who was squeezing my hands, laughed in a shrill voice.

"Fu... Fufufu... This... This is Drain Touch, right...? But before you drain my strength, I'll crush your hands first!"

"Kukuku... You can try if you can... Ahhh! It hurts!"

While she planned to overpower me with brute force, I was absorbing Darkness's stamina with Drain Touch.

Neither of us was willing to yield.

Darkness gradually overwhelmed me with her strength, but she displayed a pained expression at the same time.

Damn it, I was siphoning her stamina with Drain Touch, but her vitality appeared inexhaustible...!

"Ugh, hey Darkness! Let's make a wager! You wanted to fight me because I've done many things to infuriate you, right? So, let's strike a deal. The winner can ask the loser to do anything..."

I gritted my teeth to endure the pain while Darkness, bearing her entire weight, responded:

"You... You want to make a bet...? Fu, fufufu, stalling for time...? You're on! If I win, you'll have to prostrate...!"

This was my chance!

"Deal...! No... No take backs...!"

"Yeah, of course...! You're done! Surrender, or your hand will really...!"

Though I was gradually being overpowered, I maintained a confident expression and said:

"I'm serious! Don't regret this! Promise! After I win, I won't back down even if you come crying to me!"

Despite my disadvantage, I smirked arrogantly at Darkness. She seemed confused and lessened her grip.

"What... What do you plan to do if I lose?"

"I'll make you blush from ear to ear, something that'll have you begging for mercy...! Hehe, it's a bet! Let's settle this! I can already see you begging for forgiveness after my victory...! Just wait for your fate of pleading for mercy!"

Darkness shuddered upon hearing that.

Her strength seemed to wane, yet she continued to push me back with all her might.

"Ugh...! What... What are you plotting...? Tell me! Hurry so I can use that as motivation to win!"

"Fuhehe, it's something you can't even fathom, something even more outrageous...!"

"What...! Stop...! What is this newfound strength of yours...? It must be the Drain Touch...! It has to be...!"

Drain Touch should only be sapping vitality, but Darkness's power was diminishing, and she dropped to one knee.

Blushing, she breathed heavily, sweat dripping down her neck and collarbone.

"I'll keep draining your stamina until you pass out! Look forward to your pitiable state when you wake up!"

"Ahhh! You...! What is this peculiar sensation I'm feeling...? It's immensely gratifying, but another part of me tells me to suppress it...! I... I really am just some sheltered nobody with no experience...! What have you done to me, Kazuma...?!"

Uh oh, should I stop before she dwells on those same thoughts she once said to me before the Destroyer showed up?

Darkness remained clutching my hand as she knelt on the dojo floor, her face flushed with myriad thoughts about what I might do to her, her strength gradually fading away.

"Bringing up a bet when victory is in sight, how ruthless...! The title 'Trashzuma' really suits you...!"

"That's... That's rude!"

Darkness finally collapsed, panting heavily from her defeat.

"I... I lost..."

H-Hey, don't cry!

I wasn't actually planning to do anything weird with this girl.

Aqua rushed to Darkness to tend to her injuries.

"I heard you were in the Dojo, so I brought some beverages..."

Darkness's father arrived at precisely the wrong moment, and the basket of refreshments fell to the ground with a crash.

The house staff behind him was equally bewildered.

I followed their gaze and realized they were staring at Darkness, who was battered and bruised, with her dress torn and her soaked attire making many parts of her body visible.

Aqua was administering care to the pitiful-looking Darkness.

Walther and I exchanged glances, and Aqua pointed at both of us, proclaiming:

"They did this."

"All right, drag them out and execute them."

"No, this is a misunderstanding!"
"No, this is a misunderstanding!"

Walther and I shouted at the same time.

For the next five minutes, we diligently explained the sequence of events leading up to this situation to her father, hoping to avoid any beheadings.

Meanwhile, Aqua and Darkness were cleaning up the remnants of the 3 battles that took place in that dojo.

"Wow, Darkness, your grip strength is incredibly powerful... You crushed the handle of the wooden sword during your battle with Kazuma."

"Did I...?"

...

After Walther and I had gone to great lengths to explain, we finally managed to clear up the confusion and resolve the mess.

In the process, Walther discovered Aqua's and my true identities.

Nevertheless, it appeared that Walther had already suspected I wasn't a butler right from the start.

Darkness, the one responsible for this entire crisis, was seated beside me.

She had taken a quick bath and was now dressed casually, much like how she appeared within the mansion.

I had to admit she smelled really nice.

Finally, Darkness's father began speaking with his attention fixed on his daughter.

"My daughter isn't good at interacting with people... Even with those who are close to her. Kazuma, you're part of the same party as my daughter, correct? She doesn't open up much about herself, does she?"

"F-Father, please don't say such embarrassing things about me in front of others!"

Hearing his words, I pondered.

It was hard to say. I didn't remember much, but now that he mentioned it... I realized I didn't really know much about Darkness.

She wasn't particularly forthcoming and wasn't prone to sharing details about herself.

When she did talk, it normally gave off vibes of a noble female knight, nothing else.

