Hello, it's me again. Yes, with another version of this story. I really fell out of love with it and writing SW stuff in general (hence me deleting my old profile and all my fics and my Tumblr and …) but I'm back on my Anidala bullshit now. This story holds a really special place in my heart, not just because of how much time I originally spent writing it, but because of the friends it introduced me to :')

Anyway, enjoy Round 3 of this story and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed reconnecting with it!

I've added a lot to the story and changed the order of some of the chapters. If you've read the first version, you'll likely be familiar with what happens here (much of it is still the same), but there will hopefully be enough new stuff to interest you in a second reading.

This story begins during the Clone Wars episode Mystery of a Thousand Moons (s1e18). While it is not necessary to have seen that episode to understand this or the rest of the story (which takes a completely different turn than Revenge of the Sith and is most certainly AU), I guess it would be helpful to have seen it to understand the gravitas of the situation Anakin is in at the start of the story.

It's rated E for sex and some violence (it used to be M but …).

Thanks for sticking with me and this story 3

Chapter One: Revelations

'Anakin, I …'

And then Anakin watched helplessly as the hologram of his wife and young Padawan faded abruptly and his life seemed to end right there on the spot.

Oh, so this is what it feels like to die.

All he could see was their sickly faces, changed by the Blue Shadow Virus and their own desperation.

All he could see was his wife. His wife! His beloved wife. Padmé!

And he wasn't there to save her.

Padmé's final words had spilled weakly from her lips before the transmission had been cut short (and perhaps her life with it, although he dared not think that lest he lose all control). She had been about to reveal their secret, no doubt in a moment of sheer despair. She had been about to tell him that she loved him, one more time, before she died.

Before she died.

And then he was paralysed, having thought about what he shouldn't have, having travelled down that dark road he always tried so hard to steer away from, and Anakin barely registered the desperate "no!" that roared from unknown depths inside of him.

Padmé … Padmé dead.

Yes, this is what it felt like to die.

A cold sweat stuck his shirt to his skin. A rush of hot determination coursed through him. He was volatile, scorching to the touch. No, they were not going to die down there; he would make damn sure of it.

The sound of boots on a metal floor. Obi-Wan and Jaybo, the young boy they had found on Iego during their earlier quest for the virus' cure, came rushing into the cockpit.

'What's going on? Anakin, what's happened down there?' Obi-Wan took one look at Anakin and needed no more explanation. Anakin was in trouble.

'She … Padmé and Ahsoka … they're dying down there!' Anakin managed the words breathlessly. Barely. How to solve this problem? How to solve this impossible problem? They were wasting time. They needed to go, now. 'Padmé said to make sure nobody ever opened the bunker so the virus stays trapped down there—but they're trapped down there!'

'Anakin, Ahsoka and the Senator—'

But Anakin cut him off mid-sentence, glaring at him with those tortured eyes Obi-Wan was unfortunately already so familiar with. 'We have to do something! We can't just leave them down there to die!'

Because if she dies I die too. Plants cannot grow without their sun. A man cannot live without the very air he breathes … or without his soul.

And so Anakin slammed his fist against the control panel, and he did not register the pain that reverberated up his flesh arm. There already was the cold darkness of his worst nightmare, cloaking him in its inevitable sorrow. There already was nothing to hear but the whisperings of the secret dragon within him, his one constant companion since his slaughter of the Sand People. The dragon that both guided and goaded him down the path towards what he knew was his own inevitable greatness. Because it had to be greatness he was destined for, right? Right? Otherwise what was the point of all the suffering?

What else was the point of all he had done?

Now the dragon told him that he could have done more. They all could have done more. They had failed, and he, Anakin, should make sure they all knew it.

She is going to die. You are going to lose her. And it's their fault. You know it. Maybe if you didn't have to keep her a secret … maybe then …

'Anakin, calm down. We're doing everything we can. Trust me!' Obi-Wan's familiar voice cut through the noise, his hand placed lightly on Anakin's shoulder.

