What Marks the Spot?

Hey BeeFF and LadiesMan, saw the announcement on Insta, so it's finally all public. I'm so pumped for you two! The post had the who, what, and when. Did you just forget to include the where

COMMENTS:

OneManAlone: I hear there's a vacancy in the Hoover Dam.

IncidentalSidekick: More importantly, ya forgot the "Why?" As in, why would anyone that hot stoop to LM's level.

Spitfire: Hey! Be civil, IS.

NotTheToothFairy: They aren't going to publish those kinds of details where the 'con "eye in the sky" can find out. It's enough of a security nightmare that the date is public knowledge. I thought I trained you better than that, IS. Need a refresher?

BeeFF: (to OMA) I've heard it's scenic, but there's no way in hell I'm bringing Camaro76 there. (to IS) If you have to ask, you'd never understand the answer.

Faithful: (to BeeFF) Booyah!

PoPo: The issue of venue is a thorny one. I'm in the process of recruiting a specialist to help us navigate it.

BringTheRain: Specialist?

BrassEagle: Not the kind you're thinking, BtR.

LadiesMan217: (to Camaro76) So, in other words the 'where' is still TBD. Today's project however is BeeFF looking for a dress and me tasting cake

NotTheToothFairy: Will there be raspberry filling?

Since Mom and Mikaela were dress hunting and I was not letting Dad anywhere near the food planning, I was kind of on my own for cake tasting at different bakeries. I glumly texted Leo to see if he was around the area to join me but he didn't respond. Thinking on it for a few minutes, I tentatively reached out to Miles to see if he could be my wingman. To my surprise he was up for it. Rayfly and I pulled up to Alison's house where Miles was staying, and after a brief conversation we decided to invite Alison along as someone who could be, as she put it, "the voice of Mikaela."

(Apparently, we were just going to skip over any apologies for senior year of high school and pretend nothing had ever happened. I was perfectly fine with this plan.)

As we headed to the first bakery on the list Mom had provided, Alison started asking questions about our "vision" for the cake. I didn't want another person in the next month to ask me about a vision, but in the spirit of bygones-being-bygones and her doing me a huge favor, I decided to go along with it.

"Are you looking for a traditional tiered cake? Or do you want something more avant-garde?" She started, pen poised over a notepad.

I blinked, trying to remember the pages in the Binder with cakes. "Most likely traditional, but it isn't a deal-breaker if we find something else we like. Cupcakes are okay by me, if it comes down to it."

Alison gave a nod and made a note. "Are you going to have a separate groom's cake?"

"Yes," I said with certainty.

"What are you looking for on flavor? Are there any allergies or other dietary requirements we need to take into account?"

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about whether or not my cousin Brent with the peanut anaphylaxis would be on the groom's side of the wedding, but I wouldn't have even thought of making a list of things to generally avoid. Alison was more than the voice of Mikaela; she was the voice of reason and that was reassuring before I got emotionally invested in having something with pistachios as a topping.

"I have some cousins with nut allergies," I said, "but I think that is the only restriction; though I'll double check before we make a final decision."

Alison nodded, "I'll transcribe these notes and email them to you after today so you remember."

"Oh that'd be really helpful, thanks!" I said.

"Are you going to hold to the 'top tier cake anniversary' tradition?" At my blank look in the rear-view mirror, she went on to explain, "Some people freeze the top of the cake to share on their first anniversary. That sound good to you?"

Without having to think, I answered, "Nah, that's not our style." After all, we'd have a lot of other fun activities for something as important as an anniversary.

"I like your no-nonsense style," Alison said. "Are you going to be this decisive the rest of the day? No pressure," she added immediately. "It's just kind of awesome that you know what you want without having to overthink it."

"Thanks, voice of Mikaela and voice of reason," I joked. "I'm not always a guy who knows what I want, but man, can I have an opinion for what I can't stand."

"Good to know."

"More importantly," Miles interjected, "are any of the cakes going to be chocolate?"

"Possibly the groom's cake - not the main cake though."

The first bakery we visited was called "Sweet-Tarts." I had actually called around to these places in advance and set up appointments, so we were greeted by a self-described "Cake engineer" named Josie who showed us to a small room off the side of the kitchen and out of the public view.

