Part Two
By the time Tony came back, Bruce was gathering whatever might be useful from the cabinets and laying them out on the counter – gauze, burn gel, medical tape, pretty much everything they had. Holding them out of Loki's view, Tony presented three pairs of pliers of different sizes. "These good?"
"Yeah, those should work." Bruce looked bleak and distracted as he laid them down next to a pair of forceps.
Tony stood next to him and lowered his voice. "How you doin'?"
"I can't do this."
"It'll be fine. I don't think he's gonna be any trouble while he's... like that."
"I'm not worried about that. I'm just not–" Bruce glanced at Thor to make sure he wasn't listening. "I don't know how much I can do. This is a little beyond my... various areas of training."
"Well, you're smart. Plus you have me and a" –Tony looked around the room dubiously– "brand new med bay to help you out."
"We have half a med bay," Bruce snapped, "I'm not that kind of doctor, and he's not even human."
Tony paused. "You're right. Not the best scenario."
Bruce resigned himself to sterilizing the pliers. Tony took one and did the same. "You don't have to do anything, you know. It is Loki."
"Why do you wanna help him?"
Tony looked over at Loki, now lying mostly still while Thor stood over him. "No one deserves that, not even him. And I never thought Thor could look so broken up. Guess he still cares."
Bruce sighed softly. "I'll do what I can, all right? It just might not be a lot."
"If you wanna bow out at any time, I can take over, okay?"
"I'll be fine."
"You know, he might actually be scared of you. I would be after what you did to him."
"Yeah, that doesn't make me feel better about... any of this."
"How's he doing really? What did he do when he woke up?"
"Uh, he hates us."
"Well, that's understandable."
"And he is scared. Whatever they did to him..." Bruce didn't finish the thought, just shook his head to clear it away.
Tony nodded, staring off into space. "We'll be careful. It'll be fine."
To everyone's surprise, Natasha came in moments later.
"Hey," Steve said, noticing she looked uneasy.
"Hey," she replied. Thor acknowledged her silently, and she offered him a brief half-smile, which faded as her gaze lingered on Loki. He saw her, but gave no reaction to her presence.
"I think we have enough hands, Nat, if you wanted to sit this out," Bruce said.
"I'll stay out of the way." She elected to stay near Steve, well away from Loki and everyone else.
"How's Clint?" he asked her.
She just shook her head.
"He left?"
"I don't know where he went."
Bruce handed Thor a towel, telling him to lay it on the pillow before returning to the counter. Thor gently lifted Loki's head, causing him to nearly lurch as he was startled from his listless state. "Sorry, brother. It's all right." He placed the towel beneath his head and let him rest again.
Natasha was watching, still tense. "How's it going?"
"Okay for now."
"So we're gonna keep SHIELD out of this completely." It wasn't a question. The sudden change in topic turned all eyes to her.
"Obviously, this doesn't need to go beyond us," Steve replied.
"Yeah, SHIELD'll be all over us if they find out he's here." Bruce went back to Loki with another towel, gauze, and a bottle of water in hand.
"Well, I'm pretty sure half the city saw Thor come in," Tony said, and Thor looked up with concern. "But they hardly ask about him anymore. And I can give everyone the week off. Someone'll have to talk Clint into keeping his mouth shut, though." He looked pointedly at Natasha.
"He won't tell anyone."
"You sure? 'Cause he's not happy with us right now."
"SHIELD will answer to me if they intervene," Thor interjected. "But I don't wish to make trouble."
Loki's eyes were darting between them as they spoke, his breathing hastening slightly. Bruce was the only one who noticed. "There won't be any trouble, all right?" he said, effectively ending the conversation. "Let's just focus on this. Discuss everything else later."
All the malice had gone out of Loki's gaze. Now there was only anxiety as he stared up at Bruce once again, fighting hard against fatigue. He held up the bottle so he could see it. "This is water. I'm just gonna rinse your mouth off a little, okay?"