Anakin shrugged off the unwanted touch. Every second wasted was just one second closer to losing Padmé forever. How could Obi-Wan not understand that? How could he stand there, so stoic, like a statue, so unmoved, while the very world itself ended?

Rage flared up in Anakin and simmered dangerously as he stared incredulously at the older man's lack of concern. Had the Jedi Order's training been so complete, so effective in Obi-Wan that he had not only rescinded all attachments but all compassion too?

He grit his teeth. Why could Obi-Wan never react the way he wanted him to? The way he needed him to?

'We have to do more! This isn't enough—we have to help them, Obi-Wan!' Anakin now towered fiercely above his former Master and the young ruffian Jaybo.

Jaybo watched the scene transpiring with wary eyes. He wasn't used to arguments like this—he'd been living alone for too long. All he'd wanted was a ride to Coruscant. He hadn't expected this at all. Maybe he should find a way to leave. In fact, he knew he should.

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, took a step back from Anakin in sheer surprise. Anakin had never seemed so volatile and so powerful. It was almost … frightening—and Obi-Wan never felt that way about Anakin. Not really. No, never. There was always such a tenderness to Anakin that cut through any adolescent venom he'd spat Obi-Wan's way. But now ... well, Obi-Wan had never seen such a look as this on Anakin's face, and for a moment Anakin almost seemed to be outside of himself. Like he wasn't the only one behind those shining blue eyes. There was something almost dragon-like about him.

But Anakin himself had never felt more in control. Never felt such a keen sense of purpose. His mind narrowed down to that last desperate vision of Padmé he'd seen before the hologram had been severed. He knew that she'd been trying to maintain her composure for his sake, but her eyes had been filled with fear.

This is what it feels like to die.

His world became only one singular impulse: save her. You know you can't live without her.

'Obi-Wan, you don't understand.' And he would make Obi-Wan understand, he would make Obi-Wan respond in the way that he wanted him to.

'Anakin, we're doing everything we—' Obi-Wan tried, but Anakin cut him off yet again. That almost frightening look was still there, a frantic darkness clouding the shine in his eyes.

'You don't understand!' Anakin repeated, and he was pleading, the desperation bleeding into everything now. He would do it; he would make Obi-Wan understand now. He would make Obi-Wan know that the world was falling away with every second they stood here, the colours dimming, the air thinning. He could barely breath. Padmé was dying and so was he, because a man cannot live without air, and a man cannot live without his soul.

He would make Obi-Wan understand why they had to do more. Why they should be so worried. He could think of only one way, and his stomach plunged as he took the leap. 'I have to save Padmé. I … I have to save my wife.'

'Your what? Your wife?'

And then Obi-Wan was the one who was outside of himself. He was on the ceiling, staring down at the people below. He was stunned. Not angry, or hurt, or anything else, just stunned.

He frowned, trying to make sense of what Anakin had just said; Obi-Wan wasn't even completely sure he'd heard him correctly. He couldn't have, he must be just hearing things because this situation was so tense. Anakin could not have said "wife", certainly not. He was a Jedi Knight, with a Padawan no less. He was most certainly not married. Obi-Wan would have known! He would have known that. He would have sensed that. They were close enough for that! Surely. Surely! But what if …?

Oh no.

'Yes, Obi-Wan, my wife. Look, there's no time for this—I'll explain later.' Anakin turned his back to him and Obi-Wan wished he could have been anywhere else in the entire galaxy. Then Anakin was shrugging off his Jedi cloak and running down the ship's ramp, and Obi-Wan noticed so clearly how Anakin refused to meet his eyes. 'But do you understand now why I have to do this? Why we have to do more?'

'Oh Anakin,' Obi-Wan sighed, and he was weary, oh so weary, but all he could do was follow Anakin, follow him like he always did, like he always would, whilst Jaybo, who had remained completely silent throughout the exchange, brought up the rear.

OOOOO

The rescue mission was a success. Padmé, Ahsoka, and the clones who had been trapped down in the bunker had been liberated quickly and efficiently. Another victory for the dynamic team of Skywalker and Kenobi, the Republic's finest heroes.

