Avalanche
A/N: Chapter took longer because it wasn't a part of the original work. Since I'm working on redeeming Sasuke just a little bit from how I originally wrote him, it's getting difficult. But so much fun!
I jog up to the parking lot fifteen minutes before time and straighten myself. Questions swarm in my brain one after the other. Not to mention the dinner I was made to withstand. Sasuke's intrusiveness is no joke. I'm truly beginning to get irritated by his interrogative attitude. He has no right to grill either of us. And Kiba, I feel guilty for playing along. But truth be told, somewhere in the depths of my heart I had complete intentions of clearing the air. If I had to threaten him to stay away from Kiba, I would. This never involved him or Kiba anyway. I don't know why I'm stressing so much on keeping this a secret from Sasuke. This is doing nothing but tangling us tighter in this web of lies. But at that moment, I'd truly found an escape when Kiba played along with the grand misunderstanding. I immediately thought of how this could finally put a lid on Sasuke testing me over him. I am not good with those.
I shove my hands into the pockets of the blue jeans he likes. I'll use whatever it takes as an advantage. I exhale loudly. I know what I'm going to do the moment he's here. I should have considered his space. I should have thought about what this means to him, seeing as he's always been straight. Moreover, I've been too blinded by the future I keep envisioning that I haven't been following his pace like I promised myself. That question should have never been asked. What if he wants to meet to end this? Panic shoots up my chest.
Oh god! Anything but that.
I can take his reprimanding a hundred times over having my king hand me my death sentence. But when I think about it, his voice over the phone was pleasant. It had only changed when he talked about the reason for calling or realized I was outside. Am I the only one who's getting so far up in my thoughts that I'm misreading the whole thing? I feel like I'm dancing on pins and needles.
I identify his silhouette on his bike and my heart picks up speed. He stops his bike right next to me and just lifts his visor. "Hop on," he bends down to unclip the spare helmet and hands it to me.
"Itachi-sama I'm so-" his hand on my mouth stops me.
"Get on," an authoritative Itachi-sama makes me smile despite my misgivings. He rolls his eyes at that.
I get on and place my arms around him. He doesn't protest when I hold him tightly. He merely starts the engine and we fly out of the parking lot into the night. We only stop once we reach the little stream where I often see ducks waddling around. I unclip my helmet and stare blindly at the water. The stream runs smoothly, reflecting the lights from the buildings nearby as they blur constantly.
"What am I doing wrong?" the question is almost wrenched out of him when he looks at me.
"Huh?" I look at him confused.
"Have I given you a reason to doubt me? Did I do something wrong? Is this about Sasuke once again?" he looks so lost, so confused, I don't know what to say.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask him, hating this moment of unclarity.
"You said I was going to leave you once you left Japan, right? Why did you say that?"
Huh? Eh?
"Because isn't that the obvious conclusion from what you said to me? Didn't you say, I was wasting my time thinking about unnecessary things that are still so far ahead in the future? And if your words weren't enough, your face told me what you felt. What else was I supposed to think?" I lash out at him. "I just mean what we have comes with an expiry date. There's no way you can be permanent with another man in your life, can you?"
He looks at me with pity. "To think you trusted me a little, Naruto! This really hurts," he looks away.
"It's not about that! You called this unnecessary! That hurt!"
"Then what else am I supposed to call it? Is fretting over the future really necessary? Why must you keep ruining the little time we have together?"
"Because it's just that. "Little time that we have together." I mean surely you love me but it's not enough, is it?"
"That question. That's what has been irking me since the past two days." He rubs his forehead agitatedly. "Did I do something to make you doubt me? What am I doing wrong Naruto? Is it different for men?" that helpless look comes back on his face as he looks at me. "I've spent two days thinking about everything we've shared between us and I really can't pinpoint a single place that warranted the thing you said. Do I really have to confess to Sasuke for you to trust me? Is it wrong to ask you to not overthink about things you have no control of in your future, to destroy your present?"
"But you said it was unnecessary!"
"Your hopeless worrying about something that's completely beyond your control is unnecessary. Why can't you get that?"
"Because I'm scared! I'm scared that once I'm gone, what we have between us could get destroyed!" I look at him desperately, willing him to understand. "That you might realize you don't really like me all that much and maybe…"
"Can we please leave my feelings out of this?" He clutches his arms. "What makes you think your passion won't cool? Who's to say you won't start wanting out?"
"Something like that will never happen. You know it."
"Yes, I do. And do you know where that conviction comes from?" he looks at me seriously. "It comes from how much I trust you. And though you may love me, you don't trust me. And you know what Naruto, this, we, here, we can't work without it." He shakes his head at me.
I hang my head down in shame. I cannot reassure him. I didn't trust him to stay. I didn't trust him to love me back. I hate myself for it.
"What have I done to garner this mistrust?"
"Nothing."
He inhales deeply. "Then why? Why would you think such things?"
"Because I wanted to hear you say it. I wanted you to think of a future with someone you love."
"You're an absolute idiot, do you know that?" he flicks me mercilessly on my forehead. "Isn't it obvious that I love you too?" He chuckles a little. "If you keep talking about breaking up for the stupidest reasons, I'll seriously get angry. Do I look like someone who'd just up and confess to someone only to casually wave them goodbye when the time came? I thought we'd broken every wall between us but you just went ahead and created new nonsensical ones. I mean, I'm beginning to doubt my opinion of you." He clicks his tongue, looking irritated. "Whatever happened to that obnoxious narcissism, huh?"
Try as I might, I cannot hide behind that veil today.
He squats by the river side and beckons me to him. I take my seat next to him dutifully. Guilt makes me want to do the dogeza but I don't think that will help abate his anger.
"Then is it okay if I take this to mean you're thinking of a future too?" I whisper, cutting things down to the core.
He flicks me again on my forehead. "Yes."
"Ow!" I grab the area and rub irritated. It hurts dammit!
"It's your punishment. Take it while I'm being nice." I nod, ashamed.
"Even though I'm a man and this might entail people calling you gay too?" I look at him, straight in the eye and ask my question. If we're putting everything out there, might as well.
