A/N:

Update: I took out the first scene with Momonga that was in first person, I think it's not really necessary. Also, I think I now know how I want to play out the story better.

-GadPro

Chapter 1. Internal Conflict

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

The sound of a phone calling echoed throughout the dining room. A single male staring down at it. This man was lightly dressed, sporting a muscle shirt and shorts that accentuated his fitness, he sported black hair and a full beard, as well as a big frown on his half Japanese/Caucasian features.

He was sitting down on the table waiting, his phone already on speaker, and on his right hand holding a bottle of hard liquor. It definitely wasn't cheap, but the hardest part was always finding it available in the first place, but as usual, having good connections tend to do the trick.

The man downed the bottle with audible gulps, continuing his old drinking habit, but today was an especially 'bad' day for him. He was very drunk because of it, but not like it was such a rare occurrence for him anyway.

At the other end of the call, a feminine voice answered, her clear voice asked in wonder.

"Hello?"

The man smiled as he heard her voice, despite being drunk, he felt elated that she answered his call. He had assumed that maybe she moved on to the point of willfully ignoring him. "Yamaiko- I mean, Maiko-san! How you've been? It's been a while since we've talk, hasn't it?"

The woman known as Maiko recognized his voice and smiled, happy to hear from her old gaming buddy. Maiko is a pretty black-haired Japanese woman in her early 30's, though while her beauty isn't astonishing, her beautiful figure is certainly eye-catching. Especially since she is currently wearing tight sportswear, highlighting certain areas.

"Hey, Mekongawa- I mean, Kenji-kun!" She fiddled with his name too. "Right back at you, it's been a long while since we've talked. Not gonna lie, I got a new phone because I lost my old one, so I didn't know who was calling me this late," she paused and smiled ever so brightly. "I've been well~, how about you? How's your Miya-chan?"

Kenji's smile shifted into a grimace as he stared down at his phone. He contained a scowl that was forming on his face, and he answered with almost gritted teeth but cheerfully enough. "Oh, we're doing great! We actually got married 2 years ago."

Maiko squeaked in melodramatic surprise, "No way! You and Miya-san finally tied the knot? How was it? Did you have a wedding?"

Kenji played with his bottle, swaying it from the tip in a balanced circular motion with his finger as he reminisced, "Ah, no. Just took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant inside the arcology, after that we went back home and we..." he held himself back from saying something crude, "made love."

Maiko sounded elated at the news. "Ah~ how adorable. Well, I'm glad you could afford taking her some place nice, I take it you still work as a bodyguard for that CEO?"

Kenji cringed at the other sensitive subject she brought up, but he pushed forward and responded as casually as he could. "The executive son, actually. And nah, it didn't work out in the end. But I got another job right after, so it turned out alright."

"Oh, well I'm glad to hear it!" Maiko smiled as she heard her old friend 'happily' talk about his life. She was genuinely delighted with the surprise call, and to be catching up with a longtime friend from Yggdrasil.

She was aware she didn't really keep in contact with any of the other guild members despite having shared both her email and phone number at the time.

Since A: They mutually didn't bother setting up a real-life-friends-meet-up with each other, plus, most of them only wanted to keep their friendship in the game.

And B: At the time, her relationship with Kenji was a tad bit different from the other members. It had started off as innocent playful banter. But it soon developed into something close to sexual playfulness, mostly from him. Of course, none of the other guild members were aware of this, as it could have caused plenty of concern and perhaps jealousy.

...But in the end, it didn't work out due to Kenji being insincere about his current relationship status. He was leading her on into what was essentially a polyamorous relationship that would include his current girlfriend and her.

Once Kenji proposed this idea, and assured Maiko he could take care of them both with his high salary... she slapped him IRL right after their first date, and punched him a whole lot in Yggdrasil until she finally decided to forgive him. Of course, after a lot of apologizing and groveling on his part.

But Maiko giggled as she now looked fondly at those silly memories.

Kenji took another gulp of his drink and did a deep "Ahh..." before moving on. "So, what's been new with you, Maiko? Got a boyfriend now?" He asked the question he was actually dreading to ask out of uncontained curiosity and some hidden jealousy.

But she giggled, almost as if she had been waiting in anticipation to be asked that. "Uhm, yeah! I not only 'had' a boyfriend. I got married too! 3 years and going strong baby!"

He did an audible cough in surprise, but also at the residue of alcohol that had just slid down his throat. But he fixed himself quickly so as to not draw suspicion. "Oh, really? That's awesome! I'm so happy for you, Maiko. I bet he's a great guy too, right?"

"Of course, he's a hard worker and very doting towards me and little Fumiko. I hit the jackpot with him." She assured happily, taking pleasure in boasting to his 'happily' married friend.