Anakin knew it was thanks to him. He'd made Obi-Wan understand, he'd made Obi-Wan try harder. He knew that. He was sure of that. His secret did not matter more than Padmé's life.

A bevy of medical staff from Naboo's capital had all appeared on the scene immediately, loading the affected onto stretchers and into a medcentre emergency shuttle. Luckily, the exposure of those down in the bunker had not been enough to cause any long-term debilitation. The prognosis was that after receiving doses of the antivirus their recovery would be swift, however they would all be admitted into the medcenter in Theed for a few days to monitor their condition.

Anakin was talking with Jaybo, waiting to accompany the medcentre shuttle. Padmé was alright, thank the Force (because what would happen otherwise … the thought was too dark to follow), however the antivirus had rendered her and the others unconscious for the time being. Anakin had, of course, seen her, but was yet to talk to her. She therefore remained blissfully unaware that their secret was no longer quite so secret.

'The Republic thanks you for your help, Jaybo. And I thank you for your help,' Anakin addressed the scruffy orphan solemnly.

Jaybo seemed very pleased with himself, grinning cockily at the renowned Jedi towering above him. 'Don't mention it. I don't suppose there's anything in it for me, eh?'

Anakin raised his eyebrows and gave a small laugh. It felt good to laugh. To be alive again, the colours of the world vivid and strong, the air crisp in his lungs like the first breath of a new babe. 'I'm sure you'll be duly rewarded for your uh, heroism, Jaybo.'

Jaybo's cocky smirk grew wider and his eyes lit up at the thought of a reward, no doubt planning his next adventure. He began to walk off, then turned to face Anakin again. 'Didn't think Jedi were allowed to get married. Thought you were all a bunch of celibate old monks or somethin''

Anakin opened his mouth to retort, however Obi-Wan, who had finished his conversation with the clone leader, interjected. 'They aren't supposed to get married. Or even fall in love at all.'

Obi-Wan turned and looked sternly at Anakin, who angrily avoided his gaze. Jaybo, who did not need to be Force-sensitive to pick up on the obvious tension in the air, smartly wandered away towards the general mass of clone troopers and medical staff that were gathered near the shuttle.

The time had come, but Obi-Wan didn't know where to begin. He had absolutely no idea how to start a conversation that he could never in a thousand years have foreseen having.

Oh, but that's a lie, Kenobi, and you know it.

He had known, had always known, right from the start he had known, that Anakin had harboured a deep longing for Padmé. But, naively, he had always assumed that Anakin would act according to the Jedi Code in regards to attachments. The way he himself had acted. Anakin was rebellious, sure, and Obi-Wan indulged him in that rebelliousness more times than he should. However, he'd never assumed that Anakin would so willfully go against the teachings of the Order that he'd devoted his life to—and which had brought him so much success. He was the Chosen One, so Qui-Gon and all those others had said. The Order was supposed to mean something to him!

And then Obi-Wan just sighed. He supposed that Anakin had devoted his life to something—someone—else, now.

He was so tired.

Obi-Wan turned and began walking towards the ship that they'd flown in on from Iego. He didn't know exactly where Jaybo was, but assumed that the boy would take this opportunity to score free passage to Coruscant. Therefore he would have abandoned the old-model freighter that had proven so perilous to fly in. Yes, the ship would provide the solitude needed for this impossible conversation.

'Maybe we should stay with the medical shuttle.' Anakin hesitated, turning back to look in the direction of the ship, composed of clean lines and smooth metal as was customary for vehicles on Naboo.

'They will let us know when they are ready to leave,' Obi-Wan replied curtly. 'Come with me, Anakin. You can't avoid this.'

Anakin sighed and followed his former Master. He had expected to feel more anxiety over the consequences of revealing his marriage, knowing that it could lead to his expulsion from the Jedi Order. He had also expected to feel remorseful for keeping both his best friend and his Padawan in the dark for so long. Surprisingly, though, he didn't feel either of these things. Instead he felt … relief. Just overwhelming relief. He'd been slowly crushed under the weight of this secret for nearly two years now, and now it was as though his head had finally cleared the cresting waves of lies that had been drowning him. He could breathe. There would be consequences, for sure. A storm was coming, and Anakin did not know if he would weather it. For now, though, there was a brief moment of clear sky and that was what he had to focus on. He could breathe.

