Jane broke up with men for a lot of stupid reasons.
For Joey it was cheating off her test. And calling her frog face.
For Steve it was the movie he chose.
For Martinez it was getting her CI killed. Not just that, but physically preventing her from going after her when she still could have made a difference.
For Dean it was making her shoot Maura's father. For making Maura hate her, however brief that hate might have been. She wished Paddy had killed him. Still does sometimes, when she remembers the anger and hurt on Maura's face. Sometimes she wishes she'd shot him instead of Paddy for setting that whole thing up. For using her to get a lead.
But for Casey it was because he threw out the Marmite.
"Maura gave me that," Jane said, digging through the trash can, looking for that flash of yellow that always brightened her day.
"I got you a new one. One that's not expired," Casey said, putting it on the counter as though that made anything any better.
"Where is it?"
"I took the garbage out after you left this morning. It's gone." The congenial smile left his face, followed by concern.
"I told you not to touch it. We're done. Get out." Jane opened the door and watched as he packed quickly. "Don't you dare come back," she told him as he passed her in the doorway. "We're through." She locked the door behind her, running down to the back of the building.
"I'm sorry," he called after her, but she was already vaulting into the dumpster.
When Maura's hand tapped the side of the dumpster, Jane's head popped over the edge, still scowling.
"Frankie said you needed Marmite," Maura said, holding up a jar. "Specifically, that I needed to give you Marmite, so you could have Marmite from me." Jane shook her head, disappearing, rustling through the trash like a racoon. Occasionally Maura heard the thump of Jane hitting the dumpster in anger, or her swearing at touching something gross. "If I call Frankie, you know he's going to jump in." Jane's head appeared, filthy but excited.
"Yeah, call him. He's real good with trash. Oh. OH!" Jane disappeared again, coming up triumphantly with a jar of Marmite clenched in her hand. "YEAH!" Jane yelled, her adrenaline pumping. Maura moved forward to help her out of the dumpster, then stepped back. She grabbed a hose on the side of the building, taking the Marmite with a glove from her bag before hosing off Jane, arms spread wide and face turned to the sky, smile on her face without a care in the world.
Jane left puddles in the hall. Maura shoved her in the shower fully dressed, then went out to mop up after her so the HOA didn't try to kick her out again.
Jane came out in a towel, using a second towel to dry her hair, occasionally sniffing herself.
"I think I'm clean. Am I clean?" Maura leaned forward and sniffed Jane, giving an impressed half smile. "Okay I'm clean. Which isn't saying much because half the time we both smell like a deco." Jane threw herself on the couch. Maura had picked up some disinfectant wipes and started cleaning the original jar of Marmite, sitting beside Jane.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Maura asked. Jane groaned and turned away.
"He threw out my stuff, Maura. Stuff I told him to leave alone. There's nothing to talk about."
"Frankie said Casey said you kept yelling that I gave it to you, and how dare he. He's staying with Frankie, by the way. He seems to think you broke up with him over Marmite."
"Not the Marmite." Jane sighed. "I leave it on the counter so I see it every day. So I remember that no matter what godawful kind of day I've had, you're my friend again. That we're still friends. The little flash of yellow makes me think maybe it's not so bad. That I'm not so bad. It's like... forgiveness? Absolution? Something. It's stupid, but it's something you gave me. You get it, don't you? And it felt like he was throwing you away. I told him not to, and he did it anyway, in my house. It was really disrespectful, and I don't take disrespect. Not any more. It felt like he was trying to replace you. It made my skin crawl."
"So you went dumpster diving for two hours? Jane. I have spare Marmite. I've given you lots of things over the years. Why the Marmite?" She tilted her head, genuinely curious. Jane looked down at her hands.
"It was the first thing you gave me. After Hoyt. We were just getting to be friends. You were opening my jars for me. And you gave me this." Jane picked it up and looked at it. "And you said I'd be able to open it myself one day, and if I never did then you'd do it for me. And I never opened it because I knew I could call you. And you'd come. You'd be here, and you'd open it. When we were fighting I moved it to my bedside table and I stared at it every night. But I never called."
"I would have come," Maura admitted. "I didn't realise you'd attached so much significance to such an unassuming object."
"It's a metaphor or something, right? A simile?"
"Symbolic," Maura corrected her gently. Jane shot her a grin, picking up the jar. "Don't," Maura said when Jane reached for the lid.
"Why not?"
"If it's a symbol, let it be a symbol. So you know, any time you need me. You can call. And I'll come. Even if it's to open your expired Marmite. It's a promise, Jane, and I take those seriously." Jane shrugged, trying to hide her smile, and grabbed the new jar, twisting the top off easily, dipping her finger in.
"Oh YUCK! That is rank, Maura." Jane gagged.
"You were in a dumpster for two hours and you regularly hang out with corpses. You can handle a little Marmite."
"It wasn't about the Marmite," Jane admitted, looking over at Maura. "It just made me think he was trying to make room for himself in my life by getting rid of you. And nothing is ever going to get you out of my life. Not Casey, not Hoyt, not Dennis. No one. Nothing. You know that, don't you?"
Maura wet her lips with her tongue nervously.
"What if I said I was jealous of Casey?"
"I'm done with Casey. You don't need to be jealous of him. You won't walk in on us again." Jane shot Maura a nervous grin. "We can jog whenever you like."
"No, Jane, I mean - I wasn't just jealous of him taking up your time. I was jealous because -" Maura bit her thumbnail and looked at it absently. "Because he got to be with you. He got to date you. Would that get me out out of your life? He got to -" Maura blinked rapidly and looked away, grabbing her bag and getting to her feet.
"Maura." Jane's low voice stopped her. Made her turn back to the couch to see Jane's anguished face. "I wouldn't spend two seconds in a dumpster for anything he gave me," Jane admitted.
"Okay," Maura said slowly. "So where does that leave us?"
"I've been trying to figure that out for a while." Jane screwed the cap back on the Marmite and put it down, making a decision and getting to her feet. She strode over to Maura in two short steps and kissed her.
They'd kissed before, on the cheek. Both cheeks when Maura was feeling cosmopolitan. But never quite on the mouth. Circling, perhaps, drawing closer every time. But Jane, emboldened by her near loss of something incredibly important, went for it, pressing her lips to the soft mouth she watched so often, feeling Maura open up to her, hearing Maura's purse drop to the floor.
"You taste terrible," Maura said when Jane pulled away. Her face and chest were flushed, and her hand was on Jane's ass under the towel.
"I taste like Marmite," Jane said, quirking her eyebrow and leaning in again.
Casey always maintained that Jane had broken up with him over a stupid jar of Marmite, but Jane knew that she had a good reason. The best reason.
She had Maura.
Notes:
Finished this and I'm imagining the call Frankie makes to Maura.
"Oh. Marmite? Sure, I have some around here. Yes, I gave her some, oh, it must have been five years ago. I didn't know she liked it that much. Oh, Casey? Kicked out, you say? Over the Marmite? Well, of course it's expired - we all know that - but if she wants to keep it, it's her house, isn't it? Oh, he's staying with you until they 'sort it out', is he? Hmmm. Oh, found the Marmite. She's in the dumpster out back? Really? How long ago? Hm, I'd better head down there now. No, you did the right thing, calling me. I'll sort it all out. Thanks, Frankie."