Kenji nodded in approval, though deep down he was hurting. "Maiko... I really am happy for you as your friend. You deserve to be happy." 'In this shit-stained world.' he thought to himself. "Wait... who's Fumiko?"

"Yep, thank you. And I was getting there! So, as I was about to tell you..." she jiggled in excitement as she held in the news to create a bit of suspense. "I'm actually a proud mother too!"

At hearing this Kenji's jaw dropped, and he took a rapid swig to get his bearings back. With his head fully inebriated, he smiled happily, "That's fucking amazing, Maiko! You finally got one of your own. Now you don't have to steal one from the ones you take care of."

She laughed at this, understanding the context of the joke, "Haha yeah. And I was so close too! Darn it!" She jested.

Her giggling lasted for a while, he was actually quite happy that his stupid jokes still made her laugh.

He asked the question he was pondering, not wanting to assume. "Say, is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a beautiful girl, about to turn 5 months."

"Amazing... you made a child... well ain't that fucking beautiful." He said genuinely.

His drunk mind not caring anymore about sounding incoherent or using crass language with a girl. But Maiko didn't really mind it much, she knew him well enough to know he was a natural curser with his friends. Plus, if he did use some curse words it was because there was trust.

"Thank you! Yes, she's very beautiful. I can hardly believe I made her."

"Yeah..." He agreed. "So, hey." Kenji looked dumbly at the half-empty bottle, tapping the cover with his finger, wondering on what to say next.

He decided to admit almost exactly what was going through his mind, not caring much anymore. "I really wish we could have tried it again..." He pulled back, "to hang as friends I mean!" He barely made sure to add. He realized just in time how it could have ruined their whole friendship if he didn't.

Maiko perked up at this and took it as a sign to hang out. "Yeah, I wouldn't really mind meeting again to catch up in person. In fact." She smirked as she came up with a fun idea, "What if you tell Miya-san to come too? So, the four of us can get to know each other and become mutual friends? You know, I've never actually met your Miya-chan before. Well, besides looking at the design of your maid."

Kenji ignored that last comment. He was more preoccupied with the relief he felt that she clearly didn't catch his hidden feelings for her.

But the whole meeting again wasn't feasible for someone in his circumstances, and mentioning Miya-chan right now was just...

"No... sorry. As in... I can't..." He stopped himself, forcing his drunken stupid brain to think and process his response faster. "I don't think, I will have a chance to contact you, or Naoaki, or the others, for quite some time, I don't know how long it will take. I'm... going to be terribly busy soon." he stated coldly, almost sounding too notably forlorn.

"Oh..." She sounded almost apologetic about making plans too prematurely during a bad time for him. "Sorry, your new job is really hard on you lately, huh?"

He slowly processed her words before replying deadpanned, "Yeah... 'work'..."

"I see..." Desperate to change the topic before it turned into an awkward silence, she recalled something that was happening today. As she remembered the old game they used to play together, she remembered some news she read. "So, hey! Did you hear how they are finally shutting down the server of Yggdrasil?"

Kenji tilted his head in surprise, "They are? Hmph, somehow, I must have missed hearing about it. When are they pulling the plug on the poor thing?"

"Dude... today!"

"What? You're kidding. The odds of me calling you and this happening are just so... damn. What time is it getting put down like the rest of the old games?"

"At midnight, and yeah, what are the odds? I'm surprised you didn't... Never mind." She stopped herself, almost pulling the pin on the granade which is his new time-consuming job. "Well, I take it since you didn't even know about it, I'm now sure you didn't read the email Momonga-san sent you, right?"

"Ahh no. Haven't opened my email in months... a year?" He said uncertain.

"Well, apparently Momonga-san sent one to each and every one of us. Though I already apologized to him a few days ago, telling him that I'm going to be too busy to go. He told me it's alright and not to apologize... Momonga-san is always so considerate! But you should totally go. You know, before you get too busy later on? I'm sure you'll make his day too."

"Hmph, yeah, I guess that sounds like a good idea. Heh, glad to hear the old guild leader is still kicking ass in the old game."

"Well, he really did love it. You know something? It really did surprise me when he pulled and pulled the gacha until he blew away his bonus just to get the same item as me... I mean... that was a little much."

"Heh, a little? You're too kind, you meant to say too damn much! But to be fair to Momonga, I guess us boys had more drive than you girls. You girls were less obsessed with min-maxing and increasing your power compared to most of us. In fact, I only ever stopped pulling gacha for a month after I got 100 trash items in a row, and I counted. Damn shit is so rigged."

Maiko scoffed at his prior casual insult. "Yeah right, comparing us girls by saying we have less obsession when it comes to 'gambling' is not exactly an insult. That's like an alcoholic boasting he's an alcoholic because he just can't stop doing what he loves, it's a dumb argument."

