—

I loved you: love is still, perhaps,

My soul has not died out completely;

But let it no longer trouble you;

I do not want to make you sad.

I loved you silently, hopelessly,

Tormented now by timidity, now by jealousy;

I loved you so sincerely, so tenderly,

Likewise may someone love you next.

- "I Loved You" by Alexander Pushkin, 1830

—

"What did you think?" Blanca asked.

Eiji's eyes were clouded and sad but he dodged Blanca's blow effortlessly, gliding around the ring in an elegant dance.

"It's a very sad poem," Eiji said. "But it has love and hope in it."

"Hope is what makes it sad," Blanca said, throwing another punch. Eiji dodged him and slipped out of reach. "The unwillingness to let go."

"I think it's about sacrifice," Eiji said. "Doing anything for the person you love, even if it means your own loss."

His memories fluttered to his mother. Blanca took the opening and charged. Eiji stepped aside at the last minute and maneuvered behind the Russian.

Blanca turned but Eiji stayed behind him, landing a blow whenever Blanca turned in the wrong direction.

"Have you ever loved someone like that?" Eiji asked.

Blanca's movements slowed. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "Yes… once. A girl from Belarus."

Blanca whirled around suddenly but Eiji had seen the tension in his muscles give away the move. He stuck out his foot and stepped back as his opponent toppled to the ground.

Blanca laughed, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. "You're getting much better."

"Better? I beat you."

Blanca smiled and got to his feet. "Don't push your luck."

He pulled off his gloves and Eiji took the signal that practice was over and began to unwrap his hands.

"Who was she?" Eiji asked.

Blanca glanced up and then looked away, frowning. "My wife."

"What happened to her?"

"She died," Blanca said simply.

He looked up at Eiji, his eyes uncharacteristically kind and vulnerable. "What about you? Is there anyone you love?"

Eiji lowered his eyes and focused his attention on the bruises on his knuckles, rubbing them gingerly.

They were still dancing around each other in the ring. Whether with words or blows, they were always in this dance, looking for an opening, waiting for a chance to strike.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. "No. The only people I can remember are my family. And they're all dead."

The sadness in his eyes was real, because for all he knew it was true.

There was no one left who loved him.

—

Ash glanced at Eiji. The countryside slipped past them but Eiji wasn't watching the blue skies and rolling fields. His eyes glared, troubled by some dark and distant memory.

Eiji must have felt Ash watching him because he looked up and the darkness in his eyes abated.

"I'm sorry."

Ash shook his head, "It's okay." He glanced at Eiji again. "Blanca must have really done something to piss you off."

Eiji's jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists.

Ash's voice was soft and gentle, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Eiji looked up and his eyes filled with tears.

—

"He won't do it," Blanca said.

Golzine looked up from the papers on his desk. "What do you mean?"

"Eiji won't fight anyone but me, and now he won't even pick up a gun."

"You're not trying hard enough," Golzine said.

"I am," Blanca snapped in frustration. "Even when they're murderers or rapists, he flat out refuses. He won't kill anybody. He isn't motivated by pain or greed. Family, friends, a beloved kindergarten teacher - he has no one left. There's no leverage."

Golzine frowned and shuffled his papers into a neat stack, contemplating. There was something dark brewing behind his eyes and he smiled. "Then I guess we'll have to find someone."

—

"Fucking bastards!" Max shouted as the thugs threw him into the cell. "Kidnapping an officer of the law is a felony!"

"So is murder," the thug grinned.

Max swallowed hard and took a step back.

"This is what you get for poking around Golzine's business," the other thug laughed.

The heavy door closed and locked behind him. Max snarled and paced the room. He was so angry it took him a minute to realize he wasn't alone. The boy stared at him from a dark corner.

"Who are you?" Max spat. "Are you here to kill me?"

He turned and yelled at the door of the cell. "You think I won't hurt him just because he's a kid? I'll fucking murder you all!"

He kicked the door angrily and then leaned back against it, contemplating. The boy was watching him warily.

"I will fucking murder you if you come near me," Max snarled, sinking to the ground against the wall at the far corner of the cell. The boy obediently stayed where he was. Max glowered and crossed his arms.

