(Fingers crossed that this chapter isn't a complete dumpster fire...)

"Did we have to ride in this piece of junk?! I'm pretty sure just being in it is a health hazard!"

Pacifica had her hand clamped down over her hair, trying unsuccessfully to stop it from being blown completely into disarray and yelping as the golf cart drove over a pothole.

"Do you want to walk instead?" Dipper demanded. "Because that can be arranged!"

Pacifica scowled, but slumped down in her seat without further comment.

Even when she's trying to be better than her parents, she's still a royal pain.

Dipper wished they'd had an extra walkie talkie they could have left at the Shack.

Or that Mom and Dad had been able to afford cell phones for both him and Mabel.

Or that they had arranged some other form of long distance communication, so he could find out whether or not the rest of the Zodiac had been found and retrieved.

In an attempt to distract himself from his worries, he tried to imagine what gathering all of them together would do.

All Great Uncle Ford knew was that if they "joined together," they would be able to stop Bill.

Soos had suggested that maybe that meant if they all held hands, they would turn into symbol-based superheroes with "total radness powers," but somehow Dipper didn't think that was likely, even in a place so given to unlikeliness as Gravity Falls.

…Of course, if it did turn out to be something like that, then he wondered what kind of powers the symbol of the pine tree would give him.

Off the top of his head, he couldn't think of anything as cool as the kind Mabel's shooting star would probably give her. Unless maybe he started having chlorokinesis abilities? He could definitely learn to work with that…Ooh, or maybe he'd be able to grow as tall as a pine tree? I mean, he already had the size crystal flashlight, so he wouldn't necessarily need an ancient prophecy to help with that-

"LOOK OUT!"

A hulking figure had clomped out into the road ahead of them, before coming to a swaying halt right in the center.

Dipper barely hit the brakes in time to stop the cart from colliding head-on with it, and he felt a sharp pain lance across his chest from slamming against the seatbelt. It was only thanks to the amount of time he'd spent driving this thing that they didn't end up tipping over.

He looked up, panting, and saw a chiseled chest covered in coarse brown fur, partially covered by a drooping gray beard and even droopier mustache. Not to mention a very familiar pair of fists…in a spot where you wouldn't usually expect fists to be.

"...Testosteraur? Is that you?"

Dipper wasn't sure how to feel about this; he hadn't seen the manotaur since earlier this summer, and since it had been after he'd called him and his people jerks for wanting him to cut off one of the Multi-Bear's heads…he had a feeling this meeting might not go well. And what the heck was he doing so far from the Man-Cave, without the rest of the manotaurs anyway?

Testosteraur staggered a little on his hooves, almost like he was drunk, before flashing a wide, toothy grin at him. "Yep, that's definitely me, just your old pal Testy here to catch up on old times! How's it hanging, Pine Tree?"

Dipper's mouth went dry.

His already sweaty hands were suddenly slick against the steering wheel.

He tried to subtly reach for the reverse switch, but before he could even touch it a meaty hand clamped on the front of the cart with a crunch of metal and plastic.

"Ah ah ah," Bill scolded, shaking a finger at him; his unnaturally yellow eyes gleamed with dark delight. "You know it's rude to run off when someone wants to talk with you! I really expect better from you pitiful meat sacks!"

"Uh, dude?" Soos's voice was uncertain, but beginning to quaver into pure nervousness. "That voice sounds kinda familiar. That's not really Test-Testo-he's not in there right now, is he?"

"Wow, Question Mark, you really can be quick on the uptake when you wanna be!" Bill leaned his full weight onto the hood, still wearing that cheerful grin. "And honestly, I'm kinda flattered you remember my voice! Almost makes me wanna forgive you for blasting me in the eye with all those giant neon question marks!"

"Wow, really?"

The smile disappeared in a flash. "No. I really, really want to tear a question mark-shaped hole in your gut and pull your intestines out through it. But instead-" the manic grin returned as quickly as it had gone- "I'm gonna keep all of you alive until I can have a talk with old Fordsie! We've got a deal to make!"

And then he started to raise his hand.

Dipper wasn't sure what Bill was planning to do. Hoist the cart into the air and carry them off in it? Grab them right out of their seats? Bend the metal until it formed a makeshift cage around them? He could honestly see him carrying out any of these actions-or none of them, and do something completely unpredictable instead.

But before the demon could have a chance to act, Pacifica lifted her arm and gave him a spray right in the face from a bottle of perfume.

Bill gave an ear splitting shriek, and lost his grip on the cart as he staggered back, scrubbing furiously at his face-particularly his eyes.

Dipper wasted no time in starting up the engine again, and steering around him before taking off frantically towards the Shack, and safety.

"You're gonna regret that!" Pacifica yelled, twisting around until she could glare at the massive figure they were leaving in the dust. "Just a squirt of Enfant Riche Gâté costs twenty bucks!"

"I don't think they care about money where he's from!" Dipper skidded around the corner on two wheels; already he could feel the ground starting to shake under the impact of pursuing hooves.

He'd seen how fast the manotaurs could run; how strong they were. And he'd had first hand experience of how cunning and intelligent Bill was.

If they couldn't find some way of slowing him down…keeping him away from the Shack until they'd figured out how to complete the ritual…they were dead. Probably literally, now that they'd actually made him mad.

Think think think! We're in the real world, not the mindscape, so we can't use our imaginations against him-but maybe-

It was a crazy thought, but Mabel had been able to successfully use Dipper's weaknesses against Bill when the demon was possessing him, and the manotaurs had only one weakness that he knew of.

He jerked the wheel around, steering the cart back towards the forest.

"What are you doing?!" Pacifica demanded frantically. "He's coming after us!"

"I know! I have an idea!" With one hand, he reached into his vest and yanked out…a package of beef jerky.

And, with a mental apology to Testosteraur, he began looking for a deep ravine or something that he could throw it into.

For those of you wondering how Bill managed to possess Testosteraur in the first place, I imagine it was something like this: Bill, turning up in Testosteraur's dreams while he was taking a nap: "Hey, big guy! Bet you're not strong enough to keep me from taking over your mind while you're sleeping!" Testosteraur, incensed: "You're on!"