Obi-Wan was facing the wall when Anakin entered the cockpit, posture stern. A return to the Master/Padawan dynamic that Anakin had continuously fought against when he was younger. There was a moment of silence before Obi-Wan finally spoke, slowly and without turning around. 'How long?'

Anakin didn't pretend not to understand Obi-Wan's meaning. 'Just after the Battle of Geonosis.'

'Anakin, that was nearly two years ago! How did you keep this a secret for so long?' This was an uncharacteristic outburst for Obi-Wan, and Anakin steeled himself for the inevitable fight that was to come. Obi-Wan, however, then spoke in a softer tone, turning to face Anakin, now crestfallen. 'How did you keep this a secret from me?'

'Well, I …' And Anakin, usually so quick on his feet with a carefully crafted comment, found that his words failed him, and the remorse that had eluded him before finally caught up with him. The look in Obi-Wan's eyes was one that he had never seen before, even after their fiercest confrontations. It was not a look of anger, or of disappointment—it was the look of a friend who realises that they have been kept in the dark the whole time, and who wonders what they could have done to have opened the door and been let in.

'Two years.' Obi-Wan paced the length of the cockpit and shook his head in disbelief. 'How did … how could you have … how did I not sense it?'

'I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I didn't want to keep it a secret. We just didn't feel that there was any other choice.'

At that comment, Obi-Wan stopped pacing and looked directly at Anakin with piercing grey eyes. 'Anakin, there is always a choice.'

'Like what?'

'You could have chosen to walk away from her.'

The words stung and Anakin snorted derisively. 'Walk away?'

Obi-Wan shook his head again. This time it was not an action of disbelief, but of frustration. 'You're a Jedi, Anakin.'

There was a growl in Anakin's tone. 'You of all people know how hard it is to walk away from the one you love.'

The words were a barb intended to hurt, and they hit their mark, as evinced by the subtle dimming of the fire in Obi-Wan's eyes. He took a seat in the pilot's chair, looking up at his best friend who, despite his height, felt so incredibly small. Anakin knew he should not have mentioned Satine. Especially after what had happened to her.

'Obi-Wan, I'm sorry,' Anakin said gently, taking a seat next to him in the co-pilot's chair. 'I know you made a very difficult choice.'

'It was the only choice,' Obi-Wan replied flatly. 'I am a Jedi and my allegiance is to the Order. Yours should be too.'

'It is, Obi-Wan. Please don't think that I made the decision I made because I didn't care about the Order. Or about you.'

'Then why?' Obi-Wan asked, although he didn't need to. He knew the answer, always had. Ever since he was a little boy Anakin had pined for Padmé. Obi-Wan had known it, and had ignored it, and look where that had landed him. He should have done more.

'I love her.'

Behind those three simple words was a depth of emotion Obi-Wan knew he could not understand. Anakin's feelings for Padmé bordered on worshipful. Obsessive.

'I know.' Obi-Wan ran a stressed hand through his short auburn hair. 'I know, Anakin. Force knows I do.'

'If you knew how I feel about her then why does this come as such a surprise?' Anakin asked provocatively.

'Because damn it, Anakin, I didn't expect you to run off and get married to her! I thought that ...'

'What?' Anakin spoke through gritted teeth. 'What did you think?'

'Well ... I thought maybe you'd get over it. Maybe she'd be more responsible, if you couldn't.'

Anakin was silent for a moment, chastised by Obi-Wan's words.

Why did I think he'd be on my side. He's never on my side.

'I had to. Obi-Wan, if you knew how I felt about her, if you knew how much I love her, how much she ...'

Anakin trailed off, because there weren't words for what he felt for Padmé—her love was the light in a life often drenched in darkness. He had meant it when he'd told her she was in his very soul. He would do anything for her.

