Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Deep beneath the bowls of Gravity Falls...lies a spaceship...A spaceship filled with the meager remnants of a once grand civilization!

But these 'Roswell-Grey' aliens were not distraught by their dire straits! For they were justly ruled by their wise(if sorta silly) King Xerxes! Who was at this moment discussing their people's future with his trusted second in command Haman!

"You want to do what!? Exclaims a baffled Haman. Xerxes smiles and points to the numerous screens that show all that was happening in Gravity Falls. And all of them showed a 12 year-old boy in various misadventures.

"I've decided to make Dipper Pines my successor! The poor boy has suffered catastrophe, humiliation and heartache...Yet never gives up! That's the sort of spirit I want my people to emulate! I'll reveal our existence to him and give him the opportunity on his birthday! I'll leave the details of the celebration party to you! Chop-Chop! We have much to do!" Shouts the King as he leaves the room.

Haman just looks dumbstruck. His henchmen Buzz and Delete just look confused. "But boss...I thought you were going to be his successor?" Asks a confused Delete.

Haman growls. "I will be Delete...one way or the other." He gestures toward them. "Do a song and dance number...it helps me think." He says simply.

Buzz and Delete nodded eagerly like all of their species; they loved spontaneous choreography!

(music starts)

Buzz and Delete put their hands behind them and pace back in forth rhythmically as they sing

Oh no! What we gonna do?
The king likes Dipper More than me and you

Oh, no! What we gonna do?
We gotta get him out of here!

Oh no! What we gonna do?
The king likes Dipper More than me and you

Oh, no! What we gonna do?
We gotta get him out of here!

We could throw him in the dungeon
We could let him rot in jail.

Haman considers this...but shakes his head. "No, too conspicuous."

We could drag him to the ocean
Have him eaten by a whale

Again, Haman shakes his head. "No, too geographically inconvenient."

We could throw him in a Tiger, let him float a while

Then we'll all sit back and watch him meet a hungry crocodile!

"Too much animal involvement...I'm on thin ice with the animal rights groups as it is."

We could put him on a camel's back, And send him off to Ur

With a cowboy hat without a brim, A boot without a spur

Haman looks at them confused. "What good would that do?...dose Ur even exist anymore?"

We could give him jelly doughnuts, take them all away

Or we could fill his ears with cheese balls and his nostrils with sorbet

Haman shakes his head. "Okay, now your not even trying!" He snaps annoyed!

We could use him as a footstool, or a table to play Scrabble on

Then tie him up, beat him up, and throw him out of Babylon!

And then inspiration struck. "OR-" Interjects Haman with a smirk.

Suddenly he and his men huddle and whisper their conspiracy in hushed tones.

-"I like it!"

-"It's sneaky"

"And it just-

-"Might"-

-"Work!"

"One more time!" Shouts Delete eagerly, and the others oblige

We could use him as a footstool, or a table to play Scrabble on

Then tie him up, beat him up, and throw him out of Babylon!

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

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