Max didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he jolted awake at the sound of a loud clang. He looked up but the boy hadn't moved from the corner, his dark, quiet eyes still watching him. Well, at least he hadn't murdered Max in his sleep.

The latch clicked and the cell door swung open. Max glared as one of the thugs leveled a gun at him.

A second thug looked across the cell at the boy. The thug spoke in Japanese. "He wants you."

The boy stood slowly. He winced as the thug grabbed him by the back of the neck and hauled him from the room.

Max watched the door close and tried to settle back in to sleep. But he couldn't shake that look he had seen in the boy's eyes.

The cell door opened again, hours later, and the boy was unceremoniously tossed into the cell, the door slamming shut behind him.

The boy stumbled to the corner, wincing and whimpering quietly as he sank down against the wall. Even in the dim light, Max could see the dark marks of fresh bruises across his pale skin.

Max stood and the boy shrank back in fear as he approached.

"Please don't," he whimpered.

Max knelt down beside him. "Take it easy, kid. Are you hurt?"

The boy held his wrist like it hurt to move it. He cried out in pain as Max gently took his hand and inspected it.

"I think it's fractured," Max said quietly. "And you're covered in bruises. What'd you do, fall down a flight of stairs?"

Then Max noticed the blood.

Eiji pulled his hand away, tears of pain and shame in his eyes. "Go away."

"Would if I could, kid. We're caught in the same trap. Will you let me help?"

Eiji's eyes were dark and scared. "I don't trust you."

"I don't trust you either," Max said. "But it looks like we have a common enemy. Least I can do is help."

Max looked down at the sleeping boy beside him. His wrist was wrapped in a strip of cloth torn from Max's shirt. The boy's eyes fluttered anxiously in his sleep.

Everyone knew Golzine was the don of the drug empire and shipped guns and weapons overseas, even if no one could pin him down on it. But Max had never suspected his involvement in the underground trafficking ring. How long had the boy been here? And why were they leaving Max alone with him? Perhaps neither of them seemed enough of a threat to worry about.

Max grit his teeth. He'd show them.

Eiji's eyes suddenly snapped open and he sat up. Max was about to speak when he heard a door open and footsteps approach. The guards were laughing and talking rowdily.

The voices were just outside their cell door now and seemed to be discussing something, though Max couldn't make out what they were saying. There was a drunken laugh and the door opened.

"-get me a piece," the thug laughed.

Eiji pressed back against the wall as if trying to disappear into the shadows. The thug looked around and smiled.

"Boy, come here. I've got an itch you can help me scratch." He laughed and took a step forward.

Max stood and moved in front of Eiji protectively. "Fuck off. You're drunk."

The thug blinked at him heavily and then smiled. "Damn right, I'm drunk. Now where is that kid?"

"You'll regret it in the morning," Max snarled. "If your boss doesn't make you pay for it, I sure as hell will."

The thug frowned, his alcohol-sodden mind trying to work through the threat.

His friend stepped forward and pulled him back. "Come on, he's right. You'll find your head on a plate if you touch the boss's kid."

He grabbed his drunken compatriot by the arm and pulled him from the room.

"Thank you," Eiji said quietly.

Max turned on him. "You're Golzine's son?"

Eiji's eyes widened and he blinked in surprise. "N-no, I…"

"You're a plant," Max growled. "Here to spy on me? Get me to talk?"

"No!"

"Then why are you here? Why would they put me with you?"

Eiji lowered his eyes. "I- I think they want me to kill you."

Max took a step back, his fists clenching at his side. "Why haven't you then?"

Eiji looked up at him and there was something new in his eyes, a spark of defiance. "I won't become a killer. I'd rather die than be like them."

"Even if they hurt you?"

Eiji looked away. "There's nothing more they can do to me."

Max shook his head and sat down. He studied the boy across from him, but a different child filled his mind. Max's son was only five years old. Michael would be waiting at the front porch of their house, wondering why his dad hadn't come back. Jessica would be worried. They had had a fight recently, but Max would fix things. He just had to get back and everything would be alright.

Max closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He had to get back to them. No matter what.

It had been weeks. The thugs shoved food and water through the cell door. Occasionally they took Eiji away, only for the boy to reappear hours later, covered in fresh hurts and bruises. Max tried fighting them off but it only resulted in a sharp crack to the head.