"Pinning everything on your sexuality is a habit of yours, isn't it? Kiba was right to be mad at you!" he sighs. "Believe it or not, but your gender has very little to do with me liking you, even though it has its perks," he flicks me expertly on the same place again, grinning. "So, yes, even though you are a man." He smiles at me, lighting everything up again like someone put my personal sun in the sky.
"Why do you like an asshole like me?" my stupid, stupid mouth just has to go and ruin the moment.
He laughs. "Calling yourself an asshole! You're insanely adorable." He pinches my cheek this time, hard enough to throb later. "But why would you say that?" he asks me.
"I mean I'm mean, petty, monopolizing and obnoxiously narcissistic idiot like you said. And sometimes I get so caught up in my thoughts, I end up saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, ruining what we have." I lick my lips, "Saying it like that really makes it sound worse," he interrupts my mental rant with a laugh. "But really, don't you get tired of me?" I ask, despite hating this self-deprecating thought process of mine.
"Hmm," he pretends to think. "Maybe once, okay twice?" he smiles when I huff and he sobers. "But especially when you let your wayward thoughts take charge and doubt me, I don't like it. I've done nothing to deserve it."
It's true. He has, not once, hidden any of his feelings. My haste has brought on a rift in between us. It's been my fault. We keep using our respective relationships with Sasuke as a shield to keep the truth from him. But the moment I could use Kiba, I did. This love brings out a desperate side to me that is pathetic.
"I'm really sorry, Itachi-sama." My eyes drop to the floor immediately, shame filling me up.
"Don't be sorry Naruto. At least not for wanting a future with me. And though I might have said a few unpleasant things, I don't want it to ruin things between us." He pauses to look at me. Tired of you?" he chuckles, "Not in the slightest."
"What did I do to deserve you?" I ask him in awe. I'm completely blown away by this man's transparency, his honesty, his generosity. Hell his existence in my life alone feels like a miracle.
His eyes twinkle when they look at me. "I can think of a few things," the loaded answer makes me smile. But when I look down again, he lifts my chin. Questions swarm his midnight eyes. "What is with the stream of self-loathing? Are you guilty about something? Did something happen with Kiba and Sasuke at dinner?" his tone is somber now as he looks at me like he can see through me.
After his show of transparency, of trust, if I was to stay quiet, this is unfair to him more than I can imagine. "Sasuke is convinced I'm dating Kiba." Midnight eyes look at me in anger.
"What? Why? How is it that I leave you alone for two days and you kick up a new storm?" his voice is back to being deadly quiet. He's angry. Furious even.
"Kiba put his stupid foot in his mouth and blurted out something stupid."
"And you didn't correct it?" he crosses his arms across his chest.
"I panicked and played along."
"What did Kiba say?"
"He called me his boyfriend and then that arrogant jackass called me sweetheart. It was honestly the stupidest thing he could think of and when I was put on the spot, I called him that too."
He exhales loudly. "And pray tell me, what are you planning to achieve with this, Naruto-kun? I trust you implicitly but you just go ahead and…" The formality in his tone pricks like needles on my skin.
I tell him about the whole fiasco. Right from the moment Kiba and I stepped out of the dorm and saw him standing there right down to the escape.
He sighs, irritated.
"Then what should I have done? Sasuke was looking at me like he could see the very depths of my soul. What should I have done? Told him flat out that my sweetheart is someone else? That it's you?" I don't want to be angry. I shouldn't be angry. If positions were reversed, I'd probably want to rip the person who dared take my place, even as a joke. It's not my place to be angry.
But why do we keep circling back to the same issue over and over again? "Of course, there was nothing else you could do. Did it help? Does my brother approve of your romance with Kiba?" It's not jealousy that's hardened his tone to ice. It's something else entirely.
"No," I take a deep breath. "It just makes everything worse. I keep trying to gather enough courage for the day he'll know the truth and I know he will. And while I wouldn't give a single shit about his opinion, I can't deny the fact that he is your brother. It makes everything so much harder to achieve."
"And that's why you went and assumed the absolute worst." he flicks me and I wither instantly.
"I'm sorry about that. But this, I'll clear the air with him. I promise."
He takes a deep breath before speaking. "What's between you and Sasuke is between you and Sasuke. You can't keep using my relationship with him as a shield. But I am not okay with you playing along."
I nod. "I'll make it right."
"Is there anything else that you did which needs to be reported?" I have to strain my ears to catch the last part as he takes a step closer to the stream. "Anything else you two did?"
I cross the distance between us to turn to him and smirk. "Territorial, are we?" I quirk a brow at him.
He looks at me with that same incomprehensible irritation. "What part of you are mine, do you not understand?" his expression morphs to wild curiosity. "I don't like anyone's hands on you Naruto. Especially not that way. I'm holding it together by a thread right now so answer me quickly or else…"
I kiss that wayward mouth. "You're the cutest in the world, Itachi-sama. And I'm yours. Only yours."
"Then stop worrying about other people and focus on me, okay?"
I laugh. "I'm already all about you." I chuckle. "Anymore and Kiba says he'll have a heart attack. He told me the face I make when I think of you is going to give him diabetes. He says the cutest things sometimes."
"First sweetheart and now cute, are you sure there's nothing going on between you two?" his wry tone does not go unnoticed. I hate this game of hot and cold.
I look up at sharply at him. I feel like I've been tacked to a target board and he's got his arsenal of darts ready to strike me down one after the other. "Don't even think about it. Were you even listening to what I was saying?" I raise a brow at him.
"But calling him all of that in front of me," he sucks in his cheeks and pouts as he stares ahead.
"There's no way in hell this can happen," I start as I lift his face and look at him, "but I want to ask just to be sure." He looks away and corrects his locks of hair. Then he looks at me, still pouting. Adoration fills me. "Are you sulking right now, Itachi-sama?" I ask. He looks so cute right now, I feel like I'll lose rationality.
"Yes," even his voice sounds like he's slightly mad at something.
"Because I called Kiba cute?" I ask, just to be absolutely certain.