"You said on your call that you aren't really sure what flavor profile you're looking for, but mentioned nothing with nuts and nothing boozy," Josie said as we all sat down on a semi-comfortable couch where some very small cake slices were arranged in front of us on a tea table.

I nodded, "That's right. I mean not sure you can go wrong with chocolate, but not sure if we want it for the main cake."

"Okay, we'll start there then," she said and handed us each a small slice of cake with a clear plastic fork to sample, "This is our chocolate hazelnut cake with a dulce de leche frosting..."

After finishing tasting four different chocolate cake samples, we moved on to the vanilla and almond cakes and then the fruit flavors – lemon, strawberry and even a passion-fruit mango one. Alison dutifully noted down our comments. Between each sample, Josie had us eat a slice of apple to act as a palate cleanser – something I really would not have thought of but was sorely needed.

After we had finished sampling, she provided us with seltzer waters and then showed us an album of wedding cakes to give an idea of the structure and design options.

"You know," I said after perusing the different photos a few times, "the more I look at all these traditional tiered cakes, the more I think they don't really fit with Mikaela and I."

Alison nodded. "I know what you mean, I can't really see her wanting a cake that looks like this." She waved her hand at one of the pages I was currently open to – four tiers with the highest one propped up on cake pillars with bride and groom figurines dancing below with all white icing with white flowers.

"Can you give me a better idea of what you think would fit?" Josie asked, seemingly not fazed at all by us not liking what we were seeing.

I flipped through the photos back to one that had caught my eye – three tiers of octagonal cakes all separated by pillars, "This one I find interesting from a structural standpoint – and it's a bit unusual. Though I don't really like the roses all over it."

"We can do minimalist in any way you want," she assured me. "And we have lots of people looking for something a little more cutting edge."

"I vote for dodecahedron," Miles said.

"Only so you can say that anytime someone asks," Alison joked. "How many sides are you thinking per tier, Sam?"

"Can I put a pin on that and get back to the general look before I commit to a parallelogram?"

After taking a few more notes, taking a few cell phone pictures, and thanking Josie, we adjourned to our next appointment.

As I drove, Alison rummaged in her purse and pulled out something, saying, "Here." I reached over without looking and pulled my hand back to see ...a Slim Jim?

"Um, thanks?" I said, baffled, as Miles took his with a similar look of confusion.

Alison rolled her eyes a bit. "It was nice that they had palate cleansers – but you need something savory with protein between so you don't get a carb overload."

And here I thought I was the organized one, making all the appointments like a mature adult.

"I...really would not have thought of that." I said.

"And that's why they pay me the big bucks. The voice of reason, remember?"

"I didn't know the voice of reason was a dietician," Miles put in, ripping open the plastic and chowing down.

"I picked up some ideas from people who knew this stuff in college," she explained. "We managed four years of exams without a single sugar crash and it was probably some kind of record."

Wherever she got her information, it was more scientifically sound than Fassbinder's rule of chasing every bag of Cheetos with a Monster. I decided to man up and eat the Slim Jim.

The next bakery was one that I had chosen just for the name, "Get Baked!"

They didn't specialize in wedding cakes, but they did have some more unusual design options, including a gravity defying cake that was three offset cubes – it had video game decorations and was obviously geared towards children, but I was quite tempted. Then I thought about how the Autobots might consider it – me, the destroyer of the All Spark Cube eating cubes to celebrate our nuptials. Better pass on that one, but I did make a point of snapping off a photo of it.

At the third bakery (Fleur-de-Licious Delights) a man named Kyle greeted us and said, "The other member of your party is already here!"

Other member of our party?

I looked through the glass and saw Leo sitting in a chair idly tapping on his phone. My eyebrows shot up – I'd texted him and sent him the itinerary, but when I hadn't heard back I'd figured there was no chance of seeing him. He was alone, thankfully, but he already had a half-eaten slice of chocolate something in front of him.

"Sam! Paisano!" he said with the enthusiasm of someone who had been sugar-rushing all day. "This place has edible balls!"

Mortified, I glared at him as Miles beside me face-palmed. Alison gave me a raised eyebrow as if to say, "You really want to claim you know him?"

"Freshman housing and a perky girl named April made that decision for me," I answered her unspoken words. "Please tell me you mean those little silvery things you can use for decorations," I said, giving Leo another glare.

"My man Kyle says they're called dragees," Leo intimated.

"And you're not having any more of them," Miles decided.

