*Posting a little early cuz I just love this chapter too much, its one of my favorite moments between them! So enjoy soft and fluffy Jughead, as he explains his life and even his name, cuz ughhh3*
"Okay, good… so start explaining," She crossed her arms over her chest, popping out her hip and looking at him confidently. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and cracking his knuckles. He had come to terms with the fact that he was going to have to tell her the full story, but he still had no idea where to begin.
"You are right, Jason was one of Castles dealer… He was in a good spot, highschool happens to be a great audience for selling, especially in a rich town. Jason was going off to some college town too, where he was probably going to make Castle a shit ton of money… " Jughead trailed off, twisting his hands in his lap already wanting another cigarette but he knew he couldn't smoke in her room.
"Go on…" She nodded, letting her arms fall as she walked over to the chair at her vanity, pulling it out and turning it to face him before plopping down in it and looking at him expectantly.
"He was kind of a pushy kid and he liked his own product a little too much. You met my mom," He looked up at her. "She is a junkie…" He gritted out "Jason was her dealer. I'm sure it was somewhat calculated… The Collector has always wanted the Serpents to be in his pocket. We are kind of a big crew with a large territory, and we are the original charter so if he got in with us a lot of other charter's would follow. It would be big money," He watched her, her face getting confused so he waited for her to question him.
"Who is the Collector?" She finally asked, pulling her feet up onto the chair and pulling her knees to her chest, crossing her arms over the top and resting her chin on them. His eyes trailed down to her legs getting stuck where her shorts were riding up between her thighs and leaving nothing to his imagination. His eyes narrowed as he swallowed hard trying to talk himself down and pry his eyes away but he couldn't. His thighs flexed together as he shifted on the bed, willing himself to focus and not on how it felt to be between her legs. She followed his gaze, looking back up at him, and glaring. "Who is the Collector?" She repeated strongly, letting her legs go and placing her feet back on the ground. Jug cleared his throat, shrugging at her dirty look.
"Castle is the Collector, it's just what we call him. It's like his gang name I guess… Kinda like I have Jughead, or Sweet Pea, Fangs… I don't know it's just a thing," He shrugged again, and Betty tilted her head to the side.
"I forgot, that's not really your name," She chuckled slightly, shaking her head at herself.
"You thought my parents just said 'fuck it' in the delivery room, he just looks like a Jug. Jughead it is," He laughed, she glared back.
"I said I just forgot," She rolled her eyes "You do look like a Jughead," She huffed sassily.
"Watch it," He warned smiling at her playfully.
"What is your name?" She asked suddenly extremely serious, her face etched with curiosity.
"I thought we were talking about Castle," He tried pulling back the conversation.
"It's something like Frank, right?" She asked ignoring him, he grimaced at her guess, shaking his head.
"No, it's somehow worse," He laughed, She raised her eyebrows expectantly for him to continue. "Forsythe…" He sighed "Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third," He rolled his eyes at himself "Named after my dear ol' dad," He smirked humorlessly.
"Forsythe," She repeated, nodding her head like somehow that actually fit. "I like it, it's cute… and sophisticated" she smiled at him.
"It is not any of those things, and we will not be using it," He said sternly, making her laugh and he narrowed his eyes knowing this was somehow going to rear its head in the future.
"I have a dumb question," She started, pulling her thumb to her mouth and chewing on her nail, he raised an eyebrow questioningly at her. "If you guys all grew up in this violent, gang life… Why didn't you just use 'Sythe'. Isn't that the weapon that a grim reaper has?" He stared at her his jaw going slack.
"I do not even have a clever response for that, but shit… that definitely seems like a missed opportunity," He laughed, liking the way her brain worked. "Can we just start that now?" He tried.
"No way, you are Jug, you're stuck with it," She smiled at him, "But how did you get Jughead?" she asked looking up at him curiously.
"Don't laugh," He gave her a pointed look, she nodded waiting for him to continue explaining, but instead he showed her, pulling his messy black hair back with his hands so his ears showed prominently, he usually had them at least somewhat covered and he had grown into them slightly as he got older but they were still larger than they should be. It was worse when he was a kid, which was why his mom had knitted him his beanie in the first place, but the nickname his drunken father had given him had stuck no matter how much he cried about it and begged them to stop. "Sythe," He shook his head at the name, liking the way it sounded.
"No juggie, I love you… big ears and all," She smiled at him, and he froze letting his black locks go, and staring at her with wide eyes before looking away quickly, the tips of his ears burning slightly as his body over heated.
"Don't…" He mumbled "Don't do that," He shook his head, not able to look at her.
"Oh.. Um, I'm sorry. I just meant your name.." She stuttered out nervously.
"I care about you," He cut her off "more than I can even figure out how to deal with… But I don't do well with that word," He said honestly trying to ignore the anxiety that was spreading through his gut, his attitude from the past rearing its ugly head, as he felt himself shutting down and willed his heart to stay open to her.
"I really just meant your name Jug," she mumbled staring at the floor, the rejection clear on her face.