This fluffy feeling that fills my chest just grows lighter and lighter and makes me feel like I'm floating.
"And sweetheart." Itachi looks away and I inhale sharply.
"Eh? Just so you know, you are my sweetheart and the only person who's the cutest in the world for me! When I called him cute, I didn't mean it that way." Itachi interrupts me with a humph. "Acting like this when you hate it each time I call you that."
"There's that but hearing you call someone else cute is not nice at all." I want to kiss him.
"Please stop being this cute Itachi-sama. It's not good for my heart. I don't mean any endearment for anyone with the same meaning as I do for you." I hash out agitatedly.
"Ah Naruto, you're too easy!" he shakes his head at me.
"But you are so cute Itachi-sama, I just can't help myself."
"Hearing a man call me cute is just embarrassing," he shakes his head when he looks at me. "Even if it's you. Don't say it again."
"Why? I would love it if you called me cute. In fact, I would kill to hear it all the time!" I smile at him. "You can call me cute anytime you want," I make a little finger heart for him, making him cover his face and laugh. "I am after all, your one and only, cute, cute, Naruto." I pose cutely when I look at him.
He pulls my cheeks. "This cute appeal is falling on deaf ears."
"What part?" I inquire.
"Your cute finger hearts."
I laugh. "The fact that you called it cute speaks volumes." He squeezes my cheeks till my lips pucker and bites the lower lip.
"You're banned from doing that in front of anyone else." I make finger hearts with both my hands and he laughs before he bites me again.
"Want to lock me up in a room too?" I wink at him and he looks up with wide eyes at me like I read his mind.
"If I have to. I mean, a man's got to do what a man's got to do, right? I'm just setting my boundaries. I thought I might as well set some ground rules if we're in for the long haul."
"For life?" I ask him.
"Eh? That long," he looks at me, a little scared. "I was thinking along five years or so," he chuckles when he looks at my horrified face.
"No. This is for life, afterlife and probably every other." I look at him sincerely. "You've got no choice. I'm all you've got. Not that you'll ever need it but no exchange or replacement will work," I tell him confidently. "There's no getting over me."
"Ah, it's finally here! I never thought I'd say this but I missed it, your narcissism," he taps me on my nose, smiling cutely at me. I return his smile. I feel like someone's lifted a truck off my chest.
"Coming back to our conversation, I want you and only you."
His cheeks pinken with the happiness I can see in his eyes as he considers this. "Are you okay with that long?"
"Even that won't be enough."
Itachi sobers. "Since you wanted to be reassured so bad, I'll only say this once. I can't promise what turn our lives will take, but irrespective of where we are, I want to be with you Naruto. For as long as you'll have me."
"You swear?"
"I swear."
He seals it with a kiss. "Does this mean you forgive me?" I ask him.
"Yes. But if you doubt me again, it won't be nice." Itachi looks at me warningly. "Also, when, if we break up, it will be because of us and us alone. I'm not letting you go anywhere because of someone else or distance. Don't forget we're only the two of us here. I'm warning you, don't even think about bringing others here or I'll really get angry."
"What will you do?" I play along.
His eyes flash warningly. "Want to try putting our relationship to the test?" he asks silkily.
"Don't even joke about it!" I flash blue eyes at him and his eyes glint seriously.
"That's not a joke." He looks at the water almost thoughtfully. "On that note," he turns back to look at me at I'm blown away by the sheer possessiveness in his eyes. I swallow nervously. "There's one more thing I'd like to add," his formal tone makes me squirm. I'm scared of this new decree that's going to be passed. "Don't let anyone else call you sweetheart and cute," says the man with the cutest expression on his face. Ugh, I don't think I can ever get enough of him. I pull him to me and squeeze him as if I could absorb him. I want to be one with this man to that extent.
"In return can you call me cute or sweetheart please?" I ask him.
He looks up at me. "No. Those words are cheap now."
"What?"
He rubs his thumbs on my cheeks. "Besides, you're my darling Naruto. Nothing else does you justice."
I gasp. It's what he calls Kiyoshi. "My darling," he whispers it sweetly in my ear.
"Forever?"
"Back to self-doubt? Does our little Naruto-kun want to be pampered today?" he asks, chucking me under the chin.
"Yes. Forever?" I repeat.
"Forever," he agrees.
"You swear?"
"I swear."
I bend down when his head comes up for a kiss.
He kisses me roughly, wantonly, seeking pleasure in the high of dominating the kiss. I let him. I want this man to dominate me like this. Domesticate me, make me his. He grins once done and he puts some distance between us.
He grabs my ass and palms it roughly. "Also, wearing blue jeans in a fight is cheating. You're banned from doing that as well."
"I was desperate you see. A man's got to do what a man's got to do." I wink at him and he swats a hand across my ass cheek.
This man, one day. I swear.
I sip from my can of Coke and press 'submit' with a flourish. The progress I make in the next two days regarding all my submissions and pending work is nothing short of extraordinary. My third draft has been approved by Tenten-san with good feedback and I feel like I'm floating in the air. And why shouldn't I? His Majesty, Itachi-sama himself has invited me for a movie date next weekend. It's a late-night date and I'm hoping we'll get busy later. But more than that, it's the first time we're going out for a movie. He's asked me to choose the movie and I've been wondering which one to choose. But whichever one it is, there's just one thing that's got me over the moon. I'm getting to sit next to him and watch him uninterrupted for almost two hours. It makes tingles run down my spine. I can look at him forever. I sigh dreamily as I imagine us holding hands over the armrest or sharing popcorn between us. I wonder what flavor he likes. I make a mental note to ask him later.
"Done with all your work?" Kiba asks from beside me. We're seated in the campus cafeteria and finishing our work after dinner. I nod, beaming at him.
He scrunches his nose at me and it makes me throw a napkin at him. "Ugh. Tone it down a little, will you? We're in public," he grumbles.
"What did I do?" I look at him innocently.
"You're thinking about him again," he shakes his head and laughs. "You are unbelievably transparent!"