He tucked the towel against his cheek and began trickling the water over his lips. Loki winced, but he kept still. He flinched back in pain when he dabbed his mouth with the gauze.
"Sorry. I'll be gentle." Bruce continued, carefully cleaning away the blood as much as he could, just enough to expose the wires more clearly. Old blood and fluid had crusted over them while fresh blood continued to seep out. Strangely, there were no signs of infection.
Bruce finished quickly and removed the wet towel, noticing that Loki's tremors had escalated again. Thor hadn't left him, still doing everything he could to keep him calm, though it didn't seem to make much of a difference. Bruce dreaded what he had to do next.
He returned to the counter and eyed the pliers. He selected the smallest pair, hoping they would be enough, and sighed. "Okay, let's do this."
"Need an extra hand?" Tony asked.
"I don't think so. Not yet."
Loki shifted as Bruce approached him, half-lidded eyes flying wide at the sight of the pliers.
"It's all right, it's all right." Thor moved to restrain him. He seemed to try and push himself up again, but only managed to lift his head slightly. An unbidden moan escaped him as it dropped back down to the pillow. "Easy, brother. It's okay." Thor rubbed his shoulder, casting a grim look at Bruce. "I'm right here."
Bruce could only offer him a silent apology for what he was about to do. He looked down at Loki with the same expression. "Loki? I have to cut the wires so I can take 'em out. I'll be careful, but you have to keep your head still for this, okay?"
Loki was all but hyperventilating as his eyes darted between him and the wretched tool.
"Are you ready?"
He looked anything but ready, hesitating for a long moment before giving an almost imperceptible nod.
"Okay. It's gonna be fine, all right? Thor, can you just... hold his head?"
Thor took his head firmly between his hands and held it against the pillow. Loki went rigid with a hoarse whimper, shaking even harder than before.
"Tilt it up just a little more."
Thor tilted his head up toward Bruce and tears began to spill down his face. He wouldn't shut his eyes, just looked up at him with an expression of such terror and pleading that any lingering contempt he might have felt was shattered in an instant.
"Just hold up your hand if you want me to stop and I will, okay? It's gonna be fine." He gripped the first stitch at the corner of his mouth with the tips of the blades, carefully slipping one beneath the wire, and Loki whimpered again. He slowly squeezed the handles, gently at first and then harder, but the wire didn't snap. "Tony, can you bring me the other ones?"
"Yeah." Tony jolted from his unpleasant observation and brought him the remaining pliers. Bruce reluctantly took the larger pair. Tony lingered beside him, watching his movements with poorly masked concern while Loki continued to watch him with dread.
Bruce gripped the wire again, and this time he managed to cut through it. While it wasn't very thick, it was apparently made of something strong because it still took a good amount of force. Loki flinched as it snapped and Bruce let out a heavy breath.
This was enough for Tony. "Hey, why don't you let me handle this part?"
Bruce paused, consciously aware of how his heart was beating a bit faster than he liked. "Yeah, okay." He stepped back, handing the pliers over to Tony. "Be careful."
"I will." Loki regarded Tony with the same panicked stare, and he genuinely pitied him. "Don't worry, big guy. I have steady hands."
He began cutting the wires, one by one. Loki flinched each time – he couldn't help it – and soft sounds of pain continued to escape him as the blades dug into his lips. Thor kept him still, offering him words of comfort, but his own voice was beginning to waver.
"Last one. Here we go." It didn't take long for Tony to reach the last wire, but he was relieved when it snapped. "And we're done with that. You doing okay, Loki? You wanna catch your breath for a minute?"
Loki gave no reaction, still wrapped in anguish. Thor released him.
"Let's give him a break," Bruce suggested.
He and Tony withdrew and Thor took their place, taking Loki's hand again to soothe him. "You're doing well, Loki," he said softly. "This will be over soon." Loki still didn't react, and he crouched down to his level to look at his face. His lips were crossed with angry, bleeding lines, framed by the severed wires. Loki's eyes found their focus as they met his, and Thor felt his own tears welling up as Loki's continued to fall. "I'm so sorry."