Anything?

Yes, anything. Of course, anything.

We'll see …

Obi-Wan stared out through the front windscreen of the freighter with a truly melancholy gaze. 'I know what it is like to love someone, Anakin. And to lose them.'

'Then I don't need to explain it to you,' Anakin replied.

'Maybe not to me,' said Obi-Wan. 'But to the Council you will.'

'Surely they'll ... they have to understand.' But Anakin couldn't stand firmly behind those words. Suddenly his feet weren't planted so safely on the ground.

A seed of doubt in his mind. Just the tiniest one, barely visible. But there. Dangerous. And growing into something ... more.

'I don't know, Anakin. I really don't.' Obi-Wan was still staring out at the bustling activity on the other side of the windscreen. Life went on the same out there. This moment in here felt outside of time.

Sweat prickled on the back of Anakin's neck. His tunic itched him. 'Obi-Wan, you have to understand.' Those words again. That plea again. For Obi-Wan to understand him. To know him and accept him. 'After the death of my mother, and what happened on Geonosis, we realised ... our lives are dangerous. Who knows what will happen to us. We need to celebrate the best part of our lives, which is love.'

Obi-Wan said nothing. The clones were loading the last few storage crates onto a transport. Everything seemed so simple out there. Obi-Wan wanted to join them.

'Obi-Wan, please.'

And there was that tenderness in Anakin, always so close under the surface. The battles hardened him, turned him into a warrior, but the tenderness always remained, under the skin, now in the blush of his cheek and beseeching shine of his eye. The true Anakin. The one desperate to love. Desperate to be loved.

'I understand, Anakin.' And he did. Obi-Wan did understand because he knew Anakin. Had known him for too long not to understand him, despite Anakin's secrets and his rough edges and the parts of him that felt like snatching at smoke. 'I understand. But did you consider the ramifications of this choice? You're a Jedi. You have a Padawan. You can't expect the Council to let you remain in the Order if you are married.'

'Why should things be any different now?' Anakin's arms were crossed. The tenderness was gone. Like snatching at smoke.

Obi-Wan rankled at the childish stance, an old, familiar feeling. 'What do you mean, Anakin?'

'Well, I was able to become a Knight and instruct a Padawan, and the entire time I was married to Padmé—why would that have to change now?'

And Obi-Wan did not know how to explain, because of course it was so simple to Anakin. So matter-of-fact. So logical. He could not see the downsides to his choice, to his love. Could not see how it could change him, could not see the darkness that obsession could have him walking into.

How many nights did he cry for his mother? How many times did he beg me to take him back there? How many times did I urge him to let go?

And so Obi-Wan knew Anakin would not understand—at least he didn't know how to make him. So he just said: 'Because it goes against the Code, Anakin. It's fundamental that we as Jedi uphold the teachings of the Code—more so if you are responsible for a Padawan.'

'But why?' Anakin instantly regretted the tone he had used-it sounded so much like the things he would say as a petulant young Padawan, chafing at the bit against his Master's perceived stranglehold. He saw the expression on Obi-Wan's face change to one of dignified patience, and it made him feel even more like a child. He tried to moderate the tone of his voice, and continued. 'I mean, why would it change things now? The Council thought me good enough to train Ahsoka—clearly my being married didn't affect that.'

Obi-Wan was silent for a few moments. He mulled over Anakin's statement, his expression conflicted. Maybe he could try again another time. Will there be another time? Perhaps he was being a coward. Perhaps he was wishing this whole thing to just go away.

'Anakin,' he eventually began, and he stood up and moved to place a hand lightly on Anakin's shoulder. A gesture of peace. 'I'm not sure I can make you understand. What I can say is that you have grown considerably over these past two years. You're very capable as Ahsoka's mentor, I will not deny this. But, you've broken the Code very seriously. I'm not sure the Council will be able to see past that.'

Anakin sighed; nodded in silent understanding. It was no use arguing further with Obi-Wan. The ways of the Jedi were Obi-Wan's entire life. He came to stand next to Obi-Wan, once again towering above him. 'I know that you have to tell the Council, Obi-Wan, but can you wait until I've talked to Padmé first?'