I grin. "Can't help it. Let's go?" I ask. Itachi has gone home to his parents' today with Kiyoshi and Sasuke. It's their wedding anniversary. He asked me not to stay up saying he won't know when he'll return and he doesn't want to disturb me. I get that finals are next week and he's only looking out for me but I miss him a little. I sigh morosely again.
"Did something happen?" Kiba tries really hard to be nonchalant but I can see his concern when we walk the short distance to the dorm.
I shake my head. "I just miss him, I guess."
"Then just go see him," he nudges me.
"Can't. He's gone to his parents' house today."
"Ah man, tough luck. Wanna go for some drinks then?" he asks, ruffling my hair.
"Nah. I have stuff I need to do." I tell him as I punch in my code and open the door to our dorms.
Kiba grins. "Like moping in your room?"
"Leave me alone."
He exhales loudly once we reach our floor. "Okay, but if you wanna talk or just hang out, I'll be next door."
I nod and thank him. I try to perk up but I can't. "Why did you do that?" I ask. "Say all of that in front of Sasuke, I mean."
Kiba jiggles his keys once before pocketing them. "Why do you think I did?"
"Was it because of our fight?" I ask him skeptically.
Kiba rubs his chin with a hand and I seriously think he's contemplating murder. "Ah yes, that fight," Kiba laughs, surprising me. "I'd already forgotten about it!" He shakes his head. "I did it because I know Sasuke is making you antsy." He chuckles. "Though I seriously think he's blind. Your face when you simply hear Itachi's name…" Kiba shakes his head. "You're too amusing Naruto!"
"Yeah, yeah. Enjoy a poor man's plight why don't you," I punch him gently on the shoulder.
"But I really want to tell you that I have your back should you ever need me. As far as my thoughts on your relationship are concerned, I think you like him not only because he's a man but because he's him, right? So even if it's for as long as you want me to, I'm willing to be your shield." Kiba smiles at me as he pats my shoulder.
"Thanks Kiba." I smile at him. "But you'll never have to. I'm planning to tell Sasuke the truth."
His brown eyes widen. "You're going to tell him about you and Itachi?" he asks me seriously.
"I don't think I'll go that far yet." Not when I know the tide is not in my favor. That perhaps it'll never be. But right now, he needs to stay in the dark. My days here with Itachi are limited for god's sake! I can't risk this gamble at any cost! It fosters the reason for our hesitation. I don't think he'd think for a second to introduce me as his boyfriend in front of anyone else. I'm sure of that. I love him. I have to trust him. And then again and I went and misjudged him.
"Well, whatever you do, just know that you'll always have the great Inuzuka Kiba at your side." I grab him in a tight hug and hold him to me. Some of the pressure in my chest eases. His arms come around me and he chuckles.
"Thanks Kiba. It really means a lot." I tell him when we draw apart. I getsure towards my door. "You know what, come on in!"
He grins goofily. "But you gotta admit, sweetheart really did Sasuke's brain in even though it was wrong. Now that I think about it, it was more because I wanted to see his reaction." He enters my room and casually leans against my table.
I flick him on his forehead. "That's twisted dude! Especially when you knew it would land me in shit! Itachi chewed me out like I'm his favorite bone," I shake my head and wince at my choice of words. Kiba's face morphs to regret. I'm sure he's putting pictures to sound of that night. This naturally reminds me that I can't have my man in my arms for the night.
"Ugh Naruto! You're killing me!" He takes off his shoes and clambers on top of my duvet like he belongs there.
I ruffle his hair. "Now hurry up and bag your lady before she catches someone else's eye. Who knows maybe one day we could go on a double date?" I raise a brow at him, turning to perch near his legs.
Kiba ruffles my hair in turn. "Will you be able to handle her cuteness above yours?" he asks.
I wink at him. "Hmm, I only seek validation from one person who doesn't look at others but this piece of perfection so I'm willing to compromise." I point at myself make a haughty face at him. "But someone here isn't making a single move!"
"I have actually," he smirks triumphantly. "I have a dinner date with her."
"Holy shit! What brought on this development?" I sit up excitedly.
He runs a hand through his hair and laughs. "It's a celebratory dinner for passing my draft without a single complaint. She said yes immediately," he makes a peace sign.
"I knew she likes you! Now please just confess to her!" I beg dramatically.
He rolls his eyes. "Look at all that naïve optimism. I'm just going to go with the flow."
I roll my eyes at him. "Dude, it's staring me in the eyeballs that she likes you. But I know the pain of being rejected so I can say this. Now while I know she's going to say yes, but on the off chance that she doesn't, just know that you didn't blow your chance with her."
"I know all that! But the thought alone makes me terribly nervous."
"I get that. I get that very well."
"It must have been more difficult for you with Itachi-san. Honestly, how did you confess to him?" he asks me curiously. "Did you get drunk or something?"
I laugh and shake my head. I get off the bed and turn to open my fridge. I pull out a bottle of white wine that I bought just the other day. I shake the bottle at him. "Want some?" I ask him. He eyes the wine and then me.
"Eh? Is it something that requires liquid courage? Are we having a sleepover like fancy ladies? Will you do my nails for me?" He bats his eyelashes at me and I just roll my eyes as I look for two mugs I can pour the alcohol in. I pass him a mug and sit down opposite him. It's cramped as hell but it doesn't feel bad.
I think about the question. "Hmm, for me it came out unexpectedly. I was so caught up in the mood, it just slipped out."
"That must have been terrible," he laughs.
I laugh. "It was. But once it was out, I realized how much I'd wanted to voice it. How much I wanted him to know. I panicked like a madman but now I think even when he rejected me, I didn't regret saying it."
"How did Itachi-san take it?"
"He knew. Told me later, he'd known for a while. Turns out, I wasn't too hard to read. He just didn't think I'd confess so suddenly." I make a face. I've always wanted to be this cool person in front of him and yet he sees through me like glass. I smile beatifically at him.
"Your pink aura really rubs off on people. It truly makes me want to confess to her," Kiba sighs. "I thought both you and Itachi were love idiots, I didn't know I'd become one too!"
