Author's notes:
I could never come to terms with the way three words and Empedocles were presented. The shift in Mulder could only be explained by the fact that he and Scully must have talked.
When I researched the Three Words script, there was a deleted scene. Moreover, Scully and Mulder are wearing different clothing from when Skinner visits them to when they arrived at the apartment from the hospital.
The deleted scene in the script:
it's Skinner knocking on the door and Scully answering!
She was there before Skinner showed up. So it's either
a. She spent the night from when she brought him home from the hospital (my thought- because why would she be carrying an overnight bag for Mulder?)
OR
b. It's the next day and she goes back to Mulder's apartment before Skinner gets there, which doesn't make sense considering the time frame.
Anyway, I think they spoke about the pregnancy and their relationship and this is my inadequate response to the shift in behavior.
(There is some original dialogue from the script in this fic)
Day
She'd been walking on eggshells ever since Mulder had been resurrected. Scully knew he was going through so much; honestly, she couldn't imagine. But she was worried. Worried she'd lose him again. But this time, she wouldn't be able to save him. Once Mulder was fixated on something, it was hard to get him to focus on anything else.
"You must be happy to be home," she said, choosing her words carefully.
Brief silence; she went into the bedroom and dropped her bag off at the foot of the bed. The bed in which she cried, slept, and dreamed of Mulder during times of profound despair and loneliness. She gathered her composure before returning to the living room.
"Yeah, something looks different," Mulder responded as he scanned his apartment. Her stomach flipped and she felt slightly nauseous.
"It's clean," she said.
"Ah, that's it."
Mulder continued to look over his apartment. And she stood awkwardly in the living room, only thinking about the words she dared not speak.
"I'm missing a Mollie."
It wasn't what she expected, but then again, it was a perfect Mulder deflection. There was some comfort in that, she thought.
"Yeah, she wasn't as lucky as you."
Maybe she could draw it out of him and make him talk.
"I don't know if you can truly understand what it was like. To first learn of your abduction and then searching for you and finding you dead."
The words felt as if they were stuck in her throat, and she held back her tears as she continued to pour her heart out to him.
"And now I have you back and..." She took a deep breath. She knew what she wanted to say next. But Mulder interrupted her in the only way he knew how.
"Well, you act like you're surprised." A half hearted chuckle escaped his mouth. And Scully sighed. At least that part of him hadn't changed. Using his humor to avoid tough conversations, she smiled, feeling an overwhelming urge to share with him how she felt.
"I prayed a lot."
He smiled at her and her heart fluttered. She resisted the need to run to him. Her body yearned for him to hold her once more. She wanted so badly to feel his arms around her.
"And my prayers have been answered."
"In more ways than one," Mulder said, focusing on her pregnant belly. It was time she thought to herself. She'd let him know.
She'd tell him now. Mulder, this is our baby. But fear dictated her response.
"Yeah," was all she said.
"I'm happy for you..." For us. Be happy for us, Mulder . The words hidden from him, only to be recited to herself.
He continued, "I think I know how much that means to you." He finished.
Scully looked up from her pregnant belly and at Mulder. She searched his face for any sense of understanding—anything that would tell her she could let him know the truth. But when he avoided her stare, she knew she would have to say it. She would have to tell him.
"Mulder…,"
He interrupted her, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful," he continued, and her eyes watered at his candor.
"I just... have no idea where I fit in. Right now."
His eyes were distant, and she longed for them to see her the way they used to. Mulder shook his head, as if he read her thoughts and knew what she wanted from him but could not deliver.
"I just, uh, I'm having a little trouble processing everything."
He finished speaking, avoiding her eye contact. Her breath came out in shallow pants, and she knew at that moment that what she so badly wanted to tell him would have to wait.
Night
Scully knew the distance that had taken up space between them would need to be addressed. In most cases, time would dictate when the conversation would take place, but so much time had already been wasted that she couldn't bear another minute without talking to Mulder about the pregnancy.
She had rehearsed the conversation in her mind over and over, praying for a miracle to give her just that—the opportunity to tell Mulder.
She was standing at the table sorting the take-out they ordered for dinner when she blurted out.
"It's yours. In case you were wondering," half-heartedly, wanting him to hear but also worried that he did.
Mulder was sitting on the green leather couch, and her back was facing him. She was brave enough to tell him, but not brave enough to look him in the eyes as she did it.
Maybe she was afraid she'd see disappointment in his eyes and frankly, she didn't think she could handle it. He didn't respond and the only sound was the sound of her flipping through the to-go containers. Her hands were shaking and she thought she might need to sit down.
"I know," was all he said.
Silence.
Scully carried a plate full of sesame chicken and rice to the coffee table, setting it down before him. She went to turn around and head back to the table but Mulder grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.
"Scully."
"Mulder, I…"
"Let me finish. I know Scully; I know it's mine."
He said it with more conviction in his voice than she had heard in a while. A long while . Scully nodded, letting out a slow sigh of relief. He gently rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb and his touch sent chills up her spine.
Suddenly, the reality of everything she had prayed for, hoped for, and longed for was in front of her. She was overwhelmed with emotion, and her eyes started to water. She had been strong up until now, and she tried to avert her gaze from Mulder, not wanting to seem weak.
"Dana, look at me," he said in a voice only reserved for her. A voice she had desperately tried to remember, a voice she thought she'd never hear again.
"I told you to never give up on a miracle."
He let go of her hand and returned a tired smile and for the first time since he had returned, she saw him.
He was in there, her Mulder.
She wiped her tears and walked to the table, only to return with a plate for herself. Sitting down next to Mulder. They ate together in silence and while she had eaten with Mulder countless times in the past, this felt oddly new and familiar at the same time. She suspected it would be like this for a while, at least.