'I'll do what I can.' Obi-Wan moved towards the exit of the cockpit. As he stood in the doorway, he turned back to face Anakin. 'How do you feel?'

'I feel … lighter. Like a weight's off of my shoulders.'

'I hope for your sake that you are correct, Anakin. May the Force be with you, my friend.' And he did hope. Obi-Wan hoped more than anything he'd ever hoped for that Anakin would be alright, that the Council would see something different about this situation.

They won't, and you know it, Kenobi. Take your head out of the sand. You should have tried harder with him before.

And Obi-Wan knew that was probably true, and he was sad for it. He was sad, and he was tired. Oh so very tired.

Anakin let a small smile briefly touch his lips, a glimpse of his real self again. 'May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan.'

He watched Obi-Wan leave, and then, alone in the cockpit, sat down again in the co-pilot's chair. He stayed there, slumped in his seat, for an unknown amount of time, Obi-Wan's voice stuck in his head.

'You've broken the Code very seriously. I'm not sure the Council will be able to see past that.'

Surely the Council would be rational, Anakin tried to convince himself. Would they really cast him out over this-it was not as if he'd done something bad. He hadn't hurt anyone, he had simply fallen in love. How could the Jedi, who preached compassion for all things, view his love for Padmé as a strike against him? His love for her was the biggest factor in his transformation from unruly Padawan to dependable Knight. They could not deny that there had been a change in him.

There had been a change in him.

He would make them understand.

Anakin rubbed his eyes, exhausted, and he watched the last of the clones loading into the transport back to Coruscant. He had been here too long and it was time to go, time to see Padmé. He had some important things to tell her.

OOOOO

It took longer than Anakin anticipated for Padmé to regain consciousness. The medical droid explained that it could take anywhere between six and twelve hours for a being to clear the effects of the Blue Shadow Virus from their system.

Ahsoka and the clones had come to after around eight hours, with no ill effects from their experience. Ahsoka immediately asked to see Anakin, however Obi-Wan informed her that he was otherwise unavailable.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. 'I bet I can guess where Sky-Guy is.'

Obi-Wan only offered her his best wishes for her return to action soon, and told her that he would be leaving for Coruscant immediately.

OOOOO

Anakin waited by Padmé's bedside. Hours passed, then more hours after that. He clasped her hand, and he dozed in and out, and he waited, and then he waited some more. Time stood still. There was nothing but this room and her in it. Nothing but his waiting, his longing. The ache in his heart.

But it was alright. He'd done it. She was alive. She was alive!

Nothing more to worry about. Not right now. She was all that mattered.

Just tell that to yourself over and over and maybe you'll believe it.

But it's true!

He traced little circles on the back of her smooth hand. His hand was so big, so tanned, so coarse in comparison to hers. She was soft, sleek perfection. He was hard lines of muscle and callus.

Fire and water.

Heaven and Hell.

He loved her so much his chest hurt.

Anakin's thoughts jumbled around slowly without ever forming any clear ideas. He knew things were certainly going to be different now that the secret of their marriage was out, yet his exhausted brain seemed unable to grasp the magnitude of the concept as a whole. Instead he focused on the small details that were common to a billion marriages the galaxy over, yet had been missing from theirs. He wondered if he and Padmé would wear wedding bands now. He wondered if she would take his last name. Then he remembered that their wedding certificate did not even bear their true names. The Holy Man that had married them had not even known who they really were.

And then, finally, after a lifetime had passed of his waiting and wanting, there was the sound of Padmé's voice (heavenly, an Angel!), and his head immediately snapped up. He had been falling asleep.

'Ani,' Padmé murmured, so gently that it was barely indistinguishable from the repetitive beeping of the medical monitors next to her bed.

Anakin didn't know what to say so instead he just kissed her. He kissed his wife, who was alive, who was safe, and he thought about nothing but that fact. He thought about nothing but her, and the softness of her lips, and the way she smelled like jasmine even after everything that had happened to her.