"Pink aura? What the hell is that?" I laugh, taking another sip.
We sit quietly for a couple of seconds. "Wanna watch the latest episode of that insane ninja anime?" I ask suddenly.
Kiba gasps. "Fuck yes! That's a brilliant idea!"
Turns out wine and anime are not a good combination. The episode we watch is so intense, it's got us sipping our wine purely out of anxiety. Kiba opens the fridge and peers at it. "Fuck! It's all gone!" he laughs. "Second to last episodes always do this to me."
"Yeah me too," I stand up and walk to the fridge. I should have a bottle of sparkling somewhere. I'd received it as a Christmas present from the Russian girl in my program for Christmas. She'd been my secret Santa. I look around for it and recall the night I drank myself insane.
"Hang on a second!" Kiba rushes out of my room to his room where I can hear him grab a bottle of something and rush back to my room.
It's a jumbo bottle of sake. "Not a good idea," I mumble looking at it.
He rolls his eyes. "We'll just have a little."
"Too much alcohol will cause an early death," I moan, covering my face with my hands. "And Itachi will kill me if I drink too much."
He clicks his tongue as he opens the bottle and proceeds to pour copious amounts of it in both our cups. "Live a little!"
The china clinks together as we sip from our cups. The sake is sweet. I lick my lips for more of the flavor. "This sake is delicious!"
"I know, right! This one is from a small brewery in Mie. It's not very known but the taste hits just right." We clink our coffee mugs again and I take another sip.
I produce a bag of chips and one of caramel popcorn. I read somewhere once that they go well together. with sake Kiba laughs at my choice of snacks. "Wanna watch something else?" I ask, turning my laptop towards us.
Kiba hums for a second. "Sure?"
We decide on a series we've both been avoiding for some time and settle in. The air conditioner is set to the perfect temperature and Kiba is just about the best companion to watch a series with. Then again, maybe not with how my cup is never empty. A little bit of sake is the only thing left in that humungous bottle.
Before we realize, we've watched the whole series and it's only when the end credits roll that Kiba lies on top of my bed and laughs. "That damned ending! It was just too good." He wobbles as he tries to sit up. I lend him a hand. My own hand feels unsteady. "Damn, my head's beginning to spin!"
So is mine, I realize. This sake is fairly potent.
I lie beside him over my duvet and close my eyes for a second to focus on things. "Kiba," I say slowly. My words slur but I don't care. He hums, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Just confess to her soon dude!"
He laughs. "Why are you so gung-ho?"
"Because I think she's going to say yes."
"Should things go that far, I hope so too." He turns towards me and then lies down again. "I'm just super nervous."
"It's okay to be." I close my eyes for a moment to gather myself.
"I know I haven't said this before but," he clears his throat self-consciously. "It's all thanks to you Naruto. I'm kind of glad we fought," he smiles.
Some fights are for the good. I know that too. Itachi's confession makes me just a little glad for the fight I had with him.
I try to lift my hand to ruffle his hair but my hand refuses to cooperate. "Me too."
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask him. The alcohol thrums in my veins, loosening my tongue.
He sits up and pokes my cheek with his finger. "Since when do you need permission Uzumaki? Ask away!"
"Did you perhaps say all of that in front of Sasuke to show me that I was wrong about what I said to you before?" I clear my throat and ask, trying to frame it as best as I can with my current state of mind.
Kiba sighs. "Maybe? I don't know."
"I'm sorry Kiba, I know I was an asshole for our fight. Itachi-sama agrees with you, by the way." I look at him and smile.
Kiba lies down again. "Water under the bridge," he waves a hand dismissively as he moves to sit up. "I think I'm going to go to my room now. Need to crash." He's going to be snoring the moment his head hits the pillow. I'm sure of that.
"Alright. Good night, Kiba," I sit up and watch him close my door. I laugh when he jiggles his keys and swears under his breath and make my way to his door. Well, wobble my way to him.
"Need my help?" I ask, holding out a hand for the keys. He squints at my hand before grabbing it with the other before depositing his keys.
I narrow my eyes and concentrate on the right key and slide it into the slot. The key refuses to go in, thanks to my shaky hand. Kiba places his hand over mine to steady it and we both giggle stupidly. Finally, when the key slides in and his lock clicks open, he smiles at me. "Thanks. You're a good guy." I laugh, ruffling his hair. He removes his head from under my hand and stands to his full height. "Remember, if you ever need my help sweetheart, you know where to find me." He winks at me despite the slur.
I snort. "Shut up!"
Kiba laughs before closing his door.
I laugh once before turning around to go back to my room and my eyes collide with midnight ones. Elation fills me in leaps and bounds as happiness flows through me. "Itachi-sama!" I move to where he's standing and grab him tightly in my arms. I bury my nose in his neck and take in his smell. "Ah, it's Itachi-sama for real!" I giggle happily.
Itachi exhales loudly once before he puts his arms around me to draw me back a little. "You drank." It's neither a question nor a statement. It's perfectly in the in-between. Normally, I'd have caught on to it and examined it a little. But right now, Itachi's body heat is all I want.
I giggle. "Yeah. Kiba had a bottle this size," I lift my hands and demonstrate the size of the bottle.
He eyebrows rise as he looks at me with interest. "And you drank the whole thing I presume?"
Maybe I'm on trial, being grilled. Maybe he's mad at me. But right now, I don't care. The alcohol has got me in a state where I'm high on his presence here. "Yup," I smile, "but not me alone. Kiba drank too."
"I could see that," a corner of his lips lifts when I grab his face and feel the texture of his cheekbones. "Was there a special occasion?"
"Ah!" I look at him as if hit by something. "Special occasion! Itachi-sama how was dinner with your parents?"
I look, look at him properly for the first time. I take in his white t-shirt and dark denim jacket. He's paired the ensemble with a dark jeans. I sway slightly when I move to throw my arms around him again. "You look so fucking hot! For me, you'd be the dinner."
Itachi bursts out laughing and I lick a strip of his neck. He stiffens and moves away and grabs the area I've licked. He looks at me in shock. "Uzumaki Naruto are you always like this when you're drunk?" he asks in a slow, furious whisper.