"They're your friends, Lalatina. Friends shouldn't keep secrets. Besides, I enjoy talking about you to others."

Darkness appeared somewhat troubled.

However, as I let out a snort at the mention of 'Lalatina,' she clenched her fist and shot me a glare.

"Even as a Crusader, my girl was always alone... She visited the Church of Eris every day, praying to Goddess Eris, wishing for comrades to embark on adventures with. One day, she returned from the church and told me she'd met her first comrade and made a friend. She was so thrilled as she spoke to me about her female thief friend..."

I've never met this Goddess Eris before... but she sounds more useful than... this other goddess next to me...

"I find Lalatina to be a charming and capable young woman, on par with any man. If not for Kazuma, I would genuinely consider her as a potential wife."

Out of the blue, Walther made an astonishing declaration.

What's this guy saying all of a sudden?

Darkness is merely my comrade.

She seemed alluring to me at times, but that was a separate matter.

I wouldn't hesitate to intervene if someone like the landlord attempted to harm her, but if a good man came along to cherish her, I would offer my blessing.

That was the nature of our relationship.

"I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand what you're saying."

In response to my comment, Walther assumed an 'I know everything, there's no need to hide it' attitude and said:

"It's okay. You can make Lady Lalatina happier than I can. I can see how deep your trust in each other is. Your feelings for each other must be genuine, right?"

"Enough of this. Get over here. I don't care if you're the landlord's son; I'm going to give you a good beating."

"Stop, Kazuma-san! If you want to do that, do it where I can't see! Or else, I'll get arrested too!"

Aqua restrained me from behind as I struggled to use Drain Touch on Walther.

"Kekeke, hahaha!"

Suddenly, Darkness's father burst into laughter.

What's going on now? So many things have happened today; I'm nearing my limit.

Please, no more trouble.

"Yes... I understand! Mr. Walther, if no one wants to marry my daughter, would you be willing to take good care of her?"

Confronted with Darkness's father's unexpected question, Walther seemed unsure as he replied,

"Well... I suppose I'm fine with that, but my father..."

Walther appeared to have something he wanted to say to me, but Darkness's father cut him off and continued:

"Also, Kazuma."

"Eh? Me? Yes, is there something I can do for you?"

The abrupt shift in the conversation left me bewildered.

"Please look after my daughter. Please watch over her and prevent her from doing anything reckless. I'm counting on you."

What was this old man talking about?

He meant as an adventurer, right?

It would be fine then, as that's what I had been doing anyway.

Darkness, who had been silently waiting for the right moment to speak, finally stood up, and there was a devious smile on her face.

What was she thinking? I remembered what Darkness had said before the matchmaking began: 'You'll experience something so awful you'll wish you were dead.'

But I assured myself that there should be no problems, and I reminded myself that I was super cool today and could handle anything with a cool head.

"Dear father, Mr. Walther, please pretend this meeting never happened. I've been keeping this from you... I'm already pregnant with Kazuma's child..."

"What are you saying about a virgin like me? Ahhh! I didn't do anything, and you have my child? Do you think you're Mary? You're a virgin too! Watch out or I'll punch you in the belly!"

Seeing the interaction between Darkness, who rarely said anything good, and me, Walther seemed amused.

"I see. Since you're bearing Kazuma's child, I have no choice but to give up."

With that, Walther stood up.

Damn it, Darkness, can't you see he's already moved on...?

Stop trying so hard to convince him that we're in a relationship.

"I'll tell my father that I rejected this marriage proposal. That should be for the best."

Don't give up now!

"Oh, and Kazuma, perhaps next time, you can take our next duel seriously in the future."

With that, Walther bid farewell with a smile and left.

What a great guy. Please take Darkness with you...

As Darkness smiled mischievously, thinking she had succeeded, I let out a heavy sigh. It seemed I'd have to continue adventuring with this girl for a while longer.

Darkness and I then noticed that two people were acting strangely.

"Grandson... First grandson... My... My dear grandson...!"

"Ahwahwah... So Kazuma and Darkness have reached that stage before I even realized it...! I-I was too late to stop that boy...! It already happened before I knew it...! I must tell everyone...! I need to tell everyone in town...! Scumzuma and Darkness have a-"

"Why do you believe her too?!"

We spent the next thirty minutes clearing up the misunderstanding with Darkness's crying father and the easily deceived Aqua.

...

"Really, I would've rejected this matchmaking session if I knew that would happen."

"That's exactly what I wanted to say. I appreciate you for protecting me from that landlord's defamation, but please stop sacrificing yourself from now on. We were so worried when you were gone."

"What are you saying, Kazuma? You were planning to push Darkness onto that Walther guy, and now you're pretending nothing happened and painting a picture of a happy ending? Your character is too rotten!"

"That's right. You dare to claim you were concerned about me? You were ready to leave me behind in all that chaos...! And Aqua, you appeared quite enthusiastic about marrying me off, didn't you?"

Hearing Darkness's accusations, Aqua and I covered our ears.