Max had several cuts from such blows now and his head throbbed in a way that made him suspect a mild concussion.

Max shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, the hard ground grinding into his back. The only comfort he had to combat the damp chill of the cell was Eiji, pressed against him for warmth.

Max was dreaming. He hated dreams. He just wanted to sleep.

They're ready, a faceless figure spoke in his dream. It's been long enough.

Max missed his soft mattress at home. He missed his wife. His son. He wanted to get away. Get away from the cold, bare floor and these voices that spoke in the darkness of his dreams.

What if it breaks him? a second voice asked.

Then we'll use the other.

In the dream, Max's son Michael stood before him, his small face was sad and eyes full of tears. Max reached for him to comfort him and saw with horror that his son held a knife. Michael grabbed Max's shoulder, his small hands stained with blood.

Max startled awake, shaking in a cold sweat. He looked up and saw Eiji's hand on his shoulder. The boy looked at him and then glanced to the door. Max stood as footsteps appeared and the door unlocked and swung open.

"Come with us. Both of you."

Max struggled as the thugs pulled him from the room. Eiji followed nervously, glancing at the guns the thugs held in their hands. They were escorted through a maze of underground hallways and through a set of stainless steel doors.

Max's eyes widened when he saw the laboratory.

"Aw, hell no."

Max turned and rammed his elbow into one of the guard's heads and kneed the other in the groin. He gave them both an extra kick to the head for good measure, dropping them limply on the ground.

"Come on, Eiji," Max said. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

He grabbed Eiji by the hand and ran for the door.

Eiji's eyes widened. "No wait! Don't-!"

Max cried out and collapsed as a bullet tore through his spine.

"Blanca, don't!" Eiji shouted. He ran in front of Max as the assassin fired two more shots. Both missed Eiji and Max cried out in pain behind him.

Eiji snarled and rammed into Blanca, knocking him off balance. Eiji grabbed his rifle and tore it from his grasp.

"Leave him alone!" Eiji shouted.

Blanca's eyes were only sad. "It's for your own protection," he said quietly.

Eiji turned as Max cried out. Abraham stood and backed away, an empty syringe in his hand. Eiji leveled the rifle at him and the doctor scampered away back behind the safety of the steel doors.

Eiji stood over Max, the gun in his hand.

"No one touches him," he snarled. "Or I'll-"

Eiji screamed and fell back as nails clawed into his leg. Max snarled, a crazed light burning in his eyes as he dragged Eiji towards him.

Eiji cried out as Max drew blood and had to kick him repeatedly before the man let go.

"Max, stop!" Eiji cried, backing away in fear.

"You have to do it, Eiji," Blanca said quietly. "If not for your own self-preservation, then for him."

Eiji looked at Max in terror as the man snarled like a rabid dog and tried to drag himself toward Eiji. His legs dragged uselessly behind him. He turned and began to claw at himself in a rage, as if his own skin was the enemy.

"Max, stop it! Please," Eiji sobbed. He looked up at Blanca. "Please make it stop."

"There is only one way to stop it," Blanca said. He nodded at the rifle in Eiji's hand. Eiji looked at him in horror.

"He will die either way," Blanca said.

A wracking sob ripped through Max and he screamed in pain and anger, writhing in agony.

There was a crack as the gun fired and Eiji's bullet punched through the metal of the army dog tag around Max's neck and found its way into the man's heart.

Max sank to the floor, finally still, the tracks of tears still staining his face. Eiji collapsed beside him, sobs heaving through his body.

—

"I am so sorry," Ash whispered.

He grabbed Eiji and hugged him tightly as Eiji sobbed into him, clinging to him desperately.

Eiji's voice was muffled against Ash's chest. "Are you angry?"

"I am beyond angry," Ash said. "But not at you. Never at you."

"But it's my fault," Eiji wept. "I killed Max. That's why Griffin went after Golzine. He was looking for me. It's all my fault."

"Eiji, you did the best you could in impossible circumstances. If I was put in the same situation, I would have made the same choice. Because it wasn't a choice at all."

Ash pulled Eiji close as the sobs ripped through him, the despair and shame of his darkest secret finally releasing in a flood of tears. Ash held him tightly, never for a second thinking of letting go.