In which everyone forgets that Jasper is the second oldest vampire in the family and rather manipulative when he wants to be. No one even notices he thinks his little brother is being adorably ridiculous. Heck, even Alice didn't notice he was teasing…
Edward sat stiffly at the dining room table during the family meeting. Rosalie was really very angry with him but at least she finally understood he was really the only one to blame for the accident two months ago and all the danger that had brought to his family and he was to blame for what happened with the truck and the risk involved in that. Maybe he should move back to Alaska where there weren't so many people around and he wouldn't be such a bother.
"Rose enough," Jasper interrupted quietly but firmly. Alice looked like she wanted to cry and Jasper was very aware of just how Edward was feeling about Rose's chastisement. "Edward, if this is too much, if you need me to kill her for you I can. It'll look like an accident. No one will know and she won't suffer."
"NO!" Came in stereo from Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Edward.
"Okay," answered Jasper. "I didn't say I was going to eat her."
Carlisle looked like he was getting a tension headache. "No Jasper, that's worse, not better."
"So you want me to eat her?"
"No. Bella lives," Carlisle ordered. He was going to have to talk to Jasper later. Jasper was going to give Edward a nervous breakdown pushing him that hard. This was the first time in forever Carlisle could remember Edward acting for something he wanted for himself. Poor Edward didn't even understand his own actions.
"Why are you trying to block me all of a sudden Alice?" asked Edward.
"Because the future can be beautiful but you're walking a tightrope Edward and I don't want you to look down," Alice admitted. Esme had spent the last two months talking to Alice about tempering her gift so that she wasn't plowing through people's choices and freewill like a superbowl linebacker.
Emmett looked at Edward who honestly looked like a stiff wind would shatter him and decided maybe he ought to try to speak up in the kid's defense. "If the truck had squished her, all that blood would have led to a buffet right? So Eddie didn't do too bad, did he Rose?"
Carlisle knew that pretending Edward had chosen to act to spare the family a greater risk might spare his son's feelings now but that it was a lie that left to fester would cause harm in the long run. "Edward acted because he didn't want Isabella hurt, Emmett. He didn't stop to think beyond that first instinct. Even with our accelerated mental capacity we don't always have the time to act against what's in our heart."
"I do love this family," protested Edward horrified.
"Of course you do," Esme consoled instantly. "Edward sweetheart, nobody thinks you don't."
For a long time everyone was as silent and still as an odd museum diorama of 'teenage boy in trouble with the family, late 20th century, North America'.
Finally Carlisle tried to soften things a little. "Even if we did have to move it would be a pleasant change for it to have been an accident that saved a life rather than one that resulted in a loss."
"I ate my singer," offered Emmett, trying to cheer up Edward who looked miserable.
Rosalie snarled, "That's not something to be proud of Emmett!"
"Rosalie," Edward asked softly. "What do you want of me?"
"Just stop Edward! STOP!" she answered in frustration.
"Stop what Rose?" Edward pleaded helplessly. "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble for everyone before and I'm sorry I'm causing trouble for you now. I, I don't really want to be a bother to anyone."
"Arggh! Stop apologizing Edward!" Rose snapped. "An apology implies a change in behavior and an intent to do something different, be different. You can't just apologize on behalf of the universe for fucking with you!"
"LANGUAGE!" snapped both Carlisle and Esme. Rose would be washing her mouth out with rodent blood tonight!
"...okay, I won't talk to her anymore. I'll stay away," Edward promised softly.
"Jasper, where are you going?" demanded Carlisle, when Jasper with a shake of his head and a look of resignation got up and walked away dismissively.
"Alice and I are going shopping for some brooding music. I'm sick of Edward's current selection and if this is how we're dealing with events I want to expand his repertoire."
In the nearest decent music store which was nearly an hour's drive away Alice and Jasper flipped through the CD's.
"Jasper, he was happy after he rescued her?" Alice commented.