"Well," Kyle jumped in, obviously trying to smooth over the situation, "we do take custom requests and have had a number of...unusual...groom's and bachelor party cake orders in the past, so if that's something you're interested in, we can make it work."

"Thank you, but that really isn't what we're looking for." I shook my head and gave Leo another glare.

"Sure." Kyle switched gears easily.

"So, what's the deal with this flavor?" I asked, gesturing to the slice Leo was still eating.

"This?" He shoved another forkful in his mouth and moaned a little longer than was necessary for an appreciative sound. "This is dark chocolate. And they put some cherry cordial in the stuff."

"Pass," I said. After a moment in which I made the executive decision to not have him kicked out, I grinned. "Glad you could make it."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, mijo." He finished the slice, then brandished his fork with a hopeful expression. "Did you know there are people out there who make cupcakes with Red Bull?"

"We'll save that for Fassbinder's bachelor party in 20 years," I said.

"Why wait?" Miles asked. "That would kick butt!"

Oh God, there were MORE weirdos like my other freshmen roomies.

"I don't think Mikaela will set foot anywhere near something with taurine," Alison said.

"You're right about that," I said. "She weaned me off of anything that gives me wings halfway through sophomore year."

"Yeah, but that doesn't keep us from getting funky," Leo said. "We've been sneaking sips in for years."

"We?" Miles' eyes lit up. "You're bringing backup!"

"The stag party's going to be lit AF," Leo bragged. "We don't even need that much to get going, but once we go, we're unstoppable."

Oh, geez.

"No, no," I said. "I've agreed to NOTHING about a bachelor party and that's not even your jurisdiction. It's the best man's."

"Yeah, but your Uncle Oppy's not going to give you a real sendoff. He'll book, like an architectural tour of Los Angeles or something."

"Oh, I love that idea," Alison interjected. "I did one of those in Seattle two years ago with my cousin and I learned so much about adapting that kind of terrain for different buttress styles!"

Okay, there was now a spectrum. On the one hand, I would drug Leo before he did keg stands with Red Bull. On the other hand, I was not going to spend my last night trying to look interested in art deco something or other.

"The point is," I said, trying to get back on topic, "everyone's going to come back without a wicked buzz, beer or Bull. And Uncle Oppy's going to back me up on this one."

"Uncle Oppy?" Miles asked, tilting his head a little. "You're letting an uncle plan your stag party?"

"Old family name," I said. "And we're more like brothers than uncle/nephew." At Alison's baffled expression, I added, "Closer in age."

"Ah," she said, while Miles nodded in understanding.

Yet another reason to browbeat Leo.

"Mom or Dad's side of the family?" When I gave Alison a 'what's your point' look, she elaborated. "Oppy? You're not the son of Judy and Rond de jambe Witwicky or something, are you?"

"Ronald is as wacky as Dad's name gets," I assured her. "But not everyone is named so sanely in the family. I guess I lucked out when my flower child mom wanted something traditional like Sam."

Leo, who couldn't keep his mouth shut for more than 60 seconds, said, "Just wait until you meet Nadipati Fassbinder."

Kyle, who I realized had been standing there throughout all this banter, finally cleared his throat, "Well, if you'll come this way, we've prepared a wide and wonderful array of cakes for you to sample and it's all prepared."

In other words, for the love of lemon meringue, could we stop gossiping and get around to some fondant talk? I knew he was a professional by the fact that he hadn't rolled his eyes yet.

Many of the flavor options were similar to the combinations we had tried at other stores, though they did have a couple of unique options like a tres leches wedding cake that I hadn't seen before.

The cake design options, though, were pretty standard and (dare I say) boring.

"You mentioned you do custom cakes," I said to Kyle as I looked at the album of design options, "Do you ever do any gravity defying cakes?" I thought back to the video game cake at "Get Baked."

"Not very many I'm afraid," Kyle said, "Our specialty is more illusion cakes and traditional wedding tiers."

I nodded and thanked him for his time, but mentally crossed this bakery off my list.

"You know," Miles said as we exited to the cars for the trip to the next bakery, "one of my boyfriends during college worked at a bakery – he more did the pastries rather than cakes – but he said that the best cakes always should have three things – a soaking syrup in the cake to keep in the moisture, a layer of contrasting flavor and a layer of contrasting texture."