"I am doing the best I can Betts, but I just… that just sets everything up for failure. I like what we are. I really do, and I'm aware how stupid I sound, but I'm not equipped…"
"It's okay, Jug. Really, just forget I said anything," She interrupted, smiling at him obviously trying to reassure him, and he felt like the biggest douche in the world that she was having to make him feel better after that. But he couldn't help it, that word to him just meant pain and sadness, from his alcoholic father to his drugged out mom, he just couldn't take that phrase the way normal people could. His dad had used it more as a justification one too many times, and his mom as a guilt trip to invoke some sort of pity to better victimize herself, it was a manipulation and nothing more. They sat in silence for a moment as he tried to guide himself back to being vulnerable and ignore every instinct he had that was practically yelling at him to run, and run far. "So Castle…" Betty changed the subject, pulling him back to his story. He took a deep breath, calming down slightly and searching her face remembering who she was and reminding himself that the difficult emotional blocks he had were worth fighting through if it meant he got to keep her.
"Right," He nodded, just focusing on trying to get the truth out, so hopefully they could move past this. "Castle used Jason as a way to try to talk to us and convince us to push for him by being my mom's contact, and you saw her… she isn't super put together, even when she isn't strung out," He rolled his eyes. "Long story short, Jason asked about us when they were on a neon nod, and Gladys decided he was rat. It was a bad trip, and worse timing," He shrugged.
"Can I stop you?" she asked, and he nodded "What the hell is Neon Nod?" she asked pulling her eyebrows impossibly close together.
"They were strung out on dope, and decided it was a good idea to drop acid too… Good times, right?" He laughed incredulously, her eyes went wide and she just nodded for him to continue "My mom thought she was protecting the club, she tends to do shit like that. She is just one big fucking headache, but she is my mom," He sighed sadly, looking at Betty tiredly and waiting for her to respond.
"So your mom shot Jason…" she trailed off as more of a statement than a question. He just nodded, "And Castle is dangerous and pissed that he is losing money now, so he can't find out," She figured out for herself from his story.
"That's the goal, assuming he doesn't already know and is just waiting to show his hand," Jug sighed, but felt oddly impressed that she was catching on so quickly.
"But you lied to me about it, I'm not Castle…" She looked at him oddly hurt.
"It's dangerous for you to even know this, if he catches wind that you know anything about my life or my crew it puts a target on your back," He shook his head, hating that he was way too right.
"So you lied to keep me safe, not because you didn't want me to know?" She asked skeptically.
"Betts you were the first thing I have seen in a long time that made me want something more, and I had just barely breached the surface with you. I wasn't gonna lay all the cards on the table. How would you have reacted? I'm sorry If it hurts you that I lied to you, but I'm not going to lie again and say that there wasn't at least a somewhat selfish motive to try to keep you around," He looked at her deeply, willing her to understand his side.
"I told you that I was either all in or all out," She looked at him strongly "I meant that."
"And since that I have done everything I can. I'm trying…" he said gently.
"No more lies," She said sternly standing up from her seat and walking over to him, he perked up like a dog about to be pet as he leaned forward, his body pulling to hers involuntarily. She stepped between his legs and he sighed audibly at the contact, snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly to him as his eyes closed. The tension leaving his body as he relaxed against her.
"No more lies," He repeated, nuzzling his face into her.
"I'm sort of struggling with Jason's death… he was my classmate, and kind of my friend," She huffed, running her fingers through his hair as he looked up at her.
"And she's my mom," He said searching her eyes.
"I guess this is where I accept your loyalty to the people you… the people in your life," she hesitated, careful about how she phrased it.
"I would do the same for you," He said pointedly, making her look down at him, her face full of an affection he hadn't seen before.
"So would I," She finally breathed out. He grabbed her pulling her onto the bed with him, laying her gently on her back and hovering over her.
"Please don't do anything that could put you in harms way for my sake, you just tell me and I'll do it," He smiled at her "blood is hard to wash off your hands, literally and metaphorically," He raised an eyebrow at her.
"How much blood do you have on yours?" She asked quietly, and he froze above her, slightly stunned by her question. He licked his lips, finding it difficult to give her an answer. He had never had trouble with what he had done or had to do, it just was the way that it was, he made his moves based on his belief that life was just a constant evolution, that every choice you made was just that… a choice and you made it so move on. To him it was cut and dry, but as he laid slightly on top of her small frame, staring down at her questioning blue eyes he knew he couldn't go through all of his decisions with some of them lacking a justification. He was suddenly terrified that she wouldn't understand without an explanation, but he didn't always have a good one.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, ignoring her question, but having no idea what else to do.
"I'm okay, just tired… I am never going to a party again," She answered seeming to let her question go, maybe because she sensed his need for her to do so or maybe because she knew she didn't really want the answer.
"Think maybe I can change your mind on that?" He asked cautiously, pushing her hair out of face and behind her ear.
"What do you mean?" She asked wiggling out from underneath him and pulling herself up on to her pillows.
"It's my birthday in a few weeks, I personally hate it, but my crew fucking loves it. I guess it's impossible to ignore your birthday when everyone loves a costume party," He shrugged, following her onto pillows and laying behind her.
"When is your birthday?" She tilted her head to look back at him.
"October 31st," He answered, closing his eyes tiredly sliding his arm around her torso, pulling her to him.
"You would be a Scorpio."