'Where are we? Are we alone?' Padmé broke their kiss in a hurry.

'In the medcenter at Theed. And yes, we're alone.'

With that knowledge, Padmé kissed him again, this one long and breathless. It was more than a 'thankyou' kiss, more than a 'I knew you would come through for me' kiss. It was a kiss that, without the need for the words (the case for so much in their marriage), said 'I love you. Truly, deeply. I hope you understand that'.

'I'm so glad you're safe, Padmé.' Anakin's words were murmured in a rush against her lips, almost an assurance to himself that yes, she was still here. 'If anything had happened to you—'

I would die. A man without air. A man without a soul.

Padmé put her finger to his lips, silencing him. 'Don't focus on "what ifs?", Ani. I just want to enjoy this time together right now.'

When their lips met again, slow and soft and so deep, Anakin felt the warmth of her breath against his cheek as she sighed softly in his ear. His body ached for her, her touch a sanctuary. A home. If only they could leave here ...

'How long do we have? I expect the Council will want to see you as soon as possible, and the Senate will no doubt be meeting already to discuss what happened here.'

No, no. Let's just stay here in this moment. There's nothing else but us. Nothing else but us ...

'Ani? Is everything okay?'

Anakin swallowed hard, looking away. Seems they could not stay in this moment after all. 'Well, something's happened, Padmé.'

Anakin remained focused on the small data screen of the heart-rate monitor next to the bed. He noticed her heart-rate increase a little. He steadied himself.

'Did something happen to someone? Did Ahsoka make it out of the bunker? Surely she must have … I saw her!'

'Yes, everyone's fine; Ahsoka, the clones, everyone. They actually woke up before you did.'

Then he was silent again as he toyed with one of her loose curls, trying to live inside this last perfect moment.

'Stop stalling, Anakin. You know I can handle bad news.'

He was still playing with her hair. One more moment. One more moment, please, before it all shattered, before it all came away in his hands and he could not put it back together again because broken glass does not work like that, once it's ruined it's ruined for good.

But I haven't ruined things … have I? Have I?

And he wanted to stall just a little longer (why was this so hard, she was his wife, it should not be so hard to tell her these things) but he couldn't. Time for the glass to break. Time to go forward, no way to go back.

'Padmé … Obi-Wan knows. About us. As in our… marriage.' He spat the words out quickly. Do it quickly, maybe it won't be as bad.

"'What?' Padmé's monitor beeped at the sudden spike in heart-rate. 'You … you told him? Why?'

'I had to, there was nothing else I could do!' He was rushing to explain. He was rushing to make her understand. Why could he never get anyone to understand?

'But how could you tell him without talking to me about it first, Anakin?' Padmé was breathing deeply, in our, in out. 'Do you have any idea what this is going to do to our lives? To your life?'

'I—'

'Anakin—'

'Padmé.' And then it was him cutting her off, the anger within him simmering again. She wasn't understanding. She wasn't listening. 'It's not just my fault! You were about to say you loved me when you were cut off by the transmission. You would have revealed our secret as well!"

She paused. She softened. 'I … I don't remember much of what happened down there.' She rubbed her head. Her anger had all but faded and now she simply looked very, very tired. The same way Obi-Wan had. 'I just … I thought I was going to die. I thought I was never going to see you again.'

'And that's exactly how I felt, Padmé. I promise I didn't plan to do it. I just … when I thought you were going to die … I didn't know what to do. It was all just a rush, a blur.'

'Do the rest of the Council know?'

'No. Not yet.'

'What did Obi-Wan say?'Padmé responded quickly.

'He was shocked too, and … upset.'

'I suppose he's going to tell the Council.'

Anakin nodded. 'He has to.'

'What do you think they'll do?' Padmé sighed.

'I don't know,' Anakin conceded. 'But they will want to see me, and probably you too, as soon as we get back to Coruscant.'

Padmé sighed again and looked suddenly even wearier. 'A lot is going to change when we get back to Coruscant, Ani.'

He nodded and took her hand. 'But never how much I love you.'