A new normal had emerged.
She finished her food but Mulder was still grazing. He was always a slower eater than her- which was ironic considering everything he did was with fierce intensity. But eating was something he enjoyed, and she loved that about him.
"Two," she said, leaning back against the couch and rubbing her belly softly. With a puzzled look, Mulder turned his head toward her. His elbows still resting on his knees, fork in hand, mid bite.
"I've got two miracles, you and, well," she said, her eyes resting on her belly. She smiled softly, not looking up, afraid to meet Mulder's eyes for fear they might be disappointed.
"Mulder. Give me your hand." She said in a deep, throaty hush.
She reached her hand out and Mulder hesitantly placed his hand in hers. She positioned herself to face Mulder and then placed his hand on her belly.
Her tummy moved at his touch, and the little life inside her kicked and fluttered in the spot where his hand rested. Mulder gasped and Scully looked up at him. He was leaning over, resting on an elbow, while his other hand stayed firm on her stomach.
All the worry she had about Mulder being disappointed suddenly went out the window. Mulder's face was filled with wonder and joy. A joy she hadn't seen since, well, since they had confessed their love for each other years prior. The corners of his lips curled up into a warm smile.
Mulder tore his gaze away from her pregnant belly, moving his eyes to meet hers. And for the first time, their eyes locked, and everything they had ever said, shared, and felt between each other suddenly flooded back. His eyes were wet from tears and she couldn't help but release her own.
"Mulder, I…"
"I'm okay, Scully," he said, removing his hand from her belly and wiping her tears from her check. He moved closer, their faces inches apart.
"I'm okay," he repeated, and Scully cried at his reassurance. She couldn't stop crying, and Mulder continued to wipe her tears. She sat up, and he scooted back so that he could wrap his arm around her. He gently kissed her forehead.
"I missed you so much, Mulder. There were times I didn't think I would make it, but the baby, our baby, and hope kept me going," she said.
Spilling out her words and tears.
"Scully, you are the strongest person I know. Thank you for not giving up on me," he said.
Scully sat up and without hesitation, she leaned in and placed her lips on his. Softly at first, and when she went to remove them, he pulled her in closer.
Their lips smashed in a passionate kiss. Hunger suddenly took over, and she parted her mouth, inviting his tongue—she had missed his mouth and his taste.
The muscle memory of Mulder came flooding back to her, overtaking every inch of her body. All the ache and longing she ever felt while he was gone was suddenly erased with one kiss. It was all coming back to her.
All of it, all of him .
Morning
Scully only woke up twice to use the bathroom and three times to check to see if Mulder was breathing. Other than that, she slept soundly. Having him next to her again was everything she had prayed for; she could hardly believe it.
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. The sun's morning glow peaked through the bedroom window. Tiny particles glimmered in the golden beams and her thoughts drifted to mornings in the past when waking up next to Mulder was home. And then it wasn't and her mornings were a juxtaposition of heartache and hope. She never wanted to feel that hole in her heart again.
A rustling movement next to her startled her and Mulder shifted his body to face her. She could feel his gaze on her. She turned her very pregnant body toward him, and when she did, her belly took up all the space between them. Mulder smiled softly, putting his hand on her belly.
"Hey, good morning," he said with a raspy voice, indicative of his early grogginess. She managed a soft smile, "Good morning. Do you know I've waited months to hear you speak those words to me again. Fearful that I would never hear them again. And now…" she choked on the memory of her laying in his bed crying herself to sleep.
"It's alright. I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere."
A tear cascaded down her cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. Mulder moved closer and kissed her on her forehead. Scully closed her eyes, cementing the moment in her brain. She wanted to tell him everything, and she finally felt like he was ready.
"Mulder, I need to tell you what it was like for me when you were gone. Are you ready to hear it?
His eyes softened. "Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Come here," he said, opening his arms and she slowly flipped over, scooting her back flushed against his torso while he wrapped his arms around her pulling her in tight. She took a deep breath then sighed.
"When I found out I was pregnant I was so happy. It was a miracle and the only person I wanted to tell, to share it with, was gone."
Mulder squeezed her arm and she kept going. "And now you're here. And we're going to have a baby. And I'm afraid it's too much for you. I am afraid you won't want this life. That I will lose you again."
Silence.
"Scully, I will admit. It's a lot, but I knew what I was getting into when we first started this journey," he paused, "together. We started this together. It's gonna take time, but I'm all in."
Scully let out a sigh of relief; she felt hopeful. But there was one more thing she needed to tell Mulder.
"The chatter, Mulder. It got worse." She could feel his chest rise and he too let out a large sigh knowing very well what she was talking about.
"Mr. and Mrs. Spooky was nothing, that was child's play. When the news spread of your abduction, and those are just the people who entertained it, people really talked. People said you ran away from me because I was knocked up." She turned around to face him. He had tears in his eyes and his face was flush.
"It's my fault. It's all my fault."
"No, Mulder. It's not. But now that you are here. No one deserves to know anything about our lives. No one. Not till I'm ready."
He nodded and she rested her hand on his cheek. She continued. "And it's not your fault. Well, this is your fault," she said with a big smile, moving her hand to point down at her pregnant belly.
Mulder returned a grin. "I will gladly take the blame on that one. I rather liked the process," he said and grabbed her hand, kissing her knuckles.
"Scully, I'm inclined to do whatever you wish. We can do this on your time."
Scully sighed, "Thank you, I appreciate that." She continued, "One more thing, I need you to know…," her voice trailed as she remembered missing out on her chance to say the three words that mattered most.
She wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
"I love you Mulder."
"I know Scully. I love you too."