Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Response...

biob1: Yes, I USED to watch family guy...now I don't anymore(It's made me too uncomfortable). But thank you for the compliment.

MysterD47: Uh, not a FEW days...a whole week. I go on a week long fast from fanfiction/anime/manga both to broaden my horizons and as an tribute to my lord and savior. I repeat this every two weeks. Sorry, I've already seen these two. Anyway, your two updates should be already up, enjoy!

nightmaster000: Thank you. Uh, what martian are you talking about? I'm mainly focusing on Gravity falls..and to a lesser extent pokemon and jungle book

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AN: This chapter is a reward for 'WenDip and Pinecest' for doing my 'Shake up the falls' story challenge, give him/her story a read!

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AN: This chapter was collaborated by Wolvenstrom

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"Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay okay, okay, okay, okay." Repeated Dipper over and over as he paced nervously in front of the Shack trying to calm himself.

He then turned to Stan, "How did this happen?" He finally asked. Stan casually shrugged, "So there I was playing poker with the devil-

"Wow, not even half a sentence and I already have so many questions." Interrupted Dipper.

Wendy- also trying very hard not to freak out -was equally dumbfounded, " Yeah. Like "how did you get into a poker game with 'the devil'.", "why were you in a poker game with 'the devil'." and the big one "how STUPID do you have to be, with all of the libraries full of stories about NOT making a bet with the devil, to play a game of poker against 'The Devil'!" She exclaimed.

Stan again just shrugged like it was no big deal, "Well for starters I didn't know it was 'the Devil' little Ms Vamperella. It's not like he had horns, a tail and a big flashing neon sign saying "Hi, I'm Satan."

The two looked between each other. She didn't know who Vamperella was, but felt she should be much more offended. Stan continued, "Their I was ridding high on fixing the slot in Vegas...when a big shot pops up out of nowhere, not only dose he see through my scam but my disguise as well!

"Wait, why were you wearing a disguise?" Asked Mable confused. Stan Winched. "Trust me sweetie...you don't want to know how many answers that question has."

Stan quickly continued before any awkward follow-up questions- Surprisingly, he not only doesn't have me kicked out, but introduces himself as the bookie of a very exclusive game played between some V.I.P.'s- And invites me to join! So we start playing. And other guys start looking to join the game."

"These guy's. The 'Lords of the underworld'?" Asked Dipper dryly while resisting the urge to pinch his nose.

Stan chuckled, "It's the most important rule of the con kiddo. And these guys are the biggest con artists in the universe. So anyway your uncle was doing great. Raking it in like gangbusters. These chuckleheads seemed more interested in each other over than me, to them I was just some yahoo who just so happened to be there. They were so busy trying to one up and screw over each other that they barely paid attention to me and I was making out like gangbusters. Like that time I got away scot free with all the cash from that mob game I got pulled into..."

Dipper muttered under his breath about something but let his grunkle continue, "So as the night kept going the pots kept getting bigger, this one guy. Uh whosit's name again? Eh can't remember 'Him' saying. Upped the anty with property, then the others did the same. Now at this point I could have ducked out with the fat stack of lot I got, but then I thought how it'd be even nicer if it was a 'fatter stack' and-

"Oh dood. You didn't bet the shack did you Mr. Pines?" Asked Soos worried.

"Hey I was on a hot streak!" Defended Stan. "Ok, Ironic metaphor aside. This is the 4th time you bet the shack." Pointed out Wendy.

"This week." Added Dipper.

Stan waved a hand dismissively, "Details, details. So I bet the shack...and then I noticed the floor was starting to shake, and I think at one point I saw an elephant."

Dipper couldn't believe what he was hearing! "Wait...you bet the shack, and who knows what else...while drunk?"

Stan laughed, "No...I bet the shack, and who knows what else while drunk...AND WON!...hence why I'm now the proud owner of a large stack of money. A nice house in the Bermuda Triangle, this sweet 'get out of eternal torment free card' for when I die (the fact that it's basically a license to do whatever I want with no regard to the consequences for the sake of my eternal soul non-withstanding) and this coffee mug that keeps your coffee hot forever. And you have a harem of beautiful demonic princesses, including red and sunburnt here."

Wendy, Dipper and the others just stared at him speechless...they didn't know what to say...what could they say in such a insane situation?

"So yeah...Your welcome." Stated Stan flatly.

"Wait, none of this explains how I'm now married to Dipper...or why- or HOW I'm a vampire!" Pointed out Wendy frustrated.

To this Stan looked at her baffled, "I'm just as confused about that as you are- I literally didn't know you'd be involved in this until 5 minutes ago when I saw your name attached to the marriage certificate that the other girls brought with them- By the way, we should REALLY check on them, It's never an idea to keep girls waiting- doubly sure for underworld girls, triply sure if the girls are your WIVES!" Stan laughed at his joke in the last line...no one else did...

Still they took his point...Dipper takes a deep breath...and goes to see the girls he's to spend the rest of his life with...or failing that, the girls who could rip out his heart and dissect his families souls if he ticked them off...no pressure...

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TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

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