"More importantly, you falsely declared that you were expecting my child in front of Walther and your father. Won't the other nobles come after my head because of that?"

I recalled that when we had taken a bath together, she had said something like, 'Do you know what would happen if the other nobles found out that you forced a noble lady like me to wash your back?!' or something along those lines.

"Who told you about that nonsense? The only things nobles can do is to either congratulate me or challenge you to a duel to claim me and my child."

Well, that's certainly better than being executed.

But battling custody over someone else's child?

This world...

Aqua, who had been listening to the conversation, chimed in:

"But what if Walther spreads the news to the Prince? Won't he lose interest in you? Or will he kick Kazuma's butt to win you over..."

"Hey, don't assume he'd defeat me."

"You lost to Walther. What makes you think you could beat the Prince, who has been fighting on the frontlines every day?"

Fair point.

While I remained silent, Darkness wore a troubled expression.

Eventually, she let out a heavy sigh and admitted:

"That goal I made about defeating the Demon King to marry the Prince was just a lie."

"Oh okay."

Aqua resumed exploring the town of Axel as we headed back to the mansion.

"Mkay."

I resumed back to walking back to my mansion.

"You guys... I expected the two of you to be stunned after I lied to you guys for so long..."

"Darkness has always kept secrets from us. I wouldn't even be surprised if that lie was covered up by another lie."

"Yeah, considering everything that's happened between us, I'd probably be 6 feet underground by now if we counted the day we first met."

"Grr... Mentioning that at a place and time like this... The reason I want to defeat the Demon King is because of a promise I made to my mother."

Ah, a promise to a mother.

Speaking of mothers, I hadn't seen Darkness's mother during our time at the mansion.

Should I ask? I had a feeling that I shouldn't.

"Oh, where was your mom all this time, Darkness? I bet she looked exactly like you."

Aqua asked with a cheery smile.

You idiot!

"My mother passed away when I was only 9 years old. She suffered from an unknown illness that my father didn't want to tell me about. We made many promises to each other, and I intend to fulfill them. Defeating the Demon King is just one of the many promises."

I felt terrible now.

"I see... I'm sorry about that."

"There's no need to be sorry. Don't worry."

"Don't worry, Darkness. As a goddess, and after hearing what you just said, I'm sure your mother passed away peacefully with no regrets."

"I-I see... Thank you, Aqua."

As we finished our conversation and continued toward our destination:

"Right... About our bet, Kazuma... What do you intend to do to me...? Do you truly intend to do what you said back at the dojo?"

Darkness had a hint of redness on her cheeks as she asked me.

Well, I did say some very inappropriate things that I intended to do with her.

But what should I do now?

I only said it to mess with her and undermine her will.

No... Isn't this a good opportunity?

She did say that her promise to marry the Prince was all a lie.

That's right. She never had a crush on the Prince the entire time.

Which means she is open to having anyone as her lover...

Which means that I could...

"A-Aqua-san, why are you standing so close to me?"

"I'm just wondering, what kind of request will Kazuma make? Are you going to ask Darkness to do something terrible? Hey, I know you were frustrated because Darkness made us so worried, but don't go overboard, all right?"

"A-about that, let's discuss this after we return to the mansion..."

I stalled for time and opened the door to the mansion.

"Boo...! Sniff...! That's too mean–! Megumin's a meanie!"

"It's about time you stop crying! Kazuma and the others should be back soon, they'll think I'm at fault if they see this... Ah!"

What we saw was Yunyun sniveling near the door of the mansion.

As I locked eyes with Megumin, who was consoling her, I closed the door softly.

Someone pulled the door open forcefully.

"Don't pretend you didn't see anything, I can explain this!"

"No, it's fine. I already know you like to bully others."

I said calmly to the panicking Megumin, who was rushing out of the door.

"That's wrong! To be honest, when Yunyun and I were classmates...! No, that's not important right now! It's not the time to be so worked up over Yunyun...!"

Megumin said, waving her staff around in a panic.

"Not important! You, you say I'm not important...! No need to get worked up over me...! Wah, wahhh–!"

"Ahhh! Enough, you're troublesome...! Excuse us for a moment, the two of us need to talk!"

Megumin closed the door and talked with Yunyun in the mansion about something.

Not long later, the door opened again, and Yunyun left while sniveling.

"I-I'm sorry for disturbing everyone..."

Yunyun bowed deeply and walked away.

What was with that?

We looked at each other, and could only watch as the sorrowful Yunyun left.

Entering the mansion again, we saw Megumin sitting tiredly on the carpet.

When Megumin saw us, she stood up immediately.

"Kazuma, bad news! This is bad news!"

"I know. From what I just saw, there's plenty of bad news."

"That's not it! Never mind Yunyun for now! That was just a squabble between us, don't mind it! I'll explain it to you when we're free!"

No, I'm really concerned about what happened just now.

But Megumin was still acting as if now was not the time to be discussing this.

"It really isn't the time to be talking about this! The situation is bad, it's that prosecutor! That one called Sena is on her way here! She declared that she'll definitely arrest Kazuma this time!"

She told me with a pale, panicking face.