"Can we give him painkillers or... something else?" Steve asked quietly. Thor heard, immediately standing up and looking to Bruce expectantly.
Bruce sounded doubtful. "You mean strong ones?"
"Well..." Steve just gestured helplessly to Loki.
"I know, but I don't have any idea how how he'll react. I really don't think we should risk it." Bruce looked apologetically at Thor. "Sorry."
Thor only looked resigned. "Do whatever you think is best."
"I just don't wanna make anything worse."
Tony leaned close to Bruce and lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "He's not gonna like it when I take those out."
"If we drug him and something goes wrong, I can't help him, okay?"
No one pressed the matter any further.
"Thor, you ready?"
Thor looked back at Tony, squeezing Loki's hand protectively. He'd calmed slightly over the short time they'd given him, and his eyes were closing again. Thor's heart sunk at the thought of what had to come next. He looked at the wires, fury boiling up beneath pity and guilt. Someone would pay for this – he would make sure of it. "Let's get it over with."
He moved to stand at Loki's head again and Tony returned to his side, forceps in one hand and a bowl in the other. Loki immediately snapped back to alertness, his breathing already picking up as panic crept back into him. He knew what was happening.
"Hey, buddy." Tony spoke softly. It felt strange, almost wrong to talk to him this way, but there was no point in hiding his sympathy, especially now. "I'm gonna take those wires out now if that's okay."
Loki let out a shaky breath. It might have been a sob.
"I'll make it quick, okay? I just need to know you're ready first." Tony didn't even know what emotions were stirring behind those icy eyes beneath the fear and trauma. It might have been hatred, or maybe just pure resignation.
"Loki, it's all right," Thor crooned above him.
"You ready?" It was a gentle plea, not a demand. Loki nodded, just barely, choking on a whimper. "All right, let's go."
Thor moved to hold Loki's head again, but Tony stopped him. "He can move his head. It's okay. If you can just..."
Thor understood, laying one hand lightly on Loki's head and the other on his shoulder, more for support than restraint. Loki jerked, beginning to hyperventilate again. "Shh, it's okay, brother."
"Here we go." Tony gripped the first wire with the forceps and started pulling. He worried it would be difficult to remove, assuming Loki had started to heal around them, but to his relief, it slid out fairly easily. Still, Loki shuddered in pain, seizing up as he was forced to relive the horrid sensation.
"Easy, big guy. You're doing good." Tony dropped the wire into the bowl and took the next one. This time Loki gave a high-pitched moan as it pulled through delicate flesh and blood beaded over the holes it left behind. Thor continued to reassure him, but his words weren't heard.
Steve and Bruce watched silently, uncomfortably. Natasha felt her hands beginning to tremble and tried to stop them.
Tony worked as quickly as he could, but Loki was well and truly panicking now. He was crying again, more than before, squeezing his eyes shut as the wires came free. He was shaking so hard that he could barely move otherwise, and his feeble attempts to turn his head away were stopped by Thor.
By the time half the wires were removed, his breath had turned to rapid, frantic whines. When Tony pulled another, he practically screamed. It was more than a cry of pain – he was begging.
Natasha turned away and left without a word, and Tony stopped entirely. "Okay, we're taking a break. Let's just take a breather here." He dropped the forceps into the bowl, taking a moment to gather himself. Thor wiped at the tears silently trailing down his own cheeks. "Loki, you hearing me, buddy?" Tony said. "It's okay. Try to calm down a little."
"Loki?" Thor stroked him gently, gaining no reaction whatsoever. Loki stared at nothing, seemingly paralyzed, his heart pounding in his heaving chest. All sense of reason and safety had left him, and he was so, so tired. His chest ached, his back burned like fire, every breath hurt, everything hurt.
It always hurt. It never stopped. He just wanted it to end.