"He carries the world on his shoulders Darlin'. No one can make everyone happy all the time but he can certainly tell when he's made someone unhappy."
"I would love for him to finally start taking action to make himself happy instead of worrying so much about everyone else," Alice replied.
"I'd love for him to stop self flagellating for occasionally needing help from people who love him and to figure out that we'll be happy if he's happy; even Rosalie, who seems to want to drive him back to Alaska and leave him there." Jasper smirked.
"I keep trying to picture Bella as a vampire. I can picture the pale sparkly skin and even the newborn red eyes but in my imagination she keeps apologizing to her food," commented Alice.
The pair of them fell to laughter.
Edward didn't understand what he wanted. He teased Bella horribly. She currently had him confused for a comic book hero that didn't like her very much.
When she fainted because of the blood typing exercise Edward was quick to run to the rescue, terribly amused that she was still taking a turn at being the victim and quick to punish her with a little too much help.
Alice rolled her eyes as she dropped off the truck for her ignorant idiot of a brother.
Edward was currently out spying on Bella. He claimed he was observing her to insure she didn't suspect anything about the family. While he was out of the house Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose were gossiping about him behind his back.
"He's entirely too gleeful to be the one stepping in to help, rather than the victim," observed Jasper with a chuckle. "It definitely is an odd version of pulling on a girl's pigtails to get her attention but Edward is odd so I suppose it fits."
"Edward keeps growling at the competition and he doesn't even know he's doing it," Alice replied delightedly.
"Kid's lost his mind," Emmett declared with an amused grin.
Rose rolled her eyes, "If he eats her after all of this do you have any idea how insufferably depressed he'll be? For the last 90 years he's moaned and groaned about what a monster he is."
"Ah Rosie, I knew you cared!" Emmett gave Rosalie the pleased huggy squishies.
The day the girl's choice dance posters went up Edward's siblings decided he'd officially lost his mind.
Alice had been jumping up and sitting down for a good portion of the day.
"Darlin' what in the world is the matter?" asked Jasper. Alice had been vacillating between delighted, alarmed and relieved for most of the day.
"I think Edward's going to give himself an aneurysm, he's so worked up right now. He keeps making these fleeting decisions to kill the competition: squish them like little bugs, bat Mike Newton across the room, string Tyler Crowley up by his intestines, run Eric over with the Volvo. Thank goodness Bella hasn't actually accepted anyone's invitation to that dance. She's saved so many lives today."
After Jasper managed to stop laughing he finally asked Alice, "So is he going to ask her to the dance?"
Alice shrugged, "Hell if I know. Edward has himself tied in such knots he can't decide what clothes to put on in the morning. He's been accusing me of treating him like a Ken doll for laying out his clothes every day this last week but it was the only choice if we wanted to get to school on time. He doesn't know if he wants her to think he's attractive or scary or approachable or conservative or dangerous."
This fevered pitch reached its peak one quiet night. Alice and Jasper were cuddling when Alice slipped into a vision. Jasper used to this, held her and waited it out.
"It's resolved," she announced with a smile.
"What did you see, love?" asked Jasper.
"He chose her. Finally."
"How? What got through to our adorable block head?"
"Well… I think it was a mix between heroically squishing spiders and hearing her say his name in her sleep."
"Heroically squishing spiders?"
"It's like you've been trying to tell him for months now, wanting to protect the people we love from hurt isn't a burden, it's a …" Alice couldn't find the words. Edward had been so upset by the lengths his family had needed to take to protect and help him.
"It's a privilege. As hard as it can be to help see someone you love through difficulty it is its own reward."
"I also saw Rosalie pitching a fit," Alice tacked on with a grin.
"So squishing spiders and pitching a fit. That's how it ends?" confirmed Jasper.
"Let's call it true love instead," Alice replied with a grin.
"As you wish," Jasper answered with a dramatic bow.
*fin*