The boyfriend thing didn't faze me – it wasn't exactly unexpected – but I was impressed that he'd retained something so cultured about someone he was into. We all grew up, I guessed. I got a destiny and he got an appreciation for culinary arts.

I thought about his point for a minute. "Not a bad philosophy, though I haven't seen anyone really do something with contrasting texture."

"I don't know," Leo said. "Twinkies have cake and cream filling and I think that counts."

"Also," Miles said, "why on earth would you attempt a tiered wedding cake with tres leches? It's a tray bake, not something with the structural integrity to use cake pillars."

"Pues, vale la pena. You don't let anything stop a good tres leches, not even some girly cake pillars."

At least I knew what to get him for his next birthday and it didn't even involve a can of Rock Star.

"I don't get it," Alison said deadpan, "how are cake pillars girly?"

Leo gestured in explanation, but when none of us got what he was trying to say, he shrugged. "They're too fancy and I don't get why we need them."

"We?" I asked, "This is my wedding cake."

"Yeah, but you gotta share it."

"With Mikaela," Alison said. "Keep this up and a Twinkie is all the cake you're getting."

"You can't say that!" Leo protested. "This is Sam's wedding cake."

"Nope," I decided. "She speaks for me on this."

Leo rolled his eyes.

"Anyway — you've got the address?" I asked Leo. He mumbled a yes and got in his car.

The fourth bakery was called "Cakes by Trish." Leo pulled into the parking lot just behind us.

"So, wait a sec," Leo said, looking at Miles as we entered the bakery and the little bell over the door gave a tinkle, "So you had a boyfriend…does that mean you aren't with Alison?"

"No, Alison and I are together," Miles said, "but I also like guys."

Leo jokingly smacked Miles on the shoulder and said, "Bro! If you're into that, leave hotties like Alison for us normal guys."

Oh slag.

Alison's hands fell to her sides as she stared in disbelief, but the stare quickly became a glare.

"Leo," I said quietly, urgently. "Knock it off."

"What?" he protested. "It's true, she's…" Turning to Alison, he corrected, "You've got a great body."

"I happen to think so," Alison said, her glare unwavering, "but that is none of your business."

"Preach," Miles said, folding his arms and trying to look like a bouncer with 6% muscle.

Tossing a grateful little smile Miles' way, she added, "Also, Miles is a normal guy. Bi doesn't mean alien."

Of course she would bring up aliens. Because Leo hadn't offended enough people yet. Because of course RaFly would be able to hear all this, if nothing else.

"Listen, chica…"

"Leo," I firmly said, interrupting him before he could start bragging about how he'd made RaFly blush or something.

"What?"

"A word."

"But…"

"A word."

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, Leo followed me over to the not-at-all privacy of the display case with a look of confusion on his face. "Look Leo, maybe you should head back home, we've got this covered."

His face showed shocked disbelief, "What?"

I sighed, "Do you realize you've been nothing but rude and puerile since joining us? You're my friend, but, come on man, act like an adult."

"But I didn't..."

"Mean anything by it?" I finished. He did look a little sheepish at that. "You never do, but you can't just act like that towards people. I should have spoken up earlier."

"Yeah, but they'll get used to it. It's just how I roll!"

"We're just barely reconnecting. I'm not going to ask them to get used to your brand of obnoxious; and why would they want to? This is a problem and I'm fixing the problem now."

Leo still looked flummoxed, like he didn't quite understand what was happening.

"I'll call you tonight and talk if you want," I said awkwardly.

Finally realizing how serious I was, he flushed and turned away. Giving a jerk of a nod in the direction of Miles, Alison and the bakery employee who were looking on in secondhand embarrassment, Leo left the building.

I rubbed my face for a second and then re-joined the others, "Sorry," I checked the employee nametag, "Felicia, got a little side tracked there. Let's get started, shall we?"

As we followed her to the side table with cake, Miles looked over at me for a moment, "That took guts. Thanks."

"Any time," I promised.

Authors' Endnotes: Feel free to understand this chapter better with more reading (all are available under our "Botosphere" profile):
- "Let Them Eat Cake" explains why Ironhide likes raspberry filling.
- "The Daily Buzz" is a energy-drink-taster's journey through alien first contact and the first year of college, from the POV of a very hyper Fassbinder.
- "The Break-up" is essential reading for any Miles and Alison scenes.