"Why?" I nibble his skin. "Do you not like me like this?"
Itachi looks at me wearily and then rubs his forehead. "That really is not the problem here." He looks down at my bare feet and then moves to open my room. "Grab your slippers, we're going to get you sobered up."
I look at the man who's watching me with worried eyes, picking up my phone and keys for me before turning to my slippers. I cover the distance between us and grab his face in a kiss, then another, then another before he forcefully pushes me away to take a breath. "What are you doing? Kiba is right next door!" Kiba snores loudly as if to announce his presence during roll call and I burst out laughing. He joins me a second later and then we're giggling like idiots.
I grab him in my arms again and lead him to the bed "A night like this should not be a night wasted," I mutter, straddling him when he sits down.
He laughs. "Says the man who's so drunk he won't even remember tonight."
I lift my head from where I was leisurely nuzzling my favorite spot on his neck and look at him. "I wasn't planning to," I tell him. "That was before I saw you here. Now I don't think I'll forget a single thing." I shower him with kisses all over his face. He laughs as he tries to push my face away.
"I'm not willing to go to jail for attacking someone who's shit-faced drunk," he laughs.
I nuzzle his neck again. "But who's to know? You're here and I can't get enough." I nip every inch of skin I can get. His divine taste and smell awaken the beast inside me.
"Do you really like me that much?" I remove my face from his neck and peer down at his face.
His lips are curved up in a smile he only gives me. Happiness radiates from every pore. "Yes." I nod and then giggle. I throw my head back and look at my ceiling. My eyes roll to the back of my head when I close them so I force them open and smile beatifically at him. I'm practically sitting on his lap and he's smiling at me like a loon.
"And what are you getting up to now?" he asks me when I shift closer to him. I rain kisses on whatever stretch of skin I can. I'm almost squinting through my lashes at him. I grind my hips over him and he sucks in a breath. "Are you going to ride me to paradise baby?"
I push him down and lean over him. "Damn right, I am! I'm gonna show you stars!"
He pulls down my face and kisses it. "You better not forget this."
It's the only warning I get before he squeezes my butt and smirks at me. I look down and my world spins in an ecstatic tizzy, showing me stars.
That's the last thing I remember.
I wake up like someone's mowing a lawn inside my fucking head. I open my eyes a bit and regret the action immediately when sunlight threatens to start setting the inside of my brain to fire even though it's only dawn. There's a soft clinking sound which rings like bells in my ears. I turn away from the source of the sound and my body aches, making my eyes fly open. Itachi!
"Itachi-sama!" I sit up and regret the action on various levels. I look down to see I'm only dressed in my boxers.
A laugh sounds and then Itachi is walking to my bed and sitting at the corner of it. He turns behind him and places a cup on it. "How are you feeling?" he asks gently when he turns around.
"Like a complete idiot. What did I do last night?" I lift his hand and rub my cheek against it pitifully. He strokes my cheek and laughs quietly. I take him in. He's wearing one of my graphic t-shirts which has mixtapes all over it. His hair is open and parted, the silky tresses resting on either shoulder. His legs are bare. He's wearing nothing but his boxers and that t-shirt. He looks gorgeous. I pat the space next to me. "Come here," I say in a quiet whisper. "Now tell me."
He smiles before walking over to my side and sitting beside me. He links his fingers with mine. "Nothing too bad," he smiles, placing a kiss on our linked hands. I rest my head on his shoulder. My free hand removes the hair from his shoulder to nuzzle in my favorite spot. I bend down to press a kiss only to find a mark there. It's a purple bruise and it stands right where even a blind person can see it. Itachi slaps his hand over it before I can inspect further.
I look at him stupefied. "Just what the hell did I do to you Itachi-sama?" I push his hand away to inspect further. The caveman wants to examine his handiwork, appreciate it even; while rational me is already drowning in remorse when I remove his t-shirt and see the bite marks scattered all over his skin. They're everywhere.
I place my head on his chest and let out a groan. "Why didn't you stop me?"
"Why should I have?" he asks me instead.
I shrug as I examine the littering of teeth marks all over his skin. He looks like a sexy cheetah. "Was that all I did?" I ask, licking a kiss mark on his shoulder.
"Yup." He laughs.
"That's it?" he laughs again when I fail to hide my relief. "I didn't…didn't force you or anything, did I?"
He laughs louder. "As if I'd let you!"
"But I seriously didn't do or say anything more?" I look at him for the answer.
To my surprise, he blushes. He turns his head towards the wall on the left and I turn his face around. "What did I do that you aren't telling me?"
His eyes meet mine and then he shakes his head. "Nothing much, honestly."
I nod and wince when the action makes me feel like someone clubbed me. I tell him that. He moves to retrieve the cup he'd placed on the table. He stirs the content of the drink and passes it to me. "It's honey water. It'll help with the hangover."
I take the cup and sip from it. It goes down smoothly. I drink it all in one go. "Do you normally drink this much?"
"Nope. Last night was probably the first time I passed out like that." I open my eyes and regard him.
"It would do you well to not drink so much," he rubs a thumb over my left hand before patting it.
"Why? Because I promised rides to paradise and didn't fulfill them?" I kiss his jaw when he turns to me.
He laughs self-consciously as he covers his mouth. "I can't believe you remembered that! Please forget it."
"As if I'd ever!" I trail my lips up higher on his neck and press a kiss behind his ear. "You know we can rectify the ride situation."
"Uh-huh. How?" he inquires, raising those midnight brows at me.
I lean over him and he tenses. A soft breath escapes him and hits my cheek, making me smile. But I lean further and place my cup of honey water beside the bed, on the floor. Then I turn back and grab his face before he can react. I kiss him fiercely. "I'm going to ride you to paradise baby."
This is not a rehash of last night. If anything, it's a fresh memory waiting to be carved upon this dawn.
I fetch the bottle of lube and condoms at break neck speed. I ditch my boxers along the way.