"Actually, I'm drunk now that you mention it." He confessed randomly and out of drunk stupidity.

Maiko gasped in surprise. "You are? I didn't even notice. Although, now that you mention it, you did sound a bit slow when you talked." A realization suddenly hit her. "Wait a sec! Did you drunk dial me again? You always did this to me back in the day... you better not ask me to talk dirty to you again!"

Kenji chuckled at this, not wasting his chance to mess with her. "No, of course not..." He paused for a bit, until finally. "So, what are you wearing again?"

Maiko smiled at his antics and made her best effort to sound angry at him. "I knew it! No. Drop it. We're both married! We're not playing this childish game or I'm hanging up!" She threatened, though deep down she was enjoying his playful silliness, she knew him well enough to know he wasn't serious.

"Okay, okay, sorry! Just got carried away... by the way I only teased because you mentioned it in the first place, so not my fault." He countered.

Maiko dismissed his argument, going for another jab at his friend, "You know, you're lucky I kept quiet and didn't tell any guild member you loved harassing a poor innocent girl like me. What would they have done to you had they known? I wonder...?" She mused.

Kenji waved his hand in dismissiveness as he chuckled, "Yeah, right... All I remember is making you laugh. You didn't tell anyone because you liked playing along. Either way, I'd have stopped if you asked me, or if I figured it made you feel uncomfortable, you know that."

She fidgeted a little, she soon remembered his ability to read people is one of his gifts. "Well, I suppose you're right. But that was back then when we were young adults! We're both married adults with responsibilities to our partners now, got it?"

"...Of course."

They continued talking for a little while longer, going back-and-forth on their playful jesting while cracking jokes, but soon enough Kenji massaged his forehead in distress. Though he enjoyed the little playful banter and long-awaited conversation with his old friend, and especially just loved hearing her voice, he knew he needed to end the call soon, else he might say something he'd regret.

"Anyhow... Maiko-chan. Thank you for answering my call, it was nice hearing from you again." He said slowly, pouring meaning behind every word.

She kicked back and relaxed from the shift of atmosphere. She answered in a much sweeter tone in return. "It's alright, I'm really happy we got to talk again. Just do me a favor. Remember that being drunk is no excuse or a free pass to do or say stupid things. You really ought to drink less, your wife might not tell you anything about it, but it probably bothers her if you get drunk too often. Seriously, you're the only drunk person I've ever met, most people I know can't even find alcohol." She chided him, though this caused him to smile widely, enjoying the fact that she cared enough to discipline him.

"Okay mom, thank you for worrying... I'm sure I will eventually fix this curse my father passed down to me. I will try to... work on it."

"You better," she half warned and teased, ignoring being called mom. "Okay then, well, I guess I'll talk to you later. You have my phone number for whenever you're free. Bye, Kenji-san!"

"Bye, Maiko-chan... I love you." And before he even waited to hear either a gasp, or an answer from her, he hung up.

He hoped she didn't hear him, or that she could perhaps excuse it as a drunken stupid mistake of his, or just his regular teasing.

But no... truthfully speaking, that was the whole point of the call. To see how she was, and to tell her he regretted his bad decision of marrying Miya.

To lay bare his feelings before embracing his fate... but he didn't.

And he knew deep down it was for the best.

Maiko was now happily married. She didn't need to hear him break down. It would be a selfish burden to just hurl at her, one she doesn't deserve or need in her life. And not like Maiko revealing she was single and childless would make a Goddamn difference anyway...

Kenji got off his seat, bottle of liquor still in hand. He walked towards the only bedroom in their shabby apartment, and he leaned over to peek through the half-open door inside. In the dark room, he could make out the blurred image of two adult bodies lying naked on his bed, completely unmoving, almost as if sleeping.

With a pained expression he closed the door loudly, not wanting to see anymore and remember what he'd done after what he had found.

He snatched his phone from the table, and while hyperventilating he called his best friend Naoaki. He took another swig to calm his nerves as the ringing tone began.

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

"Answer me. Please..."

*Ring*

"Hello, Kenji? I'm still at work! Can you call me later?" Naoaki said, sounding troubled at the sudden call.

"..."

Kenji was as silent as a crypt, allowing the deep feeling of relief to wash over him as he heard his childhood friend's voice. He didn't respond, he wasn't too sure where to even begin, and if he should even tell him something so incriminating over the phone.

Kenji's deep silence caused his friend Naoaki to worry.

"Hello, Kenji? You there brother?"

"...Naoaki..." He uttered slowly, while sounding pained and regretful. "I... I fucked up... I... I'm going to die... Please... I want us to meet soon."