Suddenly, he blinked and looked around. He looked at Tony, at everyone, but he stared past them as if they weren't there at all. He pulled at the edge of the table as if he wanted to move but couldn't find the strength. Thor watched him uncertainly, still holding him. "Loki..."
And then he went limp. His eyes closed, his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. A grim silence fell over the room as Thor hung his head.
"Is he out again?" Steve asked.
"Yeah. Uh..." Tony looked somberly at Thor. "I'm gonna finish this before he wakes up, okay?"
Thor just nodded, trying to slow his tears that were still falling.
Loki didn't stir as Tony removed the rest of the wires, not until the last one. He twitched slightly, his breath catching, and then stilled again. Relieved, Tony went to discard the bloody pieces. "Okay, we're done."
"Good job," Bruce told him, lacking any cheerfulness.
"Thanks," he replied flatly.
"I'll clean up his mouth." Bruce dampened some gauze and went over to Loki. Thor was still toying with his hair as if it was the only thing he could do now. He looked exhausted. "You doing okay?" Bruce asked gently.
"Yes."
"You can sit down if you want."
"No, I'm all right."
Bruce pressed the gauze to Loki's mouth, letting the moisture soak into the pale lips, and he twitched again. He moved his head slightly when he began to wipe away the blood. Bruce cursed inwardly, but continued. He'd hoped Loki would stay unconscious for a while, if only to spare him some stress.
Loki continued to stir until his eyes opened slightly, and Bruce stepped back so as not to startle him. "He's waking up."
He shifted with a weak groan. Thor leaned down in front of him. "Loki, are you all right?"
Loki blinked heavily. Then he suddenly lurched, grabbing onto the table again and looking around wildly. Thor was ready for this and steadied him. "It's all right. The wires are gone now. It's over."
Loki locked eyes with him, already shaking and breathing hard as he tried to understand.
"They're all gone, okay?" Thor repeated. "You're all right now. Everything's all right."
He let go of him as he relented, taking in his surroundings once again. After a moment, he reached up to his lips with a trembling hand. Finding no wires, he let out a silent sob, then looked up at Thor with an expression of uncertainty.
Thor tried to smile, stubbornly holding back his tears now. "They're gone. No one's going to hurt you anymore."
Loki closed his eyes, all but collapsing with relief.
"It'll be okay now. I promise."
Bruce left him to rest for a moment before asking Thor if he could continue. He nodded. "Um... Loki?"
Loki turned apprehensive again as he looked at him.
"Your mouth is still bleeding. Is it okay if I clean it up a little?"
He looked fearful, eyeing his hands suspiciously.
Bruce understood and showed him the gauze. "It's just gauze, okay? I'll be really gentle. I just wanna get some of that blood off."
He nodded slightly, reluctantly. Without his panic to mask it, he was giving into fatigue again. He kept his eyes open, just barely, but looked away from him.
Bruce pressed the gauze to his lips and he flinched away, turning his head into the pillow. "Sorry, I know it hurts." He carefully dabbed at the small holes left by the wires, which were still oozing blood. Loki allowed him to continue for only a moment before he turned away again. Bruce noticed his jaw was moving. "You wanna try opening your mouth?" He'd been avoiding the question because he didn't know if he even could open his mouth after having it wired shut for so long. He assumed this would be yet another painful task that he wasn't sure how to approach yet.
Loki reached up to his hand, and he drew back before realizing he wanted the gauze. "You want this?" He handed it to him and he held it over his mouth. His jaw continued to open and close, his eyes squeezed shut in discomfort. "Hey, don't hurt yourself. I can help."
Bruce's words were ignored, and Loki only whimpered as he became more frantic. Thor seemed unsure of what to do, his hands hovering uncertainly above him. "Loki, stop."
He didn't stop. After a moment, he suddenly tensed, letting out a muffled moan.
"Loki–"
Then he relaxed, breathing rapidly against the gauze. The sound of small gasps indicated he'd managed to open his mouth.