Throwing everything on the bed, I pour some on my hand and push my hand lower. He leans forward for another kiss. His hands skim down my sides to move to my back. He looks up at me and I pause all movement when I see the look in his eye. "Don't you dare forget this."
I push two fingers inside me as an answer. He gasps, smiling at me. His hand joins mine. He stimulates me like he's been doing it all his life, Maybe he will. The thought makes me nip his neck again. He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me. Yes he will.
Two hours later, when he bites my neck and shudders inside me, I know I won't ever forget this day. This dawn is etched in gold.
"How was paradise baby?" I ask once he pulls himself out and ties the condom. I'm numb from the waist down. I wasn't expecting him to go at it without stopping. My hand trembles when I bring it to his face to remove his hair.
"Unforgettable."
Thursday evening finds me in the library, staring begrudgingly at the bar graph I'm making. The numbers are starting to make my brain hurt. I think I'm going to go sleep now. My lover is home at his place for his movie night with Kiyoshi so I have no plans with him tonight. I sigh morosely as I get up to get some coffee. I walk up to the vending machine right next to the toilets. After I've picked up the can of their strongest coffee, I flip the tab and turn around to see Hinata-chan walking in, settling her lilac skirt. Her eyes meet mine. She turns red as she looks down and then back at me again. I wave at her as I quickly jog up to her. "Good evening Hinata-chan," I greet her excitedly.
"Naruto-kun," she turns even redder. "Why are you here?"
I laugh embarrassed as I scratch my head and look around. "I was just getting some coffee. I've to write my research paper too you know… Ah, speaking of which, are you here together with Kiba by any chance?" I ask her.
His name makes her hands visibly shiver. She touches her lower lip and now I know why she's so distracted. Kiba has made some moves. I'm loving this progress. "Ah, Kiba-kun," she nods as a smile touches the corners of her lips almost unconsciously.
"Yes, could you tell me where he is, Kiba-kun, I mean," I smile innocently at her.
"Are you waiting here for him? Do you have plans?" she asks me puzzled.
"Nah. I just needed to see him for a second," I tell her, smiling politely.
"He should still be inside. We were just together in the room there." She points to an ambiguous direction. "He had some problem with his zipper. The zipper of his bag I mean, not his pants." Her face flushes red and then she looks down once again, clearly embarrassed. "We were only here for a meeting about his research paper not doing…" she trails off and hides her mouth behind a hand, clearly trying to stop talking. Then she hiccups.
I pointedly ignore the words her eyes silently bid me to forget while fighting a laugh. She's damn cute. I'm assuming something happened and judging from her face and how she keeps hiding her mouth tells me plenty enough of what happened. She tucks a lock of her sleek long hair which glistens to a shine. The color looks almost dark blue. She wears a simple lilac skirt dress which accentuates her soft curves just perfectly. She looks like a classic example of Japanese beauty.
"You should have waited for me Hina-chan," Kiba's voice makes her gasp and Kiba slacken his jaw when he sees me.
I raise a brow at him. Hina-chan! Now if that isn't a massive development or what? "Hi bas- uh Naruto! Fancy meeting you here," he smiles awkwardly at me.
Hinata gathers her bearings and smiles at us, her cheeks still visibly pink. "I'll just use the restroom," she hurriedly escapes. I laugh as I look at Kiba.
"Managed to sort your zipper, huh? A flustered Hina-chan told me everything." Kiba turns as red as his tutor.
He covers his face with his hands. "That's not how I wanted you two to meet!" he moans, his voice muffled.
"But we've met before dude. What are you saying?"
"After she said yes you imbecile." Kiba spots her first and smiles in the cheesiest way possible. Hinata blushes before she tucks her hair behind her ear again and looks down shyly. Her eyes flick to me and I can feel her unease.
"Do I make that face?" I look at him and that cheesy smile changes to irritation.
"Worse. Now I think you should go." Kiba pats me.
"Am I interrupting your date?" I ask as realization dawns on me suddenly.
"Yes, so go now." Kiba says as he walks up to her and they beam at each other.
I walk up to Hinata-chan and surprise her by taking her hand and kissing it. "I'm going to go now since I don't want to third-wheel. But it was pleasure meeting you. I hope to see you soon."
Hinata turns as red as a tomato and Kiba seethes. I wink at him cheekily. "See you later."
Date in the library, huh? Must be her idea. I can't fathom Kiba concocting a date plan in the library. But then again, he likes Hinata. So maybe for her sake?
Hmm…speaking of which…
Although I see my nerdy Itachi-sama amidst books all the time, seeing him here in the library would be a joyride of its own kind. He'd pass for a college student. Hell, I could even smuggle him in on one of my lectures. Greed to be in this space with him fills me.
But a date in the library sounds awfully romantic. I smirk when an idea hits me.
My hand stops from where it was in the process of tucking a lock of Itachi's hair behind his ear. We're in his shop and I'm trying to convince him for the library date. I straighten when the glass doors open of Itachi's shop. I turn in time to see Sasuke walking in, his eyes on his phone. Before he can look up, I instinctively move to the side, near the far end to create space between us. Sasuke's eyes cut to his brother and then to me. "You're still having your formal Japanese classes?" he asks. "Finals are next week!"
I frown even as a laugh bursts out of me. "What the hell are you talking about dude? These classes will go on till I go home. Even after that!" I say.
Sasuke frowns. "Then do them with me from now on," he says. "Since I won't be teaching you grammar anymore, I can take over," he looks at his brother.
I look at Itachi, waiting to see his reaction to the whole situation. "But Naruto has studied this with me from the start!" Itachi says. "I'm sure it'll be better if I continue teaching him. It's no problem, really," he assures his younger brother and then smiles politely at us.
Sasuke gives his brother a strange look. I stop breathing. Inside me the tsunami builds, strengthens. In a moment, I had never in the wildest dreams imagined, my two worlds were going to collide like this. "But I'm free," Sasuke says, his eyes still on his brother.
"It's okay Sasuke. I'm used to Itachi's style now. In fact, it works perfectly," I smile at him, trying hardest to seem as normal as I can. I don't like having the two of them in the same space. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating.
