Golf Wars lost
...
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
I THANK AND OWE GOD EVERYTHING!
...III...
The Lilliputtians were busily at work rigging the game to win that wondrous sticker-
CRACK!
And then Pacifica opened up their realm-
GAH!
They both screamed at the sight of each other, "Your really real!? Gasped Pacifica in disbelief. "I i mean I know Dipper fought tooth and nail to SOMEWHAT convince me, but I never-
Pacifica quickly takes a deep breath and composes herself, "Okay, Pacifica... WIN first, have existential crisis LATER." She reassures herself...
She then gives the patent Northwest smile, "Okay ladies and gentleman: what will it take for you to let ME win this?" She asked eagerly...
...
Big Henry takes a deep breath as he braces himself for what will probably lead to his death, he begins to move to golf ball toward the gas-filled corridor-
BAM!
"Whoa! Whoa!" Shouts Pacifica as she slams her hand down to block him. "Okay! Okay! Geez! You win alright! Mable beats me on this ONE hole, but you still win okay? Just don't kill yourself!"
'I mean I want to win, but let's not go nuts here...' She thinks to herself as she saunters off...
...
Pacifica stuck her tongue at Mable as she saunters away. "Better luck next time old maid!" She taunted as she headed out.
Mable was distraught...how did she lose? She had it in the bag but suddenly it all turned against her!
Mable was so beside herself she began to nervously pace back and forth and puzzled over what happened...
I...Don't understand...what happened to the Lilliputtians? We had a deal! And where's Dipper?!
GASP!
Speak of the devil...
"Psssst! Mable! Over here!" Whispers Dipper deep inside the tall grass...
Mable glares at him, "Dang it Dipper! Where were you! Pacifica Steamrolled me and I could've REALLY used your hel-
And only THEN did she notice Dipper's state...all dirty and sweaty...covered in lipstick...ANNNNNNNNND...
"I'm sorry...are you naked?" Asked Mable both confused and amused...
Dipper chuckled nervously... "Right...funny story about that..."
Dipper fiddled with his thumbs frantically as he tried to figure how best to phrase this without ticking off Mable further then she probably already would be...
"Pacifica REALLY wanted to know how you were beating her...so she cornered me...and you know how bad I am with girls..." He admitted reluctantly...only to shiver under Mable's glare...
Yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhhh...good luck with that Dipper...
"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO." Said a pissed off Mable...
Dipper groaned, "look...one thing lead to another and I sorta...kinda...accidentally... told her EVERYTHING..."
"WHAT?!" Shrieked her twin.
HONK!
She turned around just in time to see the Lilliputtian tribes each get inside their own separate, custom-made solid gold, jewel encrusted limousines...
"Sorry Mable! Nothing personal, but not only did she give us all our own limo's but we all get our own PERSONAL mini-golf courses! Each with OUR theme! No more rivalry, we ALL win! I'm glad you understand! BYE!" Said Franz quickly as he jumped inside and drove away with the rest before Mable could respond...
Mable just gaped at this turn of events in disbelief...
"But then she stole my clothes! So- heh -I guess we both had a bad day? So...no hard feelings right?" Asked Dipper awkwardly...
Mable's face went red with fury...she looked like she was about to let him have it...then an evil grin came to her mouth...
She got her cellphone out and quickly made a call... "Hey Grunkle Stan! I'm ready to go! Dipper will be going home on his own, so we don't need to wait for him! Let's just leave!" She says wickedly as she gives her best 'witchy' grin to a horrified Dipper.
"WHAT!? NO! Come on on Mable! It's FIFTY miles to the Shack! AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO RAIN TONIGHT!" Pleads Dipper desperately from within the confines of the tall grass!"
Mable just gave a Cheshire grin, "Don't worry bro-bro, I'm not THAT cruel..."
And for a moment...Dipper felt hope...
"So I'm going to call WENDY to pick you up!"
Which immoderately shattered...because of COURSE it did...
Mable said all this nastily as she sprinted away before Dipper can do anything...
Wait, what?! NO!" Screamed Dipper, he risked trying to leave the tall grass to get after her...
HONK!
"And to your left we have a pathetic, scrawny, naked girl...oh, wait, it's a boy. LET'S LAUGH HARDER!"
Dipper was sobbed as his dive back into the tall grass was too late to prevent the dozens of photos and wolf-whistles from the random tourist bus that would make him a laughingstock...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account! Adopt whatever you want!
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