[At the center of headquarters...]

Rekrusha: Here's the plan - Snepz, scan your body with that thingy. Pictourr, go find my grapling hook.

Snepz: Got it, sis!

Pictourr: Ready for anything!

[Snepz dashes off]

Snepz: Du du du tun-tu tun. [Imitates airlock opening as he bends over a scanner, with a red stud under his 2x4] Du du du tun-tu tun.

Rekrusha: Control operator to virtual soldier. Commencing digital scan process.

Snepz: [Whistles as he is scanned]

Rekrusha: Scanning in progress. [Pictourr gives her the grappling hook] (to pictourr) thanks. (at computer) Prepare to enter the internet in three… two… [Sees Goatse] AGHH-HOLY-AH! ABORT! ABORT! [Types repeatedly while covering his eyes] ABORT!

[In the Headquarters bathroom...]

[Rekrusha cleans his unblinking eye with a steady stream of water]

Rekrusha: That didn't go out as well. I just saw somethng even gross than that woman video.

Snepz: Alright, never mind. We'll just have to find the Internet's address, and deal with this in the normal world, I guess.

Pictourr: [Stops washing his eyes] Don't be ridiculous. The Internet is a thing, not a person.

Shower Handle: Yeah, dude. Can't you see the difference?

[All the things in the bathroom come to life, and laugh]

Toilet: Dumb nut.

Pictourr: Time for Plan B.

[Back at Headquarters...]

[Pictourr searches something on the computer. It chimes in]

Pictourr: Ha! I knew it. The Internet lives only three blocks from here! Let's go-

[The computer suddenly chimes in]

Snepz: [Gasps] Top 20 cutest vtubers? Click! [Clicks]

Video: AMNUTTIN AUHHH-

The squad: OH!

Pictourr: [Clicks]

Video: OOH STRESHDISAE-

The squad: AH!

Rekrusha: [Clicks]

Video: ABATUKOMMAAAAA-

The squad: [Covers each other's faces] [Flinches and groans]

Rekrusha: Wait! Can't you see what's happening?

Snepz and Pictourr: What?

Rekrusha: The internet is tricking us with two of its deadliest weapon: time-wasting and clickbait.

Snepz: You're right! Just one more, and then we'll go. [Clicks]

Video: YE FUHDEDUDUAUMAHBU-

The squad: AUGH!

[This is accompanied by a loud pooping noise]

Snepz: Alright, just one more. [Clicks]

[Snepz sees his own video]

Snepz: Big mistake, internet. That was a repost.

Rekrusha: Well then, "Operation: Hackems" is a go.