"Ah so he's a better teacher?" Sasuke asks, point-blank. My breath stutters as I glance at him.
"Let's just say, the last time you taught him formal Japanese, I took over, remember?" Itachi's voice is quiet, strained with the forced lightness of it.
"Yeah, but I can take it from here. Don't worry, it'll be fun," Sasuke says. There's an edge to his voice. I turn warning eyes to my lover and silently shake my head. No. You're provoking him.
"Well this is convenient. You pushed him on me at the hardest part and now you want to have fun?" Itachi says, making me catch my breath. Sasuke looks like he's been slapped.
"Then you shouldn't have gone ahead with the idea of teaching him if it was that hard. I'm sure Naruto would have understood. Wouldn't you, Naruto?" he's dragging me in between them and I don't know what to do.
Words are being exchanged like bullets in the heat of war. Their voices are far too low to be normal. This is a fight. I know it.
"Yes but he still taught me and now look I'm even writing my thesis on it." I turn to Itachi and smile in gratitude. "If it's still okay with you, I'd like to continue our classes."
Itachi nods. "Of course!" He turns to his brother and smiles triumphantly. "Well, that settles it," he says with so much aplomb that my smile strains to threatening degrees.
Sasuke does not look happy as he peers at us, one from another. "Then what about me?"
He sounds like a senior officer inquiring the correct protocol from a junior. "What about you? How does this change anything?"
"I know it doesn't. But I thought we'd spend more time together if I took over." Sasuke looks hurt.
I huff out a breath. "Sasuke, this is different. I'm only studying in my sessions with your brother."
"Really? Because lately it feels like there's more to your sessions. Sending videos of Kiyoshi and endless heart-to-hearts. Isn't that why my brother told you of our parents?"
Ah! My words have really come to bite me in the ass. I've given nothing of my relationship away and yet I feel as naked as the day I was born.
"So what if I did?" dead finality rings clear in his words. "What I choose to tell Naruto is none of your business, foolish little brother."
Sasuke looks at his brother and laughs. "Naruto is my best friend Itachi!"
"Telling something that isn't even supposed to be a secret doesn't mean I've taken him from you."
"Then surely he must have told you all about his romance too," Sasuke doesn't miss a beat.
Itachi stays passive. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I ask him.
Sasuke turns to me, fire in his eyes. "Do you really need help with formal Japanese? Can't these sessions stop?"
Sasuke unconsciously has thrown a barbed loop around my neck. Every word carries a different meaning to where I stand with Itachi. I shake my head at him. There is so much I want to say that will put an end to this merciless war but I can't.
"That's because I need help with my research paper." It's the only half-truth I can manage.
"Aren't you already assigned someone for the job?"
"Yes but Itachi-san explains certain things better." I fight the urge to rub my neck.
"Is that it?" Sasuke asks, his voice the same silky texture. "I can help you when we hang out. Why does it have to be him?"
"Because it was always him! It's always been him!" I lash out in an anger borne out of sheer helplessness. I take a deep breath. "He's taught me from the start so he has a better grip on my subject." I fist my hands to not give myself away to this storm looming over the horizon. The room temperature has dropped significantly. Sasuke finally decides to drop the subject.
"Is there a point to this interrogation or are we done here?" he asks, Itachi's tone is laced with anger. Sasuke's jabs are beginning to cause real damage now as my eyes turn to my lover's. He pointedly glares at his brother.
Sasuke shrugs, nonchalantly. "I'm just curious. Did he tell you he's dating Kiba?" Sasuke asks, his voice taking on a hard edge. "Of course you must know!"
I take a deep breath. It's now or never. "Uh…Sasuke, about Kiba," I glance quickly at Itachi once. His nod is almost imperceptible. "He's not the person I'm dating."
Sasuke chuckles, making me frown. "I know that already."
"How?" I was convinced we'd managed to fool him. This leaves me more exposed than I want to be. Hell, this puts Itachi back on the center of this chessboard of scrutiny.
"It wasn't that hard, really. Kiba may have gone ahead and said sweet nothings here and there but it couldn't fool me. In fact, it'd have been more convincing if you'd said you were dating someone else. Even someone like Itachi would have worked! Not that it'd ever happen," the flippancy of his tone makes me bleed.
"Someone like me? What's wrong with liking someone like me huh?" He aims for forced lightness but it lands in the middle of a minefield. "I like Naruto and I like him a lot. What's wrong with that?"
My heart thuds in my chest. His words sweep away everything.
Sasuke laughs it off. "Like you don't know what I'm talking about! Then again, since you like women, maybe you didn't think of it," Sasuke rolls his eyes. He turns to me. "And what's with you keeping this suspense? Surely if my brother knows it, then I should know as well."
Ah. I look at him for a long moment, weighing my options, trying to calculate my gains and losses. Itachi shakes his head at me. This childish diatribe makes me grind my teeth in anger. "Soon."
"That again?" he looks pissed now. "If you can tell my brother then surely you can tell me too!"
I realize that he's more pissed at the fact that his brother knows and he doesn't. It's the competitive nature of his that's winning over genuine curiosity. But it's not something I can tell him. Not yet. Not ever.
He walks towards me. "You are a shitty friend Uzumaki Naruto for telling him and not me." The look in his eyes is not nice. He looks hurt and a million other things I want to put a lid on. He turns around and walks to the glass doors. "This isn't over."
I stay rooted on the spot, unable to say a single word as guilt and relief pool inside me.
Tomorrow when he learns of my relationship with his brother, he's bound to think I used him. How can I ever explain to him that I didn't? Will he believe me? Will he understand? Have I lost him already? What can I do to make this right?
Questions after questions that have no foreseeable answer fill my brain to the brim.
"I can hear you thinking," Itachi's voice is warm. It takes some of the chill that's filling my chest away.
I look at him. "He's not going to stop till he learns the truth."
Itachi sighs before he comes over and takes my hand. "Then we'll just face the music together, won't we?"
I muster a smile despite my wretched misgivings and nod.
He smiles and squeezes my hand.
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